1 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,880 ♪ CHELSEA JANE: Flexin' 2 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,140 (SINGS SILENTLY) 3 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,320 (URINATES) 4 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,140 - I need carbs. - Oh, fuck! 5 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:42,900 - Stevie! - Hmm? 6 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,860 I'm not used to this arrangement. 7 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,500 Do you sit down to pee? 8 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,660 I don't want to turn my back to possible intruders. 9 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,760 (STEVIE GROANS) 10 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,300 Alcohol is a poison. 11 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,860 We can kid ourselves all we like, 12 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,980 but we're poisoning ourselves. 13 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,980 I requested a high-def image just to slow down the process. 14 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:06,180 Yeah, a few more of these 15 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,300 and Henry's gonna have to go to court. 16 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,660 I am pretty proud of myself, to be honest. 17 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,300 What you're doing is not healthy. 18 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,020 All I'm trying to do is throw his finances out a bit, OK? 19 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,780 And if he happens to lose his licence, 20 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,180 well, that's that motherfucker's fault. 21 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,420 Please, AJ. Please, honey. 22 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:26,640 I have been poisoned and the only cure is chips. 23 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,100 This is vomit. 24 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,980 Liv is not in the passenger seat! 25 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,500 Can you take me to chips? 26 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,600 Alright. 27 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,300 - Chippy time. - Chippy time now? 28 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,420 But I need to do a number two first. 29 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,620 You're gonna use that for a while, hey? 30 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:48,460 Yeah. 31 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,880 OK, I'll just take my bag again. 32 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,300 (MUSIC RESUMES) 33 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,760 (SINGS) 34 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,480 STEVIE: You've never met her before? 35 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,340 AJ: No. She just slid into my DM, said she wants to meet up 36 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,820 and pretend like we're strangers. 37 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,920 She's a freak! 38 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,660 But, like, she knows what she wants. 39 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:13,900 I respect that. 40 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,260 - She's clearly joking. - No, no, she's not. 41 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,260 She wants a stranger fantasy. You give her a stranger fantasy. 42 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,940 What? I failed drama in Year 12. 43 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,456 I can't just act like a stranger in front of someone I never met. 44 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,620 Oh, too much talk, mate, and not enough action. 45 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,720 That's your problem. 46 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,460 What's your fantasy? 47 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,420 - You know what I'd really like? - What? 48 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,740 Normal sex. 49 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,820 Eugh! That is really gross. 50 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,200 That's, like, the grossest thing you've ever said. 51 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,700 My fantasy... 52 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:46,380 My fantasy is that, like, I find out I'm actually a supermodel 53 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,880 but I've got this condition where I can't see it. 54 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,300 - Oh. - (THUD!) 55 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,400 Sorry. 56 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,020 OK, you've got to take that back. 57 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,580 No, no, no! No, I love this! 58 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,060 If I get off this scooter, I will... I'll actually die. 59 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,340 Is that what you want? 60 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,940 No, I can already hear the screams 61 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,416 of the kid you're about to run over. 62 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,300 Just take it back. 63 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,840 I'll get whatever you need from the chemist. 64 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,100 - Oh, no! - What? 65 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,940 - Not again, Stevie! - Don't be so presumptuous. 66 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,420 No. 67 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,740 But yes. 68 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,620 There was an accident last night. 69 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:20,900 Yeah, it's not an accident 70 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,100 if it happens every second weekend, OK? 71 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,680 I'm pretty sure when the Titanic sank, 72 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,320 they had a good hard look at their safety procedures. 73 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,900 (CLEARS THROAT) Hey. 74 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,340 - Hi. - Oh. 75 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,460 You look really familiar. 76 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,900 - Oh. - Have we...? 77 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,980 I think I have that sort of face. 78 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,660 I kind of look like everyone. 79 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,580 Even your face is 10% mine. 80 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,660 - Huh. - Maybe I've served you before. 81 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,020 Oh, no, I don't think so. 82 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,260 I normally go to that big warehouse on King Street. 83 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,340 It's just, like, heaps cheaper. 84 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,660 And also, the make-up's in more of a discreet location 85 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,000 so I can test all the products 86 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,300 without getting judgement from you guys. 87 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,300 We don't judge. 88 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,420 Look, quick gear change - the morning-after pill. 89 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,320 Oh, right. Just wait here a moment - I'll be right back. 90 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,560 (UPBEAT MUSIC APPROACHES) 91 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,320 Gee, you're boring. 