1
00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:06,375
Aww, I can't believe
2
00:00:06,458 --> 00:00:08,666
you're going on your
very first sleepover!
3
00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:11,375
Please, Mom,
I'm not some baby.
4
00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:12,666
Did you pack Mr. Bun Bun?
5
00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:14,291
And Mr. Num Num.
6
00:00:14,375 --> 00:00:15,916
Oh, thank God.
7
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,250
Bye!
Have a great time!
8
00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:23,083
[ Sobs ] Wow, I didn't know
I was gonna feel this -- this...
9
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,625
freakin' pumped!
10
00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:26,583
We haven't had a night
to ourselves in five years.
11
00:00:26,666 --> 00:00:27,791
We can do
whatever we want!
12
00:00:27,875 --> 00:00:29,166
We have nothing
holding us back!
13
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:30,208
[ Gasps ]
14
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,125
Together:
We can run errands!
15
00:00:32,208 --> 00:00:33,916
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
16
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,791
♪♪
17
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,125
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
18
00:00:38,208 --> 00:00:41,583
♪♪
19
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,291
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
20
00:00:43,375 --> 00:00:46,458
♪♪
21
00:00:46,541 --> 00:00:48,500
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
22
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:51,208
♪♪
23
00:00:51,291 --> 00:00:52,958
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
24
00:00:53,041 --> 00:01:01,958
♪♪
25
00:01:02,041 --> 00:01:10,791
♪♪
26
00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:13,083
[ Chuckles ]
Kid-free night.
27
00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:19,791
♪♪
28
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:26,333
♪♪
29
00:01:26,416 --> 00:01:28,833
Your sticky toffee
mincemeat brandy bun
30
00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:30,958
is cram-jammed
with flavor!
31
00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:34,291
Ahh, it is so cram-jammed.
32
00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:36,333
How'd she get the meat
so minced?
33
00:01:36,416 --> 00:01:37,500
Bridgette!
34
00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:40,000
Grab a Snuggie
and get in on this action.
35
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:41,166
Sorry, can't.
36
00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:42,500
I'm going out
to Logan's tonight.
37
00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:44,041
It's the hot club
right now.
38
00:01:44,125 --> 00:01:45,500
Boo! A club?
39
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,041
Come on,
it's Crumpet Week!
40
00:01:47,125 --> 00:01:50,166
Yeah, so, remember how we agreed
to warn each other
41
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,083
if we ever started to turn,
you know...
42
00:01:52,166 --> 00:01:53,083
old?
43
00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:54,333
What?
44
00:01:54,416 --> 00:01:56,000
Just 'cause we're drinking
lavender dreamtime tea?
45
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,250
Lavender dreamtime?
46
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,666
Uh, yes, please!
47
00:01:58,750 --> 00:01:59,875
First pour, though.
48
00:01:59,958 --> 00:02:01,583
Daddy doesn't like it
too strong.
49
00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:03,666
Guys, you have a whole night
to yourselves
50
00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:05,458
and this is what
you're gonna do with it?
51
00:02:05,541 --> 00:02:06,500
You're old.
52
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:07,541
No, we're...
53
00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:08,708
not?
54
00:02:08,791 --> 00:02:10,875
[ Easy listening music plays ]
55
00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:13,583
♪♪
56
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:16,250
[ Gulping ]
57
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:17,250
[ Beeping ]
58
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:19,083
Good night!
59
00:02:19,166 --> 00:02:21,375
[ Motor whirring ]
60
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:24,791
Lavender dream time?
61
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:26,500
Uh, yes, please!
62
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:30,250
Take us with you!
[ Tires screech ]
63
00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:31,916
-You sure?
-Yes.
64
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,916
We'll party just like
the old days --
65
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,125
rage all night
66
00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:37,083
and then stumble
into Brite Spot at dawn
67
00:02:37,166 --> 00:02:39,375
for chocolate-chip pancakes.
68
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,500
Yeah!
Let's do this right!
69
00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:42,750
[ Guitar riff ]
70
00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:45,041
[ Chuckles ]
Hope you guys like Weezer.
71
00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:48,083
[ Electronic dance music plays ]
72
00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:49,250
Together: Whoa!
73
00:02:49,333 --> 00:02:50,583
-Whoo, whoo!
-Whoo!
74
00:02:50,666 --> 00:02:52,708
♪♪
75
00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:55,208
Hey, my dude, my man,
my bro.
