[Cricket] So, grass, you dare to stand in my way?
[fighting grunts]
Ha ha! Success! I rule.
Aah! Street goblin!
Oh, wait, it's just an ugly dog.
[coughs]
Where'd you come from, buddy?
[whimpers]
Aw, you must be lost.
You don't live too far from here.
Better get ya home before Tilly tries to keep ya.
[Tilly] Oh, I sense an unfamiliar canine energy!
Come on, hurry! Let's go!
Hello! Hello, hello, hello!
Hello? Oh, my gosh!
You found my dog!
Sorry his face is all messed up,
but he was already like that when I got him,
I swear.
Oh, he's supposed to be like this.
[coughs]
Since my lost dog posters promised a reward...
- A reward? - Here ya go.
One hundred dollars, as promised.
[stammering]
- Thanks! Bye! - [stammers]
I didn't even know money could go that high!
Cricket Green has a hundred dollars!
♪ I got a hundred dollars! ♪
♪ Look at all my money! ♪
♪ Who's that guy on the bill? Nobody knows ♪
Get down from there!
Sorry.
♪ I got a hundred dollars! ♪
Psst! Hey, moneybags!
- Over here. - Huh?
Be careful waving your money around like that.
You might attract some shady characters.
Hey, thanks, mister! Name's Cricket Green, what's yours?
It's, uh... It's, uh... I'm John.
- Yeah, yeah, that's a name. - Yes, it is!
You know what's better than a hundred dollars?
Two hundred dollars.
Wow, that is better!
Gosh, now this one hundred dollar bill
just looks like junk.
Listen, you give me your hundred dollars,
I give you a product to sell.
- Product to sell? - Sell some product, double your money.
Hmm... "Skull Slimmers."
All right, let's see here...
[grunts] OK...
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Oh, it hurts!
That's how you know it's workin'!
OK. [grunts]
Do you really think I can sell these?
Listen, most people aren't as, uh, ya know,
street smart as you and me.
They're easy marks.
Just tell 'em whatever they wanna hear
and these will practically sell themselves.
I don't know... Isn't that kinda like lying?
Nah, that's just how business works.
So, what do ya say?
Double my money, huh?
- This picture's broken! - It's a puzzle, Gramma.
So now I'm supposed to do the picture-maker's job for him?
[Cricket] Attention, family!
Get on my good side now, because I'm about to be rich!
I present to you... Skull Slimmers!
These babies are gonna revolutionize heads!
Just, uh, put it on your head
and, uh, twist the spinny thingy.
Like this?
This product is subpar.
Subpar or not,
I'm gonna sell 'em for a big fat profit!
Seems a bit dishonest.
Tilly, you just don't understand how business works.
And you think you do?
Wake up, boy, ya been flimflammed!
- What's that now? - Bamboozled!
Hoodwinked! Scammed.
How dare you!
I'm Cricket Green!
I'm no patsy, I'm a pats-er!
I'ma sell so many of these Skull Slimmers,
I-I'll be able to buy a new Gramma!
Yeah! And a new sister!
And they'll appreciate my genius!
I always wanted a sister.
[Cricket] Citizens of Big City!
Are you tired of hats that don't fit?
Are you dissatisfied with the diameter of your dome?
Tiny heads are the hot new trend!
Don't be the last kid on the block
with a big ol' noggin!
Benny, I'm looking in your direction!
People are counting on you
to get their skulls ready for bikini season!
So... what do ya say?
Uh, no thanks. This is junk.
I don't appreciate you preying on my perceived insecurities.
There's no shortcuts to a slim head!
Only diet and exercise!
Aw, come on!
[Cricket] Ugh, I don't get it!
Why won't people buy this garbage?
John made it sound so simple...
Just tell 'em what they wanna hear
and they'll practically sell themselves.
Wait! Is that what I wanted to hear?
Am I the easy mark?
Aw, Gramma was right!
A hundred smackeroos right down the drain!
Sorry, Katelynn, I can't afford to go to the concert with you guys.
Have fun without me. [sighs]
Money problems are the worst.
Tell me about it! I just poured a bunch of money
into these Skull Slimmers.
The guy said they'd sell themselves!
Sell... themselves?
That's what the guy said.
He told me I'd double my money.
Whoa! Wait!
- Can I get in on this? - Uh, what now?
If I double my money I can go to that concert with my friends!
Wait, you want to buy my Skull Slimmers?
Yeah! How much for the whole box?
[clears throat] Well, since we're such good pals,
I'd be willin' to let them go for...
two hundred dollars?
Sold!
You really think I can double my money?
I did.
This puzzle's impossible! What's it even supposed to be?
It's a picture called "Starless Night."
Why would you pick that?
Oh, family!
Guess who's not a sucker after all?
I sold the whole lot!
Kiss my filthy bare feet! Owie!
Who on earth is dumb enough to buy that junk?
Why, if you must know, our dear friend Gloria
saw the true value of Skull Slimmers.
You scammed Gloria?
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
I simply offered her the same business opportunity
I enjoyed.
- Scam! - It's not a scam!
Gloria just has to find someone dumber than her to buy them!
But then what about that person?
[grunting] We don't even know them.
