1
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,774
<i>[Diane] This is how it started.</i>

2
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,105
<i>Four best friends and a book.</i>

3
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,074
<i>Vivian was the one who had the idea.</i>

4
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,776
<i>She'd seen it in a magazine,</i>

5
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,702
<i>and it was that very first book</i>

6
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,621
<i>that gave her a lifelong philosophy.</i>

7
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,826
[man] You know what
I find sexiest about you?

8
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,584
Do tell.

9
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,037
You don't need me.

10
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,542
[Vivian] I don't need anyone.

11
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,465
It's the secret to my success.

12
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,589
<i>[Diane] And successful she was.</i>

13
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,588
<i>The hotel we were standing
in front of... [scoffs]</i>

14
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,638
<i>...she owns.</i>

15
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:29,966
<i>And ten years later,</i>

16
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,267
<i>she tore it down
and built a new one.</i>

17
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,391
[desk clerk]
Good morning, Miss O'Donnell.

18
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,723
[chattering]

19
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,353
Uh-huh.

20
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,069
Yeah, I'll call you back.

21
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,738
[men chattering]

22
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:47,650
Slim?

23
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,110
<i>[Diane] This is Arthur.</i>

24
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:52,370
<i>The first time they had sex
was on a mix board.</i>

25
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,323
<i>They were madly in love.</i>

26
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,532
<i>He proposed.</i>

27
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,326
<i>She said no.</i>

28
00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:58,501
<i>He left town.</i>

29
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,754
[98808] My, oh, my.

30
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:02,877
Arthur Riley.

31
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,879
What's it been, 40 years?

32
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:08,470
That's impossible.
That would mean I was only six.

33
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,422
- Still a wiseass, huh?
-[chuckles] Yeah.

34
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,804
Old habits die hard.

35
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,264
I got to get back
to this meeting, but, uh,

36
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,971
are you going to be
in town for a while?

37
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,307
I would hope so. I do live here.

38
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,686
I'll find you.

39
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,601
It's good to see you, Slim.

40
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,988
<i>[Diane] Now, Sharon
was Vivian's roommate</i>

41
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,611
<i>as an undergrad at Stanford.</i>

42
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,783
<i>- Then she went to law school.
Jgavelbangs]</i>

43
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,246
<i>Of the 301 people
in her graduating class,</i>

44
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,956
<i>62 were women.</i>

45
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:39,160
<i>Of the 62,
one became a federal judge.</i>

46
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,342
He's on the phone now?

47
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,256
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're going to take

48
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,009
a five-minute recess.

49
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,385
All rise.

50
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:56,014
This court will stand
in recess for five minutes.

51
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:59,889
No, no, no.
You're never interrupting.

52
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,223
How is Hawaii?

53
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,689
You got en-- engaged?

54
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,066
Why? I mean, wow!

55
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,523
I didn't mean "why,"
I meant "wow." Wow.

56
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,827
Well, if I sound judgmental, that...

57
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,074
That's a professional hazard.

58
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,989
Who's Cheryl?

59
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:22,495
[inhales] Oh, I didn't know
your father was seeing someone.

60
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,295
Good for him.

61
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,248
And you. Good for both...

62
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:28,629
Congratulations all around. Yeah.

63
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,337
<i>[Diane] In 1985, Sharon married Tom</i>

64
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,888
<i>because he made her laugh.</i>

65
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,591
<i>By 1999, she was no longer laughing.</i>

66
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,893
<i>And the final straw came
when Tom asked her</i>

67
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,766
<i>what "Don Quix-ote" was about.</i>

68
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,271
<i>The marriage ended
and Sharon bought a cat.</i>

69
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,894
[cat meows]

70
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:46,102
<i>[Diane] Carol put herself
through culinary school,</i>

71
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,232
<i>working as a waitress at a diner.</i>

72
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,691
<i>She had two goals in life:</i>

73
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:56,820
<i>one, to own and operate
her own restaurant,</i>

74
00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:01,329
<i>and two, to marry the man
of her dreams, Bruce Colby.</i>

75
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,035
<i>Since the moment they met,</i>

76
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,837
<i>they've not been able to
keep their hands off each other.</i>

77
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,165
{squeals} Ooh!
- Happy anniversary.

78
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,876
Happy anniversary.

79
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,005
[Carol] Dance lessons!

80
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,680
- Oh.
- Yep.

81
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,133
- Wow.
- Yes.

82
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,343
Because the No Kid Hungry fundraiser

83
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,646
is a talent show this year
and I signed us up.

84
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:25,148
- To be in the talent show?
- Yes!

85
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,351
I thought it was something fun
we could do together

86
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,811
now that you're retired.

87
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,317
Now this is gorgeous!

88
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,616
- Oh!
- Eargasms!

89
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,736
Yeah, I got us both a pair.

90
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,247
Multiple Eargasms.
Who does not love that?

91
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:45,373
Well, no, it's so you can watch TV
in bed without disturbing me,

92
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,705
and my snoring
won't keep you awake.

93
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,462
- Huh?
- That's very thoughtful.

94
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,924
What do you say we get home and...

95
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,971
- I say yes.
- Yay.

96
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,391
[Bruce snores]

97
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,427
[snores louder]

98
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,766
<i>[Diane] And then, there's me.</i>

99
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,189
<i>I didn't know what my path
was going to be,</i>

100
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,687
<i>and then it hit me,
with a wave of nausea.</i>

101
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,611
<i>Because of this guy,
Harry Whittaker.</i>

102
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,901
<i>We got married, and I became</i> a...

