1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,379
[ Children laughing ]
2
00:00:03,381 --> 00:00:04,391
Ugh, how is it that every kid
3
00:00:04,393 --> 00:00:07,391
seems to have their birthday
party in the same six weeks?
4
00:00:07,393 --> 00:00:09,378
Aw, they're not that bad.
5
00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:10,460
[ Grunts, chuckles weakly ]
6
00:00:11,377 --> 00:00:13,380
We've got three
more this weekend.
7
00:00:13,382 --> 00:00:15,379
Only three? Lucky.
8
00:00:15,381 --> 00:00:16,387
We've got five.
9
00:00:16,389 --> 00:00:17,396
See you guys...
10
00:00:17,398 --> 00:00:21,382
[ Children laughing, shouting ]
11
00:00:21,384 --> 00:00:36,398
♪
12
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,380
This party rules!
13
00:00:38,382 --> 00:00:41,383
I can't wait for my party
next weekend.
14
00:00:41,385 --> 00:00:42,391
[ Chuckling nervously ]
Us, too...
15
00:00:42,393 --> 00:00:44,395
Can't wait...
[ Chuckles weakly ]
16
00:00:44,397 --> 00:00:46,388
I can't take
any more forced fun.
17
00:00:46,390 --> 00:00:48,395
Just kill me now.
[ Shouts ]
18
00:00:48,397 --> 00:00:51,388
[ Groans ]
Thank you.
19
00:00:51,390 --> 00:00:57,400
♪
20
00:00:58,378 --> 00:01:04,385
♪
21
00:01:04,387 --> 00:01:06,390
Okay, I've booked the magician
for Candice's party,
22
00:01:06,392 --> 00:01:08,383
ordered the cake,
I bought the decorations,
23
00:01:08,385 --> 00:01:10,396
and scored some Xanax
to get us through it.
24
00:01:10,398 --> 00:01:12,400
When did birthday parties
become so not fun?
25
00:01:13,378 --> 00:01:15,380
Yeah, I feel like the parents
deserve a party
26
00:01:15,382 --> 00:01:17,389
just for going
to all these parties.
27
00:01:17,391 --> 00:01:19,389
Wait, can we do that?
Do what?
28
00:01:19,391 --> 00:01:23,391
Throw a party for the
parents at the same time
as Candice's party.
29
00:01:23,393 --> 00:01:26,380
Can we do that?
30
00:01:26,382 --> 00:01:28,389
I'll get Pearle
to watch the kids!
I'm ordering a keg.
31
00:01:28,391 --> 00:01:30,386
Oh, my God, we could do
weed delivery.
32
00:01:30,388 --> 00:01:31,397
Siri, how do you make peyote?
33
00:01:31,399 --> 00:01:34,395
Let's buy cocaine!
34
00:01:34,397 --> 00:01:36,394
Too far?
Too far.
35
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:40,394
[ Children laughing, screaming ]
36
00:01:40,396 --> 00:01:42,378
Hey! [ Blows whistle ]
37
00:01:42,380 --> 00:01:44,382
Put that snot back in your nose!
38
00:01:44,384 --> 00:01:47,392
[ Gasps ]
That cake is ginormous.
39
00:01:47,394 --> 00:01:50,393
Here comes the cavalry!
Mom, Dad!
40
00:01:50,395 --> 00:01:52,388
Come into the bounce house
with me!
41
00:01:52,390 --> 00:01:53,396
It's so fun!
42
00:01:53,398 --> 00:01:55,398
We have to bring this
to the garage, sweetie.
43
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,377
You go have fun
with your friends.
44
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,393
Hmm...
45
00:02:03,395 --> 00:02:06,400
[ Electronic dance music plays ]
46
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:09,387
This is how you celebrate
a kid's birthday.
47
00:02:09,389 --> 00:02:12,377
No kid shit, just booze.
48
00:02:12,379 --> 00:02:15,378
Wow!
Cookies you can eat?
49
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,386
My favorite!
50
00:02:16,388 --> 00:02:18,382
We're the best parents.
51
00:02:18,384 --> 00:02:21,381
[ Clears throat ]
Candice... [ Chuckles ]
52
00:02:21,383 --> 00:02:23,389
You're not supposed
to be in here.
But you are.
53
00:02:23,391 --> 00:02:25,395
Uh, let's get off the big metal
juice box, sweetie.
54
00:02:25,397 --> 00:02:27,400
Everybody, we'll be right back.
Drink up!
55
00:02:28,378 --> 00:02:29,394
[ Cheering ]
56
00:02:29,396 --> 00:02:32,383
Hey, look, the magician's here!
57
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,386
You can set up over there
and start whenever you're ready.
58
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,399
The Amazing Sardini
is always ready!
