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Narrator: Well, looks like them
ol' Santa Ana winds
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are blowin' once again.
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Ahhhhh!
They sure do bluster.
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♪
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But sometimes,
when troubles got ya down,
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them winds can stir up
exactly what you need.
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Now, maybe you didn't
grow up a horse girl.
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But I did.
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And it taught me something.
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Not something you'd learn
at a four year college.
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It's more of a life lesson
type deal.
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If you got troubles...
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ain't nothing can fix 'em
like a horse.
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♪
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Anybody want to play with me?
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Sorry, sweetie.
I'm late for an install.
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Finishing this work thing,
just give me two quick hours!
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[ Groans ]
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[ Horse whinnies ]
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[ Horse blows ]
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♪
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[ Vacuums ]
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[ Gasps ]
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[ Laughs ]
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♪
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[ Thud ]
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Now in the county
of Los Angeles,
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it's illegal to keep a secret
horse in a rental property.
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So Candice did what
any horse girl would do.
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She hid that dang pony
in the garage.
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[ Engine starts, bangs ]
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Aah!
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[ Horn honks, cellphone chimes ]
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Oh no, me late!
Ah!
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[ Horse blows ]
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[ Screams ]
Horsejacker!
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Take my wallet.
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Maybe me not late.
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♪
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♪
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[ Horse whinnies ]
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♪
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[ Game playing ]
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[ Lock clicks,
doorknob rattles ]
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We gotta hide you.
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Well, that's enough of
being alone in this room!
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Uh, okay...
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[ Chuckles ]
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Ugh, is everyone in Dubai?
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[ Sighs ]
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[ Gasps ]
[ Horse whinnies ]
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Couch horse!
Ooh, pics or it didn't happen!
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Hashtag do it for the gram.
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What are you doing?
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[ Horse snorts ]
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No.
No, you're right.
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Why can't I just be
in the [echoing] moment?
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♪
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♪
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[ Eagle cries ]
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♪
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Thank you for helping me
find inner peace.
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Ugh. I've had these elbow
patches since undergrad.
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I look like a schmuck.
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Quick, hide!
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Aagh!
I love your hair.
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Ohmigosh.
You're so soft.
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Are you kidding me?!
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30 bucks?
I can't afford that!
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[ Groans ]
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What is this,
tenured professor magazine?
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[ Gasps ]
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Tree horse!
Waaaaaait a minute.
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I need cash, you're a horse.
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Are you thinkin'
what I'm thinkin'?
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[ Trumpet plays,
horse whinnies ]
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Okay, what about Tupelo Genie?
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[ Horse snorts ]
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Got it.
A drinker.
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And Salt Bray?
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[ Horse growls ]
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What about My Cousin Whinny?
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[ Horse grunts ]
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He's got unexamined
childhood trauma
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from witnessing the death
of his father?
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Hard pass.
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Oooh, what about Extremely Loud
and Incredibly Horse?
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[ Horse grunts ]
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That's the one!
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Okay, here goes next
month's rent.
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[ Bell ringing ]
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[ Horses whinnying ]
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♪
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Yes!
Yes, yes, yes!
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Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, we're rich!
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We're rich, you dumb horse!
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♪
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Say, mister, lookin' sharp.
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Mind if I take a picture
of you and your filly?
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[ Camera shutter clicks ]
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Tomorrow I'm thinking it's
between Call Me By Your Mane
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and Won't You Me by Neigh-bor.
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Huh
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Whoaaa!
We've got to hide you!
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[ Grunts ]
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[ Humming ]
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Oh. gaw!
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I'll never wow 'em down
at the rink.
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When it comes to roller skating,
I'm a basic bitch.
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[ Horse blows ]
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Or am I?
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♪
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[ Stammering ]
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Yeah.
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♪
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[ Laughing ]
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♪
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[ Slow motion music ]
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♪
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[ Cheering ]
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They're cheering for you, too.
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Double IPA?
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Straight-edge?
That's cool.
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- [ Groans ]
- Quick, under here.
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♪
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I miss you every day,
Sergeant Spurs.
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♪
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[ Horse whinnies ]
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You're no barbecue grill.
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♪
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[ Gasps ]
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[ Horse snorts ]
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It can't be...
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♪
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[ Horse grunts ]
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♪
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Let's go!
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Power slide!
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Whoa!
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♪
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[ Smooches ]
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Thank you for one last day.
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Ooh.
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[ Door opens ]
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Hey, Mr. Salt.
Mr. Salt: Emily!
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I need you to write my speech
for the lettuce convention.
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Can you come up with some jokes?
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I will "endive" right in.
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That's amazing!
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Haha endive...
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Ugh, I'm never
gonna get a break.
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[ Groans ]
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[ Horse blows ]
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[ Gasps ]
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Hi, is this Animal Control?
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Yeah, I got a friggin' horse
in my backyard
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and I do not need this today.
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Yes, he's chubby, Brown,
big beautiful eyes...
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He's obviously an angel.
I love him.
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You know what?
I'll call you back.
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[ Cellphone beeps ]
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[ Grunts ]
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♪
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[ Inhales, exhales deeply ]
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♪
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Ahhhhhh!
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♪
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Thanks for reminding me
to take time for myself.
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- [ Screams ]
- Mom?
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- Candice!
- You found my secret horse?
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Hey, what are you guys doing
with my secret horse?
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Your secret horse?
He loves me.
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[ Chuckles ] Uh, no, what he
loves is installing TVs with me.
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Can somebody hand me
some clothes?
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Emily, get away
from my best friend!
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That's my therapeutic companion!
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What's it gonna be, horse?
Who do you love?
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You've gotta choose.
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♪
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[ Horse whinnies ]
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[ All scream ]
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Where is he going?
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Maybe he wants to go back
to his home.
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Come back, Pickles!
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You call him Pickles?
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Well he's definitely
not a "Liam".
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- Train!
- That's an even worse name!
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[ Horn blaring ]
No, train!
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[ All scream ]
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No train, no gain.
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[ Engine revving ]
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♪
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♪
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Narrator: Though their time
with him was brief.
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Pickles had changed
all their lives.
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Forever.
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♪
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Or had he?
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Wait, did we all imagine him?
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Even if Pickles wasn't real,
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we all have a little horse
inside of us.
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Oh, no, wait.
He's real everybody.
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Narrator:
Well, of course he was real.
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If you thought Pickles
was just a metaphor,
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well, you're dumber
than some kind of asshole.
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Happy trails, cow pokes!
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♪