1
00:00:05,043 --> 00:00:06,055
[ Rock music plays ]
2
00:00:06,057 --> 00:00:08,062
[ Cellphone blips ]
[ Door opens ]
3
00:00:08,064 --> 00:00:14,053
♪
4
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:16,060
[ Moaning ]
5
00:00:16,062 --> 00:00:20,064
♪
6
00:00:20,066 --> 00:00:24,057
[ Cellphones blipping ]
7
00:00:24,059 --> 00:00:26,051
[ Cellphones clicking ]
8
00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:31,053
[ Blipping continues ]
9
00:00:31,055 --> 00:00:32,063
[ Tattoo gun buzzing ]
10
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:34,052
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
11
00:00:34,054 --> 00:00:42,056
♪
12
00:00:42,058 --> 00:00:45,047
[ Blipping continues ]
13
00:00:45,049 --> 00:00:51,046
♪
14
00:00:51,048 --> 00:00:53,048
[ Record scratches ]
15
00:00:53,050 --> 00:00:56,054
[ Choir vocalizing ]
16
00:00:56,056 --> 00:01:04,050
♪
17
00:01:04,052 --> 00:01:06,050
[ Cellphone dings ]
18
00:01:06,052 --> 00:01:07,054
Derek!
19
00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:09,044
[ Cellphone chimes ]
20
00:01:09,046 --> 00:01:12,045
[ Groans loudly ]
Not now, Beyoncé!
21
00:01:12,047 --> 00:01:25,051
♪
22
00:01:25,053 --> 00:01:26,065
I got ghosted again!
23
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:29,058
Why is it so hard to find a guy
who won't leave?
24
00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:32,054
Trust me, one day you'll
find your perfect match.
25
00:01:32,056 --> 00:01:34,044
I did!
[ Door opens ]
26
00:01:34,046 --> 00:01:36,063
- We got a street couch!
- Oh, hell no!
27
00:01:36,065 --> 00:01:39,047
We agreed...
no more garbage furniture!
28
00:01:39,049 --> 00:01:40,058
[ Whining ] But I want it.
29
00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:42,064
Oh, we got that savings account
you wanted...
30
00:01:42,066 --> 00:01:44,065
But we needed that!
31
00:01:45,043 --> 00:01:46,052
[ Exhales sharply ]
Fine.
32
00:01:46,054 --> 00:01:50,052
Yes!
Excuse us, ladies.
33
00:01:50,054 --> 00:01:53,058
[ Josh and Alex laugh ]
34
00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:55,059
I can't believe we carried it
15 blocks!
35
00:01:55,061 --> 00:01:57,048
It's gonna feel so good
to sit on it.
36
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,059
Ho-ho, man.
Okay, here we go.
37
00:01:59,061 --> 00:02:02,054
Gotta get this right.
Gotta warm up my cheeks.
38
00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:04,060
Just like puttin' a
fish in a fishbowl, you
know what I'm saying.
39
00:02:04,062 --> 00:02:07,044
Guys, can you please tone
it down a little.
40
00:02:07,046 --> 00:02:08,051
Bridgette just got ghosted.
41
00:02:08,053 --> 00:02:11,059
[ Wailing loudly ]
42
00:02:11,061 --> 00:02:13,047
Ooooh, sorry.
43
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,061
You know what might help?
[ Laughs nervously ]
44
00:02:14,063 --> 00:02:17,043
The healing properties
of a comfy street couch.
45
00:02:17,045 --> 00:02:19,044
Whoa!
-[ Sobbing ]
[ Springs slam ]
46
00:02:19,046 --> 00:02:21,053
Oh, actually, I was
thinking we could all
sit on it right now.
47
00:02:21,055 --> 00:02:24,046
[ Bridgette wailing loudly ]
Ohhh, noooo!
48
00:02:24,048 --> 00:02:26,047
I-I-I-It's cool.
I can wait.
