1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,629
Wow! The third biggest sweater
in the Tri-State Area.

2
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,298
I'm glad I came out
to the country
to see something so cool.

3
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:10,093
Oh, thanks, kid.
My boots are pretty cool.

4
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,762
- Cha cha cha!
- [metal clanks]

5
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,931
I took 'em off some dope
in the graveyard.

6
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,724
Don't worry, he was dead.

7
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:21,145
No, Dad,
we were discussing Smalton's
new roadside attraction.

8
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:24,106
This dumb thing?
It's just a big sweater.

9
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,859
It's not just a big sweater,
Mr. Cricket's Grandpa.

10
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,486
It's also
a tourist attraction.

11
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,780
People love to see weird stuff
on the side of the road.

12
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,115
Like the tiny hill gazebo
made of doll heads.

13
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,700
[♪ eerie sound]

14
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,619
This ain't
a tourist destination.

15
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,955
This is boring, made big.

16
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,790
I'll tell you
what else is big.

17
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,834
The pile of cash Tilly and I
are about to make.

18
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,795
Hey, now you're speaking
my language.

19
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,880
Tell us about
your big scheme, Cricket.

20
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,216
Oh, this ain't a scheme.
It's even better!

21
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,094
We're going to sell
these T-shirts!

22
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,428
Ta-da!

23
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,056
"I thumbs up big sweaters"?

24
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,684
No, no. It says,
"I like big sweaters."

25
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:03,104
The design's so perfect,
we don't even need a scheme.

26
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:06,566
A legitimate business? [gags]

27
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:10,736
I can't stand it.
This shirt is dumb.
This big sweater is dumb.

28
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,613
And you're all dumb
for liking it.

29
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:15,241
If you need me,
I'll be in the cemetery,

30
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,158
[cloth ripping]

31
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,660
- [all gasp]
- Grandpa Nick!

32
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,495
- Save it. I'm outta here.
- [Cricket] No, no. Stop, stop.

33
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,998
- [male tourist] Wait!
- [female tourist] Hey!

34
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,124
[Grandpa Nick] Oops,
wrong way.

35
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,168
- [crowd clamoring]
- Stop! No!

36
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,795
Where'd that
big dumb sweater go?

37
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,214
[exclaims, grunts]

38
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,343
Nick Mulligan,
as Smalton's only cop,
lawyer, judge,

39
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,555
and vacuum repairman,
I find you guilty.

40
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,931
- [all] No!
- [crowd cheers]

41
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:42,476
- What?
- I sentence you
to reknit the big sweater.

42
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,145
Whoa, whoa, whoa, listen, pal.

43
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:46,856
I've gone my whole life
without doing
an honest day's work,

44
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,108
and I ain't gonna start now.

45
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,902
If you don't remake
the attraction,

46
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,987
I'll make you the attraction.

47
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,697
- [gasps]
- [♪ ominous music playing]

48
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,116
[woman] Ooh,
the world's biggest idiot.

49
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,826
- Let him have it, sweetie.
- [kid laughing]

50
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,870
[grunting] That all you got?

51
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,330
- [kid grunts]
- [screams]

52
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,332
[groans] Not watermelon.

53
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:07,001
This is crazy!
I don't know how to knit.

54
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,545
Ooh, Mr. Nick! [grunting]
I know how to... [grunts]

55
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:10,546
I know how to... [grunts]

56
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,881
[panting]

57
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,716
I know how to knit.

58
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,844
Not to brag, but I'm kind of
a knitting master,
so I can guide you.

59
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,471
What? No. [whispers] Shut up!

60
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,641
Fine. The sweet child
may guide the old fool.

61
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:22,892
Court adjourned.

62
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,144
- [groans]
- It'll be so fun to watch you

63
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,188
experience the joy
of knitting!

64
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,899
I'd have more fun
if you jam those
into my brain.

65
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,777
[giggles] That's not
what they're for.

66
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,529
Have a sit, it's time to knit.

67
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,073
Oh, boy.

68
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,367
Knitting is a beautiful way
to express yourself.

69
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,409
Just watch me.

70
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,745
Let's start
with a K1 P1 rib rectangle

71
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:46,707
that you can use for a collar
or a motivational message.

72
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,877
- Now, you try.
- [sarcastically] Oh, yeah.
Look at me.

73
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,796
I'm knitting like some stupid.

74
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,673
- [flesh squelches]
- [screams]

75
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:57,051
That's a good first attempt!
But, next time,
try not to bleed so much.

76
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,719
Now, follow my lead!

77
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,304
You can do it.
There's no doubt.

78
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,473
Just go in, round,
through, and out.

79
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:06,852
In, round, through, and...
[exclaims]

80
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:10,439
It's so stupid,
yet so beautiful!

81
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,525
There's nothing wrong
with going legit.

82
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,111
Grandpa Nick doesn't know
what he's talking about.

83
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,446
Well, it will be a challenge
to sell souvenirs

84
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,740
for an attraction
that no longer exists.

