"Oh, happy dagger!
This is thy sheath.
There rust, and let me die!"
[groans]
-That was great! -[sighs] Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You have a slice of cheese on your forehead.
Uh... Well, flowers are traditional,
but I'll accept cheese.
[Alexa] Now that I had outed myself
and people knew Katie earned the role of Juliet,
she was doing great.
My life was a little more complicated.
Ah, the useless-gift parade has begun.
I got a sympathy fish.
Say hello to Ricardo.
I liked this a lot better when it was happening to you.
Oh, I love goldfish.
He's all yours.
Sorry, Ricardo. It's not you, it's me.
[announcer] Attention, students.
A reminder that yearbook pictures are this Friday.
Ooh! Yearbook photos! OK, that will cheer you up.
Also, a shout-out to freshman Alexa Mendoza
from all of us at Kennedy High.
We just want you to know that we're thinking of you every day.
Stay strong, Alexa Mendoza.
Stay strong.
Could I stand out any more?
Thanks.
Well, at least I have a prom date.
[laughter]
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ When I can't take it any longer ♪
♪ You make me feel stronger ♪
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ When I can't take it ♪
♪ You make it so much better ♪
♪ We'll do this together ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh, we'll do this together ♪
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ We'll do this together ♪
[Alexa sighs]
-What's wrong? -I don't know if I want my picture taken.
What? You have to, OK? It goes in the yearbook.
Exactly.
Fifty years from now, everyone will be pointing me to grandkids,
saying, "That's the sick girl."
[sighs] I want to be remembered as me,
but no one sees me as me.
Uh-oh! Gwenny Thompson alert!
Yes! Gwenny Thompson hates me.
She's incapable of feeling sorry for me.
I know she'll treat me like I'm me.
Bring it on, Gwenny!
-Alexa. -[gasps]
Gwenny.
What a breath of foul air.
Aw! I love that you still have your spirit, happy girl.
[grunts] What is she doing? Did you put something on my back?
[laughs] Oh, I know we've had our differences in the past,
but your heroic journey changes everything.
No, it changes nothing!
Everything is the same.
You know what you are?
You're a fighter. #HereForYou.
-[Alexa] That was horrible. -[Katie] That was so nice!
[Alexa grunts]
-Hi, honey. -Big game tonight.
But we have dinner plans.
I'm kidding! [laughs]
I know, "Nobody talks to Dave during the game."
I love you, hon, but it's the play-offs. Remember how I got last year?
[Dave chuckles]
Oh, I'm sorry. I was practicing not talking to you.
What's that?
Oh, someone dropped off a cookie basket for Alexa.
[Dave sniffs]
Mm! That smell is driving me crazy.
[gasps] Oh, and they're still warm.
But we probably shouldn't open it until Alexa gets home.
No.
Definitely not.
But, you know, if one happened to fall out of the basket by accident...
By accident.
[Dave grunts]
[Lori grunts]
[gasps] Oh!
Oh, that's such a shame.
Unfortunate.
-Yeah. -I split, you pick?
Yeah.
[both laugh]
[Lori] Oh, thanks. Oh.
Hi, sweetie.
-You got a gift basket. -Mm.
-We're thinking of you while we eat. -Mm-hmm.
Cookies? Where does it end?
Hey, no one sent me a cookie basket when I had cancer.
Uh... Who's it from?
From Gwenny?
[cookie thuds]
No!
Now she's in my house!
-This basket is from Gwenny Thompson? -Mm.
You didn't tell me that! That's the girl who egged our house last year.
I forgive her.
[sighs] I'm tossing these. They're almost out of air.
No, they're not. [gasps]
Yeah. No, I see it now.
The world is round, Harry Styles secretly wants to marry me,
and Gwenny Thompson hates me.
These are the things we can count on.
She's disrupted the balance of the universe.
Uh... I thought Harry Styles wanted to secretly marry me.
He secretly just thinks of you as a friend.
You know, you could finally put this silly feud to rest.
If Gwenny's being nice to you,
you could try being nice to Gwenny.
No, I can't do it.
It's not that she's being nice to me, it's why she's being nice to me.
"Your heroic journey changes everything." She's the worst!
[Katie] Whoa. Fine. Look, forget Gwenny.
OK, let's move on to what we're wearing for our photos.
-So, do I wear my-- -Your red shirt.
No question. You just look good in red.
