1 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:08,080 They told us we were young, yet we understood the enormity of it. 2 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:10,680 We understood what was at stake. 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:16,280 Our fear was replaced with something altogether more terrifying... 4 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:18,840 ..hope. 5 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,600 Hope is so much worse. 6 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,600 With hope you have something to lose... 7 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:24,960 {\an1}TAPE REWINDS VOICE DISTORTS 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,880 Oh, for fuck's sake! What's happened now?! 9 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,600 Your TV is such a piece of crap. 10 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,640 No, it's not. Your camera's the problem. 11 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,440 My camera's top of the range! 12 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:35,720 It's true. His ma only sends him really expensive shit, you know, 13 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,000 to make up for the fact that she doesn't love him. 14 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,400 Michelle! Oh, sorry, that came out wrong. 15 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:44,160 I meant... Nope, can't think of any other way to put that. 16 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,240 That actor there looks so familiar. 17 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,280 That's you, Orla. 18 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,600 We're gonna have to reshoot this footage. No chance! 19 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,080 Oh, come on, Michelle! 20 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,080 These kids from Germany made a short film about the Berlin Wall, 21 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,320 and it won an Oscar! 22 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,240 Aye, but they probably had, you know, talent. 23 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,920 Look, we need to face the fact that we've spent the summer 24 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,280 making something that's really quite shite. 25 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:09,760 It's not shit, Michelle! Well, the script might need a bit of work. 26 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:14,320 Do not start on the script again! The script is a masterpiece! 27 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,520 The script is boring, Erin. It doesn't make any sense. 28 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:17,880 What's it even about? Peace. 29 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,400 Urgh, I am so fucking sick of peace! 30 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,160 It's all anyone ever bangs on about. 31 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,640 OK, I think we should just cut our losses, 32 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,880 and make a couple of fake videos for You've Been Framed. 33 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,640 Oh, I can fall down three flights of stairs without even hurting myself! 34 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,480 It's £250 a pop, people! 35 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,080 No! Can I ask something? Yeah. 36 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,400 How much longer are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room? 37 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,920 Where? It's tomorrow, girls. Tomorrow! 38 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:47,480 Christ, I feel sick. Why? You're gonna walk it, Clare. 39 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,680 I know that! I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you four. 40 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,000 If you fail your GCSEs the school won't take you back. 41 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,240 I don't wanna have to make new friends from scratch, 42 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,320 I'll have enough on my plate with the A-levels! 43 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,440 I'm just praying you lot scrape by! 44 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,400 That is very considerate of you, Clare. 45 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:03,640 I know! 46 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,800 {\an1}MUSIC: I'm Gonna Get You by Bizzare Inc 47 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,280 Once again, the Maze was the focal point 48 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,600 of a troubled peace process today, 49 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,680 as Mo Mowlam arrived for a visit 50 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,040 that has been variously described as mad or brave. 51 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,200 If we manage to get people round the table on Monday... 52 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,120 God, she's a ballsy wee thing, isn't she? 53 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,080 I've said it before and I'll say it again, 54 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,560 if anyone's gonna sort that lot out it'll be a woman. 55 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,520 Where is he? D'you get the butter? He's done it again. Seamus! 56 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,960 Keep your voice down, Gerry! I want him out, Mary! 57 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,320 He'll hear ye! I don't care! 58 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,160 He's a psychopath, and he's outstayed his welcome. 59 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,280 {\an1}DOOR OPENS Seamus! 60 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,280 Seamus! Just what the hell is your problem, boy?! 61 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,080 {\an1}That. CAT MEOWS 62 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,440 That is my problem, Joe. There is now a dead shrew on our doorstep. 63 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,760 And? And if we add that to the three dead pigeons, the dead mouse, 64 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,240 and the dead feckin' frog, that's quite the body count, Joe. 65 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,640 What's that gotta do with Seamus? 66 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,640 The fact that the corpses starting piling up 67 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,680 within 24 hours of you taking in a feral cat is no coincidence, Joe. 68 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,840 It wasn't Seamus! Seamus wouldn't hurt a fly. 69 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,480 I've seen him EAT flies. Seamus didn't kill anything! 70 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,760 There's a tabby, two streets away, 71 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,840 has a vendetta against him. 72 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,360 They had a falling out. I don't know the details. 