49
00:02:26,049 --> 00:02:30,048
[ Crickets chirping ]
50
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,057
[ Exhales heavily ]
51
00:02:31,059 --> 00:02:34,059
You all look like
you're going to ghost me, too.
52
00:02:34,061 --> 00:02:37,048
[ Sighs heavily ]
53
00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:40,061
Beautiful mademoiselle,
why so sad?
54
00:02:40,063 --> 00:02:41,065
[ Screams ]
55
00:02:42,043 --> 00:02:43,052
Forgive me, mon chérie.
56
00:02:43,054 --> 00:02:46,044
I've not properly
introduced myself.
57
00:02:46,046 --> 00:02:49,043
My name is
Henri Dubois Moureau V.
58
00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:51,046
My father was the Duc D'Orléans.
59
00:02:51,048 --> 00:02:53,063
Um, I'm... I'm Bridgette.
Uh...
60
00:02:53,065 --> 00:02:55,060
My father is a pharmacist.
61
00:02:55,062 --> 00:02:57,065
Well, he must be the king
of the pharmacists
62
00:02:58,043 --> 00:03:00,051
because he raised
a princess, hmm?
63
00:03:00,053 --> 00:03:03,051
[ Moaning chuckle ]
Oh! [ Giggles ]
64
00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:05,043
Okay, everything about this
is working for me.
65
00:03:05,045 --> 00:03:07,061
But, you're, like, dead, right?
What's that all about?
66
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:12,048
Henri: I was once France's
premier furniture designer...
[ Harpsichord playing ]
67
00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,054
[ Crowd gasps ]
68
00:03:13,056 --> 00:03:15,058
...and it's greatest bachelor.
69
00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:20,046
♪
70
00:03:20,048 --> 00:03:21,288
I made love to beautiful women,
71
00:03:22,043 --> 00:03:24,048
and in return,
they made love back to me.
72
00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:25,053
[ Woman ohh's ]
73
00:03:25,055 --> 00:03:26,059
But I was unfaithful.
74
00:03:26,061 --> 00:03:28,065
[ Moaning ] Ohh. Oh! Oh!
75
00:03:29,044 --> 00:03:32,052
And some became jealous.
[ Screams ]
76
00:03:32,054 --> 00:03:34,056
[ Scythe shinks ]
77
00:03:34,058 --> 00:03:36,062
I died on this very couch.
78
00:03:36,064 --> 00:03:38,066
So you're tied to this couch
forever?
79
00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:41,049
Until I complete
my unfinished business,
80
00:03:41,051 --> 00:03:42,059
whatever that may be.
81
00:03:42,061 --> 00:03:44,066
And you, why is it that my couch
82
00:03:45,044 --> 00:03:46,063
is stained with your tears?
83
00:03:46,065 --> 00:03:49,064
Oh, I was sad because guys
keep ghosting me.
84
00:03:49,066 --> 00:03:51,066
No offense.
Ghosting?
85
00:03:52,044 --> 00:03:53,059
What is this "ghosting?"
86
00:03:53,061 --> 00:03:56,058
It's when a guy dumps
you without telling
you and vanishes.
87
00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:59,043
This is, how you say, outrage!
88
00:03:59,045 --> 00:04:01,055
I would never ghost you,
sweet Bridgette.
89
00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:02,063
Oh, really?
90
00:04:02,065 --> 00:04:05,060
So, um...[chuckles]
what are you doing later?
91
00:04:07,053 --> 00:04:10,046
[ Crowd cheers ]
92
00:04:10,048 --> 00:04:11,059
[ Crowd gasps ]
93
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:14,058
[ Smooches ]
94
00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:26,051
♪
95
00:04:26,053 --> 00:04:28,063
[ Riders screaming ]
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
96
00:04:28,065 --> 00:04:45,060
♪
97
00:04:45,062 --> 00:04:48,046
Your new boyfriend
seems awesome.
