Woo. Woo.
Woo, woo.
Yeah.
Listen up, are you ready?
Yeah.
Listen, this is bigger than Monday night football,
the Oscars, the Superbowl.
You are all about to be Bukkake boys tonight.
All right, so bring it in and let me hear it,
let me hear it loud.
Ready?
Bukkake.
Bukkake, Bukkake, Bukkake, Bukkake,
Bukkake.
Everybody, I want to introduce you to Treasure.
The world famous Treasure.
You will be cumming on her face today.
Treasure, meet the Bukkake boys.
I want you to cover Treasure's entire face
with your jiz.
I don't want to see her eyes,
I don't want to see her nose,
I don't want to see her mouth by the time this
thing's over.
She's gonna be glistening like a glazed donut.
Are we clear on that?
Yeah.
We shoot for the forehead.
All right, let's get this thing set up and let's go for it.
Come on, Driver, if you can't cum,
go in the corner and beat off.
Forget about him.
Relax, dude.
Massage your shaft at the base,
then clear your mind.
She loves it.
She needs it.
Explode on her.
Driven.
Yeah.
Good job.
Now go to the showers.
Take them to the shower, Eric.
Eric, take somebody to the showers.
All right, tomorrow, so, we're back in action.
Back in action.
About time.
Nice work in there, boys.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks.
Eric Long, director, owner of Ultima DVD.
Yeah.
Down here doing a little chicken hawking,
you know, checking out the talent.
Do I know you?
Have we met?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm, um, I'm Tom.
Tom Dong.
It's... I'm honored you remembered.
I, uh, I helped hook up some of your
computer stuff last year.
Right, yeah, Tom Dong.
I, I'm Steve Driver.
That's, that's the name I use.
Okay.
Is that smell you?
So, uh, Tom, we're looking for a little help
over at Ultima.
Uh, no talent stuff, but, um,
web management, some site building.
So, uh, think about it. Sure.
Would you?
You got another one of those?
Yeah, I think I do.
There you go.
Hey baby, do you have a towel?
Oh, you look perfect just the way you are.
We'll wipe you down, talk a little business,
how about it?
So hey, uh, thanks for, for your,
you, you know.
Oh no. You know.
We all need help relaxing at a Bukkake sometimes.
Uh, do you need a ride?
Um...
Uh, that's, that's me, that's me over there.
Uh, you know what, I yelled Driven 'cause of my name, right?
- Y... yeah, I got it. - Huh?
It's Japanese for I love pussy.
Uh, I'm Chinese.
But I can't speak it.
Ah, shit man.
Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I sh... fuck,
I should have known that, you know.
I love Asians. Asian culture.
You know, I come from a long line of warriors myself.
Oh, let me just get that for you.
Oh, it's, it's good.
Uh, I...
Let me... I just s...
S... you know, some space for your leg.
There.
You in?
Thank you.
Ah shit, oh sorry.
No, it's, it's all good.
What is this?
It's porno.
Pornography.
I, I, I know, where did you get it?
All right, I found it in a bin at a convention.
I, I got the first six in here somewhere.
The, the director, Stony Deep,
did a bunch of different series of anal videos and he
called them his...
His butt cycle.
You know the cycle?
I love the cycle.
You know, I've never met anyone else who knew about it.
What else you got?
Oh , man.
Caught from Behind Three, one of my favorites ever.
Holy shit.
Such an awesome video. Three and four.
Yeah. Such a good series.
Especially for anal. Especially for anal, right?
It's like artful anal, but like shot on VHS.
Okay, okay.
Moment of truth.
Do you like the Hedgehog?
Ron Jeremy?
Ah, actor, no.
Director, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
Hell yes.
Do you like video games?
I could tell you some things,
man, and I've done my research.
There aren't good roles for Asian-American men.
Just stereotypes, lazy shit.
I don't know, maybe I was crazy,
but I thought I got to fix that.
You dipshits been up all night?
This is my roommate, Doug.
If by roommate you mean I let you rent my couch for
275 a month, then yeah, hey, roomie.
Are you in the adult film industry too, huh?
Yeah. Yeah?
Little Tom here tell you he quit his IT gig making 100
grand a year to do porn?
That's what you want to call it, right?
Getting paid 40 bucks to gang bang some
Herpes-riddled slut.
I'm okay.
It's gonna pay off when my big chance comes.
I just got to be patient.
Okay.
All right, uh, what do you call your stinky friend
here, huh?
Me?
Yeah.
I can smell you from here, man.
I'm Steve Driver.
Steve, all right, uh, so listen,
smelly Steve, let me ask you a question, huh?
How many scrawny, small-dick-having Asian porn
stars are there out there? Huh?
You know what, you know, you hate on guys like me.
Guys like Tom.
Because we have a fucking dream.
A big fucking wet dream.
You don't have shit.
Oh come on, man.
Fucking come on.
You're basically extras.
Right, you, you broom up other people's jiz and they
let you squeeze off a load on camera every once in a while?
That's not a fucking life, that's not a dream.
What are you... and they call you guys what,
what do they call you guys? Mopes?
You're a bunch of fucking Mopes.
What did you just call me? A Mope.
You just called me a Mope?
Yeah.
Would you ever call me a nigger?
He... hey.
What you ever call him a chink.
Have you ever called him a fucking chink?
Uh... Fuck you, man.
Fuck you...
Hey, hey. Fucking call me I'm a what?
What the fuck, man, whoa. That's my cock, man.
Whoa.
That's my dick, man, where's yours, huh?
I'm not... my dick?
I'm not, I'm not taking out my.
Mine's out, man. Dick, man.
Here's mine, huh? Okay.
Yeah.
It's right here, it's the difference between you and me.
You and us.
Fucking Mope.
So, I just, you know, I chilled at my beach pad at
The Keys for a while and just,
just kept a little A in the pipe.
That's all true?
Yeah.
Girls kept telling me I did it so good I should
fuck for a living.
You know, I knew it was my path.
I was born to be seen.
So, I came to Mecca.
And it begins.
John Holmes of African descent.
I'm gonna have a big trailer and a vacation home,
a speed boat.
My dick's gonna be on Good Morning America and shit.
You know, everyone will know my name.
Posters of me on chick's walls.
Um, watching myself, jacking off to my own fucking
scenes, man.
Banging every girl who crosses my path.
All holes, both holes, all three,
just plugging them with my fuck stick.
Uh, that does...
I'm gonna be on every DVD cover.
But they don't put guys on DVD covers.
Just girls.
Nah, they'll put me on them.
Hell, hell, you could be on them.
Nah. You know, why not, why not?
You could be, you could be the Chinese Bruce Lee of porn.
Well you want to be a star with me?
S... look at me, man.
I can't be a star.
Why not?
You know, you could just visualize it and you can and
will be a motherfucking star.
Psh.
You know, I even got my mansion picked out right there.
This whole valley is just a giant butt hole
waiting to be fucked.
You know, you and me, we were meant to meet.
Think what you and I could do if we teamed up.
We could be on those DVD covers together.
We could get motorcycles, a trampoline,
and you know what the best part is?
