♪
[brakes squeak]
[shuts off engine] [birds chirping]
[whoosh]
[blink blink]
‐ Alan, this species of cartoon has been extinct since 1998.
I mean, these haven't been seen on TV
since the golden era of animation, and‐‐ and‐‐
[creak] What?
[conk]
[soft bellow]
ALL: La!
‐ It's... it's the Warner Brothers.
‐ And the Warner Sister!
‐ [chuckling] That's‐‐ Yeah. Tha‐‐ Oh yeah, yeah, yeah...
‐ He‐‐ He did it. Th‐th‐th‐th‐th‐that crazy
son of a gun actually did it.
‐ Clean vectored outlines, [wolf whistle]
widescreen format... [xylophone sound]
‐ These don't look like reruns! [honk]
SPIELBERG: Uh, well, uh, they're not. [chuckle]
I reanimated them.
‐ We are gonna make a fortune with this show.
[whip, alarm bells] ‐ How zany are they?
‐ Oh, uh, to the max.
[splat] O‐of course.
And then there's, uh, Pinky and the Brain.
‐ P‐‐ Pinky and the Brain?
You said you're bringing back Pinky and the Brain?
SPIELBERG: Mm‐hmm. ‐ Say it again.
‐ We're bringing back Pinky and the Brain.
‐ [gasp] Put your head between your knees.
ALL: Boingy! Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!
‐ Where are they going? ‐ Home.
Welcome to Animaniacs.
‐ Wake up!
♪ theme song playing ♪
‐ ♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪
♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
‐ ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪ ‐ ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪
♪ Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot ♪
♪ They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught ♪
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs ! ♪
♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe ♪
♪ A brand new cast who tested well in focus group research ♪
♪ Gender balance, pronoun neutral ♪
♪ And ethnically diverse ♪
♪ The trolls will say we're so passé, but we did meta first ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
♪ You should see our new contracts ♪
♪ We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks ♪
♪ We're animan‐ey, totally insane‐y ♪
‐ ♪ Have no shame‐y ♪
ALL: ♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪
♪
[whoosh]
‐ Alright, guys. There's a lot of pressure on our first lines.
They gotta funny, they gotta be irreverent, and most of all,
they gotta be carefully crafted.
‐ But you just wasted yours on...
[imitating] "Alright, guys. There's a lot of pressure on our first lines."
‐ And you just wasted yours on...
[imitating] "But you just wasted yours on,
'Alright, guys. There's a lot of pressure on our first lines.'"
‐ To be‐‐ YAKKO: Wait, don't!
Make sure it's good first. ‐ Yeah. It's all on you, Dot.
[inhale] [squeak]
‐ Maybe something reminiscent of the first season?
‐ But modern to show that we're not your dad's Animaniacs.
‐ But, not so modern that you'll alienate the dads
because they're a key part of our demographic.
[inhale] Don't overthink it.
[growl, yell]
‐ 22 years later, and I'm still a knockout.
[heavenly music] [gasp]
[wind blowing]
[squeaking, popping]
ALL: Whoa!
‐ I can't believe it's been 22 years!
♪
[birds squawking] [glistening sound]
[laughing]
[shutter snap]
[gasp]
[smack] [Wilhelm scream]
[hitting] [yelling]
[bang] [scream]
[laughing]
[$6 Million Man sound effect]
Our home sweet home!
[thunk]
[grunt]
[banging] [straining]
♪
[clanging]
[woozy sound] ‐ Oh, right!
It's a pull, not a push.
[faint] [creak]
It's just how I remember!
‐ Well... almost.
♪
[lasers humming]
‐ My sandwich!
♪ triumphant music ♪
[fly buzzing]
Just where I left it.
♪
[tiptoeing]
BOTH: Ooh!
[jet sound]
[flames crackling]
Ah!
[crunch, squish]
[both gasp]
[splat]
[both sigh]
22 years and five second rule! [chomp]
[chopping lasers]
[alarm blaring]
‐ Why did you trip the alarm after that elaborate laser dance?