92 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,000 (LAUGHS) Poor fella. 93 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,820 So, uh, have you taken this before? 94 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,540 Oh... 95 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,820 Just... once. Once or twice, I think. 96 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,020 I mean... 97 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,340 Yep. And, uh, when was the intercourse? 98 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,780 This morning. 99 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,940 And my best guess, maybe some last night. 100 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,860 Could have just been a blow job. 101 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,780 And when was your last period? 102 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:08,340 - Two weeks ago. - OK. 103 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,460 So, just so you know, your next bleed might be a little... 104 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,080 - Heavy, yep. - ..heavier or lighter... 105 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,620 ..just depending on how that goes. 106 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,780 If you take this on a full stomach, 107 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,700 might experience a bit of cramping, 108 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,260 bit of nausea, that sort of thing. 109 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,360 Yeah, cool. 110 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,540 I always experience nausea after eating. 111 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,940 It's the only thing that's like, "Stop!" 112 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,320 (BOTH GIGGLE NERVOUSLY) 113 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,300 - Thank you. - Thank you. 114 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,500 Hey, uh... 115 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,340 Do you think it'd be OK with you... 116 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,620 ..maybe if I got your phone number? 117 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,540 - Oh. - I'd love to hang out sometime. 118 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,260 Get some dinner, feel nauseous together? 119 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:47,860 (LAUGHS) 120 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,960 I could give you mine. 121 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,380 I'm sorry. 122 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,260 I've completely misread this situation, haven't I? 123 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,460 I don't know. 124 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,100 How did you see this playing out? It's... 125 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,220 Would it have been better or worse 126 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,900 if I'd put my number on the box? 127 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,100 Better! It would have been much better. 128 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,840 - Better. - Just pop it on the bag. 129 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,820 I'm Stevie. 130 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,020 It's Tim. 131 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,120 Tim. 132 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,860 - There you go, Stevie. - Yeah, cool. 133 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,960 Cool. 134 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,420 Oh, he's a freak. 135 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,980 Please, AJ, can I have that back? I can't walk. 136 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,416 Guarantee he does this to every girl 137 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:31,776 who asks for the morning-after pill. 138 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,780 He's thinking, "Oh, here's a young woman 139 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,040 "who's had a one-night stand, 140 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,940 "who's been left to figure it out all alone. Boo-hoo." 141 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,580 Please. I actually enjoy buying the pill by myself. 142 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,040 It's just that the guy has to pay for it. 143 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,340 Wait, does the guy pay for it? 144 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,620 What?! Yes, you loser! 145 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,420 You cannot just jizz in a girl 146 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,020 and then expect her to pay for it. 147 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,900 You have to at least pay half. 148 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,060 Oh, you are so lucky to have me. 149 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,620 I told the guy this morning that this thing costs 70 bucks. 150 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,580 70 bucks. I literally just made money. 151 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,140 You're a little entrepreneur. 152 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,320 You keep getting jizzed in, 153 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,020 you might be able to pay rent this week. 154 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,140 Yeah, alright, mate. 155 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,660 Can you imagine the kind of drugs, though, 156 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,420 that a pharmacist has access to? 157 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,260 I can imagine one of the drugs that freak has access to, yes. 158 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:18,880 Don't deflect the focus from your freak 159 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,360 by pointing the finger at my freak. 160 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,420 At least he's putting himself out there 161 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:23,860 and he's taking some risks. 162 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,460 Hey, hey! I take risks. 163 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,560 I live with you. 164 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,720 Later, sucker. 165 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,080 AJ: So I've recently encountered someone with a stranger fantasy. 166 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,760 SAM: Like, when you meet up with someone 167 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,000 but pretend you're strangers? 168 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:50,700 AJ: Yes. OK, so I want you to text in what gets you off. 169 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,300 SAM: Uh, we're gonna regret this. 170 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,420 Well, Sam, I don't know what you get up to, my friend, 171 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,020 but if we're talking sexual fantasies, I'll find out yours. 172 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,940 I reckon you got cactuses in your bedside table and shit. 173 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,040 It's cacti. 174 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,020 But look, anyway, it's time for some music here on Fade FM. 175 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,900 You're with Sam and AJ. 176 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,540 - Oh. - (MUSIC PLAYS) 177 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,100 Nooo! 178 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,020 Don't send us your feet! Eugh! 179 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,180 Feet are the grossest part of the body. 180 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,460 I will lick a hundred buttholes before I even look at a toe. 181 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,780 Hey... what would you wear on a date, Sammy boy? 182 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,500 You're actually nervous about this date! 183 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,820 Listen. 