1 00:00:00,394 --> 00:00:01,400 [ Guitar strums ] 2 00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:04,391 ♪ Good morning ♪ 3 00:00:04,393 --> 00:00:06,395 - ♪ How are you? - ♪ Just fine ♪ 4 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:12,391 ♪ It's so wonderful to be with you today ♪ 5 00:00:12,393 --> 00:00:15,381 Wow, am I Mr. Adam Levine? 6 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,392 Because you kids have the voice. 7 00:00:17,394 --> 00:00:19,387 [ Laughter ] 8 00:00:19,389 --> 00:00:21,378 Good morning, children. 9 00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:22,395 Mr. Campbell, can I have a moment? 10 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,383 Certainly, Principal Becket. 11 00:00:24,385 --> 00:00:26,395 I'd like you to meet River Lake, 12 00:00:26,397 --> 00:00:28,387 our school's new music teacher. 13 00:00:28,389 --> 00:00:30,378 Well, enchanté! 14 00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:31,400 Bienvenue to chamomile. 15 00:00:32,378 --> 00:00:33,392 Oh! Thank you! 16 00:00:33,394 --> 00:00:35,381 Everyone says she's the best. 17 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:38,386 She'll visit your class every Tuesday and Thursday. 18 00:00:38,388 --> 00:00:41,380 These kids can be a bit shy with strangers. 19 00:00:41,382 --> 00:00:43,386 But don't worry, I'll warm them up for you. 20 00:00:44,389 --> 00:00:45,398 - [ Slurps ] - Mm. 21 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,391 What an empowering mug. 22 00:00:47,393 --> 00:00:50,393 Oh, this? It was a gift from the children. 23 00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:52,394 Attención, class. 24 00:00:52,396 --> 00:00:54,397 I'd like you to meet our new music teacher. 25 00:00:54,399 --> 00:00:57,385 - Her name is Ms. Lake, and... - Hello, kindergarten! 26 00:00:57,387 --> 00:01:00,396 I'm River Lake. If you know this one, let me hear you sing along! 27 00:01:00,398 --> 00:01:04,388 ♪ The more we say good morning, good morning, good morning ♪ 28 00:01:04,390 --> 00:01:08,392 ♪ The more we say good morning, the awesomer we'll be ♪ 29 00:01:10,386 --> 00:01:11,398 [ Chimes ring ] 30 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,396 ♪ With Dashiell and Emma and Candice and Winnie ♪ 31 00:01:15,398 --> 00:01:17,399 She knows our names! 32 00:01:18,377 --> 00:01:19,392 [ Drumming ] 33 00:01:19,394 --> 00:01:21,385 When I say "good," you say "morning." 34 00:01:21,387 --> 00:01:22,391 - Good! - Morning! 35 00:01:22,393 --> 00:01:24,397 - Good! - Morning! 36 00:01:24,399 --> 00:01:27,390 [ Guitar playing ] 37 00:01:28,394 --> 00:01:31,388 Children: Yeah! 38 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:35,397 Oh, fu-u-u-u-n. 39 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:48,398 ♪ 40 00:01:49,399 --> 00:01:51,397 - Good morning, Mr. Campbell. - Good morning! 41 00:01:51,399 --> 00:01:54,399 What do you say, Candice? Are you ready to carpe that diem? 42 00:01:55,377 --> 00:01:57,398 - [ Bicycle bell dings ] - Mom! That's her! That's her! 43 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,398 So that's the Ms. Lake? 44 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,385 She has us just call her "River." 45 00:02:02,387 --> 00:02:04,377 Isn't that cool, Emily? 46 00:02:04,379 --> 00:02:06,396 Nope, we don't do that. She's just been going on and on 47 00:02:06,398 --> 00:02:08,390 about River these last few days. 48 00:02:08,392 --> 00:02:10,385 Hmm, yeah? That's neat. 49 00:02:10,387 --> 00:02:12,381 [ Drumming ] 50 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:16,386 Rhythm is a language, and you guys are speakin' it! 51 00:02:16,388 --> 00:02:18,398 Tell me somethin', Esme! 52 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,379 What's the good word, Candice? 53 00:02:21,381 --> 00:02:24,398 Uh, yes! You guys, feel that groove! 54 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:29,388 Oh, I feel it! Dr. Jam in da house! 55 00:02:29,390 --> 00:02:33,396 And Dr. Jam says y'all need to floss! 56 00:02:33,398 --> 00:02:36,381 Gotta floss err'y day! 57 00:02:36,383 --> 00:02:37,392 This feels racist. 58 00:02:37,394 --> 00:02:39,394 Come on, class, keep the beat! 59 00:02:39,396 --> 00:02:41,398 - You go, Mr. Campbell! - Thanks. 