73 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,200 So, Seamus has been framed by another cat?! 74 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,320 Exactly! 75 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,880 Jesus, that's desperate. 76 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,720 He could at least put a bell on the thing. That's a good idea, Daddy. 77 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,000 That way if Seamus is the culprit... He isn't! 78 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,680 Well, then the birds, the mice, the shrews, the frogs, 79 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,000 they'll hear him coming. 80 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,800 Put a bell on him? I dunno, Mary, 81 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,080 is that not a breach of his human rights? 82 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,600 No, because he's a cat. 83 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,840 He doesn't want to wear a bell, Mary, he's made that very clear! 84 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,080 Christ almighty! 85 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,960 We're going to Michelle's to watch a film, 86 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,520 can we borrow your video-cam, Daddy? 87 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,480 So, big day tomorrow! Is our Avon order due? 88 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,120 The weans get their GCSE results, Sarah. 89 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,680 Oh, aye. 90 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,080 Listen, no auld filth, do you hear me? 91 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,680 I'm sorry?! I had to pay an overdue fine last week, 92 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,080 and American Gigolo is not suitable viewing for teenage girls. 93 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,520 I didn't rent American Gigolo, Daddy. 94 00:03:58,560 --> 00:03:59,880 I swear! 95 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,560 Leave the weans alone, Gerry. Away you go. 96 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,240 {\an1}DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES Interesting. 97 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,680 Jesus, this looks class. 98 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,720 This Scottish drag queen takes on the entire English army. 99 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,040 William Wallace wasn't a drag queen, Michelle. 100 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,480 He's wearing a skirt, and has a full face of foundation on him, James. 101 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,600 Oh, fuck's sake. You dirty wee bastard. 102 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,320 What kind of a fucking animal doesn't REWIND?! 103 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,760 Dennis, what are you doing here? 104 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,600 I work here. No, you don't. 105 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,440 Aye, I do. Since when? 106 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,040 Jesus Christ, I was asked less questions when I was interned. 107 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,360 I don't think I've ever seen you outside of your wee shop. 108 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,280 I didn't even know you had legs. Are yous gonna get something, or not? 109 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,960 Well, is there anything in particular you'd recommend, Dennis? No. 110 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,400 OK, well... 111 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,240 ..we're just having a bit of a read, and then... 112 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,920 Bit of a read? This isn't a fucking library, girls. 113 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,920 It is a library, Dennis, it's... It's a video library. 114 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,040 {\an1}Ah. HE CHUCKLES 115 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,920 GET OUT! 116 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,400 {\an1}GIRLS GASP DOOR OPENS 117 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,680 Ladies. What happened, Sister?! 118 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,440 This? This is nothing. 119 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,040 You should see the other guy. 120 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,520 Right. 121 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,520 We wanted to rent a video, but... Yeah, I didn't ask. 122 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,280 Trying to take our minds off tomorrow. 123 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,720 Why are you still talking to me? 124 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,160 The results, you know? Stop it! 125 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,200 I suppose in many ways you're as nervous as we are. 126 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:31,040 Well, no, because the school actually receives them 127 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,520 the day before you do, and also, I don't care. 128 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,680 Awk, Sister, it's yourself. 129 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:40,600 I've left the new Scorsese over for you. 130 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,240 You...have the results already?! 131 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,520 You know how we did? 132 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,080 Just try to enjoy what time you've left, girls. 133 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:57,440 {\an5}"Try to enjoy what time we have left." It doesn't even make any sense. 134 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,240 It means we've failed, Erin. It means no GCSEs, ergo no A-levels, 135 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,520 ergo no university, ergo the end! 136 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,320 "Ergo" wise up, Clare. 137 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,440 You're over-reacting. 138 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,040 I knew I should have cut ties with you lot a long time ago. 139 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,480 It's not our fault! Of course it's your fault! 140 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,440 You've dragged me down to your level, 141 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,800 your stupidity has finally rubbed off on me. 142 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,160 I was a scholar when I met you, Erin, a scholar! 143 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,840 You were three! Our lives are over. 144 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,120 I wouldn't say our lives are over. 145 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,120 Passing those exams was our only chance. 