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<i>[Merle Haggard's</i>
<i>"Workin' Man Blues" plays]</i>

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<i>[host] </i>Everybody, welcome
{\an8}the very funny Dusty Slay!

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<i>[audience cheers]</i>

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<i>♪ It's a big job getting by ♪</i>

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<i>♪ With nine kids and a wife ♪</i>

6
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<i>♪ But I've been working, man</i>
<i>Dang near all my life… ♪</i>

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<i>Okay.</i> <i>All right. We're having a good time.</i>

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<i>Okay. I'm pumped to be here.</i>

9
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<i>Pumped to be here, pumped to be out</i>
<i>on the road, staying at hotels.</i>

10
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<i>It's fun. I'm back in a hotel.</i>
<i>And I love a hotel.</i>

11
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<i>Know what I mean?</i>
<i>But I don't always get the best hotels.</i>

12
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<i>I was at a hotel not too long ago,</i>

13
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<i>they had a sign</i>
<i>inside the room that said,</i>

14
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<i>"Not responsible for stolen items."</i>

15
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<i>So I took some stuff.</i>
<i>You know what I mean?</i>

16
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<i>I'm like, "I'm not responsible either.</i>
<i>I don't even work here."</i>

17
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<i>"Hell. I've been needing a lamp</i>
<i>with some plugs on it."</i>

18
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<i>You know what I mean?</i>

19
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<i>Tired of plugging my stuff</i>
<i>into a wall at home.</i>

20
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<i>Know what I mean?</i>

21
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<i>It's tough to find a lamp</i>
<i>with USB ports on it. You know?</i>

22
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<i>When you find one, you take it.</i>
<i>That's what I always say. All right.</i>

23
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<i>Okay. We're having a good time.</i>

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<i>I like to tell people</i>
<i>we're having a good time, you know?</i>

25
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<i>I don't like to ask.</i>

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<i>[audience laughing]</i>

27
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<i>Lot of comics come out here.</i>
<i>They go, "Are we having a good time?"</i>

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<i>Not me. I can't risk it.</i>
<i>You know what I mean?</i>

29
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<i>You never know how it's gonna go.</i>

30
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<i>I like to tell you</i>
<i>that we're having a good time here.</i>

31
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<i>So I got a new TV.</i>

32
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<i>Recently I got a lamp,</i>
<i>I got a TV, and, uh…</i>

33
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<i>TV not from a hotel, and, uh…</i>

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<i>It had been a long time since I upgraded</i>
<i>and I wanted to get rid of the old one,</i>

35
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<i>but I didn't wanna throw it away</i>
<i>so I decided I'd take it to Goodwill.</i>

36
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<i>And I showed up</i>
<i>at Goodwill with this old TV,</i>

37
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<i>and the Goodwill guy was like, "Nah."</i>

38
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<i>He said,</i>
<i>"We don't take TVs like that anymore."</i>

39
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<i>But they did take it.</i>

40
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<i>Later that night when they were closed.</i>
<i>You know what I mean?</i>

41
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<i>Just drop that thing right off.</i>

42
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<i>I'm not getting rejected from Goodwill,</i>
<i>is what I'm telling you.</i>

43
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<i>Not today. Not any day. That's a gift.</i>

44
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<i>You don't turn down a gift.</i>

45
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<i>I didn't get my receipt. So I won't</i>
<i>be able to claim that on my taxes.</i>

46
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<i>It'll be a tough year.</i>

47
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<i>You ever do that? Drop off clothes</i>
<i>at Goodwill, they're like,</i>

48
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<i>"You want a receipt?"</i>

49
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<i>I'm like, "No. I don't want proof</i>
<i>I ever owned these clothes."</i>

50
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<i>It's like, "You see what I'm wearing."</i>

51
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<i>"Imagine what I'm giving away for free."</i>

52
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<i>"Imagine what I'm too good for."</i>
<i>You know what I mean?</i>

53
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<i>Like, "I bought these clothes here</i>
<i>last year at this Goodwill."</i>

54
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<i>Okay? All right.</i>

55
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<i>I like to get picture frames at Goodwill.</i>

56
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<i>Sometimes you get a good deal on a frame.</i>

57
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<i>And sometimes you can get pictures</i>
<i>of other people's family.</i>

58
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<i>I don't know how that happens.</i>

59
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<i>People are like,</i>
<i>"Well, I'm done with this frame</i>

60
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<i>and this family."</i>

61
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<i>"Yeah, they mean a lot to me,</i>

62
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<i>but not enough</i>
<i>to bend a staple in the back."</i>

63
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<i>"Don't have that kind of time."</i>

64
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<i>"Can't be bending staples all day."</i>

65
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<i>Okay. We're having a good time. I, uh…</i>

66
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<i>I like to wave like this. I do this a lot.</i>
<i>I wave like this at the end of a joke,</i>

67
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<i>just to let you know that joke's over.</i>

68
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<i>Lot of times you'll know</i>
<i>'cause you'll be laughing.</i>

69
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<i>Other times</i>
<i>I'll have to give you one of these.</i>

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<i>I got a lot going on up here.</i>

71
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<i>I like to touch my hat,</i>
<i>my glasses, my belt.</i>

72
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<i>I'm like a third base coach</i>
<i>up here and, uh…</i>

73
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<i>Know what I mean?</i>
<i>Just trying to get you home.</i>

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<i>[scattered applause]</i>

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<i>Okay. We're having a good time.</i>

76
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<i>I do like this hat.</i>

77
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<i>I got this hat at Goodwill.</i>
<i>Not this one, but one like it. And, um…</i>

78
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<i>I like this hat 'cause it changes me.</i>

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<i>A lot of people don't know it changes me</i>
<i>'cause you haven't seen me without it.</i>

80
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<i>But if I take this hat off,</i>
<i>you're like, "Oh, man."</i>

81
00:04:00,825 --> 00:04:03,119
<i>"I bet that guy</i>
<i>likes rock music right there."</i>

82
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<i>Right? If I put this hat on, you're like,</i>
<i>"Nah. He's got a rock collection."</i>

83
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<i>Know what I mean?</i>

84
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<i>[laughs] Okay.</i>
<i>If I take this hat off, you're like,</i>

85
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<i>"That guy looks like the lead singer</i>
<i>from the rock band Korn."</i>

86
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<i>I put this hat on,</i>
<i>you're like, "Nah. He grows corn."</i>

87
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<i>That's right. We're having a good time.</i>

88
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<i>[chuckles]</i>

89
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<i>If I take this hat off, you're like,</i>
<i>"I bet that guy smokes weed."</i>

90
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<i>I put this hat on, you're like,</i>
<i>"Nah. That guy </i>definitely<i> smokes weed."</i>

91
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<i>This hat can't change everything. It's…</i>

92
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,573
<i>not a magic hat.</i>

93
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<i>How many people thought</i>
<i>my hair was attached to this hat?</i>

94
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<i>-[audience applauds and cheers]</i>
<i>-Yeah. All right.</i>

95
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<i>A lot of people think that,</i>
<i>a lot of people, actually.</i>

