1
00:00:01,625 --> 00:00:08,250
♪♪
2
00:00:08,333 --> 00:00:11,125
A serving wrench,
just like in "Cable Guy".
3
00:00:11,208 --> 00:00:14,000
[ Laughs ] Okay, okay.
I'm going to say it.
4
00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:15,708
Can I help you, my lords?
5
00:00:15,791 --> 00:00:19,375
Does thou have a mug of ale
for me and me mate?
6
00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:20,958
[ Snorts ]
Yeah, we like it.
7
00:00:21,041 --> 00:00:22,375
We like it a lot.
We like it a lot.
8
00:00:22,458 --> 00:00:24,291
[ Laughing ]
9
00:00:24,375 --> 00:00:27,500
Oh. More Jim Carrey fans.
Delightful.
10
00:00:27,583 --> 00:00:28,708
We're going
to do this every year
11
00:00:28,791 --> 00:00:30,333
for the rest
of our lives, dude!
12
00:00:30,416 --> 00:00:31,375
[ Laughing ]
13
00:00:31,458 --> 00:00:33,083
♪♪
14
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,291
[ Laughing ]
15
00:00:34,375 --> 00:00:35,916
My lords, welcome back.
16
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,208
Happy
"Medieval Times-aversary".
17
00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:41,708
Hey, real quick.
Can I "ass" you a few questions?
18
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:42,833
[ Groans ]
19
00:00:42,916 --> 00:00:45,000
[ Chuckles ]
Did you read my short story?
20
00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:46,750
Yeah,
loved how short it was.
21
00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:50,416
Oh, do you want to hear the most
annoying sound in the world?
22
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,083
Eeeeeeeeh!
23
00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:54,041
Eeeeeeeeh!
24
00:00:55,416 --> 00:00:58,333
Down, down, down,
the red knight is going down!
25
00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:00,416
Come on, dude,
Medieval-Times-aversary.
26
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,958
Uh, oh, uh, yeah, uh,
down, down, down,
27
00:01:03,041 --> 00:01:04,583
the red knight is going down,
yep, cool.
28
00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:08,416
Yeah! 15 years later,
and we're still equally psyched.
29
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:11,125
Eeeeeeh!
30
00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:17,583
♪♪
31
00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:23,916
♪♪
32
00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:25,958
Emily: Josh, Candice is dabbing!
Remember that?
33
00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:28,291
Josh!
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
34
00:01:28,375 --> 00:01:30,375
Ugh,
Can't get a moment's peace.
35
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,625
Good morrow, kind sir!
36
00:01:32,708 --> 00:01:34,291
W-where's thine armor?
37
00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:35,875
My armor? What?
Why would I need that?
38
00:01:35,958 --> 00:01:38,125
Dude, it's our
Medieval-Times-aversary.
39
00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:39,666
Uh, listen,
I can't go today.
40
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:42,291
A literary agent said that
he'd read "Future Viking 3030,"
41
00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:44,625
and I want to send it to him
by the end of the day.
42
00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:46,125
Come on, man!
43
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:47,666
We've gone every year
on this day since high school.
44
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:49,291
I know, but I need
to hand this in.
45
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:50,625
Besides, I was hoping
you'd read it.
46
00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:52,958
You always give me
really good feedback like,
47
00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:54,500
"I love it.
It's awesome,"
48
00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:58,041
and, "Is there a king of books?
It should be you, my liege!"
49
00:01:58,125 --> 00:01:59,791
I'm not going to read
that giant thing
50
00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:02,541
on our Medieval-Times-aversary,
but I am willing to pregame
51
00:02:02,625 --> 00:02:06,666
by watching a double feature
of this and this.
52
00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:09,416
You know, that movie
doesn't really hold up.
53
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:11,041
How dare you!
54
00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:14,625
Also, Medieval Times
is not historically accurate.
55
00:02:14,708 --> 00:02:19,000
They serve tomato bisque soup
with focaccia dippers.
56
00:02:19,083 --> 00:02:20,791
It's how knights ate!
57
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:25,666
Josh, I love "focach", but it's
not from medieval times!