‐ What lasers? That was my sandwich dance.
[gulp]
ALARM: Initiating Warners capture sequence.
‐ We're caught! ‐ We're doomed!
‐ This is the shortest‐lived reboot ever!
[screaming]
‐ What dummy thought that would work?
♪
ALL: Helllloooo Ralph!
[splat, plate shattering]
‐ Aww.
I've missed those beautiful yellow eyes.
‐ G‐‐ ‐ Uhb‐bup‐bup!
We're doing this thing where we don't waste our first lines.
‐ Make sure it's funny!
‐ And something that really captures the intricacies of your character,
for old and new fans alike.
‐ Duh... ALL: Perfect!
[Ralph grumbling, growling]
♪
‐ Gotcha!
[whirring]
‐ What is that thing?
‐ Why, it's a... uh...
um, clone!
No, uh, uh, phone.
Uh, no, a drone! That's it. It's a drone.
Hey! [straining]
That's it! You're taking me to the boss' office!
‐ Katie!
Is today a micro‐dose day?
Ah, macro‐dose. Right.
♪
[smash] [laugh]
‐ I got 'em, I got 'em!
‐ A female CEO?
Any interest in mentoring a young, future CEO?
‐ No. I'm a firm believer in pulling up the ladder behind me.
[smash] Ralph, what are these things!?
‐ Yeah, Ralphie. What are we?
‐ Answer the woman!
‐ Duh...
These are the Warner brothers.
[drone buzzing]
‐ And the‐‐ CEO: Warner Sister. Yes, I know.
It's all right here.
[beep]
‐ What's that?
‐ Oh, that's right.
You're from the '90s.
This is a tablet.
It contains the sum of all human knowledge.
‐ All human knowledge in one easy to swallow tablet?
Don't mind if I do.
[splash, swallow] [glass shatters]
[belch]
‐ Hey! I'm the eating‐stuff guy!
[zapping] [vocalizing]
♪
[beeping]
[jabbering]
[dizzy groaning]
‐ Quantum mechanics,
quinoa wraps,
Queen Bey!
We've missed so much...
But now...
I know everything! ♪ triumphant music ♪
[birds cooing]
About the last 22 years.
‐ Tell us! Oh, tell us!
‐ Ugh. Please do this somewhere else.
‐ But then you'll miss the song!
[zip] [shatter]
♪
‐ You see...
♪ Taxis are Ubers, the stars are YouTubers ♪
♪ Neil Tyson gave Pluto the axe ♪
♪ Cell phones got smarter, the oceans got hotter ♪
♪ The global economy collapsed ♪
♪ We get internet deals on our hyphenate meals ♪
♪ Like cage‐free, vegan‐paleo sausage ♪
♪ We don't leave our homes thanks to Amazon drones ♪
♪ They track what we do through our watches ♪
ALL: ♪ What's going on? Will we be okay? ♪
♪ Has it all gone mad since we went away? ♪
♪ Oh, update us, please, and put as at ease ♪
♪ 'Cause we've run out of jokes ♪
♪ About the '90s! ♪
♪ sax solo ♪
YAKKO: ♪ Al Gore lost bad 'cause of one hanging chad ♪
♪ Dubya hunted for WMDs ♪
♪ Obama brought hope, so Clinton thought, "Dope! ♪
♪ 2016 should be a real breeze" ♪
‐ So, Hillary finally broke that glass ceiling?
‐ No, but it certainly does feel like it's raining shards of glass all around us.
♪ The country's cut into two ♪
♪ The red and the blue, Facebook's a toxic waste dump ♪
♪ The Fox Friends are doting, the Russians are voting ♪
♪ And now there's a President Trump... ♪
At least, we think there's still a President Trump.
You see, the writers are writing this in 2018.
‐ How is that possible? The people rely on Animaniacs
for outrageous and relevant content.
‐ Well, how can we finish catching up
when we don't know what happened in the last two years?