76
00:02:55,291 --> 00:02:57,750
What's a guy got to do to get
a few shots around here?
77
00:02:57,833 --> 00:03:00,000
Uh, stop trying so hard?
78
00:03:00,083 --> 00:03:01,625
Four tequilas, please.
79
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,583
Huh?!
80
00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:08,541
Uh...
81
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:09,958
[ Beep, chime ]
82
00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:11,916
Whoa!
One hundo percent.
83
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,083
So lit. Thanks.
84
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:16,250
To being lit!
85
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,333
To being lit!
To being lit!
86
00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:20,416
[ Chuckles ]
"Lit" means cool.
87
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,750
Alright, I'm just gonna
go over here
88
00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:23,916
while you guys
are talkin' like that.
89
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,625
Wait, isn't he, like,
some big YouTuber?
90
00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:28,416
Yeah -- Jaxon Pill.
91
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,166
Samsung paid him a hundred grand
to unbox a Galaxy,
92
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,166
and he literally shit
all over it.
93
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,500
Mama, mama, red pajama.
94
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:36,625
See you guys.
95
00:03:36,708 --> 00:03:38,958
I'mma go slide
into his DMs, IRL.
96
00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:40,250
Isn't he a little young?
97
00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:43,000
M'kay, byeeeee!
98
00:03:43,083 --> 00:03:44,750
Three more shots, please.
99
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:52,708
♪♪
100
00:03:52,791 --> 00:04:00,625
♪♪
101
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:08,583
♪♪
102
00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:09,958
[ Switch clicks ]
103
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,166
Ha!
♪ Closing time! ♪
104
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,125
Yeaaaah, son!
105
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:17,500
Ooh! Let's go get
those pan-que-ques!
106
00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:18,875
Huh? Oh. Whoops.
107
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,708
[ Music resumes, people shout ]
Sorry, my bad!
108
00:04:20,791 --> 00:04:22,416
Rage on!
109
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,500
Wait,
it's not closing time?
110
00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:26,791
[ Chuckles ]
Nah, bro, it's only...
111
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:30,666
[ Slo-mo ]
Niiiine fifteeeeeen.
112
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:34,458
♪♪
113
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,083
Hunh!
114
00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:39,708
Daaamn, you've got
six million subscribers?
115
00:04:39,791 --> 00:04:41,416
Plus four milly
on Insta.
116
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,166
You wanna come back
to my crib?
117
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,500
I got a custom Lambo.
118
00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:45,958
So Gucci, right?
119
00:04:46,041 --> 00:04:48,833
Soooo Gucci.
120
00:04:48,916 --> 00:04:52,458
Ugh, there's nowhere to sit,
and my back is killing me!
121
00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:53,500
What?!
122
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:55,958
I said
my back is killing me!
123
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,458
Yeah, totally.
124
00:04:57,541 --> 00:04:59,875
I don't know about you,
but my back is killing me!
125
00:04:59,958 --> 00:05:01,666
Should we just...
call it a night?
126
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:02,916
We can't!
127
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,791
That would be admitting
we're old lame-os.
128
00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:08,208
Ugh, what's wrong with me?
129
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:11,875
I'm already so friggin' tired.
130
00:05:11,958 --> 00:05:14,625
Guys, I think I'm...
131
00:05:14,708 --> 00:05:16,208
old.
132
00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:18,166
[ Groans ]
-Whoa, hey, watch out.
133
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,083
Hey, barkeep!
You got any, uh, craft beers?
134
00:05:21,166 --> 00:05:22,583
Maybe a double IPA?
135
00:05:22,666 --> 00:05:23,916
[ Sniffs ]
136
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:29,208
I'm gonna need to see
some ID, bro.
137
00:05:29,291 --> 00:05:31,208
Really?
[ Chuckles ] Wow.
138
00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:32,500
Thank you, Rogaine!
139
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,166
I've got boxers older than 21.
[ Chuckles ]
140
00:05:36,958 --> 00:05:42,625
Congrats, bro, you qualify
for our VIP room!
141
00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:47,000
[ Alarm blaring ]
[ Crowd chanting "VIP!" ]
142
00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:49,541
VIP? Ohh, man.
143
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:53,625
I can't wait to post
about this on Tripadvisor.
144
00:05:53,708 --> 00:05:54,833
Whoa!
145
00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:56,125
I wanna do that!
