1
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:09,384
♪♪
2
00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,886
You just got Alfredo'd!
3
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:15,932
♪♪
4
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:18,393
Oh, gnocchi I di-in't!
5
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:24,524
♪♪
6
00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:27,360
Got some lasagna on ya!
7
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,362
Announcer:
Mamma Mia'd!
8
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,490
[ Laughs ]
9
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:33,783
Three views?
10
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,076
Ugh!
11
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,328
But #mammamiad is
the biggest trend of all time!
12
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:40,123
Maybe I'm not using
enough pasta.
13
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,083
Yeah, I don't think
that's the problem.
14
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:48,631
♪♪
15
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:55,096
♪♪
16
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:59,392
Single digit views
after an entire day of...
17
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:00,894
carbs.
18
00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:03,271
Next time, can you not exploit
my 5-year-old for content?
19
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:05,482
Does the Internet
like me yet, mom?
20
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,358
Yes, honey.
You're a star.
21
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,361
She's lying.
The Internet is a vicious place.
22
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,613
One moment
they love you,
23
00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:12,906
the next, you're fighting
for a like
24
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,116
from a Twitter egg
from Albania.
25
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,076
Okay, Candice,
time to go.
26
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,703
This is why we limit
your screen time.
27
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,413
I'm gonna go
play outside.
28
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,208
Don't blame me.
Blame this new app, WimWam.
29
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:26,127
I have no idea what this
algorithm wants from me.
30
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,838
I bet I'd already be viral
if Gr8vine were still around.
31
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,466
Isn't that the app that damaged
everyone's long-term memory?
32
00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,134
I don't remember that.
33
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,220
I was huge on Gr8vine.
34
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:38,181
Back in high school,
one of my vids went mega-viral.
35
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,225
Yes, we know
all about the --
36
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,310
It was a day
like any other.
37
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:46,481
♪♪
38
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:47,774
You recording, sis?
39
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:53,321
♪♪
40
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,114
Yolo, bitches!
41
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,116
2014 for life!
42
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,206
When Gr8vine got axed,
so did my video.
43
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:06,751
I bet, if I posted that
to WimWam, it'd go crazy.
44
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,086
That's it!
45
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:09,462
I'll recreate
my viral video!
46
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,297
We're going to
Santa Monica!
47
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,674
Seriously?
48
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,467
Do you know how much of a hassle
it is to get over there?
49
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,095
Would you rather live your life
in fear of getting puttanesca'd?
50
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:20,348
Fine, we'll go.
51
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,100
You think you're gonna be able
to find parking?
52
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:25,854
Parking on a sunny
Sunday afternoon at the beach?
53
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,939
Nothing could be easier.
54
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,818
Josh: When you say it like that,
it sounds hard.
55
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,653
Bridgette:
The promenade.
56
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:36,573
I practically ran this place
in high school.
57
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:40,201
Bridgette's back, baby!
58
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,370
Just like
the good old days.
59
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:43,496
Ow!
60
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,039
Can you try
self-awareness?
61
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,209
Whoa. You just got in the way of
my getting-in-the-way video.
62
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,378
What?
You bumped into us.
63
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:51,671
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
64
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,506
You don't know who we are,
do you?
65
00:02:54,757 --> 00:03:03,558
♪♪
66
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:12,358
♪♪
67
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,693
Wait, who are you?
68
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:16,279
You just posed a bunch
without saying anything.
69
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:17,864
You're those kids
who live in a mansion,
70
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:20,074
and go viral on WimWam
all day.
71
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,618
I've seen your videos!
72
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,077
Pssh.
Who hasn't?
73
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,412
Uh, well...
74
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:27,081
I also know a thing or two
about going viral.
75
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,208
Not to brag,
but back on Gr8vine,
76
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,544
I did a headstand
on the pier Ferris wheel.
77
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,464
Could've died.
Got a million views.
78
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,382
[ Laughter ]
79
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,592
Great...Vine?
80
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:39,260
Am I supposed to know
what that is?
81
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,721
Probably before
we were born.
82
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,598
-Probably.
-Quick update.
83
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,183
Our last video
got majorly wrecked
84
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,310
by this sad,
bored woman.
85
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,645
If anyone follows her,
86
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,647
do yourself a favor,
and unfollow.
87
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,690
No. No.
88
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:56,027
No!
89
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,779
Oh!
90
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,949
Who do those kids
think they are?
91
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,241
Can we just leave?
92
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:03,493
No, Em.
93
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,953
If we leave,
they win.
94
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,621
We're gonna go to that
Ferris wheel,
95
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,415
and we're gonna show
those bitches what's cool.