Being a star is a great way to meet girls.
You know, they won't give a mope the time of day but
every woman wants what a porn star can give them.
Stability, a good listener, and the greatest lay on Earth.
They'll all want relationships with us.
And when we find the one we can be monogamous and only
shoot scenes with her.
Sorry.
Sorry, I get a little, you know,
I get a little carried away when I'm talking about my destiny.
No.
No, actually, that was really beautiful.
It's just you can't just hope to get discovered.
How do you get yourself out there?
Driven.
Hear that?
Dong. Dong.
A-ooh. A-ooh. A-ooh.
Hey, yo, I've seen that set.
The bathroom set.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that was from,
uh... Um.
Anal. A...
Did someone say bathroom?
You got to piss, unload on her,
all right, we shoot porn here, guys.
Fuck off, Chris.
Fuck off, Chris, look at this bitch.
Relax, babe, it's a fucking joke.
You Tom?
Eric said you were Asian.
You good with computers?
That's right, that's right.
And this is, uh, this is Steve.
Hey.
Steve.
How you doing?
I'm Chris Rochelle, Eric's right hand man.
You like that, huh?
Looking for a gig?
I mean her head game is off the charts, man.
All right, yeah, I'll call ya.
All right, love to the kids. All right, bye-bye.
They're here. All right.
Come in.
Here we are, we got Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.
What'd I tell you?
You, you're spot on.
Hey, hey do that impression of the two of them?
That thing?
Oh yeah, you're gonna love this.
Don't be touching black man's radio.
Oh , that's perfection there.
It's great, right? Have a seat, boys, come on.
Yeah. Here, here.
Have a seat, guys.
So, uh, you called me, so I assume that you
are looking for work.
Um, Tom, I do have some web design I may need
a little help with.
Uh, Steve, uh, there's a hygiene issue with you and
frankly you don't have a big cock.
So, I, I, I don't know what...
We want to audition. We want to perform.
Yeah. Yeah.
But that's sort of my point, um,
we're not in a position to take on new actors
right now.
But let us change your mind.
You know, we, we'll do whatever it takes to get in
this business.
W... whatever.
Anything.
Well, okay.
Okay, I like your enthusiasm.
Uh, Ultima is doing something pretty
experimental.
No one else is doing this.
And we're looking for some actors who are pretty ballsy.
The question is, are you those actors?
We are those actors.
Jackie, Chris, we'll see what you got.
All right, this is gonna be fun.
It's a lot of fun. Take them out there.
All right, Kayla.
Kayla, wake up, we got something to shoot.
Kayla, wake the fuck up.
I'm ready.
All right, Kayla, we're gonna do the sleeping
cheerleader.
So, just lay your head back down.
Thank you, sweetheart.
Okay, let's see.
Tom.
You walk in to find the hottest,
bitchiest cheerleader in high school.
Okay, ready? Action.
Stop looking in the lens.
Look at her.
You're in the scene.
You can't believe this is happening.
So, you, uh, can't help yourself, right?
Just go over there and you start sniffing on her hair.
And then why not?
Go ahead, take a sniff of that armpit.
Nobody's looking.
Keep sniffing and you look, you look down,
you look down.
Boo-ya, check out those shoes.
Stop looking in the camera.
Okay, get those shoes off.
Maybe, maybe look around, like oh shit,
I hope nobody comes in.
It's so wrong, what I'm doing.
So wrong.
Get those shoes off.
Yeah.
Look at those pumps.
All right, take a sniff.
Take a big old sniff of that shoe.
Oh, that smells so good.
Oh it smells so good.
This is so fucking hot for you,
you can't stand it.
Pull out your dick, keep your pants on, though.
Start jerking it.
Yeah.
You can't stand it, just keep... that's it.
Get that shoe on it, that's good.
I like your improv.
All right, Steve, come around here.
I want you to walk into the classroom,
and you're like what the hell am I looking at?
Whoa, this is so hot.
Start touching yourself.
Yeah.
Tom, who's this?
Oh.
Who's this guy?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
This guy's jerking off too.
He must be pretty cool.
He can join in, why not?
Yeah, I would, yeah, that's good, see?
Yeah.
Instinctually went over to her shoulder,
start rubbing up on that thing.
You guys, start... rub your dicks on her.
On her shoulder, back of her neck.
Yeah.
Just rub all over... stop looking in the lens.
You, you guys are breaking the fourth wall.
That's the first rule.
Stay in the scene.
All right, okay.
Kayla, you're asleep, you're asleep,
and then all of a sudden, whoa, whoa.
What the f...
Oh my god.
You're rubbing your dicks on me.
That is so fucking disgusting.
Start working it.
I'm a fucking cheerleader.
You think I'm hot, don't you?
Yeah.
Put your hands behind your head.
Come on.
Put your hands behind your head.
You ready?
Are you ready?
I have something for you.
Okay.
All right, Tom, Kayla is gonna kick you in the balls.
Wait, what?
Kayla's gonna kick you in the balls.
Uh...
Get ready.
Uh...
I thought, I thought you shot sex scenes.
Have they not done this before?
Just hold on, sweetheart, they're auditioning.
I do shoot sex scenes, man, this is a sex scene.
It's a very sexual situation.
This is called ball busting.
It's gonna be the next big thing in the adult
entertainment industry.
You guys said you were the guys.
Let's find out.
All right, cut.
The looks on your face is not hot.
Yeah, they don't want to do it.
All right, Kayla, l... let me.
Step aside, guys, I'll show you.
All right.
So.
The trick is tense up your thigh muscles, right.
You want to go completely rigid.
Your impulse is gonna be to collapse.
You got to resist that, all right.
Just let it all happen, okay.
And what you want to do is take the hit and exhale.
Breath goes out.
Pain comes in.
Okay.
Ah.
Okay, okay, that was cute.
All right, uh, this time like a thousand times harder.
Oh... okay. Okay?
Okay. Watch this.
Oh.
Okay, Tom, you're up.
Get naked.
Guys, this is not titillating.
Let's go, come on.
Take it off.
Okay.
Here we go.
Uh, yeah, it's, it's just, um.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm sorry.
I don't have time for this bullshit.
We're trying to do something here.
I'm trying to fulfill a need in the market.
If you guys don't want to be part of that, get out.
Ah, don't.
That's a nice one.
Ah, all right, now Steve.
Okay.
Was, was it bad?
Should, should I do it? Stop it.
Oh. Oh.
Mm. Oh.
Uh... That was hot.
Oh. Thank you.
Yeah.
All right, that was good, that was good.
Now, moment of truth.
You can take a second, kids.
No.
Come on, get up.
Get up.
Here they go.
There they go.
Oh my god.
Fantastic.
Balls hurt, huh?
Yeah, I've been kicked like a thousand times.
You get used to it.
I'm really happy with that scene.
So, here's the deal I offer to all my male talent.
You can live here for free, if you work with me, only.
All right.
And we don't have a lot to pay,
but we do want to work with you.
So, we want you to join the team.
But, uh, you know, the economy being what it is,
uh, I can only offer one of you a job.
Okay?