‐ I don't know, wild guesses? ‐ Sounds good to me!
YAKKO: ♪ We have chips in our brains, we no longer feel pain ♪
♪ There are worsening climate disasters ♪
♪ Now we live underground, and we can't make a sound ♪
♪ Lest we anger our polar bear masters ♪
WAKKO: They've come south for revenge!
DOT: ♪ We breed birds without arms on our factory farms ♪
♪ And we live in aluminum bunkers ♪
♪ We sent humans to Mars, all the food comes in bars ♪
♪ And the top‐rated show is called Clunkers! ♪
‐ It's about a talking police car!
‐ Who's also a time machine!
‐ Wow! Here comes the star, Clunko!
‐ I travel through time, solving crime! [truck horn]
[smash] [laughter]
ALL: ♪ That's what's going on in the world today ♪
♪ It's as crazy now as when we went away ♪
♪ Our ratings depend on knowing the trends... ♪
♪ We're all caught up ♪
♪ That's how this song ends! ♪
[thunder clapping]
♪ Pinky and the Brain theme song playing ♪
‐ Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?
BRAIN: The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
[thunder clap]
♪
‐ ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ One is a genius ♪
♪ The other's insane ♪
♪ They're laboratory mice ♪
♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪
♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
♪
[slam]
♪
[typing] [TV static]
[studio audience laughter]
[laughing]
‐ I'm your host, Fred Bagel, but my friends call me Freddie,
and my ex‐wife doesn't call me at all. [laughter]
Now, for the week's best clips.
[bite, gulp, crystallizing] [audience gasps]
[whining, laughter] Oh, brother. Hot dog with brain freeze.
[laughing]
♪
‐ Pinky, I'd be worried this drivel is turning your mind soft,
but you can't mash what is already mush. ‐ Narf!
‐ Precisely. Turn that off!
‐ Oh, just one more minute, Brain, please?
America's Stupidest Pets is my favorite show!
[door bell]
[whip]
[audience gasps]
[audience laughter]
[laughing]
♪
[audience laughter]
‐ What is so funny?
‐ [laughing] These silly animals!
I can't get enough!
[sigh] I wish I could carry the television around with me
so I could watch it all the time. [laughing]
[audience laughter]
[Pinky laughing] ‐ That's it!
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
‐ I think so, Brain,
but if I clone myself,
how will I know which one to shoot when I turn evil?
‐ No, Pinky.
It's all so clear to me now! To take over the world,
we must give the people what they truly want!
‐ Okay, Brain. I'll do it,
but only if it's tasteful and makes sense for my character.
‐ Silence, Pinky! My work begins!
♪
AUTOMATED VOICE: If you'd like to make a call...
[phone ringing, dial‐up sound, beep]
‐ At last, Pinky,
my humble invention has finally come to fruition!
Behold! The age... of the internet!
[apps beeping] PINKY: That's nice, Brain.
I've spent the last 22 years undergoing rigorous psychotherapy,
and realized that our codependent relationship
isn't based on a shared desire to conquer the world,
but rather my enabling of your systematic emotional and physical abuse.
‐ Quiet, you nincompoop!
‐ Righto! [laugh] I deserve that!
‐ The internet is the most powerful
information sharing tool ever devised!
And do you know what most humans use it for?
‐ I do, but I don't think I can say it.
‐ Surprisingly no, Pinky. Watch closely.
[quacking] You see, humans are obsessed with cute, silly animals.
They can't look away.
[woman screaming]
Once they upload these adorable videos to the internet...
[beeping]
people around the world marvel at them.
♪
[laughing]
[launching] With their undivided attention,
they are the perfect unsuspecting pawns
for my master plan.
I will become the internet's cutest
and silliest animal!
Once I have the gaze of the world upon my endearing photograph,
I will activate this polarized subliminal filter,
and everyone will be under my control!
♪ hypnotic music ♪
‐ [robotic]: I'll do anything you tell me, Brain.
‐ Genius, is it not?