96
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,792
Yeah!
97
00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:13,002
Like a baggy sweater
and a half a melatonin gummy
98
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,796
on a Friday night.
99
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:19,175
Okay, I'll show them
what's cool.
100
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,344
Josh: Lotta cars.
101
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,679
Alex:
Aha! See?
102
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:27,809
A space is opening up
as we speak.
103
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,769
[ Horn blares ]
104
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,232
I'm doing my taxes,
dickweed!
105
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,566
[ Both yell ]
106
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,152
I'm gonna deduct your head
from your body!
107
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,409
Didn't we get rid of you
already?
108
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,035
-Out of our way.
-What?
109
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,538
Gonna do your little
headstand again?
110
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:49,706
You know what?
111
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,541
Maybe I'll do the headstand,
and then get,
112
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,459
I don't know,
a billion views.
113
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,211
Then, anything you post
will just look like
114
00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:56,504
you ripped off
my trend.
115
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,673
[ Gasps ]
You wouldn't dare.
116
00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:00,675
Please.
I'm a living meme.
117
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,135
My whole life
is a dare.
118
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:09,183
♪♪
119
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,977
Bridgette,
just let her have it.
120
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,020
You could get killed.
121
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,230
No. Don't you understand?
122
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,024
This is my last chance.
123
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,359
If she steals it,
that's it for me!
124
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,777
I'll never go viral.
125
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,738
Which means
I'm basically dead --
126
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,531
or worse, old.
127
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,366
Are you gonna help me
or not?
128
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,659
[ Sighs ]
129
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:33,082
♪♪
130
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,375
[ Groans ]
131
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,544
Get my good side --
even if it kills you.
132
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:46,220
♪♪
133
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,521
You okay,
there, Bridge?
134
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,066
I, uh,
just might need a minute?
135
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,359
[ Laughter ]
136
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,903
What's wrong, Boomer?
137
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:03,029
Hurt your back?
138
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,073
You don't have
to do this!
139
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,365
It's just an app.
140
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,533
It's not!
141
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,911
It's proof that I can
still be cool!
142
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,246
You can't be cool
if you're dead!
143
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,459
I don't know what
I was thinking.
144
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:18,086
I just felt
so out of it.
145
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,714
WimWam made me feel old,
and those cool teens --
146
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,050
how are they so young
but so cool?
147
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,510
It's all an act.
148
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:28,679
They're just hopped up on
mood stabilizers and Adderall.
149
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,682
Um, actually, I take Vyvanse
now, you old hag!
150
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,018
[ Groans ]
Forget about them.
151
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,479
You don't have
to do this.
152
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:43,569
♪♪
153
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,904
Man: Hey!
154
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:46,405
Hey! Stop that!
155
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:51,786
♪♪
156
00:06:53,204 --> 00:07:02,797
♪♪
157
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,257
Oh, shit.
158
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,677
It happened again.
159
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:16,060
♪♪
160
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,229
Get off your asses,
and film!
161
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,022
This is WimWam gold!
162
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,482
[ Screaming ]
163
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,484
Get me off this thing!
164
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:26,529
My mom was right --
I am gonna die young and hot.
165
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:31,534
♪♪
166
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:32,702
Boom!
167
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:37,123
The king of parking
strikes again.
168
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:41,002
And only a 13-mile walk,
mostly downhill?
169
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,171
You're welcome.
170
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,380
[ Hisses ]
171
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:45,798
[ Both yell ]
172
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,555
We found a spot!
173
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,432
That's nice, sweetie.
174
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:55,766
[ Screaming ]
175
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,185
We gotta
go after them.
176
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,145
But the spot, man!
The spot!
177
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:08,196
♪♪
178
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,364
Jump!
It's the only way!
179
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:16,245
♪♪
180
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,538
New plan, I'm gonna --
181
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,873
[ Gasps ]
182
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:23,544
♪♪
183
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:24,795
we're slowing down.
184
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,589
Oh. That's good, right?
185
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,674
Actually,
this is much worse!
186
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:39,936
Everyone okay?
187
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,271
[ Screaming ]
188
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,941
That looks so unsafe.
189
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,442
Really?!
190
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:50,655
I might not be relevant,
but I can save someone who is.
191
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:53,074
No, no, no.
Not the takeaway!
192
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:57,954
Stay calm, Rikki.
I'm coming.
193
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,413
Hurry!
194
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,748
[ Screams ]
195
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:01,958
Oh, God.
196
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:05,586
♪♪
197
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,756
Got you!
198
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,635
[ Applause ]
199
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,348
-Mom!
-Emily!
200
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,434
Uh...
201
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,438
Uh...
202
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,648
we're good.
203
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:29,735
♪♪
204
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,696
Thank you for
saving my life.
205
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,447
Well, I couldn't
let you die.
206
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,116
It would've
made you cooler,
207
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,493
and you're, like,
way too cool already.
208
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:40,663
You know, I lied earlier
about not knowing Gr8vine
209
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,039
or your video.
210
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,833
I actually saw it back
when I was a baby --
211
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,167
Don't need that detail.
212
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,919
I was, like,
barely out of the womb,
213
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,796
but your video is what
inspired me
214
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,798
to get into WimWam
in the first place.
215
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:53,467
Before you, I didn't know
that girls could go viral.
216
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,971
Oh, my God.
I'm like a pioneering woman?
217
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:02,476
Aww, you posted me.
218
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,437
I'm so happy
I saved your life.
219
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,565
After all this, I'm kinda happy
to fade into irrelevance.
220
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:11,068
No worries. We'll be out here
for you, keeping it relevant.
221
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,823
Yo!
222
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,327
And behind me are the Ferris
Wheel Grandmas, in the flesh!
223
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,870
Uh, excuse me.
224
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,664
If you want to collab on WimWam,
you need to go through my agent.
225
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,000
What the hell
is WimWam?
226
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:27,835
We're on BlibBlab,
Grandma!
227
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:35,843
♪♪
228
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:38,346
Screw WimWam.
We need BlibBlab.
229
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:40,681
[ Indistinct talking ]
230
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,768
I'm exhausted, and I think
I broke my leg.
231
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,478
Hope you didn't park
too far.
232
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,856
I think you'll be
pleasantly surprised.
233
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,858
Whoa! What!?
No, no, no, no.
234
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,318
What are you doing?!
235
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,697
[ Groans ]
236
00:10:56,781 --> 00:11:00,117
Come on!
237
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,412
Well, this is the worst thing
that's happened all day.
238
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,710
Alex: What the hell?
239
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,212
Who put this here?
240
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,048
Oh, yeah. I realized I'm not
a big spin-class person.
241
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,883
Can you take that
out to the curb for me?
242
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:18,594
Uh, no.
What if I was super busy?
243
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,680
I could be going to give an
important lecture, Bridgette --
244
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:24,183
or, more likely, a hot date.
245
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:26,102
I don't think
that's true.
246
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,646
[ Sighs ]
247
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,731
[ Grunting ]
248
00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:35,236
Hey, there,
you absolute king!
249
00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:36,404
What?
250
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,697
Need a little
confidence boost?
251
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:44,036
Okay, now this
is interesting.
252
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,956
You're gorgeous!
You're potent!
253
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:52,461
Now smash those pedals,
and get ready to kill that hill!
254
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,631
I...can...do...anything!
255
00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,718
Crushed it.
256
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:06,600
♪♪
257
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:13,441
♪♪
258
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,860
Trainer: Find your power,
and pump!
259
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:17,153
Pump!
260
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,155
You're not finished
until I say you are!
261
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,867
What kind of freak rides a bike
in a jacket?
262
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,077
[ Trainer moaning ]
263
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,620
Oh, God, yes!
264
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,831
Yes, Ranessa!
265
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,584
Um, should I be
listening to this?
266
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,961
Probably best
to play it safe.
267
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:37,798
And that's time,
gods and goddesses.
268
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,592
And congrats
to Alex Dorpenberger
269
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,636
for topping the leaderboard
again today.
270
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,138
Got my eye on you, Alex.
271
00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:46,891
[ Laughs ]
272
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,809
Morning,
kings and queens.
273
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,270
Hope you're living
your power today.
274
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,980
Hey, man.
Want some pancakes?
275
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:57,276
Oh, no thanks.
I don't consume poison, Josh.
276
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,490
Do you think you're maybe
going a little overboard
277
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,116
with this whole
HotBike thing?
278
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,036
I mean, what's next,
a HotBike tattoo?
279
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:11,081
Why would I get
another HotBike tattoo?
280
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,124
[ All gasp ]
281
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,792
Okay, can we not
do the thing
282
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,544
where I get
really into something,
283
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:19,381
and then you all get worried
I'm "going crazy," or whatever?
284
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,843
I'm not doing all this because
I'm obsessed with HotBike.
285
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:26,555
I'm doing it because I'm in love
with my instructor.
286
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,098
Sure.
Okay.
Sure.
Okay.
287
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,308
Is that better?
288
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:30,726
Now, if you'll excuse me,
289
00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:32,102
I've got my first private sesh
with Ranessa,
290
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,772
and I need to shave
my arm hair.
291
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,190
Ranessa:
That's right, Alex!
292
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,441
Do it!
Do it!
293
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,609
I'm doing it!
294
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,319
Keep going!
I'm so close!
295
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:44,114
Me, too! I --
Wait, what are we talking about?
296
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,866
And done.
297
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:49,537
Let it coast,
you freakin' rock star.
298
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,788
Wow.
299
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,331
That was incredible.
300
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,916
You're incredible.
301
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,710
Top of every class
for the past two weeks,
302
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,713
glistening aerodynamic
forearms.
303
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,090
Oh, these old things?
304
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,968
Guess I'm just
naturally hairless.
305
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:07,179
Alex, I think have what it takes
to become an instructor.
306
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,305
Oh, wow!
307
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,057
Does that mean
I get to meet you --
308
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:13,519
um, which'll be, like,
cool I guess.
309
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,854
Well, you can stop by
HotBike HQ,
310
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,274
and we can see
how it goes.
311
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,568
Wink.
312
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,821
Yes, Alex,
you absolute stud!
313
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,823
Alex, you only turned off
the camera.
314
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,324
Uh...
315
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,582
Computerized Voice:
Welcome to HotBike.
316
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,500
We do not validate parking.
317
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,009
Alex?
318
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,597
[ Gasps ]
319
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,889
What the...?
320
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,350
Guys, I think you're gonna
want to see this.
321
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:57,980
[ All gasp ]
322
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,273
Oh. Hey, guys.
323
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,692
You're on TV!
So sweet.
324
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,569
No, Josh.
He looks horrible.
325
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:07,197
No way.
I'm living that HotBike life.
326
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,158
That's it.
We're coming to get you.
327
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,368
No. I'm fine.
328
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:15,080
I've almost earned a meeting
with Ranessa.
329
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,958
Plus, you'd never
get past the guards.
330
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:21,295
Um, Why does HotBike
have guards?
331
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:25,549
Sorry -- can't talk --
gotta...teach.
332
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,178
Okay, I'm starting
to think
333
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,889
something at HotBike
is a little off.
334
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,225
Woman:
Watch your backs, now.
335
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,645
I'll be right here, with my eyes
on the perimeter.
336
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:44,985
♪♪
337
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,988
Okay, you're a bike company.
Relax.
338
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,534
[ All gasp ]
339
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:56,372
Computerized Voice:
Keep pedaling,
gods and goddesses.
340
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,123
Pain is progress.
341
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,501
Progress is pain.
342
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:03,462
You are crushing it.
343
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:04,838
Oh, man.
344
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:08,300
He looks like he skipped
everything but leg day.
345
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,551
Huh?
346
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,886
What the hell are you guys
doing here?
347
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,346
We're here to rescue you
from this cult.
348
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:16,100
HotBike is not a cult.
It's a way of life.
349
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:19,019
You're literally
just reading that sign.
350
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,815
No, I'm not.
I think my own thoughts, Josh.
351
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,692
Look, I love it here.
352
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,318
I'm a friggin 10 now,
353
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,362
and I'm only one level away
from meeting
354
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:31,990
the woman of my --
-Grab him!
355
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,076
Pop the clips!
Pop the clips!
356
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,786
Computerized Voice:
Intruder.
357
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,037
Intruder.
358
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:40,249
Intruder.
359
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:43,502
Queen Ranessa is most pleased
with your bravery, Alex.
360
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,878
She will see you now.
361
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,380
You mean...
362
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:48,882
I finally
get to meet her?
363
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,300
Oh!
364
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,845
Oh, no, I haven't brushed
my teeth in over a month.
365
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,182
Hello, Alex.
366
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,184
We meet at last.
367
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,561
Ranessa!
368
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,731
You don't know how long
I've waited for this --
369
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,233
oh, whoa, what the...?
370
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:10,028
I'm so excited to finally share
my true form with you, Alex.
371
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,698
You friggin crushed
capturing your friends.
372
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,408
Total king shit.
373
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,910
You know, I'll admit
the whole tentacle reveal
374
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,620
was kinda shocking,
375
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:23,208
but, in anime terms,
this is pretty hot.
376
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,960
Alex's human friends.
377
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,670
Maximum props today, guys.
378
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,464
Seriously,
top tier effort.
379
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,591
But Alex is gonna be
staying with us
380
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,092
until our starship
returns home.
381
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:35,137
Okay, tentacles and
a starship?
382
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,889
Pick a lane.