And, uh, Tom, with your background in web
management, I'm offering it to you.
Hey, Steve, don't be upset.
I mean you got to be with a beautiful woman, right?
What if... It's just...
We really are a team.
So, what if you just pay the both of us as one actor?
Like split what you normally give one guy.
I'll build you a new website,
the one you got's shit.
We could even stay in the same room.
We'd take that deal.
Tell you what, one mope in two bodies,
saves us a lot of money.
Mm-hmm.
All right, what's the deal with you guys?
I mean are you his pimp?
You boyfriends?
Is, is it something weird, 'cause I,
I can't afford to have anything weird here.
We're partners.
We bring out the best in each other.
If you want me, you got to take Steve too.
Okay.
You'll do anything I ask?
Anything for my scenes?
An... anything.
Anything.
All right.
You guys are in.
Sorry, sorry.
Hey, but you.
Please take a shower.
Huh?
Ah, ah.
Give you a little tour of the kingdom.
All right, now this is a vending machine full of
anything your heart desires.
You got some condoms, douches.
I'm gonna go with a little tuna salad sandwich.
Oh yeah.
This is the fucking money.
Over here we got a lube room slash gear room.
Tons of great scented lubes.
Cherry vanilla, mango.
Girls love it when they smell like a vacation.
Shitter, shower.
Pay close attention to that one,
huh, pal?
Right?
Check this out.
Glory hole.
Little too small for me, but it works for some.
In here, we have a blow bang room.
You guys know what a blow bang is?
Huh?
A bunch of dicks, one chick on her fucking knees,
everyone gets off inside of her.
Or in her belly button.
Here's a hallway, also a set.
We shoot a bimonthly kaiju here.
Some clown fetish porn.
I like to dress as Bozo and have a fat girl shoot
ping-pong balls right into my mouth.
This window here, we got a voyeuristic POV into the
blow bang, it's a lot of fun.
Green scream.
This is some high-tech complicated shit, boys.
You want to fuck on Venus?
Guess what, you can.
Treetop, my mini Lenny Kravitz up there chilling,
smoking, blazing.
Fuck you, Chris. Fuck you.
You owe me ten bucks. Bullshit I do.
You owe me weed.
Here's Eric's room.
This is off limits, all right,
do not go in there until he grants you access.
Okay, follow me.
This right here is a computer lab.
It's not where the magic happens,
but this helps the magic happen.
Now, this is the business of the porn.
We have a lot of data gathering and casting and
scouting happen here.
Yeah, you like that?
Fuck you, Chris.
Shut the fuck up, I'm giving a tour,
turn around and shut your mouth.
Don't look at her.
There'll be plenty more and they're a lot hotter.
You got...
Bullshit, cunt.
Shut...
I'll deal with her later.
This is the directory in case you guys get lost,
all right.
Here's a calendar.
Look at this.
Fucking Treetop.
He always does this.
Don't fucking laugh.
You like that, huh?
Listen, Sandy Vagina's memorial picnic.
Show up to that if they let you, all right.
You eat a little bit more than hot dogs at that one
Interrogation room.
Hospital set.
All right, now follow me here, boys.
Now this, this right here is the biggest set we
have at Ultima. All right.
Check this out, take it in.
These are your fellow woodsmen.
Ready to slay some fucking bush right next to you.
All right, let me introduce you around here.
We got Jerry Brokheim, and he wants to produce.
Now this guy reading the magazine here,
he's a deaf one.
His name is Fisting Bill.
Took one too many cum shots to the eardrum.
We got Johnny Panties.
Dick Tracy.
Dirty Dick Bob.
He's like Yoda, except he jizzes a lot.
There's Wiz.
What up, Wiz?
Little Mexican gangster there is Poo -casso.
Now he shoots anal prolapse scenes,
quite an artist.
But do not, do not Google anal prolapse,
all right, there is nothing natural about that.
Last but not least we got my pal from the joint,
Dick Tucker, a.k.a.
Peach Fuzz.
Now he, uh, he's an old soul.
He spends all his money on booze.
He's also a convicted sex offender,
so we pay him under the table.
Don't fucking touch me, Peach Fuzz.
Oh.
Classic Peach Fuzz.
Whoa, they're going for it.
Ooh.
Ah, shit.
Sh... shit, why shit?
I want to be the cuck.
Let me be the cuck.
Let... you, you want to be the cuck?
Yeah, I mean he's her husband and she chose
a relationship with him.
He's the one in an enviable situation if you really
think about it.
Oh my god.
No.
You are....
What the hell is wrong with you, man?
God.
What?
Steve, why don't you think about how all these guys
actually get to fuck her in real life, okay.
The cuck's just a fucking story for a movie.
Okay, Wes can be the cuck.
Yeah, I drew the short straw.
Okay, Eric, what's the scenario?
All right, it is a faux-castration,
so poor Wiz is gonna be emasculated by all of you.
And then Nora's gonna step in and pretend to snip you.
With this. With this.
Okay. Ooh.
Look at that. Oh shit.
It's a katana.
Curved, slender, single edged blade.
Long grip to accommodate both hands.
I wonder how many men this is penetrated.
Whoa, zero, it's a prop.
No, no, no, no, it's an exact replica of a 16th century
samurai sword.
The kind of weapon that can slice.
Whoa. A man's enemies.
Whoa. In half.
Hey. Okay.
Hey, hey, hey, spaz academy, calm down, all right.
I got this at a yard sale.
Don't touch this.
Nobody touches this but me.
You see that. Yeah.
Mm.
How do you feel about us feeling up your wife?
Oh man, she's so tight.
You must be tiny, bro.
What does your wife and the Bermuda Triangle
have in common?
They both swallow seamen.
I'm gonna fuck your wife.
Your pathetic excuse of a dick isn't even
worthy of my holes.
These guys are about to show you how a real man should fuck.
Yeah.
Okay hey, Steve, Steve, get in there.
Say something.
Uh, you know want, want to know the best part about
fucking your wife?
Yeah.
Cuddling with her afterwards.
What the fuck... no, man, you got... something
emasculating.
Come on.
Uh...
Uh, your wife, she likes, she likes chocolate.
Yeah. She's gone, she likes it.
Yeah. She likes it long and hard.
That's good, man, that's good.
More of that, come on, guys.
Yeah, now she's having me, she's never gonna
want you again. She's ruined.
Keep, keep going, that's great.
Okay. Okay, that's great.
Look, look fucking... Fuck.
Damn it. Oh, god damn it.
Fuck. Fuck, man, I can't afford this.
It's busted.
Oh. Don't worry, I got this.
The important thing with electronics is being calm.
The important thing about electronics is keeping calm?
Yeah, I think Ben Franklin...
Uh... Said that once.
Let's see what he does.
This is why we brought him in.
Here you go, boom.
Tom fucking Dong.
Welcome to the game.
All right, back to the titties.
All right, let's get back to it.
Nice work.
Dad, I'm not coming back home like I said I was.
I know you're probably still mad and everything,
but I think I've got some news for you that will turn
that frown upside down.
All right guys, helmets off, go down on her.
I found a position in the field we talked about.