60 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,387 Oh, and it's Dr. Jam. 61 00:02:43,389 --> 00:02:44,396 [ Laughs ] 62 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,398 Whoa! [ Children scream ] 63 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,399 It's all right! Myrtle is okay! 64 00:02:50,377 --> 00:02:51,391 See guys? [ All screaming ] 65 00:02:51,393 --> 00:02:53,388 Oh, God, blood. 66 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,381 Mm. [ Clears throat ] 67 00:02:57,383 --> 00:02:58,391 What? 68 00:02:58,393 --> 00:03:00,393 Oh, look, he's awake! 69 00:03:00,395 --> 00:03:02,384 How are you feeling, Mr. Campbell? 70 00:03:02,386 --> 00:03:04,392 Um, I'm okay. I just, um... 71 00:03:04,394 --> 00:03:06,378 It's 2:30?! 72 00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:08,379 You've been with them the whole day? 73 00:03:08,381 --> 00:03:10,383 - [ Gasps ] - Oh, I stitched you up. 74 00:03:10,385 --> 00:03:12,391 Don't you worry, we've been having so much fun together. 75 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,383 River taught us how to read! 76 00:03:14,385 --> 00:03:16,400 [ Chuckles ] Very funny, Candice. 77 00:03:18,386 --> 00:03:19,393 What? 78 00:03:19,395 --> 00:03:21,380 Even Ethan? 79 00:03:21,382 --> 00:03:24,383 Shh! Yo, I got to find out if that dude eats the ham. 80 00:03:24,385 --> 00:03:26,387 Okay, class, that's it for today. 81 00:03:26,389 --> 00:03:28,377 All: Ohh! 82 00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:31,389 Oh, it's all right. I'll see you again on Thursday. 83 00:03:31,391 --> 00:03:33,388 Aw! 84 00:03:33,390 --> 00:03:36,396 Girl: We love you, River. 85 00:03:36,398 --> 00:03:39,395 - Oh, God. - You're pathetic. 86 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,390 - Who said that? - Over here. 87 00:03:45,386 --> 00:03:47,388 - [ Gasps ] - Look at you, Campbell. 88 00:03:47,390 --> 00:03:49,397 These kids used to love you. Now? 89 00:03:49,399 --> 00:03:51,396 You're the world's greatest nothing! 90 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,379 That's not true! 91 00:03:53,381 --> 00:03:55,394 Th-That's not true? Oh, cut the shit! 92 00:03:55,396 --> 00:03:57,400 This River Lake has made a fool out of you. 93 00:03:58,378 --> 00:03:59,393 Well, what was I supposed to do? 94 00:03:59,395 --> 00:04:00,399 She has perfect pitch 95 00:04:01,377 --> 00:04:03,389 and this casual retro-chic style that just... 96 00:04:03,391 --> 00:04:04,396 - [ Spits ] - Ow! 97 00:04:04,398 --> 00:04:06,391 Shut up and listen, you little bitch! 98 00:04:06,393 --> 00:04:08,384 Do you want to get back to being everyone's 99 00:04:08,386 --> 00:04:11,384 - favorite teacher or not? - Yes, of course I do! 100 00:04:11,386 --> 00:04:13,393 Then you have to crush her. 101 00:04:13,395 --> 00:04:16,396 ♪ 102 00:04:16,398 --> 00:04:18,380 Ha. 103 00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:21,383 Yes. Sip of me. 104 00:04:21,385 --> 00:04:23,379 Sip my ass! 105 00:04:23,381 --> 00:04:26,386 Okay, who's ready for a musical parade? 106 00:04:26,388 --> 00:04:27,396 All: Me! 107 00:04:27,398 --> 00:04:30,391 All right! I'll give you each an instrument and... 108 00:04:30,393 --> 00:04:32,393 [ Gasping ] 109 00:04:32,395 --> 00:04:35,378 Oh, my God! What happened? 110 00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,385 The instruments, they're all broken. 111 00:04:37,387 --> 00:04:39,382 What? Oh, no! 112 00:04:39,384 --> 00:04:41,397 You know what? I bet those punk fifth-graders did this. 113 00:04:41,399 --> 00:04:44,395 Well, I guess music class will have to be canceled today. 114 00:04:44,397 --> 00:04:46,383 Oh, no. No, no, no. 115 00:04:46,385 --> 00:04:50,397 The only instrument we need is right here. 116 00:04:50,399 --> 00:04:55,383 [ Beatboxing ] 117 00:04:55,385 --> 00:05:01,382 [ Vocalizing ] 118 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,397 [ All vocalizing ] 119 00:05:08,387 --> 00:05:11,377 [ Vocalizing continues ] 120 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:15,381 I think we've got a front-runner for teacher of the year! 121 00:05:16,394 --> 00:05:18,378 [ Chuckles ] 122 00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:19,396 Oh, see you all next time! 123 00:05:19,398 --> 00:05:23,380 Thank you so much for sharing your heart songs with me. 124 00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:27,386 [ Sighs ] Was that all you got, you man-bunned little bitch? 125 00:05:27,388 --> 00:05:28,391 E-Excuse me? 126 00:05:28,393 --> 00:05:30,386 Busting up my instruments? 