146 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,760 We're girls, we're poor, we're from Northern Ireland 147 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,720 and we're Catholic, for Christ's sake! 148 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,520 Oh, my God, she's right! What type of future will we have?! 149 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,360 We don't need to worry about the future, Erin. 150 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,040 If we fail, well, our mas are gonna fucking wipe us out, 151 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,040 and dead people don't need jobs. 152 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,440 Oh, thank you, Michelle, that's very reassuring(!) 153 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,720 {\an5}How bad do you think it is? Do you think it's, like, grounded bad, or...? 154 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,960 Run-away-from-home bad. Exactly. 155 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,680 And if it is run-away-from-home-bad, 156 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,240 I'm afraid I will need my snorkel back, James. OK, let's not panic... 157 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,880 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 158 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:59,120 Let's just wait until tomorrow, and see what we're dealing with. 159 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,920 Or...we can see what we're dealing with tonight. 160 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,640 How?! 161 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,480 Sh! 162 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,440 I do have a slight concern that this plan might be a little flawed. 163 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,160 Do you wanna find out or not, Clare? 164 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,600 Shouldn't we wait till dawn? 165 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,360 No, we shouldn't, Clint Eastwood! 166 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,440 Won't the alarm go off? I know the code. How? 167 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,640 Last summer I had a bit of a thing with Jackie Ryan... 168 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:33,640 Jackie Ryan, the caretaker?! He's about 60! That's disgusting! 169 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,040 That's elder abuse! And he's married. 170 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,800 I just think that is the most... Jackie Ryan's son! 171 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:39,840 Oh, right. 172 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,520 We used to sneak in here all the time. 173 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,120 Oh, the things we got up to on them crash mats, girls. 174 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,520 Thank you, Michelle(!) 175 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,080 Now we just have to work out how to get through the actual door. 176 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,880 We could just smash the shit out of it. 177 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,480 I'd rather not smash the shit out of it, if you don't mind, Michelle! 178 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,560 This is what they'd do in the movies. 179 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,560 What, wave a Video Village card around like a fucking simpleton? 180 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,880 Jimmy the Lock, step aside. 181 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,640 So, if I just... 182 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,520 ..and then it should... 183 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,960 Yeah, it's not gonna work. 184 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,960 Can I try something? Knock yourself out, Orla. 185 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,200 {\an1}THEY GASP 186 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,400 Yes! 187 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:22,480 We lived on the edge back then. We were young, wild, fearless. 188 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,640 We didn't play by the rules. 189 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,400 I'm gonna shove that camera up his hole! 190 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,120 What are we playing at? This is breaking and entering, girls! 191 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,280 It's not breaking and entering, Clare, the door was open. 192 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,360 It's...entering. I think I'm coming out in a rash! 193 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,160 {\an1}DOOR SLAMS What was that?! 194 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,600 MAN: Hello? Jesus Christ! Let's go, let's go! 195 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:39,960 MAN: Hello? Hurry up! 196 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,800 Quietly! 197 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,400 Why are we walking backwards? I'm not sure. 198 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,840 {\an1}Oi! THEY GASP 199 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,000 Oh. Hello, girls. 200 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,240 Who are you? What the hell's going on? 201 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:55,960 What are you doing here, girls? 202 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,600 Breaking and entering. No! Shut up, Orla! 203 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,000 Netball. 204 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,720 What?! We are here for netball practice. 205 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,320 It's a bit late, isn't it? Christ, would you look at the time? 206 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,120 Listen, girls. 207 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,920 I'm gonna ask yous something now, 208 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,160 and I want yous to give me an honest answer. 209 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,720 Is that clear?! 210 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,080 Sweet...Jesus. 211 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:30,040 We don't know this was someone's pet! It looks wild to me. 212 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,960 It's wearing a collar, Da. And a name tag! 213 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,200 "Fluffy." God, aye, he looks like a fluffy, doesn't he? 214 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,120 He looks like a piece of taxidermy, Sarah! 215 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,120 Seamus has crossed a line! 216 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,680 He's out of control! 217 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,040 He can't go around killing people's pets, Da. There'll be a riot! 218 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,800 We haven't had one of them in a while. 