1
00:00:00,750 --> 00:00:02,333
[theme song plays]
2
00:00:13,667 --> 00:00:15,250
♪ One, two
One, two, three, four ♪
3
00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:17,667
[vocalizing]
4
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[chicken clucks]
5
00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:34,542
See the trick is to buy Halloween
costumes in the off-season.
6
00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:36,959
That's three Halloweens
all for the price of one.
7
00:00:37,041 --> 00:00:39,709
Ha ha, Dad, you're so good
at saving money, it's scary.
8
00:00:39,792 --> 00:00:40,750
[chuckles] Boo!
9
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:43,667
I'm going to use these props
and costumes for my newest play:
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The Specter of Affection.
11
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,125
Sounds great. I love the theater.
12
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Who doesn't?
13
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The bright marquees.
14
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The happy theatergoers.
15
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The scalpers selling definitely
real tickets.
16
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All these people have been
moved to joy by they power of theater.
17
00:00:58,709 --> 00:01:01,375
-Yeah. Except those people.
-Hm?
18
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[man] Stupid standby line.
19
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:05,208
I'm so bored of waiting for the theater.
20
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If only someone could bring
the theater to us.
21
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Remy, start memorizing your lines.
22
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We are putting on a show.
23
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Ooh.
24
00:01:13,375 --> 00:01:15,083
You know, it's not often
we get errands done
25
00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:16,875
without going on a wacky adventure.
26
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-It's kind of nice to--
-Stop. Look.
27
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It's all my favorite superheroes.
28
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Dr. Robot. The Incredulous Bulk.
29
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America Rat.
30
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They're all here for realsies.
31
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We got to go meet them. Come on, Dad.
32
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Oh, right behind you, son.
33
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[scoffs] If I wanted to see a hero
wearing pantyhose,
34
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:32,834
I could just look in a mirror.
35
00:01:32,917 --> 00:01:33,917
[laughs]
36
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You're funny. Funny and mean.
37
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-You're my new co-host.
-Co-host for what?
38
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My show. I go around and talk
about stuff I hate.
39
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-Sounds awful.
-You're perfect.
40
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-Let's go.
-Ah!
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Remy, do you swear the performer's oath
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that we shall do whatever it takes
43
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to bring a smile to everyone's face?
44
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Oh, I'm not allowed to swear.
45
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-Just say yes.
-Yes.
46
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It was the summer of my debutante debut,
47
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and I, Honeybelle Sweet Tea,
was to be wed.
48
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But my father did not approve,
49
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as my beloved Buford was a ghost.
50
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Ooh!
51
00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:16,000
Oh, foul fortune. How could you--?
52
00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:18,375
-Boo!
-Hey, that's my line.
53
00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:20,417
Um, excuse me, why are you booing?
54
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,250
Ghosts are boring. I don't like it.
55
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If this kid doesn't like the play,
56
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we'll miss the opportunity
to bring him joy.
57
00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:27,583
What do we do, Tilly?
58
00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:30,583
Instead of a ghost, what would
you like to see, sir?
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00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:31,709
Airplane.
60
00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:33,875
So it would make you happy
61
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if the love interest was an airplane?
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-Yes.
-Well, you heard the man, Remy.
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The show must go on.
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[lips sputter]
65
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[chuckles]
66
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And we got it. Thanks for the photo.
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Yup. If you're ever looking
for a sidekick,
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you know how to contact me.
69
00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:51,667
Oh, uh...
70
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,792
Well, we'll keep you in mind.
71
00:02:53,875 --> 00:02:55,125
-[voices giggling]
-Huh? Oh, no.
72
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-What's wrong?
-It's them.
73
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[laughter]
74
00:02:58,792 --> 00:03:01,500
-Who are those guys?
-Our mortal enemies!
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[feet crashing]
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[laughter]
77
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Croblins!
78
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-Run!
-[all scream]
79
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-Aw.
-What?
80
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[Tuck] Welcome back to
I Hate It.
81
00:03:14,959 --> 00:03:16,125
I'm here with Alice,
82
00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:18,083
and she's going to tell us how it is.
83
00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:20,041
-Fire hydrants?
-City pimples.
84
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,125
-Pigeons?
-Trash parrots.
85
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Evan the camera guy.
86
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Sweaty and desperate.
87
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Hey!