58
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:27,208
Thine dippers
are delicious,
59
00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:30,333
and I shall dip them
by mine self!
60
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:33,208
Oh, ugh, ugh.
61
00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:34,666
Don't even think
about helping me.
62
00:02:34,750 --> 00:02:37,500
♪ Popcorn button
on the microwave ♪
63
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:39,875
♪ How does it know
how long it will take ♪
64
00:02:39,958 --> 00:02:41,000
♪ There's so many brands ♪
65
00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:42,625
♪ And there's so many kinds ♪
66
00:02:42,708 --> 00:02:45,208
♪ How does it know to take
just the right time ♪
67
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,208
♪ Old man looking
in a barber shop ♪
68
00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:49,375
♪ What would make you
even stop ♪
69
00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:52,041
♪ You're not bad-looking,
and you're kind of buff ♪
70
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:54,333
♪ But if you walked in,
what would they even cut ♪
71
00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:57,333
♪ I want to have sex
with Mr. Rogers ♪
72
00:02:57,416 --> 00:03:02,208
♪ Not the one from TV,
a different Mr. Rogers ♪
73
00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:04,125
[ Cellphone clicking ]
74
00:03:04,208 --> 00:03:05,541
[ Single clap ]
75
00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:07,625
It's pretty cool these shows
end so early now, huh?
76
00:03:07,708 --> 00:03:09,375
Want to help me trim
Candice's fingernails?
77
00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:11,416
They're so tiny.
78
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:12,708
Ugh.
What?
79
00:03:12,791 --> 00:03:14,375
We have, like, an extra
30 minutes to hang out.
80
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:16,166
This isn't just hanging out
to me, Em.
81
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,625
This is serious.
82
00:03:17,708 --> 00:03:20,041
Look at Weird Al
judging us.
83
00:03:20,125 --> 00:03:21,541
We need to go to a cabin
in the woods
84
00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:24,166
and write songs
like we used to.
85
00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:25,625
I'd love that!
86
00:03:25,708 --> 00:03:30,500
My December opens up a bit
during winter break, or in 2032,
87
00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:31,791
Candice goes off
to college.
88
00:03:31,875 --> 00:03:35,583
No, I meant this weekend,
like, now!
89
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:37,166
Uh, n -- now?
90
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,250
Now!
91
00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:39,500
We're never going to
write anything
92
00:03:39,583 --> 00:03:41,583
while you're here
being a mombie.
93
00:03:41,666 --> 00:03:43,500
I'm not a mombie.
94
00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:45,833
Emily,
party in the hills!
95
00:03:45,916 --> 00:03:47,083
You want to go?
96
00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:50,583
[ Exhausted ] Did you go poopy
in your diapy?
97
00:03:50,666 --> 00:03:54,000
In my defense, you did shit
your pants at the party.
98
00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:55,916
Pfft, and we haven't written
a new song since.
99
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,291
Ugh, our Gotye parody
is still relevant!
100
00:04:00,916 --> 00:04:02,791
What are you doing?
101
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,000
[ Cellphone chimes ]
102
00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:06,416
[ Gasps ] How'd you do that
so fast?
103
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,625
I'm 26.
104
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:10,291
Interested, seriously?
105
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,458
I have a busy weekend.
106
00:04:12,541 --> 00:04:13,833
Ugh!
107
00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:16,791
In honor of your
Medieval-Times-aversary,
108
00:04:16,875 --> 00:04:19,250
mugs of grog
for ye and ye mate.
109
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:20,833
Me mate is not here.
110
00:04:20,916 --> 00:04:22,125
Why not?
What happened?
111
00:04:22,208 --> 00:04:23,291
I should've seen
the signs.
112
00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:24,583
We've been
drifting apart.
113
00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:26,000
All he cares about
is his book and...
114
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:28,208
In honor of your
Medieval-Times-aversary,
115
00:04:28,291 --> 00:04:32,083
mugs of grog
for ye and ye mate.
116
00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:34,250
[ Gulping ]
117
00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:35,625
Ugh, without Alex here,
118
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:38,833
this grog just tastes
like horse pee.
