1 00:00:53,855 --> 00:00:54,855 ♪ 2 00:00:57,935 --> 00:01:02,940 Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard 3 00:01:03,212 --> 00:01:05,315 ♪ 4 00:01:10,052 --> 00:01:12,522 - (ELECTRONIC CLACKING) - (SOFTLY): Ah. Ooh. 5 00:01:14,256 --> 00:01:16,291 (VIDEO GAME CHARACTER GRUNTING) 6 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,630 (COMPUTERS BEEPING) 7 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,201 (VIDEO GAME CHARACTER SCREECHING) 8 00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:31,240 (WHISPERS): Oh, bollocks. 9 00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:37,109 Uh, we've got a problem. 10 00:01:37,111 --> 00:01:39,613 - A cyberattack? - Yes, Prime Minister. 11 00:01:39,615 --> 00:01:42,114 (SIGHS) Took me two bottles of wine 12 00:01:42,116 --> 00:01:45,585 and half a packet of sleeping pills to finally nod off. 13 00:01:45,587 --> 00:01:46,653 - Ah, oh... - And you wake me 14 00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:48,654 because some fat-fingered hacker's 15 00:01:48,656 --> 00:01:50,455 - pinched your PIN number. - Well, it's 16 00:01:50,457 --> 00:01:52,156 a little more serious than that, Prime Minister. 17 00:01:52,158 --> 00:01:54,125 - Mm! - The identities of every one 18 00:01:54,127 --> 00:01:56,260 of our serving agents have been exposed. 19 00:01:56,262 --> 00:01:58,296 What?! 20 00:01:58,298 --> 00:02:00,365 - Who's doing this? - We're not sure, ma'am. 21 00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:03,133 So one week before I host my first G12 summit, 22 00:02:03,135 --> 00:02:05,336 Britain's entire security apparatus has been taken down, 23 00:02:05,338 --> 00:02:07,205 and you know absolutely nothing? 24 00:02:07,207 --> 00:02:08,673 That does pretty much sum up the situation, 25 00:02:08,675 --> 00:02:09,808 - ma'am, yes. - Well, you'd better get someone 26 00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:11,610 on it and find me some answers. 27 00:02:11,612 --> 00:02:12,877 Yes, but that's the problem. 28 00:02:12,879 --> 00:02:14,311 We don't have any agents left. 29 00:02:14,313 --> 00:02:15,345 They've all been outed. 30 00:02:15,347 --> 00:02:18,382 So bring back an old one! 31 00:02:18,384 --> 00:02:19,817 ♪ 32 00:02:19,819 --> 00:02:22,320 (BIRD HOOTING IN DISTANCE) 33 00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,296 All units, this is Juliet Echo. 34 00:02:33,298 --> 00:02:35,698 Stand by for target coordinates. 35 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,801 (RUSTLING) 36 00:02:37,803 --> 00:02:39,902 Target acquired. Repeat: 37 00:02:39,904 --> 00:02:42,540 target acquired. 38 00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:51,281 ♪ 39 00:02:56,721 --> 00:02:58,590 - Oh! - (BODY THUMPS) 40 00:02:59,690 --> 00:03:03,060 Now, then, what have we here? 41 00:03:04,696 --> 00:03:06,493 Sorry, sir. 42 00:03:06,495 --> 00:03:08,329 Never mind, Baggaley. 43 00:03:08,331 --> 00:03:11,365 Your concealment and camouflage work is definitely improving. 44 00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:13,499 - Thank you, sir. - BOY: Come on! 45 00:03:13,502 --> 00:03:15,770 - ENGLISH: You, too, Ibadulla. - We got him! 46 00:03:15,772 --> 00:03:18,906 Excellent. That is a first-class mantrap. 47 00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:20,909 Six house points. 48 00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:23,309 - Yes! - (TOY GUN ZAPPING) 49 00:03:23,311 --> 00:03:25,546 Right. Let's get back to school before matron notices 50 00:03:25,548 --> 00:03:26,914 - you're missing. - KIDS: Aw. 51 00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:28,314 And don't worry, there aren't 52 00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:29,682 any more booby traps. 53 00:03:29,684 --> 00:03:31,416 - Aah! - Ooh. 54 00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:34,221 Apart from this one, of course. 55 00:03:35,524 --> 00:03:37,190 TEACHER: Excellent work. Okay, well done. 56 00:03:37,192 --> 00:03:38,625 Come on, Frazer, keep up. 57 00:03:38,627 --> 00:03:42,329 ♪ 58 00:03:49,236 --> 00:03:50,903 Mr. English? 59 00:03:50,905 --> 00:03:52,771 We haven't seen him, sir. 60 00:03:52,773 --> 00:03:54,141 Ah. 61 00:03:56,476 --> 00:03:58,476 And that's camouflage. 62 00:03:58,478 --> 00:04:00,277 (EXCITED CHATTER) 63 00:04:00,279 --> 00:04:02,413 - High five! - Hmm. 64 00:04:02,415 --> 00:04:03,682 ♪ 65 00:04:03,684 --> 00:04:06,752 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 66 00:04:06,754 --> 00:04:07,754 ENGLISH: And go. 67 00:04:08,789 --> 00:04:12,323 And go. And go. 68 00:04:12,325 --> 00:04:14,525 The welfare of your children is our paramount concern. 69 00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:17,895 They're never exposed to any unnecessary risk, I assure you. 70 00:04:17,897 --> 00:04:19,231 (BOY WHOOPS) 71 00:04:24,436 --> 00:04:25,672 (GASPS) 72 00:04:29,972 --> 00:04:31,639 I think that's an "F" 73 00:04:31,641 --> 00:04:34,709 for your bomb disposal coursework, Hattersley. 74 00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:37,511 You're looking particularly beautiful tonight. 75 00:04:37,514 --> 00:04:40,749 KIDS: You're looking particularly beautiful tonight. 76 00:04:41,251 --> 00:04:42,682 Ching! 77 00:04:42,684 --> 00:04:44,054 KIDS: Ching! 78 00:04:46,022 --> 00:04:48,121 - Have a good half-term, sir. - Thank you. 79 00:04:48,123 --> 00:04:49,622 Thank you, sir. 80 00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:52,062 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 81 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,000 (SIGHS) 82 00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:09,576 - ♪ - (ENGINE ROARING) 83 00:05:17,285 --> 00:05:19,220 (TIRES SQUEALING) 84 00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:30,864 ♪ 85 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,071 (SIGHS): Whew. 86 00:05:41,073 --> 00:05:43,673 You're seriously telling me this is all we've got? 87 00:05:43,675 --> 00:05:46,010 Uh, most of them are either dead, having hip operations, 88 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,178 or recovering from prostate surgery. 89 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,947 (CLEARS THROAT) 90 00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:51,314 Okay. 91 00:05:51,316 --> 00:05:52,816 LESLEY: Before your briefing, 92 00:05:52,818 --> 00:05:54,118 we'll need you to re-sign 93 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,054 - the Official Secrets Act. - Thank you. 94 00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:59,355 - Thank you. - Thank you. 95 00:05:59,357 --> 00:06:01,891 (SOFTLY): Thank you very much. 96 00:06:01,893 --> 00:06:04,460 Any of you gentlemen remember this? 97 00:06:04,462 --> 00:06:06,829 - AGENT 5: Ooh, the Montblanc Blaster. - Mm-hmm. 98 00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:08,197 Haven't seen one of those for years. 99 00:06:08,199 --> 00:06:10,699 Take the cap off, and, if memory serves, 100 00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:12,201 you've 20 seconds 101 00:06:12,203 --> 00:06:14,203 to replace it, or it detonates 102 00:06:14,205 --> 00:06:16,105 with the force of a stun grenade. 103 00:06:16,107 --> 00:06:17,906 - (OTHERS CHUCKLING) - Oh... 104 00:06:17,908 --> 00:06:20,144 (CHUCKLES BREATHILY) 105 00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:23,745 (SOFT, RHYTHMIC BEEPING) 106 00:06:23,747 --> 00:06:26,314 (PEN SCRIBBLING) 107 00:06:26,316 --> 00:06:28,051 (BEEPING ACCELERATING) 108 00:06:31,188 --> 00:06:33,190 - (BEEPING STOPS) - (RELIEVED SIGH) 109 00:06:34,024 --> 00:06:35,890 Ooh. 110 00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:38,195 (SOFTLY): Mm, thank you. 111 00:06:39,997 --> 00:06:42,930 Teas on the left, gentlemen, 112 00:06:42,932 --> 00:06:45,099 and coffees on the right. 113 00:06:45,101 --> 00:06:47,801 - AGENT 7: Excellent. - AGENT 5: Oh, damn it. 114 00:06:47,803 --> 00:06:49,768 I forgot my pills. 115 00:06:49,770 --> 00:06:52,138 - (GRUNTING) - AGENT 7: Here, have some of mine. 116 00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:54,874 AGENT 7: Scotch whiskey single malt? 117 00:06:54,876 --> 00:06:56,742 AGENT 5: Thank you very much. 118 00:06:56,744 --> 00:06:58,178 AGENT 7: Coffee. 119 00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:01,715 Ooh. Here, let me help you with that. 120 00:07:06,254 --> 00:07:07,787 ENGLISH: Tea? 121 00:07:12,527 --> 00:07:14,893 - (SOFT BEEPING) - Ooh, this one just needs 122 00:07:14,895 --> 00:07:16,896 a little top-up of hot water. 123 00:07:16,898 --> 00:07:18,096 I'll be right back. 124 00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:19,965 (DOOR OPENS) 125 00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:22,267 AGENT 7: Man's a divot of the first order. 126 00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:24,469 - Someone should put him out of his misery. - Oh. Oh. Ah. 127 00:07:24,471 --> 00:07:26,305 AGENT 5: Along with whoever furnished 128 00:07:26,307 --> 00:07:28,540 - this room. - Ooh. (GASPS) - (CAP CLATTERING) 129 00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:31,376 - (AGENTS LAUGHING) - (GASPS) 130 00:07:31,378 --> 00:07:33,214 (MUFFLED EXPLOSION) 131 00:07:34,447 --> 00:07:36,447 (STAMMERING) 132 00:07:36,449 --> 00:07:38,983 PEGASUS: Ah, good morning. 133 00:07:38,985 --> 00:07:41,851 Sorry to keep you. (CLEARS THROAT) 134 00:07:41,853 --> 00:07:43,221 Are the others here? 135 00:07:43,223 --> 00:07:44,790 Um... 136 00:07:46,492 --> 00:07:48,927 PEGASUS: Oh. 137 00:07:51,197 --> 00:07:53,330 Mm, they, um... 138 00:07:53,332 --> 00:07:55,398 they nodded off. 139 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,234 Right. 140 00:07:57,236 --> 00:07:59,269 And who are you, exactly? 141 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:01,304 English. 142 00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,374 - Johnny English. - Well. 143 00:08:04,876 --> 00:08:07,910 - English. - (WRY CHUCKLE) 144 00:08:07,912 --> 00:08:09,378 You'll leave immediately. 145 00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:11,413 My people will give you the full briefing en route. 146 00:08:11,415 --> 00:08:13,048 Oh, is there anything you need? 147 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,984 Yes. Nerve gas nasal spray, 148 00:08:14,986 --> 00:08:18,187 a type four exoskeleton... you should probably start a list... 149 00:08:18,189 --> 00:08:20,055 and a garroting watch, 150 00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:22,290 with a rubber strap, not the steel bracelet, 151 00:08:22,292 --> 00:08:25,494 'cause the links get caught in the little hairs on my wrist. 152 00:08:25,496 --> 00:08:28,296 Oh, and I'll also need a Bough. 153 00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:30,298 What's a Bough? 154 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:32,567 - (DOOR OPENS) - Sir! 155 00:08:32,569 --> 00:08:34,235 (CHUCKLES) 156 00:08:34,237 --> 00:08:36,571 Wonderful to see you! 157 00:08:36,573 --> 00:08:38,339 Yes, all right, Bough. 158 00:08:38,341 --> 00:08:40,407 We're going on a mission, not a honeymoon. 159 00:08:40,409 --> 00:08:42,410 Yes, of course, sir. 160 00:08:42,412 --> 00:08:45,179 Ah. I think it's the pin of your buckle, sir, it's caught 161 00:08:45,181 --> 00:08:47,247 - on my jumper. - Yes, I can see what's wrong, Bough. 162 00:08:47,249 --> 00:08:49,450 - BOUGH: Yeah. - If you go to your left, 163 00:08:49,452 --> 00:08:51,451 and I'll go to my right... 164 00:08:51,453 --> 00:08:53,620 I'm sorry, no. If you go to your right, 165 00:08:53,622 --> 00:08:55,556 and I'll go to my left. 166 00:08:57,226 --> 00:08:59,091 No. If I go clockwise, 167 00:08:59,093 --> 00:09:00,960 and you go anticlockwise. 168 00:09:00,962 --> 00:09:03,864 - Uh, no, I think that's making it worse, sir. - Hmm. 169 00:09:03,866 --> 00:09:05,965 I'm surprised that didn't work. 170 00:09:05,967 --> 00:09:07,902 ♪ 171 00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:10,303 (BEEPING) 172 00:09:10,305 --> 00:09:12,004 P: Good morning, sir. 173 00:09:12,006 --> 00:09:14,206 I have your Agent Activation pack here. 174 00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:17,075 Department issue smartphone. 175 00:09:17,077 --> 00:09:20,879 580-megapixel camera, 4.7-inch retina HD display. 176 00:09:20,881 --> 00:09:22,882 (CHUCKLES) Ingenious. 177 00:09:22,884 --> 00:09:24,349 And what does it shoot? 178 00:09:24,351 --> 00:09:25,917 Poison darts? 179 00:09:25,919 --> 00:09:28,486 It... doesn't shoot anything. 180 00:09:28,488 --> 00:09:30,188 It's a phone. 181 00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:32,090 There's a Twitter handle, Instagram feed, 182 00:09:32,092 --> 00:09:34,091 and secure login for the department Uber account. 183 00:09:34,093 --> 00:09:35,527 What's he on about, Bough? 184 00:09:35,529 --> 00:09:38,163 I need a weapon, not a box of gobbledygook. 185 00:09:38,165 --> 00:09:41,432 I think, uh, wh-what Agent English is getting at, sir, 186 00:09:41,434 --> 00:09:43,133 is all this is highly trackable. 187 00:09:43,135 --> 00:09:45,302 But since we're dealing with a very sophisticated 188 00:09:45,304 --> 00:09:47,638 digital target, we might be less visible 189 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:51,110 if we took a more analog, low-tech approach. 190 00:09:52,478 --> 00:09:54,645 Exactly. 191 00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:57,181 - I see. - P: Ah. 192 00:09:57,183 --> 00:09:59,182 Is there anything else I can get you? 193 00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:01,617 A gun? 194 00:10:01,619 --> 00:10:03,686 We... 195 00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:06,356 don't really do guns anymore. 