88
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-Correct.
-Yes!
89
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Three for three.
90
00:03:29,625 --> 00:03:31,083
Now come on, let's keep moving.
91
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:33,375
There's a whole city of stuff to hate.
92
00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:35,625
-Oh, yeah! Evan, move it!
-[sighs]
93
00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:38,083
I knew I shouldn't have worn
this turtleneck.
94
00:03:38,166 --> 00:03:40,166
Oh, providence divine.
95
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,834
They said that love between a woman
96
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and a mid-size commercial
airliner cannot be.
97
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And so we must...
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fly away together.
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-[lips sputtering]
-Huh?
100
00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:53,417
[yawns]
101
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The changes to the play aren't working.
102
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The audience is still bored.
103
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What are we going to do?
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We are going to stick to our oath
105
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and make sure our play
brings everyone joy.
106
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-Whoa!
-And now for a brief intermission.
107
00:04:05,542 --> 00:04:06,625
Ah!
108
00:04:06,709 --> 00:04:09,041
Ugh, even looking at my watch
is getting boring.
109
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Excuse me, we're conducting a brief survey
110
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,542
about your theater experience so far.
111
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Anything different
you'd like to see in act two?
112
00:04:16,583 --> 00:04:18,500
Well, some singing might be nice.
113
00:04:18,583 --> 00:04:20,083
Okay. What else?
114
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-What about a sword fight?
-More wigs.
115
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The actors come into
the audience, and tickle them.
116
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-[boy 1] Rollerblades!
-[boy 2] Political intrigue!
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[overlapped shouting]
118
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Oh, what a wonderful photo.
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You have filled
my sweet round son with joy.
120
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Please take all mein deutsche marks.
121
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[cackling]
122
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Well, we had a good run.
123
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What the heck's going on?
Those Croblins stole your spot.
124
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Are you going to let them
get away with that?
125
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Yes, absolutely.
126
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They may look cute, but those Croblins
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are the true villains of Times Circle.
128
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They hog the best sidewalk.
129
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And keep all the tourists' tips
to themselves.
130
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Are you kidding?
They look totally harmless.
131
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Hey, you know what?
I'll go talk to them for you.
132
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What? No. It's too dangerous.
133
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Yeah! Go get 'em, Dad.
134
00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:03,834
Okay, so good so far.
135
00:05:03,917 --> 00:05:05,458
He's pointing back at us, and--
136
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Oh, they took his hat.
137
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,291
Oh, man, yeah, they're playing
keep-away with him.
138
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,875
Oh, Dad, no, that's what
they want you to do.
139
00:05:11,959 --> 00:05:13,959
And, yup, they tabletopped him.
140
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It's just plain rude.
141
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All right, enough messing around.
142
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You three are superheroes.
You can take those guys easy.
143
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:23,000
Kid, you know we're not
actually superheroes, right?
144
00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:25,041
Oh. Oh, no.
145
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,125
My dude, really?
146
00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:28,792
These are just costumes, dawg.
You knew that, right?
147
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You know superheroes aren't real, right?
148
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,625
My guy? For serious?
149
00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:34,875
My man out here thinking movies is real?
150
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:35,875
Are you crying?
151
00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:38,208
No! Whatever! Who cares?
152
00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:41,250
What's important is that even
if you're not real superheroes,
153
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:43,166
you can still stand up for yourselves.
154
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,458
-Yeah, but we don't want to.
-Fine.
155
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If you three won't be superheroes,
then I will.
156
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:50,667
Okay, Remy.
157
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:51,917
We've surveyed the audience
158
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,041
and now know exactly what they want.
159
00:05:54,125 --> 00:05:56,583
Um, you made a lot of changes
to the script.
160
00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:58,041
Are you sure it all makes sense?
161
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,583
I am sure it will bring them joy.
162
00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:02,875
Now get changed and get out there.
163
00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:06,583
Hey, everybody, I'm Hot Doug.
164
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,458
And I'd like you all
to meet my beautiful son,
165
00:06:09,542 --> 00:06:11,291
Douglas, Jr.
166
00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:13,500
I'm daddy's little bratwurst.
167
00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:16,333
Let's get it... Dijon.
168
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,750
Oh!
169
00:06:17,834 --> 00:06:19,250
[Tilly] Not so fast.