98
00:04:48,048 --> 00:04:50,053
Henri and I have so much
in common.
99
00:04:50,055 --> 00:04:52,048
He also hates fake bitches.
100
00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,056
- Excuse me, Candice.
- I've heard worse.
101
00:04:54,058 --> 00:04:56,048
Well, I'm glad
you found someone.
102
00:04:56,050 --> 00:04:59,044
Ok, just to be clear,
this is not a relationship.
103
00:04:59,046 --> 00:05:00,048
This is a haunting.
104
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,043
I knew you were gonna be
like this.
105
00:05:02,045 --> 00:05:03,054
You don't like him
because he's French.
106
00:05:03,056 --> 00:05:06,058
It ain't helping, but it's
mostly because he's dead.
107
00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:08,062
I mean how are you even
gonna have sex?
108
00:05:08,064 --> 00:05:10,048
Wouldn't you like to know?
109
00:05:10,050 --> 00:05:12,044
♪ Whoa... ♪
110
00:05:12,046 --> 00:05:13,048
[ Knock on door ]
Come in.
111
00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:16,050
[ Door opens ]
♪ My love ♪
112
00:05:16,052 --> 00:05:18,057
Thank you for agreeing
to be our vessel, Randy.
113
00:05:18,059 --> 00:05:21,048
Anything for
a friend-slash-tenant.
114
00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:24,048
Let's do this.
♪ I've hungered for ♪
115
00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:28,043
♪ Your touch ♪
116
00:05:28,045 --> 00:05:30,065
♪ A long ♪
117
00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:34,050
♪ Lonely time ♪
118
00:05:34,052 --> 00:05:35,054
Mmm.
119
00:05:35,056 --> 00:05:38,060
[ Both moaning ]
Ooh.
120
00:05:38,062 --> 00:05:42,044
[ Randy shouting rhythmically ]
♪ And time ♪
121
00:05:42,046 --> 00:05:44,062
♪ Goes by ♪
[ Shouting continues ]
122
00:05:44,064 --> 00:05:46,051
[ Screaming ]
123
00:05:46,053 --> 00:05:48,048
[ ♪ So slowly ]
Did she move
the couch in there?
124
00:05:48,050 --> 00:05:49,610
I haven't had a chance
to sit on it yet.
125
00:05:50,044 --> 00:05:52,056
♪ And time ♪
Do... not... go in there!
126
00:05:52,058 --> 00:05:56,053
[ Sobbing ]
♪ Can do so much ♪
127
00:05:56,055 --> 00:06:00,055
♪ Are you ♪
128
00:06:00,057 --> 00:06:03,053
[ Snoring ]
129
00:06:03,055 --> 00:06:06,056
[ Grunting ]
[ Humming sleepily ]
130
00:06:06,058 --> 00:06:10,055
[ Coughs ] Ew, gross.
[ Murmuring in sleep ]
131
00:06:10,057 --> 00:06:12,066
Gross. [ Grunts ]
132
00:06:13,044 --> 00:06:14,053
Ew.
133
00:06:17,058 --> 00:06:20,054
Bonjour, mon chéri.
[ Chuckles ]
134
00:06:20,056 --> 00:06:21,065
What a beautiful morning
135
00:06:22,043 --> 00:06:25,059
after such a beautiful
evening of love-make.
136
00:06:25,061 --> 00:06:28,062
Yeaaah, it was... great.
[ Chuckles ]
137
00:06:28,064 --> 00:06:30,054
I'm just used to sleeping alone.
138
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,057
Well, you will never
have to again.
139
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,043
Uh, I need to go in here.
140
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,051
Pardon, is everything alright?
141
00:06:43,053 --> 00:06:45,046
Yeah, it's fine.
Great.
142
00:06:47,053 --> 00:06:51,064
♪
143
00:06:51,066 --> 00:06:54,044
Did I say you could leave
a toothbrush in here?