96
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,711
<i>Lot of people tell me</i>
<i>I look like Forrest Gump</i>

97
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,338
<i>after he ran for a long time.</i>

98
00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,467
<i>I wish that were a newer movie.</i>
<i>That would be a great joke.</i>

99
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<i>One guy commented</i>
<i>on a YouTube video I had.</i>

100
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,431
<i>He said, "He looks like the guy</i>
<i>that comes out to say a prayer</i>

101
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,141
<i>before the NASCAR race begins."</i>

102
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<i>I don't know what that means entirely,</i>
<i>but I will do it.</i>

103
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<i>I will do it.</i>

104
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<i>Well, my hair feels pretty good today</i>
<i>'cause I've been at a hotel.</i>

105
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<i>And when I'm at a hotel,</i>
<i>I use a lot of shampoo. Know what I mean?</i>

106
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<i>'Cause it's free and it's a good time.</i>

107
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<i>But, you know, I love a hotel.</i>

108
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<i>I like a hotel</i>
<i>that's a little shady though.</i>

109
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<i>Know what I mean? I like to fit in.</i>

110
00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:35,378
<i>I like to pull up out front,</i>

111
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<i>there'd be people there</i>
<i>smoking cigarettes.</i>

112
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<i>Like, I don't want</i>
<i>people OD'ing out front,</i>

113
00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,843
<i>but I would like them</i>
<i>to be doing some drugs.</i>

114
00:05:43,636 --> 00:05:46,847
<i>I like to walk by a room</i>
<i>and smell weed coming outta there.</i>

115
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<i>That way,</i>
<i>I know what's allowed. You know?</i>

116
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,645
<i>That way, when the front desk</i>
<i>calls my room later and goes,</i>

117
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<i>"We smell weed," I go, "Me too."</i>

118
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<i>"Me too. Doesn't bother me,</i>
<i>but I appreciate you checking with me."</i>

119
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<i>"I'll let you know if I need anything,</i>
<i>but don't come up here. We're fine."</i>

120
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<i>I stayed at one hotel.</i>
<i>Nothing worked. The elevator didn't work.</i>

121
00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:13,332
<i>Finally got to my room</i>
<i>and the Wi-Fi didn't work.</i>

122
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,918
<i>So I went downstairs.</i>
<i>Like, "The Wi-Fi doesn't work."</i>

123
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:21,048
<i>He was like, "Yeah. It's a little shaky,</i>
<i>but the network name is 'Ramada Inn 1.'"</i>

124
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<i>That's when I realized why it was shaky.</i>

125
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<i>'Cause we weren't at a Ramada Inn.</i>

126
00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:31,851
<i>I could see the Ramada Inn</i>
<i>through the window.</i>

127
00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:37,606
<i>He was like,</i>
<i>"But it works good here in the lobby."</i>

128
00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,400
<i>"Why don't you just use it here?"</i>

129
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,194
<i>I'm like, "Obviously you don't know</i>
<i>what I need Wi-Fi for."</i>

130
00:06:42,278 --> 00:06:44,780
<i>[audience groans and laughs]</i>

131
00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:47,491
<i>"I'm not working</i>
<i>on a spreadsheet up here, buddy."</i>

132
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:50,035
<i>[scattered applause]</i>

133
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<i>Man, I'm stressed out.</i>
<i>You know what I mean? Okay.</i>

134
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<i>We're having a good time.</i>

135
00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,880
<i>You ever check into an old hotel</i>
<i>and plug your phone charger in the wall,</i>

136
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,048
<i>and then it just falls out on the floor?</i>

137
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:07,136
<i>So, what's going on</i>
<i>with those plugs? You know?</i>

138
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:09,263
<i>Who's stretching out all the plugs?</i>

139
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,977
<i>Know what I mean?</i>
<i>Why they all wore out like that?</i>

140
00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:19,690
<i>Who's got</i>
<i>these big phone chargers out here?</i>

141
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:23,277
<i>That's what I'm saying.</i>
<i>I got a regular-size phone charger.</i>

142
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,237
<i>Now I'm not even making a connection.</i>

143
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,199
<i>Walking around</i>
<i>with a half-charged phone all day.</i>

144
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:32,203
<i>I'm just saying, don't stretch out</i>
<i>the plugs for everybody else.</i>

145
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,497
<i>You may not be</i>
<i>the last one to use that plug.</i>

146
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,500
<i>I like a snug plug. You know what I mean?</i>

147
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,168
<i>[audience member laughs loudly]</i>

148
00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:41,754
<i>Yeah, okay. We're having a good time here.</i>

149
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,299
<i>All right. We're having a good time.</i>

150
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:51,388
<i>I stayed at a casino hotel one time.</i>
<i>I've stayed at a lot of hotels.</i>

151
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:54,266
<i>I stayed at a casino hotel.</i>
<i>They had a sign in the room.</i>

152
00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:58,479
<i>Had a list of everything you could steal</i>
<i>and how much it cost. All right?</i>

153
00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:01,607
<i>That way, if you steal something,</i>
<i>they'll charge it to your account.</i>

154
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,400
<i>I guess to keep you from stealing,</i>

155
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:06,237
<i>but they had an ironing board</i>
<i>on there for like $20.</i>

156
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,990
<i>I was like,</i>
<i>"That seems like a good deal to me."</i>

157
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:14,161
<i>I don't buy a lot of ironing boards,</i>
<i>so I don't know.</i>

158
00:08:14,245 --> 00:08:16,622
<i>But $20 seems cheap to me. Right?</i>

159
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:20,543
<i>Plus, who's bold enough</i>
<i>to steal an ironing board from a hotel?</i>

160
00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:23,879
<i>A lamp? That's easy.</i>
<i>You just put that in your bag.</i>

161
00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:26,423
<i>You might not get the shade,</i>
<i>but you get the lamp.</i>

162
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:31,804
<i>An ironing board? You're at check-out</i>
<i>like, "No. I had this when I came in."</i>

163
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,475
<i>"Yeah. It does look a lot like yours,</i>

164
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,895
<i>but I always carry</i>
<i>an ironing board with me."</i>

165
00:08:40,396 --> 00:08:42,856
<i>"Good thing</i>
<i>because there's not one in that room."</i>

166
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,987
<i>"You can check. It ain't in there."</i>

167
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:49,989
<i>I don't even know how to iron.</i>

168
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:52,741
<i>This is the best I ever look.</i>
<i>Somebody ironed this for me.</i>

169
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,452
<i>I know how it works. You know?</i>

170
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,871
<i>You plug it into the lamp and then you…</i>

171
00:08:59,999 --> 00:09:02,835
<i>Do it like that,</i>
<i>but I can't get the wrinkles out.</i>

172
00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,129
<i>A lot of hotels</i>
<i>want you to be eco-friendly now.</i>

173
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,882
<i>At least that's what they say, but they</i>
<i>just don't wanna wash your towels.</i>

174
00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:13,053
<i>That's what it's all about. They're like,</i>
<i>"Save the planet. Reuse a towel."</i>

175
00:09:13,137 --> 00:09:16,056
<i>And I don't mind reusing a towel.</i>
<i>I've been known to reuse a towel</i>