85
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,158
We don't need to sell them.

86
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,953
Patti will.
She hawks all kinds of stuff.

87
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,621
- She can sell our shirts.
- [door chime tinkles]

88
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,123
I can't sell your shirts.

89
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,958
What are you talking about?

90
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,293
These shirts are way better
than all this other
dumb stuff you sell.

91
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,213
"Smalton.
We're not in Kansas anymore.

92
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,174
But maybe one day
we will be again."

93
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:40,511
Makes more sense than
"I thumbs up big sweaters."

94
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,847
How many times do I--
It's not "thumbs up."

95
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,807
It's "I like big sweaters."

96
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,934
Since when are you
in the shirt business?

97
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,145
[gasps, giggles]

98
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:52,898
I get it.
This is one of your big
Cricket schemes.

99
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,276
It's not a scheme.
We're just selling shirts.

100
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,861
[laughs] Sure.

101
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,030
The rest of us
are all playing checkers,

102
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:01,032
while you're out here
playing chess.

103
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,992
[muttering]
What are you talking about?

104
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,410
[angrily] Stop confusing me!

105
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,830
Come on, Tilly.
Let's take
our product elsewhere.

106
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,623
- Unless...
- No.

107
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,083
[grunting]

108
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,545
[Grandpa Nick] Just go in,
round, through, and...

109
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,298
- And that's the whole
top row of the sweater.
- Huh.

110
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,259
I got this strange,
warm feeling inside of me,

111
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,595
like, the opposite
of indigestion.

112
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,889
Is this digestion?

113
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,100
That's the glorious
satisfaction
of trying your best.

114
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,811
Doesn't it feel amazing
to put real effort
into something?

115
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,438
- Boop.
- Ow.

116
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,649
Huh. If knitting some
dumb sweater
makes me feel this good,

117
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,819
imagine how amazing I'd feel
if what I knit wasn't dumb.

118
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:42,198
Well, I think as long
as it draws tourists,
the town will be happy.

119
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,325
Then, I'll pour my soul
into this,

120
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:46,994
and knit the least dumb thing
I can think of.

121
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,245
- Me!
- [fanfare]

122
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,997
Okay?

123
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,374
I'm telling ya,
this ain't a scheme!

124
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,336
I'm a legitimate businessman
with a great product!

125
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,838
We still haven't sold
a single T-shirt, brother.

126
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,757
Don't lose faith, Till.

127
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,427
- We just need someone
who doesn't overthink things.
- [man slurping]

128
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,721
[Cricket] Hey, Wayne.
Come here.

129
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,057
- Mmm?
- [Cricket] Yes, you.

130
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,812
You look like a man
who doesn't think too much.

131
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,230
Oh, thank you, Cricket.

132
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,899
So you want to buy
a cool shirt?

133
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,360
"I thumbs up big sweaters."

134
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,780
[grunts] What is wrong
with you people?
It's obvious--

135
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,532
It says,
"I like big sweaters."

136
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,660
If I like big sweaters,
why would I wear a T-shirt?

137
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:31,122
You can wear a big sweater
over the T-shirt.
There, problem solved.

138
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:36,001
But if the shirt is covered,
how will folks know
I like big sweaters?

139
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,712
You could tear a hole
in the middle,
so folks can read it.

140
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,756
I would never do that.

141
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,633
I love big sweaters too much.

142
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,261
[groans] Come on, Wayne,
just buy a T-shirt.

143
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,929
But they don't make sense.

144
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,849
They will,
once Grandpa finishes
repairing the giant sweater.

145
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,267
Then, I will buy a shirt.

146
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:54,019
- [both] Yay!
- After I check his progress.

147
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,521
[Cricket grunting]

148
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:59,275
And I'll use a daisy stitch
for the elbow.

149
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:03,195
Wow! The student has become
the slightly better student.

150
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,613
Hey, look, Wayne,
bet you want a souvenir shirt

151
00:06:05,614 --> 00:06:08,784
now that you've seen
Grandpa's glorious
giant sweater.

152
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,411
Sweater? I'm knitting me.

153
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:12,830
Knitting me, what?

154
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,373
Whatever it is,
I don't like it.

155
00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:17,001
Buy one. Please!

156
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,420
He doesn't like it?

157
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:22,797
I've been criticized before,
called every name in the book.

158
00:06:22,798 --> 00:06:26,135
Once, a lady spit in my face,
then ran me over
with her truck.

159
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,512
Then again
with a different truck.

160
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,432
So why does this feel
so much worse?

161
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,393
Hey, you gotta keep trying.
Don't let it get you down.

162
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:38,022
I won't let it get me down
because I quit!

163
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,190
Wait, come back!

164
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,484
Oh, right.

165
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,696
Come see the world's
biggest idiot here!

166
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,031
Not the watermelon.

167
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,325
- Not the watermelon!
- [squishes]

168
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,035
Care to buy a T-shirt, sir?

169
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,995
No? [sighs]

170
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,330
Have I lost it, Tilly?