144
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:55,286
[ Chuckles ]
No, but, uh, I, um,
145
00:06:56,044 --> 00:06:57,057
how you say, assumed,
146
00:06:57,059 --> 00:06:59,057
uh, since we live together.
147
00:06:59,059 --> 00:07:03,059
[ Humming ]
148
00:07:03,061 --> 00:07:06,046
You knew the word
was "assumed."
149
00:07:06,048 --> 00:07:08,045
[ Door slams ]
150
00:07:08,047 --> 00:07:12,045
Bridgette, I apologize
if I've done anything to offend.
[ Harpsichord playing ]
151
00:07:12,047 --> 00:07:14,065
I... I hope you can forgive me.
152
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:18,054
Yeah, gross.
I'm not really into chocolate.
153
00:07:18,056 --> 00:07:19,064
[ Door closes ]
154
00:07:19,066 --> 00:07:21,057
[ Cellphone clicking ]
Bridgette...
155
00:07:21,059 --> 00:07:23,054
[ Couch scraping ]
...I have
a beautiful surprise
156
00:07:23,056 --> 00:07:25,065
for a beautiful lady.
157
00:07:26,043 --> 00:07:28,061
Greeeaaat.
More dead things.
158
00:07:28,063 --> 00:07:31,056
[ Harpsichord continues ]
159
00:07:31,058 --> 00:07:34,061
Bridgette, I have expressed
my passion for you
160
00:07:34,063 --> 00:07:37,047
through the medium of painting.
161
00:07:37,049 --> 00:07:39,051
I've also written an opera
about your face.
162
00:07:39,053 --> 00:07:41,052
Uh-huh.
[ Sighs deeply ]
163
00:07:41,054 --> 00:07:43,060
I guess it does not matter.
[ Chuckles ]
164
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:46,049
Nothing I do
seems to matter.
[ Monotone ]
What do you mean?
165
00:07:46,051 --> 00:07:47,066
You're the best...
Yay...
166
00:07:48,044 --> 00:07:50,063
Is that why you put up zis?!
167
00:07:50,065 --> 00:07:52,054
What?
It's my favorite movie.
168
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:54,064
[ Cries ]
Why have you grown so cold?
169
00:07:54,066 --> 00:07:56,060
[ Cellphone ringing ]
Ooh, sorry.
I'm getting a call.
170
00:07:56,062 --> 00:07:59,056
Ah, zere it is!
Classic Bridgette.
171
00:07:59,058 --> 00:08:02,050
Zings get le tough
and you le run away
172
00:08:02,052 --> 00:08:04,044
to ze fake phone call!
173
00:08:04,046 --> 00:08:05,064
[ Whispering ] Shh!
You're being a dick!
174
00:08:05,066 --> 00:08:07,066
Yes, I do have time
for a survey.
175
00:08:08,044 --> 00:08:09,052
Ah! Bridgette!
176
00:08:09,054 --> 00:08:12,045
You are tearing me apart!
177
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:16,044
[ Ughs ] Whatever.
Like I don't have three more.
178
00:08:16,046 --> 00:08:17,062
No, no, no.
You're not going anywhere
179
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:22,053
until you tell me
why you are so upset with me.
180
00:08:22,055 --> 00:08:24,058
Hey guys, is it cool
if I sit on the...
181
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:26,063
[ Indistinct arguing ]
182
00:08:26,065 --> 00:08:29,046
Aw, man...
Upset?
183
00:08:29,048 --> 00:08:33,045
How could I be upset about a
dead guy who's chained to a
couch and can never leave?!
184
00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:34,049
Is zat what you wish?
185
00:08:34,051 --> 00:08:36,049
You wish I could, uh, ghost you?
186
00:08:36,051 --> 00:08:38,057
Please!
You're being ridiculous!
187
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,055
Why would I want a guy...
188
00:08:40,057 --> 00:08:42,058
to ghost... me?