176
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:19,393
<i>for so long that the smell</i>
<i>of the towel gets on my body.</i>

177
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,853
<i>[audience groans]</i>

178
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,897
<i>I gotta get back in the shower</i>
<i>just to wash the towel off.</i>

179
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:28,944
<i>I'm just saying</i>
<i>I've been eco-friendly this whole time.</i>

180
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,488
<i>People been calling me nasty.</i>

181
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:35,701
<i>I love the word "nasty."</i>
<i>It's a fun word to me. I like it.</i>

182
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:39,204
<i>'Cause if you really wanna call</i>
<i>somebody gross, call 'em "nasty." Right?</i>

183
00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,581
<i>Really hits 'em in a way.</i>

184
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,709
<i>But weirdly,</i>
<i>"nasty" can be a compliment. You know?</i>

185
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,044
<i>Depending on the setting.</i>

186
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:48,505
<i>If you're in the bedroom and you call</i>
<i>somebody nasty, they could be into it.</i>

187
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,257
<i>Yeah, like, "You nasty."</i>

188
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:56,180
<i>It's weird to have a word that could call</i>
<i>somebody gross and also be a compliment.</i>

189
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,223
<i>You know a word</i>
<i>that doesn't work like that?</i>

190
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,266
<i>Disgusting.</i>

191
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,352
<i>[audience laughing]</i>

192
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:05,022
<i>You're in bed,</i>
<i>your wife's like, "Talk dirty to me."</i>

193
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,066
<i>You're like, "You're disgusting."</i>

194
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,821
<i>I know that won't work.</i>
<i>I used to drink a lot.</i>

195
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,199
<i>I know that won't work.</i>
<i>I did used to drink a lot.</i>

196
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,409
<i>Heavy drinker.</i>
<i>I quit drinking. I had to quit,</i>

197
00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:20,663
<i>'cause I used to black out all the time,</i>
<i>and nothing good ever happens</i>

198
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:23,415
<i>when you black out.</i>
<i>No one's ever like, "You blacked out,</i>

199
00:10:23,499 --> 00:10:26,210
<i>but I appreciate you helping</i>
<i>with those taxes." [chuckles]</i>

200
00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:30,547
<i>I wasn't trying to black out.</i>

201
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,758
<i>I was trying to carry</i>
<i>a three-beer-buzz all day</i>

202
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,510
<i>and that's tough after 15 beers.</i>

203
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:39,765
<i>After 15, the beer's not working.</i>
<i>You gotta switch to something heavier.</i>

204
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:40,974
<i>You start doing shots.</i>

205
00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:44,478
<i>You do a couple shots, you slip</i>
<i>into what I like to call "the dark side."</i>

206
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,147
<i>When your mind goes blank,</i>
<i>your eyes go dim,</i>

207
00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:49,483
<i>you tell people secrets</i>
<i>you didn't know you had.</i>

208
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,570
<i>Blacking out's</i>
<i>like your mind's way of being like,</i>

209
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,364
<i>"Nah, you don't need to see this."</i>

210
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:59,076
<i>Your mind's like,</i>
<i>"I've lost control of the body,</i>

211
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,870
<i>but I can keep you</i>
<i>from seeing what it's about to do."</i>

212
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,374
<i>"You'll find out about it tomorrow."</i>

213
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,251
<i>"At work."</i>

214
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,045
<i>"If you still have a job."</i>

215
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,091
<i>I used to black out a lot.</i>
<i>You get used to it. You know?</i>

216
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,260
<i>But I remember</i>
<i>the first time was embarrassing.</i>

217
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,096
<i>I had a friend call me the next day</i>
<i>like, "How you feeling?"</i>

218
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,682
<i>I was like, "I dunno.</i>
<i>A little hungover, but good."</i>

219
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:24,393
<i>He's like, "Let me tell you</i>
<i>what you told me last night."</i>

220
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,188
<i>I'm like, "Dang, dude.</i>
<i>Don't tell me stuff like that."</i>

221
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:30,482
<i>He's like,</i>
<i>"That's what I'm trying to tell you."</i>

222
00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:34,570
<i>But after a while, I got tough to it.</i>
<i>I just wake up, look at my phone, I go,</i>

223
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:37,239
<i>"Well, I'll just delete</i>
<i>these people from my life."</i>

224
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,533
<i>"I don't know how that happened,</i>

225
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,453
<i>but it'd be easier to make new friends</i>
<i>than apologize for this."</i>

226
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,621
<i>[several audience members laugh loudly]</i>

227
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,582
<i>Couple people know what that's about.</i>

228
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:49,835
<i>Not everybody's gonna relate to that.</i>
<i>I get it.</i>

229
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,881
<i>I used to say things like, "Hey.</i>
<i>If they can't hang, they can't hang."</i>

230
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,383
<i>If you don't wanna get kicked out</i>
<i>of Dillard's in the day,</i>

231
00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:57,551
<i>that's your business.</i>

232
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,722
<i>Yeah. I wanna drink,</i>
<i>but I got some shopping to do.</i>

233
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:05,058
<i>Gotta pick up some slacks.</i>
<i>I got a wedding to go to.</i>

234
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,269
<i>If I'm still invited.</i>

235
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,897
<i>I don't understand pants a lot of times.</i>

236
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:13,609
<i>I don't even know what a slack is.</i>
<i>I never understood what khaki was.</i>

237
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,195
<i>I had a friend. I said,</i>
<i>"What should I wear to your wedding?"</i>

238
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:18,280
<i>He's like, "I don't know.</i>
<i>Just some khakis."</i>

239
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,615
<i>I was like, "What color?"</i>

240
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:22,034
<i>-[audience laughs]</i>
<i>-[scattered applause]</i>

241
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,119
<i>You get what I'm saying.</i>

242
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,873
<i>We're having a good time though,</i>
<i>know what I mean?</i>

243
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,627
<i>I didn't get that khaki was a color.</i>
<i>That's the point.</i>

244
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:34,838
<i>We're having a good time.</i>
<i>Don't worry about it.</i>

245
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,174
<i>Don't let it bother you.</i>
<i>We're having a good time.</i>

246
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,092
<i>I used to drink and drive a lot.</i>

247
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:42,012
<i>I'm not bragging about it,</i>
<i>but I was pretty good at it.</i>

248
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,306
<i>You ever wake up driving?</i>

249
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:48,852
<i>Like you been blacked out, then you</i>
<i>come to, like, "Dang. I'm driving."</i>

250
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,355
<i>"How'd I get this drunk?"</i>

251
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,773
<i>"Where am I going?"</i>

252
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,527
<i>And I got a flat tire.</i>
<i>"I hope that flat tire's new."</i>

253
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,612
<i>"I'm not trying to buy a rim out here."</i>

254
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:02,032
<i>Pulled into a parking lot.</i>
<i>I was able to get the car jacked up.</i>

255
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,494
<i>I got the flat tire off, but I couldn't</i>
<i>figure out how to get the spare on.</i>

256
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:09,373
<i>So I called AAA. That guy showed up,</i>
<i>he was like, "Dang, you're drunk, man."</i>