119
00:04:38,916 --> 00:04:41,750
He's onto us, Cletus!
Switch to plan B!
120
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:44,333
♪♪
121
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:47,458
Get your brownies,
piping hot and authentic
122
00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:49,583
to the time period!
123
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:52,500
Ugh.
124
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,000
[ Glass shatters ]
125
00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:59,166
♪♪
126
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:00,500
Oh, hey.
127
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:02,458
You hungry, boy?
128
00:05:02,541 --> 00:05:04,541
[ Snarling ]
129
00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:07,500
Man's best friend,
unlike stupid Alex.
130
00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:08,750
Who Alex?
131
00:05:08,833 --> 00:05:10,833
Aah! Ugh!
132
00:05:10,916 --> 00:05:15,750
♪♪
133
00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:19,750
♪♪
134
00:05:19,833 --> 00:05:22,291
Me dog and boy.
135
00:05:22,375 --> 00:05:25,666
Dude, that's awesome!
136
00:05:25,750 --> 00:05:27,166
Dude!
137
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:28,583
Dude!
138
00:05:29,916 --> 00:05:34,791
Whoa, I cant believe you live
in this van, so cool!
139
00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:37,333
Me try
to make it homey.
140
00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:38,916
Me copied Dwell magazine.
141
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,125
Wow. Your owner must be
pretty awesome.
142
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,208
Me owner
opposite of awesome.
143
00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:46,125
Me owner not awesome.
144
00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,000
She once
brilliant scientist,
145
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:51,708
but she play God,
make human-animal hybrids!
146
00:05:51,791 --> 00:05:53,666
She treated me
like I was special
147
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,750
until she not like
the way me act.
148
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:58,708
Woman: You think
you're so smart, huh?
149
00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:00,666
You think I can't clone
another dog
150
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:02,583
that knows how
to wear underpants?
151
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:05,541
Me only joy was watching
Jim Carrey movies.
152
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:08,083
Me watched
"The Mask" 300 times.
153
00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:10,333
"Somebody stop me!"
154
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:12,750
It probably
why I so well-adjusted.
155
00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:14,208
Years pass.
156
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:17,333
I tried to improve, but nothing
was good enough for her.
157
00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:19,708
Your performance
is an abomination!
158
00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:23,750
I'll have to bury the project
and bury you!
159
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:25,708
Me realize
it time to go.
160
00:06:25,791 --> 00:06:28,666
Me wants to be free,
free to see the world,
161
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:31,208
free to make
my own choices!
162
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,666
♪♪
163
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,583
Been on run ever since.
164
00:06:35,666 --> 00:06:37,250
Well, I'm glad
you're safe now.
165
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:38,916
Me never be safe.
166
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,541
Do all dog boys
feel this alone?
167
00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:43,083
I think
you're the only dog boy.
168
00:06:43,166 --> 00:06:45,916
Oh, all righty then.
169
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,416
♪♪
170
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:48,666
♪ Mock... ♪
171
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:50,416
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ ...ing... ♪
172
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,458
♪ Yeah! ♪
173
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:52,500
♪ ...bird! ♪
174
00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:53,541
♪ Yeah! ♪
175
00:06:53,625 --> 00:06:54,583
♪ Yeah! ♪
176
00:06:54,666 --> 00:06:55,833
♪ Yeah! ♪
177
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,250
[ Both laugh ]
178
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,291
Ah, you really
get me, Dog Boy.
179
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,166
Actually, me name Tory.
180
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:02,583
Yeah, I like Dog Boy.
181
00:07:02,666 --> 00:07:04,291
How about DB?
Nah, just Dog Boy.
182
00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:06,458
Hmm, okay!
183
00:07:06,541 --> 00:07:08,416
♪ A cabin in the woods is fun ♪
184
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,291
♪ Unless your friend
doesn't show up ♪
185
00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:14,125
♪ And you get killed
by a drifter ♪
186
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:15,958
You got anything
to rhyme with drifter
187
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:18,791
Ugh, I can't believe
you brought your daughter.
188
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,708
[ Cellphone chimes ]
189
00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:24,791
Pearl is hanging out
with Candice,
190
00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:27,958
and Josh is hanging out
with some dog, so let's do this!