184 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:29,580 Liv and I got fucked up on boxed wine and that was it. 185 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,620 So you've never been on a date, then? 186 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,020 Bro, I'm 31 years old. 187 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,616 Our listeners are gonna flip over this. 188 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,300 - They're gonna be like... - No! 189 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,580 ..31-year-old AJ Amon 190 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,340 - No! - ..has never been on a date. 191 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,980 We'll make a Tinder profile of it. 192 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,940 No, and we'll get marketing to do it all up 193 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,440 - so if they match with you... - No. 194 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:46,900 ..then they can win a chance to... 195 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,500 - OK. - ..break your date virginity! 196 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,700 Oh, yeah, alright. That sounds like a great idea. 197 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,460 Or what if I tell everyone 198 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,620 how much you love sucking on stanky-ass toes 199 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,660 and we can watch those photos roll on in all morning 200 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,580 - for the rest of the week. - Blargh! 201 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:04,980 You've changed, you know? You used to do anything for ratings. 202 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,980 - Now you're just... - I have. I've changed. 203 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,220 - Oh, boy. - By the way, before we start... 204 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,880 ..what is your actual fantasy? Come on. 205 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,600 I don't have a fantasy, AJ. I've got a child. 206 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,640 (BICYCLE BELL RINGS) 207 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,060 If that's not the new Amy Wade album, 208 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,360 I'm going to be very disappointed. 209 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,580 Sorry. I'm not normally in the studio this late. 210 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,936 I thought this place did dinner, 211 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,040 but I think we're gonna have to head to your side. 212 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,340 Do I know you? 213 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,480 What, is my profile pic really that old? 214 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,580 Oh, my god. 215 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:57,160 Please tell me I haven't just approached the wrong brown guy. 216 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,060 AJ! From Fade FM! 217 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,640 I don't know what he's talking about. 218 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:06,900 AJ! 219 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,700 I'm not AJ. 220 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,180 Uh, you're AJ. 221 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,820 I am NOT AJ. 222 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,100 I'm just waiting for a friend. 223 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,800 Yeah... I'm that friend. 224 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:24,940 I don't know... who... you... are. 225 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:29,340 That's... what... dates... are... for. 226 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,440 It's fuckin' AJ! 227 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,700 You're a snobby cunt. 228 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,660 I get it. 229 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,300 Yeah, I've been stood up before but this is really harsh. 230 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,780 No! You're not getting it. 231 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,200 We... we're strangers. 232 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,420 Strangers! 233 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,100 - I don't know you! Strangers. - Oh, that! 234 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,340 - Yes! - No, I was just joking. 235 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,060 Oh. 236 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,780 Hang on, are you really into clown sex? 237 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,820 Oh, you would be, you sick fuck. 238 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,780 I'm telling all the boys at work. 239 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,920 No, don't... 240 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,220 Jesus Christ! Quickly, quickly, come... come with me! 241 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,420 - (SHE LAUGHS) - Fuck! 242 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,980 Down, down, down. Get down! 243 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,900 This is, um... hot! 244 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,060 Did he see me? 245 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,660 - Oh. - Shh! 246 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,620 Yeah, I actually know that guy. 247 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,500 - Henry? - Yeah... yeah. 248 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,820 Henry. 249 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,900 - He's, um... he's my boyfriend. - No, no, no. 250 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,580 Listen to me, OK? He's my... We used to be best friends. 251 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,360 He fucked my girlfriend... ex-girlfriend. 252 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,180 - Yeah. - Fuck! 253 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,900 He must have finally quit the old place to work here. 254 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,000 Fucking wanker. 255 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,060 WOMAN: God, you're really getting into this. 256 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,340 - I'm gonna call him over. - No, no! Don't. 257 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,020 - God, no. Please. - Oh, come on! 258 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,580 Please, please, please, Odessa! I'm begging you, please. 259 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,260 Whoops. 260 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,260 You just said my name. 261 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,360 Fantasy over. 262 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,740 What are we gonna do? Tacos? Thai food? 263 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,960 - What? - We need to get out of here. 264 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,540 - LIV: Oh, he's a cute prick. - STEVIE: Totally. 265 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,340 Ask for the morning-after pill and see what happens, OK? 266 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,900 Got it? 267 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,660 Oh, wait. 268 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,580 What if he asks for my number? 