196 00:10:06,358 --> 00:10:07,522 PEGASUS: Just... 197 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,523 get him a gun. 198 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,227 - Mm-hmm. - P: Right, a gun. 199 00:10:11,329 --> 00:10:13,496 (BEEPING, MECHANICAL WHIRRING) 200 00:10:13,498 --> 00:10:15,133 (SIGHS) 201 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,367 P: Right. Haven't actually... 202 00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,135 done one of these before. 203 00:10:20,137 --> 00:10:23,338 It is my obligation under section 14 204 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,273 of the Health and Safety Directive to inform you 205 00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:27,943 that the equipment with which you are about to be issued 206 00:10:27,945 --> 00:10:30,447 can cause injury and bodily harm. 207 00:10:33,282 --> 00:10:36,485 Furthermore, any agents with nut allergies 208 00:10:36,487 --> 00:10:39,255 - should be aware that traces of cashew oil... - Thank you. 209 00:10:41,157 --> 00:10:42,992 Right, transport. 210 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:49,130 So, take any hybrid you want. 211 00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:50,933 (EXHALES) 212 00:10:59,007 --> 00:11:01,410 ♪ 213 00:11:04,012 --> 00:11:07,347 - I'll take this one. - Oh, don't be ridiculous, English. 214 00:11:07,349 --> 00:11:09,215 This car's a relic. 215 00:11:09,217 --> 00:11:12,384 Drinks petrol, leaks oil, has no passive, let alone active, 216 00:11:12,386 --> 00:11:15,654 - safety features. - Do you know what else it doesn't have, sir? 217 00:11:15,656 --> 00:11:18,490 Satellite navigation or a single computer chip. 218 00:11:18,492 --> 00:11:21,325 Making it completely invisible to a digital enemy. 219 00:11:21,327 --> 00:11:23,762 (STARTS ENGINE) 220 00:11:23,764 --> 00:11:26,098 The equipment Agent English requested, sir. 221 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,000 Thank you. 222 00:11:28,002 --> 00:11:30,136 - Phone, Bough? - Yeah. 223 00:11:33,072 --> 00:11:36,574 That high-tech villain of yours will never see us coming. 224 00:11:36,576 --> 00:11:38,209 (TIRES SQUEALING) 225 00:11:38,211 --> 00:11:41,347 ♪ 226 00:11:53,158 --> 00:11:56,026 BOUGH: Let's see what they've given us. (SIGHS) 227 00:11:56,028 --> 00:11:57,694 Exoskeleton. 228 00:11:57,696 --> 00:11:59,396 Exploding cotton buds. 229 00:11:59,398 --> 00:12:01,398 The old shoebox inflatable. 230 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,598 Hmm. 231 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,802 Ooh. What are these? 232 00:12:04,804 --> 00:12:07,570 Instant Release Super High Energy Pills. 233 00:12:07,572 --> 00:12:10,473 Like sticking your fingers in an electric socket. 234 00:12:10,475 --> 00:12:13,242 - Highly recommended. - Right. 235 00:12:13,244 --> 00:12:15,744 So the red ones must be the Total Knockout Sleeping Pills. 236 00:12:15,746 --> 00:12:17,446 - Correct. - Oh. 237 00:12:17,448 --> 00:12:19,547 Probably worth labeling these. Um... 238 00:12:19,549 --> 00:12:20,748 Ooh. (CHUCKLES) 239 00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,116 Look, sir. 240 00:12:22,118 --> 00:12:23,420 Sweeties. 241 00:12:24,522 --> 00:12:25,653 Ooh. 242 00:12:25,655 --> 00:12:28,089 Hang on a minute. 243 00:12:28,091 --> 00:12:30,058 I always did love a Jelly Baby. 244 00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:31,626 I wouldn't if I was you, Bough. 245 00:12:31,628 --> 00:12:34,228 "Jelly" is short for gelignite. One bite, and it'll take 246 00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:37,065 the top of your head off along with the roof of the car. 247 00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:38,235 What does this do? 248 00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:43,304 It's a mixtape, Bough. 249 00:12:43,306 --> 00:12:46,306 ("I'M YOUR MAN" BY WHAM! PLAYING) 250 00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,141 ENGLISH: So, destination? 251 00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,310 BOUGH: South of France, sir. That cyberattack seems 252 00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:52,379 to have been launched from the Wi-Fi signal 253 00:12:52,381 --> 00:12:53,814 of a hotel in Antibes. 254 00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,615 ♪ Call me good 255 00:12:55,617 --> 00:12:57,383 ♪ Call me bad 256 00:12:57,385 --> 00:13:01,087 ♪ Call me anything you want to, baby ♪ 257 00:13:01,089 --> 00:13:03,090 ♪ But I know, uh-huh 258 00:13:03,092 --> 00:13:04,690 ♪ That you're sad 259 00:13:04,692 --> 00:13:07,193 ♪ And I know I'll make you happy ♪ 260 00:13:07,195 --> 00:13:09,294 ♪ With the one thing that you never had ♪ 261 00:13:09,296 --> 00:13:11,197 ♪ Baby 262 00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:14,267 ♪ I'm your man 263 00:13:14,269 --> 00:13:16,434 ♪ Don't you know that? 264 00:13:16,436 --> 00:13:18,169 ♪ Baby 265 00:13:18,171 --> 00:13:20,774 ♪ I'm your man 266 00:13:22,309 --> 00:13:23,809 ♪ You bet! 267 00:13:23,811 --> 00:13:25,677 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right ♪ 268 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,211 ♪ Do it with me 269 00:13:27,213 --> 00:13:29,113 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right ♪ 270 00:13:29,115 --> 00:13:30,681 ♪ Do it with me 271 00:13:30,683 --> 00:13:33,618 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right. ♪ 272 00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,788 (PEOPLE COUGHING) 273 00:13:38,292 --> 00:13:41,425 Sir? Sir, I've just had a fax through from HQ. 274 00:13:41,427 --> 00:13:43,427 Background checks on all the guests 275 00:13:43,429 --> 00:13:45,329 that accessed the Wi-Fi network. 276 00:13:45,331 --> 00:13:47,331 You see? Who needs e-mail? 277 00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,832 Un peu de champagne, monsieurs? 278 00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:49,834 Oh. 279 00:13:49,836 --> 00:13:53,336 Danke schön. 280 00:13:53,338 --> 00:13:57,141 Um... one name has raised a red flag, sir. 281 00:13:57,143 --> 00:14:00,443 Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army and Military Intelligence. 282 00:14:00,445 --> 00:14:03,814 Now selling his services to the highest bidder. 283 00:14:03,816 --> 00:14:05,515 Where do we find him? 284 00:14:05,517 --> 00:14:06,849 Directly ahead, sir. 285 00:14:06,851 --> 00:14:09,551 He's got an 8:00 reservation 286 00:14:09,553 --> 00:14:12,422 at the Côte de Roc restaurant. 287 00:14:12,424 --> 00:14:14,525 - ♪ - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 288 00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:21,630 - WAITER: Your usual, Monsieur Lynch? - Champagne is great. 289 00:14:21,632 --> 00:14:23,665 BOUGH: The problem is gonna be getting close enough 290 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:25,499 for a full surveillance, sir. 291 00:14:25,501 --> 00:14:27,503 Not necessarily. 292 00:14:29,238 --> 00:14:31,842 (LIVELY FRENCH CHATTER IN KITCHEN) 293 00:14:42,585 --> 00:14:44,251 (PHONE CHIMES) 294 00:14:44,253 --> 00:14:45,854 LYNCH: Viola, darling, I've just got to get this. 295 00:14:45,856 --> 00:14:47,555 Two seconds. 296 00:14:47,557 --> 00:14:49,824 Simple plan, two parts. 297 00:14:49,826 --> 00:14:52,459 You provide the distraction, I'll get the phone. 298 00:14:52,461 --> 00:14:54,862 - Yes, sir. - And from now on... 299 00:14:54,864 --> 00:14:57,196 (FRENCH ACCENT): perhaps we should zound 300 00:14:57,198 --> 00:15:00,202 like French waiters. 301 00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:03,737 (FRENCH ACCENT): French waiters? 302 00:15:03,739 --> 00:15:05,874 Yees. 303 00:15:06,975 --> 00:15:08,709 (WHISPERS): Go on. 304 00:15:11,379 --> 00:15:13,479 And... done. 305 00:15:13,481 --> 00:15:16,281 Are you finished now? 306 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,683 (FRENCH ACCENT): Bread roll? 307 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,551 Yes, thank you. 308 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:23,489 BOUGH: Excellent choice, madame. 309 00:15:23,491 --> 00:15:27,427 (FRENCH ACCENT): Good evening. How are you? 310 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,997 - Bread roll, sir? - LYNCH: Yes. Thank you. 311 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:34,367 (HUMMING TUNE) 312 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:36,835 (SCOFFS) 313 00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:39,369 (WHISPERS): One second. 314 00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,406 Excuse me. Uh, would you mind? 315 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,807 Oh. Yees. 316 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:43,843 Evening. 317 00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:46,445 Evening. 318 00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,782 Yees. 319 00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:53,318 (GASPS SOFTLY) 320 00:16:00,325 --> 00:16:01,927 Zank you. 321 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,568 Mm. 322 00:16:12,303 --> 00:16:13,937 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 323 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:16,373 - (RINGTONE PLAYING) - LYNCH: Where's my phone? 324 00:16:18,042 --> 00:16:20,043 VIOLA: That is your phone. 325 00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:21,978 (GRUNTING) 326 00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,379 - Whew. Whew. - (RINGTONE CONTINUES PLAYING) 327 00:16:24,381 --> 00:16:25,780 (EXHALES) 328 00:16:25,782 --> 00:16:27,482 (MUFFLED RINGTONE) 329 00:16:27,484 --> 00:16:29,451 Thank you. 330 00:16:29,453 --> 00:16:31,020 (TURNS OFF RINGTONE) 331 00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:33,287 Monsieur. Uh, the, uh, 332 00:16:33,289 --> 00:16:37,358 the shell on my wife's lobster, could you remove it, please? 333 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,528 Mm, yees. 334 00:16:40,629 --> 00:16:42,564 Uh, um... 335 00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:43,998 Hmm. 336 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,701 Uh... 337 00:16:47,703 --> 00:16:50,371 Let me crack it for you. 338 00:16:51,474 --> 00:16:52,906 (LOW GRUNTING) 339 00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:55,577 (RATTLING) 340 00:17:00,749 --> 00:17:03,716 (GRUNTING, RATTLING) 341 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,886 - (SNAP) - Oh! - Ooh! 342 00:17:05,888 --> 00:17:07,020 Ow. 343 00:17:07,022 --> 00:17:08,822 - Oh. - Qu'est-ce que tu fais? 344 00:17:08,824 --> 00:17:11,023 Qu'est-ce que tu fais? Les crevettes... 345 00:17:11,025 --> 00:17:14,295 Flambez. Flambez les crevettes. 346 00:17:26,573 --> 00:17:28,509 - Ooh! - Ooh! 347 00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:32,478 (CHUCKLING, HUMMING) 348 00:17:35,414 --> 00:17:36,581 - (RINGTONE PLAYING) - Oh, not again. 349 00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:37,715 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 350 00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:39,517 Give me two seconds. Hello? 351 00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:42,553 (GASPING, SCREAMING) 352 00:17:42,555 --> 00:17:44,487 - WOMAN: Oh, God! - LYNCH: Steve, I'll have to call you back. 353 00:17:44,489 --> 00:17:45,489 I'll call you back. 354 00:17:46,959 --> 00:17:48,561 Give me a sec. 355 00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:56,733 Sebastian, don't get involved. 356 00:17:56,735 --> 00:17:59,369 (ENGLISH MUMBLES WITH FRENCH ACCENT) 357 00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:01,704 (CHUCKLING QUIETLY) 358 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,439 Mm, mm. 359 00:18:03,441 --> 00:18:05,410 (EXASPERATED SIGH) 360 00:18:06,978 --> 00:18:09,013 - WOMAN: What is he doing? - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 361 00:18:09,015 --> 00:18:10,715 There we are. 362 00:18:13,584 --> 00:18:15,319 Voilà. 363 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,992 Mm. Bon appétit. 364 00:18:23,994 --> 00:18:25,396 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 365 00:18:27,664 --> 00:18:29,099 I will talk to the manager. 366 00:18:32,535 --> 00:18:33,938 (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 367 00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:42,045 ENGLISH: Textbook, Bough. 368 00:18:46,649 --> 00:18:49,083 BOUGH: Just holiday snaps, sir. 369 00:18:49,085 --> 00:18:51,119 Wait a minute. This photo. 370 00:18:51,121 --> 00:18:53,988 It was taken the same day our villain accessed the Wi-Fi. 371 00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:55,755 And look. 372 00:18:55,757 --> 00:18:58,959 Scarcely 50 feet from shore. 373 00:18:58,961 --> 00:19:01,428 Whoever was on that yacht 374 00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:03,998 could easily have used the hotel's Wi-Fi, 375 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,600 sent that signal, and then just sailed away. 376 00:19:07,602 --> 00:19:09,002 ENGLISH: I think it's time 377 00:19:09,004 --> 00:19:12,671 we paid the Dot Calm a visit. 378 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:16,442 (PANICKED SHOUTS, YELLING) 379 00:19:16,444 --> 00:19:18,844 (GLASS SHATTERING, FLAMES WHOOSHING) 380 00:19:18,846 --> 00:19:21,116 (SHOUTING, SCREAMING) 381 00:19:24,085 --> 00:19:26,085 VOLTA: Algorithms. 