1
00:00:02,126 --> 00:00:05,963
Now this is what I call
an authentic medieval costume.
2
00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:08,716
I’ll say. Your mother bought it
from the history museum.
3
00:00:08,716 --> 00:00:10,134
It’s priceless, dear.
4
00:00:10,134 --> 00:00:12,220
So wear a bib if you’re going to eat.
5
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,387
Vasquez!
6
00:00:13,971 --> 00:00:14,972
[grunts]
7
00:00:14,972 --> 00:00:17,350
A bib for Master Remy.
8
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,434
You look different.
9
00:00:18,434 --> 00:00:20,895
Why aren’t you wearing
your customary sweater vest?
10
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:23,356
I, Sir Remy Remington,
11
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:26,234
am attending the community center’s
annual medieval party.
12
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,402
We dress up how they did
in the olden times.
13
00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:30,696
Then I must select a costume at once.
14
00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:33,491
I’m ready.
15
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,867
Oh, you don’t need to come.
16
00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:36,244
I’ll be fine on my own.
17
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,829
You without a bodyguard?
18
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:40,289
Good one, Master Remy. [laughs]
19
00:00:40,289 --> 00:00:42,917
Actually, we think he’s earned
some independence.
20
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,253
We’re benching you, man.
Take the night off.
21
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,462
You hear that, Vasquez?
22
00:00:46,462 --> 00:00:51,759
[slowing] I don’t need you anymore!
23
00:00:51,759 --> 00:00:54,428
[echoing] ...anymore. ...anymore.
24
00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:56,139
[Rashida] Oh, look, the Greens are here.
25
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:59,684
- Good morrow, Lord Remington.
- How fare ye?
26
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:02,937
[Vasquez] He doesn’t need me?
He doesn’t need me?
27
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:06,691
Well, I must be off. My chariot awaits!
28
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,067
[Vasquez] Ah! Wait!
29
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,236
Master Remy... Oh!
30
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,697
[groans]
31
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,157
- Vasquez?
- Vasquez?
32
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:16,075
- Vasquez?
- [both] Vasquez?
33
00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:18,327
[groans] What happened?
34
00:01:18,327 --> 00:01:19,662
You had a panic attack.
35
00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,414
Attack? Where? Who?
36
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,666
No, no, we’re talking about anxiety.
37
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,668
You got blitzed by your own brain.
38
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,587
We thought you might want
somebody to talk to,
39
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,173
so we called our mobile therapist.
40
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:32,592
Therapist?
41
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,136
- Good luck, buddy.
- Hope you feel better.
42
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,596
[sighs]
43
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,347
It’s nice to meet you, Vasquez.
44
00:01:38,347 --> 00:01:40,099
My name is Dr. Maya Bloom,
45
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:43,603
and this is a safe space to be vulnerable.
46
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:44,729
- Hmph!
- Now,
47
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:46,564
what brings me in today?
48
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,775
The Remingtons are trying
to keep me from doing my job!
49
00:01:49,775 --> 00:01:51,861
And I take it that wounded you?
50
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,655
Wounded? Do I look like I’m bleeding?
51
00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:56,407
Not on the outside, no.
52
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,826
But when we care about someone
and they hurt us,
53
00:01:58,826 --> 00:02:01,412
we feel it in our hearts just as deeply.
54
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,164
Don’t you have someone you care about?
55
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,248
Huh?
56
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,792
Master Remy.
57
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,005
I almost die at least once a day
trying to protect him.
58
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:14,467
He hangs with a well-meaning,
but very reckless country boy.
59
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,927
I see.
60
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,262
Now tell me, how did you and Remy meet?
61
00:02:18,262 --> 00:02:21,098
It was late one night, many moons ago.
62
00:02:22,099 --> 00:02:24,727
I was working with my former brotherhood.
63
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,147
A group of mercenaries called...
64
00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:29,440
[all grunt]
65
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,150
...the Order of the Fang.
66
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:33,945
Wait, so you were a criminal?
67
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,405
Lady, is this a safe space or not?
68
00:02:36,405 --> 00:02:38,407
It is. Please continue.