269 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,720 Oh, just go for it, babe. 270 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,340 Oh... what if he doesn't? 271 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,820 Um, like, just buy the pill anyway. 272 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,020 I'll probably just... I'll use it another time. 273 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,120 OK. 274 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,420 OK, Terry. 275 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,900 Now, you need to take this once a day on an empty stomach... 276 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,340 - Hey. - ..at least 30 minutes... 277 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,060 Be with you in a second. 278 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,940 TIM: If you forget to take one of these, 279 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,320 you have to take it immediately. 280 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,820 I've written those instructions on there for you. 281 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,300 Some people do experience a little bit of diarrhoea 282 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,540 and vomiting, nausea, that kind of thing. 283 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,500 If you experience any of those things, just because of your age 284 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,260 I think you should see Dr Barry immediately. 285 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,680 Similarly if you're getting swelling of the hands and feet. 286 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,420 - No luck from me. - (GASPS) Really? 287 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:50,080 I knew it! Suck shit, AJ. 288 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,740 I might fly home the other way - 289 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,820 stop in New York, eat a real Reuben. 290 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,100 Is it crazy to fly across the world for a sandwich? 291 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,200 No. 292 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,960 Girl I know from work - she flew to Thailand 293 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,380 just for a healing crystal. 294 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,220 Now she's dating this guy who has, like, no mates 295 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,420 so he gives her heaps of attention. 296 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,300 What's the opposite of a crystal? 297 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,340 Like, an old nanna ball of rubber bands? 298 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,180 I'll have me one of those, thanks. 299 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,500 God. OK, that's it. 300 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,380 Tonight we're gonna go to the movies, 301 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,180 but, like, pre-drinks at mine. 302 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,500 And we can talk about all the people we hate. 303 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,860 - Ooh, is AJ not at home? - Nah, he's on a d... 304 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,220 Um, he's just out with friends. 305 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,020 No. Oh, my god. 306 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,900 Just the thought of going on a date 307 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,740 makes me want to do a beer bong. 308 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,760 AJ must be absolutely trashed. 309 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,820 AJ: So, is teaching the goal? 310 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,620 ODESSA: No. Teaching pays. 311 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,940 But, you know, if I could choreograph for Broadway 312 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,980 or, I don't know, Melbourne Ballet Company, 313 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,540 that's the dream. 314 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,580 But I work with an amazing group of students 315 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,736 who make it all worthwhile. 316 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:05,980 I reckon dancing is my worst fear. 317 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,660 Like, people think I can dance 'cause I'm black, 318 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,660 and then I can't and everyone just gets disappointed. 319 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,060 I'm just super suspicious of anyone who doesn't love dancing. 320 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:19,620 I am the same about people who don't drink. 321 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,720 Mmm. 322 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000 You don't drink? 323 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,520 - Don't drink. - At all? 324 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,780 Hmm. 325 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:33,940 OK. 326 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,260 No, no, no, go ahead. I know you like it. 327 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,540 Nah, it's an act for radio. 328 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,640 Oh. 329 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,240 So every time you dance, you're sober? 330 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,520 That's... 331 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,420 Wow. Wow. 332 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,280 Yeah. It's kind of wow. 333 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,420 STEVIE: Hey, they're yours, babe. 334 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,000 - Hmm? - The mail. 335 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,260 I know, I know. I'm not supposed to be here. 336 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,740 I've literally been in her ear for hours 337 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,380 about missing the previews. 338 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,020 - Where'd you get those? - That's her mail, you freak. 339 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,860 Well, I'm... Can I... Can I please just have a look? 340 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,580 - No, seriously. - Oh, oh, oh! 341 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,860 (SNIFFS) Why do you smell of food? 342 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,696 Can I just have a look at the letters, please? 343 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,180 Oh, my god. Did you just go out and not drink? 344 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,020 - (DOOR CLOSES) - Sorry, had to take that. 345 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,100 AJ: No, um... 346 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,140 Odessa, this is my flatmate Stevie. 347 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,980 - Hi. - Hi. 348 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,700 And Stevie's friend... Olivia. 349 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,800 Hi! 350 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,720 Olivia. Yes. 351 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,660 Yes. We were just gonna... 352 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:01,820 ..camp out here and watch all seven Police Academy films. 353 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,060 Fun! (LAUGHS) 354 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,360 Uh, we're going. Come on, we're going. 