257
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,875
<i>I was like,</i>
<i>"Yeah. Normally I can change a tire."</i>

258
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:16,880
<i>"Plus, I'm pretty sure</i>
<i>I called AAA not AA. So…"</i>

259
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:21,468
<i>Yeah. I know.</i>

260
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,762
<i>[audience cheers and applauds]</i>

261
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:24,721
<i>You get it.</i>

262
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:27,224
<i>"If you wanna get this tire changed,</i>

263
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,852
<i>get me back on the road,</i>
<i>I got somewhere to be."</i>

264
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,938
<i>"Don't know where, but I'll figure it out</i>
<i>while you change the tire."</i>

265
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:36,108
<i>"I don't need a sponsor yet.</i>
<i>I'll call you in a couple years."</i>

266
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:39,736
<i>I did used to drink and drive a lot.</i>

267
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,823
<i>I live in Tennessee. They say,</i>
<i>"Buzzed driving is drunk driving."</i>

268
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,200
<i>So if you're gonna do it, get drunk.</i>

269
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:49,580
<i>At least that way,</i>
<i>you can sleep when you get to jail.</i>

270
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,999
<i>[scattered audience members laugh loudly]</i>

271
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:53,876
<i>Know what I mean? They get it.</i>

272
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:57,963
<i>I always say, "If you can get arrested</i>
<i>for four beers, why not have 14?"</i>

273
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,341
<i>I don't make the laws.</i>
<i>I'm just trying to live within 'em.</i>

274
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,553
<i>You only get two DUIs.</i>
<i>Don't waste one on a buzz.</i>

275
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,722
<i>[audience laughs and groans]</i>

276
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,726
<i>If you'll be driving a moped</i>
<i>for the next two years,</i>

277
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:11,977
<i>have a story about it.</i>

278
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,607
<i>But I'm not </i>for<i> drinking and driving.</i>
<i>People think I'm for it.</i>

279
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:20,360
<i>I'm just saying, back when I was drinking</i>
<i>there was no Uber, no Lyft.</i>

280
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:21,570
<i>Cabs weren't reliable.</i>

281
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:24,448
<i>So if you wanted to drink,</i>
<i>you had to just drive, right?</i>

282
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,491
<i>Sometimes we'd get a designated driver,</i>

283
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,744
<i>but that didn't mean</i>
<i>they wasn't going to drink.</i>

284
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:34,583
<i>That just meant you had someone</i>
<i>that was willing to risk it.</i>

285
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,087
<i>That one friend with nothing to lose.</i>

286
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,257
<i>He's like,</i>
<i>"I don't even have a driver's license."</i>

287
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,095
<i>I never had a sober friend</i>
<i>that was willing to drive me around</i>

288
00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:48,764
<i>that I wanted to hang out with.</i>

289
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,601
<i>I had friends like,</i>
<i>"I'll drive you to the bar."</i>

290
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,395
<i>And I'm like,</i>
<i>"No. We're trying to have a good time."</i>

291
00:14:56,939 --> 00:15:00,067
<i>"I don't need your sober eyes</i>
<i>staring at me all night."</i>

292
00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:04,404
<i>I don't need someone hanging around</i>
<i>that's gonna remember everything.</i>

293
00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:09,993
<i>I grew up in Alabama. In Tennessee,</i>
<i>Alabama there's nowhere to walk to.</i>

294
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:11,954
<i>You don't walk to the bar or home.</i>

295
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:13,956
<i>You walk home</i>
<i>too late at night in Alabama,</i>

296
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,208
<i>you might get hit by another drunk driver.</i>

297
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,504
<i>Gotta stay safe, man.</i>
<i>Keep it behind the wheel.</i>

298
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,173
<i>Okay, we're having a good time.</i>

299
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,592
<i>[audience laughs and applauds]</i>

300
00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:28,512
<i>Okay. There's no subway</i>
<i>in Alabama, you know what I mean?</i>

301
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,430
<i>Well, there is, but a sandwich shop.</i>

302
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,684
<i>Okay. You get it. And, uh…</i>

303
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,103
<i>We're having a good time here.</i>

304
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:38,730
<i>I used to smoke a lot of cigarettes.</i>

305
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:41,191
<i>I used to smoke so much</i>
<i>that my lungs would hurt,</i>

306
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,777
<i>and then I would dip till my lungs healed.</i>

307
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,113
<i>Then I would smoke</i>
<i>while my lip was healing.</i>

308
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,491
<i>I never vaped.</i>
<i>I quit smoking before vape came around.</i>

309
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,952
<i>For a while, there was</i>
<i>a lot of different vapes.</i>

310
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:55,163
<i>There was a regular cigarette vape.</i>
<i>There was, like, a JUUL.</i>

311
00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:57,916
<i>And some people smoked</i>
<i>out of a walkie-talkie.</i>

312
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:03,797
<i>Remember that?</i>
<i>They'd smoke out of the antenna.</i>

313
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,676
<i>Even makes the same sound.</i>
<i>It's like… [mimics radio static]</i>

314
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,389
<i>It's confusing if you have</i>
<i>a walkie-talkie </i>and<i> a vape.</i>

315
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:16,143
<i>"Am I taking a hit</i>
<i>or am I getting a call right now?"</i>

316
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,187
<i>They blow a lot of smoke too.</i>

317
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:23,025
<i>I was sitting behind this guy in traffic,</i>
<i>I thought his truck was on fire.</i>

318
00:16:23,859 --> 00:16:28,947
<i>He was just sitting there vaping,</i>
<i>listening to heavy metal. [chuckles]</i>

319
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,616
<i>I've never been a big heavy metal fan.</i>
<i>I like country music.</i>

320
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,036
<i>-I'm a big country music fan.</i>
<i>-[scattered cheers]</i>

321
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:37,122
<i>Okay. That sounds about right.</i>
<i>Was that four people? Perfect.</i>

322
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,666
<i>All right. There it is. There they are.</i>

323
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,168
<i>I love country. Right?</i>

324
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:45,213
<i>A good country song can have</i>
<i>you reminiscing about times you never had.</i>

325
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,259
<i>We weren't a lake family, growing up.</i>

326
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,471
<i>We never went to the lake,</i>
<i>but I hear a country song about the lake,</i>

327
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:54,139
<i>I'm like, "Yeah. I remember that."</i>

328
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:59,686
<i>[scattered applause]</i>

329
00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:01,104
<i>That was a good time.</i>

330
00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:03,857
<i>We needed that 'cause we never traveled.</i>

331
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:07,611
<i>I grew up in a trailer park in Alabama</i>
<i>and we had a pretty good time,</i>

332
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,906
<i>but not sure why they call it a park.</i>
<i>You know what I mean?</i>

333
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,533
<i>There wasn't no rides in there.</i>

334
00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:16,912
<i>No water slides.</i>
<i>We had an occasional slip-and-slide.</i>

335
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,790
<i>Like an old tarp</i>
<i>with some Dawn dish detergent on it.</i>

336
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,835
<i>We put our slip-and-slide</i>
<i>over a tree root one time.</i>