59
00:02:37,377 --> 00:02:38,394
But where are the parents?
60
00:02:38,396 --> 00:02:40,383
Well, we had this idea
that the parents
61
00:02:40,385 --> 00:02:41,465
could have their own party.
62
00:02:42,377 --> 00:02:43,977
Cool, right?
We got tired of the standard
63
00:02:44,378 --> 00:02:45,387
kids birthday party thing.
64
00:02:45,389 --> 00:02:48,386
But magic is an all-ages
entertainment.
65
00:02:48,388 --> 00:02:50,397
Don't you want to see the look
on your children's faces
66
00:02:50,399 --> 00:02:53,387
when I create... illusions?
67
00:02:53,389 --> 00:02:55,391
Yeah...
We had this awesome idea
68
00:02:55,393 --> 00:02:57,393
that the parents
could have a party.
69
00:02:57,395 --> 00:02:59,380
So...
70
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:03,388
Uhh...
71
00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:05,385
[ Panting ]
72
00:03:05,387 --> 00:03:07,393
[ Cheering ]
73
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:10,389
Oh, yeah, whippin' out
the six pack!
74
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,395
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, my God.
75
00:03:12,397 --> 00:03:15,379
Wouldn't it be funny
if we all made out?
76
00:03:15,381 --> 00:03:17,385
Ha, let's get naked and fight!
77
00:03:17,387 --> 00:03:19,387
- [ Grunts ]
- Ow! I'm down.
78
00:03:19,389 --> 00:03:21,399
What the butt?!
We were gone for five minutes!
79
00:03:22,377 --> 00:03:23,382
What'd you expect?
80
00:03:23,384 --> 00:03:24,395
You gave a bunch of parents
a keg.
81
00:03:24,397 --> 00:03:27,383
Everyone knows once you have
kids you can't hold your liquor.
82
00:03:27,385 --> 00:03:30,391
Whoo! I just had a Corona!
83
00:03:30,393 --> 00:03:32,392
- [ Groans ]
- [ Gasps ]
84
00:03:32,394 --> 00:03:34,391
[ Moaning ]
85
00:03:36,386 --> 00:03:39,398
And what's the first rule
of Naked Fight Club?
86
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,387
Hey, some nerd is doing magic.
87
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,379
Let's go make fun of him.
88
00:03:44,381 --> 00:03:47,382
What seems like
an ordinary handkerchief
89
00:03:47,384 --> 00:03:51,378
is actually
a magic handkerchief.
[ Dove cooing ]
90
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:54,392
[ Parents shouting
indistinctly ]
Okay, guys.
Let's get back into the garage.
91
00:03:54,394 --> 00:03:56,400
- Fake thumb!
- Magic sucks!
92
00:03:57,378 --> 00:03:58,618
Suck your own [bleep]!
[ Gasps ]
93
00:03:59,377 --> 00:04:01,392
Ma'am!
There are children here!
94
00:04:01,394 --> 00:04:03,386
[ Cheering ]
95
00:04:03,388 --> 00:04:07,390
Hey kids, watch me
make this beer disappear.
96
00:04:07,392 --> 00:04:09,378
[ Children eww ]
Shut up!
97
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,378
It's a stout,
and it's my second!
98
00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:13,390
Ladies and gentlemen,
if everyone could please respect
99
00:04:13,392 --> 00:04:15,381
the art of magic for a moment.
100
00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:18,389
[ Booing and jeering ]
101
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,399
Enough!
You wanted a party
102
00:04:21,377 --> 00:04:24,389
without children, did you not?
103
00:04:24,391 --> 00:04:25,400
[ Indistinct chatter ]
104
00:04:26,378 --> 00:04:29,382
Exite cerimonia!
105
00:04:33,389 --> 00:04:34,400
[ Pops ]
106
00:04:36,387 --> 00:04:38,391
[ Cheering ]
107
00:04:38,393 --> 00:04:40,390
Now that's a good trick.
108
00:04:40,392 --> 00:04:42,399
I took a class
at the Magic Castle, so...
109
00:04:43,377 --> 00:04:44,384
Uh...
What just happened?
110
00:04:44,386 --> 00:04:46,377
Did he just... actually...
111
00:04:46,379 --> 00:04:48,381
What did you do?!
Where are the kids?!
112
00:04:48,383 --> 00:04:51,381
I sent them somewhere they can
enjoy a real birthday party,
113
00:04:51,383 --> 00:04:53,382
which you clearly
cannot provide.
114
00:04:53,384 --> 00:04:56,389
If you want them, put on
the hats and go get them.
115
00:04:56,391 --> 00:04:59,382
[ Snaps finger ]
116
00:04:59,384 --> 00:05:00,387
Alex, Bridgette!