170
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,291
[muttering]
171
00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:23,417
I am a kitty cat.
172
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Prepare to die.
173
00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:26,417
Hm?
174
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,166
No one's smiling?
175
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:29,667
How is that possible?
176
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:30,667
Excuse me.
177
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,709
[muttering]
178
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,458
I don't get it.
179
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:36,125
Why aren't you enjoying the play?
180
00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:39,208
I don't really understand
what's happening.
181
00:06:39,291 --> 00:06:41,375
Yeah, it's kind of all over the place.
182
00:06:41,458 --> 00:06:44,125
It's a train wreck. And not the good kind.
183
00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:46,125
Sorry for wasting your time.
184
00:06:46,208 --> 00:06:48,250
[mutters]
185
00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:50,458
-Mm.
-Pack it up, Remy.
186
00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:51,834
-Play's over.
-What?
187
00:06:51,917 --> 00:06:54,375
-But what about the finale?
-Forget it.
188
00:06:54,458 --> 00:06:56,583
I gave them everything
they said they wanted,
189
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:59,083
and I still couldn't make anyone happy.
190
00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:01,917
All I've done is make myself
reverse-happy.
191
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,208
You mean sad?
192
00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:05,417
You always have the right words, Remy.
193
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,125
[grunts]
194
00:07:09,208 --> 00:07:10,792
-[laughing]
-Hang on, Dad.
195
00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:12,208
A hero has arisen.
196
00:07:12,291 --> 00:07:13,375
[imitates air whooshing]
197
00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:16,792
Don't worry.
You're going to a better place.
198
00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:18,875
-Hand me the rest, Remy.
-[imitating air whooshing]
199
00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:22,208
Whoa! That superhero looked
a lot like Cricket.
200
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,959
Oh, great, what are you up to now, kid?
201
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:28,041
I'm here to help you vanquish
those villainous Croblins.
202
00:07:28,125 --> 00:07:30,750
We already told you,
we're not real heroes.
203
00:07:30,834 --> 00:07:32,500
Yeah, you cried about it, remember?
204
00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,083
Lots of stuff happened, okay?
205
00:07:34,166 --> 00:07:37,083
Listen, it doesn't matter
if you're real heroes or not.
206
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,333
I believe in you.
207
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,667
So now all you've got to do
is believe in yourself
208
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:42,750
and do what you think is right.
209
00:07:42,834 --> 00:07:44,917
Do what I think is right?
210
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,750
I was so focused on what
other people thought,
211
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,000
I stopped believing in myself.
212
00:07:50,083 --> 00:07:52,125
Remy, we are putting on a show.
213
00:07:52,208 --> 00:07:53,458
The original version.
214
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:55,792
-No changes this time.
-[gasps]
215
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,458
So, what do y'all say?
216
00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:59,792
I say you've got a point.
217
00:07:59,875 --> 00:08:01,625
This is America.
218
00:08:01,709 --> 00:08:04,000
Everyone should have an equal opportunity
219
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:06,000
to swindle money from tourists.
220
00:08:06,083 --> 00:08:09,208
-Well, that's not--
-So let's go get those Croblins!
221
00:08:09,291 --> 00:08:11,250
-[both] Yeah!
-There you go.
222
00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:14,875
-Huh?
-Showtime.
223
00:08:14,959 --> 00:08:17,542
-[Croblins laughing]
-[groaning]
224
00:08:17,625 --> 00:08:18,959
[Cricket] Hey, Croblins.
225
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:22,709
Your days of ruling the sidewalk
and harassing adult men are over.
226
00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:24,709
Oh, yeah? What are you
going to do about it?
227
00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:27,792
Sidewalk superheroes charge!
228
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,417
Father, how could you be so cruel?
229
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:34,458
Buford may be dead,
but he makes me feel so alive.
230
00:08:34,542 --> 00:08:36,333
[both grunting]
231
00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:40,166
[yelling]
232
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:43,500
[Tilly] I'd like to see you marry
my daughter behind bars.
233
00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:45,500
Ooh!
234
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:47,000
Father, you fool.
235
00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,417
He is intangible.
236
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,083
-Please let me go.
-[Croblin cackling]
237
00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:51,917
Bulk snatch!
238
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,500
Ew, why are you wet?
239
00:08:53,542 --> 00:08:54,917
Ew, ew, gross!