146
00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:57,958
How do you get to be
a VIP?
147
00:05:58,041 --> 00:06:00,708
[ Laughing ] Whoa!
148
00:06:00,791 --> 00:06:02,000
[ Chanting continues ]
149
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,041
Oh, my God.
150
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,625
It's so beautiful.
151
00:06:06,708 --> 00:06:08,250
Huh? Whoa.
152
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,458
What? No!
153
00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:11,083
Oh, my God!
154
00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:12,291
[ Splat ]
155
00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:14,583
Holy crap!
What the hell was that?!
156
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,083
Dude thought he could
cruise in here
157
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:18,125
over the age of 30
and not get executed?
158
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,416
SMH, bruh.
159
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:24,791
♪♪
160
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:26,208
Josh,
I don't want to die!
161
00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:27,875
We gotta find Bridgette
and get outta here!
162
00:06:27,958 --> 00:06:30,291
We can't let anyone in here
know we're over 30.
163
00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:35,000
♪♪
164
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:36,875
Mmmm!
Mmm.
165
00:06:36,958 --> 00:06:39,250
So what's up, girl?
You wanna come back to my crib?
166
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,791
[ Laughing ] Uh, okay!
167
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:43,333
But just to hang out.
I'm not some YouTube groupie.
168
00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:45,666
Hey, that's cool.
We'll do a little screen time,
169
00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,250
PBS Kids and chill,
170
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,958
get my mom
to whip us up some snacks...
171
00:06:50,041 --> 00:06:51,416
You...still live
with your mom?
172
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:52,791
And weekends at my dad's.
173
00:06:52,875 --> 00:06:54,541
He's so strong.
Uh...
174
00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:56,208
Wait --
how old are you?
175
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,166
Me?
I just turned 26 --
176
00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,291
Oh, whew!
177
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,833
...months.
26 months.
178
00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:03,500
What?!
179
00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:06,416
♪♪
180
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,250
[ Gasps ]
181
00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:10,666
Oh, my God!
You're a baby?!
182
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:11,916
Nah, I'm a big boy.
183
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,875
I haven't had breast milk
in over a year.
184
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:15,083
Though in your case, girl,
185
00:07:15,166 --> 00:07:18,500
shoot,
I'd go back on that teat.
186
00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:20,208
I'm going to jail!
187
00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:22,250
Bridgette!
188
00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,750
Are you shitting me?
189
00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:24,750
[ Sniffing ]
190
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:26,791
Oh, wait.
No, that's my bad.
191
00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:27,958
[ Panting ]
192
00:07:28,041 --> 00:07:29,416
Ugh!
193
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:32,166
Can I, uh, see some ID,
my man?
194
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,333
What?! Why?
We're -- We're hella young.
195
00:07:34,416 --> 00:07:36,250
Right, bae?
Uhh...
196
00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:37,583
For realsies.
197
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,375
Like, seriously, I'm
about to get a Bird scooter home
198
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:41,208
and just jump on
my parents' insurance.
199
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,208
[ Boing ]
200
00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:43,541
Hmm...
201
00:07:43,625 --> 00:07:45,375
That checks out.
My bad! [ Laughs ]
202
00:07:45,458 --> 00:07:47,583
Thought you were VIPs
for a second there.
203
00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,500
Ha!
No worries, my dude.
204
00:07:49,583 --> 00:07:51,916
We gotta jet, but hit me up
on the Facebook.
205
00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:55,375
Only old people
use Facebook.
206
00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:57,375
Uh...no, I meant...
207
00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:59,333
Snapchat! Venmo?
Uh...
208
00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:02,791
Look at me floss.
[ Grunting ]
209
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:05,041
[ Ominous music plays ]
210
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:07,875
Alex: I remember
Blockbuster Video!
211
00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:09,541
[ Crowd gasps ]
212
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:13,125
That's right.
I owned cassette singles!
213
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:17,166
I used AOL
to "surf the Web."
214
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:18,833
I am...
215
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:20,333
old!
216
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:24,208
[ Alarm blaring ]
[ Crowd chanting "VIP!" ]
217
00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:26,916
[ Alarm blaring ]
218
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,458
What the hell
are you doing?!
219
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:32,208
I'm just a tired old man
who can't even party anymore.
220
00:08:32,291 --> 00:08:35,000
If anybody should die tonight,
it's me.
221
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,750
Get away from me,
ya punk millennial!
