[ Cellphone chimes, vibrates ]
[ Yawns ]
♪
Hey!
♪
[ Grunts ]
[ Screams ]
♪
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
[ Truck crashes ]
♪
[ Sirens wailing ]
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
Pearle? What's going on?
I'm bailing you out of here.
Ugh, not again.
♪
You have a problem, Bridgette.
You can't put down your phone.
That's not true, you're being ridiculous, byeeee.
Whoa.
I was here the whole time and you didn't even notice!
It's time to call this what it is.
An addiction.
You need a no-phone detox.
Uh, no. This is not an addiction.
I'm perfectly in control... Hey!
I was in the middle of texting Alex to never text me again.
Oh... Oh my...
Oh, my God!
Oh my God, what's happening to me?
Your body needs time to adjust.
But don't worry, nothing bad ever happened
from not using your phone for two minutes.
Ohmigod!
Guys, Bridgette hasn't texted in two minutes.
- What?! - Bridgette is dead?!
No. I'm sure she's...
She hasn't posted in half an hour.
look at the last text she sent me.
That's exactly what she'd type
if someone was throwing a pillow case on her head
and pulling her into an unmarked van!
We gotta call the cops! No!
They won't do anything until she's gone
for at least 48 hours.
If we want to get Bridgette back...
we're on our own.
Where'd you go, Bridgette?
Where'd you go?
♪
[ Panting ]
Pearle, you can give it back now.
I'm good. Really good.
I just want to hold it in my hand, you know?
I'll give it back when I know you can handle it.
Here. You can't let your fingers go cold turkey.
[ Beeping ]
[ Sobbing ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Roars ]
Bridgette, get ahold of yourself!
[ Grunting ]
That's the withdrawal kicking in.
Let's get you a bucket.
44 minutes since her last update.
Okay, we're ready to post.
Are we sure that's the most appropriate picture?
It's the one she told me to use if she ever went missing.
[ Ding! ]
What's happening?
Bridgette's going viral.
Her lifelong dream.
[ Tablet ringing ]
Someone's FaceTiming me.
It's Kristen and Gina from Podnapped!
Hello? Hi, Emily?
We're from Podnapped, it's a podcast where we get buzzed
and talk about terrifying abductions.
I know! I've heard every episode.
I have all your merch!
This was a bad gift.
We think our devoted audience of abduction-istas
could help figure out who took your friend, Bridgette.
We'd like to record a special live episode about her.
At. Your. House.
[ Screams ] Oh my, God. This is so awesome!
I mean helpful.
For finding Bridgette.
Who's missing.
Very sad.
♪
How long since she's checked her phone?
Hour and a half.
Good God.
[ Slow motion ] Bridgette.
[ Stammers ] Oh, no.
[ Chirps ]
Twitter bird?
Why haven't you checked me, Bridgette?
I'm just taking a break.
[ Sinister music plays ]
♪
No one takes a break!
Feed me content!
Agh! Get away from me!
♪
Come on! Take a selfie.
You know you want to use the filters.
Well, I guess one filter couldn't hurt.
♪
Ew, I don't like that filter!
[ Laughs ] It's no filter.
What, where am I?
Where are my friends?
He, they're all dead.
We tried to tell you, but you just kept looking at your phone.
Time to take your medicine.
I don't want to! [ Screams ]
No!
[ Cellphone ringing ]
♪
She was a 26-year-old stay-at-home influencer.
Then one day... she was gone.
And now, let's hear a theme song we recorded
while getting trashed in a Trader Joe's parking lot.
♪ Kristen and Gina, Gina, Gina, Kristen ♪
♪ Kristen and Gina on Podnapped! ♪
Man: Hey, get out of the way! [ Horn honks ]
Come on!
Welcome to a very special live episode of Podnapped!
We're here with Emily, Alex, Josh,
and our good friend, Pinot Grigio.
Emily, when did you notice that your roommate,
BurningBridgette94, was missing?
I clocked it right away.
I'm a total podnapper.
Well, then you must know that 94% of abductors
turn out to be the victim's best friend.
