[glass squeaks]
[breathing heavily]
[inhales deeply]
Oh, man. Y'all are nevergoing to believe this.
Big City is throwinga huge street fair,
and it's right around the cornerfrom our house.
I'm gonna get inthe first bounce house I see
and just go wild.
I'm going to buy a funnel cake and then use it
for its one true purpose:
funneling an entire slushie directly into my face.
Last time, I spent all Bill's money
trying to win the ring toss.
But this time, I'm coming prepared.
Okay. I'm just goingto hit up the ATM real quick,
and then we can go.
Hey, Dad, we're going to the street fair,
so why don't you slapa few big bucks
in my tiny hands, please?
Uh... no?
- Huh? - I said, no.
Papa, I think you said "yes" wrong.
No, I meant what I said.
I think we should all stay here and have a quiet night in.
[all laugh]
Good one, Dad.
But, uh... money?
Dang it, Cricket, I'm serious.
Our production costs have been through the roof.
Production costs?
Yeah. That's what I call money we spend
on producing fun for ourselves.
You know, things like restaurants, movies,
fancy shoes that a certain someone never wears.
I just don't want to get them dirty.
So if we can'tgo to the fair,
what the heckare we supposed to do?
Well, there's plenty to do right here in the living room.
We can just re-use the assets we already have.
- Assets? - [sighs]
Just think of it this way. Why go on new adventures,
when you can remember the old ones?
We spent a lot of money making those memories.
We might as well get more use out of them, right, gang?
- [all grumble] - I'll go first.
Remember when we went to that fancy seafood restaurant?
[Cricket] We didn't have restaurants like this back in the country.
Okay, fella, back to where you belong.
Aah!
[grunts]
[all scream]
[Gramma] Grab on!
We did it, Tilly. We're hero... oh, my goodness.
- [gasps and angry chatter] - [man] Disgusting!
You and your familyare banned for life!
-I'm so sorry-- -Get out!
Ah!
[all panting]
That sure was expensive. But remembering it is free.
Ah! This is like one of those TV episodes
where the cheap producers reuse old clips,
because they're too lazy to write new stuff.
I think it sounds pretty resourceful.
So, does anyone else care towindow-shop down memory lane?
Fine, I'll go.
Y'all remember that time the robot dinosaur almost ate us?
- [both] Oh, yeah. - Wait what?
I remember it perfectly.
[roars]
- I love eating cars! - Oh, toots.
Well, the the sight of that dinosaur made me sad.
Time to shake my head, then drive with my face.
Cricket. Cricket, Cricket.
Cricket. Cricket, Cricket, Cricket, Cricket.
Glove.
It's for you.
I get a word in when I can.
Aw, I am no longer sad. Hug.
[loud crash]
I'm hungry!
Oh, no, this stinks!
And nothing bad happened to Bill's truck. The end.
Wait, did the dinosaur talk? I feel like I'd remember that.
Well, I'm sorry my old dump truck of a brain
can't remember it word for word.
If you're going to sass me about it,
why don't you tell a story?
All right! Jeez. Uh...
Oh! Hey, y'all remember that funny thing Weezie said?
Ha-ha! Got to get it to have it.
Actually, I think he said...
All noodles, no spaghetti.
No, he definitely said...
Little steps, big toes.
Wait, I thought I said the funny thing.
Slap it up, slap it in.
- No, no, no, no. - Definitely not.
- That don't sound right. - Here, I have a story.
I went on an adventure I've never told y'all about.
Packed with action, exotic locales and new faces.
There I was, taking a stroll in Little Tokyo.
The sakura were in full bloom.
But even their sweet scent
couldn't mask the stench of evil.
Hold up. What's all this?
Hm? Oh, this is a storyboard.
Storyboard?
It's a board with a story on it?
Come on, Cricket, context clues. Keep up.
Anyways, I had just finished my mochi,
when I saw a giant monster attacking the city.
Just then a man ran up to me with a briefcase.
He said something in Japanese.
[speaking Japanese]
And it was in that moment I knew what I had to do.
[gasps]
[roaring]
I was ready for the fight of my life.
And after an incredible, dramatic, complex battle,
I defeated the beast.
Yatta!
The end.
Well, that would've been great
if it wasn't a board story, or whatever.
You could have at least colored it.
That didn't actually happen, did it?
No.
- Hm. - [cell phone vibrates]
- Oh, hey, Nancy. - [Nancy, on phone] Hey, Bill.
I'm at the street fair. You guys coming?
Oh, no, we just decided to have a relaxing night in.
Mom? We're dying here. Please, what's it like?
I must know.
Oh, my gosh, well...
It's like, there's...
Honestly, it's... it's indescribable.
Please, Mama. Describe anything.
How's the cotton candy?
Oh, man, where do I start? It's so... pink.
- Oh! - Oh!
Talk to you later, Nance.
Yeah, yeah, later.
I can't take this.
I need to experience something new
with an actual location and people.
Oh, I got a story.
Did I ever tell you about the time
I went back to that fancy seafood restaurant?
[humming]
- [Lloyd] Leave. - [Bill] Yup.
[humming]
When they said banned for life, they meant it.
I am done reminiscing.
Okay, okay.
How about we all just take a moment
to be alone with our thoughts?
Dad, that's even worse.
I can't hear you.