And all by manipulating the alpha waves of the human brain.
‐ There's a human you!?
[grunt, groan]
♪
BRAIN: Prepare yourself, Pinky.
Your heart is about to be warmed.
[rattling]
‐ Aw, it's baby Brain!
‐ Are you ready?
‐ Ready! And... action!
‐ Laugh now, for I am an adult mouse
costumed as a baby. ‐ And cut!
BRAIN: John‐Jacob, Jingleheimer, Schmidt‐‐
Ah. Mind Control.
[scrolling, beep]
♪
And now, we just sit back and relax
as the adoration pours in.
‐ Can do! [smack]
♪
[whirring]
[pop]
♪ happy sting ♪
♪ disappointed sting ♪
[audience laughter]
‐ Hey, I'm Seth Meyers,
and the reason this face is allowed on TV is
no one's watching anyway! [laughter]
And speaking of things that people pretend to watch but don't,
opera.
Please welcome the latest internet sensation, Opera Cat!
[cheering]
[sings opera]
[applause]
[laugh]
With a blonde wig like that,
you could be President. [rimshot]
You'll get it. I'll wait.
[silence]
[laughing]
‐ What does this animal have that I don't?
This mind control filter is never going to work
if nobody sees it! [grunt]
Whoa! Pinky!
Do something!
Andes! Alps! Adirondacks! No!
Not the Himalayas! Ah! [smack]
[screaming]
[post sound] Another plan foiled.
[sigh] Come, Pinky.
We must prepare for tomo‐‐ ‐ No, Brain, look!
‐ Not the Himalayas! Not the Himalayas!
Pinky! What have you done?
[popping]
‐ Brain, I think it's working!
[ding, whirring]
‐ [robotic]: Can we bring this up?
[smacking] ‐ Not the Himalayas! Not the Himalayas!
‐ I want that mouse on my show,
before one of the Jimmy's gets him.
[screech]
ALL [robotic]: L‐O‐L.
‐ L‐O‐L.
‐ Must obey. What Brain say.
Must obey...
‐ Egad, Brain!
‐ We've done it! We've really done it!
♪
‐ Still to come, celebrity trainers share their secrets
on getting back to your birth weight for summer.
But first, the Brain!
‐ The internet sensation has conquered our hearts,
and, seemingly, the world!
FEMALE CO‐HOST: This comes just days after the US government
agreed to add his lovable face to Mount Rushmore.
[crowd cheering] All hail the Brain!
‐ Yes! Praise him. BRAIN: Incredible, Pinky.
After 20 years of careful planning,
I've finally taken over the world!
Now, behold.
The coup de grace of my coup d'etat.
‐ Crab paté on your crudité? [laugh]
‐ No, Pinky.
The act that will forever cement my status
as popular internet meme slash dictator
for life! I am going to‐‐
‐ Uh, hi, excuse me. You're Himalayas Mouse, right?
‐ Of course. It is I, the Brain.
‐ Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, I remember that meme. Classic.
Listen, Mr. Meyers appreciates you coming by,
but unfortunately, we've had to bump you.
‐ Bump me? For who?
‐ Oh, okay, so his name is Business Pig. You know,
the pig who made the New York Swines' Top Boars Under Four.
I'm sorry. Do you even read the New York Swines?
[click]
[squealing] [buzzer]
[audience laughing]
‐ Hey, I know that pig!
I just shared a video of him this morning!
‐ Pinky, you puerile pustule,
you used my mind control filter!
[whirring] ‐ I like the swirls.
I think it's fun!
‐ [robotic]: Business Pig. Business Pig.
Business Pig.
PINKY: Whoa!
Brain? [Brain yelling]
[smack] [notification sound]
Oh! That's a great photo! So lifelike!
‐ Ring ring. [click]
‐ Hello, Brain's phone.
‐ May I speak with the imbecile who ruined my plan?
‐ That's me!
[Pinky grunts]
‐ Come, Pinky! Let us prepare for tomorrow night.
