1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:03,628
End of the line, Lenny Lockpick!
2
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,005
Your gentleman thief days are over!
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,300
{\an8}Ha! You bumbling bobbies
will never take me alive!
4
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:10,885
Ta-ta, Constable!
5
00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:15,515
Lenny evades justice once more.
Also, I'm stealing this horse!
6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,726
Lenny... I'll see you behind bars yet!
7
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:22,188
- Tilly! Supper's on the table!
- Okay.
8
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,356
Come along, Saxon.
9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:27,693
{\an8}Time to gather around the table
with my kin and exchange tales of the day.
10
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:31,280
{\an8}I'd wager their stories
won't be as riveting as my daring escape.
11
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:34,408
{\an8}Now, now.
Dinner conversation is not a contest.
12
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,868
{\an8}It's about sharing.
13
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:39,038
Catching up is a precious part
of what keeps our family close.
14
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,623
So, how was your day, Papa?
15
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:44,293
Hold that thought, sweetie. I'm just gonna
put up one more tomato trellis.
16
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:47,505
Grandma, what's new in the life
of the Green matriarch?
17
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:52,343
Is this a city? I got a ticket
for jaywalking, and I ain't payin'!
18
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,637
Oh, that's what you think, huh?
19
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:58,975
No, I won't hold! The only thing
Alice Green holds is grudges!
20
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,977
Brother, come regale us
with a story of your...
21
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,061
Sorry, can't talk.
22
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,690
A roach is fighting a stink bug on the
porch, and I've got to see who wins.
23
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:09,902
Don't you do it!
24
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,364
Green family, halt!
25
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:17,660
That was our table conversation?
We shared nothing!
26
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,454
Come to think of it,
the last few dinners have been like this.
27
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,666
- What's going on?
- Well, life's just been busy lately.
28
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,750
Really busy.
29
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,169
Sorry, sweetie.
No, I ain't talking to you!
30
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,172
Okay, back to the table.
31
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,426
This is a problem.
We're barely aware of each other's lives.
32
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,304
More like strangers than family.
33
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,973
I must right this unacceptable wrong.
34
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:41,851
But how?
Your family is scattered to the winds,
35
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,395
too preoccupied
to even share at the table.
36
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:45,479
Om nom nom nom nom.
37
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,481
You're right.
To keep us all up to date,
38
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:51,444
I'd need some sort
of information-spreading device.
39
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:56,115
One that covers current events,
like a paper that carries news,
40
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,825
but nothing like that exists.
41
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:58,910
Oh, wait.
42
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:02,371
Extra! Extra!
43
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:05,207
Tilly, why are you yelling?
Also, what's this?
44
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:08,586
It's The Tilly Times.
Wrote with Papa's computer.
45
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:12,173
It's a publication devoted entirely
to the Green household.
46
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,967
{\an8}Hmm. Farmer installs trellises.
47
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,261
{\an8}Elderly woman
gets ticket dismissed.
48
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:21,057
{\an8}Local boy witnesses bug fight.
Would you look at that?
49
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:24,977
My picture's in the paper.
Yee, I'm famous!
50
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:29,315
Says here Alice Green made
four grown men cry over the phone.
51
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:33,235
Ah, knowing how to read finally pays off.
52
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:36,781
Our own little newspaper. How cute!
53
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,991
What gave you this idea, sweetie?
54
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,662
The mission of The Tilly Times
is to keep the Greens informed
55
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:46,875
on Green affairs in order
to inspire lively discussion.
56
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,168
Hmmm.
57
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,253
Well, back to work.
58
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,922
What was that?
59
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:56,133
Mmm, maybe these articles are too trivial.
60
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:59,428
We need more intimate stories
to help the family reconnect
61
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,264
and know each other on a new level.
62
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,186
Extra! Hot off the presses!
63
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,273
Ooh, it's another one
of Tilly's little papers.
64
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,112
Need a tissue, boy?
65
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:20,533
What's this now? A local boy cries
while watching Gabmore Girls?
66
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,035
What? That's not true.