222
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:44,250
Aw! He's sacrificing himself
to save us.
223
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:46,083
Very cool. Let's go.
No!
224
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:47,583
We can't leave him!
225
00:08:47,666 --> 00:08:49,708
[ Crowd cheering ]
226
00:08:49,791 --> 00:08:55,250
♪♪
227
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,583
[ Grunting ]
Get -- Get out of the way!
228
00:08:57,666 --> 00:08:59,750
Ugh!
Oh! Oh, whoa!
229
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:01,166
Whooooooa!
230
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,666
[ Grunts ]
231
00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:07,083
Hey!
Leave the old people alone.
232
00:09:07,166 --> 00:09:09,458
Let me go, Josh!
It's my time!
233
00:09:09,541 --> 00:09:10,958
I can't let you do this.
234
00:09:11,041 --> 00:09:12,708
You've still got lots
to live for!
235
00:09:12,791 --> 00:09:14,166
Dude, what's the point?
236
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,916
I'm only gonna get older
and lamer!
237
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,333
But what about all the good
parts of getting old?
238
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:21,291
Like how no one expects you to
keep up with new music anymore?
239
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:23,416
On a Friday night,
you can just stay in
240
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,750
and watch
"The Great British Bake Off"!
241
00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:29,875
And your beard's gonna get
all salt and pepper-y!
242
00:09:29,958 --> 00:09:31,666
I'm all about older guys
right now!
243
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:33,625
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You're saying I could have
244
00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:35,125
a Clooney vibe here?
245
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,875
Ohhh, God! No, no, no,
I wanna live!
246
00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:39,541
I wanna get old!
247
00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:42,625
[ Both grunting ]
248
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,125
[ Clanking ]
249
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,333
[ Crowd cheering ]
250
00:09:45,416 --> 00:09:46,666
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
251
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,500
[ All scream, grunt ]
252
00:09:48,583 --> 00:09:50,916
Noooo!
Everyone over 30 must die!
253
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,333
Just like in "Logan's Run"!
254
00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:57,041
Dude, did you just reference
a movie from 1976?
255
00:09:57,125 --> 00:09:58,416
[ Crowd murmuring ]
256
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,916
That's why you named
this place "Logan's"?
257
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,291
How old are you?
258
00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:05,333
What?! No!
I -- I must have seen it
259
00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:07,166
streaming on Crackle or --
260
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:09,083
Aah!
[ Crowd gasps ]
261
00:10:09,166 --> 00:10:11,458
This dude's pushing 50!
262
00:10:11,541 --> 00:10:12,708
[ All gasp ]
263
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:13,916
[ Retches ]
264
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,750
I just wanted to keep it young
in here!
265
00:10:15,833 --> 00:10:17,916
You can't have people over 30
in your bar.
266
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,083
Then it becomes a pub!
267
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:20,625
And I would have gotten away
with it,
268
00:10:20,708 --> 00:10:23,666
if it weren't for you nosy
35-year-old kids!
269
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,250
[ Crowd booing ]
270
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,875
No, no, no!
271
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,375
Aaaah!
272
00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:30,166
[ Glass shatters, doors slam ]
273
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,708
[ Crickets chirping ]
274
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:37,541
Yo, if you feelin' me,
then "wike and subscwibe."
275
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:39,375
[ Sighs ]
I know he's young,
276
00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:41,541
but he is cute.
277
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:45,541
Wow, is it just me,
or are these pancakes...
278
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,875
Disgustingly sweet?
279
00:10:47,958 --> 00:10:49,958
Yeah, I guess our tastes
have changed.
280
00:10:50,041 --> 00:10:52,125
And that's okay.
We've got new tastes.
281
00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:55,125
[ British accent ]
These Bakewell tarts
got a soggy bottom.
282
00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:57,916
[ British accent ]
Cram-jammed with potato curry!
283
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,291
[ Laughter ]
284
00:11:00,375 --> 00:11:03,500
Alex: We saw a guy
get killed tonight.
285
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,583
So, to prevent
further mishaps,
286
00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:11,500
the children will no longer
be learning acupuncture.
287
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:12,833
-[ Gasping ]
-Who cares?
288
00:11:12,916 --> 00:11:15,625
Aaaand this parent-teacher
meeting is done.
289
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,916
Is what I will say
as soon as we're done.
290
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,708
[ All groan ]
Oh, come on.
291
00:11:19,791 --> 00:11:20,916
[ Groaning ] Oh, man.