219 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,920 He is innocent. Come on, Da! 220 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,800 This is pretty damning evidence. 221 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,880 Aye, you're right. It is that. 222 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,920 Praise the Lord. Well, Seamus, looks like there's only one thing for it. 223 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,320 Yeah. 224 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,720 We're gonna have to get rid of the body. 225 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,400 Excuse me? Mm. 226 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,360 Thanks for giving us a hand, girls. 227 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,040 Honestly, can't thank you enough. 228 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,040 Christ, the amount of crap we had to shift. 229 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,640 We thought we'd be here all night. 230 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,360 No sweat. Sorry, what's your name? 231 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,160 Hans. Hans?! 232 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:20,160 Hans? Yeah, Hans. What, is that like a nickname, or...? 233 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:24,440 No, it's a first name, you know, like Hans Christian Andersen. 234 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,600 That's very unusual. Isn't it just? Yeah, my mother, she was Danish. 235 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,400 Was she now? She was, yeah. I never knew that. Well, now you do. 236 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,320 All right, just whack them in there. 237 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,640 Good work. 238 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,440 Fair play to you, love. 239 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,800 I think that's the last of it, girls. 240 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,400 Let me give you something for your trouble. Awk, not at all. 241 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:52,640 It's far too much. 242 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,280 Cheers, Hans. 243 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,000 Mind yourselves, now. Slan. 244 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,200 {\an1}DOORS SLAM 245 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,240 {\an1}ENGINE REVS 246 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,560 Hans? Prick! 247 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,200 They were so sound. 248 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,800 And that Hans fella had an arse on him like two boiled eggs. 249 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,480 I hope they're getting overtime. Me too. 250 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,560 Aye, that was some amount of gear they shifted. 251 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,080 It was, wasn't it? 252 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:20,200 They didn't actually say where they were taking it, did they? No. 253 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:21,520 So...now that I think about it, 254 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,360 weren't those computers, like, relatively new? 255 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,800 I think they might have been, yeah. 256 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,920 Right, so... 257 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,120 ..is it a bit weird that two men we've never seen before 258 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,320 just sort of took away a load of really expensive equipment 259 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,600 in the middle of the night? What are you getting at, Clare? 260 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:40,600 It's just that...now...on reflection... 261 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,760 ..I'm slightly worried we might have accidentally 262 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:43,920 helped burgle the school. 263 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,560 {\an1}SIRENS WAIL 264 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,680 Sweet merciful Jesus! 265 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,320 {\an1}ALL SHOUT AT ONCE 266 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,040 Armed police! Hands in the air now! 267 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,040 Hands in the air, slowly turn around, 268 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,280 and place your palms flat against the wall! 269 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,200 This is a set-up! 270 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,040 You have my full cooperation, sir! 271 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,720 I repeat, put your hands in the air, 272 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,400 slowly turn around and place your palms flat against the wall! 273 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,240 What the hell's going on?! 274 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,600 What? No! No! 275 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,840 No, no, no, no! 276 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,680 Can I hold your gun? 277 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,720 No, no, no, no! This is a terrible mistake, officer! 278 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,120 Wait, are they arresting us? 279 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,160 But they haven't said the bit! You haven't said the bit! 280 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,760 Do you know the bit about how we don't have to 281 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,760 say anything at this time, and anything we do say 282 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:43,840 may be given in evidence? 283 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,400 You know, our right to remain silent? 284 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,600 You haven't told me about my right to remain silent! 285 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,840 What about my right to remain silent?! Shut the fuck up, James! 286 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,720 We didn't do anything, we're innocent! 287 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,480 Like that matters, Erin, we're Catholics, for Christ's sake! 288 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,600 Have you never seen In The Name Of The Father? 289 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,520 They'll think nothing of sending us down for a crime we didn't commit! 290 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,720 We'll be like the Guildford Four, the Birmingham Six! 291 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,200 Or the A-Team. We can't go to prison, girls! 292 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,640 We're too delicate for prison! 293 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,320 We go to convent school, Erin, for fuck's sake, we'll be grand. 