191
00:07:28,041 --> 00:07:29,125
Yes!
192
00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:31,791
We are going to write
so many songs!
193
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:34,541
And I am totally
going to focus!
194
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,458
[ Cellphone ringing ]
195
00:07:36,541 --> 00:07:38,125
Mom Emily
would answer that.
196
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,958
Musician Emily
does not pick up.
197
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:42,166
[ Ringing continues ]
198
00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:43,875
Uh, okay,
just this once.
199
00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:45,166
Hi, sweetie!
200
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:46,583
Yeah, you can watch
a movie with Pearl.
201
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,958
Wait.
Did you say "Training Day"?
202
00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,833
Hold up.
You're going in and out.
203
00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:51,833
Ugh.
204
00:07:51,916 --> 00:07:54,416
[ Game pad beeping ]
205
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,583
Hey, man. I know our whole
Medieval Times thing
206
00:07:56,666 --> 00:07:58,000
is still really important
to you.
207
00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,250
No, it's fine.
208
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:01,625
I met the coolest guy there,
the coolest.
209
00:08:01,708 --> 00:08:06,333
You went without me?
I did, and it was smoking!
210
00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:09,000
[ Doorbell rings ]
211
00:08:09,083 --> 00:08:13,791
I don't meant to bother you,
but I'm looking for a lost dog.
212
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,208
[ Gasps ]
213
00:08:15,291 --> 00:08:16,833
Sorry.
We haven't seen him.
214
00:08:16,916 --> 00:08:18,333
Are you sure?
215
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,708
Nope, haven't seen him, uh,
no dogs in the building!
216
00:08:21,791 --> 00:08:25,375
Bye!
That her!
She must track van!
217
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,208
Jesus!
What the hell is that?
218
00:08:27,291 --> 00:08:28,375
Dog Boy isn't a that.
219
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:29,708
He's my new best friend.
220
00:08:29,791 --> 00:08:32,458
It's stereotype that dog
is man's best friend,
221
00:08:32,541 --> 00:08:33,916
but in this case,
it true.
222
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,666
Dog Boy got
his degree online.
223
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:37,375
He's basically
as smart as you.
224
00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:40,208
University of Phoenix.
Go, browsers!
225
00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:41,541
Hey, boy.
226
00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:43,125
You want to go check out
some Jim Carrey landmarks?
227
00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:46,875
Coast is clear, so this
concludes our broadcast day.
228
00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:49,041
Click.
-How dare you?
229
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:51,375
Quoting "The Cable Guy"
was our thing.
230
00:08:51,458 --> 00:08:52,583
Come on, Dog Boy.
231
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,708
Let's go do more quotes
in the van.
232
00:08:55,791 --> 00:08:56,875
Fine!
233
00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:58,833
Then I guess I'll uncancel
all my meetings
234
00:08:58,916 --> 00:09:01,208
with LA's
top literary agents
235
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,125
who specialize
in viking science fiction
236
00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:06,208
for young adults.
237
00:09:06,291 --> 00:09:08,375
[ Engine starts ]
238
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,791
A van with a dog's head?
239
00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,916
Some people have no class.
240
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:18,708
I swear I've seen that van
somewhere, from some cold case.
241
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,916
Mom, you're supposed to be
retired from cop stuff!
242
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,250
Why can't you play mahjong like
the rest of the old ladies?
243
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:27,500
Cold cases are
my mahjong!
244
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:30,375
Hey, Candice.
You want to catch a criminal?
245
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,041
[ Gasps ]
Can I be a corrupt cop?
246
00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:33,291
I want to be Denzel!
247
00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:36,416
[ Laughs ]
Go get my computer, Randy!
248
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:37,916
It's huge!
249
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,208
Just go get it!
250
00:09:40,291 --> 00:09:43,375
You used to
let me be Denzel.
251
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,375
To new best friends!
252
00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:47,125
To new friends!
253
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:57,625
♪♪
254
00:09:57,708 --> 00:10:08,125
♪♪
255
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:18,375
♪♪
256
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,291
What the hell!