292
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,708
I should not've drunk
three Powerades.
293
00:11:22,791 --> 00:11:24,500
Shh! Just cross your legs.
It's almost over.
294
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:27,291
And there is one last thing
before I let you go,
295
00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:29,875
something very exciting.
Ooo.
296
00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:31,458
-Oh! Something exciting?
-What could it be?!
297
00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:32,833
Woman: Maybe this wasn't
a waste of time.
298
00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:33,833
An opportunity.
299
00:11:33,916 --> 00:11:35,333
If you're up to it.
300
00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:36,750
[ Laughs ]
301
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:38,083
-Wait. What's he doing?
-What's he got?!
302
00:11:38,166 --> 00:11:40,083
-Is that a 4x8?
-[ Gasps ] Oh, my God.
303
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:43,000
We need a volunteer
to be room parent!
304
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:44,625
[ Screaming ]
305
00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:46,208
Hunh! Ugh!
306
00:11:46,291 --> 00:11:48,291
Aaah!
[ Glass shatters ]
307
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:52,125
You guys, you guys, the drama --
do we need it?
308
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:53,833
You just have to send
a bunch of e-mails
309
00:11:53,916 --> 00:11:56,083
and raise money
for new playground equipment.
310
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:57,916
[ Squish ]
[ Screaming continues ]
311
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,916
Josh, whatever you do,
don't raise your...
312
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,958
hand?
313
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,458
Whoa, what'd I miss?
314
00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:05,833
We doing a purge?
315
00:12:05,916 --> 00:12:09,958
Joshua, would you like
to volunteer to be room parent?
316
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:11,375
That sounds pretty cool.
317
00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:13,833
Josh?! Dooooon't!
318
00:12:13,916 --> 00:12:17,708
[ Slo-mo ]
I'llll dooooo iiii--
319
00:12:17,791 --> 00:12:18,958
[ Thud ]
Yes!
320
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:21,333
We have our room parent
for the year!
321
00:12:21,416 --> 00:12:23,083
Whoo!
-He didn't mean it!
322
00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:24,375
It was a spasm!
323
00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:26,666
Ooh, I'm so sorry,
accidental hand raises
324
00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:28,083
are legally binding.
325
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:34,625
♪♪
326
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:40,958
♪♪
327
00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:43,000
Josh, do you realize
what you've signed up for?
328
00:12:43,083 --> 00:12:45,166
Your life as you know it
is over.
329
00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:46,708
It's an opportunity
to help the school
330
00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:48,375
and do something
for Candice.
331
00:12:48,458 --> 00:12:50,833
And it seems fun.
Check out this swag.
332
00:12:50,916 --> 00:12:54,000
That is a novelty thermometer
for the fundraiser.
333
00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:56,791
[ Chuckles ]
More like fun-raiser.
334
00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:57,791
[ Crickets chirping ]
335
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,916
I'm gonna go get Candice.
336
00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:03,583
Huh?
337
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:04,875
Let me help you with that,
338
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:07,041
you absolute hero.
339
00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:09,333
Oh, thanks, uh...
340
00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:11,750
Nikki.
I'm Billy's mom.
341
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,958
I just wanted to say
how impressive you are.
342
00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:17,875
It takes a real man
to volunteer
343
00:13:17,958 --> 00:13:20,583
to be room parent
and put on a fundraiser.
344
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:23,500
I think of it
as more of a fun-raiser.
345
00:13:24,666 --> 00:13:27,083
[ Laughs ]
346
00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:29,375
Oh, my God!
347
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,416
You're so funny!
348
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:32,875
Thanks.
I think so, too.
349
00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:37,083
Look, I don't want
to overstep, but...
350
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:40,083
What if we were
co-room parents?
351
00:13:40,166 --> 00:13:41,708
Really?
Yeah!
352
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:45,291
I did it for my older kids,
so I know how hard it can be.
353
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:48,750
But I bet
if we put our faces,
354
00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:51,458
[laughs] I mean heads
together,
355
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:53,416
we might even have
a little sex.
356
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,541
[ Snorts, laughs ]
357
00:13:55,625 --> 00:13:57,250
I mean fun.
Wow!
358
00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,916
That sounds great.
Thanks, Nikki.
359
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,250
Let's do coffee tomorrow.
360
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:01,916
Talk about the fundraiser,
361
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,083
explore our feelings.