I feel like that's true,
but it's always nice to hear someone else say it.
So, I decided I am gonna take my school photo.
Oh, good.
I just need to find something that says who I am.
Bald says, "I'm sick,"
scarf says, "I'm covering up I'm sick,"
and beanie says the same thing, but with more style.
[gasps] Ooh! Should I wear a beanie?
I feel like we kind of moved on from your look.
So, I guess I'll just wear the wig, then.
It's not really me, but it's the closest I'll get.
I'm a good-looking guy, right?
Well, I mean, I never really thought about it...
but... yeah.
Right.
But my school photos,
every year they're awful.
Grades first through ten. It isn't pretty.
Even though I am.
I don't think you could take a bad pic-- Ah! Whoa!
Why are you smiling like that?
That's my picture smile.
[chuckles] It's somewhere between, "Who farted?" and, "I have to fart."
I cannot have another busted yearbook photo.
Help me test new smiles I've been working on.
Sure.
Oh, yes!
Ooh! These look so good!
Ooh, you're gonna love that one.
Yeah, and great.
And we're done.
Ooh! So, how did they turn out?
[chuckles] They were all selfies of me.
And they were super cute.
[Lucas] Hey!
[commentator] Welcome to Wrigley Field for today's...
OK! Game time!
Let's go, Nats!
Cubs are going down!
...and the Chicago Cubs.
Hi! Uh... I know it's last minute, but our TV broke.
Any chance we could watch the play-offs here?
Absolutely! Come on in.
Let's go, Cubs! Yeah!
[Jack grunts]
I forgot how much better their TV is than ours.
It's like we're in Best Buy.
[Jennifer laughs]
Oh, homemade guacamole!
And are those mini crab cakes?
Ooh! [chuckles]
Uh... Lori, I forgot to talk to you about that thing.
Why did you tell them they can watch with me?
Oh, am I allowed to talk now?
They're our friends.
They're Cubs fans!
So you're gonna tell an eight-year-old boy he can't watch a baseball game?
I was hoping you would.
Let's go, Cubbies!
Now, Jack, we're at the Mendozas' house,
and if Dave wants to root for a team that is inferior in every way,
we have to respect that.
[Dave chuckles]
It's 0-1.
Strike? Are you blind?
[sighs] So, have you taken the TV into the shop, or--
Dave.
[Dave sighs]
This is nice.
The janitor this morning asked me if the hallways were warm enough
and then gave me a sweater from the lost-and-found.
It was nice and I kept it, but still...
I'm sorry.
But on the plus side,
now that people know why I shaved my head,
I'm looking like a real hero.
-Alexa. -[gasps]
Gwenny.
How do you walk so quietly on those claws?
[laughs] LOL! I got you something.
-This had better be a bag of snakes. -You're so funny!
I know how hard it must have been not being able to go out for basketball,
so I had this made for you.
We want you to remember...
you'll always be the point guard of our hearts.
-That's nice. -Nice?
It's a sympathy jersey!
You're my enemy and I'm yours.
So do us both a favor: drop the act,
and just go back to your normal horrible self.
Aw! Poor thing.
Me being here is causing you stress, so I'll go.
Enjoy the jersey.
[scoffs] Yeah, I won't!
You know, i-it's stupid and I hate it!
[grunts]
What is this thing made of?
[Alexa sighs]
I need some part of my school life to be normal,
and that part is going to be Gwenny.
-So you know what I'm gonna bring back? -Leg warmers?
The prank war.
Oh, no, not the prank war.
No, I'm doing Gwenny a favor.
OK, she's miserable being nice to me.
So now we have to think up a bunch of pranks?
[scoffs] "Think up"?
OK. "Lucas pranks, Mom pranks."
-Oh, here, "Gwenny." -Oh, wait.
[chuckles] Did I see my name on there?
That's... a different Katie.
[commentator] And with that infield hit, that puts the tying run in the hold...
But there are two outs here in the bottom of the ninth.
5-1, our score. Nationals are up by four.
Evers is now the runner in second base. Steinfeld...
Our guest would like another juice box.
At the ballpark, they cut you off after the seventh inning.
Hey, Mom.
Check out this new smile.
I call it "October Chill."
Yeah, not your best.
Nice face. Who farted?
Honey, I just don't get it.
You're so handsome.
I know.
[sighs] No matter what I do, I come out looking like some kind of forest animal.
