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♪
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[ Yelling in slow-motion ]
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Candice: This wasn't how it was
supposed to go.
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I just wanted to
make a little cash,
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have a little fun.
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But sometimes,
even the best plans...
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can leave a skid-mark
in your shorts.
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To understand how we got here,
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you've gotta know the legend.
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The legend...
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of Sauceface.
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♪
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♪
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[ School bell rings ]
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[ Both laughing ]
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Whoa!
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Imagine all the fun
we could have with one of those.
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Those drones make hopscotch
look like foursquare.
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Mom!
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Can I get a drone?
Please, please!
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I'd fly it every day
and I'd wash it and I'd feed it!
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And it would get us involved
in stem fields
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where girls are traditionally
underrepresented.
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[ Sighs ]
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I wish we could, sweetie,
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but we don't have the money
for stuff like that.
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Yeah, right, Mom.
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Then why do we live in a mansion
with Alex and Bridgette?
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Oh, jeez.
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Candice, the "house" we live in
is an apartment building.
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And Alex and Bridgette only live
with us to help us pay for it.
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But you have a job,
and Dad has a job.
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Doesn't that make us rich?
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No.
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Wait, so we're...
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poor?
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Man, I had no idea we were poor.
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Do your mom and dad have money?
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No, my dad does improv.
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[ Inhales sharply ]
Ooh, I'm so sorry.
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Let's face it,
drones are for rich kids.
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Attencion, everyone.
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It's your friendly cafeteria
conduct liaison.
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Effective immediately
our school's banned food list
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will now include
General Tso's chicken,
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because it promotes militarism.
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♪
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And please, don't push me
on this.
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Stellan and I just broke up
and he took the Peloton
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because he technically
paid for it,
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even though I use it way
more than he does.
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So, it's a whole thing.
Okay, buon appetito!
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Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop!
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Don't let Campbell see that.
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All the food at this school
is so bland.
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I'll give you a quarter
for your hot sauce.
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Hmm, one quarter?
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I'll give you two dimes.
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Whoa!
Now we're talking!
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Maddie, I think I know
how we can buy a drone.
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[ The Rolling Stones' "Can't You
Hear Me Knocking" plays ]
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Candice: And that's how we got
into the hot sauce game.
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I'd harvest the product
at home...
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and we'd move it at school.
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♪
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♪ Yeah, you got
satin shoes ♪
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Candice:
It was red gold, baby.
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Red gold.
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Maddie had a head for numbers,
so she ran the books.
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♪ ...plastic boots ♪
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♪ Y'all got cocaine eyes ♪
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Whoo!
I got lightning in my brain!
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Candice: Pretty soon, we had
other kids dealing for us.
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First graders, second graders,
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a fourth grader we called
Jimmy Two-Times
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'cause once he peed himself
two times in the same day.
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The way we were going, we had
enough for a fleet of drones.
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Business was so good,
it was only a matter of time
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'til the cafeteria
conduct liaison got wise.
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♪ Help me, baby ♪
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Picante!
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Candice: We needed to throw
Campbell off our trail.
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Who do you work for?
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[ Packets splat ]
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♪ Ain't no stranger ♪
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So, I came up with an alter ego
to take the heat.
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A big boss named Sauceface.
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[ Whistles ]
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♪ Can't you hear my knockin'? ♪
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Candice:
Tomorrow is the big sit-down
with our sister schools.
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If all goes well, we expand our
operations all over the city.
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I don't like it.
Campbell is closing in.
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We need to lie low.
Please.
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Mr. Campbell
couldn't find a butt
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on his own butt.
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Candice, we have plenty of money
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and we haven't even
bought our drone yet.
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Isn't that why we started
this in the first place?
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We move forward
with the sit-down.
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There are more dimes to be made.
101
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Speaking of, this last payment
was supposed to have 873 dimes,
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which is exactly $5,000.
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But we're four dimes short.
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Which one of you
is skimming off the top?
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You don't want to confess to me?
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Okay. Perhaps
you'd rather tell...
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Wet Willy?
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♪
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Why, Jade,
110
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that's a very nice
Ring Pop you're wearing.
111
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It... It was a gift
from my Nan-Nan.
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Right.
Nan-Nans are the best.
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Yeah.
Yeah, my Nan-Nan's...
Gotcha.
My Nan-Nan loves me so much.
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[ Screams ]
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Hey, cut it out!
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Never cross me again, Jade.
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Aah!
[ Sobbing ]
118
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Jeez, Candice.
119
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I'm not Candice anymore.
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I'm...
Sauceface.
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Ah, that's our time.
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Remember, tomorrow is Cher Day,
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so bring in a small item
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that makes you believe
in life after love.
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Ethan, please stay behind
for uno minuto.
126
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Ooh!
127
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Relax, Ethan,
you're not in trouble.
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I just wanted to offer you
a little after-school snack.
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Oh...
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Mmm...
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Red pepper, salt, garlic,
Xanthan gum.
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You want it, don't you, Ethan?
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[ Breathing heavily ]
134
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First, tell me
everything you know.
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Okay.
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When mommies and daddies
love each other,
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they touch their butts together
and a baby...
138
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No, Ethan.
Everything about Sauceface.
139
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Like where I can find him
or her or them.
140
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I guess I did hear somebody say
a thingy was gonna go down
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tomorrow in that room
where I eat all the paint.
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[ Gasps ]
The art room!
143
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Gracias, Ethan.
144
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You all know me, what I do.
145
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And you know what I can
do for you.