362
00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:05,708
Oh, wow.
363
00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:07,125
Do you work out?
364
00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:08,875
Actually, don't answer.
365
00:14:08,958 --> 00:14:11,583
I want to find out
organically.
366
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:14,375
Who was that?
367
00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:16,416
She just offered to be
my co-room parent.
368
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,875
Really? Why?
369
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,166
Maybe she just likes
fundraising.
370
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,250
Nobody likes fundraising,
Josh.
371
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:25,333
Yeah!
What's fun about raisins, Josh?
372
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:27,583
[ Cellphone clicking, chimes ]
373
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:29,250
[ Snorts, laughs ]
374
00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:30,541
What's so funny?
375
00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:32,083
Ah, room parent stuff.
376
00:14:32,166 --> 00:14:33,875
You wouldn't understand.
[ Cellphone ringing ]
377
00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:35,375
[ Gasps ] This is her now!
378
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,958
I'd better take it.
379
00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:38,291
Nikki, hey!
380
00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:39,916
What am I wearing?
381
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,125
[ Chuckles ]
She's got it bad.
382
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:45,333
Oh, she's just aching
for that J-dog D.
383
00:14:45,416 --> 00:14:47,291
Pfft!
What are you talking about?
384
00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:48,625
Josh is a type.
385
00:14:48,708 --> 00:14:50,000
That hummingbird nose...
386
00:14:50,083 --> 00:14:52,166
His fragile hips.
387
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,791
The way his eyes tear up
when he tastes mustard.
388
00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:57,458
Dude's got a body
like the jack of clubs --
389
00:14:57,541 --> 00:14:59,916
better than a 10
and paper thin.
390
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000
No, they're just
joking around.
391
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:03,333
Going out to meet Nikki!
392
00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:05,083
She told me to wash my balls.
393
00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:07,458
Pfft! So random.
394
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:09,541
[ Ominous piano music plays ]
395
00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:11,500
[ Knocking on door ]
396
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:14,250
I've seen that look before.
Let me guess --
397
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:16,833
taking revenge on the cartel
that killed your partner?
398
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,750
I think Josh
is being seduced.
399
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:21,166
He doesn't realize it yet,
but once he does,
400
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,000
I'm worried
it'll be too late.
401
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:24,875
We'll take my spy van.
402
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,125
[ Heart's "Crazy On You "
plays ]
403
00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:31,666
♪♪
404
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:35,666
♪ But I tell myself
that I was doin' alright ♪
405
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:39,083
♪ There's nothin' left to do
at night ♪
406
00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:43,125
♪ But go crazy on you ♪
407
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:46,333
♪ Crazy on you ♪
408
00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:52,291
♪ Let me go crazy,
crazy on you, ohh ♪
409
00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:55,833
♪ My love is the evenin' breeze
touchin' your skin ♪
410
00:15:55,916 --> 00:15:59,625
♪ The gentle, sweet singin'
of leaves in the wind ♪
411
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:03,416
♪ The whisper that calls
after you in the night ♪
412
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:12,041
♪ And kisses your ear
in the early moonlight ♪
413
00:16:12,125 --> 00:16:14,541
♪♪
414
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:15,875
[ Crickets chirping ]
415
00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:18,375
♪ Bow, bow,
bow-now-now-now-now-now ♪
416
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:19,833
[ Guffawing ]
417
00:16:19,916 --> 00:16:20,666
Aaaaah!
418
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:22,083
I followed you today.
419
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:25,375
I saw you gallivanting around
town with your girlfriend!
420
00:16:25,458 --> 00:16:28,125
Nikki? We're just buds!
We like to horse around
421
00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:29,958
and give each other nicknames,
like Nik-Nak
422
00:16:30,041 --> 00:16:31,458
and Delicious Little
Sex Boy.
423
00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:34,458
I saw you being romantic
all over town.
424
00:16:34,541 --> 00:16:37,958
We were just exploring potential
places to hold the fundraiser.
425
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:39,625
So you aren't
cheating on me?
426
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:40,708
Of course not!
427
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,291
I love you!
And don't worry --
428
00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:43,791
If someone were
coming on to me,
429
00:16:43,875 --> 00:16:45,666
I would definitely know.
430
00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,375
Just in case,
would you mind
431
00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:50,416
not co-room-parenting
with Nikki anymore?
432
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,083
Oh. Totally.
433
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:53,416
Thank you.