382 00:19:26,087 --> 00:19:28,653 We are surrounded by them. 383 00:19:28,655 --> 00:19:30,990 Algorithms run our lives, 384 00:19:30,992 --> 00:19:33,625 choose our TV shows, stream our music, 385 00:19:33,627 --> 00:19:35,493 even find us a date. 386 00:19:35,495 --> 00:19:37,096 - (LAUGHTER) - MAN: Yeah, man! 387 00:19:37,098 --> 00:19:38,898 I know this chap, don't I? 388 00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:40,965 Yes, he's that Silicon Valley billionaire 389 00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:42,699 who dated a Kardashian. 390 00:19:42,701 --> 00:19:43,968 Two Kardashians. 391 00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:45,769 And a Black Eyed Pea. Keep watching. 392 00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,771 VOLTA: But supposing there was an algorithm 393 00:19:47,773 --> 00:19:49,107 for an entire country. 394 00:19:49,109 --> 00:19:50,842 A single algorithm that could be applied 395 00:19:50,844 --> 00:19:52,676 to every one of its problems. 396 00:19:52,678 --> 00:19:55,079 A single algorithm that could take a second-rate nation 397 00:19:55,081 --> 00:19:56,981 and make it... 398 00:19:56,983 --> 00:20:00,550 - world-class. - (APPLAUSE, WHOOPING) 399 00:20:00,552 --> 00:20:03,186 VOLTA: Every nation is awash with data, 400 00:20:03,188 --> 00:20:04,687 so now, more than ever, 401 00:20:04,689 --> 00:20:06,823 we need to put that data to work 402 00:20:06,825 --> 00:20:08,624 for the people. 403 00:20:08,626 --> 00:20:11,760 These few lines of code will deliver the kind of change 404 00:20:11,762 --> 00:20:14,596 they have been dreaming of their entire lives. 405 00:20:14,598 --> 00:20:17,900 (OVER PHONE): I am Xander. I love data. 406 00:20:17,902 --> 00:20:20,102 (WHOOPING) 407 00:20:20,104 --> 00:20:22,637 He's so clever. 408 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:25,674 He's young, he's sexy, he's insanely successful. 409 00:20:25,676 --> 00:20:28,612 Just the qualities we need people to associate with me. 410 00:20:30,148 --> 00:20:32,114 - Yes, Prime Minister. - And they will do 411 00:20:32,116 --> 00:20:33,983 when he starts working with us. 412 00:20:33,985 --> 00:20:36,750 But why would a Silicon Valley billionaire work with us? 413 00:20:36,752 --> 00:20:39,187 Just... get him into Number 10 and let me work on him. 414 00:20:39,189 --> 00:20:40,924 - Yes, ma'am. - Go on. 415 00:20:42,025 --> 00:20:43,757 (CLEARS THROAT) 416 00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:45,159 Oh, God, now what? 417 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,860 There's been another attack, Prime Minister. 418 00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:48,761 - Oh... - Air Traffic Control. 419 00:20:48,763 --> 00:20:52,166 Someone's rerouted every flight in Europe to Luton. 420 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,667 For God's sake, tell me the agent you've got in the field 421 00:20:54,669 --> 00:20:56,237 is making some progress. 422 00:20:56,239 --> 00:20:58,975 - (PANICKED SHOUTING) - (SIREN BLARING) 423 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,744 ♪ 424 00:21:04,746 --> 00:21:06,745 BOUGH: So, how are we gonna find 425 00:21:06,747 --> 00:21:08,781 the location of that yacht, sir? 426 00:21:08,783 --> 00:21:10,783 ENGLISH: Very easily, Bough. 427 00:21:10,785 --> 00:21:12,821 We ring MI7. 428 00:21:15,824 --> 00:21:18,623 Hello? Hello? Uh, yes, I need the location 429 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,829 - of a boat called... - (RAPID BEEPING) 430 00:21:22,831 --> 00:21:24,562 - (BEEPING STOPS) - Hello? 431 00:21:24,564 --> 00:21:27,834 Hello. Yes. Uh, a boat called the Dot Calm. 432 00:21:27,836 --> 00:21:29,234 Yes, it's a play on words. 433 00:21:29,236 --> 00:21:30,601 Yeah. Where? 434 00:21:30,603 --> 00:21:32,205 - (RAPID BEEPING) - (COINS CLACKING) 435 00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:34,507 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 436 00:21:37,244 --> 00:21:39,911 BOUGH: Looks about half a mile out, sir. 437 00:21:39,913 --> 00:21:43,081 Do we want to try and swim it, or...? 438 00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:44,682 No, Bough. 439 00:21:44,684 --> 00:21:46,784 This is a job for the shoebox inflatable. 440 00:21:46,786 --> 00:21:48,720 No! Don't open it in the car, sir! 441 00:21:51,623 --> 00:21:54,291 (AIRBAGS SQUEAKING AGAINST WINDOWS) 442 00:21:54,293 --> 00:21:58,628 Can you reach your door handle? 443 00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:00,662 (SQUEAKING) 444 00:22:00,664 --> 00:22:02,365 Uh, no, sir. 445 00:22:02,367 --> 00:22:05,235 I'll try my side. 446 00:22:05,237 --> 00:22:08,072 (SQUEAKING) 447 00:22:08,074 --> 00:22:10,008 ♪ 448 00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:24,820 Right, Bough, our aim is to get on board 449 00:22:24,822 --> 00:22:26,721 without anyone noticing. 450 00:22:26,723 --> 00:22:29,058 And how we're gonna do it: 451 00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:31,326 - magnetic boots. - Brilliant, sir. 452 00:22:31,328 --> 00:22:33,661 Simple mechanism. 453 00:22:33,663 --> 00:22:35,264 Left switch activates left boot. 454 00:22:35,266 --> 00:22:36,932 Right switch activates right. 455 00:22:36,934 --> 00:22:38,332 Okay. 456 00:22:38,334 --> 00:22:40,336 Let's go. 457 00:22:53,950 --> 00:22:57,819 Remember, the absolutely vital element of this mission 458 00:22:57,821 --> 00:22:59,888 is surprise. 459 00:23:19,241 --> 00:23:21,307 (BOTH GRUNTING) 460 00:23:21,309 --> 00:23:23,242 Now, you have to get up pretty early in the morning 461 00:23:23,244 --> 00:23:25,712 to outwit British Intelligence. 462 00:23:27,681 --> 00:23:29,315 (GRUNTING) 463 00:23:29,317 --> 00:23:31,716 (BOTH SIGH) 464 00:23:31,718 --> 00:23:32,987 Quick. 465 00:23:35,822 --> 00:23:37,958 (ALARM BLARING) 466 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,860 - (ALARM STOPS) - OPHELIA: Good evening, gentlemen. 467 00:23:41,862 --> 00:23:45,063 Shall we start with your names? 468 00:23:45,065 --> 00:23:49,267 Clearly you have no idea who you're dealing with. 469 00:23:49,269 --> 00:23:52,736 That's why I'm starting with your names. 470 00:23:52,738 --> 00:23:54,938 Actually, would you mind coming down here? 471 00:23:54,940 --> 00:23:57,909 It's really hard to have a conversation like this. 472 00:23:57,911 --> 00:24:00,811 I have a better idea. 473 00:24:00,813 --> 00:24:02,780 (GRUNTING) 474 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,953 It's no good. It won't move, sir. 475 00:24:09,955 --> 00:24:12,489 (SCOFFS) We'll see about that. 476 00:24:12,491 --> 00:24:15,193 Low-intensity exploding cotton bud. 477 00:24:17,395 --> 00:24:19,028 (BEEP) 478 00:24:19,030 --> 00:24:20,196 That's quite a powerful charge 479 00:24:20,198 --> 00:24:21,763 for such a small space, sir. 480 00:24:21,765 --> 00:24:23,199 Oh, nonsense. 481 00:24:23,201 --> 00:24:24,967 (LOW WHIRRING) 482 00:24:24,969 --> 00:24:27,805 There'll just be a slight pop. 483 00:24:28,939 --> 00:24:31,042 (BOOMING EXPLOSION) 484 00:24:32,110 --> 00:24:34,442 (BOTH COUGHING) 485 00:24:34,444 --> 00:24:36,378 (QUIETLY): Shall we locate the hold 486 00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:38,313 and look for the source of that signal? 487 00:24:38,315 --> 00:24:40,282 (LOUDLY): I think we should locate the hold 488 00:24:40,284 --> 00:24:42,217 and look for the source of that signal! 489 00:24:42,219 --> 00:24:43,719 - Shh, shh, shh. - (MEN SHOUTING) 490 00:24:44,988 --> 00:24:47,190 - Come on! - Shh, shh, shh, shh. 491 00:24:51,061 --> 00:24:52,995 ♪ 492 00:24:58,501 --> 00:25:00,767 I'd say we have our villain, Bough! 493 00:25:00,769 --> 00:25:03,303 Shh, shh, shh. You need to keep your voice down, sir. 494 00:25:03,305 --> 00:25:06,774 (WHISPERS): Ah. And we're not going to lose him. 495 00:25:20,121 --> 00:25:21,856 Hand me the sherbet fountain. 496 00:25:24,858 --> 00:25:27,960 Three sucks, and the location transmitter is activated. 497 00:25:27,962 --> 00:25:31,897 This gin palace'll show up as a hostile from 30,000 feet. 498 00:25:31,899 --> 00:25:33,899 Hmm. 499 00:25:33,901 --> 00:25:37,503 (QUIET BEEPING) 500 00:25:40,106 --> 00:25:44,009 This is now an enemy target. 501 00:25:44,011 --> 00:25:45,879 - (DOOR CLOSES) - (INDISTINCT VOICES) 502 00:25:48,449 --> 00:25:51,182 Aniseed balls. 503 00:25:51,184 --> 00:25:53,117 (INDISTINCT VOICES) 504 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,953 (GROANING) 505 00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:58,023 ♪ 506 00:25:59,592 --> 00:26:01,125 (GRUNTS) 507 00:26:01,127 --> 00:26:03,062 - (GUN COCKS) - (SPLASH) 508 00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:08,533 If you'd wanted to kill me, you would have already done so. 509 00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:13,839 Till we meet again. 510 00:26:17,442 --> 00:26:20,178 - (BODY THUMPS) - (GROANING) 511 00:26:21,445 --> 00:26:23,613 Ow... 512 00:26:23,615 --> 00:26:25,114 Ooh... 513 00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:27,516 - (JOINTS CRACKING) - Ooh. Ooh. 514 00:26:27,518 --> 00:26:30,185 Well, that was sooner than I expected. 515 00:26:30,187 --> 00:26:32,021 (GROANS SOFTLY) 516 00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:33,522 Ooh. 517 00:26:33,524 --> 00:26:36,325 Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 518 00:26:36,327 --> 00:26:37,425 Oh... 519 00:26:37,427 --> 00:26:39,260 (SPLASH) 520 00:26:39,262 --> 00:26:42,331 BOUGH: Who do you think she is, sir? 521 00:26:42,333 --> 00:26:44,932 Well, if she's not the owner of that yacht, 522 00:26:44,934 --> 00:26:46,601 then she knows who is. 523 00:26:46,603 --> 00:26:51,305 Either way, she's the key to this case. 524 00:26:51,307 --> 00:26:53,974 Is it true you were teaching, sir? 525 00:26:53,976 --> 00:26:55,642 Before all this blew up? 526 00:26:55,644 --> 00:26:59,946 If by "teaching," you mean scouting 527 00:26:59,948 --> 00:27:03,083 for potential intelligence operatives, then... 528 00:27:03,085 --> 00:27:05,452 - yes, I was. - Hmm. 529 00:27:05,454 --> 00:27:07,453 I actually got married, sir. 530 00:27:07,455 --> 00:27:10,259 I... well, I don't know if you heard. 531 00:27:11,527 --> 00:27:13,327 No. 532 00:27:13,329 --> 00:27:14,493 Hmm. 533 00:27:14,495 --> 00:27:16,228 Yeah, Lydia. 534 00:27:16,230 --> 00:27:17,599 Lovely girl. 535 00:27:20,668 --> 00:27:23,336 You never think about getting hitched yourself, sir? 536 00:27:23,338 --> 00:27:25,604 (CHUCKLES) This is no life 537 00:27:25,606 --> 00:27:28,607 for a married man, Bough. The danger, 538 00:27:28,609 --> 00:27:30,009 - the constant travel... - Here you go, sir. 539 00:27:30,011 --> 00:27:31,177 - Oh. - Thank you. 540 00:27:31,179 --> 00:27:33,081 More Lydia's life than mine, sir. 541 00:27:34,481 --> 00:27:37,015 She's in the Navy, you see. 542 00:27:37,017 --> 00:27:40,051 What, as a cook? Or some kind of... 543 00:27:40,053 --> 00:27:42,587 - seagoing secretary or...? - Oh, no, sir. 544 00:27:42,589 --> 00:27:45,058 She's the captain of a nuclear submarine. 545 00:27:46,158 --> 00:27:48,095 - Oh, right. - Mm. 546 00:27:50,030 --> 00:27:54,299 D-Do you think we should get some petrol for the Aston, sir? 547 00:27:54,301 --> 00:27:58,537 Nah. An Aston Martin is surprisingly economical, Bough. 548 00:28:00,239 --> 00:28:03,876 Besides, it looks like we're in business. 549 00:28:06,711 --> 00:28:10,048 ♪ 550 00:28:17,122 --> 00:28:18,623 Come on. 551 00:28:19,724 --> 00:28:21,559 (HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING) 552 00:28:26,030 --> 00:28:28,698 - BOUGH: Looks like an electric car, sir. - Yes, 553 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:30,565 and sounds like a nose hair trimmer. 554 00:28:30,567 --> 00:28:32,135 (REVS ENGINE) 555 00:28:32,137 --> 00:28:34,202 ENGLISH: A bunch of triple-A batteries 556 00:28:34,204 --> 00:28:37,172 is no match for old-fashioned British horsepower. 557 00:28:37,174 --> 00:28:40,177 (ENGINE ROARING) 558 00:28:51,587 --> 00:28:53,154 (ENGINE ROARING) 559 00:28:53,156 --> 00:28:55,591 ♪ 560 00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,726 BOUGH: Look at her cornering. 561 00:28:59,728 --> 00:29:01,998 Seems so effortless, doesn't it, sir? 562 00:29:15,644 --> 00:29:16,644 (BEEPING) 563 00:29:22,183 --> 00:29:24,384 (TIRES SCREECH) 564 00:29:24,386 --> 00:29:25,586 (BOUGH GROANS) 565 00:29:30,624 --> 00:29:31,624 (SIGHS) 566 00:29:37,664 --> 00:29:40,532 (HONKING HORN) 567 00:29:40,534 --> 00:29:42,401 Arm the missile. 568 00:29:42,403 --> 00:29:44,169 The wh-what? 569 00:29:44,171 --> 00:29:46,404 The missile, Bough, the one with the tear gas warhead. 570 00:29:46,406 --> 00:29:47,505 But they're just cyclists, sir. 571 00:29:47,507 --> 00:29:49,173 I mean, w-we'll get past in a minute. 572 00:29:49,175 --> 00:29:51,209 They're French cyclists, Bough, and they're obstructing 573 00:29:51,211 --> 00:29:52,445 Her Majesty's Secret Service. 574 00:30:00,453 --> 00:30:02,352 BOUGH: Wiper stalk is armed, sir. 575 00:30:02,354 --> 00:30:03,422 (BEEP) 576 00:30:09,194 --> 00:30:11,660 (COUGHING, CHATTERING IN FRENCH) 577 00:30:11,662 --> 00:30:13,831 BOUGH: Sorry. Terribly sorry. 578 00:30:13,833 --> 00:30:15,833 - We do apologize. - Stop it, Bough. 579 00:30:15,835 --> 00:30:17,668 You'll only encourage them. 580 00:30:19,204 --> 00:30:21,136 (CHUCKLES) 581 00:30:21,138 --> 00:30:23,105 (TIRES SQUEAL) 582 00:30:23,107 --> 00:30:25,510 ♪ 583 00:30:33,183 --> 00:30:35,783 - What are we gonna do now, sir? - Patience, Bough. 584 00:30:35,785 --> 00:30:39,354 Driving like that, her battery will be dead any moment, 585 00:30:39,356 --> 00:30:42,757 and she'll roll to a humiliating stop. 586 00:30:42,759 --> 00:30:45,695 (ENGINE CHUGGING, CLICKING) 587 00:30:47,330 --> 00:30:49,266 (CHUGGING CONTINUES) 588 00:30:54,437 --> 00:30:56,705 (RAPID CHUGGING) 589 00:30:58,808 --> 00:31:01,308 (ENGINE STOPS) 590 00:31:01,310 --> 00:31:05,114 Bough, it is your job to keep an eye on the fuel gauge. 