OK, well, you've got to keep working at it,
because as you go through life, you need a special smile for every occasion.
-Hmm. -This is my Christmas smile.
This is my roller coaster smile.
That's right, Jack! How does it taste?
[laughs]
And this is my "your father is fighting with an eight-year-old" smile.
They do have the bases loaded.
Fastball... Swung on. It's up high. Is it gonna get...
-Come on, come on, come on! -No, no, no!
And that will clear the bases!
Yes!
Tying run on second!
Evers has scored. Steinfeld has scored. Here comes Chance.
And just like that, it's 5-4!
Now, Jack...
Jack!
We talked about this.
We've been invited to watch the game here as guests of Dave.
-We should appreciate his generosity. -Thank you.
You're very welcome, and you're out of hummus.
I-I'll just... I'll have a mini taco instead.
He swings at the first pitch, a lazy fly ball to the right...
-Catch it! Catch it! Catch it! -It's going! It's going!
-No! -Yes!
[laughs]
Whoo! That's the game, baby!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Nats win! Nats win!
How does that feel, little man? Whoo! Whoo!
It burns! It bu-- [grunts]
You know, because the Nationals won.
[laughs]
Yeah, you see, he's a Cubs fan, so, uh...
[exhales]
All in good fun. Right, guy? [chuckles]
There's still a game five.
You're a grown man.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
See you tomorrow. Jack, get the door.
OK.
I know her better than she knows herself.
The real Gwenny is still in there. We just have to pull her out.
[flatulence]
[sighs] A year ago, the whoopee cushion thing alone
would have sent Gwenny into full-on revenge mode.
We need to turn up the heat.
You're driving yourself crazy just to get Gwenny to be mean to you?
Goldfish and teddy bears from strangers are one thing,
but kindness from Gwenny Thompson is wrong.
It's just wrong.
My world has turned upside down and it's up to me to turn it right-side up.
OK.
Well, it sounds like you've got this figured out.
[groans] And I'm back in.
What if Mrs. Calhoun finds out you kidnapped Murray from the science lab?
A woman who names a tarantula has made an attachment.
Whoa. You know Gwenny's combination?
You are a scary, scary woman.
[chuckles] Thank you.
Gwenny's gonna kill you.
I know!
And everything will feel normal again.
-[bell rings] -Showtime!
-Hey, Cameron. -Oh, hey, Gwenny.
[locker opens]
Dude, do not move!
OK. Someone wants to keep the conversation going.
Imagine the biggest spider you've ever seen.
Then imagine it on your shoulder, because that's what's happening.
[screams]
[Alexa laughs]
Good boy! Who's a good boy?
Whoa. That is messed up.
I've got to go.
You put a tarantula in my locker?
I did. What are you gonna do about it?
I'm going to...
remember that you are dealing with so much.
I'm on Team Alexa.
[sighs] What's the point?
Gwenny will never treat me the same way. Everyone just feels sorry for me.
That's not true.
[Alexa] Oh, really? Look at my locker.
Maybe this should be my yearbook photo.
Come on, come on. Um... Let's try another prank.
Just forget it.
[sighs] Alexa.
Gwenny! Gwenny, can't you please retaliate against Alexa?
Don't you think I want to? I can't be seen being mean to a girl with cancer!
What would people think of me?
Oh, well, if it helps,
not that many people like you.
[sighs] Come on, Gwenny.
You've got to do something evil and awful. It will make you feel better.
I know.
Nope.
I'm going to go home and steam my new dress for picture day tomorrow.
Steaming things calms me.
I can't control the world; I can control the wrinkles.
I know how to bring back the old Gwenny, Murray.
Murray?
OK, where did he go?
OK, he couldn't have gone very far.
Murray?
Murray, buddy?
Oh, Murray?
Murray?
[commentator] And the dish is... grounded out towards short stop.
-No! -[Jack cheers]
Jack.
Dave.
That was an unfortunate turn of events.
[restrained] Woo hoo!
I think I solved my yearbook picture problem.
Oh, good!
I'm not taking one.
I just can't find the right smile.
It's a shame that future people won't know what...
what this really looked like.
OK. No, you're not giving up, all right? We're practicing right now.
All right. Give me your most beautiful smile.
OK. Honey, you're not even trying!
Come on. Is this what you want to look like in your yearbook?
Yes!