294 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,640 Excuse me, ma'am, can I just say I'd be absolutely willing 295 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,200 to give evidence against these guys 296 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,840 if the right deal was on the table. Seriously, Clare?! 297 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:23,480 {\an1}MUSIC: Born Slippy by Underworld 298 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,320 Pull over. 299 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,600 This is a good spot. 300 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,120 Oh, is it now? 301 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,440 Disposed of a body before, have you, Joe? 302 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,000 No. 303 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,360 But I've often thought about how I might. 304 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,600 {\an1}DOOR SLAMS 305 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,240 God love him. Don't be soft, Gerry. 306 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,800 It was him or us. That's just not true, is it, Joe? 307 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:05,000 Right, you take his legs, I'll take his... 308 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,360 ..legs. Grand, so. 309 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,640 {\an1}POLICE RADIO CHATTER 310 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,800 Put your back into it, for Christ's sake! 311 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,600 {\an1}GERRY BREATHES HEAVILY 312 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,520 {\an1}Sir. DOOR CLOSES 313 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:48,800 Sir! 314 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,280 MICHELLE: Oh, dickhead! 315 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,080 Please, sit down. 316 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,800 OK, ladies... 317 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,440 We'd just like to ask you a few questions. 318 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,120 Nice uniform. 319 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,400 Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. 320 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,680 Not now, Michelle. 321 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,960 OK, sir, I would just like to state for the tape... 322 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,320 There is no tape. ..that we are completely and totally innocent. 323 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:17,360 And this is a...horrific miscarriage of justice. 324 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,480 Grand. Excuse me?! 325 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,120 Here's where we're at, girls. 326 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,880 I'm actually a boy. OK, love. 327 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,320 We've had several reports of suspicious activity 328 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:30,440 on the grounds of Our Lady Immaculate College this evening. 329 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,840 Following up on that lead, we discover you five on the premises, 330 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,160 that the locks on the side door have been forced, 331 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,600 and the alarm system deactivated. 332 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,400 Now, we can't get hold of the headmistress, 333 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,200 one...Sister George Michael. 334 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,440 George Michael? But the caretaker has informed us 335 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,600 that a substantial amount of computer equipment 336 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,160 seems to have vanished. 337 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:59,000 We didn't take it. What were you doing on the grounds, girls? 338 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,720 We went there to... We thought that we could... 339 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,640 We were just trying to... 340 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:05,720 Break in. 341 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,800 We would like to speak to a solicitor, please. All in good time. 342 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,520 For the tape, the inspector is refusing us 343 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,880 the right of legal representation. 344 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,600 There is no tape. Well, why can't we speak to a solicitor?! 345 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,480 I didn't say you couldn't. You're trying to stitch us up, aren't you? 346 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,880 Why would I do that? Because we're fenians. 347 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,440 That is a very serious allegation, girls. 348 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:31,600 {\an5}Are you denying that your organisation is prejudiced, Inspector? 349 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,160 For the tape, the inspector is refusing to answer. 350 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,600 There is no tape! 351 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,320 If your organisation isn't prejudiced, Inspector, 352 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,280 then you won't mind telling us how many Catholic officers 353 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,880 are serving in it at this time. 354 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,200 I think we're losing sight 355 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,600 of who's questioning who here, girls. How many? 356 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,200 {\an1}HE STAMMERS 357 00:16:55,240 --> 00:17:00,640 Well, if you count the Jewish fella from, uh, Ballymena, three. 358 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,680 In the entire police force, 359 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:08,480 you have three Catholic officers, and one of those officers is a Jew? 360 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,800 Lovely fella, by the way. He is, yeah. 361 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,800 I would like to speak to our lawyer immediately. Who is our lawyer? 362 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,840 I don't know. Look, we're just trying to work out 363 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,240 what happened here, girls. 364 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,120 It was Hans! 365 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,880 Hans? Hans and his friend, they did it! 366 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,200 Hans? 367 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,320 You know, like, Hans Christian Andersen. 