240
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,083
I'm free!
241
00:08:56,166 --> 00:08:57,750
Perhaps your father is right.
242
00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,875
Woman and ghost can't be together.
243
00:08:59,959 --> 00:09:00,959
That's just the thing.
244
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,750
For I was a ghost all along!
245
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,333
Wh-Wh-What?
246
00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:07,750
Honey Belle, why didn't you
tell me sooner?
247
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:09,500
For tension.
248
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,959
And they died happily ever after, the end.
249
00:09:12,041 --> 00:09:13,583
[yawns]
250
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:15,208
Wow, what a rush.
251
00:09:15,291 --> 00:09:16,834
Remy, you were great.
252
00:09:16,917 --> 00:09:19,500
I-I was just riding off the energy
you brought to the scene.
253
00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:21,834
Though it doesn't seem like
anyone actually liked it.
254
00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:23,583
It's impossible to please everyone.
255
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:25,625
But as long as you like what you make,
256
00:09:25,709 --> 00:09:27,000
that's all that matters.
257
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,792
Hey, everyone, the line's moving.
258
00:09:28,875 --> 00:09:29,917
[all chatter]
259
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,625
I see a lot of theater,
260
00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:35,750
and I must say this play
was a delightful avant-garde aperitif.
261
00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:38,583
I was going to give these roses
to the star of today's show,
262
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:40,917
but I want to give them to you instead.
263
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,834
I no longer crave your validation,
264
00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:44,500
but I do appreciate it.
265
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:47,083
Oh, okay, I'll just keep these then.
266
00:09:47,166 --> 00:09:48,000
Gimme.
267
00:09:48,083 --> 00:09:49,667
[all grunt and groan]
268
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:50,834
It's over, losers.
269
00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:53,166
You go back to that garbage,
where you belong.
270
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,417
It ain't over yet.
271
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:57,083
I still have one more trick up my sleeve.
272
00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:01,458
[chanting in foreign tongue]
273
00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:10,875
I've heard of war and peace,
but this is war and please make it stop.
274
00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:12,291
Am I right, Alice?
275
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:13,750
You'd better muzzle your grill
276
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,250
if you know what's good for you.
277
00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:19,041
I hate plenty of things,
but my family ain't one of them.
278
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:20,417
I'm out!
279
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,166
My only friend, gone.
280
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,375
[grunting]
281
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,375
Guys, now, while they're distracted.
282
00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:29,375
-Huh?
-[grunting]
283
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:31,709
America Rat!
284
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:34,125
[all moaning]
285
00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,291
Oh, my gosh.
286
00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:36,875
They're just a couple of teenagers.
287
00:10:36,959 --> 00:10:38,625
And one old man?
288
00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:40,333
And I would've gotten away with it
289
00:10:40,417 --> 00:10:42,250
if it weren't for that meddling kid.
290
00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:44,542
Come on, Dustin. Come on, Chance.
291
00:10:44,625 --> 00:10:45,834
Let's get out of here.
292
00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:48,000
[all grunt]
293
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,834
[yelling]
294
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,250
We did it, everyone.
295
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:52,750
The block is ours.
296
00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:54,208
Wow, hey, look at these superheroes.
297
00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:55,959
-Can we get a picture?
-Line up, everyone.
298
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:58,625
Kid Cricket takes cash or card.
299
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:01,083
-Don't even think about it.
-Respect.
300
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:05,667
[humming]
301
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:08,417
All done with the card, Cricket.
Did you get the flowers?
302
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,083
[grunting]
303
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:11,333
Got them right here, Tilly.
304
00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:14,083
Can you believe there are people out there
who buy flowers?
305
00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:16,375
They grow everywhere for free.
Just take them.
306
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,583
Now remember, we've got to be extra sweet
307
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:20,333
when Gramma gets home from the doctor.
308
00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:22,667
Papa's bringing her back
from cataract surgery,
309
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,375
so it's our duty as grandchildren
310
00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:26,792
to be extra loving in her time of need.
311
00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:28,041
Cat-attack surgery?
312
00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:30,709
Guess you can be pushed
too far, huh, Dirtbag?
313
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:31,667
Meow?
314
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:32,667
No, Cricket.
315
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,041
She had a small operation
to fix her eyesight.