103
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,448
{women} Mom!
-[Diane] What?

104
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:16,821
[woman] Stop already.

105
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,245
What? No!
I just need to clear the caulk.

106
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,823
- Clear the caulk?
- Yes.

107
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,785
There's a cute little ladybug
trying to get out the window.

108
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,461
Okay, someone's been watching
way too much HGTV.

109
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,790
- Huh?
- Mom, put the screwdriver down.

110
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,256
What?

111
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,675
- Mom.
- Uh-huh?

112
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,922
- We've been talking.
- Yes?

113
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,003
We want to move you to Arizona.

114
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,761
Move me? Oh, my God.
What am I, cattle?

115
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,059
<i>[Diane] These are our two daughters.</i>

116
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:46,104
<i>Harry is an accountant.
Well, he was an accountant.</i>

117
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,431
Your house is falling apart,

118
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,188
and you don't have Dad to fix it.

119
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,520
I know, but, my friends,
they live here.

120
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:55,485
And your family lives there.

121
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,191
We just want you close to us, Mom.

122
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,196
No, but...

123
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:01,245
- Feel it out for the weekend.
- If not for you, for us, please.

124
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,447
- It's what Dad would've wanted.
- All right.

125
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,624
<i>[Diane] Well,
it's been over 40 years</i>

126
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:09,545
<i>and through it all, every month,
we still get together for...</i>

127
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,005
[wine cork pops]

128
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,549
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Arthur as in Arthur?

129
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,877
Wait a minute.
Are you talking about...

130
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,930
-radio-station-sex Arthur?
- Yes!

131
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,757
Proposed-with-a-milkshake Arthur.

132
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,684
That Arthur.
And he's staying at the hotel.

133
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,727
Does he not hate you, though?
He's got to.

134
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,646
No. That was 40 years ago!

135
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,020
Yeah, but still.
Oh! There she is.

136
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,025
My son is engaged
and my husband is in Maui

137
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,232
with a tartlet named Cheryl.

138
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,191
[Diane] Oh...

139
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,617
I need a drink.

140
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,319
Your "husband"?

141
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,155
You can't possibly still care
about what Tom is doing.

142
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,615
I don't care.

143
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,666
But the guy gets seasick
in a swimming pool.

144
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,619
I mean, what the hell
is he doing in Maui?

145
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,497
Sounds like he's
doing Cheryl in Maui.

146
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,048
Oh, please.

147
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,835
Who gets involved
in a relationship at 67?

148
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,420
I mean, what is the point?

149
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,426
The point is to get laid.
It's always the point.

150
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:06,476
- Don't make me sick.
- Who still says "get laid"?

151
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,019
Who still has any interest?

152
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,973
No, no, no. I am not gonna
let us become those people.

153
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,354
- What people...
- You know what people.

154
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,027
The people who stop living
before they stop living.

155
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,979
I haven't had sex since my divorce

156
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,737
and it's been the happiest
18 years of my life.

157
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,616
[gasps] That must be
some kind of record.

158
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:28,119
I mean, what even happens
to a vagina after 18 years?

159
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,667
I think Werner Herzog
did a documentary on that.

160
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,461
Yeah. It's called
The Cave of Forgotten Dreams.

161
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,880
Okay! Will you stop it?

162
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,209
Moving on.
Let's talk about the book.

163
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,544
Oh, God. The hiking book? Really?

164
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,675
Come on! I liked it!

165
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:46,179
It's such a remarkable undertaking.
Can you imagine?

166
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:50,057
No, I cannot. I don't even
like walking to my mailbox.

167
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,434
It's just an amazing story.

168
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:55,233
So many layers. I wouldn't
even know how to break it down.

169
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,685
I'll break it down for you.

170
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,611
She hikes, she lost her boot,
she did heroin.

171
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,189
Did you only read the back cover?

172
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,523
[Vivian gulps] I wish.

173
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,404
I kept wanting to shout at her,

174
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,407
“Oh, wait ten years, honey.
Dry shampoo is coming."

175
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,488
If you would ever
connect with something

176
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,118
on a more emotional level...

177
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,542
Emotional connection
is highly overrated.

178
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,962
You have not had an emotional
connection for 40 years.

179
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,586
Wow, that must be
some type of record.

180
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,793
Yeah, but what happens
to emotions after 4O years?

181
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,298
Okay, okay,
are you guys having fun?

182
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:26,097
Oh, come on.
You know we love you.

183
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,845
Maybe it's time
you did take a hike

184
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,018
and try to reconnect
with your own true self.

185
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,436
I'll buy you a backpack.

186
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,230
I'll tell you how to reconnect
with your own true self,

187
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,649
and it ain't by walking alone
through the desert.

188
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:41,738
I would like to introduce you
to Christian Grey.

189
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,110
Oh...

190
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:44,698
Oh, no.

191
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,776
[Vivian] It was a bestseller
made into a movie.

192
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,033
- That is our theme this year.
- Oh, wow.

193
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:50,864
We are not reading this.

194
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,073
[Vivian] It's my month!

195
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,955
When it's your month,
you can choose whatever

196
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,627
boring, depressing book you want.

197
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,205
I'm not sure
this qualifies as a book.

198
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,131
Well, 50 million people
can't be wrong.

199
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:03,085
To-- To even be holding
this book is embarrassing.

200
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,886
Who's judging you, your cat?

201
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,430
I do like the idea of a romance.

202
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,599
We are too old!

203
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,427
[Carol] But it says right here
"for mature audiences."