355 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,560 Nice to meet you. 356 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,600 - Bye. - Bye! 357 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,860 - Perfect timing. - Yeah. 358 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,260 Yeah. 359 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:23,940 There was a lot of onion in that pho. 360 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,120 In the... pho? 361 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,460 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah, but... 362 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,380 There was a lot and I'm paranoid. 363 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,100 - I need to brush my teeth. - I don't care. 364 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,420 Uh... I do. 365 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,900 Yeah, but if you brush and I don't brush, 366 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,920 then you're all minty fresh and my breath is doomed. 367 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,920 Let's brush. 368 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:49,820 - This is weirdly relaxing. - Yeah? 369 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,920 (CHUCKLES) 370 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,060 Oh, busted. 371 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,780 How much? 372 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,060 Oh, uh... that is... That's not mine. 373 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,460 Oh, Henry? 374 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,620 - Don't worry about it. - OK. 375 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,420 You mean, like, Henry from today? 376 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,040 - Take... take this off. - OK. 377 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,220 Hang on, was all that stuff true? 378 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,000 Don't... worry about it. 379 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,580 Oh, my god. Doing this sober is fucking awesome. 380 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,280 Fuck! I'm even gonna remember it. 381 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,020 - (THUD!) - Ow! 382 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,540 - Fuck! - Oh, my god. 383 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,620 - Are you OK? - Um... 384 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,500 - Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. - No, no, no, it's alright. 385 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,420 I think it sounded worse than it was. 386 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,980 Fuck! I'm so sorry. I was just trying to... 387 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,540 I wanted to have normal sex. 388 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,160 Just shut up and put your mouth on my face. 389 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,740 - Oh, do you know what? - What? 390 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,020 - That's blood. - What?! 391 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,120 Yeah, that's blood. 392 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,420 - Oh, fuck. - Oh, Jesus. 393 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,060 Oh, god. Yeah, yeah. Fuck. 394 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,180 - I'm so sorry. - It's OK. 395 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,700 Fuck! 396 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,300 Here. I-I didn't mean to do that. 397 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,460 Yeah. That would be pretty elaborate. 398 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,460 - Fuck. Are you OK? - Yeah. Um... 399 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,820 Can we just chill here for 10 minutes? 400 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,620 - Yeah... - We'll see how it goes. 401 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,220 No, look, you know, I think I'm gonna go. 402 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,700 Let's call it a night. I'm sorry. 403 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,180 No! I'm... I'm fucking sorry. 404 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,640 Jesus, you've been amazing and I'm an idiot. 405 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,340 Unless... 406 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,440 What if... 407 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,820 What if...? 408 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:45,440 ..you just stand there, and I... 409 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,720 ..jerk off? 410 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,260 You're the freak! 411 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,020 Pharmacist Tim looks pretty normal now. 412 00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,220 Liv killed me last night. 413 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,380 There was mail for Henry in those letters, right? 414 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,980 So? She'll learn his bank balance. Big deal. 415 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,380 No! 416 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,780 She's gonna do the right thing and give them back to him. 417 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,780 No, she'll return to sender or something. Calm down. 418 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,420 No, she's gonna take the letters to his cafe 419 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,740 and then he's gonna make her a soy flattie with one 420 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,260 and then it's gonna be on all night, boom-boom. 421 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:22,480 I was about to have my first sober night in two months 422 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,260 till I started freaking out about that. 423 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,060 You can talk! Imagine how Liv felt 424 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,220 with you waltzing on in here with some Facebook lunatic. 425 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,560 It's my house, Stevie! I can waltz wherever I want. 426 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,660 - Oh, do you have a sore head? - Yes. 427 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,640 Can I just stand here and jerk off for a while? 428 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,060 Is that alright? 429 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,500 Is that OK, if I just stand here 430 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,540 and jerk off for a - pfffft! - While? 431 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,640 Creep. 432 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,060 And do not even think about going to that cafe 433 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,420 and waiting for Liv, you fucking stalker! 434 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,520 (DOOR SLAMS) 435 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,060 Medically speaking, I'm actually... I'm pretty healthy. 436 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,540 Although my mum did think that I had this thyroid disease 437 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,860 that a lot of women in our family have, 438 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,700 and she told me some of the symptoms. 439 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:20,420 It was, like, weight fluctuation and irritability 440 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,340 and rudeness. 441 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,820 Anyway, went to the doctor. 442 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,500 Turns out I'm fine. 443 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,660 I'm just a bit of a cunt who eats too much. 444 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,760 (LAUGHS) 445 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,540 I think you seem great. 446 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,140 Oh! 447 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,600 Thank you. 448 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,260 Oh, sorry. 449 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:08,420 So, um, do you go out much? 450 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,460 If my friends are in town. 451 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,860 I haven't met many people, except from work. 452 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,060 So, like, do you and your pharmacist buddies, 453 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,700 when you go out, 454 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:22,280 do you, like, whip up any of your own kind of... 455 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,180 ..cocktails? 456 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,280 I mainly drink beer. 457 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,040 Mmm. 458 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,260 Gimme the drugs! 459 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:39,160 (LAUGHS DRUNKENLY) 460 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,520 Well, I studied four years at university, so I... 461 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,840 No. Never. 462 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,800 Oh. Pfft. 463 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,100 You don't have to... 464 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:04,660 ..like, act all holier than... holier than thou. 465 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,940 You know, when you point the finger like that, 466 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,660 there's one finger pointing forward and three pointing back. 467 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,440 Is that right? Yeah, one, two, three. Pow! 468 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,860 There was something about you that I really liked. 469 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,120 A lack of pretension, I thought. 470 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:30,000 And I don't take many chances in life, so... 471 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,420 Oh, you're sad. 472 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:39,660 No, no, no. I'm not a bad person. 473 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,500 I'm not. It's prob... 474 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,780 It's probably just the thyroid. 475 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,000 It's not the thyroid. 476 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,840 Boo! 477 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,380 Hi. 478 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,060 Did you just say "Boo"? 479 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,100 Oh, am I actually a ghost? 480 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,300 Oh, did I actually die that night? 481 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,940 - Yeah... - Yeah. 482 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,320 Fuck, that was, like... 483 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,620 - I'm an idiot. - Mmm. 484 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,180 Did you end up, um... 485 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,940 ..you know, jerking off? 486 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,880 What? Oh, no! No. 487 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,680 Well, not straightaway, anyway. 488 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,500 Uh, listen. 489 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,220 I really want to make it up to you - 490 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,980 prove that I'm kind of normal. 491 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:51,140 Uh... 492 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,940 I think we should just be friends, AJ. 493 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,500 I want to dance. 494 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:58,700 What? 495 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,160 I need to dance. 496 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,120 ♪ WIZARDZ OF OZ: Million Dollar Life 497 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:31,460 What type of black are you? 498 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:32,800 Gerry, that's not the best way 499 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,520 to ask someone where they're from, mate. 500 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,840 Scram, Gerry. Kind of busy here. 501 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,380 You're not very good at dancing. 502 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,900 I've just got a bit too much soul for you to handle, man. 503 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:45,900 Alright? 504 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,340 Whoa. 505 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:48,300 (MUSIC STOPS) 506 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,380 Too much soul? 507 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:51,700 Really? 508 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:52,900 No, no... 509 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,500 So, guys, not sure if you know 510 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,340 but our special guest AJ here is from the radio, 511 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:58,660 so he's really into music. 512 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,900 And he wants to do a solo performance for us. 513 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,260 - Oh... no! - Yeah. 514 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:07,100 No, I don't want to interrupt this! 515 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,660 My... my stomach is a bit sore. 516 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,300 Oh. 'Cause my head's a bit sore. 517 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,980 - Who wants to see AJ dance? - STUDENTS: Yeah! 518 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,860 - ALL: Dance! Dance! - No! 519 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:18,960 No. 520 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,260 Don't waste my time, AJ. 521 00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:26,040 Either dance or get out of the class. 522 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,660 OK! OK. 523 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,600 I'll do it. I'll dance. 524 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,200 (MUSIC RESUMES) 525 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,380 Hurry up. 526 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:52,080 Just give me a minute, Gerry. 527 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,500 Yes! 528 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,880 Yeeeesss! 529 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,700 Hey, guys, it's been real. 530 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,300 But I have an early morning. You know how it is. 531 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,820 - We'll talk? - Absolutely not. 532 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,380 OK. 533 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,940 Your dancing sucks, AJ. 534 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,620 Oh. Oh, yeah? 535 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,860 Yeah? What about this move? 536 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,620 Fuck you, Gerry. 537 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:58,940 Ha! 538 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,440 ALL: Ehhh! 539 00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:05,200 Yeah, fair enough.