1
00:00:01,485 --> 00:00:06,839
♪
2
00:00:06,916 --> 00:00:08,156
Zoey: Growing up,
I'd always wondered
3
00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:10,176
what fate would have
in store for me.
4
00:00:10,253 --> 00:00:12,069
Who would I be?
5
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Would I change the world?
6
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Would I ever successfully
pull off horizontal stripes?
7
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And while fate hadn't revealed
8
00:00:19,262 --> 00:00:20,427
the answers
to all my questions,
9
00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:23,430
it had revealed
the answer to one,
10
00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:26,767
and it was a biggie.
11
00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:28,602
Because on that
fateful night in Mexico,
12
00:00:28,679 --> 00:00:34,425
I said "yes" to becoming
Mrs. Zoey Johnson-Jackson.
13
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Rolls right off the tongue,
doesn't it?
14
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♪ Serve it on a platter ♪
15
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After three long years
of ups and downs with Aaron,
16
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fate had finally
brought us together
17
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on a moonlit beach in Mexico
18
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to celebrate our spontaneous
quickie wedding.
19
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And just when
I was starting to think
20
00:00:51,794 --> 00:00:54,887
I had fate
fully in my corner...
21
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[ Siren whoops ]
Officer:
On your feet!
22
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Oh, my God.
Oh, snap.
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Um, uh...
24
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♪
25
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Officer #2: All right.
I learned that fate
26
00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:06,791
was a sometimes-y ass bitch.
27
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♪
28
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♪ Watch out, world,
I'm grown now ♪
29
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♪ I'm grown ♪
30
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♪ Learn something new
every day ♪
31
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♪ I don't know,
so I'ma feel my way ♪
32
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♪ Got the weight of
the world on me ♪
33
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♪ But no regrets,
this is what I say ♪
34
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♪ Watch out, world,
I'm grown now ♪
35
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♪ I'm grown ♪
♪ You can tell me ♪
36
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♪ My heart beating so loud ♪
37
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♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪
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♪ I'm grown ♪
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♪
40
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Arrested?
I am so...humiliated.
41
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This is so
humiliating, right?
42
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Yeah, yeah, no.
It's definitely, uh,
43
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not a moment
of excellence.
44
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I mean, how did this
even happen?
45
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Aaron, what are
the chances?
46
00:01:56,342 --> 00:01:57,842
Well, I think the chances
are pretty good
47
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if you steal a giant piñata in
the middle of a resort town.
48
00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:01,269
But look, let's not
make this a big deal.
49
00:02:01,347 --> 00:02:04,348
It's Mexico. The cops are just
trying to scare us.
50
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:05,683
It's like that show
"Scared Straight,"
but in Spanish.
51
00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:06,867
I feel like all they want
is some money, maybe,
52
00:02:06,944 --> 00:02:08,853
and then...
53
00:02:08,855 --> 00:02:10,187
all this
will be behind us.
54
00:02:10,189 --> 00:02:10,963
You think so?
Yes.
55
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Officer: Vamos.
Okay. Hi.
56
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You ain't gotta
push me, man.
57
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Listen, I spent all my
money at the chapel.
58
00:02:17,196 --> 00:02:19,171
How much you got?
I got...nothing.
59
00:02:19,248 --> 00:02:21,866
I've got nothing, Aaron.
What are we going to do?
60
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'Cause I'm gonna die
in jail.
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You are a year older than me.
You have lived.
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Okay, I'm gonna tell you
what we're not gonna do,
and that's freak out,
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because when you freak out,
I freak out.
Okay.
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So, what we're gonna do is,
we're gonna hit Doug.
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He's gonna come to
the station with some cash.
Mm-hmm.
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And then
we'll be free to go.
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Yeah, we just gotta
hang tight. Phone.
68
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Okay, got it.
I got it.
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00:02:38,384 --> 00:02:39,658
You can just --
[ Laughs ]
One sec.
70
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[ Laughs ]
The wife.
[ Laughs ]
71
00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,553
Happy wife, happy life,
am I right?
72
00:02:42,555 --> 00:02:46,423
[ Line rings ]
I don't think
he understood me.
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[ Band playing lively
mariachi music ]
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♪
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[ Cellphone vibrates ]
The secret
to tres leches
76
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is that sneaky-ass
third level of milk
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really makes it hit.
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Bro, enough about your
little soggy dessert.
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00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:00,237
Can we get out of here?
80
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I-I don't enjoy partying
with 15-year-olds.
81
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:05,259
We're partying with
Lisette-Maria and Camilla.
82
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:07,094
I linked up with two
local baddies.
83
00:03:07,171 --> 00:03:08,412
They don't speak
any English,
84
00:03:08,414 --> 00:03:12,433
I don't speak any Spanish,
and you speak both.
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I mean, those are literally
grown-ass women.
86
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Are we not
having a good time?
No, we're not.
87
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Bro, look.
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This just isn't
what I expected, man.
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00:03:18,849 --> 00:03:20,366
I just thought we
was coming to the party,
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00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:22,609
I would help you translate
a little Español,
91
00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:26,096
and then, you know,
we Ciudad Aplastar!
92
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Expectations
is joy's sworn enemy.
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Bro.
Listen, you're not
having a good time
94
00:03:31,938 --> 00:03:32,878
because you can't
appreciate the gift
95
00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:34,271
that's right
in front of you.
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♪
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♪
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[ Cellphone vibrates ]
99
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Honestly,
the only thing crazier
100
00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:53,457
than you hacking and smashing
Javi's tablet
101
00:03:53,459 --> 00:03:55,401
is you taking a flight
out of Mexico
102
00:03:55,478 --> 00:03:57,478
in the middle
of the night.
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00:03:57,554 --> 00:04:00,147
Actually, the smashing
shows a fiery temper,
104
00:04:00,224 --> 00:04:01,240
which means
crazy in the sack.
105
00:04:01,317 --> 00:04:02,191
Mm.
So I take that back.
106
00:04:04,487 --> 00:04:05,727
[ Sighs ] Hi, guys.
107
00:04:05,805 --> 00:04:08,138
Um, sorry to interrupt.
108
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Ana...
109
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can I talk to you
for a minute?
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Now's not
a good time, bro.
111
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[ Sighs ]
112
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Ana.
113
00:04:17,574 --> 00:04:18,090
Vivek: Come on.
114
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Really?
115
00:04:22,004 --> 00:04:24,246
Oh, God.
116
00:04:24,323 --> 00:04:27,491
So, you're gonna fly
standby back to L.A.
117
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while Javi goes
118
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to an all-you can eat
chilaquiles bar with Vivek?
119
00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:33,180
Is that --
That's what's happening?
120
00:04:33,257 --> 00:04:37,001
Okay, I guess I didn't think
things all the way through.
121
00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:38,535
I was mad, and I didn't
want to be around him.
122
00:04:38,537 --> 00:04:40,187
I had to take
some sort of stand.
123
00:04:40,264 --> 00:04:41,188
Yeah, your stand
should have been
124
00:04:41,265 --> 00:04:42,597
making him go back
to L.A., okay?
125
00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:44,525
He's the one
who gave you an STD.
126
00:04:44,601 --> 00:04:46,434
Oof.
No, well --
127
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Technically,
he doesn't have it.
128
00:04:49,849 --> 00:04:50,623
But he could have
given it to me,
129
00:04:50,699 --> 00:04:52,458
had he contracted it.
130
00:04:52,535 --> 00:04:54,685
Which he didn't.
131
00:04:54,687 --> 00:04:57,037
Okay, I'm sorry, what?
132
00:04:57,114 --> 00:04:59,023
So you took us on this
whole song and dance
133
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when you knew that Javi
didn't even have anything?
134
00:05:01,694 --> 00:05:03,043
I know we did not just
waste a solid 13 minutes
135
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,287
on this nonsense.
Okay, wait.
136
00:05:05,364 --> 00:05:08,382
So no one here thinks that he
was wrong for not telling me?
137
00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:11,218
I just don't know
if I care anymore, so...
138
00:05:11,295 --> 00:05:13,037
Okay, listen.
I don't understand
139
00:05:13,039 --> 00:05:14,221
why people say
they want full disclosure
140
00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:15,372
in a relationship
when they obviously don't.
141
00:05:15,374 --> 00:05:17,541
Now I see why Javi
kept his mouth shut.
142
00:05:17,543 --> 00:05:20,635
And, shit, I should have kept
my mouth shut with Doug.
143
00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:22,804
Well, I kept my mouth
shut with Phil,
144
00:05:22,882 --> 00:05:24,715
and it didn't work out
great for me, so...
145
00:05:24,717 --> 00:05:26,550
I mean,
what is his problem?
146
00:05:26,552 --> 00:05:28,827
Why can't he just
be honest with me?
147
00:05:28,904 --> 00:05:30,888
Girl, I don't know,
but it sounds like trust
148
00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:31,664
is the real chlamydia
in this relationship,
149
00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:33,891
and it needs to
get treated.
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00:05:33,893 --> 00:05:37,485
♪
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00:05:37,563 --> 00:05:39,563
[ Indistinct chatter ]
152
00:05:39,565 --> 00:05:39,788
[ Telephone rings ]
153
00:05:42,251 --> 00:05:45,069
Oh, my God.
154
00:05:45,071 --> 00:05:46,753
This shit
is getting real.
155
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,088
Aaron, I'm starting to sweat
behind my knees,
156
00:05:48,165 --> 00:05:50,591
and I think
I'm having my first
157
00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:52,076
international
panic attack.
158
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[ Breathing heavily ]
Honey, it's okay,
all right?
159
00:05:53,746 --> 00:05:55,003
Look, there's nothing
to worry about.
160
00:05:55,081 --> 00:05:58,098
L-Look, they're handcuffed.
We're not handcuffed.
161
00:05:58,175 --> 00:06:00,359
If we were in trouble,
you think they'd let us
wander around uncuffed?
162
00:06:00,436 --> 00:06:02,677
No. Okay.
No, you're right.
163
00:06:02,755 --> 00:06:04,088
I'm okay.
[ Laughs weakly ]
164
00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:08,033
Okay, now, I'm gonna go
talk to our man up here, uh,
165
00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:09,943
and get this
whole thing sorted out.
166
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:11,278
We're gonna get back to the
villa, where we should be.
167
00:06:11,355 --> 00:06:13,780
This may just be like
a little Venmo situation.
168
00:06:13,857 --> 00:06:15,541
Watch me work.
169
00:06:15,618 --> 00:06:16,709
Excuse me, Señor-o?
170
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:18,210
Uh, can I talk to you
for a minute?
171
00:06:18,287 --> 00:06:19,786
Look, I know you probably
think that I am
172
00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:22,940
an obnoxious American tourist
here to exploit your country
173
00:06:22,942 --> 00:06:23,957
and rape your land
for its resources.
174
00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:24,958
That's not
the case at all,
175
00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:26,793
because I'm not
even American.
176
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:28,554
I'm African-American.
Oh, God.
177
00:06:28,631 --> 00:06:31,131
Anyways, uh, listen --
I don't want to waste
your precious time.
178
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:32,799
I know you're a busy man,
so I'm gonna get straight to it.
179
00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:35,452
What is it gonna take
180
00:06:35,454 --> 00:06:36,228
to get me and my beautiful bride
out of here?
181
00:06:36,305 --> 00:06:38,564
[ Ding! ]
182
00:06:38,641 --> 00:06:39,473
Now, I don't have any money
on me right now, per se,
183
00:06:39,549 --> 00:06:40,624
but I do have some money
184
00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:41,383
back at the villa
we're staying at,
185
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:43,961
and this just came to me --
186
00:06:43,963 --> 00:06:45,404
we should go get it
together -- if you want.
187
00:06:45,481 --> 00:06:47,631
Because I'm saying,
the place is very cool.
188
00:06:47,633 --> 00:06:49,074
We have, um,
a lot of cute chicks.
189
00:06:49,151 --> 00:06:50,968
Uh...I mean,
are they crazy?
190
00:06:50,970 --> 00:06:52,986
Sure, but cute nonetheless,
191
00:06:53,063 --> 00:06:54,972
and I'm willing to
make that happen for you.
192
00:06:54,974 --> 00:06:56,807
I'm talking about
carnitas, uh --
193
00:06:56,809 --> 00:06:59,977
uh, shredded pork,
um, hot sauce,
194
00:06:59,979 --> 00:07:01,828
el swimming pool,
you know what I'm saying?
195
00:07:01,905 --> 00:07:03,905
Yeah. You don't even
need swim trunks.
196
00:07:03,983 --> 00:07:05,149
I got the swim trunks.
What size you wear?
197
00:07:05,151 --> 00:07:06,925
Extra large?
198
00:07:07,002 --> 00:07:08,502
Nah, you're a large.
199
00:07:08,578 --> 00:07:10,763
Slim, but fit.
200
00:07:10,839 --> 00:07:12,823
Whatever you're into.
201
00:07:12,825 --> 00:07:13,748
If you can just write
your sizes down,
202
00:07:13,826 --> 00:07:15,159
that'll work out.
203
00:07:15,161 --> 00:07:16,769
[ Ding! ]
204
00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:18,086
[ Whispering ]
I don't know.
205
00:07:18,164 --> 00:07:19,163
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
206
00:07:19,165 --> 00:07:20,939
♪
207
00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:30,783
So, I guess it wasn't just
a little Venmo situation, huh?
208
00:07:30,859 --> 00:07:32,150
I don't know what
you're complaining about.
209
00:07:32,227 --> 00:07:33,677
You're not the one
handcuffed to a chair.
210
00:07:33,679 --> 00:07:36,847
Well, I'm also not the one
who -- hmm, I don't know --
211
00:07:36,849 --> 00:07:38,682
solicited a guard.
212
00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,684
Oh, well, I'm --
I'm -- I'm sorry, okay?
213
00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:42,352
That I offered a man
some swimming trunks
214
00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:44,538
so he could cool off
from a long day of jail work.
215
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:46,857
You know what?
We're not gonna throw
the blame anywhere.
216
00:07:46,859 --> 00:07:47,966
It's no one's fault
that we're here.
217
00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:50,452
Mm.
But to be clear,
218
00:07:50,529 --> 00:07:52,379
there is one infraction
that put us here,
219
00:07:52,456 --> 00:07:54,214
and that is you
stealing the piñata.
220
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:55,382
Mm. Well, they wouldn't
have found us
221
00:07:55,459 --> 00:07:56,975
if we didn't have to
linger on the beach
222
00:07:57,052 --> 00:07:58,218
due to your
delayed performance.
223
00:07:58,295 --> 00:08:00,646
My d--
224
00:08:00,723 --> 00:08:02,222
You watch your mouth.
225
00:08:02,299 --> 00:08:03,557
It's called
a penile pause.
226
00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:05,818
All right?
And it was intentional.
227
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:07,635
Oh, is that right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that is right.
228
00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:09,637
And you know what?
Maybe I was a little tired
229
00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:11,139
because I had to cater
to your every need.
230
00:08:11,217 --> 00:08:13,158
Oh, got you.
So it's my fault?
231
00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:14,660
I'm just saying, you were
walking around sulking all day
232
00:08:14,737 --> 00:08:18,146
because nobody wanted to do
the activities you wanted to do.
233
00:08:18,224 --> 00:08:19,556
I would have been fine
chilling at the villa,
234
00:08:19,558 --> 00:08:21,241
laying back,
incessantly having sex.
235
00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:22,392
Of course you would.
Know what I mean?
236
00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:23,818
Because that's all
you ever want to do,
237
00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:28,081
which is exactly how we
ended up on the stupid beach.
238
00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:29,583
So, the beach sex
was my idea?
239
00:08:29,659 --> 00:08:32,160
You literally said,
"I have an idea.
240
00:08:32,238 --> 00:08:34,847
Let's go have
beach sex."
241
00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:36,515
Which is why
we got arrested.
242
00:08:38,335 --> 00:08:39,667
I don't remember that.
243
00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:42,354
Okay, and we got arrested
because you stole a piñata,
244
00:08:42,431 --> 00:08:44,248
which led them to us
on the beach.
245
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:45,916
All that other stuff --
the theft,
246
00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:47,509
the ridiculous marriage --
that's your fault, Zoey.
247
00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:49,920
Okay, fine.
248
00:08:49,922 --> 00:08:50,937
You know, I'll take
all the responsibility
249
00:08:51,014 --> 00:08:52,272
for the many mistakes
I made tonight,
250
00:08:52,349 --> 00:08:55,776
the biggest one being that
I am now legally bound
251
00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:58,186
to a horn-dog with
a rattail named Avery.
252
00:08:58,264 --> 00:08:59,780
Yeah, it's hard being married
to you, too, Zoey.
253
00:09:01,934 --> 00:09:02,491
Because of your
personality.
254
00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:06,787
[ Telephone rings ]
255
00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:08,696
[ Radio chirps ]
256
00:09:08,774 --> 00:09:09,122
Can I please
get some water?
257
00:09:09,199 --> 00:09:10,698
It's hot!
258
00:09:10,776 --> 00:09:20,041
♪
259
00:09:20,119 --> 00:09:21,451
Looks like, uh,
you guys
260
00:09:21,453 --> 00:09:24,045
are really vibing
over here, huh?
261
00:09:24,123 --> 00:09:25,138
I actually have no idea
what she's saying,
262
00:09:25,215 --> 00:09:27,065
but it sounds fire.
263
00:09:27,142 --> 00:09:28,809
♪
264
00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:29,893
[ Speaking Spanish ]
265
00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:33,238
[ Chuckles ]
266
00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:37,409
Bro, she said we 'bout to go
el bang-a en el baño.
267
00:09:37,486 --> 00:09:39,561
What?
268
00:09:39,638 --> 00:09:41,305
Watch my cake.
I'm going to work, my boy.
269
00:09:41,307 --> 00:09:42,414
Mm-hmm.
270
00:09:42,491 --> 00:09:45,918
♪
271
00:09:45,994 --> 00:09:47,811
Whatever that means.
[ Sighs ]
272
00:09:47,813 --> 00:09:53,592
♪
273
00:09:53,669 --> 00:09:55,210
[ Telephone rings ]
274
00:09:58,157 --> 00:10:00,173
You want to know
what's stupid?
275
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:01,992
That we waited
this long.
276
00:10:01,994 --> 00:10:02,717
You know,
to be together.
277
00:10:05,331 --> 00:10:06,496
[ Sighs ] It was never
the right timing.
278
00:10:06,498 --> 00:10:07,831
You were -- You were
either with Luca,
279
00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:09,666
or you were -- you were
on tour with Joey Bada$$.
280
00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:13,612
I was either with Rochelle
or saving the university.
281
00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:14,613
And then, finally,
after three years,
282
00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:17,765
we're -- we're
actually together,
283
00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:18,766
and within two weeks
284
00:10:18,844 --> 00:10:22,179
and an amazing
first date, we...
285
00:10:22,181 --> 00:10:24,181
decide to get married.
286
00:10:24,183 --> 00:10:25,849
[ Indistinct chatter ]
287
00:10:25,851 --> 00:10:26,608
It's insanity.
288
00:10:26,685 --> 00:10:29,110
It's...
289
00:10:29,188 --> 00:10:31,037
What's wrong with us?
290
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,114
[ Radio chatter ]
291
00:10:33,192 --> 00:10:35,192
Okay, yeah, s-sure.
292
00:10:35,194 --> 00:10:38,136
Getting married
on our first date
293
00:10:38,213 --> 00:10:41,122
was a dumb, drunk,
impulsive thing to do,
294
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,793
but isn't the real issue
right now that we're in jail?
295
00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:47,420
Yeah, but we're
only in here
296
00:10:47,498 --> 00:10:49,648
because every time
we're together,
297
00:10:49,725 --> 00:10:50,983
we don't act
like ourselves.
298
00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:55,637
It's like we become these
two spontaneous idiots
299
00:10:55,714 --> 00:10:57,397
that-- that --
that neither of us
300
00:10:57,474 --> 00:10:59,716
can pull the other
back from.
301
00:10:59,718 --> 00:11:01,902
But, Aaron,
that's not true.
302
00:11:01,978 --> 00:11:03,645
Yes.
Yes, it is, Zoey.
303
00:11:03,722 --> 00:11:05,980
Uh, think about it.
304
00:11:06,058 --> 00:11:09,167
Y-You stole a piñata
the size of a Kia,
305
00:11:09,244 --> 00:11:14,564
a-and I kind of just
sat back and let it happen.
306
00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:17,158
Just like I let this
dumb-ass wedding happen.
307
00:11:17,236 --> 00:11:19,236
And that's why we're here
308
00:11:19,238 --> 00:11:22,239
and I'm cuffed
to this dumb-ass chair.
309
00:11:22,241 --> 00:11:26,167
Well, maybe we're cursed...
310
00:11:26,245 --> 00:11:28,094
because of how we started
this relationship
311
00:11:28,171 --> 00:11:30,080
in the first place.
312
00:11:30,082 --> 00:11:34,342
You know, the whole Rochelle
thing was super messy,
313
00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:38,030
so maybe
this is just karma.
314
00:11:38,106 --> 00:11:41,683
Karma, bad juju, curse --
whatever you want to call it,
315
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,428
it's just --
316
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,020
At the end of the day,
it's obvious
317
00:11:46,098 --> 00:11:47,372
that we bring out
the worst in each other.
318
00:11:47,449 --> 00:11:50,617
♪
319
00:11:50,694 --> 00:11:52,285
Wow. Um...
320
00:11:52,362 --> 00:11:55,697
♪
321
00:11:55,774 --> 00:12:00,201
Well, maybe instead
of cursed, we're lucky,
322
00:12:00,279 --> 00:12:01,127
because at least now
we know how we feel
323
00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:03,613
about each other
two weeks in.
324
00:12:03,615 --> 00:12:06,466
♪
325
00:12:11,548 --> 00:12:13,398
So...
326
00:12:13,475 --> 00:12:14,849
[ Radio chatter ]
327
00:12:19,147 --> 00:12:20,722
[ Lively mariachi music
plays over speakers ]
328
00:12:20,799 --> 00:12:23,075
She's mad at me.
329
00:12:23,151 --> 00:12:25,026
She hacked my tablet,
then smashed it.
330
00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:28,822
I mean, half my thesis
was on that thing.
331
00:12:31,326 --> 00:12:33,901
Chlamydia's not even
that crazy, right?
332
00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,570
[ Stammers, sighs ]
Look, man.
333
00:12:35,647 --> 00:12:37,481
I always try
to ride for dicks --
334
00:12:37,483 --> 00:12:39,483
as in "dicks over chicks" --
but I can't.
335
00:12:39,485 --> 00:12:41,593
I'm sorry.
336
00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:43,261
For sure, bro.
337
00:12:43,338 --> 00:12:44,337
You don't need to
apologize.
338
00:12:44,414 --> 00:12:46,172
What I'm trying to say is,
339
00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:47,099
I learned that lying
to someone you care about
340
00:12:47,175 --> 00:12:49,601
never pays off.
341
00:12:49,678 --> 00:12:50,268
I did the same thing
when I lied to Heidi
342
00:12:50,345 --> 00:12:52,512
about my drug dealing.
343
00:12:52,589 --> 00:12:53,263
It was the worst mistake
of my life.
344
00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:57,091
Really? Not the actual
drug-dealing?
345
00:12:57,169 --> 00:12:58,443
Are you kidding me?
346
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,338
There's nothing like dealing
a fistful of Captain Cody
347
00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:03,598
to a trembling
Latin professor.
348
00:13:03,675 --> 00:13:04,691
But, no,
it was the lying.
349
00:13:08,196 --> 00:13:10,271
So be grateful
you still have your chick.
350
00:13:10,349 --> 00:13:11,239
I just have my D.
351
00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:14,292
And a broken heart.
352
00:13:14,369 --> 00:13:16,853
♪
353
00:13:16,855 --> 00:13:18,613
[ Sighs ]
354
00:13:18,690 --> 00:13:19,947
Thanks, bud.
355
00:13:20,025 --> 00:13:26,379
♪
356
00:13:26,456 --> 00:13:28,456
Guard:
Hey, shredded pork.
357
00:13:28,534 --> 00:13:30,884
Let's go.
358
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,870
You're being released.
About time.
359
00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:35,313
Thank you, Señor-o.
Appreciate you.
360
00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:37,223
All right, Zoey, come on.
We're out of here.
361
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,391
Let's go.
No.
Um, no--
362
00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:39,059
Excu--
You're out of here.
363
00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:40,819
She stays.
364
00:13:40,896 --> 00:13:43,321
What are you talking about?
I'm not leaving without her.
365
00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:44,898
Let's go. Come on.
No, Aaron, it's --
366
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:46,716
You can both stay.
Fine.
No, we're -- honestly.
367
00:13:46,718 --> 00:13:47,717
Aaron, all they wanted
was one person
368
00:13:47,719 --> 00:13:49,644
to admit
they were guilty
369
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:51,071
of stealing the piñata,
so I did.
370
00:13:51,147 --> 00:13:53,331
This was on me.
Just let me own up.
371
00:13:53,408 --> 00:13:55,000
Why-- Why-- Why would you
do something like that?
372
00:13:55,077 --> 00:13:57,169
Why the hell would you
do something like that?
Aaron, I'm sorry.
373
00:13:57,245 --> 00:13:58,728
Oh, my God.
Hey --
Hey, why -- Hey!
374
00:13:58,730 --> 00:13:59,913
Hey!
Hey, watch the way
you touch her, bro!
375
00:13:59,989 --> 00:14:02,248
Over a piñata?
Are you guys kidding me?
Hold on.
376
00:14:02,325 --> 00:14:03,416
Vámonos!
Hey, move. Move.
377
00:14:03,493 --> 00:14:05,510
Get off me!
Zoey!
378
00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:07,846
Get off me!
Zoey! Zoey!
379
00:14:07,923 --> 00:14:09,514
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
380
00:14:14,246 --> 00:14:17,247
[ Indistinct chatter,
door slams ]
381
00:14:17,249 --> 00:14:18,582
[ Telephone rings ]
Yo, come on, my man.
382
00:14:18,584 --> 00:14:19,583
Is this really
necessary?
383
00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:21,008
You're m--
You're really making her
384
00:14:21,086 --> 00:14:22,419
spend the night in there
over a piñata?
385
00:14:22,421 --> 00:14:26,089
If this is about money,
I can go to an ATM right now.
386
00:14:26,091 --> 00:14:27,757
I told you.
It's too late.
387
00:14:27,759 --> 00:14:29,109
Just come back
in the morning for her.
388
00:14:29,185 --> 00:14:30,760
No, no.
[Bleep] that!
389
00:14:30,762 --> 00:14:33,187
I'm not going anywhere.
That's fine.
390
00:14:33,265 --> 00:14:34,689
I'd be happy to arrest you
for harassing an officer
391
00:14:34,766 --> 00:14:36,449
and throw you
in there, too.
392
00:14:36,526 --> 00:14:38,952
♪
393
00:14:39,028 --> 00:14:40,862
[ Scoffs ]
394
00:14:40,939 --> 00:14:42,439
[ Sighs ]
395
00:14:42,441 --> 00:14:45,959
♪ All I had was you ♪
396
00:14:46,035 --> 00:14:48,202
♪
397
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,964
♪ All I had was you ♪
398
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,375
♪
399
00:14:54,453 --> 00:14:58,546
♪ All I had was you ♪
400
00:14:58,624 --> 00:15:00,473
♪
401
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:02,550
♪ All I had was you ♪
402
00:15:02,628 --> 00:15:04,385
Ana: I just don't get it.
Why?
403
00:15:04,463 --> 00:15:07,464
Why is it so difficult
404
00:15:07,466 --> 00:15:11,985
for you to communicate
honestly with me?
405
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:12,802
Because you know that
your reactions
406
00:15:12,804 --> 00:15:15,730
can be a little...
407
00:15:15,807 --> 00:15:18,083
[ Sighs ]
408
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,826
A lot.
[ Scoffs ]
409
00:15:19,903 --> 00:15:20,919
[ Scoffs ]
410
00:15:20,996 --> 00:15:25,072
My reactions are
perfectly calibrated.
411
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:28,151
First, when we're
about to have sex,
412
00:15:28,153 --> 00:15:29,152
you tell me
we won't be having sex.
413
00:15:29,154 --> 00:15:32,322
And now...
414
00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:33,247
now I'm dealing
with this STD mess.
415
00:15:33,325 --> 00:15:35,659
I mean, it -- it --
it's obvious
416
00:15:35,661 --> 00:15:36,935
you have a difficult time
sharing information.
417
00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:38,920
No, it's obvious that
you have trust issues,
418
00:15:38,997 --> 00:15:41,498
and I trigger those.
419
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,590
Well, I don't know how
to fix that overnight.
420
00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:44,668
Definitely not
gonna fix it
421
00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:45,518
while we're on vacation
with your friends.
422
00:15:47,764 --> 00:15:49,673
Nope.
423
00:15:49,675 --> 00:15:50,690
I think I should go.
424
00:15:53,512 --> 00:15:56,012
You enjoy your weekend,
425
00:15:56,014 --> 00:15:57,238
and we can talk
when you get back to L.A.
426
00:15:59,851 --> 00:16:01,943
I think that sounds
like a good idea.
427
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:04,854
[ Scoffs lightly ]
428
00:16:04,856 --> 00:16:05,797
[ Laughs ]
429
00:16:07,784 --> 00:16:08,616
[ Sighs ]
430
00:16:08,694 --> 00:16:13,287
♪
431
00:16:13,365 --> 00:16:14,472
[ Door opens, slams ]
432
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:22,038
♪
433
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,890
After surviving
a night in jail,
434
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:27,894
it seemed fate had answered
a few more questions --
435
00:16:27,971 --> 00:16:30,547
like, "Would I ever
serve time in jail?"
436
00:16:30,549 --> 00:16:32,065
Turns out the answer was yes.
437
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:36,386
Would it be the most
terrifying night of my life?
438
00:16:36,388 --> 00:16:38,813
That answer was also yes.
439
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:41,741
[ Birds chirping ]
440
00:16:41,818 --> 00:16:42,726
Um...
441
00:16:42,728 --> 00:16:43,576
Hey.
442
00:16:45,989 --> 00:16:49,507
I cannot believe
you slept here.
[ Inhales deeply ]
443
00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:50,750
Yeah, I wasn't about to
let you spend
444
00:16:50,827 --> 00:16:52,159
the night in there
by yourself.
445
00:16:52,237 --> 00:16:53,236
[ Chuckles ]
446
00:16:53,238 --> 00:16:56,756
♪
447
00:16:56,833 --> 00:17:00,910
When I saw Aaron that morning,
I had one more question --
448
00:17:00,912 --> 00:17:03,413
would I do it all over again
and spend a night in jail
449
00:17:03,415 --> 00:17:05,172
if it meant Aaron
would be released?
450
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,935
Surprisingly, the answer
was another yes.
451
00:17:09,012 --> 00:17:11,588
♪
452
00:17:11,590 --> 00:17:13,757
So, why'd you do it?
453
00:17:13,759 --> 00:17:14,366
Why did you take
the blame?
454
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,704
Because last night
when I was down and out
455
00:17:19,781 --> 00:17:21,706
and such a mess,
you rallied
456
00:17:21,783 --> 00:17:25,118
and gave me one of the most
amazing nights of my life.
457
00:17:27,439 --> 00:17:30,882
I just knew it was my turn
to finally rally for you.
458
00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:32,033
[ Huffs ]
459
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:35,461
And I'm really
sorry for everything.
460
00:17:35,538 --> 00:17:37,797
No, you have nothing
to apologize about.
461
00:17:37,874 --> 00:17:40,283
It's --
Last night was rough,
462
00:17:40,285 --> 00:17:43,377
and we both said things
we didn't mean.
463
00:17:43,455 --> 00:17:45,789
Yeah, and there was
a grain of truth
464
00:17:45,791 --> 00:17:48,141
to some of what we said --
like, um,
465
00:17:48,217 --> 00:17:50,460
maybe us getting married
466
00:17:50,462 --> 00:17:52,295
not being the brightest
decision we've ever made?
467
00:17:52,297 --> 00:17:55,298
[ Slowly ] Yep.
468
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:55,982
[ Normal ] You think maybe
we should undo it?
469
00:17:58,153 --> 00:18:00,728
I don't know.
470
00:18:00,806 --> 00:18:02,030
Do you think we should?
471
00:18:04,659 --> 00:18:07,068
Would it be awful
if I didn't want to?
472
00:18:07,145 --> 00:18:08,903
No, it'd be
a little romantic.
473
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:10,605
But completely insane.
474
00:18:10,682 --> 00:18:12,315
Completely.
[ Laughs ]
475
00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:14,667
[ Laughs ] Okay, then,
how about we agree
476
00:18:14,744 --> 00:18:17,078
that last night was
the craziest,
477
00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:20,247
most impulsively amazing
night of our lives
478
00:18:20,325 --> 00:18:24,327
and that that night should
stay right here in Mexico?
479
00:18:24,329 --> 00:18:25,328
I got to be honest.
There's --
480
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,347
There's something
extremely sexy
481
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:28,348
about being able to
call you my ex-wife
482
00:18:28,424 --> 00:18:29,349
and my girlfriend.
483
00:18:29,425 --> 00:18:32,518
[ Laughs ] Well, then.
484
00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:35,171
Aaron Jackson.
Yes?
485
00:18:35,173 --> 00:18:36,606
Will you divorce me?
486
00:18:38,526 --> 00:18:39,451
I'd be happy to.
487
00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:41,511
[ Laughs ]
488
00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:43,196
I love you.
489
00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:43,847
I love you too,
Freshman.
490
00:18:43,849 --> 00:18:45,623
Yeah?
491
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,441
So let's go
get unmarried!
492
00:18:47,519 --> 00:18:49,443
Let's do it.
After you.
Okay.
493
00:18:49,521 --> 00:18:51,629
Somewhere between
the Mexican beach,
494
00:18:51,706 --> 00:18:53,465
the Mexican jail,
and the Mexican chapel,
495
00:18:53,541 --> 00:18:56,025
we learned that without
a marriage application
496
00:18:56,027 --> 00:18:57,377
and a blood test,
497
00:18:57,453 --> 00:19:01,139
our short-lived union
wasn't so legal after all.
498
00:19:01,216 --> 00:19:04,976
But we also learned that
taking control of our destiny
499
00:19:05,053 --> 00:19:07,628
when fate wasn't
on our side
500
00:19:07,706 --> 00:19:09,205
was how we were
gonna stay together
501
00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:10,373
and continue to try
and bring out
502
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,649
the best in each other.
♪ Chemical ♪
503
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:18,639
♪ Yuh, it's so good, baby,
yuh, yuh, it's so good, baby ♪
504
00:19:18,717 --> 00:19:20,066
♪ Life's so good ♪
505
00:19:20,143 --> 00:19:22,309
[ Laughter ]
♪ It's so good, baby,
yuh, yuh ♪
506
00:19:22,387 --> 00:19:23,236
-Oh, my gosh.
-Good morning.
507
00:19:23,312 --> 00:19:24,570
Guys, hi.
You're finally back.
508
00:19:24,647 --> 00:19:27,056
Where were you
last night?
I mean, you know...
509
00:19:27,058 --> 00:19:28,500
nowhere crazy.
510
00:19:28,576 --> 00:19:30,894
Yeah, we just had a little
Mexican date night.
Mm-hmm.
511
00:19:30,896 --> 00:19:31,485
♪ When the chain go ♪
♪ The chain go! ♪
512
00:19:31,563 --> 00:19:33,730
This looks so fancy.
513
00:19:33,732 --> 00:19:35,507
♪ I'm a star, I'm a star
like Michael ♪
514
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:37,825
♪ Wanna be a big man ♪
All right so,
listen, Zoey.
515
00:19:37,903 --> 00:19:40,494
We were all
talking this morning
516
00:19:40,572 --> 00:19:41,754
about how ugly
last night got,
517
00:19:41,831 --> 00:19:44,757
and we are all sorry.
518
00:19:44,834 --> 00:19:46,000
Yeah, so, for the rest
of the trip,
519
00:19:46,077 --> 00:19:48,428
we have all committed
that everyone will be
520
00:19:48,504 --> 00:19:49,746
doing each other,
just like you wanted.
521
00:19:49,748 --> 00:19:52,582
[ Laughs ]
Really?
522
00:19:52,584 --> 00:19:53,099
[ Speaking Spanish ]
523
00:20:01,017 --> 00:20:02,425
Chingón
to senior year!
524
00:20:02,427 --> 00:20:04,928
-Okay. Senior year!
-Hey!
525
00:20:04,930 --> 00:20:06,446
♪ Sippin' bottles and the way
you lookin' so good ♪
526
00:20:06,522 --> 00:20:09,949
What?
You speak Spanish?
527
00:20:10,026 --> 00:20:12,268
So I didn't have to
translate you last night?
528
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:13,619
Of course not.
Your Spanish is terrible.
529
00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:14,620
I just saw you were in
your feelings yesterday,
530
00:20:14,697 --> 00:20:18,216
and I knew
you needed to win, so...
531
00:20:18,293 --> 00:20:20,218
Okay, can I just say
I love you all,
532
00:20:20,295 --> 00:20:22,870
and this is so sweet?
533
00:20:22,948 --> 00:20:24,781
This is gonna be
the best year ever.
534
00:20:24,783 --> 00:20:25,873
Cheers.
Luca: Cheers.
535
00:20:25,951 --> 00:20:26,891
-Big cheers.
-Big cheers!
536
00:20:26,968 --> 00:20:28,726
-Senior year.
-Senior year.
537
00:20:28,803 --> 00:20:30,228
You know that weird virus
538
00:20:30,305 --> 00:20:32,121
that's been ravaging
Asia and Europe?
539
00:20:32,123 --> 00:20:32,730
Yeah?
It's in the U.S. now.
540
00:20:35,143 --> 00:20:37,810
Yikes.
We'll probably be fine.
541
00:20:37,887 --> 00:20:39,295
I'm not worried
about it.
We're fine.
542
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:40,797
Cheers!
Cheers.
543
00:20:40,799 --> 00:20:42,389
Big cheers.
To senior year!
544
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:43,983
-Yeah!
-Ahh!
545
00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:44,892
-Oh!
-Cheers!
546
00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:45,818
Whoo!
547
00:20:45,895 --> 00:20:49,563
♪
548
00:20:49,641 --> 00:20:50,706
♪ It's so good ♪