591 00:31:13,222 --> 00:31:15,490 Very impressive driving, Mr....? 592 00:31:16,759 --> 00:31:18,724 Golightly. 593 00:31:18,726 --> 00:31:22,528 Basil Golightly. 594 00:31:22,530 --> 00:31:26,599 And you're rather useful yourself, Miss...? 595 00:31:26,601 --> 00:31:28,199 Bhuletova. 596 00:31:28,201 --> 00:31:30,202 Ophelia Bhuletova. 597 00:31:30,204 --> 00:31:31,369 Hmm. 598 00:31:31,371 --> 00:31:33,305 And this is...? 599 00:31:33,307 --> 00:31:35,240 Colin. 600 00:31:35,242 --> 00:31:38,476 I thought we were using fake names. 601 00:31:38,478 --> 00:31:41,315 (WHISPERS): That is a fake name. 602 00:31:44,151 --> 00:31:46,384 Oh, right. 603 00:31:46,386 --> 00:31:49,156 Yes, this is Colin. 604 00:31:50,423 --> 00:31:52,224 And I'm... 605 00:31:55,361 --> 00:31:57,227 (QUIETLY): Dasil. 606 00:31:57,229 --> 00:31:58,495 Dasil. 607 00:31:58,497 --> 00:31:59,931 Mm, Basil. 608 00:31:59,933 --> 00:32:01,833 Well... 609 00:32:01,835 --> 00:32:03,534 Basil... 610 00:32:03,536 --> 00:32:05,702 maybe there's a simpler way of doing this. 611 00:32:05,704 --> 00:32:07,637 Over a drink perhaps? 612 00:32:07,639 --> 00:32:09,472 Well, that'd be lovely. 613 00:32:09,474 --> 00:32:11,174 Shall we say... 614 00:32:11,176 --> 00:32:14,777 the bar at the Hotel de Paris in Cagnes-sur-Mer? 8:00? 615 00:32:14,779 --> 00:32:16,880 Hmm. It's a date. 616 00:32:16,882 --> 00:32:18,748 (HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING) 617 00:32:18,750 --> 00:32:22,552 (ENGLISH CHUCKLES) 618 00:32:22,554 --> 00:32:26,288 Well... I think my "running out of fuel" ruse 619 00:32:26,290 --> 00:32:28,357 worked pretty well. 620 00:32:28,359 --> 00:32:29,793 Mm. 621 00:32:32,630 --> 00:32:34,630 PRIME MINISTER: What? 622 00:32:34,632 --> 00:32:35,630 (STAMMERS) Junior doctors... they've confirmed 623 00:32:35,632 --> 00:32:37,265 they are going on strike, 624 00:32:37,267 --> 00:32:38,500 and the tube drivers are coming out in support. 625 00:32:38,502 --> 00:32:39,802 Oh, God. Leader of the Opposition, 626 00:32:39,804 --> 00:32:41,769 has he come round from his heart surgery? 627 00:32:41,771 --> 00:32:43,537 - Yes, Prime Minister. - Oh, Jesus Christ, 628 00:32:43,539 --> 00:32:46,374 when will something go right for me? What do you want? 629 00:32:46,376 --> 00:32:49,311 They've, uh, hit us again, Prime Minister. 630 00:32:49,313 --> 00:32:51,646 - Huh? - Hacked into the Central Traffic Control System. 631 00:32:51,648 --> 00:32:55,884 Yes, they've turned every traffic light in London to red. 632 00:32:55,886 --> 00:32:57,718 - (HORNS HONKING IN DISTANCE) - (GROANS) 633 00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,520 Where's my bloody drink? 634 00:32:59,522 --> 00:33:03,356 You've got to be joking. Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic. 635 00:33:03,358 --> 00:33:05,359 - Yes, ma'am. - Oh, and Mr. Volta's arrived, ma'am. 636 00:33:06,728 --> 00:33:08,296 (CLEARS THROAT) 637 00:33:09,364 --> 00:33:11,464 Mr. Volta. 638 00:33:11,466 --> 00:33:12,967 Welcome to Downing Street. 639 00:33:12,969 --> 00:33:15,769 I have read so much about this wonderful building. 640 00:33:15,771 --> 00:33:17,770 Is this the stone triple staircase 641 00:33:17,772 --> 00:33:19,638 - designed by William Kent? - Um... 642 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,573 yes, it probably... is. I can't swear to it. 643 00:33:21,575 --> 00:33:23,877 - I mean, I'm not very good... - Can we do a quick...? 644 00:33:23,879 --> 00:33:25,411 XANDER: Needs Photoshop. 645 00:33:25,413 --> 00:33:26,779 (CHUCKLES): Oh, that's very... 646 00:33:26,781 --> 00:33:29,448 - Uh, th-this way. - I am horribly late. 647 00:33:29,450 --> 00:33:31,250 I do apologize. It's the traffic. 648 00:33:31,252 --> 00:33:32,986 It's the one thing I don't love about London. 649 00:33:32,988 --> 00:33:35,587 Yes, um, well, I must admit we are having a slight problem 650 00:33:35,589 --> 00:33:36,889 with the lights at the moment, 651 00:33:36,891 --> 00:33:38,489 - but nothing major. - If you wanted, 652 00:33:38,491 --> 00:33:40,592 I could take a look; it is kind of what I do. 653 00:33:40,594 --> 00:33:42,961 I think it, well, it's actually a little bit more complex 654 00:33:42,963 --> 00:33:45,030 - than... - Xander, get a Web address 655 00:33:45,032 --> 00:33:47,032 for London's traffic control center. 656 00:33:47,034 --> 00:33:49,835 - (ELECTRONIC CHIME) - XANDER: Here's the login page, Jason. 657 00:33:49,837 --> 00:33:51,438 Do you have a password? 658 00:33:53,873 --> 00:33:55,572 W... Um... 659 00:33:55,574 --> 00:33:58,042 Uh, I-I... 660 00:33:58,044 --> 00:33:59,510 I won't tell if you won't. 661 00:33:59,512 --> 00:34:01,012 Right you are. 662 00:34:01,014 --> 00:34:02,345 (ELECTRONIC CHIME) 663 00:34:02,347 --> 00:34:03,747 XANDER: Bypassing security. 664 00:34:03,749 --> 00:34:05,482 Security bypassed. 665 00:34:05,484 --> 00:34:07,051 Oh, that's terrific. 666 00:34:07,053 --> 00:34:09,753 Someone is hacking you. 667 00:34:09,755 --> 00:34:11,687 Oh, I don't think so, no. 668 00:34:11,689 --> 00:34:13,790 Denied service attack. Yeah. 669 00:34:13,792 --> 00:34:16,292 Primitive but effective. 670 00:34:16,294 --> 00:34:18,461 You know what we could try? 671 00:34:18,463 --> 00:34:22,565 Rerouting all service requests to our server farm in Nevada. 672 00:34:22,567 --> 00:34:23,799 Um... 673 00:34:23,802 --> 00:34:25,568 I... 674 00:34:25,570 --> 00:34:28,437 - (ELECTRONIC CHIME) - XANDER: Rerouting, Jason. 675 00:34:28,439 --> 00:34:30,241 Rerouting complete. 676 00:34:31,508 --> 00:34:33,541 (HONKING STOPS, TRAFFIC WHOOSHING) 677 00:34:33,543 --> 00:34:36,511 (CHUCKLES): Oh, crikey. 678 00:34:36,513 --> 00:34:40,315 So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about? 679 00:34:40,317 --> 00:34:42,818 You, Jason. 680 00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:45,019 (MOUTHS) 681 00:34:45,021 --> 00:34:46,823 I want to talk about you. 682 00:34:53,729 --> 00:34:57,366 (BOUGH GRUNTING) 683 00:35:00,736 --> 00:35:02,736 ENGLISH: Excellent, Bough. 684 00:35:02,738 --> 00:35:04,638 Nearly there. 685 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,639 - Nearly there. - (CONTINUES GRUNTING) 686 00:35:06,641 --> 00:35:09,877 This is actually a really nice hotel, Bough. 687 00:35:09,879 --> 00:35:13,579 I'm turning to the right... 688 00:35:13,581 --> 00:35:16,518 (MELLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) 689 00:35:24,994 --> 00:35:27,927 Should one of us keep Miss Bhuletova busy 690 00:35:27,929 --> 00:35:30,129 while the other one searches her room, sir? 691 00:35:30,131 --> 00:35:32,132 Good idea, Bough. 692 00:35:32,134 --> 00:35:34,936 Alert me if you find anything. 693 00:35:36,537 --> 00:35:38,472 ♪ 694 00:35:46,547 --> 00:35:49,917 - (ENGLISH PLAYS SHORT MELODY) - (PIANIST STOPS) 695 00:35:52,953 --> 00:35:54,720 (PIANIST RESUMES PLAYING) 696 00:35:56,123 --> 00:35:57,890 Mr. Golightly. 697 00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,060 Oh. 698 00:36:02,062 --> 00:36:03,761 Indeed. 699 00:36:03,763 --> 00:36:06,462 I thought perhaps you weren't coming. 700 00:36:06,464 --> 00:36:07,832 On the contrary. 701 00:36:07,834 --> 00:36:10,633 Wild horses couldn't keep me away. 702 00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:12,602 Madame? Monsieur? 703 00:36:12,604 --> 00:36:14,872 Evening. What would you like? 704 00:36:14,874 --> 00:36:17,673 I'm feeling a little homesick tonight. 705 00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:19,045 I'll have a Moscow Mule. 706 00:36:22,547 --> 00:36:24,948 And I'll have a London... 707 00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:27,484 Lemming, please. 708 00:36:28,752 --> 00:36:31,087 I'm not sure. What...? 709 00:36:31,089 --> 00:36:33,823 It's, uh, gin... 710 00:36:33,825 --> 00:36:36,926 (SIGHS): vodka... 711 00:36:36,928 --> 00:36:38,660 Armagnac... 712 00:36:38,662 --> 00:36:40,462 sherry... 713 00:36:40,464 --> 00:36:45,000 with just a little bit of Parmesan. 714 00:36:45,002 --> 00:36:46,469 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 715 00:36:48,605 --> 00:36:50,105 So... 716 00:36:50,107 --> 00:36:52,607 what brings you to the South of France, 717 00:36:52,609 --> 00:36:54,877 Miss Bhilli... Bholly... 718 00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:58,079 - Bhuletova. - Bhuletova. 719 00:36:58,081 --> 00:36:59,779 I'm just visiting a friend of mine. 720 00:36:59,781 --> 00:37:00,781 Mm. 721 00:37:02,119 --> 00:37:03,819 (OLIVE PLOPS TO GROUND) 722 00:37:03,821 --> 00:37:07,556 And would this friend be the owner of the Dot Calm? 723 00:37:08,925 --> 00:37:11,027 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Yes, he would. 724 00:37:12,128 --> 00:37:13,861 (WOMAN SCREAMS) 725 00:37:13,863 --> 00:37:16,663 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 726 00:37:16,665 --> 00:37:18,832 And what about you... 727 00:37:18,834 --> 00:37:22,601 - Basil? - Oh, I'm just here on business. 728 00:37:22,603 --> 00:37:25,238 Although it's rapidly turning into pleasure. 729 00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:26,772 (CHUCKLES) 730 00:37:26,774 --> 00:37:27,843 Hmm. 731 00:37:29,709 --> 00:37:31,710 Ooh. I love these. 732 00:37:31,712 --> 00:37:32,915 Mmm. 733 00:37:36,716 --> 00:37:38,051 They're really hot. 734 00:37:38,053 --> 00:37:40,052 (CRUNCHING) 735 00:37:40,054 --> 00:37:42,154 Mmm. Ooh. Ooh. 736 00:37:42,156 --> 00:37:43,822 Oh. Oh. 737 00:37:43,824 --> 00:37:45,957 (WHEEZING): Oh... oh... 738 00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:48,625 - oh... oh... - Are you all right? 739 00:37:48,627 --> 00:37:50,628 Yes, fine. (EXHALES SHARPLY) 740 00:37:50,630 --> 00:37:53,831 (BREATHILY): Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, 741 00:37:53,833 --> 00:37:55,732 ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay... 742 00:37:55,734 --> 00:37:57,068 (PANTING) 743 00:37:57,070 --> 00:37:59,237 (LOW GRUNTING) 744 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:00,239 (CHUCKLES) 745 00:38:01,942 --> 00:38:03,540 Merci. 746 00:38:03,542 --> 00:38:05,977 Merci beaucou-pah. 747 00:38:05,979 --> 00:38:07,576 Cheers. 748 00:38:07,578 --> 00:38:09,746 I'm not sure I've ever met a man 749 00:38:09,748 --> 00:38:11,848 quite like you, Basil. 750 00:38:11,850 --> 00:38:15,118 Let me clear up the uncertainty for you. 751 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,120 You haven't. 752 00:38:17,122 --> 00:38:19,858 (SLURPING) 753 00:38:25,663 --> 00:38:26,798 (CLEARS THROAT) 754 00:38:28,232 --> 00:38:30,167 (CHUCKLES) 755 00:38:30,169 --> 00:38:32,168 I'm sorry, Basil, 756 00:38:32,170 --> 00:38:34,203 I have to get up really early 757 00:38:34,205 --> 00:38:36,140 - tomorrow morning. - Oh, that's a shame. 758 00:38:37,942 --> 00:38:39,743 A demain, Basil. 759 00:38:47,117 --> 00:38:49,550 How did you get on, sir? 760 00:38:49,552 --> 00:38:52,753 Oh, gosh, what a wonderful woman, Bough. Wonderful! 761 00:38:52,755 --> 00:38:55,957 - Right. - Charming, intelligent, 762 00:38:55,959 --> 00:38:57,624 lovely sense of humor. 763 00:38:57,626 --> 00:38:59,127 And obviously entirely innocent. 764 00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:01,129 Although I broke into her room, 765 00:39:01,131 --> 00:39:02,696 and she does have three passports, sir: 766 00:39:02,698 --> 00:39:04,031 Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian, 767 00:39:04,033 --> 00:39:05,765 different name in each. 768 00:39:05,767 --> 00:39:08,268 So she's been married to three different people. 769 00:39:08,270 --> 00:39:11,005 Not unusual in this day and age, Bough. 770 00:39:11,007 --> 00:39:12,739 Oh, and I also found some garroting wire 771 00:39:12,741 --> 00:39:14,640 - and two boxes of ammunition. - Well... 772 00:39:14,642 --> 00:39:16,775 single woman traveling alone. 773 00:39:16,777 --> 00:39:19,113 You can't be too careful. 774 00:39:19,115 --> 00:39:21,014 You don't think... 775 00:39:21,016 --> 00:39:22,915 she might be a spy, sir? 776 00:39:22,917 --> 00:39:25,219 A spy? (CHUCKLES) 777 00:39:25,221 --> 00:39:28,890 I think I know what a spy looks like, Bough. 