146
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[ Snaps fingers ]
147
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I think we could be very
motivated to move this product
148
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at Temple Beth Emet Day School.
149
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Yeah, samesies
for Mayflower Charter.
150
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Excellent.
Then let's shake on it.
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Mr. Campbell:
Sauceface!
152
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I know you're in there!
153
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And as soon as I figure out
which key opens this door,
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I'm coming in!
155
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You set us up!
No!
156
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Someone ratted us out!
157
00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:04,055
Why did I announce I was here
before I found the key?
158
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So stupid!
159
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♪
160
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Candice!
[ Grunts ]
161
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Ah!
162
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Candice, you need to run!
163
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But... Now!
164
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♪
165
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Well, well, well...
166
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If it isn't Sauceface.
167
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[ Gasps ]
No!
168
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This is it for me.
169
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Campbell called in my parents.
170
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I'm gonna be expelled.
171
00:07:58,059 --> 00:08:01,056
But why didn't you tell him
you're not Sauceface?
172
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And be a rat?
173
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Maddie, I'm so sorry!
174
00:08:04,046 --> 00:08:07,052
I want to fix this, to go back
to how things were before.
175
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We knew the risks of this life.
176
00:08:09,044 --> 00:08:10,056
Forget about me, Candice.
177
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Take the money, buy the drone,
make a new best friend.
178
00:08:14,066 --> 00:08:16,050
Mr. Campbell:
Stellan, you agreed
179
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I could visit the Peloton
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
180
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My calves are withering away!
181
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♪
182
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Thus proving she's guilty
of possession
183
00:08:36,043 --> 00:08:37,283
of banned goods, illegal sales,
184
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and naming herself
after an R-rated movie.
185
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These are mostly
serious charges.
186
00:08:43,047 --> 00:08:45,057
Maddie, I'm stunned.
187
00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:48,049
I don't want to recommend
expulsion.
188
00:08:48,051 --> 00:08:50,058
But I'm afraid it's the only way
to close the book
189
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on this dark chapter of...
what the butt?
190
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No!
191
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:57,045
If you're... then who is...
192
00:08:57,047 --> 00:08:58,087
Mr. Campbell,
it would seem
193
00:08:59,044 --> 00:09:01,065
that you busted
the wrong Sauceface.
194
00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:04,283
Ah! I can't believe I missed
my Harold audition for this!
195
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,047
Ted, it's been three years.
196
00:09:06,049 --> 00:09:08,047
You're not getting
on a house team.
197
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:10,049
Sauceface!
198
00:09:12,058 --> 00:09:16,065
[ Children laughing ]
199
00:09:17,043 --> 00:09:18,046
Hey!
200
00:09:18,048 --> 00:09:34,049
♪
201
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,064
Ha!
You're cornered, Sauceface!
202
00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:42,064
Surprise!
203
00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:45,058
What?
I don't understand.
204
00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:47,044
You're Sauceface?
205
00:09:47,046 --> 00:09:49,059
You mean "Project Sauceface"?
206
00:09:49,061 --> 00:09:51,050
That was our code name.
207
00:09:51,052 --> 00:09:54,053
Maddie and I sold sauce so
we could buy you a new Peloton.
208
00:09:54,055 --> 00:09:56,059
We know how hard it's been
with Stellan gone.
209
00:09:56,061 --> 00:10:00,046
And, well, you're
our favorite teacher.
210
00:10:00,048 --> 00:10:01,051
That's right.
211
00:10:01,053 --> 00:10:02,213
We had to keep it a surprise.
212
00:10:03,044 --> 00:10:04,063
It was our plan all along.
213
00:10:04,065 --> 00:10:08,046
[ Voice breaking ]
This is the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.
214
00:10:08,048 --> 00:10:10,054
Did we break the rules?
Yes.
215
00:10:10,056 --> 00:10:12,061
But it was the only way
we could earn money,
216
00:10:12,063 --> 00:10:15,052
and sometimes
you have to break some rules
217
00:10:15,054 --> 00:10:17,051
to mend a broken heart.
218
00:10:17,053 --> 00:10:19,043
Mm...
219
00:10:19,045 --> 00:10:21,055
Wait a second! Five
minutes ago, you were
gonna expel my daughter!
220
00:10:21,057 --> 00:10:23,047
That was before
the children gave me,
221
00:10:23,049 --> 00:10:25,048
like, a $2,000 exercise bike.
222
00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:27,051
So, you were able to
buy this thing
223
00:10:27,053 --> 00:10:29,052
just from selling
hot sauce packets?
224
00:10:29,054 --> 00:10:31,056
Yeah, kids really
love hot sauce.
225
00:10:31,058 --> 00:10:34,054
In that case, the ban is lifted.
226
00:10:34,056 --> 00:10:36,058
The school is selling
those packets now.
227
00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:39,048
We need that money for
Coach Gary's settlement.
228
00:10:39,050 --> 00:10:43,043
Candice: And just like that,
Sauceface was no more.
229
00:10:43,045 --> 00:10:48,049
In the end I gave up my wealth,
my business, my spicy empire...
230
00:10:48,051 --> 00:10:49,056
for friendship.
231
00:10:49,058 --> 00:10:51,062
The richest score of them all.
232
00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:52,063
[ Barking ]
233
00:10:52,065 --> 00:10:56,047
[ Both laugh ]
234
00:10:56,049 --> 00:10:59,044
Oh, we gots to get one of those.
235
00:10:59,046 --> 00:11:03,058
Have you ever heard of...
shoplifting?