That thing ate my manuscript?
257
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:24,125
That's it!
258
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,416
Found your dog.
259
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:29,166
Meet me at --
Ugh.
260
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,041
Oh, good, you here!
261
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,541
Me love your book.
262
00:10:32,625 --> 00:10:34,125
My book?
But I thought you ripped it up?
263
00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,833
Oh, no, me just rip up part
264
00:10:35,916 --> 00:10:38,125
where Alexi die
in space battle.
265
00:10:38,208 --> 00:10:40,958
Alexi good character
with much to live for.
266
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,208
Need him for next book.
267
00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:43,666
You think there
could be a sequel?
268
00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:45,041
Sequel?
269
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:48,500
Me think FutureViking 3030
could be franchise.
270
00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:51,500
Wow, that is
a huge compliment.
271
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:54,000
Oh, no.
272
00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:55,791
Phew, okay.
273
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:59,208
Me online professor said
me had nose for pros
274
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:00,916
and other
dogs' buttholes.
275
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:05,166
Ha! You, sir,
are a delight!
276
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:08,291
Vis-a-vis, uh, sniffing
on those buttholes, uh...
277
00:11:09,708 --> 00:11:12,333
Hey, wasn't sure if you were
more into pizza rolls
278
00:11:12,416 --> 00:11:15,208
or dog chow,
so I got both for toni--
279
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,791
What's going on here?
280
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:19,125
Oh, my friend here just gave me
281
00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:21,166
some really thorough notes
on my book.
282
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:25,375
It wasn't exactly, "You are
the king of books, dude,"
283
00:11:25,458 --> 00:11:27,416
but I found it insightful.
284
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,791
Oh, so now my feedback
is too dumb for you?
285
00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:31,666
Uh, excuse me, bros.
286
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:34,750
Dog Boy need to find a hydrant
with his name on it.
287
00:11:36,416 --> 00:11:37,958
What's your deal?
288
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:40,500
I'm just having a stimulating
rap sesh with a fellow writer.
289
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:42,583
There's no way that you're
hanging out with Dog Boy.
290
00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:44,041
Dog-boy loves
Medieval Times,
291
00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:45,375
and you think
you're better than that!
292
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:48,500
Oh, I think both me
and Dog Boy --
293
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,708
[ Dog Boy barking, howling ]
294
00:11:49,791 --> 00:11:51,416
Both: Dog-boy!
295
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:56,333
♪♪
296
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,083
Comic Sans?
297
00:11:58,166 --> 00:12:01,416
I mean, an address?
298
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,958
Bridgette: We've got the sex.
We've got the drugs.
299
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:07,250
Let's comedy
rock 'n' roll!
300
00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:08,750
Yeah, yeah, roll.
301
00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:10,000
What are you doing?
302
00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:11,875
-What?
-Are you checking your phone?
303
00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:13,791
What?!
No!
304
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:17,541
Okay. I was, but look how cute
Candice is being!
305
00:12:18,458 --> 00:12:20,625
You think Weird Al
checks his phone
306
00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:22,166
during songwriting
sessions?
307
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,583
No, he probably has
a parody phone
308
00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:25,750
like a banana or something,
but who cares?
309
00:12:25,833 --> 00:12:27,500
You checked your phone
during your wedding.
310
00:12:27,583 --> 00:12:29,541
And I'm not married
anymore!
311
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,666
Come on!
Let's focus!
312
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:32,958
Fine.
313
00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:36,625
[ Birds chirping ]
314
00:12:36,708 --> 00:12:37,750
I just want to post that.
315
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:40,250
Here, I'll show you a post!
316
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:49,666
Post up!
317
00:12:50,583 --> 00:12:52,541
Mother --
318
00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:56,458
Time to see who owns
that damn van.
319
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:59,750
Mm, I got you now,
Meredith Breedmore!
320
00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:02,875
To protect the sheep,
you got to catch the wolf,
321
00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:06,250
and it takes a wolf
to catch a wolf.
322
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:08,750
Now you say one
of Ethan Hawke's lines.
323
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,750
No one knows his part!