You're gonna be so fucking proud.
All right, enough.
Enough, get out of there.
Come on.
Back up.
Let me show you how to eat pussy.
I'm learning all about this wonderful business
from the ground up.
I'm developing skills that will help me in all areas of life.
It's entry level, but there's tremendous room for growth.
It's artistic, creative, yeah,
but there's a lot of technical detailed work.
Like your job at NASA.
I'm shooting four, five days a week,
just like a full-time job.
We do things no other men in this business will do,
uh, hard shit.
Tom, you are gonna be a legend.
Action.
Uh, uh...
A Chinese superman.
Uh, ah, it's burning my eyes.
Other guys think it's beneath them.
But in reality, no one else is strong enough to handle it.
Me and Tom are the last of straight porn stars.
We're so alike it, it frightens me deep inside.
Our interests and passions are identical,
only his are shrouded in the mysteries of the Orient.
He's all the good parts of me.
You're gonna love him.
And me and him, we're real people, interacting.
We're already innovating.
Together, we're responsible for a whole new wave of
sexual energy in women down here.
You can see it on their faces.
Girls are recognizing us in public,
they tell us they jack off to our scenes.
It's only a matter of time until they want to
be our girlfriends.
And who knows.
Maybe one of these lucky ladies could be carrying
your grandson.
We're part of something here.
You can be yourselves, your, your true persona.
Everything is allowed.
And, and me and Tom, we're the keystone.
I wish you could see me.
Your little boy is really making something of himself.
Bye, Dad.
Hey.
You cut the shit, all right.
Don't you got chores to do, bro?
No.
Give me this fucking sword.
What the f... You're out here playing games.
Tom, you know better.
Grow up.
Where the hell are they?
I don't know.
Hey, hey.
Yeah.
Where do you put the DVDs for Ultima Video?
The what?
Ultima Video, come on, dude.
There's like 5,000 porno companies, dude.
What kind of videos?
You know, ball-busting, face-sitting,
armpit sniffing.
We don't carry any of that perv shit.
Never have, never will.
How are we gonna become stars if no one's even
seeing our shit?
Come on.
Fucking Poo-casso.
Holy shit.
Nah, they keep sending me these invites to AVN
Award Parties.
No, fuck them.
I'm not gonna go.
They don't recognize ball-busting as a legitimate
erotic art form.
Now with the butt plug, keep it in for a few more days.
No, I don't care if you have jury duty,
you need to loosen up.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Holy shit, I knew I recognized him.
That's Rocket Carboni, huge porn director,
that's a fucking auteur.
2002, 2005 and 2009 AVN Director of The Year.
Oh no, no, no, don't, don't, don't do that.
Let's, let's play cool.
Not too desperate.
The biz just isn't the same.
I mean girls just used to love to fuck.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, don't, don't listen to anything this
slack jaw purse got to say, yeah.
Yeah, they talk about fucking.
They say they're reliable woodsmen.
But and how do you really know?
Oh yeah, playboy, what do you know about fucking?
I wrote the book on fucking.
You wrote the book.
Is that the book?
Oh, it's just, it's, this is my work, see.
Look.
Oh.
You like anal, huh?
Oh, well, anal's my favorite thing in the world.
With, with women, that is.
Well that's a great, great quality.
Who have you shot with?
Uh, Ultima DVD.
We're in-house talent.
Ultima?
You mean ball -kick studios?
You work with Eric Long?
He's like the king of the mopes.
You guys like do the dirty, pervy shit.
Tell me something, how do you like getting kicked in
the taint?
Well I, I'm a professional,
so, uh.
Yeah , professional mope.
Career mope, by the look of it.
Ultima's like six seconds away from going under.
Read the trades, all right.
Uh, act... actually we've got a decent web presence now.
And, uh, you know, online profits for Ultima are,
are going up, so.
Look at this nerd, talking to me about accounting and shit.
Look, dummy, I direct real movies.
I know, look, please, please.
You, you got to book us, I promise you,
we, we won't disappoint.
Give me one reason why I should book you.
I'll give you a million different reasons.
Do you like karate?
Okay, get away from me, mope,
you're creeping me out.
You like karate?
Hold this.
Hey.
Oh hey.
Hey, Rocket.
Whoa, turn, turn, turn.
Steve, what the fuck?
Get the bottles.
What?
Just get the bottles.
Get the, get the bottles.
Stroke.
Oh shit.
Sh... look at this shit.
And again, come on.
Woo.
Driven, driven.
Yeah, that's cool.
That's cool.
Yeah?
Cocksucker's got some skills.
I'm surprised you haven't heard of us.
We're, we're huge, they, they call us the,
the Chris Tucker and, and Jackie Chan of porn.
Yeah?
Do you do like tricks and shit?
Uh, sort of.
Pretty much.
Well, wait, he does his c... stuff,
you should switch it up.
It should be like Blackie Chan.
Or like Chris Punker,
Christ Tucker.
You know, we're, we're, we're actually thinking
about, you know, doing bigger stuff,
you know, me, me and my brother, you know.
Thinking about it, for the right director.
Yeah.
You guys are brothers.
Shoot, it's incredible.
Well, this is confidential of course but I'm directing
this, uh, adult film, action comedy in Hollywood.
We got a 30,000-dollar fucking budget.
Not like Ultima, where they shoot their shit for peanuts.
I might be able to find something for you guys in that.
But you got to be honest.
Can you give it to a girl hard for 30 fucking minutes?
I'm hard right now.
You better be.
Yeah, I'm hard too.
This is some of my work.
A little bit, I got, got a lot more,
here I am, she did ATM, actually.
All right, come on, boys, time to giddy-up.
Yee-haw.
You ready?
Yeah.
All right, so in this scene, you're a famous rapper.
And you found this Japanese tourist.
You're bringing him home to your wife, Angela.
Show her a good time.
Got it?
All right.
Let's do this.
You're over there.
Okay. And action.
So, uh, how you want to do this, baby?
Tokyo style?
What, woo, cut, cut.
You read the script, right?
Yeah.
You're a Japanese tourist from Japan.
Yeah, well, you know, just I thought he didn't really
need it, like an accent. Like an ac...
Well, he does. He needs.
This is a comedy, all right, so chink it up.
Man.
All right, okay pull the pants up.
Tuck them in.
Do you get it?
Hey, hey, eh.
Eh, just take it easy man, come on.
Listen, you're even worse.
You... I need you to be blacker and you to be
Chinese-ier, or Japanese.
Oh, come on, guys, this is a comedy.
Stereotypes are funny.
Do you understand a word that's coming out of my
mouth, Chris Tucker, huh?
Stereotype.
Oh.
Make it gangster, all right?
And action.
So, how you want to do this baby?
Tokyo style?
Rocket.
You're not getting any Academy Awards either.
So, try it one more time.
Just how you want to do this, baby?
Tokyo style?
And action.
So, how you want to do this, baby?
Tokyo style?
What the fuck?
Uh. Oh yeah.
Damn, girl, damn, girl. Yeah, girl.
Oh yeah, take it girl.
You like that?
Oh, yeah.