171
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:57,082
Was this T-shirt idea
a complete misfire?

172
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,586
Well, perhaps we should forget
about what was put
on the shirt,

173
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:05,342
and instead, find someone
who needs to put a shirt on.

174
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,843
Trey!

175
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,511
[clears throat] Mr. Hicks.

176
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,806
- You've got a lot of skin.
- Looking for something
to put it in?

177
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:18,312
Nah. I prefer
the warmth of the sun
directly on my body.

178
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:22,441
[sighs] Sorry, brother,
if we can't sell a shirt
to the shirtless,

179
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,985
then your business idea
really is a bust.

180
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,988
There's my glistening, man.

181
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,782
Hold on, Till.

182
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:33,703
If going legit didn't work,
then it's time to do
what I do best.

183
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:35,955
Wow, Mrs. Hicks.

184
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,082
That Trey sure does
sweat a lot.

185
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,501
Oh, you bet he does.

186
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,919
[Mr. Hicks purrs]

187
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,506
Well, then, I guess
you could say
you like big sweaters.

188
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:48,342
- Right, Till?
- Oh. And why not
show the world

189
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:52,888
your affinity for your
husband's perspiration
with this nifty T-shirt?

190
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:55,265
Ooh, I love it, and I need it.

191
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,892
Would you care
to buy more than one?

192
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,394
Better snatch them up fast.

193
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:01,730
I see a lot of
big sweater admirers
out today.

194
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:05,067
It is so disgusting.
I can't look away.

195
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,194
Oh, I ain't letting them
come for my man.

196
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,612
Give me all them shirts.

197
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,240
- Great scheming, brother.
- Yeah!

198
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:14,034
I thumbs up, big schemes.

199
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,579
Now, back off.
Get your own sweaty man.

200
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,249
[gasping, coughing]

201
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,293
I really am
the world's biggest idiot.

202
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,670
But not because
I ruined the stupid sweater.

203
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,423
It's because
I was stupid enough to try.

204
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,383
I'm sorry,
but that is not true!

205
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,759
Trying is a good thing.

206
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,637
[groans] This roadside
attraction's awful.

207
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,557
Not nearly as good
as the doll head gazebo
in Tinyville.

208
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,850
Where's the love?

209
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,144
I can't believe
I drove six hours for this.

210
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:43,689
Excuse me, but why exactly
did you prefer the gazebo?

211
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,275
Well, an idiot in stocks
is a dime a dozen.

212
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:51,697
But building a creepy gazebo
that haunts my dreams
takes real effort.

213
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:55,659
See? People love things
like big sweaters
and doll head gazebos

214
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,536
because of the work
that went into them.

215
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:03,792
So if I pour everything
I've got into knitting
a big me, I can't fail.

216
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,962
- Yeah!
- I'll knit like I never
knitted before.

217
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,589
Yeah!

218
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,467
Then, late at night,
when my enemies
are fast asleep,

219
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:14,636
I'll sneak into their homes
with matches and zip ties...

220
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,639
- [exclaiming in horror]
- Oh, sorry. Too far.

221
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,309
- I'm gonna try my best.
- Yeah!

222
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:23,313
[♪ Bill Conti
"Gonna Fly Now" playing]

223
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,151
[grunting]

224
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,283
[grunting continues]

225
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,535
[slurps]

226
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:43,373
[exhales] It's done,
and it's perfect.

227
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:46,043
Exactly how we imagined it!
Sort of.

228
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,962
- [crowd exclaiming]
- [female tourist] Would you
look at that?

229
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:53,509
Welp, you did knit
a new roadside attraction,
and people are looking at it.

230
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,553
- You're free to go.
- [grunts]

231
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,680
- [Cricket] Wow.
- Oh, my, my, my.

232
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,391
[crowd clamoring]

233
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:04,478
Looks like all my hard work
really paid off.

234
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,021
Yeah, they love it!

235
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,690
- [male tourist laughs] I love
how awful it is.
- What?

236
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,818
Get a pic of me
with this stupid thing.

237
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,486
- [camera shutter clicking]
- [groaning]

238
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,321
I guess they love it
ironically.

239
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:17,991
Oh, well, the important thing
is that they're enjoying it,
right, Mr...

240
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,077
- [Grandpa Nick yelling]
- [male tourist grunts]

241
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,995
[Grandpa Nick] This
isn't dumb.

242
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,289
- [male tourist groaning]
- [Grandpa Nick] Anyone
who doesn't like it is dumb.

243
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,749
- [yelling] Help me!
- [screaming]

244
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,420
Well, at least
he's passionate about his art.

245
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,880
- Hey, I saw that.
- [screaming]

246
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:35,217
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

247
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:38,846
♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪

248
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:44,685
♪ I fell out a big ol' tree
Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪

249
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:48,856
♪ I got chased by dogs
Licked by a frog ♪

250
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,650
♪ Got a rash on my legs
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

251
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,821
♪ I got splinters
in seven of ten ♪

252
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,449
♪ And tomorrow,
I'll do it all again ♪