69
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:40,576
[thieves panting]
70
00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:43,079
[Vasquez] We heard a Big City couple
were in possession
71
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:45,915
of our ancient scroll of dark secrets.
72
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,876
They purchased it
from a natural history museum
73
00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:50,670
to include in their personal collection.
74
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,296
They are very wealthy.
75
00:02:52,296 --> 00:02:54,131
The lost scroll!
76
00:02:54,131 --> 00:02:55,591
Viper Fang, I found it.
77
00:02:55,591 --> 00:02:57,677
Good work, Tiger Fang.
78
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,262
[Vasquez] Little did we know...
79
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,429
[door handle rattling]
80
00:03:00,429 --> 00:03:02,056
...we were in for a surprise.
81
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,349
- [crying]
- Uh-oh.
82
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,850
Somebody’s ready for bed.
83
00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:06,185
They’re back early.
84
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,479
Fangs, shadow formation.
85
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:11,399
Russ, why don’t you grab
that ancient scroll Remy likes
86
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,942
from the gallery?
87
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,944
[Russell] Kid loves that thing
like a blankie.
88
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,196
There it is.
89
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:18,781
This thing is cool.
90
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:19,907
[hums]
91
00:03:19,907 --> 00:03:21,784
[gasps] The scroll.
92
00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,661
[whimpering and crying]
93
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,204
[Russell] Here you go, bud.
94
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:27,415
Our beautiful little nerd.
95
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,542
I love him so much.
96
00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:31,836
Now’s our chance.
97
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,129
Excellent.
98
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,047
[grunting]
99
00:03:35,047 --> 00:03:36,882
Baby, you must give me the scroll.
100
00:03:36,882 --> 00:03:38,676
[straining]
101
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:39,927
[cries]
102
00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:43,431
- Shh! Here! Here!
- [coos]
103
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:46,017
The baby’s cries will alert his parents.
104
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,311
No matter. Take the baby as well.
105
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,520
Take him?
106
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,982
The first time I picked up Master Remy,
107
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,234
- I knew.
- [cooing]
108
00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:58,654
He was the most pure,
innocent being I had ever seen.
109
00:03:58,654 --> 00:04:01,657
The true embodiment of all things good.
110
00:04:01,657 --> 00:04:02,950
- [Remy giggling]
- Huh?
111
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:05,244
Come on, Tiger Fang. What’s the holdup?
112
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:07,663
I don’t think we should take him.
113
00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:10,166
Why not? The baby will love the Order.
114
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:14,295
And if it doesn’t, we’ll throw it
in the dungeon until it does.
115
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:15,546
What? What are you doing?
116
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,214
I can’t explain it,
117
00:04:17,214 --> 00:04:19,467
but I feel in my heart
this baby must follow
118
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,010
a different path.
119
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,470
[coos and blows raspberry]
120
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,305
But, Tiger Fang. The scroll!
121
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,848
Forget the scroll.
122
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:28,392
I have always followed
the ways of the Order,
123
00:04:28,392 --> 00:04:31,562
but this time, I must do things my way.
124
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,647
I cannot let you take the infant.
125
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:37,193
[gasps] The Master will be
most displeased with your betrayal.
126
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,861
So be it!
127
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:41,155
[whistles] Well, boys.
128
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:43,574
Looks like the objective’s changed.
129
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,284
Eliminate Tiger Fang!
130
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,244
[grunting]
131
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:51,332
[growls]
132
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:52,416
[yells]
133
00:04:58,005 --> 00:05:00,257
- [cooing]
- [blows landing]
134
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,718
- [grunts]
- Ah!
135
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:07,723
Come on, Tiger Fang.
136
00:05:07,723 --> 00:05:10,810
You’d really throw everything away
for this stinky baby?
137
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,896
- What’s going on in here?
- [gasps]
138
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,564
[Rashida] They have Remy!
139
00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:16,941
[toy squeaks]
140
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,025
Uh-oh.
141
00:05:18,025 --> 00:05:19,193
[grunting]
142
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,778
Get back!
143
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,905
Huh?
144
00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,490
No, no, no-- Whoa!
145
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,159
[giggles]
146
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:29,328
- [both gasp]
- He’s good.