Fuck, yeah, girl.
Damn, girl, oh.
Cut.
Huh?
Cut, cut, cut.
This isn't working.
Dirk, Dirk, do something.
What are you doing?
What?
Why are you talking so white?
What, w... well, what the fuck do you want?
I need more than just some black nerd.
I... channel your inner Mandingo.
All right.
I need this to be an outrageous moment.
I need them to be shocked, all right.
Your ancestors were enslaved,
doesn't that make you mad?
Yeah.
Let's see that domination, that oppression.
I... Do you get it?
Uh, y... yeah. You fucking guys.
Look at Dirk.
Look, his bulging muscles, his fly ass pants.
He's got swagger.
What have you got?
You know.
Hey... What have you got?
Well, I got, I got, I got something for you.
You. Okay.
You're gonna be grateful that you,
I'm showing you first. Got it.
You keep rolling. I got it, I got it.
Don't talk to the camera crew.
Shit.
You got this.
Sorry, fucking amateur.
Oh.
Why'd you kick over my chair?
Sorry, boss.
Come on, bro.
Fuck.
Okay, you're a lucky man.
You're gonna love this.
Ready. Oh,
Monster hands, owoo, owoo.
Fuck yeah.
What the fuck is this? Yeah.
Huh? What the fuck are you doing?
I, uh... it, it's monster hands.
Okay, well that samurai shit was cool,
but what the fuck are these hands?
It's fucking monster hands, man.
Oh.
But why?
W...
Well, well why not?
It makes me stand out.
You're fucking with me, right?
Are you serious?
You guys said you were the Jackie Chan and Chris
Tucker of porn.
You are the most unprofessional,
ugly, stupid mopes I have ever fucking worked with.
No, you need to show some respect.
Look, we're stars.
You're a fucking bukkake boy.
Do you get that?
Stars?
You're fucking losers.
Did you guys think this was your big fucking break?
Do you know how I know you're a mope?
Because you don't know you're a fucking mope.
Jesus.
Take off the fucking gloves.
I can't really...
Come on, take off the.
Fuck off, man. Did you just touch me?
Huh?
What?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Fucking pussy mope.
What are you?
Are you white, are you black,
are you straight, are you gay?
Never call me that.
Oh.
Never fucking call me a queer.
Really? Yeah.
You sure? Yeah.
You sure you're not a fag? Yeah, I'm not a fag.
I think you're a cock-sucking mope.
You hear me?
I think you like sucking dick.
'Cause you talk like a fag.
And you act like a fag.
And you fuck like a fag.
Fuck you.
Ah. I'm not scared of you.
Are you a fag?
Don't call me a fag.
I fuck hot chicks every fucking day.
Oh, Jesus.
Get off me.
I'm not paying you.
Damn gay, fucking...
You're blacklisted.
You fucking mopes.
I don't get it.
That was supposed to be it.
Well, is there a phase three?
It's a two-phase plan.
Maybe Rocket's right about us.
No.
No, we're on the come-up, dude.
Girls across the world jack off to our scenes.
Huh?
We're adult actors.
That's huge.
When chicks hear what we do, they,
they'll know. We screw for money.
Tom, we're never, ever gonna be as horny as we are right
here, right now.
I'm Steve Driver.
The following video contains footage of me and my boy,
Tom Dong, the greatest Asian stunt cock ever having hot
sex with beautiful women who love taking loads all over
their faces, tits, ass cheeks.
And even inside their butt holes.
Check it out.
It's actually not bad.
No, I could definitely give you some pointers,
but you have an eye for composition and a good sense
of mise-en-scene.
Yeah, I do.
And so do you.
'Cause we know this stuff.
We, we know it better than anyone.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
I think we could do this on our own.
W... what are you saying?
I'm saying we should start our own company,
Driver Dong films.
Now think about it, we, we shoot some scenes,
we've got the intro.
We create a package to attract investors.
We've already got the tools for the job we need right here.
And what about the plans to become stars?
Now you want to be producers?
This is how we become stars.
This is phase three.
I thought there was no phase three.
There is now.
Shit.
Oh. Oh god.
Oh, god.
You're really boring me,
let's just chill out.
Oh god.
Are you done yet already?
Oh that's all in it.
Um, it'll be porn from the chick perspective.
What else you got?
Fast-forward it.
Oh god.
Ah. What the fuck?
What?
I mean w... what do you think?
What do I think?
I think this is shit.
I mean this isn't even sexy.
It's, in fact, it's downright fucking
disgusting.
Okay, okay.
Well, maybe we didn't get the execution we wanted this
time around, but, but the ideas,
the id... the ideas are there, right?
And, you know, with your investment we'd have more
incentive to offer the girls.
Your ideas are shit.
Pure shit.
No, I'm not interested.
Take the garbage, get the fuck out of my office.
Both of you guys.
Out.
We're done.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Oh hey, Dong, one last thing,
don't ever put a three-inch dick in a eight-inch hot dog bun.
Come on, what the fuck?
I will not tolerate this shit.
You, you told me you were getting rid of the disc.
Well, I, I mean what if we need it for later?
I hid it.
In the camera?
Yeah, and now the camera's not working again.
No, no, no, I fixed it. It's fine.
Well, what if you hadn't?
I mean what the hell is going on with you guys?
It... you're both acting like rebellious teenagers
and now you're making me act like an angry father.
I hate that shit.
I expect this from you, Steve.
But Tom, uh... I'm disappointed.
You know, I, I thought you were better than this.
Now, don't think I haven't heard about Chris's plans.
I hear the whispers.
And, and when that happens, I'm gonna need a new partner.
And Tom, you've, uh, turned my finances around.
You've lowered my overhead.
Hell, you're making me money.
So, I want that partner to be you.
But this kind of shit.
Stealing my equipment, going around behind my back.
I will not tolerate that.
I don't want to be harsh.
But, from now on you guys are suspended indefinitely.
What? What? Suspended?
There has to be consequences, guys.
I'm sorry.
This is how society is run and this is how I run my family.
Eric, Eric, you have to let me shoot.
If, if I don't fuck, I go crazy.
You have to let me shoot, I need to.
You know what, I don't got to do shit.
Okay.
I took a chance on you idiots.
I mean seriously, an eight-inch hot dog bun?
Yeah.
Want some Driver juice?
Like that.
Well, man, you take that many you're gonna
become immune.
Uh-uh.
My multivitamins.
Steve, you're on deck.
Look, um, I've been thinking.
No one's gonna invest in our company.
No.
No, my dad will.
He knows a smart investment when he sees one.
He, he won't let me down.
Then why isn't he calling you back?
Uh, he's a busy guy.
Maybe he doesn't want to invest in a porn company?
Everyone wants to invest in porn.
We have to assume there's no money.
If we just maintain things here and bank up enough
cash, we'll be able to start Driver Dong films in
a few years.
That's, that's a good goal, right?
Dude, we make 40 bucks a scene.
Okay, so it might take more than a few years.
Fuck that.
I'm not a mope.
I'm tired of pretending this is all I am.
We weren't trying hard enough before,
we didn't want it bad enough.