324
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,291
Josh: So it wasn't enough for
you to ruin one friendship.
325
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:16,208
You had to super-size it
and make it a combo!
326
00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:19,375
Ah, do you make
any references past 1998?
327
00:13:19,458 --> 00:13:22,166
You're like an old sweater that
I've had in my closet forever,
328
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:24,500
and I can't throw it away
because I feel bad for it.
329
00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:27,250
Well, you're just like
a fat bearded sweater
330
00:13:27,333 --> 00:13:30,333
that used to be skinnier
and without a beard.
331
00:13:30,416 --> 00:13:32,625
Ugh, your metaphors
are really terrible!
332
00:13:32,708 --> 00:13:34,833
Good because
I hate metaphors,
333
00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:37,708
and I definitely know
what those are.
334
00:13:37,791 --> 00:13:39,166
I cannot believe
you did that.
335
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,125
I can't believe you haven't
focused on this band
336
00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:43,208
since baby Yoko
came along.
337
00:13:43,291 --> 00:13:45,833
Well, then maybe
I'm quitting the band!
338
00:13:45,916 --> 00:13:48,958
Well, you quit the band
a long time ago!
339
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,750
Um, e -- excuse me.
Uh, is this your phone?
340
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:54,458
It hit me while I was posting
a new song online.
341
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:55,708
[ Both gasp ]
342
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,083
America's only respected
comedy songwriter...
343
00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:58,666
Both: Weird Al Yankovic!
344
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:02,000
Hey, when I'm with my family,
it's just Dad Al Yankovic.
345
00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:03,375
This is insane!
346
00:14:03,458 --> 00:14:05,333
We came to the woods
to write a new comedy song.
347
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:07,458
Yeah, w -- w -- w --
well, we were supposed to.
348
00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:10,375
I'm focused on it, but Emily
doesn't seem to care.
349
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,708
I do care.
350
00:14:11,791 --> 00:14:13,708
I think you can write songs
and focus on your family.
351
00:14:13,791 --> 00:14:15,875
And I think family
gets in the way!
352
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,333
Who's right, Weird Al?
353
00:14:17,416 --> 00:14:19,958
Oh, oh, okay. First of all,
there are no sides.
354
00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:23,083
There are so many ways
to create a great piece of art.
355
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,291
No matter what I'm writing,
whether it's "Eat It"
356
00:14:25,375 --> 00:14:26,708
or "Amish Paradise,"
357
00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:30,625
I always just try to be
true to myself.
358
00:14:30,708 --> 00:14:32,916
And after that,
I sharpen a narwhal tusk,
359
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,541
puncture the heel
of my left foot
360
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:37,083
and use the blood to summon
the demon song god
361
00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:38,750
Nishquantasi.
362
00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,208
The demon song god?
363
00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:41,208
Yeah!
364
00:14:41,291 --> 00:14:43,750
[ Bear growls ]
365
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,291
Is that part
of the process?
366
00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:46,916
No, that's a bear.
367
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,666
Aah!
I just wanted a Gotye parody!
368
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:51,875
Aah!
369
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:55,625
Oh, my God! That bear is mauling
Weird Al!
370
00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:56,750
Run!
371
00:14:56,833 --> 00:14:59,125
Forsooth, halt!
372
00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:00,208
I think
that was English!
373
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,958
[ Animals screeching ]
374
00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:03,416
What the hell?
375
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,458
Is that possum
wearing sunglasses?
376
00:15:05,541 --> 00:15:09,125
Great!
Of course she took Dog Boy
to an impenetrable fortress!
377
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,541
Game over, man,
game over!
378
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,875
I'm coming
for you, Dog Boy!
379
00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:16,416
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
380
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,541
Aah!
381
00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:21,208
Whah!
382
00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:25,375
Both: Aah!
383
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,125
[ Dog Boy howls ]
384
00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:28,458
Dog Boy?
385
00:15:28,541 --> 00:15:31,750
Dog Boy?
386
00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:35,375
Damn it!
That was a very expensive door!
387
00:15:35,458 --> 00:15:37,125
What are you doing
to my friend?