I've retreated into the Bill-scape.
Hm, could be fun. I'll give it a try.
Hey, brain, give me a list of things to think about.
Sure thing. Rocks. Balloons.
World problems. Battleship names.
[Gramma] Ah, finally alone with my thoughts.
Hm, a little quiet in here.
[sputters lips and gibbers]
That's more like it.
[Cricket] This is so dumb.
Who hears "fun" and thinks, "Oh, I'll sit in silence"?
[Bill] All right, Bill, you bought some time. But this won't last long.
You gotta think of something to entertain them with, and fast.
Oh, I know. I will come up with a joke.
[Tilly] Books. Tattoo ideas. Animals.
Oh, animals, please.
Coming right up.
Anteaters, praying mantises, ferrets...
[Gramma blathering]
[Bill] Ugh! Joke-writing is hard.
How about one where the punch line is "corn"?
Corny? Is that something? Aah!
[Cricket] Ugh, guess this is what we're doing now.
Has been a while since I gave the old brain a whirl.
All right, brain, what you got for me?
People don't find your wacky antics
as endearing as you think.
Nope! I'm done.
Wait, wait, I have a knock-knock joke.
Who's there? Dang it!
Well, if we're just going to sit around all day,
we might as well watch some TV.
- [static crackles] - Father. Explain.
I cut the cable.
[laughing] Is that all?
That's really cool. For a second, I--
[screams and grunts]
Calm down, boy. Now's not the time.
Dad, what where you thinking?
Now how am I supposedto watch my favorite show,
Little Country Blues?
It was the easiest wayto save some money.
Back me up, sweetie.
Well, we still have streaming, right?
- Ad-supported. - [shrieks]
Save your strength, Tilly. He ain't worth it.
Hm. You've been spared.
I was just trying to save us money.
- Someone's got to. - It's a slippery slope, Bill.
What's next?
You going to install a timer on the electricity
so it automatically shuts off every night?
Uh...
would you believe me if I said no?
[Cricket] Why would you cut the power at night?
That's when we need it the most.
[Bill] I don't know.
I thought we'd be asleep by now.
[Tilly] Papa, it is 6:00 p.m.
[Bill] I'm feeling pretty sleepy.
[Cricket] Listen up, old man.
I'm about to go ham bananas on this house,
and I am not stopping until the lights are on
and the cable is back.
- You hear me? Huh? Huh? - [Bill] Cricket, please.
- [loud crash] - What was that?
[Cricket] Don't worry about it, Billiam.
[screams]
-[Gramma] Slow down.-[Bill] Oh, jeez, he's lost it.
[Gramma] Take cover!
- [Cricket screaming] - [objects crashing]
[Bill] Okay, I think he's done.
-Should be safe to-- -[Cricket screams]
[Bill] Cricket, I'm begging you, please stop.
[Cricket] I can't stop.
The people at home expect entertainment.
- [Bill] What people at home? - [Cricket] Us!
The people in this home!
[Gramma] Dang it, this is getting out of hand.
[Bill] Okay, fine, I'll get the lights back on.
- [crowd cheering] - [loud music blaring]
All right, power's back.
Hope the damage isn't too expensive to draw--
Huh, nothing's broken?
Sounded like it was a lot worse.
Yeah, but Cricket did break the fourth wall.
- The what? - The fourth wall.
Look.
See? He put a huge hole in it.
What? Y'all don't number the walls?
Okay, listen, everyone.
I may have gotten a little carried away today.
I was worried you kids didn't know the value of a dollar.
So I thought I'd show you that you don't need
to spend money to have fun.
I guess we were pretty thirsty for that cash.
But the fact is, Bill, we didn't have any fun today.
Listen, Dad, expensive things can be fun,
but fun things don't have to be expensive.
Huh. You may be onto something there.
So how about a compromise?
We go to the street fair, but we don't buy anything.
Yeah. Instead of drinking a slushie,
I will drink in the atmosphere.
And instead of playingring toss,
I'll just heckle other peoplewhile they play.
That's priceless.
How's that sound, big guy?
[gasps] Such frugality.
That sounds great.
Okay, y'all go have some fun.
- Yay! - Let's go!
Hey, wait. Aren't you coming?
Huh? Oh, no, I'll be fine here.
- What? - You gotta come with us!
[excited chatter]
Nah. There's a hole.
[overlapped chatter]
Come on, Dad.
Okay!
- Let's do it. - [all cheer]
[door opens and closes]
[Cricket] Oh, wow, look at that.
A roller coaster.
[Tilly] So technically impressive.
[Bill] I've never seen such a big crowd before.
[Nancy] Oh, hey, guys, you made it.
-[Tilly & Cricket] Mom!-[Cricket] You were right, Mom.
- This place is hard to describe. - [Nancy] Told you.
[Bill] Kids, look, a celebrity.
[Tom Hanks] Hey, Green family.
It's me, Tom Hanks.
I'm about to go on an incredible adventure,
and I'd love to have you all come along with me.
- What do you say? - [all cheer]
♪ I got sweat in my eyes
♪ Lost a bet and got bit By a hundred flies ♪
♪ I fell out A big old tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch And scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by a dog
♪ Licked by a frog
♪ Got a rash on my leg
♪ Dropped a dozen eggs
♪ I got splinters At seven and ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