204
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,308
Yeah, that certainly sounds like us.

205
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:18,392
We started this book club
to stimulate our minds.

206
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,729
Well, from what I hear,
this book is quite stimulating.

207
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:22,778
Oh, God.

208
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,073
So... come on!

209
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,526
- Let's toast to our new book.
-[Carol] All right.

210
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,611
- Oh, good.
- Drink up. Hoist that glass.

211
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,992
-[Carol] Yeah.
- Happy reading, ladies!

212
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,747
[Whispers] Oh...

213
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,041
[grunts] Oh, God.

214
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,123
[sighs] Okay.

215
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,348
Oh, my... [groans]

216
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,766
[groans] Oh, I didn't...

217
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,843
I'm really so terribly...

218
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,645
I'm so sorry.

219
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,688
'III 'III

220
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,765
[Diane laughs softly]

221
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,067
- You need some help?
- I'm sorry. No, I'm fine.

222
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,440
I really didn't mean to disturb you.

223
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,272
- Too late.
- I know, I know.

224
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,321
Wow. [exhales]

225
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,322
It's... This is so humiliating.

226
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,488
[sighs]

227
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,742
- Are you okay?
- I'm...

228
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,995
- I'm really scared of flying.
- You shouldn't be.

229
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,878
Oh, yeah, well,
I won't be once these...

230
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,455
kick into my bloodstream.

231
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,041
The safest way to travel.

232
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,752
- Want to know why you think that?
- Why?

233
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:30,089
Because you never met anybody
who's been in a plane crash.

234
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,593
- And you want to know why?
- Why?

235
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,220
Because they're all dead.

236
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,058
I think those pills
are affecting you already.

237
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,232
[chuckles] I think so.
Oh, my God.

238
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,853
What-- What takes you to Arizona?

239
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,435
Oh, my...

240
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,520
- My daughters live there.
- Hmm.

241
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,071
Well, that should be fun.

242
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,490
Not exactly.

243
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,275
They're kind of forcing me to go.

244
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:51,359
Why?

245
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,536
[sighs] Well...

246
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:58,082
my husband, he died last year, so...

247
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,289
Plane crash?

248
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:03,167
[laughs] Oh! You didn't say that.

249
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,924
- Sorry, that was a bad joke.
- That's okay.

250
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,593
- I'm really sorry for your loss.
- I'm sorry, too. No, well...

251
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,966
Thank you, that's sweet.
Thank you so much.

252
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,048
- Yeah...
-[thump]

253
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,383
- Oh!
{Woman} Hey!

254
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,466
[shrieks]

255
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:16,722
[groans]

256
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,678
Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

257
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,809
[whispers] Oh, this is terrible.

258
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,065
- Wow.
- I'm so...

259
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:26,145
[stammers] That was the jet bridge
and we're still on the ground.

260
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,983
- We're still on the ground?
- Yeah.

261
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:31,236
I'm so terribly sorry.

262
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:33,489
[groans]

263
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,491
- I'm quite all right.
- Okay.

264
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,993
Anything I can do to make
your flight more comfortable.

265
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,200
I appreciate that,
thank you so much.

266
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,456
[pop music playing]

267
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,789
[inaudible]

268
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,592
[whispers] Oh, Jesus.

269
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,217
[sighs]

270
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,600
Oh, wow.

271
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,315
[sighs] on...

272
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:10,859
Oh.

273
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,698
Okay-

274
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,527
[whispers]
Give me a break, okay?

275
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,533
This...

276
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,613
[scoffs]

277
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,743
<i>[Vivian] Whoa!</i>

278
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,334
[groans]

279
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,878
[groans] Oh, my God, yes.

280
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,043
- You know, I was wondering.
- Huh?

281
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,094
That must have been one heck
of a book you were reading.

282
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,387
May I ask what it was?

283
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:38,092
<i>- Moby Dick. That's</i> what <i>it was.
- Moby Dick.</i>

284
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,926
Uh-huh. Melville.

285
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,767
I didn't realize Christian Grey
had a nickname.

286
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,938
- Enjoy Arizona.
- Yeah, sure, of course.

287
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,394
Not a problem.

288
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:01,282
[assistant, over intercom] Miss O'Donnell,
<i>I</i> have an Arthur <i>Riley</i> for you.

289
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,704
Is that so?

290
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,169
Take a message.

291
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,376
[Arthur] Take a message?

292
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,626
Really?

293
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:10,878
[sighs]

294
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,259
I didn't realize that...

295
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,631
[clears throat]
that you were here.

296
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,464
We just saw each other
in the lobby two days ago.

297
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,434
Pity. They say the memory
is the second thing to go.

298
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,389
- What's the first thing to go?
- Can't remember.

299
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,393
I'm impressed.

300
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,524
- How did you find me?
- Google.

301
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,401
- Google?
- Yeah. It's a service on the computer.

302
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,777
Yeah, I know Google.

303
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,781
Oh, well, I'm younger than you,
so I didn't know...

304
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,329
Oh, cute. Cute.

305
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,872
What do you say?

306
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,824
May a gentleman buy you
a cup of coffee?

307
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,035
Well, a gentleman certainly may.

308
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,536
Do you know of one?

309
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,756
It was the mid-'80s.

310
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,006
I became obsessed
with risk management.

311
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,928
You obsessed with work?

312
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,051
That's crazy.

313
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,633
I know, right? Shocking!

314
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:06,187
I could see the system
was set up for trouble.

315
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,435
Of course, none of the men
in my firm believed me.

