1
00:00:01,391 --> 00:00:04,399
All:
DNA! DNA! DNA! DNA! DNA!
2
00:00:05,377 --> 00:00:06,379
DNA! DNA!
3
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:07,388
What's up?
What are we doing?
4
00:00:07,390 --> 00:00:08,396
We got our results back
5
00:00:08,398 --> 00:00:10,398
from that bulk genetic test
we bought from Costco!
6
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,378
Nice.
So, whose ancestors killed who?
7
00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:17,387
Well, my people came
from Guadalajara...
8
00:00:17,389 --> 00:00:19,386
Bridgette's came from Kyoto...
9
00:00:19,388 --> 00:00:21,396
and Josh is white.
10
00:00:21,398 --> 00:00:23,380
Can you believe it?
11
00:00:23,382 --> 00:00:25,380
Mine says there's a 92% chance
12
00:00:25,382 --> 00:00:29,380
I'm descended
from a long line of... creeps?
13
00:00:29,382 --> 00:00:31,379
[ Chuckles ]
14
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Ooh, aha.
15
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[ Chuckling ]
16
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,390
You're out of here!
17
00:00:36,392 --> 00:00:38,384
Well, that doesn't
seem scientific!
18
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:41,386
Please let me be related
to Bruce Willis.
19
00:00:41,388 --> 00:00:42,395
Well, this can't be right.
20
00:00:42,397 --> 00:00:44,388
Ma told me
my birth parents died.
21
00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:48,395
But Costco says
they're living in Malibu?!
22
00:00:48,397 --> 00:00:50,381
[ All gasp ]
23
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:55,392
[ Chuckles ]
Ooh, ahh, ooh!
24
00:00:55,394 --> 00:01:09,384
♪
25
00:01:09,386 --> 00:01:11,399
You told me they were dead!
26
00:01:12,377 --> 00:01:14,386
Randy...
And not just
that they were dead...
27
00:01:14,388 --> 00:01:15,394
that they were astronauts
28
00:01:15,396 --> 00:01:18,378
who went on
a top-secret mission to Mars!
29
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:21,382
Where they and their
trusty chimpanzee, Derek,
30
00:01:21,384 --> 00:01:23,377
were attacked by Martians
31
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and they heroically died
protecting the spaceship.
32
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Is none of that true?!
33
00:01:28,383 --> 00:01:29,390
I'm so sorry.
34
00:01:29,392 --> 00:01:32,381
It's just...
I could never bring myself
35
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,398
to tell you the truth
about your parents.
36
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,382
Which is?
37
00:01:36,384 --> 00:01:38,382
[ Sighs ]
38
00:01:38,384 --> 00:01:41,379
Your parents,
Wyatt and Deborah Trickle,
39
00:01:41,381 --> 00:01:42,393
were thieves.
40
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And not just any thieves.
41
00:01:44,391 --> 00:01:46,391
Gas thieves.
42
00:01:46,393 --> 00:01:48,396
Masters of
the "sip 'n slip."
43
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They slurped gas out of tanks
44
00:01:50,392 --> 00:01:53,385
from Santa Maria
to Santa Clarita.
45
00:01:53,387 --> 00:01:56,377
Deborah was "the nose..."
[ Sniffs ]
46
00:01:56,379 --> 00:02:00,389
...able to sniff out a full tank
from 30 yards away.
47
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Wyatt was "the cheeks,"
48
00:02:03,388 --> 00:02:07,381
able to suck gas out of a tank
faster than you can say
49
00:02:07,383 --> 00:02:11,391
"Hey, what you doing over there?
That's my car!"
50
00:02:11,393 --> 00:02:14,390
Then, one night, I came along.
51
00:02:14,392 --> 00:02:16,388
[ Gun cocks ]
Hands up!
52
00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:18,387
[ Gasps ]
53
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:19,391
Little did I know
54
00:02:19,393 --> 00:02:22,386
what they'd be willing to do
to get away.
55
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♪
56
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,396
They left you behind
so they could make off
57
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:31,392
with 15 gallons
of premium unleaded.
58
00:02:31,394 --> 00:02:33,377
Aww.
59
00:02:33,379 --> 00:02:35,390
Eventually,
the law caught up to them.
60
00:02:35,392 --> 00:02:37,378
I brought you to visit them
61
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:39,378
to try to keep them
in your life.
62
00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:42,388
Here!
But they weren't interested.
63
00:02:42,390 --> 00:02:44,391
[ Electricity crackles ]
64
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So, that's why I never told you.
65
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:49,388
I couldn't stand the idea
of you thinking
66
00:02:49,390 --> 00:02:51,378
someone wouldn't want you.
67
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,385
Well, despite what you think,
68
00:02:52,387 --> 00:02:54,391
I'm a big boy
that can handle the truth.