337
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,546
<i>Yeah. 'Cause we was gonna jump it.</i>

338
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,715
<i>That's not how that works.</i>

339
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:33,804
<i>[sighs] At all. I hit that tree root,</i>
<i>I just got up and got a job.</i>

340
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,599
<i>Like, "I am done playing out here."</i>

341
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,229
<i>Hell, I'm done playing. Period.</i>
<i>I got medical bills now.</i>

342
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:47,609
<i>I don't know if you've hit a tree root</i>
<i>going 70 miles an hour on your chest,</i>

343
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:49,736
<i>with a smile on your face, but…</i>

344
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,239
<i>it'll knock that smile off.</i>

345
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,033
<i>I never went camping growing up</i>

346
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:57,119
<i>'cause, like I said,</i>
<i>I grew up in a trailer,</i>

347
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,538
<i>and we felt</i>
<i>like we had a pretty good idea…</i>

348
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,291
<i>what camping was all about.</i>

349
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:06,128
<i>We're like,</i>
<i>"No. We already kinda live in a camper."</i>

350
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,672
<i>"We don't really need</i>
<i>to take it down to a tent."</i>

351
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,424
<i>[inhales sharply]</i>
<i>"We know what it's like to be poor."</i>

352
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:14,177
<i>"We're not trying to find out</i>
<i>what it means to be homeless."</i>

353
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,222
<i>"We're not trying</i>
<i>to practice homelessness out here."</i>

354
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,142
<i>A lot of people think I'm homeless.</i>

355
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,895
<i>If I go to a city</i>
<i>with a lot of homeless people,</i>

356
00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:27,023
<i>and I'm hanging around outside,</i>
<i>people will think I'm homeless.</i>

357
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,900
<i>It's happened quite a few times.</i>

358
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,028
<i>One time I was in Austin, Texas</i>
<i>and I was outside.</i>

359
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:35,198
<i>I was dressed like this.</i>
<i>You know, I was show-ready, and, uh--</i>

360
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,742
<i>-[audience laughs]</i>
<i>-[chuckles]</i>

361
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:41,329
<i>I was sitting on this park bench,</i>
<i>looking down,</i>

362
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,081
<i>and I heard someone say "excuse me."</i>

363
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,417
<i>I looked up</i>
<i>and there was a little girl there</i>

364
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:49,045
<i>with a brown paper sack in her hand,</i>
<i>and she said, "Do you want a sandwich?"</i>

365
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,131
<i>-[audience] Aw!</i>
<i>-Yeah. It was very sweet.</i>

366
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,008
<i>And I did want a sandwich, so…</i>

367
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,928
<i>It worked out. You know what I mean?</i>

368
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,139
<i>My stomach was full,</i>
<i>but my soul was empty.</i>

369
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,182
<i>Know what I mean?</i>

370
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,309
<i>I felt good, but not about myself.</i>

371
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:06,563
<i>But I don't turn down a free sandwich.</i>
<i>I don't got that kind of money.</i>

372
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,441
<i>I don't got the kind of money</i>
<i>that turns down a free sandwich.</i>

373
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,611
<i>There's a lot of different kinds of money.</i>
<i>I learned that growing up.</i>

374
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:16,656
<i>There's old money, new money,</i>
<i>blood money, drug money.</i>

375
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,200
<i>We didn't have any of that.</i>

376
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,702
<i>What we had was "good money." Right?</i>

377
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:23,121
<i>Where your parents</i>
<i>buy you something you don't like,</i>

378
00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:25,165
<i>they go, "We paid good money for that."</i>

379
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:27,542
<i>[scattered applause]</i>

380
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,630
<i>Good money buys the worst stuff too.</i>

381
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:34,841
<i>It's never anything good.</i>

382
00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:38,470
<i>Good money buys, like,</i>
<i>airbrushed T-shirts with your name on it.</i>

383
00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:41,431
<i>From Gatlinburg, Tennessee.</i>

384
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:46,186
<i>I had a lot of T-shirts</i>
<i>with wolves on it, growing up.</i>

385
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,522
<i>My mom thought</i>
<i>I'd look good in a wolf T-shirt.</i>

386
00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:53,902
<i>She's like, "The more wolves, the better.</i>
<i>Put them all over that thing."</i>

387
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:57,530
<i>"Might put a little moon on there.</i>
<i>Give that wolf something to howl at."</i>

388
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,497
<i>I had a hat, growing up.</i>
<i>Had my name airbrushed across the top.</i>

389
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,540
<i>It just said "Dusty" right here.</i>

390
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,126
<i>That's just so I wouldn't get kidnapped.</i>

391
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:15,006
<i>Kidnapper sees that hat, he's like, "No.</i>
<i>His family ain't got no money. Just…"</i>

392
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,509
<i>"Just give him the candy."</i>

393
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:21,471
<i>"Hell, he probably ain't had candy</i>
<i>in a long time."</i>

394
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,976
<i>I'm out there trying to get </i>in<i> the van.</i>

395
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,688
<i>They're like, "No! No."</i>

396
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,523
<i>"We are kidnappers."</i>

397
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,568
<i>I'm like, "I know. I'm a kid."</i>

398
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,531
<i>"Trying to get napped up in here."</i>

399
00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,451
<i>"Get me out of</i>
<i>this trailer park for a while."</i>

400
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,913
<i>The worst thing, for me,</i>
<i>about living in a trailer park</i>

401
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:50,417
<i>was having to write my address down</i>
<i>on anything in elementary school.</i>

402
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:55,255
<i>'Cause I wasn't the poor kid till I had</i>
<i>to write, "Lot 8, Moore's Trailer Park"</i>

403
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,798
<i>down on my school paperwork.</i>

404
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:59,634
<i>All the other kids are like,</i>
<i>"Dusty, you live in a trailer?"</i>

405
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:01,678
<i>"I don't know why you're so surprised."</i>

406
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,973
<i>"I mean, my first name is 'Dusty,'</i>

407
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:09,352
<i>and every day I come to school</i>
<i>in a NASCAR T-shirt."</i>

408
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,897
<i>"And my backpack's</i>
<i>from the Marlboro catalog."</i>

409
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,360
<i>That's right.</i>
<i>My parents finally smoked enough</i>

410
00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,279
<i>for me to start carrying some books.</i>

411
00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:24,784
<i>"Clear some of this smoke out,</i>
<i>I can get some reading done."</i>

412
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:28,079
<i>That's how we did</i>
<i>our Christmas shopping.</i>

413
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:30,623
<i>My mom handed me a Marlboro catalog,</i>

414
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,584
<i>I circled what I wanted,</i>

415
00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:34,169
<i>she started smoking.</i>

416
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,257
<i>She's like, "I'll get it."</i>

417
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,092
<i>"I'll get it."</i>

418
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,970
<i>[mimics coughing] "I'll get it."</i>

419
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:47,140
<i>You can't get stuff like that now.</i>

420
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,392
<i>Nowadays, they don't</i>
<i>reward you for smoking.</i>

421
00:21:51,895 --> 00:21:55,231
<i>It's a real shame. You gotta find it</i>
<i>at a flea market or something.</i>