‐ What are we going to do tomorrow night?
‐ The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world!
‐ ♪ They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
♪
[whirring]
[cooler bubbling]
[whirring]
‐ Whoa! Star Trek is back?
‐ Uh, yeah!
‐ It's one of them reboots.
‐ It's a cost‐effective way to reintroduce IP
to a whole new generation.
‐ Or the "next generation,"
if I "make it so."
‐ [laugh] Set phasers to killing it!
‐ Looks like they're rebooting lots of shows.
[gasp] Charmed came back!
WAKKO: And the X‐Files!
YAKKO: Hey! Even Full House!
‐ They just bring back old shows now?
‐ I bet I could sing a bitingly satirical song about it.
‐ Didn't we just do that right before Pinky and the Brain?
‐ Uh uh uh!
We're also part of the age of reboots, sis.
We gotta do it again. [squeaking]
[scream]
[wind blowing]
‐ ♪ They ran out of ideas ♪
♪ For fresh new shows ♪
♪ So Hollywood did ♪
♪ The only thing it knows ♪
♪ Murphy Brown, Melrose Place ♪
♪ Gilmore Girls, Lost In Space ♪
♪ That's So Raven's what they're cravin' ♪
‐ ♪ I know that's a show worth savin'! ♪
‐ ♪ I vote X‐Files for a comeback ♪
‐ ♪ Duchovny's still a real snack ♪
‐ ♪ Would the Golden Girls be darker ♪
ALL: ♪ If we resurrect Bea Arthur? ♪
♪
♪ Reboot it, renew it ♪
♪ Reshoot it, redo it, and reuse it ♪
♪ Retool it, abuse it, just do it ♪
♪ If you wanna make some easy cash ♪
♪ Just recycle and rehash ♪
‐ ♪ Repeat it, reinstate it ♪
♪ Reheat it, recreate it,
♪ There's no need to feel frustrated ♪
♪ Simply just regurgitate it ♪
ALL: ♪ For a guaranteed ratings smash ♪
♪ Dig it up out of the trash ♪
♪ Come on, just reboot it! ♪
♪
‐ ♪ Will and Grace and Dynasty ♪
♪ Sweet 16 on MTV ♪
‐ ♪ Blue's Clues, Twin Peaks , and Fargo ♪
♪ Go Catch Carmen San Di‐ago ♪
‐ ♪ Just relax and take the flak ♪
♪ If people want it, bring it back! ♪
♪ Looney Tunes, Queer Eye, and DuckTales ♪
♪ Just reboot it 'cause it sells! ♪
‐ ♪ Take something foreign, then translate it ♪
♪ Shamelessly appropriate it ♪
♪ Even if the old fans hate it ♪
ALL: ♪ Get the script rights cleared! ♪
‐ ♪ You've done sequels, try for prequels ♪
‐ ♪ Think of all the streams that equals utilizing these techniques will ♪
BOTH: ♪ Make your shows revered ♪
♪ Shows revered! ♪
ALL: ♪ Reboot it, renew it ♪
♪ Reshoot it, redo it, and reuse it ♪
♪ Retool it, abuse it, just do it! ♪
♪ If you wanna make some easy cash, just recycle and rehash ♪
♪ Repeat it, reinstate it ♪
♪ Reheat it, recreate it! ♪
♪ There's no need to feel frustrated, simply just regurgitate it ♪
♪ For a guaranteed ratings smash ♪
♪ Dig it up out of the trash ♪
♪ Come on, just reboot it! ♪
♪
‐ Hello. I'm Yakko Warner,
and all joking aside, reboots are symptomatic
of a fundamental lack of originality in Hollywood.
A creativity crisis fueled by
terrified executives clinging to the past like...
rats to the debris of a sinking ship.
‐ Yeah. Have you no shame?
HULU EXECUTIVE: Here's your check for the Animaniacs reboot, you sellouts!
[smash]
‐ Yeah, but when we sellout,
we know we're selling out, so it's cool.
♪