69
00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:57,385
In fact,
I already e-mailed my parents,
70
00:02:57,387 --> 00:02:58,395
and I'm meeting them today.
71
00:02:58,397 --> 00:03:00,395
Randy, you need to be careful.
72
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Ma!
I can take care of myself!
73
00:03:03,393 --> 00:03:04,399
Ow! No!
74
00:03:05,377 --> 00:03:06,386
Do not kiss it better!
75
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I'm a grown man!
76
00:03:08,377 --> 00:03:09,399
I'll kiss it better!
77
00:03:10,377 --> 00:03:11,390
[ Smooches ] Better.
78
00:03:13,381 --> 00:03:15,382
Hey!
How was the toy store?
79
00:03:15,384 --> 00:03:18,377
A bust. Candice thought
everything was for babies.
80
00:03:18,379 --> 00:03:20,398
Luckily, Home Depot
was having a sale next door.
81
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:24,394
[ Whirring, laughter ]
82
00:03:24,396 --> 00:03:26,391
You bought her a leaf blower?!
83
00:03:26,393 --> 00:03:28,385
You're the one who always says
she should be playing
84
00:03:28,387 --> 00:03:30,393
with non-gendered toys!
85
00:03:32,388 --> 00:03:36,393
Ohh.
86
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,388
Look at that red-ass Mullet.
87
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,400
You must be a Trickle.
88
00:03:44,378 --> 00:03:45,498
C'mon 'n give us some sugar!
89
00:03:46,377 --> 00:03:47,391
[ Laughs ]
A Trickle.
90
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,377
Aww.
91
00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:51,382
I don't know what to say.
92
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Hell, neither do we.
93
00:03:52,394 --> 00:03:55,400
But let's head inside
and talk over some fine dinin'.
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♪
95
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What?! McRibs?!
96
00:04:01,378 --> 00:04:03,390
That's G-God's
favorite sandwich!
97
00:04:03,392 --> 00:04:04,394
Hell, yes!
98
00:04:04,396 --> 00:04:05,596
When you're with the Trickles,
99
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McRibs are on the menu
year round!
100
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Take that, Ronald McDonald,
101
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,390
you withholdin' sack
of dog shit.
102
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[ Slurping, groaning ]
103
00:04:14,396 --> 00:04:17,385
I can't believe
how incredible this is.
104
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:21,392
My mo... um... Pearle told me
you were bad people.
105
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,391
You obviously can't be.
106
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,397
'Cause you guys are rich.
107
00:04:24,399 --> 00:04:26,390
Well, we were bad people.
108
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:28,397
Out of our minds on gas fumes.
109
00:04:28,399 --> 00:04:31,385
Always lookin' for
the next big slurp.
110
00:04:31,387 --> 00:04:33,391
When we got out of prison,
we straightened up.
111
00:04:33,393 --> 00:04:35,399
No more suckin' gas from cars.
112
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:37,383
What do you do now?
113
00:04:37,385 --> 00:04:40,385
We're frackers!
We suck gas from the land.
114
00:04:40,387 --> 00:04:44,377
I use "the nose"
to sniff out natural gas.
115
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[ Sniffs ]
116
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And I use "the cheeks"
[Slurping]
117
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to lay back
and sip hillbilly Mai Tais.
118
00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:53,399
Mountain Dew and rum.
119
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,398
This tastes like
I banged my head on a pole.
120
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I love it.
121
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[ Slurping ]
122
00:04:59,396 --> 00:05:01,387
Hot damn, look at that!
123
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You got the cheeks, too!
124
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I guess I do!
125
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:07,386
Randy, we are so sorry
for not reachin' out.
126
00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:10,385
We just... Ah, we thought
it was best you move on.
127
00:05:10,387 --> 00:05:13,378
We didn't deserve
to be your parents.
128
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,386
I don't care what you did
in the past.
129
00:05:15,388 --> 00:05:17,390
The important thing is
you're here now,
130
00:05:17,392 --> 00:05:20,383
and you aren't tossing me
at anyone as a means of escape.
131
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Hell, I'll drink to that!
132
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[ Tires screech ]
133
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[ Groans ]
134
00:05:27,398 --> 00:05:30,382
Thanks for the ride,
Mom and Dad.
135
00:05:30,384 --> 00:05:31,388
Today was perfect.
136
00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:33,379
It was our pleasure.
137
00:05:33,381 --> 00:05:35,392
[ Gasps, sniffs ]
138
00:05:35,394 --> 00:05:37,384
Do you smell gas?
139
00:05:37,386 --> 00:05:39,377
[ Laughing ]
140
00:05:39,379 --> 00:05:42,385
Candice!
Stop giving that kid sick air!
141
00:05:42,387 --> 00:05:43,396
Ah.
Never mind.
142
00:05:43,398 --> 00:05:46,384
Pearle!