778 00:39:52,846 --> 00:39:54,647 (GROANS SOFTLY) 779 00:39:58,017 --> 00:39:59,718 (EXHALES) 780 00:40:01,686 --> 00:40:02,923 (SMACKS LIPS) 781 00:40:14,366 --> 00:40:16,866 (MUMBLES) 782 00:40:16,868 --> 00:40:18,204 (SIGHS) 783 00:40:29,114 --> 00:40:30,213 Ah. 784 00:40:30,215 --> 00:40:31,280 Uh-huh. 785 00:40:31,282 --> 00:40:32,918 Uh... 786 00:40:34,985 --> 00:40:36,221 Yeah. 787 00:40:38,957 --> 00:40:40,289 (BEEPS) 788 00:40:40,291 --> 00:40:41,791 (OPENS DOOR) 789 00:40:51,935 --> 00:40:53,870 ♪ 790 00:40:57,307 --> 00:40:58,942 (GRUNTS) 791 00:41:00,810 --> 00:41:03,079 - (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 792 00:41:23,698 --> 00:41:25,968 (DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES IN DISTANCE) 793 00:41:29,404 --> 00:41:31,738 (DANCE MUSIC DISTORTS, FADES) 794 00:41:36,345 --> 00:41:38,813 (DANCE MUSIC RESUMES) 795 00:41:54,094 --> 00:41:56,727 ♪ If everything is changing 796 00:41:56,729 --> 00:41:58,830 ♪ And I know, yeah 797 00:41:58,832 --> 00:42:01,032 ♪ You gotta let go, oh-oh 798 00:42:01,034 --> 00:42:02,733 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh 799 00:42:02,735 --> 00:42:05,735 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh 800 00:42:05,737 --> 00:42:08,873 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh ♪ 801 00:42:08,875 --> 00:42:10,007 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh 802 00:42:10,009 --> 00:42:11,875 ♪ Got to let go 803 00:42:11,877 --> 00:42:13,977 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh 804 00:42:13,979 --> 00:42:16,813 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh 805 00:42:16,815 --> 00:42:19,183 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh 806 00:42:19,185 --> 00:42:20,851 ♪ Got to let go... 807 00:42:20,853 --> 00:42:22,319 (HUFFS) 808 00:42:22,321 --> 00:42:24,857 ♪ Wow! She's got it 809 00:42:26,958 --> 00:42:29,125 ♪ Yeah, baby, she's got it 810 00:42:29,127 --> 00:42:31,760 Oh! 811 00:42:31,762 --> 00:42:33,296 ♪ I'm your Venus 812 00:42:33,298 --> 00:42:34,997 ♪ I'm your fire 813 00:42:34,999 --> 00:42:36,267 ♪ At your desire 814 00:42:38,937 --> 00:42:41,137 - ♪ Well, I'm your Venus - (OPHELIA GASPS) 815 00:42:41,139 --> 00:42:42,805 ♪ I'm your fire 816 00:42:42,807 --> 00:42:44,241 ♪ At your desire 817 00:42:47,277 --> 00:42:49,010 (CHUCKLING) 818 00:42:49,012 --> 00:42:50,981 (LAUGHS) 819 00:42:54,084 --> 00:42:55,452 Mmm... oh. 820 00:42:59,356 --> 00:43:00,790 Ah. 821 00:43:03,426 --> 00:43:05,393 (BOTH GRUNT) 822 00:43:05,395 --> 00:43:07,996 ♪ She's got it 823 00:43:07,998 --> 00:43:09,964 ♪ Yeah, baby, she's got it... 824 00:43:09,966 --> 00:43:12,400 - (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) - (WOMEN WHOOPING) 825 00:43:14,070 --> 00:43:17,004 (BIRD SQUAWKING IN DISTANCE) 826 00:43:17,006 --> 00:43:19,873 ("BUMP and GRIND" BY VATO GONZALEZ PLAYING) 827 00:43:19,875 --> 00:43:20,974 ♪ Drop 828 00:43:20,976 --> 00:43:22,409 ♪ Yo, wha, bump and grind 829 00:43:22,411 --> 00:43:24,377 ♪ This one girl make you bump and grind ♪ 830 00:43:24,379 --> 00:43:26,080 ♪ Move to the left, girl, move to the right... ♪ 831 00:43:26,082 --> 00:43:27,313 Sir? 832 00:43:27,315 --> 00:43:29,282 Sir! 833 00:43:29,284 --> 00:43:31,384 I just got off the phone to P in London. 834 00:43:31,386 --> 00:43:34,320 He's found out who the owner of that yacht is. Jason Volta! 835 00:43:34,322 --> 00:43:36,055 The world's most powerful Internet billionaire, sir. 836 00:43:36,057 --> 00:43:37,456 And he's in London right now. 837 00:43:37,458 --> 00:43:39,057 The prime minister is 838 00:43:39,059 --> 00:43:41,095 personally negotiating a trade deal with him. 839 00:43:42,197 --> 00:43:44,164 Well, what are we waiting for? 840 00:43:45,132 --> 00:43:46,498 ♪ Ha! 841 00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:48,267 ♪ 842 00:43:48,269 --> 00:43:49,903 (ENGINE ROARING) 843 00:43:59,313 --> 00:44:01,379 (TIRES SQUEAL) 844 00:44:01,381 --> 00:44:03,047 ♪ When two tribes go to war 845 00:44:03,049 --> 00:44:06,050 ♪ A point is all that you can score ♪ 846 00:44:06,052 --> 00:44:08,084 ♪ Score no more, score no more ♪ 847 00:44:08,086 --> 00:44:10,054 ♪ When two tribes go to war 848 00:44:10,056 --> 00:44:12,225 MAN: Hey! 849 00:44:14,393 --> 00:44:18,296 D-D-Do you think we might slow down a little, sir? 850 00:44:18,298 --> 00:44:20,165 What?! 851 00:44:21,433 --> 00:44:23,802 Never mind! 852 00:44:25,337 --> 00:44:29,105 ♪ Yeah. 853 00:44:29,107 --> 00:44:31,273 NEWSWOMAN: With what appears to be another cyberattack, 854 00:44:31,275 --> 00:44:33,309 pressure is mounting on the prime minister. 855 00:44:33,311 --> 00:44:35,878 - Every train in England? - Yes, sir. They're all trying 856 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,280 to terminate at Bristol Temple Meads. 857 00:44:38,282 --> 00:44:40,582 (SINGING LIVELY DANCE BEAT) 858 00:44:40,584 --> 00:44:42,318 Morning, sir. 859 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,053 You see this, English? 860 00:44:44,055 --> 00:44:45,321 - Yes. - Right. 861 00:44:45,323 --> 00:44:46,488 Please. 862 00:44:46,490 --> 00:44:49,124 - (CLEARS THROAT) - Whew! 863 00:44:49,126 --> 00:44:50,325 Tell me you've got something 864 00:44:50,327 --> 00:44:52,093 I can take to the prime minister. 865 00:44:52,095 --> 00:44:55,330 Would the name of the man responsible do, sir? 866 00:44:55,332 --> 00:44:56,631 Excellent, English, yes. 867 00:44:56,633 --> 00:44:59,903 It's Jas... 868 00:45:03,005 --> 00:45:04,974 (SNORING) 869 00:45:07,010 --> 00:45:09,209 (CONTINUES SNORING) 870 00:45:09,211 --> 00:45:11,044 Volta, sir. 871 00:45:11,046 --> 00:45:14,081 - Uh, J-Jason Volta. - What?! 872 00:45:14,083 --> 00:45:16,683 You're accusing the PM's knight in shining armor? 873 00:45:16,685 --> 00:45:18,185 I'd need hard evidence. 874 00:45:18,187 --> 00:45:19,319 Plap. 875 00:45:19,321 --> 00:45:21,988 Uh, blap, plap, plap. 876 00:45:21,990 --> 00:45:23,390 (MUTTERING) 877 00:45:23,392 --> 00:45:27,960 Which... 878 00:45:27,962 --> 00:45:30,330 Is why Agent English is proposing a penetration 879 00:45:30,332 --> 00:45:32,465 of Volta's country estate in Surrey. 880 00:45:32,467 --> 00:45:35,034 (QUIETLY): Yes... yes... 881 00:45:35,036 --> 00:45:37,103 yes, yes... 882 00:45:37,105 --> 00:45:39,405 Well, do what you have to do, English. 883 00:45:39,407 --> 00:45:42,241 But for God's sake, be discreet about it. 884 00:45:42,243 --> 00:45:43,375 Oh! 885 00:45:43,377 --> 00:45:45,210 Oh, good. 886 00:45:45,212 --> 00:45:47,147 Oh. Oof. 887 00:45:52,519 --> 00:45:54,953 Virtual reality? 888 00:45:54,955 --> 00:45:56,621 That's right, sir. P's built a computer model 889 00:45:56,623 --> 00:45:58,390 of the inside of Volta's mansion. 890 00:45:58,392 --> 00:46:01,059 When you put on this headset, it will look and feel 891 00:46:01,061 --> 00:46:04,027 as if you are inside the house. You'll be able 892 00:46:04,029 --> 00:46:06,597 to open and close doors, walk up and down staircases, 893 00:46:06,599 --> 00:46:09,133 completely familiarize yourself with its layout. 894 00:46:09,135 --> 00:46:11,168 This floor moves in any direction. 895 00:46:11,170 --> 00:46:13,236 Uh, so you can walk... 896 00:46:13,238 --> 00:46:14,338 (BEEPS) 897 00:46:14,340 --> 00:46:16,373 You can walk as far as you want 898 00:46:16,375 --> 00:46:18,441 in the virtual world... 899 00:46:18,443 --> 00:46:21,144 without ever actually leaving this room. 900 00:46:21,146 --> 00:46:22,446 One thing, though, sir. 901 00:46:22,448 --> 00:46:24,081 - (BEEPS) - The experience 902 00:46:24,083 --> 00:46:25,515 can be very disorientating. 903 00:46:25,517 --> 00:46:27,150 It's completely immersive, and some people 904 00:46:27,152 --> 00:46:29,018 lose all track of their actual surroundings. 905 00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:31,254 (CHORTLES) I think we can pretty much guarantee 906 00:46:31,256 --> 00:46:33,089 that's not gonna happen. 907 00:46:33,091 --> 00:46:35,758 So I'll just need you to sign the health and safety releases. 908 00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,695 Would you excuse me while I find an iPad. 909 00:46:39,697 --> 00:46:42,231 Oh, go with him, Bough. If we don't chivy him along, 910 00:46:42,233 --> 00:46:44,168 we'll be here all day. 911 00:46:45,035 --> 00:46:46,403 (SIGHS HEAVILY) 912 00:46:48,739 --> 00:46:50,274 Hmm. 913 00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:55,076 (MUMBLES) 914 00:46:55,078 --> 00:46:57,479 (ELECTRONIC WHIRRING) 915 00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:59,183 (WHIRRING STOPS) 916 00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,087 (MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADSET) 917 00:47:06,756 --> 00:47:08,558 ♪ 918 00:47:10,493 --> 00:47:11,759 Aha. 919 00:47:11,761 --> 00:47:15,096 (MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET) 920 00:47:22,538 --> 00:47:24,537 (DOOR CREAKS) 921 00:47:24,539 --> 00:47:27,209 - (CAR HORN BEEPS) - (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 922 00:47:30,578 --> 00:47:32,679 - (TIRES SCREECH) - (HORNS HONKING) 923 00:47:32,681 --> 00:47:34,648 MAN: Watch out! 924 00:47:36,584 --> 00:47:38,385 (HORN HONKING, TIRES SCREECH) 925 00:47:39,487 --> 00:47:42,120 (BEEPING) 926 00:47:42,122 --> 00:47:44,055 (AMPLIFIED BREATHING) 927 00:47:44,057 --> 00:47:47,292 (MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET) 928 00:47:47,294 --> 00:47:49,229 ♪ 929 00:47:52,765 --> 00:47:54,201 (EXHALES) 930 00:47:55,568 --> 00:47:56,567 (GRUNTS) 931 00:47:56,569 --> 00:47:57,803 WOMAN: What the...? 932 00:47:57,805 --> 00:47:59,103 (GROANING) 933 00:47:59,105 --> 00:48:01,040 (BEEPING) 934 00:48:02,442 --> 00:48:05,443 FEMALE AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing. 935 00:48:05,445 --> 00:48:07,780 Going down. 936 00:48:15,187 --> 00:48:17,153 (GRUNTING) 937 00:48:17,155 --> 00:48:18,322 (AUTOMATIC GUNFIRE) 938 00:48:18,324 --> 00:48:20,323 (IMITATING AUTOMATIC GUNFIRE) 939 00:48:20,325 --> 00:48:23,128 - What on earth are you doing? - Hey. 940 00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:30,135 (BEEPING) 941 00:48:35,139 --> 00:48:37,406 - (TIRES SCREECH) - (PANTING) 942 00:48:37,408 --> 00:48:39,341 (DOG YAPS) 943 00:48:39,343 --> 00:48:40,877 (WHINES) 944 00:48:40,879 --> 00:48:43,180 (MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADSET) 945 00:48:45,181 --> 00:48:46,450 (GRUNTS) 946 00:49:07,303 --> 00:49:09,503 - Hey! - Oh! 947 00:49:09,505 --> 00:49:11,471 (GRUNTING) 948 00:49:11,473 --> 00:49:13,206 (WHIMPERING) 949 00:49:13,208 --> 00:49:15,342 - (GASPS, YELLS) - (TIRES SCREECH) 950 00:49:15,344 --> 00:49:16,410 (YELLS) 951 00:49:16,412 --> 00:49:17,746 - (HORNS HONKING) - (CHUCKLES) 952 00:49:23,819 --> 00:49:25,752 Sorry, sir, but you're going to have to leave. 953 00:49:25,754 --> 00:49:27,486 Ow! Wha...? 954 00:49:27,488 --> 00:49:28,589 Ow! 955 00:49:28,591 --> 00:49:29,689 Don't... 956 00:49:29,691 --> 00:49:31,192 (GRUNTING) 957 00:49:32,393 --> 00:49:33,393 Aah! 958 00:49:34,529 --> 00:49:35,728 (EXHALES): Ah... 959 00:49:35,730 --> 00:49:36,730 (CHUCKLES) 960 00:49:37,599 --> 00:49:38,599 (GLASS SHATTERS) 961 00:49:41,735 --> 00:49:44,269 (AMPLIFIED BREATHING) 962 00:49:44,271 --> 00:49:46,206 ♪ 963 00:49:48,175 --> 00:49:49,509 (BELL CLANGING) 964 00:49:51,578 --> 00:49:53,645 TOUR GUIDE: So, we'll shortly be arriving 965 00:49:53,647 --> 00:49:56,448 at Admiralty House, and that actually used to be 966 00:49:56,450 --> 00:49:59,353 Oliver Cromwell's own house. Um... 967 00:50:00,686 --> 00:50:01,954 Uh... 968 00:50:01,956 --> 00:50:03,688 and then we'll be... 969 00:50:03,690 --> 00:50:06,191 going to Horse Guards Parade. 970 00:50:06,193 --> 00:50:08,726 - (GRUNTING) - Ah... 971 00:50:08,728 --> 00:50:10,527 Perhaps you'd like to sit down, sir. 972 00:50:10,529 --> 00:50:11,863 Aah! Ooh! 973 00:50:11,865 --> 00:50:13,430 Ooh! Aah! 974 00:50:13,432 --> 00:50:15,798 - TOUR GUIDE: Ooh! Aah! - OTHERS: Hey! Whoa! 975 00:50:15,801 --> 00:50:18,434 (GRUNTS FIERCELY) 976 00:50:18,436 --> 00:50:21,705 (EXCITED CHATTER) 977 00:50:21,707 --> 00:50:23,206 Aah! 978 00:50:23,208 --> 00:50:24,540 Ooh! 979 00:50:24,542 --> 00:50:25,843 Ooh! Aah! 980 00:50:25,845 --> 00:50:27,845 However, the agent we have on this mission 981 00:50:27,847 --> 00:50:30,412 is confident he's making major progress, and, uh, 982 00:50:30,414 --> 00:50:32,715 yes, we have a potential suspect who's been identified, 983 00:50:32,717 --> 00:50:36,551 and... further covert investigations are now ongoing. 984 00:50:36,553 --> 00:50:38,286 (GASPING) 985 00:50:38,288 --> 00:50:39,822 Yes, quite. 986 00:50:39,824 --> 00:50:44,226 So I expect to have more to announce on this front... 987 00:50:44,228 --> 00:50:45,596 shortly. 988 00:50:50,001 --> 00:50:52,302 (BELL DINGS) 989 00:50:55,471 --> 00:50:57,273 (ELECTRONIC CHIMING) 990 00:50:58,542 --> 00:51:00,443 Oh. 991 00:51:01,544 --> 00:51:02,777 BOUGH: Sir? 992 00:51:02,779 --> 00:51:03,945 Hmm? 993 00:51:03,947 --> 00:51:05,478 Uh, is everything all right, sir? 994 00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,280 Yes, I've done it, Bough. 995 00:51:07,282 --> 00:51:09,952 Child's play. Don't know what all the fuss was about. 996 00:51:11,855 --> 00:51:14,657 (SIRENS WAILING) 997 00:51:17,693 --> 00:51:20,429 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 998 00:51:23,532 --> 00:51:25,565 Pleasure to see you again, Prime Minister. 999 00:51:25,567 --> 00:51:27,801 (WHISPERS): Uh, it's a hologram. 1000 00:51:27,803 --> 00:51:31,403 Apparently, you just speak to it normally. 1001 00:51:31,405 --> 00:51:33,907 The pleasure's all mine. 1002 00:51:33,909 --> 00:51:35,442 Hate to rush you, 1003 00:51:35,444 --> 00:51:37,309 but was there something in particular 1004 00:51:37,311 --> 00:51:39,713 - you needed? - Actually, I was just calling, 1005 00:51:39,715 --> 00:51:44,483 really, to see if you had had a chance to think things over. 1006 00:51:44,485 --> 00:51:45,886 I have. 1007 00:51:47,321 --> 00:51:49,320 But the thing is, Fiona, 1008 00:51:49,322 --> 00:51:51,990 I just don't really do other people's security. 1009 00:51:51,992 --> 00:51:53,725 Not that I don't want to. 1010 00:51:53,727 --> 00:51:55,793 But your infrastructure is old. 1011 00:51:55,795 --> 00:51:58,296 Plus, the only way I could keep you secure in the meantime 1012 00:51:58,298 --> 00:52:01,332 would be by storing all your data on my own servers. 1013 00:52:01,334 --> 00:52:03,501 - Obviously, that would be... - Yes. Jason, 1014 00:52:03,503 --> 00:52:04,937 what I really want to do 1015 00:52:04,939 --> 00:52:07,772 is announce this tie-up at the G12 meeting. 1016 00:52:07,774 --> 00:52:10,607 Do we have a deal? 1017 00:52:10,609 --> 00:52:11,976 (CHUCKLES) 1018 00:52:11,978 --> 00:52:13,779 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1019 00:52:19,718 --> 00:52:21,687 BOUGH (WHISPERS): Good luck, sir. 1020 00:52:39,504 --> 00:52:41,104 VOLTA: Hey. 1021 00:52:41,106 --> 00:52:43,073 - Sir? - I said to get the chopper ready. 1022 00:52:43,075 --> 00:52:44,106 Right there. 1023 00:52:44,108 --> 00:52:46,342 Sir, right away, sir. 1024 00:52:46,344 --> 00:52:47,575 (IRRITATED): Thank you. 1025 00:52:47,577 --> 00:52:49,477 - Tyler, come in. - Copy. 1026 00:52:49,479 --> 00:52:51,613 Tyler, can you prepare the chopper now? 1027 00:52:51,615 --> 00:52:53,548 TYLER: I'll have everything ready 1028 00:52:53,550 --> 00:52:55,031 - in a couple of minutes. - All right. 