What? I didn't do this.
Bridgette was everything to me.
Ooh, "was", past tense. That's a slip up.
Pretty much a confession.
Wait, wait, wait.
What qualifies you to accuse people?
I do warm up for "Conan."
I wear vintage dresses!
So, you guys did it, right?
- No! - Liar!
Okay, I love your guys's show, but none of us took Bridgette!
See how they're protecting each other?
Exactly what I would expect from the "Eastside Three."
Cool name!
Eastside Three swag is available in our store right now.
- How did you? - We used Pod Swag.
But the real question is...
Has gingivitis abducted your mouth?
Subscribe to Flosslocker and receive
a new artisanal dental floss every week.
We actually use this.
[ Whispering ] We totally don't.
♪
I don't think I can do it, Pearle.
Bridgette, if I can get clean, anyone can.
You had an addiction?
Oh, I couldn't live without it.
My whole body was on fire until I got that next fix.
Oh, my God. Heroin? Meth?
Six flags.
Magic Mountain.
No, I know what it is.
I had a season pass for years.
Any ride, you bet I rode it.
Crazanity, Dive Devil, Green Lantern First Flight.
I was ridin' that sweet dragon on the daily.
Then I learned, it was making me miss out on my real life.
Real life?
You mean that stuff I take pictures of?
- Whoa. - My theory?
Emily two-buck-chucked Bridgette into the pot,
while Alex cooked her up with some mussels and white wine,
and Josh played video games on the couch.
Case closed.
We didn't eat Bridgette!
You lay out a pretty airtight case.
So, what do you think, podballs?
Did they eat her or is she duct taped to a radiator
waiting to be set free?
Not to mansplain how podcasts work, ladies,
but I'm pretty sure you can't hear your listeners.
Oh, we can hear them.
Crowd: Set Bridgette free!
Lock up the Eastside Three!
Set Bridgette free!
Lock up the Eastside Three!
Awww. Our fans are the best.
Set Bridgette Free!
Lock up the Eastside Three!
Bridgette, what do you remember about this picture?
I used the Nashville filter to make it pretty.
It got 67 likes.
It probably would have gotten more
if I posted it later in the day.
But, do you remember what this latte tasted like?
Wait. Have I ever actually had a latte?
[ Slurps ]
[ Gasps ]
♪
[ Horn blares ]
♪
Whoa!
What else have I been missing out on?
Crowd: Set Bridgette free!
Man: They took BurningBridgette94, get 'em!
Oh, no.
Hey! I'm right here.
I wasn't abducted, I was just at Pearle's for a couple hours!
I pinot disagree-gio.
This woman looks nothing like BurningBridgette94.
Yeah, that's not her!
Where'd the Eastside three go?
Kill them!
Glad to see you're okay, Bridgette! Gotta go!
[ Chuckles ] Cool, street justice!
[ Chuckles ]
You won't find BurningBridgette94,
so stop looking for her!
She's not real.
She's a phony, chasing likes.
I've lost the last 10 years of my life to my phone,
and I bet you all have, too.
I like this Bridgette... in the flesh...
and that's the only like I need.
- Boo! - She's an imposter!
You're not the real BurningBridgette94!
Wait! BurningBridgette94 posted!
I don't know where this is from, but it's definitely her.
You won't find BurningBridgette94,
so stop looking for her!
What? I didn't post anything.
Aww. You posted it?
I didn't want people to miss what you had to say
just because they were too busy looking at their phones.
BurningBridgette94's right.
We need to stop looking at our phones,
and start looking at life.
[ Gasps ] Hey, check out that dog.
Pics or it wasn't cute!
- What breed is it? - Check Wikipedia.
- Oh, he's fast! - I'll call an Uber.
What a twist that she showed up alive.
Oh my, God. That never happens on Podnapped!
Sorry we accused you, Emily.
Well, it was wrong what you did, but since we're besties now,
we can totally hang out and...
Now that was a podcast!
Yeah, eat shit, Marc Maron!
I'm good.
Where are you going?
I'm going to the bathroom.
Without my phone.
♪