Get on over here!
143
00:05:46,386 --> 00:05:47,399
[ Grunts ]
144
00:05:48,377 --> 00:05:51,385
We can't thank you enough
for doing such a terrific job
145
00:05:51,387 --> 00:05:52,392
raising our boy.
146
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,397
Looks like we threw our baby
at the right cop.
147
00:05:55,399 --> 00:05:58,379
Just stepping up
where others wouldn't.
148
00:05:58,381 --> 00:06:00,379
What're you two
up to these days?
149
00:06:00,381 --> 00:06:02,391
Still doing the ole sip 'n slip?
150
00:06:02,393 --> 00:06:03,398
Ma! Geeze!
151
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,381
They don't steal gas anymore!
152
00:06:06,383 --> 00:06:07,385
They frack it.
153
00:06:07,387 --> 00:06:09,379
It's more like
burping the Earth.
154
00:06:09,381 --> 00:06:11,385
What would you know
about burping anything?
155
00:06:11,387 --> 00:06:13,395
Ma!
Stop getting hung up on the fact
156
00:06:13,397 --> 00:06:16,396
that these guys abandoned me
multiple times as a child
157
00:06:16,398 --> 00:06:18,379
and be nice!
158
00:06:18,381 --> 00:06:19,389
No, we understand, son.
159
00:06:19,391 --> 00:06:21,384
We don't deserve her trust.
160
00:06:21,386 --> 00:06:23,383
But we'd sure like to earn it.
161
00:06:23,385 --> 00:06:24,665
We want to stay in Randy's life,
162
00:06:25,378 --> 00:06:26,396
meet all his friends.
163
00:06:26,398 --> 00:06:29,385
Why don't we throw a big party,
right here?
164
00:06:29,387 --> 00:06:30,399
A neighborhood carnival!
165
00:06:31,377 --> 00:06:32,382
We'd do it at our place,
166
00:06:32,384 --> 00:06:34,384
but we're re-glazing
our butthole washers.
167
00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:36,392
In Europe,
they're called "bidettes."
168
00:06:36,394 --> 00:06:39,396
That'd be amazing!
Alright then.
169
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:49,382
♪
170
00:06:49,384 --> 00:06:51,384
[ Whirring ]
171
00:06:51,386 --> 00:06:54,392
[ Laughing ]
172
00:06:54,394 --> 00:06:55,400
Oh, geeze!
173
00:06:56,378 --> 00:06:59,379
I have to say, Randy,
this is pretty fun.
174
00:06:59,381 --> 00:07:01,396
I'm sorry I misjudged
the Trickles.
175
00:07:01,398 --> 00:07:02,400
That's okay.
176
00:07:03,378 --> 00:07:05,381
I just wish I'd known
about them sooner.
177
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,399
Well, I hope you realize
178
00:07:07,377 --> 00:07:09,390
I did what I did out of love.
179
00:07:09,392 --> 00:07:12,378
Uh, yeah.
I guess so.
180
00:07:13,377 --> 00:07:15,381
[ Sniffs ] Huh?
181
00:07:15,383 --> 00:07:17,385
[ Sniffing ]
182
00:07:17,387 --> 00:07:24,399
♪
183
00:07:25,377 --> 00:07:27,393
Huh. [ Grunts ]
184
00:07:27,395 --> 00:07:28,397
Fracking?!
185
00:07:28,399 --> 00:07:30,382
No, son.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
186
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:31,984
We set this whole thing up
so we could do
187
00:07:32,377 --> 00:07:34,393
a little bit of secret frackin'.
188
00:07:34,395 --> 00:07:35,398
[ Chuckles ]
189
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,383
I knew I smelled gas!
190
00:07:38,385 --> 00:07:39,397
Well, Goddamn.
191
00:07:39,399 --> 00:07:42,387
You got the cheeks and the nose.
192
00:07:42,389 --> 00:07:44,386
You're fracking under my house?
193
00:07:44,388 --> 00:07:47,380
Soon as we pulled up
the other day, I smelled it.
194
00:07:47,382 --> 00:07:49,387
Ah, the motherlode, right here.
195
00:07:49,389 --> 00:07:50,398
We had to have it.
196
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:55,379
Them swings're suckin' out
natural gas as we speak.
197
00:07:55,381 --> 00:07:59,379
[ Children shouting ]
198
00:07:59,381 --> 00:08:00,394
I'm sorry
we didn't tell ya, bud.
199
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,379
It's just the city
can get real prickly
200
00:08:03,381 --> 00:08:05,386
about fracking
under people's houses.
201
00:08:05,388 --> 00:08:07,395
And we'll cut you in
on the proceeds.
202
00:08:07,397 --> 00:08:09,395
Ah, you're a Trickle now!
203
00:08:09,397 --> 00:08:12,398
Huh.
