♪♪
[rhythmic whistling]
♪ One, two One, two, three, four ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
[chicken clucks]
- [Bill] How about this? - [Gramma] Keep.
- [Bill] Okay. This? - [Gramma] Keep.
- This? - Hm. Keep.
Ma, the point of spring cleaning is to get rid of stuff.
You haven't put a single thing in the trash pile.
Hey, I put something in the maybe pile.
I'm a maybe baby.
Cricket, you are loved and appreciated.
Face it, Ma, you're a pack rat.
The garage is full of your old junk.
Like, look at this. It's clearly trash.
Fifty years ago it was trash. Now it's an antique.
[Tilly] Look what I found.
I took the liberty of picking the lock.
I taught you well.
Ugh, what is this, a dirty rag?
[Gramma] To the untrained eye, maybe.
But this scarf is actually priceless.
And just how, exactly,
is a raggedy old piece of scarf priceless?
Because everything in this here trunk
is part of the greatest adventure of my life!
Can we hear about--?
It all started in an Egyptian tomb.
Legend had it that whoever stole the pharaoh's treasure
would be rich.
And I was the only one crazy enough to do it.
Or so I thought.
Of course, getting inside the pyramid was the easy part.
The hard part was the never-ending
barrage of booby traps.
- [snickers] Booby traps. - Listen up, boy!
This won't be easy.
But it's nothing Alice Green can't handle.
[panting]
[yells and laughs]
- Huh? - [roars]
[grunts]
I'm getting that treasure, and nothing's getting in my way.
Nothing.
[laughs]
You got be worth a fortune.
Uh-huh. Mm-hm.
Hm.
Huh?
Ah-ha.
[yelps]
Huh?
- [groans] - Need some help?
Who are you? A thief? A drifter? A thrifter?
Just a guy passing through. Here, let me give you a hand.
No, wait. Don't come closer.
Really, it's no trouble at all.
No, you idiot! Don't take another step!
Do what now?
- Real smooth. - [rumbling]
Great, now this whole place is coming down.
[gasps and pants]
Don't worry. I got you.
Hey!
Ah!
Later, sucker.
[grunts]
[Gramma] And so, I made it out alive.
Yeah!
But I had no treasure.
Aw.
[humming]
And that's how my passport got permanently revoked.
- Wow! - Whoa!
Wait, what?
Dang! Young Gramma went hard.
Yeah. I can't believe you entombed a man.
No, wait. Hm... yes, I can.
Hey.
No, Tilly, your gramma never entombed anyone.
None of that story is true.
Wrong. It's all true.
And that's just the beginning.
What? You mean there's more?
I wonder what other relics this memory chest contains.
First things first.
Just got to get this stuffing out of the way.
Huh? Aah!
Boy, the only stuffing here is in your head.
This newspaper is the next piece of the story.
- [both] What? - That's right.
Now, the next chapter of my story
takes place deep in the jungles of Mexico,
which I stealthily infiltrated in order to hunt down
the legendary chupacabra!
[thunder crashes]
A local village was offering a healthy bounty,
and I was there to collect.
I was hot on the beast's trail.
- The only problem was... - [twig snaps]
- Ah! - ...I wasn't alone.
You again? What are you doing here?
[laughs] Same as you.
[gasps and growls]
If you know what's good for you,
you'll turn around right now.
Oh, I will, after I collect what's mine.
Fella, you better stop following me or I'll--
[creature snarls]
[roaring]
The chupacabra.
- It's here. - Don't get in my way.
Don't get in my way.
- [creature snarls] - [gasps] What was that?
I said, don't... uh, fly away?
Shut up. Not you.
Something's out there.
Ah! No, no, no.
[roars]
[both scream]
Chupacabras fear the light.
Without it, we're as good as dead.
Can't believe I'm saying this, but stay close.
Come on. Come on.
Ugh!
Hurry, hurry.
Ha! Got it.
[roars]
[both scream]
[snarling]
Here. Take this newspaper.
You can light it on fire and-- Huh?
Ah, that works too.
[grunting]
I could use some help here.
Oh, right. Sorry.
[straining]
Whew. Nice work.
