Pearle: Randy, you up?
Better get your butt outta bed! You've got a long trip!
[ Yawning ]
[ Country music playing ]
Uh, make sure not to use that toilet while I'm gone, Ma.
I gotta fix that nasty clog.
Okay. Have a safe one, baby!
♪
[ Bicycle bell chimes ]
Your cheapest ticket to anywhere, please.
Employee: This will serve as final boarding call
for flight 833 to Denver. [ Wand squeaking ]
Phew, made it!
One off-da-hook Donkey Sauce deep-fried Flavorburger, please!
Ah.
[ Cash register dings ] [ Bicycle bell chimes ]
♪
Ma, I got your burger home in record time!
You can eat it hot for once. [ Man grunting ]
[ Rhythmic squeaking ] Pearle: Now stick it in!
Get in there real deep!
Ma? [ Both grunting ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Grunting continues ]
[ Gasps ]
It's not what it looks like. We're lovers!
Huh?
I love this... man.
Ah... oooh. Ew.
♪
How could you hire another handyman behind my back?
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
You're a fragile boy.
I'm a fragile man!
And being a handyman is my thing.
That's why I get to live here rent-free.
I thought it was because you're the landlord's son.
[ Splutters ]
Randy, I'm sorry it came to this,
but things had to get fixed, and, well, you're...
- I'm what?! - Eh...
you may not exactly be good at fixing things?
Says when?!
[ Muttering ] Numbers, numbers.
[ Gulping ]
[ Grunting ]
That'll hold.
But repairs are my calling.
Maybe find a different calling?
Yeah! You're good at tons of stuff.
- Binge-watching. - Toasting bread?
Not wearing a shirt?
Those examples are bullshit and you know it!
I'm gonna do what troubled young men have done for centuries...
Go... to... sea.
[ Exhales deeply ] This is where I belong!
[ Metal creaking ]
[ Horn blares ]
[ Shouts, gasps ]
[ Kraken roaring ]
[ Coughing ]
Oh, no!
This is my nightmare... being cast away
on a desert island,
like in that Tom Hanks movie.
What was the name of that one?
Dang it!
[ Groans ] "Tom Hanks movies"...
[ Cellphone chimes ] Oh, that was fast.
Tom Hanks was in "Big?"
Huh. Learn something new everyday.
Hit the old Wikipedia here, crank the brightness...
Better read this slowly for full comprehension...
"Tom Hanks has been featured in many films
including the one where he is stranded all alone, by himself.
The title of that movie is..."
[ Cellphone beeps ] Noooooo!
♪
Noooooo!
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts, groans ]
Dang it... [ Groaning ]
♪ Hammers and nails, hammers and nails ♪
♪ Nails and hammers, a ladder or two ♪
We know what to do. Righty tighty, lefty loosey!
- Need more caulk! - You can't fix anything!
Why are you even trying, you tiny me's?!
[ Toilet flushes ]
How can I ever repay you?
I take cash, credit,
or maternal love.
Don't pay him, Maaa!
[ Screaming ]
♪ Handy Randy, Handy Randy, Handy Randy, Randy Hand ♪ ♪ [ Screaming continues ]
What is this David Lynch bullshit?!
[ Laughter ]
[ Screams ]
[ Groans ]
Welp, I guess I did find my true calling...
Death.
Take me now, cruel God!
Bob Vila from "This Old House?"
Tim Allen as that guy from "Home Improvement"
- whose name I forgot? - [ "Home Improvement" grunt ]
- Ikea Man? - [ Pops ]
Nice to meat you, too!
You guys are legends!
My handyman inspiration.
We're here to save you, Randy.
If you don't build yourself a shelter and quick,
you will die.
[ Grunting ] Gruh-oh.
Aw ...can't build nothing. I'm not handy.
And even if I were, I've got no tools.
You've got the most important tool of all.
[ Pops ]
Me?
Exactamundo!
You're right.
I am a tool.
That's the spirit. And don't worry,
we've got your back, right fellas?
[ Grunting ]
♪
[ Tree crashes ]
♪
[ Grunting ]
[ Dings, pops ]
♪
[ Pops, dings ] [ Drill whirs ]
Would you look at that?
Home sweet home.
An exact replica of our building.
What do you guys think?
[ As Josh ] So cool!
[ Feminine ] I wanna bring all my boyfriends here.
As a working mom who wants to have it all, I love it!
And I'm Alex!
Son, I'm gonna say this in the least racist accent I can!
You did good.
Also, I love you now.
Thanks, Ma. Built it all from memory.
Every detail's the same...
the floor's crooked, the walls are kinda janky.
It's even got that monster toilet clog.
[ Chuckles ] Come to think of it,
I could finally take care of that.
[ Grunting ]
[ Straining ]
What the butt?!
[ Shouts ]
No! Ma!
[ Crying loudly ]
[ Cries ] I'm sorry for your loss, Randy.
[ Crying ] How could this have happened?
No. [ Murmuring ]
Oh, yeah, no.
[ Dings ] Oh. [ Gasps ]
[ Squeaking ]
♪
Oh, no. If Ma fixes that clog,
the whole house will collapse and crush everyone!
Unless...
Unless I save them. [ Thunder crashes ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Grunts ]
Thank you, guys!
Thank you for teaching me to give the ultimate handy!
That's a weird way to put it, but you're welcome.
♪
[ Grunts ]
[ Steel drum playing ]
Randy: [ Breathing heavily ]
I'm too late!
[ Shouts ] Randy!
Clear that clog and we die!
That's a load-bearing clog.
If you clear it without substituting
a comparable support, this whole place goes down.
Yeah, okay, buddy.
[ Grunts ]
Take cover, Ma!
[ Grunting ]
Randy?! What's happening?
I'm rerouting all the pipes to clear the clog.
Get to your toilets and wait for my signal!
♪
Ax kick! [ Grunts ]
♪
[ Straining ]
[ Hisses ]
Toothpaste!
[ Hissing ]
[ Grunting ]
You son of a bitch.
♪
Okay, guys! On the count of three,
I want you to flush that toilet!
I can't do it!
You've got to!
Three, two, one!
Fluuush!
♪
That'll hold.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
You saved the house, baby!
[ Island music playing ]
♪
And I'm Alex!