316
00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:37,667
She probably won't be
her same spunky self,
317
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:40,917
so don't be alarmed
if she looks weak and fragile.
318
00:11:40,959 --> 00:11:43,625
Hyah! Who keeps moving
the doorknob around?
319
00:11:43,709 --> 00:11:46,083
Is this one of your pranks, Cricket?
320
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,959
-Uh, over here, Gramma.
-Don't patronize me, boy.
321
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,875
Now, Ma, for the last time,
until the bandages come off,
322
00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:53,917
you won't be able to see for awhile.
323
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,458
I don't need eyes to see.
324
00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:57,583
And I've got stuff to do today.
325
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:58,583
Stuff?
326
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:00,458
Can't whatever you want to do wait?
327
00:12:00,542 --> 00:12:02,583
It most certainly cannot.
328
00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:04,625
And just because my eyes
are under the weather
329
00:12:04,709 --> 00:12:08,250
doesn't mean I can't do
my normal Tuesday routine!
330
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:12,000
First, I'll pick up my favorite
newspaper, the Tuesday Gazette.
331
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,166
It's the only news
that caters to country folk
332
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,166
who ain't into any phooey.
333
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,500
[spitting]
334
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,500
After that, I'll head over
to Greasy Gus's Burger Stand.
335
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,625
They've been selling
the best burgers in Big City
336
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,792
since it was still called Big Country.
337
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,083
[all spit]
338
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:28,125
I've done this every Tuesday for years,
339
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:30,166
and nothing has ever stopped me.
340
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,792
That can't be true.
I was born on a Tuesday,
341
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,959
so you must've missed going
at least once, right, Ma?
342
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:36,875
Ma?
343
00:12:36,959 --> 00:12:38,166
[moaning]
344
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,667
-[popping sound]
-[baby cries]
345
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,458
Whew. Welcome to life.
346
00:12:41,542 --> 00:12:43,083
[chomping]
347
00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:45,417
I didn't want to know that.
348
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,250
Now I've got my cane and my purse,
349
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,375
and no one's going to stop me
from leaving.
350
00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:52,083
Being a purse. This is my purpose now.
351
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:53,458
Now let's see.
352
00:12:53,542 --> 00:12:55,834
Just got to find the front door.
353
00:12:55,917 --> 00:12:58,208
Oh, for Pete's sake,
if it's so important to you,
354
00:12:58,291 --> 00:12:59,667
I can get your paper and burger.
355
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,500
Do I look like I need anyone's help?
356
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:06,500
Of course you don't.
But think of this as a day off.
357
00:13:06,583 --> 00:13:07,959
You get to sit back and relax,
358
00:13:08,041 --> 00:13:10,083
while we get to take care
of everything for you.
359
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:12,125
Hm. All right, Bill.
360
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,834
Just this once.
361
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,917
Really? Oh, that's a relief.
362
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,959
Here's the address for the burger stand.
363
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:19,542
Now if you'll excuse me,
364
00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:22,208
I think I'll head to my room
and rest for awhile.
365
00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:24,000
Okay, you know she's up
to something, right?
366
00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:25,834
[sighs] Yeah, I know.
367
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:27,709
Just hold down the fort while I'm gone.
368
00:13:27,792 --> 00:13:30,583
Make sure Gramma doesn't get up
to any Gramma stuff.
369
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,625
Papa don't leave us alone with her.
370
00:13:32,709 --> 00:13:34,083
Now, it's not going to be that bad.
371
00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:36,291
I'll be right back before you know it.
372
00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:39,083
You might want to barricade the door,
just in case. Good luck, kids.
373
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:40,583
-[door closes]
-[loud crash]
374
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,250
Gramma?
375
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:46,250
[Tilly] Is everything okay?
376
00:13:46,333 --> 00:13:47,709
Hm. Where'd she go?
377
00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,250
-[loud crash]
-Look!
378
00:13:50,291 --> 00:13:51,750
Gramma? Ah!
379
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:53,750
Gramma, you almost sliced my head off.
380
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:57,208
Then you keep your head
out of my escape route!
381
00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:58,875
Gramma, I'm over here.
382
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:01,125
-Oh.
-Just let us take care of you.
383
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:04,959
We can all relax until Papa gets back
with your burger and newspaper.
384
00:14:05,041 --> 00:14:06,583
He ain't getting no burger.