316
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,939
Well, men can be
a little slow on the uptake.

317
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,316
Bad for them, good for me.

318
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,022
And, um...

319
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,862
you never picked up
a husband along the way?

320
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:21,994
No!

321
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,456
Like I said, I'm way too good...

322
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,580
at forecasting risk.

323
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,205
I figure by now, I've saved myself

324
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,538
-a lot of money in legal fees.
- True dat.

325
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:35,417
How about you?
ls there a Mrs. Riley?

326
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,127
Oh, yes.

327
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,171
The good Mrs. Riley
is back on the East Coast,

328
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,758
having absconded with
my last name, my dog,

329
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,684
and my co-op on the park.

330
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,436
What did you do wrong?

331
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:48,889
Well, let’s just say

332
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,225
I was a little less good
at assessing risk.

333
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,494
Whoa! Tom, talk about
false advertising.

334
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,746
[trumpet sounds through speakers]

335
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,796
[Whispers] Whoa!

336
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,218
Jesus.

337
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,095
<i>[woman, over computer] Join Tom
and Cheryl and millions of others</i>

338
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,471
<i>who found love on Bumble.</i>

339
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:31,022
Join Tom and Cheryl as they
copulate in a coconut tree.

340
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,474
-[assistant] Judge Meyers?
- Yes.

341
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,980
Hi. It's 12:15.

342
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,946
Well, I really have
to stay with this, so, um...

343
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,825
If you could just tell them that we have
to move it to next week, please.

344
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:43,947
Of course. Yeah.

345
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,573
<i>[woman, over computer]
Rev up your love life</i>

346
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,030
<i>with these tips from Bumble--</i>

347
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,616
<i>Make love happen now
and change your life--</i>

348
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,201
Do you need anything else,
Your Honor?

349
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,753
<i>[woman, over computer] A man
of your dreams is just</i> a <i>click away.</i>

350
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,000
No, I don't. I'm fine.

351
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,581
- Thank you.
- Yep.

352
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,004
[door opens, closes]

353
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,678
[Arthur] Here you go.
Make a wish.

354
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,928
What are you doing?

355
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,055
I made a wish.

356
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,181
What did you wish for?

357
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,854
I always wish for the same thing:
a healthy planet.

358
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,768
That's not your wish.

359
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,942
That's not even a wish!

360
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,520
Wishes have to be personal,
not global.

361
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,605
- Since when?
- Since forever.

362
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,523
[sighs]

363
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,781
And secondly, you can't
tell anybody your wish.

364
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,783
Otherwise it negates the whole thing.

365
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,703
No, God, you're not gonna
go in there. Don't do that.

366
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,158
Well, somebody has to.

367
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,869
You made an improper wish

368
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,874
and you've jeopardized
the entire planet.

369
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,123
Oh, God, you are insane.

370
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,254
You are insane! Don't go in!

371
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,676
[grunts] Oh...

372
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:42,968
I have no choice here.

373
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,671
You're obviously the type of person

374
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,223
who's too delicate
to go in after her own penny.

375
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,887
Oh, you think I'm delicate?

376
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,932
[shrieks]

377
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,558
See? Delicate.

378
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,141
You know, what you're reading
as delicate is this.

379
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,148
It's this bracelet
that costs as much as a car!

380
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:00,604
Let's see that bracelet.

381
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,154
- Oh, no. Not my phone--
- Oh, dear!

382
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,903
- Oh, dear.
- No, no. Oh, boy.

383
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,700
- Now you have done it.
- Oh, what do you mean?

384
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:09,529
God, it's scary how addicted
you kids are to your phone.

385
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,909
-[grunts]
- No, give it to me!

386
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,786
Hold on one second here!

387
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,993
[chuckles] I've never seen...

388
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:18,171
You know, I think you might need
to talk to someone about this.

389
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,590
I see why you lost
your co-op on the park.

390
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,965
- I hope that's waterproof.
- Oh, no. [squeals]

391
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,303
[chuckles]

392
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,972
[whistle blowing]

393
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,393
- No bathing in the fountain.
-[Arthur] Okay!

394
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,220
But technically, we're not bathing.

395
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,977
- Arthur.
- And she started it.

396
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,730
He doesn't care who started it!
It was him.

397
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,478
- Out.
- All right.

398
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,939
Oh! Ah, wait a minute.

399
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:48,117
- I found it.
- Oh, that's so great.

400
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,445
Oh! Did you see that?

401
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,614
Would you mind just taking a photo?

402
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,167
[sighs] I hate my life.

403
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,957
It might take a little bit of time,

404
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,963
but you're gonna love it
here in Arizona.

405
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,589
- I don't--
- Let's face it...

406
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,842
You being here
makes more sense for all of us.

407
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,845
We can't jump on a plane
every time something happens to you.

408
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,642
What are you talking about,
"happens to me"?

409
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,516
You could slip and fall
at any moment.

410
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,643
I don't want to overstate the dangers

411
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,941
for a woman your age living alone,

412
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,610
but I did research online,
and it's pretty alarming.

413
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,188
But you do know, I mean,
I'm really not that old.

414
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,945
Well, no, you're not, Mom,
but neither was Dad.

415
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,818
I know, honey, I know.

416
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:30,992
I need a coffee.

417
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,287
Well, the good coffee
is all the way upstairs.

418
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,909
Mom, why don't you wait down here?

419
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,161
Wait down here? Sure.

420
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,618
God forbid, I can't go up
an escalator at my age.

421
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,170
But hurry back. I could slip and fall
at any moment.

422
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,872
- Just sit there, Mommy.
- Ooh!

423
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,834
<i>- I'll</i> get you a chamomile?
-[sighs] Oh, God. Yeah, thanks.

424
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,759
- Be careful!
- Uh-huh.

425
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,387
[old man] They brought
the kids to see you?

426
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,013
- Yeah.
-[old man] That's good.

427
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,470
- Oh, God, what?
-[cell phone ringing]

428
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,687
<i>- Hello.
-[Carol] Have you ever been spanked?</i>

429
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,064
- What?
- As an adult, sexually.

430
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,147
I mean, is this
what people are doing?

431
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,652
Carol, it's Diane.
You dialed the wrong number.

432
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,609
No. Have you not read the book?

433
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,410
<i>[Diane] Yes. I've read it.
Of course I have.</i>

434
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,830
<i>- And?
- I don't know who her lawyer is,</i>

435
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,828
<i>but she should not have
signed that contract.</i>

436
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,705
Look, clearly,
we have things to discuss.

437
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,912
I'm gonna call
an emergency book club.

438
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,213
That means you got to
get back here, pronto.

439
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,461
I'd come back
for an emergency colonoscopy,

440
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,918
but it's just a little bit
more complicated here.

441
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,754
Oh, God. How is life in Scottsdale?

442
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,890
Well, I don't know, I feel like I'm...

443
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,344
-[snoring]
-...in an episode of The Walking Dead.

444
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,021
Wait a second. You sound
out of breath. Where are you?

445
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:44,567
I'm going to a...
a dance rehearsal and I'm late.

446
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,736
- You're late? You're never late.
- I know!

447
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:49,405
This book has got me
in a total tizzy. Just get back here.

448
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,528
I'll get back there. Bye.

449
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,864
[sighs]

450
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,366
-[Carol] Wow.
- Chin up.

451
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,571
[Latin music playing]

452
00:19:57,655 --> 00:20:01,876
And one, two, three.
Go, two, three.

453
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:05,125
- One, two, three.
- One, two, three. Wait.

454
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,626
"Stop!
{musk Stops]

455
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,834
Stop, stop, Stop!

456
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,841
Honey, I think we're supposed
to go this way.

457
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:13,921
To the left.

458
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,722
Right. Which is What I did.

459
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,051
His left. This way.

460
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,520
Back, two, three.
Side, two, three.

461
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,098
Okay, I got it. I was wrong.

462
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:25,854
I was wrong, you were right.

463
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,480
My little Fred Astaire.

464
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,437
I will follow you
wherever you want to go.

465
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,614
- How about lunch?
- We start again.

466
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,487
You know what? I'm wondering...

467
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,034
Do you think it would be
possible for us

468
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,578
to just skip straight
to our choreography?

469
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,578
We must first learn... to dance!

470
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,913
Right. I know.

471
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,917
But I sort of do know
how to dance. Come on, I do.

472
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,795
I still remember
the whole tap dance

473
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,672
to "Red, Red Robin Goes
Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along“

474
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,378
that I did when I was six.

475
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,259
It's like savant-ish.

476
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,931
[in Hungarian]
Sounds like you peaked early.

477
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,304
What?

478
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,260
- What did she say?
- You're asking me?

479
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:06,562
So, what is going on
with little Ginsburg here?

480
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,695
Well, she's not herself lately.

481
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,864
She... She has no energy.

482
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:16,158
She's really lost the spark of life.

483
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,110
She's just kind of blah.

484
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,697
It sounds like we have
a lethargic pussy on our hands.

485
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,239
Seriously?

486
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,333
Have there been
any changes at home?

487
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:26,786
Any new people or pets
moving in or out?

488
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:28,462
[chuckles] At home? Oh, God, no.

489
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,881
There hasn't been
a change at home forever.

490
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,378
And what about diet?

491
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,049
I've tried a few, but I like to eat.

492
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:39,678
So whatever weight I take off,
I put right back on, so...

493
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,634
it's useless.

494
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,435
You're talking about the cat.

495
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,684
I am a veterinarian.

496
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,765
I knew that.

497
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,319
[flight attendant, over PA]
<i>Would</i> the passenger in seat 17-D

498
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:52,940
<i>please report to the cockpit?</i>

499
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,523
<i>I repeat, the passenger in seat 17-D,</i>

500
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:58,450
<i>please report to the cockpit.
Thank you.</i>

501
00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:03,910
-[Diane] Oh.
- Hi.

502
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:07,243
I just need a little bit
more information from you.

503
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,203
Oh. Oh.

504
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,673
Urn, we need phone numbers,
home and cell.

505
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:13,874
And cell...

506
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,926
Also, a current home address.

507
00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:17,799
What, really?

508
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:18,879
Uh-huh.

509
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,556
Oh, okay.

510
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:24,511
Also, an email and whatever
nights you are typically free.

511
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,186
- You...
-[door unlocks]

512
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:27,684
You've got to be kidding me.

513
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,811
Pilots, we never kid
about things like this.

514
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:33,103
[chuckles] No!
Wait, I don't understand.

515
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,438
- What are you doing here?
- Flying the plane, I think.

516
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:37,398
So, you're a pilot?

517
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:39,700
I think so. They gave me the hat.

518
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,152
[chuckles] Oh, my God.

519
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:43,495
Thank you.

520
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:49,248
This is how you ask someone
for their number?

521
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:51,499
Not usually,
but you are very special.

522
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:52,671
Uh-huh.

523
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:54,214
Can I take you to dinner?

524
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:55,837
-[alarm beeping]
- Oh, my God.

525
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:57,008
What's going on here'?

526
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,836
I think what I'm doing
is asking you to dinner.

527
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:01,092
- But what is the beeping?
- It's an alarm.

528
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,048
Yeah, but what does that
actually mean?

529
00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:05,476
Usually, an alarm means
there's something wrong.

530
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,895
- Go fix it!
- I can't, I'm in the middle of something.

531
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:11,144
Let's just cut this short.
Do something. Just do something.

532
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,021
I can't, until we figure
this dinner thing out.

533
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,821
Okay, fine! Yeah, what the hell.
Just get the hell back in there!

534
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,360
[chuckles]

535
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,738
Okay, here's the alarm.

536
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,034
-[switch clicks]
-[alarm stops]

537
00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:25,154
I will call you.

538
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,201
[groans] Oh, my 60¢

539
00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:34,964
This book! I mean, the things
Christian does to her!

540
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:37,633
My God! It's absurd.

541
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:41,679
I could have put him in jail
for any one of those things.

542
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:43,756
But she sure was having fun.

543
00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:44,965
Yes, she was.

544
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:47,760
It's not like we don't have fun.

545
00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:49,937
No, but it's a different kind of fun.

546
00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,935
- Very different.
- Like this.

547
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:54,399
- This is fun.
- For sure.

548
00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,691
I just can't stop thinking about
when he snuck her off

549
00:23:57,770 --> 00:24:01,024
and he gave it to her right there
in the boathouse, you know?

550
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,653
- Oh, the boathouse.
- Yeah.

551
00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,827
Do you think anyone
our age still goes...

552
00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:06,654
Hi, beautiful friends!

553
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:08,739
Yeah, I think some people do.

554
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:11,959
Uh, let me guess.
You saw Arthur again.

555
00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:14,791
I did, I did. We had coffee.

556
00:24:14,870 --> 00:24:16,213
And you slept with him.

557
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,790
Oh, God, no!

558
00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:21,594
Although I have to admit,
he's still very charming and fun.

559
00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,296
So you find him charming and fun,

560
00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:25,222
but you didn't sleep with him.

561
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,549
Exactly.

562
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:28,726
I don't sleep with people I like.
You know that.

563
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:31,475
- I gave that up in the '90s.
- You make no sense.

564
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,349
I make perfect sense.

565
00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:35,899
[whispers]
Now, now, now, now.

566
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,728
Tell me what is going on.
Tell me everything.

567
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,734
You are too happy. I don't like this.

568
00:24:41,105 --> 00:24:42,652
[sighs] Okay.

569
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:44,449
- Best book ever!
- Yes!

570
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:45,993
What is going on?

571
00:24:46,068 --> 00:24:47,741
Oh, yeah. No, wait.

572
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,242
Imagine this, okay?

573
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:52,371
Um, so, me sitting on a plane,

574
00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:54,543
uh, you know,
reading our little book...

575
00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:58,623
and, well, this, urn,
devilishly handsome man...

576
00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:00,800
Oh my God, is this going
where I hope it is?

577
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:03,878
Yes, it is. You know what he did?
He asked me out to dinner.

578
00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:06,255
Well, that's not exactly...

579
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,261
- Oh, shh!
- You met a man on an airplane?

580
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,593
Yeah, and guess what? A pilot!

581
00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:11,928
[laughter]

582
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,513
Love a man in uniform.

583
00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:15,438
Your husband just died!

584
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:18,859
Harry. Yeah.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, he was...

585
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:19,981
He was such a good man.

586
00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:22,438
That was the best thing
that ever happened to you.

587
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:25,149
Harry dying was the best thing that
ever happened to her?

588
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:28,236
Yeah, 'cause now she can have sex
with somebody who's not an accountant.

589
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,070
Wait a minute. Are you crazy?

590
00:25:30,154 --> 00:25:31,531
Sex? Forget about it.

591
00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:33,581
I don't even remember
how to have sex. No way!

592
00:25:33,657 --> 00:25:35,250
Don't worry, it'll all come back.

593
00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:37,077
It's just like riding a bicycle.

594
00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,000
Except instead of riding a bicycle,

595
00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:40,376
you have sex with a man.

596
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:43,881
Note to self: Watch Carol
ride a bicycle someday.

597
00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:45,836
If you need a refresher,

598
00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:48,718
I know somebody who sure
does know how to have sex.

599
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,674
I don't know what that is,
but I'll tell you one thing:

600
00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:51,930
it is definitely not sex, okay?

601
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:53,556
No, you're right, that's not sex.

602
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:55,729
That's crazy hot sex.

603
00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:58,732
Can we please stop saying "sex"?

604
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,650
What do you prefer, “make love"?

605
00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:03,149
-"I don't make love. I f--"
-[coughs]

606
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,320
“Hard."

607
00:26:04,772 --> 00:26:06,024
That's what he said.

608
00:26:06,106 --> 00:26:07,608
- Oh, my.
- Ooh.

609
00:26:08,025 --> 00:26:09,777
You've completely lost it.

610
00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:11,658
- No, I think she's found it.
- Yeah.

611
00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:14,456
She's found it.
Handcuffed in the red room, right?

612
00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:15,999
[imitates whip cracking]

613
00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,873
- The whip.
-[Carol] The red room.

614
00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:20,204
Bruce must be having
such fun with all this.

615
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:23,587
Oh, yes, such fun, actually. Yeah.

616
00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,258
What is that?

617
00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:26,210
[Carol groans]

618
00:26:26,293 --> 00:26:28,295
This book made me realize that

619
00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:31,632
it's been quite a while
since we-- you know.

620
00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:33,809
As in... as in weeks?

621
00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:36,057
Mmm, like, maybe six.

622
00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:37,729
- Six weeks?
- Months.

623
00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:40,024
Oh, God, I thought you guys
were like rabbits.

624
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:43,069
We are, if rabbits
took a ton of Benadryl

625
00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:44,611
and made a chastity pact.

626
00:26:44,686 --> 00:26:46,654
Oh, my God, we have
to put a stop to this.

627
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:47,731
Oh, come on.

628
00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:50,034
I mean, if women our age
were meant to have sex,

629
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:52,362
God wouldn't do
what he does to our bodies.

630
00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,412
Whoa! Well, speak for yourself.

631
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,291
That was not God.
That was Dr. Nazarian.

632
00:26:57,366 --> 00:27:00,620
[laughs] He did a good job.

633
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:03,214
- Hey, everyone.
-[all gasp]

634
00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:05,916
-[all] Hey!
- What's the topic this month?

635
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:08,718
- W <i>hat.</i> ..
<i>- Moby Dick.</i>

636
00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:10,796
Oh, yeah, sounds like fun.

637
00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:13,299
- Carol?
- What?

638
00:27:13,382 --> 00:27:15,976
You are not gonna believe
what I pulled out of the garage.

639
00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,519
My old motorcycle.

640
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:20,397
That poor thing
hasn't been ridden in ages!

641
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,141
Poor thing.

642
00:27:22,224 --> 00:27:24,101
Oh, there's a little sag in the cable.

643
00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:26,232
She's still got a gorgeous chassis.

644
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:29,110
You know, I was thinking
maybe I could lube her up

645
00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:31,157
and get that old gal riding again.

646
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:33,235
- Yeah, yeah, good idea.
- That's good.

647
00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:34,695
Give her undercarriage a good buff

648
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:36,655
and slap a little wax on her saddle.

649
00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,289
[giggling]

650
00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,367
[laughs] Ooh,
I hope he uses protection.

651
00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:42,669
- Shut <i>up.
- Moby Dick?</i>

652
00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:44,712
- What was that?
- I don't know.

653
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,540
I don't know why my mind
keeps going there.

654
00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:47,590
It's like, duh.

655
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,215
Ladies, this book is a wakeup call.

656
00:27:50,294 --> 00:27:53,013
I don't care what society says
about women our age.

657
00:27:53,088 --> 00:27:55,432
Sex must not be taken off the table.

658
00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:59,353
Hold on. I mean, we are four
smart successful women.

659
00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:00,850
I don't need a man.

660
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,227
I know. You've proved that
for 18 years.

661
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:04,479
Touché.

662
00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:07,562
No, my point is,
the choice should be ours.

663
00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:10,648
[Diane] Speaking of which,
we are doubling down.

664
00:28:10,731 --> 00:28:13,530
How about this for a choice? [laughs]

665
00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:14,531
Oh!

666
00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:17,033
- Thank God it's a trilogy.
- My God!

667
00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:19,535
- Especially for you, Sharon.
- Thank you so much.

668
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,583
Thank you. Thank you. Ladies'?

669
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:22,625
- What?
- Ladies?

670
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,123
<i>- Y es'?
{Q am“ Y es'?</i>

671
00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:28,049
We shall not go gentle
into that good night.

672
00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:34,051
So, let's lube up those bikes
and get riding again!

673
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:37,099
[all howl]

674
00:28:37,174 --> 00:28:41,350
“L groan and tilt my pelvis
involuntarily against him,

675
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:43,021
finding a delicious..."

676
00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:45,565
[laughs hysterically]

677
00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:48,064
“...a delicious friction..."

678
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:50,237
Oh, this is really something.

679
00:28:50,312 --> 00:28:55,034
“...against the seam of his fly
and his growing erection."

680
00:28:55,108 --> 00:28:56,906
-[cell phone ringing]
{Whispers} Oh...

681
00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:59,989
Oh, dear. Oh, my God, okay, okay.

682
00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:03,750
- Hello?
-[Adrianne] Are you <i>okay?</i>

683
00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:05,293
<i>You were supposed
to call me after dinner.</i>

684
00:29:05,369 --> 00:29:08,248
Yeah, I'm fine, honey. I just finished.

685
00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:09,832
[Adrianne] <i>Did you eat alone?</i>

686
00:29:10,791 --> 00:29:12,589
Yes, alone.

687
00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:14,261
[Adrianne sighs] God, it's all so sad.

688
00:29:14,336 --> 00:29:16,885
Yeah. Okay, but anyway...

689
00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:20,054
thanks for checking in,
and I really should get to bed.

690
00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:21,931
<i>[Adrianne] Remember,
we can put you in the basement</i>

691
00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:23,227
<i>whenever you're ready.</i>

692
00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:24,805
Okay-

693
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:27,016
[sighs]

694
00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,063
[sighs] Whoa.

695
00:29:29,142 --> 00:29:30,564
[scoffs] I mean...

696
00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:32,821
[whispers] Wow, wow.

697
00:29:33,814 --> 00:29:35,657
[cell phone ringing]

698
00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:37,825
[in annoyed tone] Hello!

