[Announcer] Well, I don't believe my eyes!
Bengals star quarterback,
Russell "The Russ Bus" Remington
has just run out of the stadium!
That's right, Bob. But what in the world
could be more important than football?
- [nurse] Next. - [Russ grunting]
- [patient] Whoa! - [Russ grunting]
Oof! Hey, Russ Bus, big fan!
Where is he?
Where's my brand-new son?
Shh. He's resting.
Let's see the little punter.
Hey, Remy.
- [Remy coos] - Incredible!
All right, let's see what he's got!
Russ, he was just born!
Sweetie, I was throwin' a tight spiral
when I was 12 minutes old.
Okay, Remy, Daddy's open!
[giggles]
Oh.
[groans]
- [quarterback] Hut! - [players grunting]
[grunting continues]
Holy smokes, Remy!
I've never seen anyone
so good at a game before.
There's heat radiatin' off of ya!
It's from concentration. [grunts]
[game announcer] Touchdown, boy!
Ooh-wee! You're amazing at this game.
Not amazing enough. [grunts]
What's wrong, bud? Ya feelin' fussy?
No, I'm just under a lot of pressure.
You know how my dad was, like,
a super famous pro football player?
Uh, yeah.
For Pete's sake, we're playing
your dad's ding-dang game.
[sighs] I've tried for years
to impress my dad with my violin playing,
ballroom dancing, and puzzle-solving skills.
But the only thing he cares about is football.
But I have a plan!
You see, today, I'm enrolled at my dad's--
[grunts] annual... Oh, uh, the annual
- Lil' Bengals Football Camp! - [Cricket] A football camp?
I've been preparing for it by playing this game nonstop.
It's taught me so much about the sport.
Draw in the linebackers with a fake,
look off the safety,
hit the tight end on the post,
and... [grunts]
[game announcer] Touchdown, boy!
Great job, Champ!
I'm proud of ya!
- [whimpering] - Master Remy.
It's time to leave for camp.
Wish me luck, my friend.
I'll do ya one better and come along with ya.
- [Remy] Really? - You're my friend,
and you seem kind of emotionally fragile.
I've got your back!
[whistle blowing, players grunting]
[grunting continues]
Hey, Remy, this thing's pretty sturdy.
I am indestructible!
- [horn blows] - Welcome, campers, to...
[reading]
Now give it up for your host,
two time Ultra Bowl champion,
Russell The Russ Buss Remington!
Wow.
What do you think about Cricket and Remy
playing football in the home of the Big City Bengals?
[slurps] It's pretty neat.
[Gramma] It's not neat!
The Greens are Roosters fans!
I can't believe y'all dragged me
into enemy territory!
Roosters rule! Bengals stink!
Y'all are a bunch of trash bags!
Ma, be civil. Your grandson is down there.
- My former grandson. - Now listen up, kids!
You're here to learn, and have a good time,
but also to compete for my approval.
At day's end, I will select
the most worthy footballer among you
as most valuable player-- Camp MVP!
Biggy the Bengal, bring out the goods!
[Tilly gasps]
Now, that's a big kitty!
[Russell] Camp MVP will receive
Russ Bus merchandise,
an autographed copy of "End Zone Rush,"
and most valuable of all,
my respect and eternal admiration.
- [kids] Whoa! - [Remy] That's all I've ever wanted!
Remy?! What are you doing here?
Hey, Dad, I'm here to play.
I like football!
It's true. He's a regular football freak.
Well, block my linebackers.
I thought this day would never come!
But don't expect special treatment
- just because you're my son. - Bring it on!
Hi! I couldn't help but notice
that you are a gigantic feline.
- [Biggy] Mm-hmm. - I have come to offer you affection.
- Oh... Whoa! - Come here, now.
[indistinct humming]
Peculiar. It seems this feline
has never felt the joy of a good head pat.
I must enlighten him.
After all, when Tilly sets her mind
to petting a kitty cat,
she's gonna pet that kitty cat.
[Russell] Now, if you wanna win MVP,
you gotta learn some basic drills.
Watch and learn! [Russell grunting]
Ooh, ahh!
Waah-bam!
Ha-ha! Still got it.
With all that video game has taught you,
this should be a piece of cake.
Green, you're up. Let's see what you got.
[Cricket] Time to tote the big brown bean.
Don't call it that.
- Go, Cricket! - Traitor!
Touchdown!
[exclaiming, laughing]
[screaming gibberish]
[munching] Hmm?
How'd I do, Coach?
You're fast and agile,
but have no brains whatsoever.
Tough but fair. Your turn, Remy!
Show your old man what you can do.
Okay, Remy, just like in the video game.
Here we go!
Aah! [grunts] Whoa! [grunts]
A little rusty, but no worries.
- [Remy exclaiming] - Still feelin' it out.
- [Remy grunting] - Okay, come on, Remy.
Enough foolin' around!
[Remy screaming, crying]
- [Remy exclaiming] - [Russell sighs]
What the heck happened out there?
I don't know! It's like my brain knows what to do,
but my doughy little body just can't do it.
- Coming here was a mistake. - It's a dang shame!