385
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:08,792
I gave him a fake address.
386
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:10,041
Why would you do that?
387
00:14:10,125 --> 00:14:15,208
Because he insisted I needed to recover
like some frail old softy.
388
00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:17,291
But you do need to recover.
389
00:14:17,375 --> 00:14:21,166
What I need to do is my Tuesday routine!
390
00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:23,834
Hyah! Tactical roll.
391
00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:26,166
Oh, my gosh. She's loose.
392
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,750
Okay, got the newspaper.
393
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,333
Just got to find that burger joint.
394
00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:33,834
According to the address
Ma gave me, it should be right... here?
395
00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:36,834
Who knew Ma went in
for trendy places like this?
396
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,959
Let's take a gander here. Hm.
397
00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:40,208
Cube BRGR.
398
00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:42,583
The Make-Believe-A-BRGR.
399
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,125
Is this really a burger place?
400
00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:46,875
Welcome to BRGR. May I take your order?
401
00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:49,792
Can I get a... normal burger?
402
00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:51,125
-[all gasp]
-Sir!
403
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:53,417
There are no "normals" here.
404
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,125
Burgers come in all shapes and sizes.
405
00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:57,917
-Every one is unique.
-Oh, boy.
406
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,333
Okay, which way do you think she went?
407
00:14:59,417 --> 00:15:01,125
[tires squeal, loud crash]
408
00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:04,166
My Cricket senses tell me,
probably this way.
409
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,166
-[indistinct chattering]
-[man] She came out of nowhere.
410
00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:08,875
-[groaning]
-Hey, pal, are you blind?
411
00:15:08,959 --> 00:15:10,667
Watch where you're going.
412
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:12,667
Look what she just did.
We got to stop her.
413
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:13,834
Hold on, brother.
414
00:15:13,917 --> 00:15:15,375
What if we don't stop her?
415
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:18,083
What if we help her?
416
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:20,625
She's too prideful.
She'd never let us help her.
417
00:15:20,709 --> 00:15:23,875
Then we'll have to do it
without her knowing.
418
00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:26,834
I see what you're getting at.
Devilishly clever.
419
00:15:26,917 --> 00:15:28,583
[mumbling]
420
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,750
[man] Hey! Over here!
421
00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:35,208
[whimpering]
422
00:15:35,291 --> 00:15:36,333
Hm.
423
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:37,750
[grunting]
424
00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:42,208
Oh!
425
00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:44,333
[indistinct chattering]
426
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:47,083
Is this the latest edition
of the Tuesday Gazette?
427
00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:48,458
[all gasp]
428
00:15:48,542 --> 00:15:50,875
I always check out the funnies first.
429
00:15:50,959 --> 00:15:53,041
-What the...?
-[all scream]
430
00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:54,875
What kind of paper is this?
431
00:15:54,959 --> 00:15:57,041
-I'm talking to you, young man.
-[sobbing]
432
00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:58,792
[grunting]
433
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,083
Hello? I'd like to speak
to your manager, please.
434
00:16:02,166 --> 00:16:04,125
Huh? Oh, there it is.
435
00:16:04,208 --> 00:16:05,959
Time to get my burger on.
436
00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:08,917
[Tilly whimpering]
437
00:16:13,083 --> 00:16:14,750
-[both] Whew!
-We did it.
438
00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:17,625
Now we just got to get Gramma
back home, and we're done.
439
00:16:17,709 --> 00:16:20,208
Well, Greasy Gus, after all these years,
440
00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:23,208
you still make the greasiest
burger around.
441
00:16:23,291 --> 00:16:25,375
Hey, it's all I know.
442
00:16:25,458 --> 00:16:27,458
Would you believe the nerve of my family,
443
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:31,750
thinking I couldn't hack it on my own
just because of a little eye surgery?
444
00:16:31,834 --> 00:16:33,625
If they'd seen how well I've done today
445
00:16:33,709 --> 00:16:35,792
even without my sight,
446
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:38,166
they'd be eating those words!
447
00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:41,166
In fact, I think I could take on something
448
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,458
a little more exciting.
449
00:16:43,542 --> 00:16:45,000
More exciting?
450
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:46,500
[people muttering]
451
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:47,709
Come on!
452
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:50,083
Uh... uh...
453
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:51,875
Oh, gosh, this is the worst.
454
00:16:51,959 --> 00:16:53,583
Whoa, dude, your boots.
455
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:56,166
M-M-My boots? Are they offensive?
456
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:57,875
No, I love them.
457
00:16:57,959 --> 00:16:59,542
Those are original Deerharts boots.
458
00:16:59,625 --> 00:17:01,500
Oh, they are so vintage.
459
00:17:01,583 --> 00:17:03,208
Oh, you have a good eye.
460
00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:05,917
I've had these babies
for the last 20 years.
461
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,166
The weathered look is so killer.
462
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,875
Dude, also, you need to tell me
463
00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:12,375
where you got these
pre-distressed jeans from.
464
00:17:12,458 --> 00:17:13,458
Pre-distressed?
465
00:17:13,583 --> 00:17:15,291
Uh, not sure what you're talking about,
466
00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:18,041
but I wore all the holes you
see through hard work.
467
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:19,458
-[all gasp]
-What?
468
00:17:19,542 --> 00:17:21,625
[excited chatter]
469
00:17:21,709 --> 00:17:23,333
[chuckles] Gee.
470
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,625
[moaning softly]
471
00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:27,917
Oh, man, where's she going now?
472
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,500
-Oh, that's trash, Gramma.
-No, don't dig around in trash.
473
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,333
[grunts and laughs]
474
00:17:34,417 --> 00:17:35,458
What the...?
475
00:17:35,542 --> 00:17:36,750
Oof!
476
00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:38,709
What is this place?
477
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:42,875
[Cricket] It looks like some kind
of seedy hangout for old folks.
478
00:17:42,959 --> 00:17:44,417
Maybe she came in here by accident.
479
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:45,750
Nah, I don't think so.
480
00:17:45,834 --> 00:17:47,125
Guess who's back and ready
481
00:17:47,208 --> 00:17:49,625
for a high-stakes game of darts.
482
00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:51,083
[all] Alice!
483
00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:52,125
Dang it, Gramma.
484
00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:54,959
I'm here to take on the reigning champ.
485
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,792
-Huh?
-[woman] Is that so?
486
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:59,834
Even when you could see me,
you never could beat me at darts.
487
00:17:59,917 --> 00:18:02,458
Laugh it up, Gertie.
I'm going to make you regret
488
00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:05,625
ever crossing paths with Alice Green.
489
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:08,667
Uh, Alice, over here?
490
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:09,834
With Alice Green!
491
00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:12,834
Oh, no. How are we going
to help Gramma with this?
492
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,000
Alice, listen, you don't have your sight,
493
00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:16,542
you don't have any money.
494
00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:18,250
So, no, thanks.
495
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:20,250
I don't need my eyes to beat you.
496
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,000
And as for my money...
497
00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:22,959
[grunts]
498
00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:25,208
...feast your eyes on this.
499
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,667
-[both] Huh?
-[Gramma] It's limited edition.
500
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:29,250
Very valuable.
501
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:30,834
-[all] Aw!
-Ooh, I want that.
502
00:18:30,917 --> 00:18:33,458
That would complete my collection.
503
00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:35,542
Gertie, I'm so sure I can beat you
504
00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:38,959
that I'm willing to bet
this little darling on it.
505
00:18:39,041 --> 00:18:40,750
So, what do you say?
506
00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:43,166
Hm. Add him to the pot.
507
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,709
All right, here's the rules.
508
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,917
First to get three bull's-eyes
wins the pot.
509
00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:52,125
Gramma will never be able to do that.
510
00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:55,417
So, Alice, you're up.
511
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,000
And you take a knife and, well,
512
00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:58,750
just start cutting chunks of wood off.
513
00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:00,667
This is called "whittling."
514
00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:02,000
-Oh, gee!
-Cool.
515
00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:03,750
Bill Green, as a gift,
516
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:06,709
we've made a very special
burger just for you.
517
00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:08,792
We call it the Bill.
518
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:10,667
A plain and normal burger!
519
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,417
This is just what my ma needs.
520
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,542
See you around.
521
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:15,625
There goes Bill Green.
522
00:19:15,709 --> 00:19:18,291
What an absolute unit.
523
00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,333
Whenever you're ready, Alice.
524
00:19:20,417 --> 00:19:24,417
I wish I could see the look on your face
when I mop the floor with you.