189
00:08:44,061 --> 00:08:46,054
Hey, I was thinking,
maybe I could leave
190
00:08:46,056 --> 00:08:49,065
a toothbrush at your place?
191
00:08:50,043 --> 00:08:51,057
Yuck.
Take me to Wetzel's
192
00:08:51,059 --> 00:08:54,049
and don't embarrass me.
193
00:08:54,051 --> 00:08:57,049
[ Whispering ] Psst,
I bought a toothbrush
to leave at your place.
194
00:08:57,051 --> 00:08:59,050
[ Gasps ]
195
00:08:59,052 --> 00:09:02,053
[ Straining ]
196
00:09:03,061 --> 00:09:07,058
Bridgette, I have something
I want to keep at your place.
197
00:09:11,054 --> 00:09:13,043
What... What are y...
198
00:09:13,045 --> 00:09:16,048
Bridgette, I love you!
199
00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:19,044
Oh, shit. I'm the dick.
200
00:09:23,044 --> 00:09:25,062
So, I'm sorry for how I behaved.
201
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,046
You know how women
are conditioned to be
202
00:09:27,048 --> 00:09:28,056
non-confrontational with guys
203
00:09:28,058 --> 00:09:31,044
so they don't get murdered
or locked in a basement?
204
00:09:31,046 --> 00:09:32,053
Oui, of course.
205
00:09:32,055 --> 00:09:35,046
I've realized that's why
I sabotage relationships
206
00:09:35,048 --> 00:09:37,044
when I just want them
to be over.
207
00:09:37,046 --> 00:09:39,048
Instead of just
breaking things off,
208
00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:40,066
I force guys to ghost me.
209
00:09:41,044 --> 00:09:45,059
So, you want to break things
off avec moi?
210
00:09:45,061 --> 00:09:49,045
You are a really,
really great ghost.
211
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,056
And if I was ready,
or if you were alive,
212
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,047
maybe this would be different.
213
00:09:53,049 --> 00:09:56,051
[ Sighs ] I understand.
You do?
214
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,058
Are you sure you don't want
to yell at me
215
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:59,047
in the back of an Uber
or something?
216
00:09:59,049 --> 00:10:02,054
No, no, no.
I am done disrespecting women.
217
00:10:02,056 --> 00:10:05,055
When I was among ze living,
I was a cad, a cheat.
218
00:10:05,057 --> 00:10:09,047
I hurt every woman I ever loved,
and it killed me.
219
00:10:09,049 --> 00:10:12,056
Hurt people... hurt people.
Ohh...
220
00:10:12,058 --> 00:10:14,051
I don't want to hurt you.
221
00:10:14,053 --> 00:10:15,060
Nor I you.
222
00:10:15,062 --> 00:10:19,048
I want you to be happy.
[ Crying chuckles ]
223
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:23,051
I can't believe
how mature this breakup is.
224
00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:25,061
[ Whooshing ]
225
00:10:25,063 --> 00:10:28,052
Mon dieu!
226
00:10:28,054 --> 00:10:29,061
What's happening?
227
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:31,062
My unfinished business!
228
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:34,054
I must have needed to have
a healthy breakup!
229
00:10:34,056 --> 00:10:36,044
Or to make love to a woman
230
00:10:36,046 --> 00:10:38,048
by possessing
a shirtless man's body.
231
00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:42,051
Either way, farewell, sweet
Bridgette of House Pharmacist!
232
00:10:42,053 --> 00:10:44,055
Goodbye, Henri!
233
00:10:44,057 --> 00:10:47,049
Thanks for not freaking out
when I broke up with you!
234
00:10:47,051 --> 00:10:51,044
No, I broke up with you!
235
00:10:51,046 --> 00:10:53,061
I broke up with him.
236
00:10:53,063 --> 00:10:56,046
Couch? No! No!
237
00:10:56,048 --> 00:10:59,053
[ Sobbing ] No!
Oh, God...
238
00:11:01,048 --> 00:11:03,055
I never got to sit on you...