388
00:15:37,208 --> 00:15:40,250
You mean my friend,
probably more mine than his.
389
00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:41,500
Me miss you guys!
390
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:43,416
But you probably miss
one more than the other.
391
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,583
Am I right, buddy?
392
00:15:44,666 --> 00:15:45,541
Silence!
393
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:47,291
Dog Boy is my property.
394
00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:49,833
You're interrupting
my life's work.
395
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,291
Okay.
What's your game, Meredith?
396
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:53,958
Are you trying to
make furries even sexier?
397
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,833
My note -- Add more nips.
398
00:15:56,916 --> 00:16:00,125
What? No!
I'm trying to make this!
399
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,291
♪♪
400
00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:02,958
What?
Huh?
401
00:16:03,583 --> 00:16:05,125
Both: Huh?
402
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:07,208
♪♪
403
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:09,625
You're making
animal movies?
404
00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:12,166
Audiences are sick
of CG talking animals.
405
00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:13,958
Practical effects
are back in demand,
406
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:17,000
and I'm going to make a fortune
off the backs of these hybrids.
407
00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:19,041
She force me
to act in these movies.
408
00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:21,000
That's why I try to escape.
409
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,625
But wait. What about you saying
you wanted to be free
410
00:16:22,708 --> 00:16:23,833
to make your own choices?
411
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,333
Yeah, acting choices.
412
00:16:25,416 --> 00:16:27,125
What about her testing
your performance?
413
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:30,625
Oh, yeah, me not testing well
among 18-to-34-year-olds.
414
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,166
So you weren't
being tortured?
415
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:34,333
If you had to make sense
of her terrible plots,
416
00:16:34,416 --> 00:16:35,666
you'd feel tortured, too!
417
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:38,666
Bad dog! I know how to make you
more obedient!
418
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:41,666
It's time for
a special director's cut.
419
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,500
[ Gasps ]
You're going to take his --
420
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:46,000
Yep, in order to make
more dog boys,
421
00:16:46,083 --> 00:16:48,333
I just need what's
in his bean bags,
422
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,875
his danglies,
his bing-bongs.
423
00:16:50,958 --> 00:16:53,916
Oh, my God, lady,
just say balls!
424
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,041
Not one step closer,
gentleman!
425
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:59,250
♪♪
426
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:03,000
[ Alarm blaring ]
427
00:17:03,083 --> 00:17:06,708
That squirrel kind of looks
like Candice.
428
00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:10,208
I really wasn't trying
to compare Candice to Yoko.
429
00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,666
She's a great kid.
430
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,625
I'm sorry I wasn't focused
on our music, Bridge.
431
00:17:13,708 --> 00:17:15,166
The truth is,
I love the band,
432
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:17,541
but I couldn't give it
everything you could.
433
00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:19,250
I love you
like a sister!
434
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:21,750
And I love you like
a half-sister!
435
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,791
I just --
I have a sister already,
436
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:27,375
and I don't throw
that stuff around easily.
437
00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:31,750
[ Alarm blaring ]
438
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,583
[ Gasps ]
They're going away.
439
00:17:33,666 --> 00:17:35,708
We're not going to die!
440
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:39,250
Is that Josh and Alex!
441
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:40,250
Did that do anything?
442
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:43,041
Who cares?
Just run!
443
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:45,250
Aah!
Oh, geez!
444
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,416
[ Whimpers ]
445
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,791
Whoa!
446
00:17:47,875 --> 00:17:50,333
Aah!
Ah, no, no.
447
00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:52,125
To be or not to be!
Ugh!
448
00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:53,166
[ Both grunt ]
449
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:54,291
Both: Huh?
450
00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:56,500
That'll be
quite enough, boys.
451
00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:59,291
[ Electricity crackling ]
452
00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:04,875
You sure this best way
to neuter Dog Boy?
453
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,166
I'm sorry about not going to
Medieval Times with you.
454
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:10,958
No, I'm sorry.
455
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:14,166
I was being a dick to you,
but you know what?
456
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:17,791
We tried to save
Dog Boy together.
457
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,000
Together.