Say there, we make a pretty good team.
Huh. Yeah, I guess we do.
Put her there.
[Gramma] And so, the village was saved.
And against all odds,
my greatest rival became my closest friend.
- Yeah! Chupacabra! - Incredible.
Goodness, Gramma, that story was even crazier
than the last one.
And also completely false.
I feel like I'm slurping down goofy juice over here.
Ma, you've never even been to Mexico.
Have too, and I got the proof right here.
Huh? I don't understand--
- Oof! - You don't know me!
Don't worry, Gramma, we believe you.
Yeah. I'll believe anything if it's convenient.
The earth is flat, and you can't tell me otherwise.
Boy, I keep telling you, the earth is round.
If it were round,
people would be falling off the sides.
Ugh! We're not having this conversation again.
If the earth were flat, the oceans would drain.
No, they wouldn't, on account of the towering walls of ice.
Now that I think about it, Gramma, I do have one question.
Who was that strange man that kept showing up?
Ah-ha! Found it.
This right here is the last piece of the story.
Ooh, a box in a box. You old people are crazy.
Can your story at least be true this time?
As a matter of fact, this story begins on this very farm.
The farm? Now that's more like it.
I'm listening.
There I was, minding my own business...
[rooster crowing]
Ah, what a beautiful day.
Be a shame if it was obscured by some sort of big city.
Good thing that'll never happen.
[Gramma] Suddenly, there was a beep
coming from my super-cool spy watch that I lost.
Don't ask about it.
My partner was in trouble,
and I was being called
for the most important mission of my life.
[Bill] Of course you were.
Let me guess,
you had to go to some crazy underwater city.
[Gramma] Don't be ridiculous.
I mean, I was there at one point,
but this story takes place in an enemy laboratory
in the sky.
[grunts]
I had to get to my partner, and fast.
[liquid bubbling]
Intruder alert.
Prepare yourself to die.
- [punches landing] - [Gramma grunting]
Sorry I took so long.
Technical difficulties.
[gasps]
[muffled screams]
Oh, biscuits.
Alice, you shouldn't have come.
It's a trap.
This whole place is rigged to blow.
Then we'd better get a move on. Let's go.
Ah, you could've got yourself killed.
What were you even doing here?
Oh, just getting this.
[gasps]
Not bad.
But we can admire that later.
Let's get out of here.
[bomb beeping rapidly]
Wow! Wait, I'm lost.
Yeah, what was in the box?
Are we missing something?
Oh, now I get it.
This is the story of how you met Dad.
- [both] Grampa? - Yeah.
Although the facts are all wrong.
No way. It was all true.
- Hm? - Half true.
- Hm? - Fine.
Loosely inspired by true events.
Let me tell you how it really happened.
It all started when your gramma's car broke down
on the side of a dusty country road.
[grunts]
- [groans] - [vehicle approaches]
[truck door opens and closes]
Your grampa stopped and offered to help.
Need some help?
But your gramma had other ideas.
- [truck door closes] - [engine starts]
- Huh? - [engine revving]
Later, sucker.
What? Hey!
- [tires squeal] - [coughs]
A few weeks later, they met again
on the rainiest day of the summer.
Huh?
That's when Gramma realized it's nice to accept
somebody's help once in a while.
But that wasn't the last time
your grampa managed to surprise her.
Hm?
[gasps and chuckles]
[grunts and gasps]
He had fixed Gramma's car up so good,
it looked brand-new.
[gasps and laughs]
[Grampa] Ahem. Uh, Alice?
Your Grandpa didn't have enough money for a ring,
so he offered the most precious thing he had.
Your mother's pearls.
Alice, will you marry me?
Oh, my gosh, yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
But you're taking my last name.
Okay.
Come here, you.
Whoa!
All right, now slap them on me.
And that's the story of how Gramma and Grampa Green
fell in love.
[sighs]
Dad was a great guy, but he wasn't some swashbuckling hero.
Ha. He was to me.
Wow, Gramma,
you never told us Grampa had such cool stuff.
Oh, how dashing.
What else is in here?
[both laugh]
- Oh, dang, check this out. - Cricket! No!
[sighs]