But that's all changing right here,
right now.
I'm gonna show them who the real Steve Driver is and he
ain't no pussy.
This is phase four, Tom.
Stop making up new phases.
Whatever the fuck it takes.
We need to just do our jobs and be professionals until,
until your dad comes through with the money.
Can you do that?
Yes, I can.
Thank you.
Dad, very important question.
Are you into anal?
'Cause I'm really fucking good at it.
Watch my scenes for proof.
There's an intensity in my work that you won't find in
the pretenders.
Driven!. Ooh!
Steve, if I can hear you over the girl,
you're doing it wrong.
Oh.
Just fuck the girl, Steve.
Anyway, I, I just wanted to give you an idea of what
your return on investment could be.
There's a lot of moving parts,
but with my skill and, and the talent I have lined up
to work with, I'd say you'd be looking at six figures
a year, conservatively.
Probably seven.
I'm gonna fuck you in the ass.
Let me fuck you in the ass, come on.
You want to get some Del Taco?
You ever been driven?
Driven. Driven.
That's what I yell when I fuck people.
Tom and I are hot names on the lips of the tastemakers
and everyone knows that Eric can't lose us.
Just give me one good frame.
Steve, that's all we need.
Just s... stand.
All right.
Oh my god.
You fucking nutted me? No.
I'm not even on fucking curtain call, you dick.
I didn't do it. I didn't do it.
I... what?
Eric, he fucking popped in me during stills,
you ass wipe.
That's, I can't, you better pay my fucking kill fee, Eric.
Baby, I'm so s - - I'm so sorry.
What the fuck, man?
You couldn't hope to find two cocksmen like us again
in a million years.
Not who will do the things we do for this craft.
So, they're gonna bite on your dicks and I want you to
bite really hard.
You're gonna enjoy this more than getting kicked in the
balls, boys.
Get in there.
They broke the mold with us, and it scares the money
around here.
It scares them half to death.
But with your backing, we'll scare them all the way to death.
That scene we shot the other day is unusable,
all right, so stop winking at the girls.
You are not flirting, you are already fucking them.
Okay, got it.
Yeah, chicken hands.
Fuck.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck are you doing?
What, you... they're chicken hands.
Just fuck the chicks, all right.
I don't need your creative input.
I'm the auteur here.
It's chicken hands.
What the fuck are chicken hands?
It's a theme, Eric.
What is the theme?
You're in a locker room with chicken hands.
I don't understand what the fuck I'm watching.
It's hot.
They're not hot.
They're dishwashing gloves.
Those are for dishes with.
Take those fucking dishwashing gloves off right now.
You are fucking me up.
Let's go again.
You need to take a fucking shower, Driver.
Oh, fuck you. Hey, hey.
It's not me. Don't talk to her that way.
What? You need to take a shower.
No. Everyone...
Her pussy fucking stinks, fucking shower.
Shut the fuck up.
If you don't get the hygiene thing under control,
I'm not gonna shoot you. Oh, fuck you, Eric.
Fuck me? It's my scene, man.
Get the fuck off my set. Get the fuck off my set.
Where's Treetop? What, Treetop?
You're gonna have him... Get the fuck off my set.
Fuck you both. Go take a fucking shower.
Christ. I'm it.
And when we go public, who the fuck knows,
maybe Fortune 500 numbers.
Eight figure fucking IPO.
Tom is running numbers, he's,
he's the math guy.
But this is buy a basketball team money we're talking.
Slavery money.
And it's due.
I'm due.
I've done more for this industry than any man before me.
It's all happening, Dad.
Just like in my dreams.
You're gonna be so proud of your fucking son.
Dad, please call back. Please.
This is, this is a smart investment,
it's, it's the best one.
I just need you to call me back and we can talk about it.
You'll love it.
It's, it's so good.
Dad, please.
Oh, mother... What the fuck?
Motherfucker. What the fuck?
What's going on? You motherfucker.
What's going on? You're a motherfucker.
Get away from me. Get the fuck away from me.
What the fuck are you doing? Stop.
That was... Fuck you, man.
All right, what, what, what. Fuck you.
What is it now? I mean...
Wiz is hogging all the girls' attention.
They're here for all of us, not just for him.
Hey, man, you're not even in the scene.
I was just... Fucking loser.
I was just... fuck you, man. Stop.
Loser.
Fucking hands, you fucking son of a bitch..
Man, just relax. Steve, come on.
Fuck off, what, stay out of this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Relax.
I need you to calm down.
No, I would be relaxed if it wasn't for the fucking...
Stop. Stop.
Put up your hand you small dick having motherfucker.
Stop. Come on, back.
What, what, what, what. Dude.
And all of a sudden you're backing Eric up now, huh?
Spending all your time with him,
being his fucking lap dog?
Fucking secretary is what you fucking are.
It's about all of us.
No.
The family.
That doesn't work for me.
Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I am sick of you being on my dime.
Out.
What the fuck do you know about porn,
huh, Eric?
I am porn.
Armpit sniffer 16, that's me.
Cheerlead... Ball Busting Cheerleaders Seven,
that's on me.
Me, me, fucking me.
Jesus Christ.
Fuck you all, man, fuck you all.
Don't fucking laugh at me.
I demand respect.
Fuck you.
You got to earn our respect, bro.
Fuck off.
Fuck the... fuck off.
I'm fucking Steve Driver, you don't fucking,
fucking know.
God. Pack up his shit, Chris.
Oh Eric, he didn't mean what he said.
Yes, he did.
I'll talk to him.
I'll make sure he's cool.
Uh, if the girls don't want to shoot with him,
I can't shoot him.
All right, don't talk to me, talk to them.
Seriously, how do you offend a gang bang queen?
No offense, sweetheart.
One more chance, that's all I'm asking for.
No.
If he leaves, I leave.
Bye, see you in hell.
Eric, look we have that, uh, interracial cuckold site
launching next week.
Yeah?
Well, man, look, the design's only half finished, all right.
We'll just hire somebody else.
No, no, that cost like 5,000 dollars.
All right, Tom is here, Tom is good.
Ah, fuck. Fuck.
Fuck, fu... okay.
Oh.
Steve can stay but he only does chores.
I will not shoot him.
Okay?
Okay.
Thank you.
You won't regret this.
Oh, fuck me.
What's up, Tom?
You know, he can't do this.
Guys like me, guys who, guys who can pop on command,
we're like fucking diamonds in a sea of ordinary men.
You know, I'm gonna go straight to the union.
I stuck my neck out for you, man.
Now I find out you're a psycho criminal.
Huh.
What?
Why didn't you tell me you got kicked out of college?
It's, it's not what you think.
All that stuff about being a jet pilot,
you made that up?
No, it's mostly true.
I'm supposed to be your best friend.
In school, a TA, he... he said I had to suck his dick
for a passing grade.
I, I was defending myself. No.
I looked it up, man.
It says you put an unloaded gun to his balls
and pulled the trigger.
That's... That's fucked up.
It wasn't like that. You got time for it.
House arrest. Tom.
Please, please don't.
Please don't tell anyone about this.