368 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:31,800 His mother was Danish. Do you think you could describe this Hans? 369 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,640 Well, I could pick that arse out of a line-up. 370 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,960 Let's hope it doesn't come to that. 371 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,400 OK, before this goes any further, you're minors, 372 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:44,040 we need to get a parent or a guardian down here, ASAP. 373 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:45,880 Who would you like us to call? 374 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,880 Can you just give us a minute? 375 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,080 We can't call my ma! 376 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,960 Well, we're not calling mine! Mine neither! 377 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,160 Do not look at Orla, her ma is just an extension of my ma! 378 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,520 What about someone's dad? Das can't be trusted! 379 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,760 Das are in the pockets of mas. It's true. 380 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,520 Das are just Ma enablers. 381 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:09,680 Well, who, then?! Oh, God, there's nobody! 382 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,680 They'll just wear us down until we say we did it! 383 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,600 We'll be forced to sign false confessions, there's no way out! 384 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,040 What if we wear them down first? 385 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,400 How? 386 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,600 I know who we should call. 387 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:29,280 So, I says to myself, says I, Colm, who'd be ringing you at this hour? 388 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:33,360 And sure, if I hadn't been in the middle of a Maeve Binchy, 389 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,200 I'd have probably slept through the thing altogether. 390 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,560 What was it we asked him? I can't remember, sir. Jesus. 391 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,920 ..I'm like a dead one. 392 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,720 Mr McCool, if I could just... 393 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,440 Your nieces and their friends claim they saw the men 394 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,880 who carried out this burglary. We did see them. 395 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,280 They've given us some rather vague descriptions. Hardly vague! 396 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,560 I apologise, Miss Mallon, you did provide us 397 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,760 with quite specific details of the suspect's rear end. 398 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,160 Apology accepted. We also gave you a name. 399 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:08,080 Nobody in Londonderry is called Hans, girls. 400 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,680 Well, you say that, now, 401 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,360 but there's a young lad up in Pennyburn called Diego. 402 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,880 Is this relevant? The mother, she's a Derry woman, 403 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,040 but the father, he was Spanish. 404 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,920 Though not on the scene, by all accounts. 405 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,320 {\an1}Thank you, if we could just... KNOCK ON DOOR 406 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,680 Alex, don't leave me. 407 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,080 It's every man for himself, sir. 408 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:31,640 ..Diego's father, this is, well, he came over with the Spanish Armada, 409 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:35,880 then cleared off, leaving her to raise the wean on her own, 410 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,160 but that story didn't totally add up, was the thing. 411 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,120 I need you to stop talking now. 412 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:46,080 The problem being that the Spanish Armada landed here in 1588, 413 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:49,400 and that the son, Diego, as she called him, 414 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:53,320 well, he was born more than four centuries later. 415 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,760 I will caution you. She made the whole thing up! 416 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,160 As mad as a bag of cats, she was. 417 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:02,320 Sir. And she had been clattering the wean in thon fake tan stuff, 418 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,600 to make him more Spanish-y looking, you know? 419 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,000 There's a van matching the descriptions on CCTV. 420 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,240 Which how suspicions were raised, you see, 421 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:14,880 because there was a powerful whiff off the wee critter. That'll do. 422 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,200 Thank you very much for your time. 423 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,800 You've been a huge help. 424 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,600 We'll take it from here. 425 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,240 We can go? 426 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,160 Yes, please. Do, go, right now. 427 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,600 And for the love of suffering Jesus, take him with ye. 428 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,800 Thank you, you're a legend, Colm, a legend! 429 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,480 Thank you, Colm! Any time, weans! Any time at all! 430 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,440 Ah, Jim. What about ya? 431 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,360 You remember Cara? 432 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:56,600 Not your Kathleen's girl? Jesus, she's shot up! 433 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,760 Aye, she's staying with me this week, so she is. 434 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,400 Past her bedtime, though, now. Wise up, Granda! 435 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,520 Jim was wondering if we've seen Cara's rabbit, Da. 436 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,240 Oh, dear Jesus. A rabbit? 437 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,280 Yeah, Cara's rabbit went missing, Daddy. 438 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,880 They were wondering if we might have seen it. Right. 