127 00:05:30,388 --> 00:05:32,378 I ought to rip your dick off. 128 00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:33,396 I don't know what you're talking about. 129 00:05:33,398 --> 00:05:35,380 Oh, please, Campbell. 130 00:05:35,382 --> 00:05:36,387 You think you're the first teacher 131 00:05:36,389 --> 00:05:38,380 who tried to Nancy Kerrigan me? 132 00:05:38,382 --> 00:05:39,387 I've got dual masters degrees 133 00:05:39,389 --> 00:05:41,387 in music and early childhood education. 134 00:05:41,389 --> 00:05:44,395 I can drum circles around your Montessori bullshit. 135 00:05:44,397 --> 00:05:48,387 Big talk from someone who only teaches two days a week. 136 00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:50,384 Oh, I'm gonna be full-time. 137 00:05:50,386 --> 00:05:53,384 In fact, maybe I'll take your job. 138 00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:56,386 You... frickin'... Crap! 139 00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:58,390 [ School bell rings ] 140 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,395 Um, River, we're hosting a barbecue tomorrow 141 00:06:01,397 --> 00:06:04,379 in honor of my losing my first tooth. 142 00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:05,397 Would you like to come and sing, 143 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:08,399 since you're the best singer in the whole world? 144 00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:12,381 Sweetie, I'm sure Ms. Lake is really busy on the weekends. 145 00:06:12,383 --> 00:06:16,383 Candice, I would love to sing at your rite of passage. 146 00:06:16,385 --> 00:06:19,392 Yeah-ha-ha! She said yes! 147 00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:22,380 [ All cheering ] 148 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,379 ♪ 149 00:06:24,381 --> 00:06:25,397 [ Hums ] 150 00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:27,400 [ Chuckles ] [ Bicycle bell rings ] 151 00:06:28,378 --> 00:06:30,378 Unh! 152 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:32,395 [ Sobbing ] 153 00:06:33,395 --> 00:06:34,398 Ow! 154 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,398 You don't deserve to drink piss out of me! 155 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:39,394 You've never been invited to a kid's house. 156 00:06:39,396 --> 00:06:41,399 Now she's gonna sing at one. 157 00:06:42,377 --> 00:06:44,393 She... She's a fake! A phony! 158 00:06:44,395 --> 00:06:47,388 It's time to strap on your dick and end this! 159 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,379 ♪ 160 00:06:49,381 --> 00:06:51,386 [ Vehicle approaches, brakes squeal ] 161 00:06:51,388 --> 00:06:53,399 ♪ 162 00:06:54,377 --> 00:06:55,388 Okay. 163 00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:57,379 [ Laughs maniacally ] 164 00:06:57,381 --> 00:07:00,391 Neighbor: Hey! Cut those brake lines quieter! 165 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,390 I'd like to try that. 166 00:07:04,392 --> 00:07:06,395 So, how do you know Candice? 167 00:07:06,397 --> 00:07:07,399 What? 168 00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:09,388 Mom, where's River? 169 00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:11,383 She promised she'd come and sing. 170 00:07:11,385 --> 00:07:12,392 I don't know, sweetie. 171 00:07:12,394 --> 00:07:14,397 But if you want, I could get my guitar and sing. 172 00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:19,377 Ew. I promised my friends something cool... a teacher. 173 00:07:19,379 --> 00:07:20,393 Ding-dong! [ Chuckles ] 174 00:07:20,395 --> 00:07:23,398 Mr. Campbell? Uh, hi. What are you... 175 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,400 I was just in the neighborhood and thought Ms. Lake 176 00:07:26,378 --> 00:07:28,382 might need this for her big performance. 177 00:07:28,384 --> 00:07:29,388 She didn't come. 178 00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:31,380 Wait, what? 179 00:07:31,382 --> 00:07:33,395 She blew off your barbecue? 180 00:07:33,397 --> 00:07:38,377 I guess there's some teachers in this world you just can't trust! 181 00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:43,380 Wait a second. I just happen to have my karaoke machine. 182 00:07:43,382 --> 00:07:47,381 Candice, how would you like it if I sang? 183 00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,400 - Uh, no tha... - Yay, this worked out for everyone! 184 00:07:50,378 --> 00:07:51,390 Children, gather round! 