Well, be forewarned, Cricket.
The deceitful lifestyle is a dark and endless void.
Much like this puzzle!
Which we will now have to start over because of you.
Gah! At least let me do the edge pieces.
There are none!
Like outer space, this puzzle
is amorphous and without borders.
[sputters] Gah!
Listen, aren't you interested in
a thinner, lighter skull?
I just wanted a refill!
No, wait! A think skull is a healthy skull!
Hey, Gloria! How's the sales going?
Cricket Green!
What pack of lies did you sell me?
That's a heck of a way to say good morning to your li'l business buddy.
Nobody wants these stupid things.
You totally conned me!
Con is such a strong word.
I never said people didn't want any...
and you didn't ask if people did.
So in a way, didn't we con each other?
- [screaming] - [grunts]
Gloria, please, let's just talk this out!
[screaming]
Aah! Stay back, Gloria!
You know, if you put this kind of energy
into your sales pitch...
- [grunts] - [screams]
[grunts] Aah!
Come here, Cricket!
[screams]
Oh, man, Gloria's finally lost it!
[grunts]
Ahh, home free.
- [grunts] - Somebody save me!
- [grunting] - [screaming]
Huh?
Cricket Green, you come back here!
He probably deserves it.
Gloria, no, please! I'm your friend!
Enough! Cricket, just give me my money back and this all stops.
I spent it already! Gah!
What?
I may, or may not, have decided
to spend the money you gave me on this.
You spent all of my money on a wedding cake?
It's just the biggest cake I could buy.
I don't care if it's for a wedding.
Then what are those?
Well, excuse me if I wanted to feel special on my big day.
[grunts]
Cricket, that two hundred dollars
was from my rent fund.
If I don't make my money back, I won't be able to pay my rent!
Oh. Gee, I-I didn't know that.
Cake?
Ha.
[sighs]
I'm really sorry, Gloria.
I was just so desperate not to look like a fool
when I got flimflammed
that I ended up passin' my burden on to you.
Yeah, well, scamming someone else isn't the best way to get out of a scam, dummy.
[gasps] Or is it?
I think I know a way to get your money back.
But we'll need some help.
Ahh. Really brightens up the office.
- [Gloria] Hey! - [gasps]
Would you happen to be John?
Might bees, might beesn't.
I'm Gloria Hightower, executive VP of acquisitions for ThingieCorp Incorporated.
Heard you're the man to see about Skull Slimmers.
Well, you're in luck. I got tons of 'em!
Hmm... No, this isn't the model I'm looking for.
- The model? What do you mean? - Haven't you heard?
There's a new version of the Skull Slimmer
that makes you super smart.
If you had the new model,
I would have paid handsomely for them.
Someone's selling Skull Slimmers that make you smarter?
Boy, I sure was a real dumb-dumb before I bought my Skull Slimmer Plus!
I purchased mine with every dollar I had!
Ho!
Hey, kids, where'd you get those?
Why, from a young chap
down the alley on Grantham Avenue.
He bought it!
Yes, well, your acting has really improved.
Ooh. Huh? It's that kid.
Yes, young man. Here is my life savings for the Skull Slimmer.
[whispers] You owe me.
Kid, I gotta hand it to ya.
You were able to turn that junk I sold ya
into somethin' people actually want.
But now I'm gonna need those Skull Slimmers back
with whatever mods you made to them.
Here's your hundred bucks back.
Sorry, John. The price has gone up. [slurps]
Fine. Two hundred bucks.
Eh, nah. [slurps]
Let me save us both some time. What do ya say?
That's a lot of money.
- So we got a deal? - Absolutely.
Fantastic. Oops.
Whoopsie-daisy.
- Here ya go. - Thank you, sir.
Pleasure doin' business with ya!
What the...? Hey!
This is just a bunch of napkins!
- Pete never pays full price! - I thought your name was John!
Yeah, that's what I meant. John never pays full price!
- [laughs, gasps] - Stop right there!
Agent William Walker, Fraudulent Business Division.
-[gasps] -Just as I suspected. Skull Slimmers.
Somebody's been selling these all over town under false claims that they'll make you smarter.
He sold these to me! I'm the victim here!
- That true? - Gee, I'm just a kid, holdin' a bag of napkins.
Nothin' illegal about holdin' a bag of napkins, right, Officer?
Checks out. Hope you like jail!
Wait, wait, wait! If I get away, it's all yours.
In all my years on the job, I've never taken a bribe!
Always wanted to see what it's like.
Go on, get outta here.
You'll never see me again!
Nice work, "Agent Walker."
Finally, theater classes pay off!
Yeah! We flim-flammed the flim-flam man!
- Here. This is for you. - What?
But, Cricket, don't you want your share?
Nah, I feel bad for scamming ya, Gloria.
I even feel kinda bad for scamming John. Or Pete?
- Yeah, don't. - You're right. I don't.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go to a concert and pay my rent. Whoa!
Uh, do you guys have any more of those Skull Slimmers?
♪ I've got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit by a hundred flies ♪
♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch and scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by a dog ♪
♪ Bit by a frog ♪
♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪
♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters in seven and ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪♪