Narrator: Well, looks like them ol' Santa Ana winds
are blowin' once again.
Ahhhhh! They sure do bluster.
♪
But sometimes, when troubles got ya down,
them winds can stir up exactly what you need.
Now, maybe you didn't grow up a horse girl.
But I did.
And it taught me something.
Not something you'd learn at a four year college.
It's more of a life lesson type deal.
If you got troubles...
ain't nothing can fix 'em like a horse.
♪
Anybody want to play with me?
Sorry, sweetie. I'm late for an install.
Finishing this work thing, just give me two quick hours!
[ Groans ]
[ Horse whinnies ]
[ Horse blows ]
♪
[ Vacuums ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Laughs ]
♪
[ Thud ]
Now in the county of Los Angeles,
it's illegal to keep a secret horse in a rental property.
So Candice did what any horse girl would do.
She hid that dang pony in the garage.
[ Engine starts, bangs ]
Aah!
[ Horn honks, cellphone chimes ]
Oh no, me late! Ah!
[ Horse blows ]
[ Screams ] Horsejacker!
Take my wallet.
Maybe me not late.
♪
[ Horse whinnies ]
♪
[ Game playing ]
[ Lock clicks, doorknob rattles ]
We gotta hide you.
Well, that's enough of being alone in this room!
Uh, okay...
[ Chuckles ]
Ugh, is everyone in Dubai?
[ Sighs ]
[ Gasps ] [ Horse whinnies ]
Couch horse! Ooh, pics or it didn't happen!
Hashtag do it for the gram.
What are you doing?
[ Horse snorts ]
No. No, you're right.
Why can't I just be in the [echoing] moment?
♪
[ Eagle cries ]
♪
Thank you for helping me find inner peace.
Ugh. I've had these elbow patches since undergrad.
I look like a schmuck.
Quick, hide!
Aagh! I love your hair.
Ohmigosh. You're so soft.
Are you kidding me?!
30 bucks? I can't afford that!
[ Groans ]
What is this, tenured professor magazine?
[ Gasps ]
Tree horse! Waaaaaait a minute.
I need cash, you're a horse.
Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
[ Trumpet plays, horse whinnies ]
Okay, what about Tupelo Genie?
[ Horse snorts ]
Got it. A drinker.
And Salt Bray?
[ Horse growls ]
What about My Cousin Whinny?
[ Horse grunts ]
He's got unexamined childhood trauma
from witnessing the death of his father?
Hard pass.
Oooh, what about Extremely Loud and Incredibly Horse?
[ Horse grunts ]
That's the one!
Okay, here goes next month's rent.
[ Bell ringing ]
[ Horses whinnying ]
♪
Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, we're rich!
We're rich, you dumb horse!
♪
Say, mister, lookin' sharp.
Mind if I take a picture of you and your filly?
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Tomorrow I'm thinking it's between Call Me By Your Mane
and Won't You Me by Neigh-bor.
Huh
Whoaaa! We've got to hide you!
[ Grunts ]
[ Humming ]
Oh. gaw!
I'll never wow 'em down at the rink.
When it comes to roller skating, I'm a basic bitch.
[ Horse blows ]
Or am I?
♪
[ Stammering ]
Yeah.
♪
[ Laughing ]
♪
[ Slow motion music ]
♪
[ Cheering ]
They're cheering for you, too.
Double IPA?
Straight-edge? That's cool.
- [ Groans ] - Quick, under here.
♪
I miss you every day, Sergeant Spurs.
♪
[ Horse whinnies ]
You're no barbecue grill.
♪
[ Gasps ]
[ Horse snorts ]
It can't be...
♪
[ Horse grunts ]
♪
Let's go!
Power slide!
Whoa!
♪
[ Smooches ]
Thank you for one last day.
Ooh.
[ Door opens ]
Hey, Mr. Salt. Mr. Salt: Emily!
I need you to write my speech for the lettuce convention.
Can you come up with some jokes?
I will "endive" right in.
That's amazing!
Haha endive...
Ugh, I'm never gonna get a break.
[ Groans ]
[ Horse blows ]
[ Gasps ]
Hi, is this Animal Control?
Yeah, I got a friggin' horse in my backyard
and I do not need this today.
Yes, he's chubby, Brown, big beautiful eyes...
He's obviously an angel. I love him.
You know what? I'll call you back.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
[ Grunts ]
♪
[ Inhales, exhales deeply ]
♪
Ahhhhhh!
♪
Thanks for reminding me to take time for myself.
- [ Screams ] - Mom?
- Candice! - You found my secret horse?
Hey, what are you guys doing with my secret horse?
Your secret horse? He loves me.
[ Chuckles ] Uh, no, what he loves is installing TVs with me.
Can somebody hand me some clothes?
Emily, get away from my best friend!
That's my therapeutic companion!
What's it gonna be, horse? Who do you love?
You've gotta choose.
♪
[ Horse whinnies ]
[ All scream ]
Where is he going?
Maybe he wants to go back to his home.
Come back, Pickles!
You call him Pickles?
Well he's definitely not a "Liam".
- Train! - That's an even worse name!
[ Horn blaring ] No, train!
[ All scream ]
No train, no gain.
[ Engine revving ]
♪
Narrator: Though their time with him was brief.
Pickles had changed all their lives.
Forever.
♪
Or had he?
Wait, did we all imagine him?
Even if Pickles wasn't real,
we all have a little horse inside of us.
Oh, no, wait. He's real everybody.
Narrator: Well, of course he was real.
If you thought Pickles was just a metaphor,
well, you're dumber than some kind of asshole.
Happy trails, cow pokes!
♪