383
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,310
[ All gasp ]
384
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,813
Centuries ago, my species
crash-landed on the barren,
385
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:48,484
lifeless planes
you call "Pacoima."
386
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,527
And without fuel
to propel our ship,
387
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,279
we were totally stranded.
388
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:56,658
Life was decidedly
not awesomesauce.
389
00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:01,038
Until we discovered
humanity.
390
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,456
One thing was obvious --
391
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,292
if we wanted off this rock,
we needed to harness
392
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:09,046
the untapped power
of the human glute.
393
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:13,175
Our first attempts to woo
humankind were fruitless.
394
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,802
[ Screaming ]
395
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,386
But that was
easily remedied.
396
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,764
[ All talking ]
397
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,146
Cut to the invention
of the Internet,
398
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,732
some other stuff,
yada yada yada, you got it.
399
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,652
Hold on, you glossed over
a bunch of stuff right there.
400
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:32,986
The details
are not important.
401
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,655
Well, then,
why do you need Alex?
402
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:38,367
Oh, well, Alex is one
of our top meat engine--
403
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,993
I mean bike hunks.
404
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:44,039
I've selected Alex to be my --
what do you humans call it --
405
00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:45,958
oh, yeah,
"sex friend."
406
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:49,419
Holy shit!
Oh, hell yeah, baby!
407
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,797
We are go...
408
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,467
You know, that is to say,
I'm deeply honored.
409
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,678
Alex!
She's a friggin octopus!
410
00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,264
Wow. Intolerant much?
411
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,808
Guards, turn these twig legs
into protein gel.
412
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,519
Whoa, whoa. Ranessa,
they're my best friends.
413
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:10,148
Maybe, instead of killing them,
we can just call them an Uber?
414
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:14,111
Not unless they've got Ubers
in space.
415
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,990
♪♪
416
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:19,950
Eyes on the perimeter.
417
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:24,913
♪♪
418
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,834
Ok, now I really think
something is off about HotBike.
419
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,132
Alex, come on!
Let's get out of here!
420
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:36,592
What? Why?
421
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,969
So I can go back to living
the rest of my life
422
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:41,054
single and miserable?
423
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,390
Ranessa may be
a tentacle monster, Josh,
424
00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:45,767
but she's my
tentacle monster.
425
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,060
Come on, Alex.
426
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,770
There are plenty of amazing
human women
427
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,898
who would be lucky
to have you.
428
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,065
You really mean that?
429
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,985
I -- I really do.
430
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,862
Alex, don't forget
about the fact
431
00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,699
that you and I
are totally going to mate.
432
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,659
Do go on.
433
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:08,415
My egg has been gestating
for centuries.
434
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:13,921
I cannot wait to shove it
up into your spinal column.
435
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,923
Then, I'll watch
as my hatchlings
436
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,759
devour you
from the inside out --
437
00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:21,219
you know,
classic sex.
438
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,429
[ Laughs nervously ]
439
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,556
See, usually,
sex for humans
440
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,893
doesn't involve
one of the parties dying.
441
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:29,645
Oh, really? Weird.
442
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,230
Well, in that case,
I'm sure I can find a way
443
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,441
to keep you alive.
444
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:41,406
Look, I'm sorry guys,
but this is where I belong.
445
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,541
Psych!
446
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,335
I can handle
being devoured.
447
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,045
I'm into weird shit.
448
00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:56,588
But killing my friends?
449
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,591
That's gonna be a "no"
from me, dawg!
450
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:05,639
♪♪
451
00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:06,932
[ Gasps ]
452
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:12,354
♪♪
453
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,647
Sick legs, bro.
454
00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:15,357
Follow me
if you want to live.
455
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,901
♪♪
456
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,152
Hey! This is a cult,
457
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:22,030
and we're all just fuel
for an alien spaceship!
458
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,323
Oh, God! I knew it!
459
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:28,870
♪♪
460
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:34,459
♪♪
461
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,670
[ Alarm blaring ]
462
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:42,884
♪♪
463
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,303
[ Blaring continues ]
464
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:51,143
Okay, I am most definitely
not in the zone right now.
465
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,231
Wow.
466
00:21:56,314 --> 00:21:57,983
Thanks for everything
back there, guys.
467
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,402
That's the last alien space cult
I ever join.
468
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,862
[ Laughs ]
469
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,366
I think we're about to land
in Australia.
470
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:14,374
♪♪
471
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:22,340
♪♪
472
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:30,348
♪♪
473
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:38,315
♪♪
474
00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:46,281
♪♪
475
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:54,623
♪♪