434
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:54,875
Maybe we can
stop by her place
435
00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:57,250
before the fundraiser tomorrow
and break the news.
436
00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:58,500
Sure!
She invited me over
437
00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:00,416
for a tour of her bathtub
anyway, so --
438
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,083
Ohh! I see it now.
439
00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:05,083
[ Knocking on door ]
440
00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:07,125
Josh!
Josh's wife!
441
00:17:07,208 --> 00:17:09,750
What a pleasant surprise.
Come on in.
442
00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:11,791
Uh, sorry to drop in on you
like this.
443
00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:13,333
I just needed
to let you know,
444
00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:16,000
I don't think we should be
co-room parents anymore.
445
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,708
[ Laughs ]
446
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:20,833
You're so funny!
447
00:17:20,916 --> 00:17:23,333
I know I'm usually so funny,
but this time,
448
00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:24,958
I'm actually serious.
449
00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:26,541
But what about
the fundraiser?
450
00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:27,791
Josh can take care of it.
[ Smack ]
451
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:31,083
He really appreciates
all your help.
452
00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:32,666
Awwww!
453
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:34,166
Thank you, Josh!
454
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:37,041
Hey, I've been making
a killer apple tart.
455
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:39,500
How about a slice to show
there's no hard feelings?
456
00:17:39,583 --> 00:17:42,375
That would be --
[ Footsteps departing ]
457
00:17:42,458 --> 00:17:43,708
...lovely.
458
00:17:43,791 --> 00:17:45,916
[ Chuckles lightly ]
Hey, that worked out great!
459
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,208
Thanks for doing this.
460
00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:48,708
No problem.
461
00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:50,333
Billy, my man,
what's up?
462
00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:52,625
[ Static ]
463
00:17:52,708 --> 00:17:53,916
Josh...
464
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,291
Don't like responding to
questions when you watch TV?
465
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:59,000
My daughter's the same --
waaait a minute,
466
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:02,291
why does your arm feel
like it's filled with straw?
467
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:04,833
Oh, my God!
Billy's dead!
468
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:06,541
No! Billy's not real!
469
00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:08,166
We have to get out of here!
470
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:10,291
I'm afraid I can't let you
do that.
471
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:11,708
Not to be rude, but...
[chuckles nervously]
472
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,166
...I don't think
we want that tart anymore.
473
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:15,375
[ Laughs ]
Don't worry.
474
00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:17,666
The only thing on the menu...
[ Squish ]
475
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,166
...is gun.
476
00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:20,375
[ Both gasp ]
477
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:23,458
Wait, why did you bake it
into the tart?
478
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:27,541
So you're not even a parent
at the school?
479
00:18:27,625 --> 00:18:29,000
Ugh! God no.
480
00:18:29,083 --> 00:18:30,208
Kids are like, echhh!
481
00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:32,125
With their sticky little
blechhhh.
482
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:33,208
Yeah, no.
483
00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:35,208
I've pulled this grift
in every town
484
00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,500
from Santa Maria
to Santa Clarita.
485
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,208
Every school has at least
one dad up to his neck
486
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:43,125
in room parent duties,
desperate for help.
487
00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:46,458
In my line of work
we call them a "Josh."
488
00:18:46,541 --> 00:18:47,750
But why?
489
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:50,375
You can't be making
more than like 250 bucks.
490
00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:52,125
It's a volume business.
491
00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:54,458
I'm running a Josh
in Van Nuys, too.
492
00:18:54,541 --> 00:18:58,208
Well, this has been fun,
but I have children to rob.
493
00:18:58,291 --> 00:18:59,500
If she takes that money,
494
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,000
we won't be able to afford
a new playground!
495
00:19:01,083 --> 00:19:03,708
And everyone'll think
I'm just some dumb Josh!
496
00:19:03,791 --> 00:19:06,083
♪♪
497
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:07,958
[ Laughing evilly ]
498
00:19:08,041 --> 00:19:09,708
[ Grunting ]
499
00:19:09,791 --> 00:19:13,000
♪♪
500
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:16,541
-What are you doing?
-I'm getting us out of here.
501
00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:17,583
[ Grunts ]
502
00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:20,833
♪♪
503
00:19:20,916 --> 00:19:22,500
Why, yes, my son is here.
504
00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:24,958
And he's totally a human boy.
505
00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:26,500
Where the hell
are those two?
506
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:29,750
[ Knock on door ]
Postpal.