Are you sure this is safe?
204
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,381
Of course!
205
00:08:14,383 --> 00:08:16,383
Nothin' bad ever happened
from fracking.
206
00:08:16,385 --> 00:08:18,382
[ Screaming ]
207
00:08:18,384 --> 00:08:19,390
[ Rumbling ]
208
00:08:19,392 --> 00:08:21,399
[ Clattering ]
209
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:25,391
[ Screaming ]
210
00:08:25,393 --> 00:08:27,383
That's probably a coincidence.
211
00:08:28,398 --> 00:08:32,380
[ Screaming ]
212
00:08:32,382 --> 00:08:34,377
That sinkhole ain't playin'!
213
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:36,381
Let's bail!
C'mon, Randy!
214
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,380
It's time for the ole
sip 'n slip!
215
00:08:38,382 --> 00:08:40,383
No!
You're gonna destroy my home!
216
00:08:40,385 --> 00:08:41,395
What do you expect us to do,
217
00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:43,392
dump the gas
back into the ground,
218
00:08:43,394 --> 00:08:44,396
fill up the sinkhole,
219
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,380
and go back to bein'
all buddy buddy?
220
00:08:47,382 --> 00:08:48,387
Yeah, I guess!
221
00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:50,387
Sorry, Randy, but we ain't
exactly the type
222
00:08:50,389 --> 00:08:52,378
that puts gas into stuff.
223
00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:54,392
Now are you a Trickle or not?
224
00:08:54,394 --> 00:08:59,386
[ Groaning ]
225
00:08:59,388 --> 00:09:00,392
Adios, son!
226
00:09:00,394 --> 00:09:03,392
Until next time!
227
00:09:03,394 --> 00:09:06,383
♪
228
00:09:06,385 --> 00:09:07,399
[ Panting ]
229
00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:11,384
[ Grunts ]
230
00:09:11,386 --> 00:09:14,396
♪
231
00:09:14,398 --> 00:09:16,384
[ Grunts ]
232
00:09:16,386 --> 00:09:19,396
♪
233
00:09:19,398 --> 00:09:21,379
[ All gasp ]
234
00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:26,378
Aaaah!
235
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:29,390
[ Whirring ]
236
00:09:29,392 --> 00:09:30,398
[ All gasp ]
237
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,382
[ Grunts ]
238
00:09:32,384 --> 00:09:34,384
[ Grunting ]
239
00:09:34,386 --> 00:09:36,379
[ Gasps ]
240
00:09:36,381 --> 00:09:37,400
Dad!
Don't do this!
241
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,381
Sorry, son.
242
00:09:39,383 --> 00:09:41,385
I love ya...
but I love gas more.
243
00:09:41,387 --> 00:09:42,393
[ Grunts ]
244
00:09:42,395 --> 00:09:44,392
[ Screams ]
245
00:09:44,394 --> 00:09:47,380
Ma?!
246
00:09:47,382 --> 00:09:49,397
I'll always be there
to catch you, baby.
247
00:09:49,399 --> 00:09:51,381
What are we gonna do?
248
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,385
Uh-huh.
249
00:09:53,387 --> 00:09:55,397
[ Tires screech ]
[ Sniffs ]
250
00:09:55,399 --> 00:09:59,381
♪
251
00:09:59,383 --> 00:10:00,399
My God.
252
00:10:01,377 --> 00:10:02,394
[ Slurping ]
253
00:10:02,396 --> 00:10:05,380
He's the greatest Trickle
that ever lived.
254
00:10:05,382 --> 00:10:12,392
♪
255
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,381
[ Tires screech ]
256
00:10:14,383 --> 00:10:15,391
[ Sirens wail ]
257
00:10:15,393 --> 00:10:16,397
[ Guns cock ]
258
00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:19,393
That boy sucks
just like his daddy.
259
00:10:19,395 --> 00:10:21,381
[ Whirring ]
260
00:10:21,383 --> 00:10:24,384
I can't hold it much longer!
261
00:10:24,386 --> 00:10:33,400
♪
262
00:10:34,378 --> 00:10:38,391
♪
263
00:10:38,393 --> 00:10:41,388
[ All cheering ]
264
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:42,396
Yay!
265
00:10:42,398 --> 00:10:45,383
Ma, you've given me the best
life I could've asked for.
266
00:10:45,385 --> 00:10:48,378
I may've inherited
the Trickle nose and cheeks,
267
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:49,391
but I got your heart.
268
00:10:49,393 --> 00:10:51,386
Oh, baby.
269
00:10:51,388 --> 00:10:53,386
[ Chuckles ]
270
00:10:53,388 --> 00:10:55,398
Get rid of it!
[ Grunts ]
271
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:59,390
Candice: Has anyone seen
my leaf blower?
272
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:48,394
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