1029 00:53:01,959 --> 00:53:04,528 ♪ 1030 00:53:24,013 --> 00:53:25,745 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 1031 00:53:25,747 --> 00:53:28,481 We can't keep meeting like this, Mr. Golightly. 1032 00:53:28,483 --> 00:53:31,651 - Oh, yes. - Or do you want to end this charade 1033 00:53:31,653 --> 00:53:32,985 and tell me your real name? 1034 00:53:32,987 --> 00:53:34,087 - Uh... - (DOOR OPENS) 1035 00:53:34,089 --> 00:53:35,788 - (LAUGHTER, CHATTER) - Go. 1036 00:53:35,790 --> 00:53:37,991 MAN (IN DISTANCE): Yeah, it's all good here. 1037 00:53:37,993 --> 00:53:40,026 There's so much you don't understand 1038 00:53:40,028 --> 00:53:42,062 about this world you've got caught up in. 1039 00:53:42,064 --> 00:53:44,496 Spare me the idiot act. 1040 00:53:44,498 --> 00:53:46,631 You're British Secret Service. 1041 00:53:46,633 --> 00:53:49,101 Impressive work in France, by the way. 1042 00:53:49,103 --> 00:53:51,538 When did you realize I was a spy, too? 1043 00:53:52,807 --> 00:53:56,107 Oh, pretty much straightaway. 1044 00:53:56,109 --> 00:53:57,811 - Mm. - Hmm. 1045 00:54:00,513 --> 00:54:02,180 I've spent two years undercover. 1046 00:54:02,182 --> 00:54:04,748 Simple operation until you showed up. 1047 00:54:04,750 --> 00:54:06,650 And I like to keep things simple. 1048 00:54:06,652 --> 00:54:09,988 Simple is my middle name. 1049 00:54:09,990 --> 00:54:11,755 - (DOOR OPENS) - (GASPS SOFTLY) 1050 00:54:11,757 --> 00:54:12,991 MAN: Yeah, I hear you. Well, I'm gonna need about 1051 00:54:12,993 --> 00:54:15,461 - five minutes... - It would seem you've got a choice to make. 1052 00:54:17,830 --> 00:54:19,898 A temporary suspension of hostilities? 1053 00:54:19,900 --> 00:54:21,999 A short-term partnership? 1054 00:54:22,001 --> 00:54:23,700 Agreed. 1055 00:54:23,702 --> 00:54:24,904 Mm. 1056 00:54:27,173 --> 00:54:28,706 (GRUNTS) 1057 00:54:30,775 --> 00:54:32,108 ENGLISH: Hmm. 1058 00:54:32,110 --> 00:54:33,843 VOLTA: Politicians are even more gullible 1059 00:54:33,845 --> 00:54:35,845 - than venture capitalists. - XANDER: That is correct. 1060 00:54:35,847 --> 00:54:37,713 Get me a copy of the target list. 1061 00:54:37,715 --> 00:54:40,483 We'll hit 'em once more just to be on the safe side. 1062 00:54:40,485 --> 00:54:42,051 Give me your phone. 1063 00:54:42,053 --> 00:54:43,920 You don't have a phone? 1064 00:54:43,922 --> 00:54:45,922 A phone will give anyone your precise location. 1065 00:54:45,924 --> 00:54:49,191 And yet they're so useful for making phone calls. 1066 00:54:49,193 --> 00:54:51,726 - VOLTA: Excellent. - I'm not phoning anyone. 1067 00:54:51,728 --> 00:54:54,764 I'm gathering evidence. 1068 00:54:57,101 --> 00:54:58,699 XANDER: The target list, Jason. 1069 00:54:58,701 --> 00:55:01,069 Four iconic Central London landmarks. 1070 00:55:01,071 --> 00:55:03,238 - Make your selection. - Number three. 1071 00:55:03,240 --> 00:55:05,109 XANDER: The London Eye? 1072 00:55:06,576 --> 00:55:08,910 This cyberattack could potentially impact 1073 00:55:08,912 --> 00:55:11,778 16,000 visitors. 1074 00:55:11,780 --> 00:55:13,713 (OVER PHONE): ♪ Ra, ra, Rasputin 1075 00:55:13,715 --> 00:55:14,851 ♪ Lover of the Russian... 1076 00:55:15,985 --> 00:55:17,717 I found him 1077 00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:20,020 snooping around upstairs. 1078 00:55:20,022 --> 00:55:22,056 And who are you, exactly? 1079 00:55:22,058 --> 00:55:25,191 - I'm not telling you anything. - Hmm. 1080 00:55:25,193 --> 00:55:28,627 XANDER: Face recognition software launched. 1081 00:55:28,629 --> 00:55:30,596 Johnny English is a geography teacher 1082 00:55:30,598 --> 00:55:32,732 from Lincolnshire. 1083 00:55:32,734 --> 00:55:34,100 Rather heavily armed for a lesson 1084 00:55:34,102 --> 00:55:35,902 on European capitals, Mr. English. 1085 00:55:35,904 --> 00:55:37,005 (CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) 1086 00:55:38,506 --> 00:55:40,240 Any thoughts, sweetheart? 1087 00:55:40,242 --> 00:55:42,741 He's British Intelligence. 1088 00:55:42,743 --> 00:55:45,210 (CHUCKLES) And there you have it: 1089 00:55:45,212 --> 00:55:47,113 two words that have no right 1090 00:55:47,115 --> 00:55:50,015 being in the same sentence together. 1091 00:55:50,017 --> 00:55:53,085 (CHUCKLES) Do you really think I came here alone? 1092 00:55:53,087 --> 00:55:56,521 I have a team of crack operatives out there right now 1093 00:55:56,523 --> 00:55:58,523 just waiting to strike. 1094 00:55:58,525 --> 00:56:00,859 (QUIETLY): Uh-huh. 1095 00:56:00,861 --> 00:56:02,226 (BEEP) 1096 00:56:02,228 --> 00:56:04,263 - (PANTING) - (DOGS BARKING) 1097 00:56:04,265 --> 00:56:06,563 Aah! 1098 00:56:06,565 --> 00:56:08,766 (LAUGHING) 1099 00:56:08,768 --> 00:56:11,535 What has happened to this country? 1100 00:56:11,537 --> 00:56:14,072 How is it possible that less than a century ago 1101 00:56:14,074 --> 00:56:17,275 the British Empire ruled a quarter of the globe, 1102 00:56:17,277 --> 00:56:19,944 and now it's relying 1103 00:56:19,946 --> 00:56:21,845 on someone... 1104 00:56:21,847 --> 00:56:24,682 like you? (LAUGHS) 1105 00:56:27,152 --> 00:56:28,651 (ENGLISH GRUNTS SOFTLY) 1106 00:56:28,653 --> 00:56:30,254 Hey, stop! 1107 00:56:30,256 --> 00:56:31,587 (GRUNTING) 1108 00:56:31,589 --> 00:56:32,590 Stop him? 1109 00:56:34,159 --> 00:56:35,961 - (GRUNTS) - (DOOR BEEPS) 1110 00:56:38,563 --> 00:56:39,728 (VOLTA LAUGHS) 1111 00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:42,067 (PANTING) 1112 00:56:45,870 --> 00:56:47,537 Go. 1113 00:56:55,746 --> 00:56:57,213 - Close the gates. - Yes, sir. 1114 00:56:57,215 --> 00:56:58,215 (REMOTE BEEPS) 1115 00:56:59,850 --> 00:57:01,052 (LAUGHS) 1116 00:57:02,652 --> 00:57:03,854 (GRUNTS SOFTLY) 1117 00:57:07,858 --> 00:57:09,689 Help! Stop! 1118 00:57:09,691 --> 00:57:12,160 Obstacle directly ahead, Mrs. Trattner. 1119 00:57:12,162 --> 00:57:16,696 Check your mirrors and bring the car to a stop. 1120 00:57:16,698 --> 00:57:18,598 (GRUNTS) 1121 00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:19,532 Uh, excuse me? 1122 00:57:19,534 --> 00:57:22,136 Hey, oh, what did you... what have you...? 1123 00:57:22,138 --> 00:57:24,073 - Ooh. - Thank you. 1124 00:57:25,007 --> 00:57:26,340 (GRUNTS) 1125 00:57:26,342 --> 00:57:29,910 - Drive. - (WHIMPERING) 1126 00:57:29,912 --> 00:57:32,346 - Excuse me. - What? What do you think you're doing? 1127 00:57:32,348 --> 00:57:35,883 Excuse me! You are not a qualified instructor. 1128 00:57:35,885 --> 00:57:38,618 (SCREAMS) 1129 00:57:38,620 --> 00:57:39,785 (TIRES SQUEAL) 1130 00:57:39,787 --> 00:57:40,955 (TRATTNER SCREAMS) 1131 00:57:44,691 --> 00:57:46,959 - But what about my instructor? - Turn left. 1132 00:57:46,961 --> 00:57:48,660 Oh! 1133 00:57:48,662 --> 00:57:50,231 - Turn right. - (WHIMPERS) 1134 00:57:53,733 --> 00:57:55,734 - (TRATTNER GASPING) - For future reference, 1135 00:57:55,736 --> 00:57:56,968 I'm on your left. 1136 00:57:56,970 --> 00:58:01,875 Please, stop. I can't do this anymore! 1137 00:58:03,643 --> 00:58:06,777 Ah, I can't see anything now. 1138 00:58:06,779 --> 00:58:08,746 Good. 1139 00:58:08,748 --> 00:58:11,650 ♪ 1140 00:58:19,791 --> 00:58:22,593 - When I say go, turn sharp right. - Uh-huh. 1141 00:58:25,364 --> 00:58:26,896 (TIRES SQUEAL) 1142 00:58:26,898 --> 00:58:27,899 Three, two, one. 1143 00:58:29,902 --> 00:58:30,902 - Go! - (WHIMPERS) 1144 00:58:32,871 --> 00:58:34,003 - And straighten up. - (GROANING) 1145 00:58:34,005 --> 00:58:35,105 Straighten up, straighten up. 1146 00:58:35,107 --> 00:58:36,272 And go! 1147 00:58:36,274 --> 00:58:37,974 (TIRES SQUEAL) 1148 00:58:37,976 --> 00:58:40,343 Let's go, let's go. 1149 00:58:40,345 --> 00:58:41,845 ♪ 1150 00:58:41,847 --> 00:58:42,881 Huh. 1151 00:58:46,817 --> 00:58:49,886 Oh, now just bear left a little. Good. 1152 00:58:49,888 --> 00:58:51,049 Straighten up, straighten up. 1153 00:58:55,392 --> 00:58:56,925 Good. 1154 00:58:56,927 --> 00:58:58,329 (GRUNTING) 1155 00:59:00,330 --> 00:59:02,864 Well, that was very good, Mrs. Trattner. 1156 00:59:02,866 --> 00:59:04,301 (TRATTNER WHIMPERS) 1157 00:59:06,436 --> 00:59:09,371 I think you made some real progress today. 1158 00:59:09,373 --> 00:59:10,704 PEGASUS: You're not hearing me, English. 1159 00:59:10,706 --> 00:59:13,075 Given the prime minister's new friendship with Volta, 1160 00:59:13,077 --> 00:59:14,408 the situation has changed. 1161 00:59:14,410 --> 00:59:16,110 But the facts haven't, sir. 1162 00:59:16,112 --> 00:59:18,813 That attack is Volta's responsibility. 1163 00:59:18,815 --> 00:59:21,848 According to you but not according to anyone else. 1164 00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:23,818 PRIME MINISTER: Is he here yet? 1165 00:59:23,820 --> 00:59:25,252 Good afternoon, Prime Minister. 1166 00:59:25,254 --> 00:59:28,021 - So, this is, uh... - English, Prime Minister. 1167 00:59:28,023 --> 00:59:29,357 Johnny English. 1168 00:59:29,359 --> 00:59:32,025 What exactly do you have to say for yourself? 1169 00:59:32,027 --> 00:59:33,126 Rather a lot, actually. 1170 00:59:33,128 --> 00:59:34,127 - Ah. - (CHUCKLES) 1171 00:59:34,129 --> 00:59:36,295 However, men like me don't deal 1172 00:59:36,297 --> 00:59:37,963 in prevarication, Prime Minister. 1173 00:59:37,965 --> 00:59:39,731 So let me get straight to the point. 1174 00:59:39,733 --> 00:59:43,102 Jason Volta is the man behind these attacks, 1175 00:59:43,104 --> 00:59:46,473 and I have the evidence to prove it. 1176 00:59:46,475 --> 00:59:49,975 I managed to record this inside Volta's country lair. 1177 00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:52,011 But I should warn you, Prime Minister, 1178 00:59:52,013 --> 00:59:56,448 that what you're about to see is evil incarnate. 1179 00:59:56,450 --> 00:59:59,353 (INHALES) Mm. 1180 01:00:01,154 --> 01:00:04,490 Here we are at Fifi's third birthday, 1181 01:00:04,492 --> 01:00:06,457 and it's a very exciting day! (LAUGHS) 1182 01:00:06,459 --> 01:00:08,259 (GROUP CHEERING) 1183 01:00:08,261 --> 01:00:11,329 Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! 1184 01:00:11,331 --> 01:00:12,397 GROUP: Hooray! 1185 01:00:12,399 --> 01:00:15,765 ♪ Happy birthday to you 1186 01:00:15,767 --> 01:00:18,136 - ♪ Happy birthday to you. - (GRUMBLES) 1187 01:00:18,138 --> 01:00:19,938 (PHONE BEEPING) 1188 01:00:19,940 --> 01:00:23,040 - (SINGING STOPS) - Thank you. 1189 01:00:23,042 --> 01:00:26,810 Can I just ask, what is wrong with you? 1190 01:00:26,812 --> 01:00:29,880 The country is in a state of complete chaos, 1191 01:00:29,882 --> 01:00:31,481 the press is wetting itself, and the only person 1192 01:00:31,483 --> 01:00:33,849 capable of saving us is the man you're accusing 1193 01:00:33,851 --> 01:00:35,185 of high treason. 1194 01:00:35,187 --> 01:00:38,455 I was in the room myself when he gave the order, 1195 01:00:38,457 --> 01:00:39,989 Prime Minister, but-but there was a, 1196 01:00:39,991 --> 01:00:41,358 - there's a, you know... - Do you know what I was 1197 01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:42,291 in the room with, English? 1198 01:00:42,293 --> 01:00:44,227 Your file, which I've read in its entirety. 1199 01:00:44,229 --> 01:00:46,429 And I have a few questions. Did you or did you not 1200 01:00:46,431 --> 01:00:49,465 burn the Côte de Roc restaurant in Antibes to the ground? 1201 01:00:49,467 --> 01:00:53,135 - Um... - And did you or did you not fire a guided missile 1202 01:00:53,137 --> 01:00:54,971 at a peloton of French cyclists? 1203 01:00:54,973 --> 01:00:57,440 - W-Well... - Before commandeering 1204 01:00:57,442 --> 01:01:00,242 an open-top bus and tossing the tour guide off the top deck 1205 01:01:00,244 --> 01:01:01,911 and then assaulting an 82-year-old grandmother 1206 01:01:01,913 --> 01:01:03,445 in a sandwich shop before battering 1207 01:01:03,447 --> 01:01:05,013 the employee of said sandwich shop 1208 01:01:05,015 --> 01:01:07,549 with two organic sourdough baguette? 1209 01:01:07,551 --> 01:01:10,318 Uh, I don't remember... 1210 01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:13,555 Do you have any idea how hard it is to be me? 1211 01:01:13,557 --> 01:01:16,557 - Uh... - Hmm? 1212 01:01:16,559 --> 01:01:19,060 Do you have even the foggiest notion 1213 01:01:19,062 --> 01:01:21,061 of how virtually impossible it is 1214 01:01:21,063 --> 01:01:24,198 to get anything done in the face of events 1215 01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:27,067 and facts and voters 1216 01:01:27,069 --> 01:01:30,938 and that tsunami of tosspots we call the national press? 1217 01:01:30,940 --> 01:01:34,441 Finally I get the chance to do something good for my country, 1218 01:01:34,443 --> 01:01:35,608 and what happens? 1219 01:01:35,610 --> 01:01:38,911 The universe sends me you. 1220 01:01:38,913 --> 01:01:41,247 Well, do you know what I say? 1221 01:01:41,249 --> 01:01:43,982 I say "up the universe's arse!" 1222 01:01:43,984 --> 01:01:45,918 And do you know what else I say? 1223 01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,887 You're fired with immediate effect. 1224 01:01:47,889 --> 01:01:49,055 Now get out! 1225 01:01:49,057 --> 01:01:51,123 And make sure I never clap eyes 1226 01:01:51,125 --> 01:01:53,392 on that imbecile ever again! 1227 01:01:53,394 --> 01:01:55,329 ♪ 1228 01:02:09,642 --> 01:02:11,878 (SIGHS) 1229 01:02:19,919 --> 01:02:21,854 (ENGINE STALLING) 1230 01:02:24,190 --> 01:02:25,223 (SIGHS) 1231 01:02:27,593 --> 01:02:30,228 (THUNDER RUMBLES) 1232 01:02:34,633 --> 01:02:38,101 What are you doing, sir? 1233 01:02:38,103 --> 01:02:40,070 What do you think I'm doing, Bough? 