525
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,333
Highly unlikely, Gramma.
526
00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:28,417
Get ready for a whupping. Hyah!
527
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,917
[all gasp]
528
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:34,083
-Incoming!
-[all growl]
529
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:36,750
He's gotten so big.
530
00:19:36,834 --> 00:19:37,667
[screams]
531
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,583
-Okay, she's doomed.
-Cricket, do something.
532
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:42,667
-Pretty good, huh?
-Loud distraction.
533
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,125
Loud distraction!
534
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:47,208
Cricket, what the heck is wrong with you?
535
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,333
Why'd you follow me to this seedy place?
536
00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:50,959
Tilly would never have done that.
537
00:19:51,041 --> 00:19:54,000
As much as I'd like to remain
in your good graces, Gramma,
538
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:55,041
I'm here, too.
539
00:19:55,125 --> 00:19:56,875
Are you kids spying on me?
540
00:19:56,959 --> 00:19:58,875
No, Gramma, we're here to help you.
541
00:19:58,959 --> 00:20:02,083
I've been doing
my whole routine no problem.
542
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:04,166
Gramma, you've been able
to do your routine
543
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:06,792
because we've been helping you
from the shadows.
544
00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:09,041
Bullpucky. I don't need any help.
545
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,875
Oh, really? Then hit the dartboard.
546
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,583
Let me show you how it's done.
547
00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:14,083
-[both scream]
-It's okay.
548
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:15,542
It's the fake one.
549
00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:17,208
No it's not, Gramma.
550
00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:18,875
Oh. Shoot.
551
00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:22,000
Okay, maybe it is true
you've been helping me all day.
552
00:20:22,083 --> 00:20:24,208
I always thought that as I got older,
553
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:27,792
I could just grit my way through it,
no matter the limitation.
554
00:20:27,875 --> 00:20:30,792
Maybe I'm just not
as invincible as I thought.
555
00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:32,959
Well, everybody needs help sometimes.
556
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:35,375
Yeah, even superheroes need sidekicks.
557
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:38,250
But that doesn't mean
you're not our Super Gramma.
558
00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:40,166
[Gertie] Ahem!
559
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:43,041
There's a matter of our little wager.
560
00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:44,917
Right, Gertie. Here's the deal.
561
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,041
Turns out my lucky streak
was actually a streak
562
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:49,166
of having wonderful grandkids.
563
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:51,834
So why don't we just call it a draw.
564
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,542
No way, you old broad.
565
00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:56,166
We agreed that best out of three
wins the pot.
566
00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:58,667
Well, in that case... yoink!
567
00:20:58,750 --> 00:20:59,875
Go, go, go, go!
568
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:02,125
-[bone cracks]
-Ah, my hip.
569
00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:04,750
[sighs]
570
00:21:04,834 --> 00:21:06,000
Here's your chamomile tea.
571
00:21:06,083 --> 00:21:08,291
And I made you a "you got well" card,
572
00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:10,125
since you won't be able
to read it until you're better.
573
00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:13,250
Thank you, Cricket.
I look forward to seeing it.
574
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:14,625
Hey, Ma, sorry I'm late,
575
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:16,291
but I got your paper and your burger.
576
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:18,291
Thanks, son, but I'm good.
577
00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:21,458
Why don't you go ahead
and enjoy that burger yourself?
578
00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:22,875
I don't mind if I do.
579
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:25,208
[chomps]
580
00:21:25,291 --> 00:21:28,333
This is just pure kale.
581
00:21:28,792 --> 00:21:32,208
Hipsters!
582
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:36,250
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
583
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:37,875
♪ Lost a bet and got bit ♪
584
00:21:37,959 --> 00:21:39,875
♪ By 100 flies ♪
585
00:21:39,959 --> 00:21:42,709
♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
586
00:21:42,792 --> 00:21:45,542
♪ Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪
587
00:21:45,625 --> 00:21:48,375
♪ I got chased by a dog ♪
588
00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:49,709
♪ Licked by a frog ♪
589
00:21:49,792 --> 00:21:51,208
♪ Got a rash on my leg ♪
590
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:54,041
♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
591
00:21:54,125 --> 00:21:56,875
♪ I got splinters At seven and ten ♪
592
00:21:56,959 --> 00:21:59,709
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