422
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,525
<i>-I love a good flea market.</i>
<i>-[scattered cheers]</i>

423
00:21:57,609 --> 00:21:59,736
<i>Any time I see one, I go there. I love it.</i>

424
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:03,615
<i>I was in one not too long ago</i>
<i>and this lady had this great deal on DVDs.</i>

425
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,283
<i>And I love DVDs. Right?</i>

426
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:08,870
<i>I like to be about a decade</i>
<i>behind everybody else. You know?</i>

427
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:13,500
<i>So I'm just now getting into 'em.</i>
<i>And it's a good time 'cause they're cheap.</i>

428
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:17,045
<i>This lady had a great deal.</i>
<i>She had three DVDs for five dollars.</i>

429
00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:20,382
<i>I'm like, "That's a good deal."</i>
<i>So I'm gonna get six of these.</i>

430
00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:22,592
<i>That way, I can get six for ten. You know?</i>

431
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,011
<i>Three for five, two times.</i>

432
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:27,889
<i>Pretty easy. Right?</i>

433
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:30,308
<i>But this lady</i>
<i>couldn't understand her own deal.</i>

434
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:34,312
<i>I went up to her like,</i>
<i>"Hey. I'd like to get these DVDs."</i>

435
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:37,107
<i>She goes, "How many you got there?"</i>
<i>I said, "Six."</i>

436
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,651
<i>She said, "You know</i>
<i>it's three for five, right?"</i>

437
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:41,569
<i>I was like, "Yeah."</i>

438
00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:44,197
<i>"Six for ten."</i>

439
00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:48,743
<i>She goes, "Well… I guess."</i>

440
00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:51,454
<i>[audience laughs and applauds]</i>

441
00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:56,251
<i>[sighs]</i>

442
00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:59,379
<i>I didn't know what to say. [chuckles]</i>

443
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:02,715
<i>I didn't want her</i>
<i>to think I was ripping her off.</i>

444
00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:06,719
<i>So I was like, "No. This is your deal.</i>
<i>It's just three for five, two times."</i>

445
00:23:07,345 --> 00:23:09,597
<i>So I figure it's settled, right?</i>
<i>Easy mistake.</i>

446
00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:11,349
<i>Now I'm getting it for ten bucks.</i>

447
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:14,602
<i>But then I hear her</i>
<i>back there doing math. Right?</i>

448
00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:18,022
<i>I'm not making this up.</i>
<i>She going… [whispers indistinctly]</i>

449
00:23:19,149 --> 00:23:22,068
<i>Then she closed her eyes,</i>
<i>she goes… [continues whispering]</i>

450
00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:26,114
<i>She goes, "All right. That'll be $15."</i>

451
00:23:27,615 --> 00:23:30,785
<i>I was like, "Listen,</i>
<i>I'm not even trying to bargain with you."</i>

452
00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:32,203
<i>"This is your deal."</i>

453
00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:34,539
<i>"It's just three for five, two times."</i>

454
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:38,501
<i>"If you want, I'll buy these three</i>
<i>and then I'll take off this hat…</i>

455
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:43,381
<i>and I'll buy these other three."</i>

456
00:23:44,549 --> 00:23:46,509
<i>And that worked. You know what I mean?</i>

457
00:23:47,886 --> 00:23:50,680
<i>It worked. Okay. We're having a good time.</i>

458
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,599
<i>[audience applauds]</i>

459
00:23:52,682 --> 00:23:55,310
<i>You ever go to a retail place</i>
<i>and you pay with cash,</i>

460
00:23:55,393 --> 00:23:58,188
<i>they pull out the counterfeit pen,</i>
<i>start marking all your money,</i>

461
00:23:58,271 --> 00:24:00,899
<i>and then when they give you change,</i>
<i>they give you back cash?</i>

462
00:24:00,982 --> 00:24:03,735
<i>I'm always like,</i>
<i>"Let me hold on to that pen for a second."</i>

463
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,238
<i>"You don't trust me, I don't trust you."</i>

464
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,202
<i>"Yeah, I know it's a one."</i>
<i>You know what I mean?</i>

465
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:16,289
<i>Trying to roll around</i>
<i>out here with counterfeit ones?</i>

466
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:19,667
<i>We're having a good time.</i>

467
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,921
<i>I did wear</i>
<i>a lot of NASCAR T-shirts, growing up.</i>

468
00:24:23,004 --> 00:24:26,466
<i>There's nothing wrong with wearing</i>
<i>a NASCAR T-shirt but I wore so many</i>

469
00:24:26,549 --> 00:24:28,468
<i>that any time that I had to dress nice,</i>

470
00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:31,638
<i>my mom would just put me</i>
<i>in my newest NASCAR T-shirt.</i>

471
00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:35,183
<i>I'd be like, "This ain't that nice."</i>
<i>She's like, "I know."</i>

472
00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:37,101
<i>"Tuck it in."</i>

473
00:24:39,062 --> 00:24:40,647
<i>'Cause that changes everything.</i>

474
00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:43,858
<i>You go from working on the car</i>
<i>to church just by tucking it in.</i>

475
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,612
<i>My dad still does that.</i>
<i>He tucks his shirts in tight too.</i>

476
00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:50,657
<i>Real tight.</i>
<i>He'd make a V-neck out of a turtleneck.</i>

477
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:51,824
<i>[audience laughing]</i>

478
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,453
<i>Got T-shirt coming out</i>
<i>the bottom of his jeans.</i>

479
00:24:56,788 --> 00:24:58,957
<i>Seeing chest hair through the shirt.</i>

480
00:24:59,874 --> 00:25:01,960
<i>My dad's a big University of Alabama fan.</i>

481
00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:05,046
<i>He tucks his shirts in so tight,</i>
<i>all you see is "University."</i>

482
00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:09,968
<i>Like he's just </i>for<i> college.</i>

483
00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:13,012
<i>But he's not for college though.</i>

484
00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:15,223
<i>My dad made fun of me</i>
<i>for reading one time.</i>

485
00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:19,185
<i>Like, not how I was reading,</i>
<i>because I was doing it.</i>

486
00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:22,522
<i>He was like,</i>
<i>"No son of mine's gonna be reading books."</i>

487
00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:23,856
<i>So I quit.</i>

488
00:25:25,692 --> 00:25:27,402
<i>Got into drugs. You know?</i>

489
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:30,780
<i>-[audience laughs loudly]</i>
<i>-Okay. We're having a good time.</i>

490
00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:34,867
<i>I never went to college. I don't know</i>
<i>if you put that together already, but, uh…</i>

491
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:36,786
<i>I never went 'cause I had to pay for it.</i>

492
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:39,455
<i>I felt like at 18,</i>
<i>if I had enough money for college,</i>

493
00:25:39,539 --> 00:25:41,958
<i>I was probably doing</i>
<i>all right already and, uh…</i>

494
00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:43,835
<i>But we don't need it for everything.</i>

495
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:46,838
<i>I didn't know what I wanted to do,</i>
<i>but figured we don't need it.</i>