1234 01:02:40,072 --> 01:02:41,638 I'm going home. 1235 01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:44,239 But the prime minister is finalizing her deal with Volta. 1236 01:02:44,241 --> 01:02:45,608 She's taking him to the G12 summit 1237 01:02:45,610 --> 01:02:47,277 in Scotland as her special guest. 1238 01:02:47,279 --> 01:02:48,978 It's over, Bough. 1239 01:02:48,980 --> 01:02:52,281 And there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. 1240 01:02:52,283 --> 01:02:55,150 But, sir, I have a plan. 1241 01:02:55,152 --> 01:02:56,954 Remember my wife? 1242 01:03:05,229 --> 01:03:07,029 Clear your baffles. 1243 01:03:07,031 --> 01:03:08,396 (SOFTLY): What? 1244 01:03:08,398 --> 01:03:11,065 - Mind your head, sir. - Ow! Ow. 1245 01:03:11,067 --> 01:03:13,601 - Ooh. - Oh. 1246 01:03:13,603 --> 01:03:15,305 This says we're sinking. 1247 01:03:17,473 --> 01:03:18,338 (HISSES) 1248 01:03:18,340 --> 01:03:21,509 She's old and a little rusty, but... 1249 01:03:21,511 --> 01:03:23,980 she can put on a hell of a fireworks display. 1250 01:03:27,349 --> 01:03:30,484 (SEABIRDS SQUAWKING) 1251 01:03:30,486 --> 01:03:32,421 ♪ 1252 01:03:40,062 --> 01:03:42,963 Excellent work, Commander. 1253 01:03:42,965 --> 01:03:45,698 Jeremy has always spoken very highly of you, Agent English. 1254 01:03:45,700 --> 01:03:47,935 Who? 1255 01:03:49,270 --> 01:03:53,739 Oh. Oh, yes. Yes. Hmm. 1256 01:03:53,741 --> 01:03:56,242 I'm no fan of the pen pushers myself, 1257 01:03:56,244 --> 01:03:57,976 so when orders came through stationing us here 1258 01:03:57,978 --> 01:03:59,278 for the summit, well, 1259 01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,312 I thought a lift was the least I could do. 1260 01:04:01,314 --> 01:04:04,482 Right, let's get a move on, Bough. 1261 01:04:04,484 --> 01:04:06,484 Oh, if you wouldn't mind keeping your mobiles off 1262 01:04:06,486 --> 01:04:08,219 until you're well clear, gentlemen. 1263 01:04:08,221 --> 01:04:10,688 The launch systems on the missiles are a bit 1980s. 1264 01:04:10,690 --> 01:04:13,290 Gets a tad twitchy around microwave radiation. 1265 01:04:13,292 --> 01:04:14,692 No problem there, Commander. 1266 01:04:14,694 --> 01:04:17,661 We're doing this mission old-school. 1267 01:04:17,663 --> 01:04:19,598 ♪ 1268 01:04:23,236 --> 01:04:25,171 (GRAPPLING HOOK FIRES) 1269 01:04:27,239 --> 01:04:29,041 (SOFTLY): This spot's perfect. 1270 01:04:31,109 --> 01:04:32,311 Come on. 1271 01:04:33,479 --> 01:04:36,182 (STRAINING) 1272 01:04:43,022 --> 01:04:45,654 (GRUNTS SOFTLY) 1273 01:04:45,656 --> 01:04:48,290 (GRUNTS LOUDLY) Sorry, sir. 1274 01:04:48,292 --> 01:04:51,026 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 1275 01:04:51,028 --> 01:04:54,196 Right, Bough. Our mission here is simple. 1276 01:04:54,198 --> 01:04:57,600 Gain access to Volta's bedroom and take him out. 1277 01:04:57,602 --> 01:04:59,601 BOUGH: How are you going to get up there, though, sir? 1278 01:04:59,603 --> 01:05:03,707 A walk in the park for the exoskeleton. 1279 01:05:10,180 --> 01:05:13,280 Remotely operated neoprene bodysuit. 1280 01:05:13,282 --> 01:05:16,284 Increases the wearer's strength a hundred times. 1281 01:05:16,286 --> 01:05:17,351 - Huh. - Right. 1282 01:05:17,353 --> 01:05:18,219 Power it up. 1283 01:05:18,221 --> 01:05:19,722 Stick in the floppy disk and let's go. 1284 01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:27,261 (COMPUTER BEEPS, WHIRS) 1285 01:05:27,263 --> 01:05:29,462 Just, um... 1286 01:05:29,464 --> 01:05:31,264 (BEEPING RAPIDLY) 1287 01:05:31,266 --> 01:05:32,300 (HISSING) 1288 01:05:39,508 --> 01:05:41,476 ♪ 1289 01:05:44,713 --> 01:05:46,714 Crikey, sir. 1290 01:06:03,197 --> 01:06:04,762 VOLTA: When will the weapon be ready? 1291 01:06:04,764 --> 01:06:06,665 XANDER: As soon as the prime minister 1292 01:06:06,667 --> 01:06:08,799 signs the agreement, tonight. 1293 01:06:08,802 --> 01:06:11,102 - VOLTA: How do I fire it? - XANDER: Press once 1294 01:06:11,104 --> 01:06:13,337 and the attack is launched. 1295 01:06:13,339 --> 01:06:16,140 After which, the data of every G12 country 1296 01:06:16,142 --> 01:06:19,777 will be transferred to the servers on board the Dot Calm. 1297 01:06:19,779 --> 01:06:22,579 VOLTA: Perfect. 1298 01:06:22,581 --> 01:06:24,715 Ah. 1299 01:06:24,717 --> 01:06:26,619 Cheers. 1300 01:06:31,657 --> 01:06:34,124 (VOLTA EXHALES) 1301 01:06:34,126 --> 01:06:36,493 You're working for Russian Intelligence 1302 01:06:36,495 --> 01:06:38,128 and you have been from the start. 1303 01:06:38,130 --> 01:06:40,297 Which is why I've taken an antidote to the poison 1304 01:06:40,299 --> 01:06:44,266 you keep in your ring and which you've poured into this drink. 1305 01:06:44,268 --> 01:06:47,371 And removed the firing pin from that pistol. 1306 01:06:48,706 --> 01:06:52,641 (GUN CLICKING EMPTY) 1307 01:06:52,643 --> 01:06:54,343 (GASPS) 1308 01:06:54,345 --> 01:06:55,678 (GUN CLICKS EMPTY) 1309 01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:58,347 Everyone has to make a life for themselves. 1310 01:06:58,349 --> 01:07:01,684 It's just sad that yours is... 1311 01:07:01,686 --> 01:07:04,185 - over. - Hmm. 1312 01:07:04,187 --> 01:07:07,324 Fresh from my 3-D printer. 100% plastic. 1313 01:07:09,927 --> 01:07:12,292 And 100% deadly. 1314 01:07:12,294 --> 01:07:14,761 Killing me won't save you. 1315 01:07:14,763 --> 01:07:17,200 VOLTA: (CHUCKLES) Don't bet on it. 1316 01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,268 Dobryy vecher, Ms. Bhuletova. 1317 01:07:21,270 --> 01:07:24,404 (SOFTLY): Seriously, this cannot be happening. 1318 01:07:24,406 --> 01:07:25,541 Oh, but it is. 1319 01:07:26,876 --> 01:07:29,375 Drop the gun. 1320 01:07:29,377 --> 01:07:31,445 Get your hands in the air. 1321 01:07:31,447 --> 01:07:32,747 And you. 1322 01:07:34,616 --> 01:07:37,352 (BODYSUIT HISSING) 1323 01:07:40,856 --> 01:07:42,355 There's no time for this, Johnny. 1324 01:07:42,357 --> 01:07:44,357 Oh, it isn't possible. 1325 01:07:44,359 --> 01:07:47,460 You cannot be working with this English idiot. 1326 01:07:47,462 --> 01:07:50,830 Save the pillow talk for your prison cell, Volta. 1327 01:07:50,832 --> 01:07:52,431 Are you inside, sir? 1328 01:07:52,433 --> 01:07:54,968 Yes, yes, Bough, you can power down. 1329 01:07:54,970 --> 01:07:57,837 Everything's under control. 1330 01:07:57,839 --> 01:07:59,771 - Shut down. - (COMPUTER BEEPS) 1331 01:07:59,773 --> 01:08:00,974 (HISSES) 1332 01:08:00,976 --> 01:08:03,308 (SHOUTS) 1333 01:08:03,310 --> 01:08:06,178 (SCREAMING) 1334 01:08:16,423 --> 01:08:17,788 (GRUNTING) 1335 01:08:17,790 --> 01:08:20,259 ♪ 1336 01:08:21,828 --> 01:08:23,494 (SIREN CHIRPING) 1337 01:08:23,496 --> 01:08:26,296 REPORTER: An historic venue for an historic meeting. 1338 01:08:26,298 --> 01:08:28,766 The delegates from each G12 member nation 1339 01:08:28,768 --> 01:08:30,634 will have their own priorities... 1340 01:08:30,636 --> 01:08:32,903 (REPORTERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 1341 01:08:32,905 --> 01:08:35,674 ♪ 1342 01:08:39,377 --> 01:08:41,644 (BREATH SHUDDERING, TEETH CHATTERING) 1343 01:08:41,646 --> 01:08:43,581 How do we get in now, sir? 1344 01:08:47,584 --> 01:08:48,854 (BAGPIPES PLAYING) 1345 01:08:51,489 --> 01:08:53,757 Wh-What's the plan? 1346 01:08:55,727 --> 01:08:58,195 (BAGPIPES AND PERCUSSION PLAYING LOUDLY) 1347 01:09:05,301 --> 01:09:08,405 (PLAYING DIFFERENT SONG OUT OF TUNE) 1348 01:09:22,351 --> 01:09:24,855 (BAGPIPES DEFLATING) 1349 01:09:28,623 --> 01:09:31,426 GUARD: Hey, you! Hey! 1350 01:09:44,873 --> 01:09:48,075 (REPORTERS CLAMORING) 1351 01:09:48,077 --> 01:09:49,475 Thank you very much. 1352 01:09:49,477 --> 01:09:50,879 I hope you have everything you need. 1353 01:10:03,757 --> 01:10:05,860 (METALLIC CREAKING) 1354 01:10:07,829 --> 01:10:09,660 ENGLISH: Ow. 1355 01:10:09,662 --> 01:10:11,462 On behalf of the United Kingdom, 1356 01:10:11,464 --> 01:10:14,765 may I welcome you here today to this ancient meeting chamber 1357 01:10:14,767 --> 01:10:18,469 where the great Scottish clans once settled their differences 1358 01:10:18,471 --> 01:10:20,905 and forged new alliances. 1359 01:10:20,907 --> 01:10:23,406 A place I have specifically chosen 1360 01:10:23,408 --> 01:10:27,778 in order to make a very special announcement. 1361 01:10:27,780 --> 01:10:28,779 - Oh. - Sir? 1362 01:10:28,781 --> 01:10:30,081 Ow. Ooh. 1363 01:10:30,083 --> 01:10:32,748 - A-Are you all right, sir? - No, I'm not all right. 1364 01:10:32,750 --> 01:10:34,018 Get me up, Bough. 1365 01:10:34,020 --> 01:10:35,654 (STRAINED GRUNTING) 1366 01:10:37,489 --> 01:10:39,022 It's very heavy, sir. 1367 01:10:39,024 --> 01:10:42,591 I know how heavy it is, Bough. 1368 01:10:42,593 --> 01:10:43,927 (GROANS) 1369 01:10:43,929 --> 01:10:46,497 We've got to get to the conference... 1370 01:10:47,966 --> 01:10:51,467 ...to the conference room before Volta tr... 1371 01:10:51,469 --> 01:10:55,738 - before Volta triggers his weapon. - (VISOR SQUEAKS) 1372 01:10:55,740 --> 01:10:59,741 And so, with my signature on this agreement... 1373 01:10:59,743 --> 01:11:02,443 it gives me great pleasure... 1374 01:11:02,445 --> 01:11:06,882 oh... to welcome to you my guest, my friend, 1375 01:11:06,884 --> 01:11:08,385 Jason Volta. 1376 01:11:09,921 --> 01:11:11,451 (LOW BEEPING) 1377 01:11:11,453 --> 01:11:14,755 XANDER: Standing by to launch attack, Jason. 1378 01:11:14,757 --> 01:11:16,423 Damn it, get me out of this stuff. 1379 01:11:16,425 --> 01:11:18,492 - Johnny? - I can't see the join, sir. 1380 01:11:18,494 --> 01:11:19,961 ENGLISH: It's the clasp. Release the clasp, 1381 01:11:19,963 --> 01:11:21,628 and the top and the bottom separate. 1382 01:11:21,630 --> 01:11:24,065 (ENGLISH GRUNTING) 1383 01:11:24,067 --> 01:11:26,134 It must have jammed when you fell over, sir. 1384 01:11:26,136 --> 01:11:27,633 - For goodness' sake. - OPHELIA: Wait. 1385 01:11:27,635 --> 01:11:29,370 Try this. 1386 01:11:34,911 --> 01:11:35,910 BOUGH: That is... 1387 01:11:35,912 --> 01:11:37,744 quite a lot of oil, sir. 1388 01:11:37,746 --> 01:11:39,046 ENGLISH: Oh, come on. 1389 01:11:39,048 --> 01:11:41,148 Come on, come on, c... 1390 01:11:41,150 --> 01:11:43,783 Can you imagine what the world would look like 1391 01:11:43,785 --> 01:11:45,520 if it was run by Apple? 1392 01:11:46,621 --> 01:11:48,055 Or Google. 1393 01:11:48,057 --> 01:11:49,689 Or... 1394 01:11:49,691 --> 01:11:51,091 me. 1395 01:11:51,093 --> 01:11:53,491 - (CHUCKLES) - Shh. 1396 01:11:53,493 --> 01:11:57,096 Do you think you'd have failing schools? 1397 01:11:57,098 --> 01:11:59,698 Do you think you'd have endless waiting in your hospitals? 1398 01:11:59,700 --> 01:12:00,765 (QUIETLY): No. 1399 01:12:00,767 --> 01:12:01,801 Think you'd have such long lines 1400 01:12:01,803 --> 01:12:03,435 in your airports? 1401 01:12:03,437 --> 01:12:05,037 - No. - PRIME MINISTER: No. 1402 01:12:05,039 --> 01:12:06,906 No, because all of these 1403 01:12:06,908 --> 01:12:09,541 are simple data management problems. 1404 01:12:09,543 --> 01:12:11,542 And people like me, 1405 01:12:11,544 --> 01:12:13,011 we love data. 1406 01:12:13,013 --> 01:12:15,947 We live for data. 1407 01:12:15,949 --> 01:12:17,816 - ENGLISH: Ha! - My... 1408 01:12:17,818 --> 01:12:19,918 You know what I live for, Volta? 1409 01:12:19,920 --> 01:12:21,953 - PRIME MINISTER: Oh, God. - (GROANS) 1410 01:12:21,955 --> 01:12:25,522 Eliminating the threat that lying villains like you 1411 01:12:25,524 --> 01:12:27,491 pose to this country. 1412 01:12:27,493 --> 01:12:28,791 (WHISPERS): Oh, for God's sake. 1413 01:12:28,793 --> 01:12:30,794 - Who is he? - (LOW CHATTER) 1414 01:12:30,796 --> 01:12:33,163 - Arrest this wack job. - The only person ordering 1415 01:12:33,165 --> 01:12:35,498 an arrest around here will be me. 1416 01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:38,135 There's no cause for concern, ladies and gentlemen. 1417 01:12:38,137 --> 01:12:40,204 You are now in the capable hands 1418 01:12:40,206 --> 01:12:43,706 of Her Majesty's Secret Service. 1419 01:12:43,708 --> 01:12:45,508 And, you, my friend, 1420 01:12:45,510 --> 01:12:47,744 are in for an uncomfortable ride. 1421 01:12:47,746 --> 01:12:50,582 (GASPS) 1422 01:12:53,484 --> 01:12:54,752 Aah! 1423 01:12:55,854 --> 01:12:58,789 (CLATTERING IN DISTANCE FADES) 1424 01:13:00,025 --> 01:13:01,959 (LOUD CRASH) 1425 01:13:04,129 --> 01:13:06,031 Where was I? 1426 01:13:07,497 --> 01:13:09,664 Living for data. 1427 01:13:09,666 --> 01:13:11,266 Exactly. 1428 01:13:11,268 --> 01:13:13,168 My algorithms can solve 1429 01:13:13,170 --> 01:13:17,072 every one of your problems, as long as I have one thing: 1430 01:13:17,074 --> 01:13:18,840 control. 1431 01:13:18,842 --> 01:13:22,609 And that is what you are about to give me now. 1432 01:13:22,611 --> 01:13:24,178 Jason, I wonder if you 1433 01:13:24,180 --> 01:13:26,213 - could just clarify... - Shut up. 1434 01:13:26,215 --> 01:13:29,184 - (EXCITED CHATTER) - Now, hold on! 1435 01:13:29,186 --> 01:13:31,651 XANDER: Castle now locked down... 1436 01:13:31,653 --> 01:13:34,556 and under your control, Jason. 1437 01:13:35,657 --> 01:13:38,125 The agreement this ignoramus 1438 01:13:38,127 --> 01:13:41,593 just signed didn't just give me access to all the U.K.'s data, 1439 01:13:41,595 --> 01:13:44,697 it also gave me access to a junction box 1440 01:13:44,699 --> 01:13:48,567 in North Ayrshire that connects the entire World Wide Web. 1441 01:13:48,569 --> 01:13:50,937 Disable the fiber-optic cables in that box, 1442 01:13:50,939 --> 01:13:52,638 and the Internet... 1443 01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:55,541 will cease to exist. 1444 01:13:55,543 --> 01:13:58,178 - (GROANING) - Johnny? Are you okay? 1445 01:13:58,180 --> 01:14:00,480 (STRAINED GRUNTING) 1446 01:14:04,118 --> 01:14:06,251 Have you got a phone? 