67
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,662
I never... Wait, wait, wait.
68
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:28,458
You're making fun of me
when you're in your room doing this?
69
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:32,628
{\an8}Elderly woman baby talks tchotchkes.
70
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:37,216
Tchotchkes. Oh, hey, softies.
71
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,511
What are you smirking at? Page three.
72
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:43,640
{\an8}Udder chaos.
Farmer drinks milk straight from cow.
73
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,391
Where's Tilly?
74
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,351
There's Tilly.
75
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,813
Family, wonderful to see you all together.
76
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,816
Welcome to the press.
77
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,860
What's with all the chickens?
78
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,612
{\an8}They're my reporting staff.
79
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:06,871
Take another pass, Christine. They're
the eyes and ears of The Tilly Times.
80
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:11,417
Always in search of a scoop.
Are you all here for the next issue?
81
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,127
It's just about to go to print.
82
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:17,757
The tooth comes out?
Fogey freshens falsies in laundry?
83
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,176
Fogey!
84
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:23,095
Here's the problem, Tilly.
Your stories are making us look bad.
85
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,180
Yeah!
86
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,808
Oh, did I report something untrue
that I need to retract?
87
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:28,518
Well, no.
88
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,604
But can't you just,
like, make us look good?
89
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,314
I'm afraid that's out of my hands.
90
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:36,150
We at The Tilly Times strictly
report the truth.
91
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:39,487
I don't determine what goes in the paper.
You do.
92
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:42,698
Ah, we do. Hmmm.
93
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,492
I just want to set the record straight.
94
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:47,328
There's a lot of misconceptions floating
around about me.
95
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:51,333
Folks need to know that I'm a nice,
not-Gabmore Girls-watching guy.
96
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:58,005
Well, hello there, Tilly.
Fancy meeting you here.
97
00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,548
You told me to meet you here.
98
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:03,844
I'm just taking out the trash,
even though it's not my day to do so.
99
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:07,473
Grandmas are selfless like that.
100
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,059
Now get my good side, sweetie.
101
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,020
Uh, Papa? Are you all right?
102
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:16,941
Okay, Bill. She can't write anything
if you don't do anything.
103
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,068
So don't move a muscle!
104
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,197
I don't like the Gabmore Girls, okay?
105
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,658
The only shows I watch
are Croblin's, Galaxu,
106
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,910
and the Mushy Hug Hug Baby Hour.
107
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,579
Isn't that the last one for toddlers?
108
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,249
Wait, no, don't record that!
It's got truths for grown-ups too!
109
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,333
Stop!
110
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,169
{\an8}Gabmore fan watches
Mushy Hug Hug Baby Hour.
111
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,338
{\an8}Is something burning?
112
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,756
{\an8}My meatloaf!
113
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,635
{\an8}Meat left,
forgetful father leaves family famished.
114
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:48,723
- Dang camera.
- Get out of my shot.
115
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,393
Scoot, you little carpet stain.
116
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,270
Litter trouble in Big City.
117
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,188
Livid lady pollutes lane.
118
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:59,483
Man, we try to control the narrative
and we still look bad.
119
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:03,237
I mean, I'm not as bad as y'all.
But still.
120
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,823
Look, Tilly keeps writing these stories
because we keep reading them.
121
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,659
We just have to ignore
Tilly's paper altogether.
122
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:14,498
Right, but what if the stories
about you two goobs are really funny?
123
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,666
No exceptions.
124
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:19,587
If we want to end the embarrassing
headlines, we all have to stand firm.
125
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:24,676
New Tilly Times!
Who wants one? Papa? Cricket? Grandma?
126
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,803
Don't you want to learn
about your fellow Green?
127
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,472
This issue's a real page-turner.
128
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,599
- No thanks.
- Pass.
129
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,435
Oh, I see.
130
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,565
- Look, Cricket, it's your girlfriend.
- Hmmm.
131
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:43,694
This is horrible. Readership is down 300%.
132
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:46,238
The paper can't bring the family together.