458
00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:20,291
Hey, man,
you want to hear
459
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:23,875
the most annoying
sound in the world?
460
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:26,208
Ugh, I do, man.
461
00:18:26,291 --> 00:18:27,791
I do.
462
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,458
Eeeeeeh!
463
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:32,166
Eeeeeh!
464
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:33,125
[ Rumbling ]
465
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,875
Don't stop.
It's working!
466
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:40,791
Both: Eeeeeeeeeeh!
467
00:18:40,875 --> 00:18:42,500
Eeeeeh!
468
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:45,750
Guys! Guys!
Ugh!
469
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,958
Best friends!
Both: He's okay!
470
00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:49,166
You two good team.
471
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,291
We're just happy you're okay,
Dog Boy!
472
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:54,875
Meredith Breedmore, your day
of reckoning has come!
473
00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:57,833
No, I'm doing the world
a service, better animal
474
00:18:57,916 --> 00:18:59,958
acting, better --
Ugh!
475
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:04,458
I knew I seen that van before
because nothing gets past me,
476
00:19:04,541 --> 00:19:07,125
and now we finally got you
477
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:10,000
for these six unpaid
parking tickets.
478
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:11,875
What about my animals?
479
00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:13,250
What animals?
480
00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:15,000
Take her away, boys.
481
00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:16,916
Wait! Wait!
Wait!
482
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,333
Aah! Aah! Oh!
Fly higher!
483
00:19:20,416 --> 00:19:21,791
BOTH: Bridgette?
Emily?
484
00:19:21,875 --> 00:19:23,333
We saw everything.
485
00:19:23,416 --> 00:19:25,833
I think we might have
an idea for a song.
486
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:28,375
Bridgette: This is a new song
that we just wrote.
487
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:32,250
It goes out
to our new friend, Dog Boy.
488
00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:34,291
♪ Is he a dog ♪
489
00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:35,625
♪ Is he a boy ♪
490
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,125
♪ He may be two things ♪
491
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:39,083
♪ But he's full of joy ♪
492
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:41,041
♪ He taught us love ♪
493
00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:43,041
♪ And how to give ♪
494
00:19:43,125 --> 00:19:44,583
♪ Shout-out to Weird Al ♪
495
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:46,583
♪ Who got killed by a bear ♪
Oh, come on!
496
00:19:46,666 --> 00:19:48,041
♪ He brought us together ♪
497
00:19:48,125 --> 00:19:50,041
♪ Despite ourselves ♪
498
00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:52,208
♪ We'll go on ♪
499
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,583
♪ What are friends ♪
500
00:19:53,666 --> 00:19:55,791
♪ Don't you hurt Dog Boy ♪
501
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:58,833
♪ Hurt Dog Boy no more ♪
502
00:19:58,916 --> 00:20:00,625
Take it, Dog Boy!
503
00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:03,583
♪ Ro, ro, ro,
ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ♪
504
00:20:03,666 --> 00:20:07,416
♪ Ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, roo ♪
505
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,666
[ Cheers and applause ]
506
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,375
All: Bye, Dog Boy!
507
00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:13,416
All righty then.
508
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:14,750
All righty then!
509
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,916
Let me
tell you something!
510
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,500
Are they okay, Mommy?
511
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:21,541
Yeah, sometimes old friends
say stuff no one else gets.
512
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:24,208
But they're
really weird, right?
513
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:25,458
So weird.
514
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:30,541
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
515
00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:33,875
♪ Ooh ♪
516
00:20:33,958 --> 00:20:42,666
♪♪
517
00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:46,541
♪ Won't you come see about me ♪
518
00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:49,583
♪ I'll be alone dancing ♪
519
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,416
♪ You know it, baby ♪
520
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,958
♪ Tell me
your troubles and doubts ♪
521
00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:59,583
♪ Giving me everything
inside and out and ♪
522
00:20:59,666 --> 00:21:04,875
♪ Love is strange,
so real in the dark ♪
523
00:21:04,958 --> 00:21:13,291
♪♪
524
00:21:13,375 --> 00:21:21,666
♪♪
525
00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:30,083
♪♪
526
00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:32,291
[ Both grunting ]