117
00:05:00,389 --> 00:05:01,509
Keep the parents distracted.
118
00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:04,394
Hey, I think there's some
artisanal pizzas
119
00:05:04,396 --> 00:05:05,398
in the garage...
120
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,391
Ready?
Let's do this.
121
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,391
[ Pops ]
122
00:05:11,393 --> 00:05:13,385
[ Both gasp ]
123
00:05:13,387 --> 00:05:14,390
Where the hell are we?
124
00:05:14,392 --> 00:05:18,377
Gifty: Birthday World,
ya silly bean!
125
00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:21,381
A land of nonstop fun
where the currency is laughs
126
00:05:21,383 --> 00:05:23,394
and it's illegal to frown!
127
00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:25,392
Just kidding, we don't
have government here.
128
00:05:25,394 --> 00:05:28,384
O-kay...
Where are the kids?
129
00:05:28,386 --> 00:05:32,377
They're atop Mount Cake
in Castle Joy!
130
00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:35,384
Yay, Castle Joy!
131
00:05:35,386 --> 00:05:37,383
[ Children screaming ]
132
00:05:37,385 --> 00:05:39,389
And what's happens
in Castle Joy?
133
00:05:39,391 --> 00:05:42,387
A never-ending birthday party!
It's like Chuck E. Cheese,
134
00:05:42,389 --> 00:05:44,869
except soon your children will
forget they even have parents...
135
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,387
[distorted ] and choose
to stay here for all eternity.
136
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,387
[ Normal voice ] Yaaaaay!
137
00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:51,390
[ Dings ]
This place is a nightmare.
138
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,378
Come on!
139
00:05:55,399 --> 00:05:57,387
[ Growling ]
140
00:05:57,389 --> 00:06:22,393
♪
141
00:06:22,395 --> 00:06:24,379
[ Screaming ]
142
00:06:24,381 --> 00:06:26,386
[ Chomping ]
143
00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:35,380
♪
144
00:06:35,382 --> 00:06:36,385
[ Both gasp ]
145
00:06:36,387 --> 00:06:38,388
[ Balloons squeaking ]
146
00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:44,388
♪
147
00:06:44,390 --> 00:06:45,395
[ Children screaming ]
148
00:06:45,397 --> 00:06:47,387
Candice? We're coming!
149
00:06:47,389 --> 00:06:49,380
[ Screaming continues ]
150
00:06:49,382 --> 00:06:54,381
[ Children cheering ]
151
00:06:54,383 --> 00:06:56,388
Candice?
152
00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:59,389
Are you okay?
Candice?
153
00:06:59,391 --> 00:07:01,389
[ Laughs ] Gotcha!
[ Both gasp ]
154
00:07:01,391 --> 00:07:03,384
Together: Sardini!
155
00:07:03,386 --> 00:07:05,391
[ Children groaning ]
156
00:07:07,392 --> 00:07:09,377
Give us back our daughter,
Sardini.
157
00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:10,388
We survived all your challenges.
158
00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:13,381
[ Laughs ] But the most
important challenges
159
00:07:13,383 --> 00:07:16,395
are yet to come.
[ Grunts ]
160
00:07:16,397 --> 00:07:19,381
[ Both shout ]
161
00:07:19,383 --> 00:07:22,391
First, you must select
all images
162
00:07:22,393 --> 00:07:24,384
with traffic lights on them!
163
00:07:24,386 --> 00:07:25,387
Really?
164
00:07:25,389 --> 00:07:27,378
Sorry, it's part
of the procedure.
165
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,381
We need to make sure
you're not a bot.
166
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,379
[ Window blipping ]
167
00:07:32,381 --> 00:07:33,385
[ Window chimes ]
168
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,393
Nice, Em!
169
00:07:35,395 --> 00:07:39,398
Next, a test of how well
you know your daughter.
170
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,392
[ Ominous organ plays ]
171
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:46,387
What is her favorite
kind of birthday cake?
172
00:07:48,389 --> 00:07:52,383
Easy, she likes strawberries.
173
00:07:52,385 --> 00:07:53,396
No!
[ Organ blares ]
174
00:07:53,398 --> 00:07:56,378
[ Screams ]
No!
175
00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:57,391
It's a trick question!
176
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,377
Candice loves all cake.
177
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,391
Her favorite is going to be
the biggest one.
178
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,387
Oh, yeah!
179
00:08:05,381 --> 00:08:06,399
Very good.
180
00:08:07,377 --> 00:08:12,384
Now, what is her favorite
birthday activity?
181
00:08:14,377 --> 00:08:16,378
Well, she did say she wanted
to bounce with us.