133
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,406
If they don't read it.
134
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,326
{\an8}Then we need
to write an issue they can't resist.
135
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:53,120
{\an8}Why, yes, assistant editor.
I do believe you're right.
136
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,666
{\an8}It's time to deploy
my undercover reporters.
137
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,340
{\an8}Dear diary, today has been wild.
138
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:14,226
Hmmm.
139
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,233
Oh, that's good.
140
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,570
Why ain't you drinking milk tonight?
141
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,156
I don't know.
Maybe go ask your tchotchkes.
142
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:32,284
Laugh it up, dog-kisser!
143
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,703
- Hot off the presses
- Now!
144
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:39,917
Here in my hands, I hold
the ultimate issue of The Tilly Times.
145
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,627
Painted gold, for effect.
146
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:46,091
Within this paper
is each Green's most tightly held secret.
147
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:50,886
Haven't you ever wondered what Cricket
does behind the old garage?
148
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,390
Or what's inside Grandma's hidden safe?
149
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,517
Or what Papa's diary contains.
150
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,686
What? Tilly, that's going too far.
151
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,940
Oh, there's no too far if it brings us
together. Who wants to read it?
152
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,944
Sure would like
to know what's in Dad's diary.
153
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,697
I didn't even know Ma had a safe.
154
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:13,159
What on earth is that boy
doing behind my garage?
155
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:19,207
Wait! Don't fight over it.
156
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,544
Stop!
157
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,091
I have to put a stop to this madness.
158
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,801
Secrets.
159
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,306
- I'm seeing spots.
- I've been flashbanged.
160
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,646
Why'd you do that?
I thought you wanted us to read it.
161
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,190
Not anymore.
162
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,609
You can go now, Melissa.
163
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:51,989
I founded this paper to keep us close,
but I'd rather be distant than fighting.
164
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,408
I'm hereby canceling The Tilly Times.
165
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,369
Feel free to return
to your separate existences.
166
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,666
Phew.
167
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,669
Thank goodness. We don't gotta worry
about that paper no more.
168
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,006
You said it. Talk about a headache.
169
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:15,471
Well, I mean, it wasn't all bad.
Some of her stories were okay.
170
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:19,266
Yeah. I did like that story
about Grandma's parking ticket.
171
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,977
Did you really threaten
to burn down City Hall?
172
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,062
Got that right.
173
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,981
I also kind of liked that article
about Bill's tomatoes.
174
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,858
I didn't know you were planting those.
175
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,361
Oh, yeah. Great season so far.
176
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:33,322
And, Cricket, I read
that Gabmore Girls expose,
177
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,741
and just so you know,
I love that show, too.
178
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,411
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
179
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,081
I guess I forgot I kind of like you guys.
180
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,541
Been a while since we caught up like this.
181
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,045
This is what Tilly was trying to show us.
182
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,924
She wanted us to talk no matter what.
And dang it, she's right.
183
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,051
- Agreed.
- Sure.
184
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:58,306
Hey, you know, us coming
to this realization is pretty big news.
185
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,058
Extra, extra.
186
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,434
Hmm?
187
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:06,772
Greens rekindle bond.
Vow to talk at dinner again?
188
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,357
What do you think, Till?
189
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,526
- I mean, the headline is way too long.
- Told you.
190
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,528
Shut it.
191
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,947
But it's the best story I've ever read.
192
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,200
Well, it's all thanks
to you and your paper, sweet baby.
193
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:22,663
{\an8}Huh? Fowl play.
Girl reeks after cooping up with chickens?
194
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,290
Take the hint.
195
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,918
Heh. Fair enough.
196
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,294
Shower first, then hug.
197
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,592
{\an8}♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
198
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:38,345
{\an8}♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪
199
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,307
{\an8}♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
200
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,768
♪ Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪
201
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:48,605
♪ I got chased by dogs
Licked by a frog ♪
202
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,776
♪ Got a rash on my legs
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
203
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:55,238
♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪
204
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,366
♪ And tomorrow, I'll do it all again ♪