You'd be unstoppable if only we could put
your brainful brains in my brainless body.
[gasps] I know exactly what we'll do!
- Well, y-you do? - I... do!
[Tilly] All right, big kitty.
Let's see if you can resist
the tuneful tune of tuna.
[humming] Huh?
I just wanna give you love!
[Biggy screaming]
[whistle blows] All right, next up, the scrimmage.
It's your best chance to impress me and win MVP.
So don't mess, uh... What the-- Remy?
[chuckles] Guess I'm big now.
Whoa, Remy got tall.
Yeah, weirdly tall.
[chuckles] Well, puberty hit me all at once, too.
Let's see what you can do with it.
Cricket, are you sure this is going to work?
I'm 100% confident this plan is flawless.
- [whistle blows] - [Russell] All right!
Line up and play ball!
Now, remember, I'm the brains...
And I'm the skittery little body.
[Remy] Blue 18, set, hike!
[players grunting]
- Cricket, run! - Okay!
Whoa!
[Remy screaming]
What in the football world?
Turn, turn! Not out of bounds!
Hard cut right! Spin move!
Juke left! And stop!
[Russell] I can't believe it!
He scored a touchdown!
- Hike! Throw left! - [players grunting]
[both grunting]
Ha-ha! Yeah!
Stiff arm, nine o'clock!
- [kid groans] - [Bill] Whoo!
- [whimpering, screams] - Come here, you!
[panting]
You're dominating out there!
I think I found my MVP!
Body, wait! What'd you say, Dad?
- [all grunt] - [Remy groans]
[slow motion] Son!
[Biggy grunts] What? No!
[Remy groans]
[gags] I think I'm gonna be sick.
Uh... Ow, my legs.
Uh, ow, I'm legs.
Jumpin' Georgia pass, I can't believe it!
I can't either.
- A deceiver! - [Biggy] Ugh!
I'm very disappointed, Remy.
And to think I was gonna name you MVP.
Well, you've got some learnin' to do, Mr. Remington.
Remy may not have all the moves for this field,
but he's the best digital quarterback
this side of wherever.
Better than you, I bet!
Uh, Cricket, what are you doing?
No one's gonna be better than me
at my own video game.
You really think you can take me on, son?
Uh...
Wink.
Yes. Yes, I do?
[chuckling] All right, then!
Game on!
Oh, corduroy, Cricket.
If I lose, my dad will never be proud of me.
Stay cool, man. This is what you've been training for.
You've got this. You're a genius.
- [Remy] Okay! - We're both geniuses.
-[Bill] Whoo! Let's go, Remy! -[Tilly] Whoo! Yeah!
- Yeah, you can do it! - Yeah, go, Remy!
- [Cricket] Let's do it! - I hope you both lose.
Go, Roosters!
Just so you know, I'm not goin' easy on--
- [Remy grunts] - [game whistle blows]
[game announcer] Touchdown, boy!
Whoa, how did you do that?
Dad, I play the game on super hard mode.
Well, son, buckle up cause I'm puttin'
this bus into high gear.
[chuckles] Bring it on.
[players grunting, panting]
Ha-ha!
[player grunting]
[both grunt]
- [whistle blows] - [players grunting]
Excuse me, Papa. I don't understand
what's happening at all.
Well, sweetie, it's close.
It's the fourth quarter,
and they're neck and neck.
Follow-up question:
Is Remy okay?
- [Remy groaning] - [Cricket] Oh, no.
He's concentrating too hard again.
I can feel the heat from here.
Hey, you okay, buddy?
I'm just...
...running hot. [sighs]
[Cricket] Remy!
Okay, Remy, Daddy's open!
[giggling]
[sighs] Disappointed in my own baby.
[babbling]
I am no baby!
I am a man!
Oof!
Respect me!
Football! What happened?
Remy, hurry! Your dad's about to win!
Get back in the game!
[grunting]
Here comes my winning touchdown!
Think again, maybe!
[all grunting]
[Russell player groaning]
[Russell] Huh?
[game announcer] Touchdown, boy!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
[game crowd cheering]
Ah...
Great job, Champ! I'm--
Huh?
Remy, I don't understand.
How did you beat me at my own game?
You don't even like football.
- I love football! - [Russell] Remy.
Why did you come here today?
Well, I... I wanted to get good at football
- so you'd be impressed. - [Russell] What?
There are other ways to impress me than football.
- Dad. - Maybe you're right.
Remy, I owe you an apology.
Football is my life,
but it shouldn't have to be yours
if you want my attention.
You're incredible on the violin.
You ballroom dance like an angel.
And you're much better than I ever was at solving puzzles.
Beatin' me at this video game doesn't impress me.
You impress me. Now, I got something
I should've told you a long time ago.
Oh, my gosh!
[clears throat]
Great job, Champ! I'm proud of you.
Holy cow!
Thanks, Dad.
- [Cricket whimpering] - Cricket, are you crying?
No! [sobbing]
It's so beautiful!
♪ I've got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit by 100 flies ♪
♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch and scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by a dog ♪
♪ Bit by a frog ♪
♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪
♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters at seven and ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪♪