There's nothing like watching
the meteoric rise of a superstar college athlete.
Kansas is up by 2 with seconds remaining.
Cal U has the ball.
Pass to Mooney just over half court.
Pulls up and hoists a 3.
It's good! Cal U wins!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Whoa! Yes!
Cash Mooney! Cash Mooney!
- Dean Parker eats wieners! - Who said that?
Julie, was that you?
There's also nothing like watching
the meteoric rise of a true romance.
That is your bae!
Cash and I had been together
for that perfect amount of time
for everyone on campus to get wonderfully jealous.
Things were going amazingly.
_
That is until he put my virginity on blast.
I'm gonna be famous for this.
And also for his murder.
♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪
♪ I'm grown ♪
♪ Learn something new every day ♪
♪ I don't know, so I'ma feel my way ♪
♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪
♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪
♪ Watch out world, I'm grown now ♪
- ♪ I'm grown ♪ - ♪ You can tell me ♪
♪ My heart beating so loud ♪
♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪
♪ I'm grown ♪
Cash, what the hell?
How could you put my business out there like that?
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
I screwed up,
but I immediately deleted it.
It had 130,000 views.
Look, it was stupid, and I overreacted,
but they were coming at you.
So what?
I told you something between you and I,
and now I'm a hashtag.
I feel awful.
You should.
You know what? I can't even look at you right now.
I got to go. Zoey, hold up.
Yo, Cash, what's up, my boy?
- What's up, man? - What's good, yo?
Ha, my boy.
Oh, hey.
- Any chance Zoey's around? - No.
She's where she always is... on the Mooney train!
Damn it, I worked on that all day. It's still not great.
Okay, well, I'm just gonna head back to my dorm
and take a pill I found in the armrest of a Lyft.
- Nomi. - Yeah?
Okay, look, I know I'm not all emotionally available
or able to experience empathy like Zoey,
but I can pretend to give a shit for a few minutes.
Well...
Okay.
You know that guy David I was dating?
Uh-huh.
I finally broke it off with him.
Why?
Well, everything was going fine,
but once I found out he was bisexual like me,
Bro!
I don't know. Something just changed.
I started to see him differently.
No matter how hard I tried to get it out of my head...
I just couldn't.
Yeah.
It was all me.
He totally didn't do anything wrong.
Ana, are you listening to me?
No.
Not even a little bit.
Really, dude?
Words.
They mean stuff.
But in digital marketing,
they can be the difference of
whether or not your message connects to your audience.
Like connecting with a bitchy client,
a deaf upstairs neighbor,
or even a beloved stepbrother
who's doing a dime up in Pelican Bay
for trying to abduct Robert Downey Jr.
I was still pretty upset,
and not just about what passed for education at this school.
I wasn't sure what I should do about Cash.
Cut that [Bleep] loose.
Boy, bye.
What he did to you was inexcusable.
Do you really want to be with some dude
who goes off on Instagram like that
when he gets all in his little feelings.
That's some Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian shit.
- Mm. - Right?
I tell him about my virginity, and he blasts it?
I'm like, "Dude, are you slow?"
Well, I mean, he is an athlete, so...
No offense, guys.
Nothing but offense taken.
I don't know why you guys
are going in on my boy so hard.
Cash is your boy?
You know he's not.
But I need him to come to my birthday party.
Oh, so you're just trying to smash some Cash groupies
at my expense?
Zoey, I'm telling you this as a friend.
You should absolutely bounce this dude.
After my party.
Dude can't even handle some random Instagram trolls,
and if he gets to the NBA,
it's only gonna get worse.
Cut that [Bleep] loose!
Damn.
_
My friends are right.
Cash violated my trust
and played me in front of the world.
I need to cash out.
_
Dude, who are you texting?
It's Jazz.
Everyone's blowing me up
about this stupid virgin thing Cash did.
I mean, Vivek's got an over/under
on who's gonna be my first.
Ana's trying to get me
to start a promise keeper circle with her.
And Sky and Jazz,
they're gonna sign me up for Sugar Babies.
And why do you care what everyone else thinks?
Oh, I don't know, because it's embarrassing.
That's... Most chicks dating athletes
have to worry about STDs,
side chicks, paternity tests,
and you're worrying about him calling you a virgin?
Irrelevant.
It still doesn't make what he did okay.
And there we go...
perfect Zoey running around
worrying about what makes everything "okay."
Fall back. Get over yourself, bro.
I don't know why I deal with you.
Well, I don't know why I deal with you.
You're stressing out over some BS
on this little campus.
Meanwhile, your man is having a full family crisis,
and the whole world's talking about it.
What in the world are you talking about?
You don't know about his pops?
Wow, that's crazy.
I don't even follow sports, and I know about that.
- Just tell me. - Okay.
His dad is all over the news
because he was auctioning off
all of his old high school swag.
I had every right to be pissed at Cash.
Cash!
But there's nothing worse than being mad at a person
who's in a bad place.
What was I supposed to do?
Dude, I just heard. Are you okay?
Never been better.
Cash, I'm sorry that we've been arguing...
Look, Zoey, I just can't deal with this right now.
I've got to go handle this.
Okay, look, I'm going with you.
You don't even know where I'm going.
Look, Cash, I'm not doing this
because I'm not still mad at you, which I am.
I'm doing this
because it's the right thing to do.
I hate awkward silence,
but I'm great at it.
Maybe the best that ever did it.
So you want to be grown
and miss your curfew, huh, little girl?
Well, this is it!
No computer, no cellphone, no nothing!
Oh, you're not gonna blink?
You not gonna blink when I yell at you?!
Okay.
_
Hey, Zo-Zo.
You want something from the kitchen?
Snacks? La Croix?
We got some edamame.
Okay.
Love you.
Your hair smells good.
I, uh...
Just, uh... Just take it all.
You know, Daddy's baby girl
could always use some pocket change.
Okay.
It's not a game I like,
but when I play it, I play to win.
So, you're just not gonna talk?
Cool.
♪ This feelin' that I'm feelin' is the realest sensation ♪
♪ This love we make ♪
♪ I don't wanna wait too long ♪
♪ Wake me up, ready for love ♪
♪ Can't hide how you're cravin' me ♪
- Oh. - ♪ Not quite love ♪
- He's good. - ♪ We'll get there soon enough ♪
♪ Some secrets I wanna keep ♪
♪ But I know we're right in the sweet spot ♪
I didn't do it by accident.
♪ But I know I don't wanna show my cards ♪
What?
♪ Baby, it's just me but I don't think ♪
The virgin thing.
I didn't do it by accident.
♪ I'm the only one with a skip in my heart ♪
Don't get me wrong,
you're my girl and dude got me hot.
I knew what I was typing.
You being a virgin is good for my brand.
♪ Ooh, and I love right where we are ♪
Hold on. Did you just say your brand?
I... You know what, stop the car.
What?
Stop the goddamn car and let me out,
or I'm calling the police!
See how good that is for your brand.
Zoey, can you just wai...
Zoey.
- Zoey, look. - I'm calling a Lyft.
Zoey, look.
I know this is something you don't want to hear,
but you fit inside what I want to be.
Yes, you're amazing,
and you believed in me before all this started.
But you're also good on paper.
Oh, wow, so you want me to get you beat up.
I'm serious.
You're pretty, you're smart.
You come from a good family.
But then you add the virgin thing.
Oh, my God.
Look, I come from nowhere.
The bottom.
You want to know where we're going?
We're going to buy my state champion ring back from my father
before he sell it for dope
or whatever the hell he's doing these days.
You got to understand.
I never thought I'd have a shot with someone like you.
♪ I've been tryin' hard to be someone ♪
♪ Even though there's no need to pretend ♪
♪ It's even harder when you need the one ♪
♪ To open up and make amends ♪
I like that you said it.
♪ You've been tryin' not to need someone ♪
What?
♪ But you'll always be alone in the end ♪
About my virginity.
It wasn't your business to put out there,
but... I like that you stood up for me.
- So, I did a good thing? - No.
♪ I'll find a way to make you understand ♪
But if I'm being honest,
it made me feel special.
Being with you makes me feel special.
But you are special.
Yeah, I know, and I've always been popular,
but come on, Cash, you're a whole other level.
I mean, you may end up being the number-one pick,
and... and the fact that you chose me to be your girl
when you probably could've chosen anybody else
even though it would've been a mistake, you know?
♪ Just say it again ♪
Hold on, I-I have a question.
Would you want to be with me if I wasn't a virgin?
Honestly?
Yes, honestly, Cash.
Would you want to be with me
if I didn't fit into your brand?
I-I-I don't know.
- Wow. - What?
You said be honest.
Would you want to be with me
if I wasn't gonna be the number-one pick?
I like you,
but would I want to put up
with all the rumors I have to hear
about you with other girls?
Would I want to put up
with you needing a tutor in every single class
and only seeing you an hour a day?
I don't know.
You being the man
is, I guess, part of what I like about you.
Yeah.
I bet it is.
Why didn't I just do Macaroni Grill?
Yo, what is happening here?
I've never seen this place so empty.
And I know it's Vivek's birthday,
but it's still open to the public, right?
What's wrong with you? Hmm?
Big Dave and I broke up.
Oh!
'Cause he's gay?
No, he's bi.
Look, in my opinion,
if a guy's willing to go that far with another guy,
that means something in him
really wants to go that far with a guy.
What?
No, no, no. Okay, look.
Sexuality is a spectrum.
Right. That's what I'm telling you.
In which, the penis is at one end of the spectrum.
Whatever.
How is it that a black dude who wears crocs
can be this closed-minded?
Okay, whatever.
You're the... the bi girl
who decided to break up with Big bi Dave.
Is that your dad?
Yeah.
Where... Where'd you get the money from?
I'll be right back.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
You got a second?
Okay.
So, things were going good between us, and then...
Why do I feel like you're re-dumping me?
No, I feel like you deserve to know the truth.
It kind of freaked me out that you've been with guys.
Hold on, what?
Didn't I meet you
while you were on a date with a girl?
- I know. - Yeah.
Okay, I know that I'm supposed to be, like,
a part of the movement...
- Yeah... - but I can't help feeling like
it's different for guys and girls.
Like, okay, if you see two girls in bed,
- it's not a big deal. - Mm.
But if you see two guys in bed,
it's weird, you know?
It's like, "Where's the other bed?"
- Yeah. - Two guys kissing is not hot.
I disagree. I think it's very hot.
Yes, but it's comments like that that got us here, Dave.
Look, I know that I'm a hypocrite,
but I can't help how I feel.
I just feel like if you're into guys, too,
then how can I ever be enough for you?
That's not about me being bisexual.
That's about you being insecure.
Oh, now you show up.
You missed the whole party.
I'm so sorry.
I had the craziest day today.
Let me guess... it involved Cash.
Yeah.
It did, actually.
We weren't guessing.
We knew it involved Cash.
Everything with you involves Cash.
Guys, I said I was sorry.
It's not like I meant to miss this.
To be clear, just a minute ago,
this place was jumping.
Okay, so, what's your guys' problem?
Our problem is that your boy is a clown.
I think he's more like a bum.
Your dude's probably not gonna make it to the league.
And if he does, you know he's just gonna drop you.
That is without a doubt. That's, like, a fact.
No offense.
He probably dropped you already,
- and you don't even know it. - Yeah.
- I know he got hos. - Whoa!
Zoey, we're just tired of you being all up under this dude
like you're some weak-ass little pata sucia.
Okay, excuse me?
So, right about here,
well, this is where I blacked out.
I'm not quite sure what I said,
but I think I told Jazz and Sky
there were only three people making a living off track
on the entire planet,
and they're all Usain Bolt.
This bitch.
And I might have called out Ana
about her fake accent
and asked her if she was in the witness protection program.
Her response made me think she might be.
And where do you think you're going?
Look, I said no offense, okay?
Aren't you older than us?
Like, w-where are your friends?
Because you always come around us
and act like you know everything,
but if you know everything,
get out of my freshman math class.
Apparently, I really took my time on Aaron.
I won't get into the specifics,
but I did later have to buy him a spa day.
Sorry.
Sorry, Zoey, it's just we're your friends.
We're just trying to look out for you.
Yeah. I got it.
But you guys don't know Cash,
and until tonight, neither did I.
Oh, um, and Vivek.
Oh, please, I can't handle it.
I've had a devastating night.
I was just gonna say happy birthday.
I have a shirt for you in my room.
It's a size you should be wearing.
- What's wrong with my shirt? - Mm.
Hey, you.
Where are you going?
Yo. Uh, I was going to look for you.
I want to talk to you.
Look, uh, I feel like
a lot of things were said tonight,
and I don't want you to walk away thinking
that all I'm into is just you being a virgin.
Oh, God, I'm so glad you said something,
because I don't want you to think
that the only reason I'm into you
is because you're a basketball player.
Zoey...
if you ask me to give you
all the reasons why I like you,
I don't know that I'd have enough time in my life to tell you.
But what I can tell you is,
when I'm with you,
I feel more like me than when I'm anywhere else.
I feel the exact same way.
I mean, there's something about you
that just feels so right.
Even the things I hate about you,
I still kind of like.
Well, then, it's me and you versus everybody else.
Deal.
And as much as I hated you being honest with me...
I need you to keep doing it.
I will, and I need you, too.
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