507
00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:31,416
They were all out of knife.
508
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,333
Ugh, you guys
are the worst.
509
00:19:34,416 --> 00:19:36,375
[ Panting ]
510
00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:39,416
♪♪
511
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,708
[ Tires screech ]
Nikki! Stop!
512
00:19:40,791 --> 00:19:42,000
[ Gasps ]
513
00:19:42,083 --> 00:19:44,083
[ Panting ]
514
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:47,166
See you on the other side,
losers!
515
00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,333
[ Horn toots ]
516
00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:51,916
Shit.
517
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:56,666
♪♪
518
00:19:56,750 --> 00:19:58,083
Hey!
You can't be up here!
519
00:19:58,166 --> 00:20:01,916
[ Laughs ] Oh, my God!
You're so funny.
520
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,416
Hyah!
Aaaaaah!
521
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:08,000
[ Explosion ]
522
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,291
[ People screaming ]
523
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,666
[ Gasps ] Mom!
524
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,458
Dad's girlfriend
is getting away!
525
00:20:12,541 --> 00:20:14,250
Don't call her that.
Give it up, Nikki.
526
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:16,458
You're trapped.
-Please!
527
00:20:16,541 --> 00:20:19,666
Like I could ever be outsmarted
by a Josh.
528
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,458
Okay,
I want to get off now.
529
00:20:21,541 --> 00:20:28,291
♪♪
530
00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:30,708
[ All grunt ]
531
00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:33,500
Emily!
532
00:20:33,583 --> 00:20:34,458
Josh!
533
00:20:34,541 --> 00:20:35,791
I've got to stop her!
534
00:20:35,875 --> 00:20:37,666
I'm a room parent.
535
00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:41,041
♪♪
536
00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:42,416
Ohh!
537
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:45,666
♪♪
538
00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:48,041
Aah!
[ Gunshots ]
539
00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:50,958
Sorry, Billy!
540
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,208
[ Screams ]
541
00:20:53,291 --> 00:20:54,208
Aah!
542
00:20:54,291 --> 00:20:55,208
[ Both grunt ]
543
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:56,541
Give me the cash, Nikki!
544
00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:58,083
How about I make out
a check?
545
00:20:58,166 --> 00:21:00,000
To your nuts!
546
00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:01,000
Gah!
547
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,000
Eh...gah!
548
00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:04,125
[ Grunts, shouts ]
549
00:21:06,291 --> 00:21:08,500
Ugh!
[ Bang ]
550
00:21:08,583 --> 00:21:10,166
[ Grunting ]
551
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:14,416
♪♪
552
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,500
So long, Josh!
553
00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:17,791
And by the way...
554
00:21:17,875 --> 00:21:20,166
you're actually not funny.
555
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:22,500
Yeah, it's pretty hard
to be funny...
556
00:21:22,583 --> 00:21:24,875
when the joke's on you!
557
00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:26,166
[ Gasps ]
558
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,291
Billy?!
559
00:21:27,375 --> 00:21:30,083
[ Screaming ]
How could you?!
560
00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:35,958
♪♪
561
00:21:36,041 --> 00:21:37,458
Noooooooo!
562
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:40,333
[ Explosion ]
563
00:21:40,416 --> 00:21:44,000
♪♪
564
00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:47,541
[ Bang ]
[ Crowd cheers ]
565
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:50,583
Hi! [Laughs] Thank you, yeah.
Mr. Campbell.
566
00:21:50,666 --> 00:21:53,416
I spoke with the rest
of the faculty at Chamomile,
567
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,208
and we all agreed
to make Josh...
568
00:21:56,291 --> 00:21:58,083
room parent for life!
569
00:21:58,166 --> 00:21:59,625
[ Cheering ]
570
00:21:59,708 --> 00:22:02,125
Uh...but that can't be
legally --
571
00:22:02,208 --> 00:22:03,708
It's legally binding!
572
00:22:03,791 --> 00:22:05,583
Yay! [ Laughs ]
573
00:22:05,666 --> 00:22:15,416
♪♪
574
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:25,250
♪♪
575
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:34,958
♪♪
576
00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:44,750
♪♪
577
00:22:44,833 --> 00:22:54,791
♪♪
578
00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:14,875
♪♪
579
00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:24,625
♪♪
580
00:23:24,708 --> 00:23:34,416
♪♪
581
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:44,458
♪♪