439 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:16,400 Cara was gonna take it a walk earlier, but the hutch was open, 440 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,680 and there was no sign of him. 441 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,520 She was gonna take it a walk? 442 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,000 That's right. The rabbit? Aye, you're supposed to walk 'em, Mary. 443 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,080 Really? Really. 444 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,680 So, Seamus about, is he? 445 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,120 What business have you with Seamus? Don't cover for him, Joe. 446 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,600 I don't know what you mean. 447 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,520 He's still refusing to wear a bell, I hear. 448 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,440 What about it? People have been talking, Joe. 449 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,080 People are concerned. 450 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:40,720 The pigeons, the mice, that's how it starts. 451 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,200 Next thing you know, pets are disappearing. 452 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,000 Seamus didn't touch the rabbit! 453 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,320 Well, if I find out any differently, Joe... You won't. 454 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,720 {\an1}I'm watching you. BELL TINKLES 455 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,160 I'm watching all of yous. 456 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,120 Come on, Cara, love. 457 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:12,280 Right, we need to get that wean a new rabbit. 458 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,480 Well, what a great but ultimately uneventful evening. 459 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,200 The robbery was my favourite part. 460 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,400 What?! 461 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,680 Oh, sub-plot in Braveheart! 462 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,080 What did you guys get up to? 463 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:26,240 Nothing! Nothing much. Nothing to report. 464 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,520 Oh, what's this? 465 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,000 Fluffy who? 466 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,480 Oh, thanks, love. I was looking for that. 467 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,960 They're all the rage, girls. 468 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,480 {\an1}BELL TINKLES CAT MEOWS 469 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,080 Ah, don't look at me like that, you. 470 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,920 I had no choice. 471 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,840 {\an1}PUPILS CHATTER 472 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,240 Christ, this could not get any worse! 473 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,520 Straight As! Straight As! 474 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,160 I stand corrected! 475 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,680 Should we say a wee prayer first, maybe? 476 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,160 Yeah, I'd say our lord is up there now, looking down on the world, 477 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,600 thinking the floods and the famine can wait, 478 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,560 for there is a child in Derry 479 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,440 who needs me to magically alter the contents of an envelope. 480 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,840 That's very good, Sister Michael, that's very funny! 481 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,800 Ach, don't be such a lick, Geraldine. 482 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,120 Oh, just get on with it, please. 483 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,160 Oh, my God, I passed, I passed! 484 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,000 Me too! Me three! 485 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,720 Aye, by the skin of your teeth, Michelle. 486 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,040 Straight As, straight As! 487 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,000 Oh, my God, Erin, snap! 488 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,120 Look, an A, four Bs, three Cs, and a D! 489 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,800 What?! Let me see that, that can't be right. 490 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,320 How? 491 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,920 How have you got the same results as me? This can't be right! 492 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,560 Christ, you don't think there's been some sort of a mix-up, do you? 493 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,560 Orla just does really well at exams, 494 00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:01,880 despite the fact she obviously, you know...is subnormal. 495 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,400 Aaw! Thank you, Sister. 496 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,800 You said we failed! I didn't say you failed. 497 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,480 I IMPLIED you failed. 498 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,680 Why? Bit of a slow day. 499 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,760 We passed! We did it! We did it! 500 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,520 Oh, hello there. 501 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,720 There was a bit of an incident last night in the school. 502 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,840 Have you seen this before, Sister? No. 503 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,120 Shit! 504 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,760 We just found it in the computer lab. 505 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,440 Gonna spin through the footage now. 506 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,320 Ah, fuck-a-doodle-doo! 507 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:32,480 {\an1}MUSIC: Wannabe by The Spice Girls 508 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,920 # I'll tell you what I want What I really, really want 509 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,400 # So, tell me what you want What you really, really want 510 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:38,920 # I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna 511 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,840 # I wanna really, really, really wanna zig-a-zig-ah 512 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,520 # If you want my future 513 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,600 # Forget my past 514 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,360 # If you wanna get with me 515 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,200 # Better make it fast 516 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:54,400 # Now don't go wasting my precious time... # 517 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,000 Subtitles by Red Bee Media