185 00:07:51,392 --> 00:07:54,383 Criss-cross applesauce, por favor. 186 00:07:54,385 --> 00:07:57,383 ♪ 187 00:07:57,385 --> 00:07:59,396 Grace and greetings. I'm Mr. Camp... 188 00:07:59,398 --> 00:08:02,380 - River! You came! - [ Gasps ] - Hi! 189 00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:05,383 Oh, Candice, I am so sorry I'm late. 190 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,380 I just came from the hospital. 191 00:08:07,382 --> 00:08:09,378 - Oh, God, are you okay? - I'm fine. 192 00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:11,381 I loaned my bike to my neighbor this morning, 193 00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:13,377 and he got into a terrible accident. 194 00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:15,383 He's gonna be okay, though. And even better, 195 00:08:15,385 --> 00:08:18,377 he and his doctor fell in love! 196 00:08:18,379 --> 00:08:19,397 All: Aw! 197 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,387 Mr. Campbell, 198 00:08:21,389 --> 00:08:24,384 thank you so much for warming them up. 199 00:08:24,386 --> 00:08:27,398 ♪ 200 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,387 Finish her! 201 00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,395 Okay, kids, whoever sings better gets to stay as your teacher, 202 00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:36,388 and the other has to drive out to the desert to die. 203 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,393 Bring it. 204 00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:39,387 It's a teacher sing-off! 205 00:08:39,389 --> 00:08:41,398 ♪ I believe the children are our future ♪ 206 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,387 No, I do! 207 00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:46,396 ♪ Teach them well, and let them lead the way ♪ 208 00:08:46,398 --> 00:08:52,377 ♪ Show them all the beauty they possess inside ♪ 209 00:08:52,379 --> 00:08:56,390 ♪ G-G-G-G-Give them a sense of pride ♪ 210 00:08:56,392 --> 00:08:58,399 ♪ A lonely place to be ♪ 211 00:08:59,377 --> 00:09:01,394 ♪ And so I learned to depend on me ♪ 212 00:09:01,396 --> 00:09:03,397 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 213 00:09:03,399 --> 00:09:05,396 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yow ♪ 214 00:09:05,398 --> 00:09:07,398 ♪ N-N-N-N-N-N-N-No, no, no, no, no, no ♪ 215 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:11,379 I can't believe this. ♪ Eeeeeeeh ♪ 216 00:09:11,381 --> 00:09:13,396 ♪ Caw, caw, c-c-caw ♪ 217 00:09:13,398 --> 00:09:22,400 Both: ♪ Can't take away my dignity-y-y-y ♪ 218 00:09:23,378 --> 00:09:25,381 Yeah! That was so great! 219 00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:27,382 Maybe we do work better together. 220 00:09:27,384 --> 00:09:28,784 I'm sorry I tried to steal your job. 221 00:09:29,377 --> 00:09:31,394 And I'm sorry I tried to kill you by cutting your brakes. 222 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,390 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 223 00:09:33,392 --> 00:09:35,398 Only if you're thinking what I'm thinking. 224 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,392 Let's sing the 1987 hit "I Knew You Were Waiting" 225 00:09:38,394 --> 00:09:40,387 by Aretha Franklin and George Michael, 226 00:09:40,389 --> 00:09:43,380 abridged karaoke version! 227 00:09:43,382 --> 00:10:30,387 ♪ 228 00:10:30,389 --> 00:10:33,385 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 229 00:10:33,387 --> 00:10:35,382 - Ooh, that's my favorite. - I'd like to try that. 230 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,386 [ Chuckles ] Um, did we just agree to become best frenemies? 231 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,380 Bitch, you know we did. 232 00:10:40,382 --> 00:10:41,386 No! 233 00:10:41,388 --> 00:10:43,391 No friends! Only enemies! 234 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,383 You don't own me! 235 00:10:46,382 --> 00:10:48,389 - [ Panting ] - Oh, everything okay? 236 00:10:48,391 --> 00:10:51,382 Yeah, I'm just hot off a psychotic break. 237 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,392 [ Laughs ] 238 00:10:52,394 --> 00:10:54,399 Anyway, did you hear the goss about Ethan's dad? 239 00:10:55,377 --> 00:10:56,386 Ooh, spill the tea! 240 00:10:56,388 --> 00:10:58,394 Word is he's getting indicted. 241 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:48,386 ♪