1447 01:14:06,253 --> 01:14:08,020 We need to call for backup. 1448 01:14:08,022 --> 01:14:09,721 There's no time for backup. 1449 01:14:09,723 --> 01:14:11,190 I'm going after Volta. 1450 01:14:11,192 --> 01:14:13,057 And don't lose that one! 1451 01:14:13,059 --> 01:14:15,227 VOLTA: Do you understand 1452 01:14:15,229 --> 01:14:17,997 what it means if I turn the Internet off? 1453 01:14:17,999 --> 01:14:19,597 Cities will go dark. 1454 01:14:19,599 --> 01:14:22,334 Planes will fall out of the sky. 1455 01:14:22,336 --> 01:14:24,668 Trains will collide. 1456 01:14:24,670 --> 01:14:26,804 Law and order will break down, 1457 01:14:26,806 --> 01:14:30,207 and the world as you know it will be over. 1458 01:14:30,209 --> 01:14:31,641 Show... 1459 01:14:31,643 --> 01:14:33,913 don't tell, right? 1460 01:14:35,181 --> 01:14:36,580 (ELECTRONIC DING) 1461 01:14:36,582 --> 01:14:39,648 XANDER: Initiating attack, Jason. 1462 01:14:39,650 --> 01:14:42,585 Taking control of junction box. 1463 01:14:42,587 --> 01:14:45,122 Suspending Internet and electricity supply 1464 01:14:45,124 --> 01:14:47,126 across Britain and Europe. 1465 01:14:48,726 --> 01:14:51,760 - Stage one of attack complete. - (GASPING) 1466 01:14:51,762 --> 01:14:53,662 VOLTA: Ladies and gentlemen... 1467 01:14:53,664 --> 01:14:56,832 I can stop the attack, as long as each of you signs 1468 01:14:56,834 --> 01:14:58,700 the same agreement as the prime minister, 1469 01:14:58,702 --> 01:15:00,803 giving me complete control. 1470 01:15:00,805 --> 01:15:02,171 Your call. 1471 01:15:02,173 --> 01:15:03,738 MAN: Where's security? 1472 01:15:03,740 --> 01:15:05,740 (OVER PHONE): Welcome to British Intelligence. 1473 01:15:05,742 --> 01:15:08,377 - Get me Pegasus. - For MI5, press one. 1474 01:15:08,379 --> 01:15:10,779 For MI6, press two. 1475 01:15:10,781 --> 01:15:12,917 - (SIGHS) - For MI7, press three. 1476 01:15:15,319 --> 01:15:16,851 (PHONE RINGS) 1477 01:15:16,853 --> 01:15:18,687 (BEEPING) 1478 01:15:20,123 --> 01:15:23,391 XANDER: Eight G12 signatures now acquired. 1479 01:15:23,393 --> 01:15:25,193 Signal the chopper. 1480 01:15:25,195 --> 01:15:26,995 We're almost done here. 1481 01:15:26,997 --> 01:15:28,997 (OVER PHONE): For accounts, press five. 1482 01:15:28,999 --> 01:15:31,698 - For childcare services, press six. - Oh, come on. 1483 01:15:31,700 --> 01:15:34,068 - For more options, press seven. - (BEEP) 1484 01:15:34,070 --> 01:15:36,303 (ALARM BLARING) 1485 01:15:36,305 --> 01:15:38,806 What? 1486 01:15:38,808 --> 01:15:40,974 XANDER: Only two further signatures required 1487 01:15:40,976 --> 01:15:45,012 to achieve control of G12 nations' data. 1488 01:15:45,014 --> 01:15:47,713 All U.K. data now successfully transferred 1489 01:15:47,715 --> 01:15:49,315 - to the Dot Calm. - (SLURPS) 1490 01:15:49,317 --> 01:15:51,150 (OVER PHONE): For Aphrodite, press one. 1491 01:15:51,152 --> 01:15:53,652 - For Pegasus, press two. - (GROANS) 1492 01:15:53,654 --> 01:15:54,922 (ALARM BLARING) 1493 01:15:54,924 --> 01:15:56,422 Oh, my God. 1494 01:15:56,424 --> 01:15:58,723 LYDIA (OVER SPEAKERS): Dive the submarine. Repeat: 1495 01:15:58,725 --> 01:16:00,326 Dive the submarine. 1496 01:16:00,328 --> 01:16:01,328 (PHONE RINGING) 1497 01:16:02,830 --> 01:16:03,930 Director's office. 1498 01:16:03,932 --> 01:16:05,231 This is Johnny English. 1499 01:16:05,233 --> 01:16:07,400 I need to speak to Pegasus immediately. 1500 01:16:07,402 --> 01:16:09,134 It's a national emergency. 1501 01:16:09,136 --> 01:16:11,106 - (PHONE RINGING) - Uh, one moment, please, sir. 1502 01:16:12,772 --> 01:16:14,239 LYDIA: This is HMS Vengeance. 1503 01:16:14,241 --> 01:16:16,041 We have a full launch code. 1504 01:16:16,043 --> 01:16:18,043 Repeat: Launch code is locked. 1505 01:16:18,045 --> 01:16:19,743 Do I have your permission to fire? 1506 01:16:19,745 --> 01:16:22,713 Oh, my God. Would you hold on one moment, please? 1507 01:16:22,715 --> 01:16:24,415 Sir? Sir! 1508 01:16:24,417 --> 01:16:27,750 Hello? Hello? 1509 01:16:27,752 --> 01:16:29,054 Sir. HMS Vengeance here. 1510 01:16:29,056 --> 01:16:30,988 Do I have your permission to launch? 1511 01:16:30,990 --> 01:16:33,991 ENGLISH: What? Listen, we have to call in an attack. 1512 01:16:33,993 --> 01:16:37,827 - LYDIA: Did you say attack, sir? - Yes, an attack. Attack. 1513 01:16:37,829 --> 01:16:41,899 General quarters. We are go for launch. 1514 01:16:41,901 --> 01:16:43,900 Target coordinates locked, Commander. 1515 01:16:43,902 --> 01:16:44,903 Hello? 1516 01:16:46,372 --> 01:16:47,874 Hello? 1517 01:16:49,374 --> 01:16:50,842 Whoa! 1518 01:16:51,943 --> 01:16:54,045 ♪ 1519 01:16:57,415 --> 01:17:00,850 MAN: Commander, the missile's being redirected. 1520 01:17:00,852 --> 01:17:04,956 It seems to be locking on to a new hostile target. 1521 01:17:06,925 --> 01:17:08,357 What's a "Sherbet F"? 1522 01:17:08,359 --> 01:17:11,328 ♪ 1523 01:17:19,269 --> 01:17:22,971 - (GASPS, EXCITED CHATTER) - What was that? 1524 01:17:22,973 --> 01:17:26,274 XANDER: Dot Calm appears to be off-line, Jason. 1525 01:17:26,276 --> 01:17:29,145 The cyberattack has been halted. 1526 01:17:32,916 --> 01:17:34,381 Did you... 1527 01:17:34,383 --> 01:17:37,353 make a call quite close to the submarine, sir? 1528 01:17:40,089 --> 01:17:41,454 Um... 1529 01:17:41,456 --> 01:17:43,490 BOUGH: Because, well... 1530 01:17:43,492 --> 01:17:45,791 you did it, sir. (CHUCKLES) 1531 01:17:45,793 --> 01:17:47,229 Mission accomplished! 1532 01:17:48,463 --> 01:17:51,231 Well, exactly. (CHUCKLES) 1533 01:17:51,233 --> 01:17:54,534 XANDER: I am reevaluating our options, Jason. 1534 01:17:54,536 --> 01:17:57,004 (EXCITED CHATTER) 1535 01:18:01,209 --> 01:18:03,175 OPHELIA: Johnny! Johnny! 1536 01:18:03,177 --> 01:18:06,178 Volta is getting away! He's heading for his helicopter! 1537 01:18:06,180 --> 01:18:08,881 No, Bough. 1538 01:18:08,883 --> 01:18:10,483 This one's mine. 1539 01:18:12,887 --> 01:18:15,456 - ♪ - (STRAINED GRUNTING) 1540 01:18:32,239 --> 01:18:34,506 (CONTINUES GRUNTING) 1541 01:18:43,182 --> 01:18:45,951 This way, sir. Sir? 1542 01:18:53,358 --> 01:18:56,560 ♪ 1543 01:18:56,562 --> 01:18:58,194 Last two steps, sir. 1544 01:18:58,196 --> 01:19:00,331 (GASPS, GRUNTS) 1545 01:19:01,899 --> 01:19:03,232 (GASPS SOFTLY) 1546 01:19:03,234 --> 01:19:05,233 Not so fast, Volta. 1547 01:19:05,235 --> 01:19:06,836 (VOLTA LAUGHS) 1548 01:19:06,838 --> 01:19:09,272 Is this supposed to scare me, Sir Lancelot? 1549 01:19:09,274 --> 01:19:11,475 (LOW GRUNTING) 1550 01:19:13,977 --> 01:19:15,610 - Take cover, Bough. - Ooh. 1551 01:19:15,612 --> 01:19:18,382 - (BULLETS STRIKING ARMOR) - (MUFFLED GRUNT) 1552 01:19:19,883 --> 01:19:21,983 (BOUGH WHIMPERING) 1553 01:19:21,985 --> 01:19:25,855 Don't worry, he's only got six bullets in that thing. 1554 01:19:28,524 --> 01:19:30,993 And, of course, the thing itself. 1555 01:19:32,928 --> 01:19:35,429 You've run out of options, Volta. 1556 01:19:35,431 --> 01:19:37,531 Oh, you think you've won? 1557 01:19:37,533 --> 01:19:39,133 Mm. 1558 01:19:39,135 --> 01:19:40,934 XANDER: Rerouting the attack 1559 01:19:40,936 --> 01:19:42,903 to our Nevada servers, Jason. 1560 01:19:42,905 --> 01:19:44,871 The world's going down, English, 1561 01:19:44,873 --> 01:19:47,107 and I'll be the last man standing. 1562 01:19:47,109 --> 01:19:48,941 Good-bye, English. 1563 01:19:48,943 --> 01:19:50,910 Good-bye, Internet. 1564 01:19:50,912 --> 01:19:52,879 OPHELIA: I've got it! 1565 01:19:52,881 --> 01:19:56,449 That's a Gazelle 341 light attack helicopter. 1566 01:19:56,451 --> 01:19:59,052 If we can hack into its operating system, 1567 01:19:59,054 --> 01:20:00,988 we can disable the drive function. 1568 01:20:02,324 --> 01:20:03,590 Here. 1569 01:20:05,927 --> 01:20:07,893 VOLTA: Look at you! 1570 01:20:07,895 --> 01:20:11,029 You couldn't use that thing if your life depended on it! 1571 01:20:11,031 --> 01:20:13,198 (LAUGHS) 1572 01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:17,169 VOLTA: Let's get out of here. Let's get this bird 1573 01:20:17,171 --> 01:20:19,003 in the... (GRUNTS) 1574 01:20:19,005 --> 01:20:20,105 (LOUD THUMP) 1575 01:20:20,107 --> 01:20:22,274 ♪ 1576 01:20:22,276 --> 01:20:24,375 XANDER: Rerouting complete. 1577 01:20:24,377 --> 01:20:28,213 Attack data now installed at our Nevada servers. 1578 01:20:28,215 --> 01:20:30,381 Should I initiate? 1579 01:20:30,383 --> 01:20:32,018 Jason? 1580 01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:35,553 (GRUNTING) 1581 01:20:35,555 --> 01:20:38,989 Should I initiate the new attack? 1582 01:20:38,991 --> 01:20:41,058 Initiate... 1583 01:20:41,060 --> 01:20:42,559 this. 1584 01:20:42,561 --> 01:20:44,961 (DISTORTING): Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Jason. 1585 01:20:44,963 --> 01:20:47,933 ♪ 1586 01:20:55,106 --> 01:20:57,307 - (CLAMORING) - PRIME MINISTER: Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen, 1587 01:20:57,309 --> 01:20:59,475 I think we can all agree that wasn't quite the evening 1588 01:20:59,477 --> 01:21:01,343 we were expecting. 1589 01:21:01,345 --> 01:21:02,512 (SCATTERED CHUCKLES) 1590 01:21:02,514 --> 01:21:04,214 (PRIME MINISTER CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 1591 01:21:04,216 --> 01:21:06,181 (CLEARS THROAT) 1592 01:21:06,183 --> 01:21:08,584 I had hoped to present to you tonight a vision... 1593 01:21:08,586 --> 01:21:10,152 - (WHISPERS): Thank you. - of what Britain 1594 01:21:10,154 --> 01:21:12,688 might be, but as it happens, 1595 01:21:12,690 --> 01:21:15,391 the man who saved us all this evening, the man who, 1596 01:21:15,393 --> 01:21:19,026 I might add, I personally assigned to this case, 1597 01:21:19,028 --> 01:21:21,662 has presented us with a different kind of vision, 1598 01:21:21,664 --> 01:21:23,398 a living embodiment, if you like, 1599 01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:26,434 of those fundamental British qualities 1600 01:21:26,436 --> 01:21:30,371 that have ensured that our beloved island nation endures: 1601 01:21:30,373 --> 01:21:34,008 courage under fire, endless ingenuity, 1602 01:21:34,010 --> 01:21:35,743 and, above all, a quiet... 1603 01:21:35,745 --> 01:21:39,081 unassailable dignity. 1604 01:21:39,982 --> 01:21:42,384 (GASPING, GROANS) 1605 01:21:43,652 --> 01:21:45,587 (EXCITED CHATTER) 1606 01:21:54,763 --> 01:21:55,763 Oh. 1607 01:21:57,765 --> 01:21:59,434 Thank you. 1608 01:22:06,641 --> 01:22:09,476 (CHEERING) 1609 01:22:13,380 --> 01:22:14,646 (REVS ENGINE) 1610 01:22:14,648 --> 01:22:16,115 (CHEERING CONTINUES) 1611 01:22:16,117 --> 01:22:17,451 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 1612 01:22:18,552 --> 01:22:20,685 Welcome back, Mr. English. 1613 01:22:20,687 --> 01:22:22,454 - Thank you, Headmaster. - Thank you for agreeing 1614 01:22:22,456 --> 01:22:25,022 to be our guest speaker. Now, the governors and staff 1615 01:22:25,024 --> 01:22:26,723 are all waiting for us in the rose garden. 1616 01:22:26,725 --> 01:22:28,459 Yes, if you could just excuse me 1617 01:22:28,461 --> 01:22:29,694 for a few minutes, Headmaster. 1618 01:22:29,696 --> 01:22:32,264 - What? - Sir? 1619 01:22:34,801 --> 01:22:36,767 Oh. 1620 01:22:36,769 --> 01:22:39,636 - Morning, sir! - Hello, sir! 1621 01:22:39,638 --> 01:22:40,771 - Welcome back, sir! - Welcome back, sir! 1622 01:22:40,773 --> 01:22:42,673 - Sir! - Hi, sir! 1623 01:22:42,675 --> 01:22:44,208 - Hello, sir! - Welcome back, sir! 1624 01:22:44,210 --> 01:22:45,309 Hi, sir! 1625 01:22:45,311 --> 01:22:47,678 Surprise. 1626 01:22:47,680 --> 01:22:49,278 Thank you. 1627 01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:51,248 Where's Straker? 1628 01:22:51,250 --> 01:22:53,549 (GRUNTS) Here, sir. 1629 01:22:53,551 --> 01:22:55,451 Good. And, of course... 1630 01:22:55,453 --> 01:22:56,719 Baggaley. 1631 01:22:56,721 --> 01:22:58,822 - Oh. - That was very good, very good. 1632 01:22:58,824 --> 01:23:00,623 All right, gather round, everyone, gather round. 1633 01:23:00,625 --> 01:23:01,756 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - What is it? 1634 01:23:01,758 --> 01:23:03,059 - What is it? - I've got some toys 1635 01:23:03,061 --> 01:23:04,426 - to show you. - Yes! - Cool! 1636 01:23:04,428 --> 01:23:06,596 Yes. 1637 01:23:06,598 --> 01:23:09,164 - There we are. There we are. - Ooh! - Jelly Babies! 1638 01:23:09,166 --> 01:23:11,067 Breadstick blowpipe, anyone? 1639 01:23:11,069 --> 01:23:12,767 - KIDS: Me! Me! - There you go. 1640 01:23:12,769 --> 01:23:15,470 - Granny Smith hand grenade? - Mine! - Mine! 1641 01:23:15,472 --> 01:23:16,571 And what about a garroting watch? 1642 01:23:16,573 --> 01:23:18,273 - Here, sir. - There you go. 1643 01:23:18,275 --> 01:23:19,773 - (BLOWS DART) - Aah! 1644 01:23:19,775 --> 01:23:21,475 - KIDS: Ooh. - Here, let me take that. 1645 01:23:21,477 --> 01:23:23,144 Don't worry, it's only a mild sedative. 1646 01:23:23,146 --> 01:23:25,212 - (GROANING): Oh... - What? - (BEEPING) 1647 01:23:25,214 --> 01:23:27,783 Oh. That's just a five-second fuse. 1648 01:23:29,119 --> 01:23:30,451 Y-Yes, all right, we all know 1649 01:23:30,453 --> 01:23:31,785 - what garroting looks like. - (COUGHING) 1650 01:23:31,787 --> 01:23:33,521 Whenever you're ready, Mr. English. 1651 01:23:33,523 --> 01:23:35,089 Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster. 1652 01:23:35,091 --> 01:23:36,690 I'll just be one moment. 1653 01:23:36,692 --> 01:23:38,292 (QUIETLY): Just stick those back in place... 1654 01:23:38,294 --> 01:23:40,428 - Ooh. - Put that away, shall we? 1655 01:23:42,230 --> 01:23:44,398 Yeah? Um... 1656 01:23:44,400 --> 01:23:47,402 HEADMASTER: I always did love a Jelly Baby. 1657 01:23:52,641 --> 01:23:55,577 ("MOVES" BY OLLY MURS FEATURING SNOOP DOGG PLAYING) 1658 01:23:55,579 --> 01:24:00,584 Subtitles by