496
00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:49,757
<i>If you wanna be a doctor, lawyer,</i>
<i>obviously go to college,</i>

497
00:25:49,841 --> 00:25:51,968
<i>but building roads, building houses,</i>

498
00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:54,387
<i>we don't need college.</i>
<i>We'll figure it out. Right?</i>

499
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:57,348
<i>Abraham Lincoln built a house.</i>
<i>Did he go to college?</i>

500
00:25:57,432 --> 00:25:58,349
<i>I don't know.</i>

501
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:03,271
<i>I don't know. Not even sure</i>
<i>he built a house, to be honest with you.</i>

502
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:05,648
<i>That's just a thing people say.</i>

503
00:26:06,524 --> 00:26:08,526
<i>And they named the logs after him.</i>

504
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:12,030
<i>Know what I mean? You get it.</i>

505
00:26:12,113 --> 00:26:13,906
<i>[audience laughing]</i>

506
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,533
<i>We're having a good time.</i>

507
00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:19,996
<i>The thing that was most fun for me</i>
<i>about living in a trailer…</i>

508
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,581
<i>The most fun was tornadoes.</i>

509
00:26:21,664 --> 00:26:23,916
<i>Right? 'Cause I got to leave.</i>

510
00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:28,963
<i>Got to go to a real house for a while.</i>
<i>I loved going to a real house.</i>

511
00:26:29,047 --> 00:26:31,090
<i>I'd be like, "Look at all these bricks."</i>

512
00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:34,761
<i>Only time I ever seen a brick</i>
<i>is when it came through my window</i>

513
00:26:34,844 --> 00:26:35,928
<i>with a note on it.</i>

514
00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:37,805
<i>Said, "Cut your grass."</i>

515
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:43,061
<i>That's how they do it</i>
<i>in the Mobile Homeowners Association.</i>

516
00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:46,022
<i>We're having a good time.</i>

517
00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:49,233
<i>I live in Nashville, Tennessee, now.</i>

518
00:26:49,317 --> 00:26:51,444
<i>And one December we had a tornado warning.</i>

519
00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:54,447
<i>I was listening to the radio,</i>
<i>and they were telling us what to do</i>

520
00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:57,659
<i>during this tornado warning</i>
<i>based on what kind of house you live in.</i>

521
00:26:57,742 --> 00:27:01,120
<i>Like, "If you live in a house</i>
<i>with a basement, go to the basement."</i>

522
00:27:01,204 --> 00:27:04,874
<i>"If you live in a house with no basement,</i>
<i>go into a bathroom or a small room."</i>

523
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:07,168
<i>And they're like,</i>
<i>"If you live in a trailer park,</i>

524
00:27:07,251 --> 00:27:13,466
<i>we want you to go to a neighbor's house,</i>
<i>or go outside and lay down in the ditch."</i>

525
00:27:19,180 --> 00:27:20,807
<i>Yeah. That's the real news.</i>

526
00:27:21,432 --> 00:27:23,893
<i>They're like,</i>
<i>"Listen. We don't know what to tell you."</i>

527
00:27:24,727 --> 00:27:27,438
<i>"Hell, you made</i>
<i>some bad decisions along the way."</i>

528
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:31,526
<i>"Now you gotta deal with this.</i>
<i>We can't help you."</i>

529
00:27:31,609 --> 00:27:34,529
<i>They're like,</i>
<i>"Yeah, I know it's raining out there</i>

530
00:27:34,612 --> 00:27:36,739
<i>and that ditch is gonna be full of water."</i>

531
00:27:38,199 --> 00:27:39,575
<i>"Just get down in it."</i>

532
00:27:41,786 --> 00:27:44,038
<i>"Yeah. It's December. It's gonna be cold."</i>

533
00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:47,709
<i>"You're probably gonna get sick.</i>
<i>Just get down in there."</i>

534
00:27:50,378 --> 00:27:53,089
<i>"Listen. We know</i>
<i>you won't have a radio out there."</i>

535
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:55,049
<i>"You won't know when this warning's over,</i>

536
00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:57,802
<i>but just stay there</i>
<i>till it quits raining I guess."</i>

537
00:27:57,885 --> 00:27:59,929
<i>"And just get down in there."</i>

538
00:28:01,389 --> 00:28:04,976
<i>I like that the other option they give you</i>
<i>is go to a neighbor's house.</i>

539
00:28:05,059 --> 00:28:07,437
<i>I don't know</i>
<i>what trailer parks they know about,</i>

540
00:28:08,563 --> 00:28:12,775
<i>but every trailer park I ever lived in,</i>
<i>my neighbor also lived in a trailer.</i>

541
00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:16,571
<i>It's like they just want us</i>
<i>to meet up in one.</i>

542
00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:18,906
<i>Maybe weight it down.</i>

543
00:28:20,950 --> 00:28:22,702
<i>And if we did have house neighbors,</i>

544
00:28:22,785 --> 00:28:25,371
<i>they're not so inviting</i>
<i>to the trailer park people.</i>

545
00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:28,166
<i>They're not like,</i>
<i>"Come on in and check out our stuff."</i>

546
00:28:28,249 --> 00:28:30,752
<i>"Tornado doesn't get it,</i>
<i>you can get it next week."</i>

547
00:28:32,545 --> 00:28:35,965
<i>Type of people that want you to take</i>
<i>your shoes off before you come in.</i>

548
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:40,011
<i>Show up at somebody's house they're like,</i>
<i>"Come in. Mind taking off your shoes?"</i>

549
00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:41,846
<i>I'm like, "Nah, I'll just go home."</i>

550
00:28:43,431 --> 00:28:46,684
<i>"I wish you told me on the phone.</i>
<i>I wouldn't even have come over."</i>

551
00:28:48,603 --> 00:28:52,231
<i>Got me lounging around in my socks</i>
<i>like we're about to do yoga in here.</i>

552
00:28:52,815 --> 00:28:55,693
<i>They're like, "Namaste."</i>
<i>I'm like, "Nah-I'm-gon'-leave."</i>

553
00:28:57,278 --> 00:29:00,406
<i>"Let me get out of here."</i>
<i>But we weren't real poor, growing up.</i>

554
00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:03,993
<i>We just didn't have everything.</i>
<i>I never got ice cream, growing up.</i>

555
00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:06,579
<i>My mom used to just pour milk into a bowl,</i>

556
00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:08,998
<i>then she'd call me</i>
<i>into the room and go, "Well…</i>

557
00:29:09,582 --> 00:29:10,541
<i>you're too late."</i>

558
00:29:12,585 --> 00:29:14,587
<i>[audience laughing]</i>

559
00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:19,675
<i>It's like, "I guess you'll come</i>
<i>next time I call you."</i>

560
00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:22,762
<i>"Don't go laying down in the ditch."</i>

561
00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,808
<i>"Messing up that new wolf shirt</i>
<i>I got you out there."</i>

562
00:29:27,391 --> 00:29:29,101
<i>"Paid good money for that thing."</i>

563
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:32,897
<i>My parents got divorced when I was two.</i>

564
00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:36,067
<i>Uh, then there was a custody battle</i>
<i>and my mom lost.</i>