147
00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:31,664
Here you go, little guy.
148
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,499
It’s no use.
149
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,627
- Oh, no!
- Save our baby, mysterious stranger!
150
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:39,338
The child is ours! [hisses]
151
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,841
No, he’s not!
152
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,885
Ah! I’m lactose intolerant!
153
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,306
[all scream]
154
00:05:49,306 --> 00:05:51,809
[Viper Fang] This isn’t over, Tiger Fang!
155
00:05:53,727 --> 00:05:56,021
Hey, man, you know how to kick some butt.
156
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:58,899
You saved our precious baby boy.
157
00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:01,068
How can we ever repay you, Mister...
158
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:04,321
The name is Tiger F-- Uh... Vasquez.
159
00:06:04,321 --> 00:06:07,533
Well, Mr. Tigerfuhvasquez--
160
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:08,909
Can I just call you Vasquez?
161
00:06:08,909 --> 00:06:10,578
- Mm.
- Cool.
162
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:14,039
Seeing how you expertly protected our son
from all that danger,
163
00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:16,459
we’d love to hire you as a bodyguard.
164
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:17,793
I accept.
165
00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:19,462
From this day onward,
166
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:23,716
I will be there for him. Always.
167
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,177
Master Remy was too young
to remember that night.
168
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:29,388
- But ever since then, I kept my word.
- Whee!
169
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:33,225
[children laughing]
170
00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:36,520
I was the barrier between him
and imminent danger.
171
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,439
- Hyah!
- [squawks]
172
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:41,358
He’s never known life
without me by his side.
173
00:06:41,358 --> 00:06:42,735
Hmm, that’s true.
174
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,945
You’ve protected him,
taught him many things
175
00:06:44,945 --> 00:06:46,113
and helped him grow.
176
00:06:46,113 --> 00:06:47,865
Yes! You get it.
177
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,576
And now you’re coming
to terms with that reality
178
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,953
that he’s ready to go
and do some things on his own?
179
00:06:52,953 --> 00:06:55,789
No! You don’t get it. He needs me.
180
00:06:55,789 --> 00:06:57,541
I must protect him always.
181
00:06:57,541 --> 00:06:59,168
- [watch beeps]
- [gasps] Oh, no.
182
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,920
Master Remy’s sweat tracker.
183
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:05,257
His skin moisture level
went from clammy to glistening.
184
00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:08,010
Master Remy’s in danger. I must go to him.
185
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,137
But our session isn’t over.
186
00:07:10,137 --> 00:07:11,472
Then we must go to him.
187
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:16,977
♪ Whisk, O thee merry ♪
188
00:07:16,977 --> 00:07:18,729
♪ Thy feet, they be weary ♪
189
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,689
♪ For a cuda named Barry ♪
190
00:07:20,689 --> 00:07:21,941
[hums]
191
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,817
My royal subjects,
192
00:07:23,817 --> 00:07:27,029
your queen is not pleased
with having to wait in line
193
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:29,532
like some kind of basic pleb!
194
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,617
Why, greetings, Your Majesty.
195
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,077
As your lady-in-waiting,
196
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:36,038
it is my sacred duty to wait in this line
197
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,998
for your red sugary beverage.
198
00:07:37,998 --> 00:07:39,291
Prithee, away.
199
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:42,670
Thanks, Tilly. I will prithee away.
200
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:43,879
It’s a living.
201
00:07:43,879 --> 00:07:45,881
Okayeth, Remy.
202
00:07:45,881 --> 00:07:49,301
Getteth ready for a noodle
inneth your noggin.
203
00:07:49,301 --> 00:07:53,138
I, the esteemed and chivalrous
Sir Remy Remington,
204
00:07:53,138 --> 00:07:54,974
accept your challenge!
205
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,560
Now mount thine steed!
206
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,398
Vasquez, are you familiar with the term
"helicopter parent"?
207
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:03,983
No! Come.
208
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,693
This way.
209
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,278
Master Remy?
210
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,946
Hmm.
211
00:08:10,447 --> 00:08:12,616
Master Remy! Jousting?