Steve.
Maybe Eric's right about some of this stuff.
We should sit back and survey the
landscape a little.
What are you saying?
What.
Quit the plan?
What about phase five?
It's not in the cards for us to be the guys on video
covers, girls hanging on us.
I mean look, we're in porn, right?
We're just not the guys, you know.
Isn't that okay?
We still get to fuck girls, uh,
this, this is an okay life, right?
No.
No, that's defeatist.
All it takes to succeed at anything is perseverance.
What, what you don't love what you do?
You don't, you don't want to fucking share
that with the world?
I suck at the thing I love to do.
But Eric, he lets me do it.
And he might be the only one who will.
I have nowhere else to go, Steve.
Look, uh, the guys cleaned up one of the rooms for me.
We got a lot of stuff in ours, and...
I need a little space right now.
You got any uppers?
Uh, no.
That's cool.
I got a lot.
I just don't like to use my own,
unless somebody else has some.
You know.
Nobody ever got rich spending their own money.
That's what I heard.
And it's the frugal people that have all the money.
And like that's the paradox of it all.
Like Scrooge McDuck, never spent any money.
Look, I...
You know, I, I don't, I know we don't know each other
well but would it be cool if I took a picture of you
where it looked like you were sucking me off?
Yeah, that's cool.
Dad?
Did he actually say anything about investing?
He'll invest.
You know, he's obviously had a change of heart since we
acquired a marquee talent.
She's gonna be Driver Dong's first contract girl.
Okay, fine, fine.
Dong Driver's first contract girl.
You good?
All right.
Dad.
Oh, here they are.
Dad.
Son.
Um, guys, this is, this is my dad.
Oh, okay.
And that's, uh, that's my stepmom, Melissa.
Hi.
My real mom is black, I'm adopted.
Well, uh, I think we're...
Oh, oh.
Short a chair here.
Here we go.
Well.
This place is, uh, unique.
Yeah.
Incredible, right? Tampa chose it.
Tom, can I just say Dave and I are so happy that Stephen
has someone he calls his best friend.
Oh, and much, much more than that.
More than a best friend.
My life partner.
Um, Tampa, you're Stephen's girlfriend?
Well, the only relationship I count is I'm a mother.
I have two little boys.
Really? Mm.
Where are your kids?
Currently, I don't know.
Uh, well, Stephen tells us you're an actress.
She's gonna be a legend.
Actually, I got, I brought some,
um, some DVDs, guys, I want you to see.
You're gonna love this, um, that one...
Um, I'm... I got that one.
No, no, no, n... no. Just stop.
Well. No.
Dad, Dad, it's part of my presentation.
You're gonna want to hear this.
It's great.
I, I, I'm not listening to any presentation.
Why not? I...
You got my, my e-mails, did, did you watch my pitch video?
Yeah.
I read your e-mails, I watched your video.
I heard your messages.
But I'm trying not to hear what you're saying.
Mm, you understand, Stephen?
We did not invite you here for a pitch.
We want you to come home.
We want you home. Home.
But I have my own home. I have fans.
Are you trying to humiliate me?
Huh?
I, I have always supported you.
Even your goth phase, when you were obsessed
with Columbine.
It's my dream.
Well what about your other dreams?
What about college?
Being an astronaut, a rapper?
The jet pilot stunt man?
Porn is all those things combined.
And Dad, I, I'm a high-risk professional athlete.
What I do requires stamina, endurance.
No. Determination.
No, no. Stop.
What you do requires a pulse.
And what are you doing with this girl?
Really, you bring a, a woman dressed like this to
a goddamn family dinner.
Dad, she loves me.
She, she's not your girlfriend, Stephen.
She doesn't love you. What you...
She doesn't even want to be here.
What do you know about love? No.
You...
Dad. I just wanted to show you I, that I wasn't gay.
No one thought you were. You, you're sick.
No.
Stephen, no, he does, he has...
No, I'm not, I, I'm not sick.
A mental illness. I, I don't have anything.
He has, he does. Don't listen to him, Tom.
He has... I don't have anything.
He has a mental illness. I don't have anything.
Yes, you do.
You are coming with us.
This is going home, don't need it anymore.
Fucking dinner.
Fine.
You're a big porn star now.
Big star.
Right?
Everybody wants to know you, everybody wants to be you.
I would think, Stephen, that a,
a porn star would have more pride in his appearance.
You know, and in his hygiene and in the company that he keeps.
I watched your videos.
And from what I can tell you just get kicked in the balls.
You're a porn star who gets paid next to fucking nothing
to not have sex.
I do have sex.
I do.
Stephen, why porn?
You're not, you're not even
well-endowed.
David.
That's enough.
Enough.
Psh...
Normally I don't like to talk shop on the Sabbath.
But I am glad you told me about the meth whore.
Still, I'm gonna need both of you guys to leave.
I'm gonna miss your loads hitting those pretty faces,
though.
We don't have anywhere to go.
Yeah.
So?
Eric, please.
This is a volatile business.
Steve is a wild card, and I can't afford to have any
wild cards.
So, as long as you're with Steve,
you're a wild card too.
Please, Eric.
Whatever I need to do to stay here.
To be a part of this company.
Permanently.
I'll do it.
With or without Steve.
You're part of this family now.
Okay?
And I'm gonna take care of you.
You beautiful boy.
And you and I, we're gonna fuck chicks,
together.
And our fucking hard cocks are gonna go inside them,
and they're gonna touch.
And then you are gonna know the true meaning of
brotherhood.
So, I can still perform?
You can still perform. All right?
All right. Right.
So, you people are good with this new little shit.
Have a seat, Steve.
So, uh, Tom tells me you have a girl staying here in
the building.
No.
No, it's n... it's not, it's not just a girl.
She's an amateur, she's gonna be...
Okay, no, she's a tweaker and I don't want that
in my building.
No, she's clean.
She's not clean.
I saw her smoking shit yesterday.
Fuck you, man. Get him out of here.
Hey, eh, eh. Fuck you, get out of here.
Hey, hey. Follow the fucking rules.
Okay, look.
I think it's best that we just cut ties now.
You know, uh, uh, I, I would like you to go.
Thank you.
But...
But I, but I've been doing what you asked.
Uh, you, no, no, you haven't.
You can't clean for shit.
You don't know how to edit.
The only thing you use the computer for is to look up
porn all the time.
Uh, you, you're, you're no good to me.
We... we've got nowhere else to go.
So. Right.
Um...
Tom is staying.
Find an old roommate, go back to your parents.
It's over.
You haven't figured this out.
And honestly, do you want to be 92 out of 100 on the call
sheet for a big fucking mope gang bang?
At best.
It's a tough business, man.
I'm sorry.
What about Tampa?
Yeah, Florida's got a great porn scene.
No. If you want to try and...
No, ta... She's called Tampa.
I don't know. What about her?
Well, well I, I was gonna save her for my own
production company, but I'll do you a favor.
You know, you're always saying you're looking for
new angles, right?
What, what about, what about the meth whore angle?
There's got to be a market for that.
I get her, I get her to shoot cheap.
You let me stay?