565
00:29:36,150 --> 00:29:38,528
<i>So I had to go live with her, and, uh…</i>

566
00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:42,740
<i>-[audience applauds]</i>
<i>-That's true. And…</i>

567
00:29:42,824 --> 00:29:45,493
<i>We're having a good time.</i>
<i>This guy likes it. And, uh…</i>

568
00:29:45,576 --> 00:29:46,828
<i>We're having a good time.</i>

569
00:29:46,911 --> 00:29:49,413
<i>Parents are different today</i>
<i>than when I was growing up.</i>

570
00:29:49,497 --> 00:29:51,499
<i>Especially when it comes to pets, right?</i>

571
00:29:51,582 --> 00:29:55,211
<i>Today you might hear parents say,</i>
<i>"We gotta take our cat to the vet."</i>

572
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:58,923
<i>When I was growing up, my dad'd be like,</i>
<i>"We don't have a cat anymore."</i>

573
00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:01,342
<i>And that cat was gone.</i>

574
00:30:01,926 --> 00:30:05,763
<i>I couldn't even get mad about it.</i>
<i>I'd just say, "I hope we get another one."</i>

575
00:30:06,264 --> 00:30:08,307
<i>He's like, "We'll see what wanders up."</i>

576
00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:13,521
<i>'Cause we didn't have real pets.</i>
<i>We just had prisoners of nature.</i>

577
00:30:15,606 --> 00:30:18,943
<i>A dog would wander up,</i>
<i>we'd chain him to a tree. Right?</i>

578
00:30:19,861 --> 00:30:21,112
<i>There we go.</i>

579
00:30:26,868 --> 00:30:29,954
<i>We had the meanest cat</i>
<i>you ever seen for about two weeks.</i>

580
00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:31,581
<i>Found out it was a possum.</i>

581
00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:33,332
<i>[audience gasps and laughs]</i>

582
00:30:33,416 --> 00:30:35,459
<i>I told you we weren't readers. And, uh,</i>

583
00:30:36,627 --> 00:30:40,339
<i>there wasn't no Internet back then.</i>
<i>We just thought it was a weird breed.</i>

584
00:30:41,674 --> 00:30:43,009
<i>You ever seen a possum?</i>

585
00:30:43,092 --> 00:30:45,344
<i>You're not supposed to see 'em,</i>
<i>I don't think.</i>

586
00:30:46,721 --> 00:30:48,973
<i>They're definitely designed for the night.</i>

587
00:30:50,516 --> 00:30:54,478
<i>Every possum I've ever seen alive,</i>
<i>we made eye contact with each other.</i>

588
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:57,315
<i>In that moment,</i>
<i>that possum's saying to me,</i>

589
00:30:57,398 --> 00:30:59,525
<i>"You're not supposed</i>
<i>to be out here right now."</i>

590
00:31:00,151 --> 00:31:02,278
<i>"Okay. I didn't choose to look like this."</i>

591
00:31:02,945 --> 00:31:04,030
<i>"This is my time."</i>

592
00:31:05,114 --> 00:31:07,575
<i>"I'm out here</i>
<i>eating your trash right now."</i>

593
00:31:07,658 --> 00:31:09,827
<i>"Least you could do</i>
<i>is give me a little privacy."</i>

594
00:31:10,578 --> 00:31:12,163
<i>You ever go to somebody's house</i>

595
00:31:12,246 --> 00:31:15,499
<i>and they got a dog</i>
<i>that's barking at you, growling at you,</i>

596
00:31:15,583 --> 00:31:17,418
<i>and they go, "Ah, he won't bite"?</i>

597
00:31:18,169 --> 00:31:19,962
<i>It's like, "Why you think that?"</i>

598
00:31:20,963 --> 00:31:24,383
<i>"'Cause he's never done it before?</i>
<i>Well, maybe today is the day."</i>

599
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,762
<i>"'Cause he looks like he wants to bite."</i>

600
00:31:27,845 --> 00:31:31,349
<i>They're always like,</i>
<i>"Well, he might lick you to death."</i>

601
00:31:31,432 --> 00:31:32,683
<i>I'm like, "Death?"</i>

602
00:31:34,518 --> 00:31:36,187
<i>"Who said anything about dying?"</i>

603
00:31:37,063 --> 00:31:40,942
<i>"I'm just worried about being bitten.</i>
<i>I don't know why you brought up death."</i>

604
00:31:41,609 --> 00:31:45,321
<i>I just think it's a weird idea 'cause</i>
<i>the dog looks like it wants to bite you.</i>

605
00:31:45,404 --> 00:31:48,991
<i>It's like you show up at somebody's house</i>
<i>and there's some guy with a knife.</i>

606
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:50,743
<i>He's just doing like this.</i>

607
00:31:52,995 --> 00:31:55,039
<i>"Huh? Huh!"</i>

608
00:31:56,165 --> 00:31:56,999
<i>"Huh?"</i>

609
00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:58,626
<i>"Huh?"</i>

610
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:01,712
<i>And they're like, "Ah, he won't stab you."</i>

611
00:32:01,796 --> 00:32:03,631
<i>[audience laughs]</i>

612
00:32:05,883 --> 00:32:08,219
<i>"Yeah. He might lick you to death."</i>

613
00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:12,473
<i>"Yeah. He'll settle down in a minute."</i>

614
00:32:13,933 --> 00:32:16,102
<i>"He's just not used</i>
<i>to being around people."</i>

615
00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:20,606
<i>All right. Hey, thank you very much, guys.</i>
<i>I appreciate you.</i>

616
00:32:20,690 --> 00:32:22,858
<i>[audience cheers and applauds]</i>

617
00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:23,859
<i>Thank you.</i>

618
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,362
<i>["Workin' Man Blues" plays]</i>

619
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:28,447
<i>[audience cheers]</i>

620
00:32:30,116 --> 00:32:32,660
<i>♪ It's a big job getting by ♪</i>

621
00:32:32,743 --> 00:32:34,996
<i>♪ With nine kids and a wife ♪</i>

622
00:32:37,373 --> 00:32:41,377
<i>♪ Yeah, but I've been a working man</i>
<i>Dang near all my life ♪</i>

623
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,087
<i>♪ And I'll keep on working ♪</i>

624
00:32:44,380 --> 00:32:48,009
<i>♪ Long as my two hands are fit to use ♪</i>

625
00:32:51,012 --> 00:32:53,347
<i>♪ I'll drink my beer at a tavern ♪</i>

626
00:32:53,431 --> 00:32:57,101
<i>♪ And sing a little bit</i>
<i>Of these working man blues ♪</i>

627
00:33:00,021 --> 00:33:02,565
<i>♪ I keep my nose on the grindstone ♪</i>

628
00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:04,442
<i>♪ Work hard every day ♪</i>

629
00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:08,654
<i>♪ Get tired on the weekend</i>
<i>After I draw my pay ♪</i>

630
00:33:08,738 --> 00:33:10,656
<i>♪ But I go back working ♪</i>

631
00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:14,994
<i>♪ Come Monday morning</i>
<i>I'm right back with the crew… ♪</i>