182
00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:17,392
But remember how hard
she laughed
183
00:08:17,394 --> 00:08:20,378
when we played musical chairs
and I fell on my face?
184
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:22,380
She also loves it
when I swing the piñata.
185
00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:24,393
Don't worry, children!
If they get it wrong,
186
00:08:24,395 --> 00:08:26,378
you'll spend the rest
of your days
187
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,399
living off of nutritious
Necco Wafers!
188
00:08:29,377 --> 00:08:30,393
Yaaay!
189
00:08:30,395 --> 00:08:32,379
[ Roaring ]
190
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,387
It could be any of these things.
191
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,389
That's the answer.
It's all of these.
192
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:39,383
Her favorite activity
is the one she does with us.
193
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:42,396
You are correct!
194
00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:44,399
But for your final test,
195
00:08:45,377 --> 00:08:48,388
answer the question
of a special guest.
196
00:08:50,394 --> 00:08:51,399
Mom, Dad?
197
00:08:52,377 --> 00:08:53,391
Candice!
[ Breathing heavily ]
198
00:08:53,393 --> 00:08:57,386
Ah-ah-ah, first you answer
the question.
199
00:08:57,388 --> 00:08:58,394
Uh...
200
00:08:58,396 --> 00:09:01,378
Why'd you guys want to spend
time in the garage
201
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:03,394
instead of with me?
202
00:09:03,396 --> 00:09:06,382
We blew it, honey.
We didn't mean to ignore you.
203
00:09:06,384 --> 00:09:08,388
We just wanted to do something
nice for the parents,
204
00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:09,398
and we got wrapped up in it.
205
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,384
Sometimes parents want
to have grown-up fun,
206
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:15,380
but we were selfish.
Today should've been about you.
207
00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:18,391
And to show me how sorry you are
you'll get me an iPad Pro?
208
00:09:18,393 --> 00:09:20,382
Well...
[ Both chuckling nervously ]
209
00:09:20,384 --> 00:09:22,398
Great. Amazing Sardini,
this place is cool,
210
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,400
but I'd like
to finish my party at home.
211
00:09:26,378 --> 00:09:28,397
Very well.
212
00:09:28,399 --> 00:09:30,382
-Candice!
213
00:09:30,384 --> 00:09:31,390
Congratulations, parents.
214
00:09:31,392 --> 00:09:34,396
You learned the true
meaning of birthdays.
215
00:09:34,398 --> 00:09:36,386
Hooray!
216
00:09:36,388 --> 00:09:40,382
[ Hacking ]
217
00:09:40,384 --> 00:09:42,393
You are free to go.
218
00:09:42,395 --> 00:09:45,385
Candice, I must admit
I was hoping
219
00:09:45,387 --> 00:09:47,397
you would choose
to stay here with me.
220
00:09:47,399 --> 00:09:50,398
You see, I have no children
of my own.
221
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,382
I can't have them.
222
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,378
Skateboarding accident
when I was a teen.
223
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:55,397
I was doing a trick
on a handrail.
224
00:09:55,399 --> 00:09:58,381
I think you can imagine
how that went.
[ Inaudible ]
225
00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:00,389
The one thing
that gives my life purpose
226
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:04,389
is letting children d... d...
227
00:10:04,391 --> 00:10:06,388
Guess it's just you
and me again.
228
00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:08,377
There, there, Sardini.
229
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:11,393
[ Slurping ]
Both moaning ]
230
00:10:11,395 --> 00:10:14,381
Unwrap me...
Oh, yes, mmm...
231
00:10:14,383 --> 00:10:16,378
Oh, Gifty...
232
00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:20,385
[ Parents snoring ]
And the 12th thing only
a true '90s kid will remember...
233
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,386
is Tamagotchis.
234
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,393
[ Snoring ]
235
00:10:23,395 --> 00:10:26,387
Hey, I thought they'd never
fall asleep.
236
00:10:26,389 --> 00:10:29,390
Aww... they look so peaceful.
237
00:10:29,392 --> 00:10:32,388
[ Cheering and laughter ]
I-I'm awake!
238
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,396
I was watching them the whole
time. [ Breathes deeply ]
239
00:10:34,398 --> 00:10:38,387
[ Whispering ] Shhh!
We just got them down!
240
00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:39,398
Can I go in the bouncy house?
241
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,389
- With you guys?
- Let's get in that bounce house.
242
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,390
As a family!
243
00:10:44,392 --> 00:10:48,396
[ Laughter ]
244
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,399
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
tell me more about this
245
00:10:51,377 --> 00:10:53,382
universal basic income.
246
00:10:53,384 --> 00:10:57,383
[ Electronic dance music plays ]
247
00:10:57,385 --> 00:10:59,390
Hey, man, you do you.
248
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:48,397
♪