Come on, come on, just right.
Right, right in here.
I, all right, just, just sit right there.
How you doing there, honey?
Fill this out for me, all right?
Just the top part there.
You look beautiful.
What's going on, what's, what's their premise?
Uh, it's a cuckold gang bang thing.
No, no, no, no, I, I, I thought it was
a boy girl scene.
Just, just me and her.
Well, you thought wrong, it's a cuckold
gang bang thing.
Eric.
Eric, I don't, I don't want her banging those goons.
She only shoots with me.
No, she doesn't, you're the cuck.
But I haven't even banged her yet.
Well, it'll add some realism to your performance.
Okay?
But no, come on, man.
Hey, do you want to sleep in your car tonight?
Congratulations, Steve. You're now a pimp.
Take that cock. Oh.
Oh, yeah. Ooh.
Ar... okay.
All right, uh, open up to camera.
Or move your eyes, or just act.
Can you act a little bit?
Ooh. Will you please act?
I need another beer. It's just, I'm sorry.
I know. I'm a lame person.
And sorry. I'm losing wood.
Okay. Let's go.
Okay, al... all right. I'm fucking rolling here.
Um, hold her down. Yeah.
Yeah, hold her down. That, that's hot, yeah.
Huh. Ooh.
It hurts when you do it like that.
Anal is like a very emotional thing.
Stop.
Just, um, do regular first.
That will turn me on and then we can do like slow anal.
I'm sorry, guys.
Do you have some Xanax?
Or like s... maybe some Soma?
Percs?
How about another beer, hon?
Will that do it for you?
Yeah, all right.
Picked a real winner here, Steve.
Ah, you reek.
I can smell your ass all the way from over here.
Your wife's got to like be in with guys who don't smell
like shit.
And he looks like he's retarded too.
Why would she want to be with you,
Stinky Steve?
Why don't you go and crawl back into whatever deep,
dark hole you crawled out of?
Ooh, oh, mm.
Ah, this is getting me hot.
Chris. Yeah.
Do me a favor. Yeah.
Take the camera. All right.
I'm gonna get in there. Hell yeah, get on in there.
Oh, oh sh...
Tweak her nipples a little bit.
Chris, man, you got to get in here.
Yeah? Yeah.
Who's gonna hold the camera? Yeah.
I bet you never suck your husband's
fucking cock like that.
Oh, I bet his little fucking inadequate dick never fills
your mouth like mine. Huh?
What do you think, Driver?
Look at us all fucking your girlfriend, huh?
Everybody's fucking fingers in every fucking part of her
and you can't do shit.
You can't do shit, man.
She said you don't have a cock that even touches
her front teeth, man.
Shriveled up little pathetic fucking loser.
All right, Tom, Tom. Tom.
Get in here, man.
Come on, man, it's a cuck scene.
It's what we do.
It's just pretend.
Come on, man.
I'm not gonna ask you again, do it.
Okay, hey, sweet... stop. Fuck.
Tom.
You can do this.
Okay.
I believe in you.
Sweetheart.
Get her in, get her in Tom, come on.
It feels good to be with her.
You.
Loser.
Why can't you do anything right?
Why can't you be better?
I believed you.
You do smell bad.
Like shit.
You're all about being a porn star and you can't even
take a shower.
How fucking stupid are you, huh?
She doesn't want to be with you,
she's not your girlfriend.
You'll never have a girlfriend.
No girl will ever want you, ever love you.
You disgusting piece of shit.
No girl will ever love you.
My life will be so much easier without you.
I spend all my time telling you how to do things and you
just keep fucking up.
All you've done is hold me back.
You and your stupid, pathetic dreams.
I, I knew from the very beginning,
I knew we'd never be stars, but I used to hear about it
so much I got to thinking maybe we would.
Look at yourself.
You'll never be a porn star.
How did you ever think you could become a star, huh?
You're not even a mope.
There's no word for how low you are.
F... I fucking hate you.
Oh god.
Steve? Steve?
Steve, I'm... I'm sorry.
Look, you know what I said was for the scene, right?
Please forgive me.
And I want to help you.
Let me help you.
Ya.
He-ya.
Ya.
Ah.
Steve.
Out. Tonight.
You hear me?
Steve.
Do you hear me?
It's time to go, dude.
Hey, shut the fuck up, man.
I am doing this.
Hey.
Hello.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Get him out of here, please?
Come on, man.
Look, I don't want to be an asshole,
okay, you've been good to me over the years,
all right.
But I'm not wrangling these guys anymore.
I'm not good at this, man.
And you are.
And you owe me.
Okay, you fucking, you owe me.
I mean you owe me.
Right?
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
Steve, get your shit and get out.
Steve.
Come here, man.
I'm not gonna come there, man,
I don't want to see any of your bullshit.
I want you out of the fucking building.
Steve.
Pack up your shit, I'm not fucking around.
Man, you should see this.
I've told you 15 fucking times, get out.
Dude, you need to see this.
Quit stalling, come on.
No, man.
Look you fucking mopes, I'm through with this shit.
Ah. Ah, ha-ho.
God.
Oh my god.
Oh God. Please.
Steve, no. Ow.
Oh. Oh my god.
God, ow. Get him, get him.
Jesus fucking Christ. Put it down.
Oh god.
Put it down, come on. Steve, please, please.
Please don't do this. Put it... put it down.
I love you, brother. I love you.
Ah. Shit, shit.
Hey, hey. Just don't die.
Hey. Don't die, Chris.
Hey, call 9-1-1. Shit.
Oh. Oh g...
Eric. No, god, no.
Eric.
Fuck, Eric.
T... Tom.
Fuck. Fuck.
Shit.
Yo, yo, you've reached Tom Dong,
porn star and CFO of Driver Dong Films.
Uh, I'm probably balls deep right now so please leave
a message and I'll call back.
Tom.
Please.
Please, please call back.
I need to speak to you really bad.
I'm pissed, I know it.
Tom, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, I, I would never,
ever hurt you.
Help me, Tom.
I just can't see it.
I searched and I searched.
And I searched and just - - I can't understand it.
I tried, Tom.
I almost had it all.
We, we almost had it together,
but, but we could, we could get it back.
If Eric will forgive me, it...
Everything will be fine.
All we need to do is catch our big break.
Then we'll have trampolines, and motorcycles,
and waterslides and every videogame.
We, we'll have it all.
And we'll have girlfriends who spend the
night every night.
Everyone will love us.
Everyone will know our names.
We're gonna be stars, Tom.
We're gonna be stars.
We're gonna be stars, Tom.
We're gonna be stars.
Tragic end for a porn star wanted for killing
a colleague with a samurai sword.
He falls off a cliff to the ground and dies.
Police say the suspect went on a rampage Tuesday at
a Van Nuys porn studio and killed a coworker.
His name's Steve Driver in terms of porn circles,
and no, it wasn't a household name.
He's charged with killing fellow adult film actor Tom Dong.
The pair was described in one report as the Jackie Chan
and Chris Tucker of porn.
Fuck.
Woo.
Fuck.
Woo.
Fuck.
Woo.