212
00:08:12,616 --> 00:08:13,784
Cricket?
213
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,953
It’s going downeth!
214
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:18,372
[gasps] Nobody told me he’d be competing
215
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,124
in a dangerous sporting event.
216
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:21,292
[growls]
217
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:25,254
[laughing]
218
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,172
I will protect you, Master Remy,
219
00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:29,008
from any harm that shall befall you.
220
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,843
No matter what.
221
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,220
No matter what!
222
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:35,556
Vasquez, let’s think about this.
223
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:38,475
[both yelling excitedly]
224
00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:40,686
[gasps] No!
225
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,939
I could have saved him! [sobs]
226
00:08:43,939 --> 00:08:46,609
Focus, Vasquez.
You’re close to a breakthrough.
227
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,111
I’ll break through anything
to protect Master Remy.
228
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,904
Starting with this glass!
229
00:08:50,904 --> 00:08:52,656
Hold on. Look at Remy.
230
00:08:52,656 --> 00:08:54,700
Does he really look like the helpless boy
231
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,535
you saved from danger so long ago?
232
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:57,620
Huh?
233
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,163
[groaning]
234
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:00,706
[laughs] Hark!
235
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,959
Let us continue in our revelry!
236
00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:06,420
So it’s true.
237
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,423
Master Remy
really doesn’t need me anymore.
238
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,258
- [sobs]
- [party favors blowing]
239
00:09:11,258 --> 00:09:12,801
Exactly.
240
00:09:12,801 --> 00:09:15,012
Congratulations, Mr. Vasquez.
241
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:17,806
[whimpering] This is a good thing?
242
00:09:17,806 --> 00:09:19,933
Well, it certainly is a natural thing.
243
00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:22,269
Relationships can grow and change.
244
00:09:22,269 --> 00:09:23,771
Even bodyguarding ones.
245
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,105
- [watch beeps]
- Oop!
246
00:09:25,105 --> 00:09:26,857
Well, looks like our time is up.
247
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:29,693
- Goodbye, Vasquez.
- Huh?
248
00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:31,111
[gasps] Huh?
249
00:09:31,111 --> 00:09:33,864
If you’d like to chat again,
you have my card.
250
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:36,116
Wait! Wait! I don’t understand.
251
00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:37,785
What do I do now?
252
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,666
Oh, please, after thee.
253
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,585
And after thee. Oh, after thee.
254
00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:48,837
I am the lady-in-waiting.
255
00:09:48,837 --> 00:09:50,839
[sighs] ’Tis bliss.
256
00:09:50,839 --> 00:09:52,383
Sir Vasquez!
257
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,343
Thou should’ve seeneth it!
258
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:57,554
I, Sir Remy, ’twere master of the joust!
259
00:09:57,554 --> 00:10:00,307
Sure, Cricket had lanced me a few times,
260
00:10:00,307 --> 00:10:02,935
but that hath made it all the more jovial.
261
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,937
Whateth can I sayeth?
262
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,814
I’m very glad you had a good time
263
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,649
all on your own, Master Remy.
264
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,859
You didn’t need me after all.
265
00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:12,444
I did miss you, though.
266
00:10:12,444 --> 00:10:13,862
I still want you around,
267
00:10:13,862 --> 00:10:15,781
even if I don’t need you.
268
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,825
Really?
269
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,451
I understand now.
270
00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:22,162
I don’t need to protect you all the time,
271
00:10:22,162 --> 00:10:24,665
but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna lose you.
272
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:25,958
Of course not!
273
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,043
You may not always be my bodyguard,
274
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:30,879
but you’ll always be my buddyguard.
275
00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:32,798
[laughs] Oh!
276
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:41,265
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
277
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:44,309
♪ Lost a bet, got bit by 100 flies ♪
278
00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:47,563
♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪
279
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:50,315
♪ Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪
280
00:10:50,315 --> 00:10:52,735
♪ I got chased by a dog ♪
281
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,153
♪ Licked by a frog ♪
282
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,696
♪ Got a rash on my leg ♪
283
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,865
♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
284
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:01,493
♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪
285
00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:04,163
♪ And tomorrow I’ll do it all again ♪