This is it.
This look says, "I've got something on my mind."
And what exactly is that?
I have no idea.
Erikson pitches--
Oh, come on!
That's gonna be out. Number 2, on the infield grass.
Enjoying yourself?
[hums tune]
How about we make this more fun? Want to bet an ice cream cone?
[chuckles] An ice cream cone?
Lame-o!
Oh, yeah, Cubs fan? What do you have in mind?
Oh, I don't bet. [chuckles]
Any more.
I know.
The loser has to paint his face the winning team's colors tomorrow.
And keep it on the whole day.
[chuckles]
You'll look good in red and white.
A base hit wins the series for the Nats. An out...
I can't watch!
Oh, come on!
Swung on looping line drive!
Go! Go, go, go!
He's out!
An amazing catch over the shoulder by Dwayne Woodard! I can't believe it!
The Cubs win the series!
Aren't you gonna celebrate?
No.
You've been a wonderful host.
Let's go, Jack. Let's be gracious winners.
-Thank you. -No, Dave, thank you.
[door opens and closes]
[euphoric cheering]
[Jack] Cubbies win!
[both chanting] Cubs! Cubs! Cubs!
[Jack] Whoo! We made it!
[cheering continues]
Gwenny is ready to break.
One more prank will push her over the edge.
And I just need you to be my lookout.
Ooh! So, what's the prank?
I...
am going to destroy...
Gwenny's picture-day dress.
There!
-That's it? -It won't tie at the top now!
Bam! [chuckles]
OK, now I slip it back in her locker
with a fake note I wrote from Alexa, taking credit.
Status quo restored, Alexa happy. [chuckles]
OK, this prank doesn't require a lookout.
It barely requires you.
[Katie scoffs]
OK, this is a great prank,
and will be talked about wherever people talk about pranks.
OK, get my fake note. Oh, no, no, no.
[gasps]
[lock clicks]
Whoa!
-No, no, no, no! -[flushes]
No!
No! Come on!
[grunts]
Give it back!
[grunts]
Oh, no! No, no, no.
[retches]
No! No, no, no.
No. No! Pranks are awful!
Then why do people like this?
[bell rings]
[gasps]
[Gwenny] I...
cannot...
believe her!
Oh, I'm so done!
Do not mess with Gwyneth Ernestine Thompson!
[Gwenny screams]
[Gwenny panting]
What happened?
Well... [clears throat]
...I have good news and bad news.
Good news is Gwenny hates you again.
Seriously? That's awesome!
Yes, yes.
And um...
And keep that in mind when you hear the bad news.
This is how much she hates you again.
Oh, my God!
Wait, I-I have to take my photo next period!
I know. I'll stall the photographer.
I-I can call in a fake fire.
I'll set a fire!
Whoa, now!
I have to call my mom. Maybe she can get a new wig before then.
Katie!
I hope my mom makes it. We only have five minutes left.
[sighs] I can't believe I did this to you.
Are you kidding?
You got Gwenny back to normal by doing a prank, which you hate.
And you did it for me.
You're amazing.
And a little scary.
[Katie chuckles]
Thank you.
[sighs] Come on, Mom.
[Dave] Make way! Hot wig!
Got a hot wig coming through!
-[Lori] Door! -[Dave] Got it!
Oh, you made it!
Yeah. Wait, so what happened to you?
What happened to Dad?
Jack's a jerk.
-Hey, thank you both. -Yeah.
-[Dave] OK. -[Lori] OK.
-Hey, another Cubs fan-- -No, I am not a Cubs fan!
I hate the Cubs!
Stop looking at me!
-OK. -I've got to go home with him.
You know how hard I was trying to be nice to you?
-But you just couldn't let it be. -Because it wasn't you.
And the only thing worse than you is a fake you.
Well, congratulations.
Being sick hasn't changed you a bit.
You are exactly the same person as you were before.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
-You owe me a dress. -You owe me a wig.
Alexa Mendoza, you're next.
OK. Ready?
On my count.
One... two...
You know what? I need a second.
[Alexa] It's hard to feel like yourself when no one treats you like yourself.
I may have been a girl with cancer, but I was still me.
Both things were true.
And this is what I looked like.
[chuckles] Oh, and I almost forgot,
that wasn't even the most memorable photo that year.
[upbeat theme music plays]
♪ Hey! ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ We'll do this together ♪