699
00:29:37,901 --> 00:29:39,494
<i>[Mitchell] Is that really
how you answer the phone?</i>

700
00:29:39,569 --> 00:29:42,368
- All right, who is this?
- I'm gonna hang up now.

701
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:45,075
Then I'll call you back
and we're gonna try this again.

702
00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:48,788
[groans] Oh, my 60¢

703
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:50,747
[cell phone ringing]

704
00:29:50,831 --> 00:29:51,832
It's over.

705
00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:54,464
I can't do anything right,
obviously. Okay.

706
00:29:57,504 --> 00:29:58,801
Hello there!

707
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,848
Hey, hello there. Much better.

708
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:03,931
Have you had dinner?

709
00:30:04,011 --> 00:30:06,059
<i>[Diane] Oh, I have. Yeah.</i>

710
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,102
How about tomorrow night?

711
00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:09,850
Dinner tomorrow night?

712
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,901
<i>Sounds great.
Thought you'd never ask.</i>

713
00:30:12,769 --> 00:30:14,146
<i>What time should I pick you up?</i>

714
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:16,614
But I... I really can't, so...

715
00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:19,243
- Why can't you?
- No, <i>I</i> mean--

716
00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:21,867
I mean, of course I can,
but where are you anyway?

717
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:23,322
<i>I'm in Sedona.</i>

718
00:30:23,405 --> 00:30:25,954
But I'm in... Oh!
I'm in Santa Monica, so...

719
00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:28,286
I'm aware. I'll pick you up at 6:30.

720
00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:30,837
Well, wait. But you can't
just kind of like...

721
00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:33,461
Actually, I can.
I'll see you tomorrow night.

722
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:38,511
[chuckles] Oh, God.

723
00:30:38,587 --> 00:30:40,089
[sighs] Oh, dear.

724
00:30:42,549 --> 00:30:43,516
Oh.

725
00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:45,469
Someone make a bad wish?

726
00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:48,772
Oh, you should know
I rescue wishes all over town.

727
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,816
Wanna grab a cup of coffee?

728
00:30:51,892 --> 00:30:53,610
Oh, I-- I can't today.

729
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,563
Well, I'd like to grab a drink sometime.

730
00:30:58,065 --> 00:31:00,739
We have an excellent bar
on the mezzanine level.

731
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:05,405
Oh, you meant with me?

732
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:06,957
- You're funny.
- Oh.

733
00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:09,209
Okay, it's a date, then.

734
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:11,082
[whistles]

735
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,498
I love that you have a date!

736
00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:16,458
Yeah, and it's a first date.

737
00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:19,511
So it's important
that you put on something sexy.

738
00:31:19,586 --> 00:31:22,135
-[sighs] Oh...
-[Diane] I don't own anything sexy.

739
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:24,592
Don't listen to her.
Just be comfortable.

740
00:31:24,674 --> 00:31:25,926
Be yourself.

741
00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,511
Okay. Well, what about...

742
00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:28,720
Does this...

743
00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:32,524
- That's too comfortable.
-[Carol] Right, yeah, no. No.

744
00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:34,067
Okay, fine.

745
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:36,190
I can take that to Goodwill for you.

746
00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:37,612
Don't do that to them.

747
00:31:37,687 --> 00:31:38,859
Those people have enough trouble.

748
00:31:39,147 --> 00:31:40,990
- She always does this.
-[whispers] I know.

749
00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,114
She wears these voluminous things

750
00:31:43,193 --> 00:31:45,537
to cover that beautiful figure.
All the time!

751
00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:47,990
'Oh! Oh, my God!
-[Carol] Yes!

752
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,496
- Perfect! You look great!
- You look perfect.

753
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:52,452
- Let me see.
- I don't want...

754
00:31:52,536 --> 00:31:55,540
Oh, my God, you look so good.
Unbutton one little button here.

755
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,590
- Show off the girls.
-[shrieks] Get off!

756
00:31:57,666 --> 00:31:59,509
Let them out!
Oh, no, no, no.

757
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:02,212
- This is so ridiculous.
- So exciting.

758
00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:04,172
Oh, I can't believe how nervous I am.

759
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,509
I am, too.
Do you remember your last date?

760
00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:07,934
We're talking Nixon era.

761
00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:10,057
- Wait, is that helping?
- No.

762
00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:11,138
[doorbell rings]

763
00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:12,973
[Diane] Oh, God.
I need a safe word.

764
00:32:13,056 --> 00:32:14,103
[Whimpers]

765
00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:16,856
You're gonna be great!
You're gonna be great.

766
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:20,318
- This is gonna be amazing!
- Let's get to the window.

767
00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:25,281
Just act natural. Showtime!

768
00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:29,581
- Well, hey, you.
- Oh, good, you're home.

769
00:32:29,656 --> 00:32:32,751
- He's wearing jeans.
- I love a man in jeans.

770
00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:35,375
Let me see. Okay...

771
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:38,458
- He's got a cute tush.
-[Vivian] Oh, God!

772
00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:39,541
[Carol] Oh, God.

773
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:40,967
[laughter]

774
00:32:41,042 --> 00:32:42,134
Um...

775
00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:44,633
- Oh. You brought me flowers?
- Here you go.

776
00:32:46,214 --> 00:32:47,591
Thank you so much.

777
00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:49,017
[Vivian] He brought flowers!

778
00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:51,766
[Carol] I love a man
who brings flowers.

779
00:32:51,845 --> 00:32:53,563
If you don't like them,
blame your neighbors.

780
00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:56,437
- I picked them from their garden.
- You're kidding.

781
00:32:56,516 --> 00:32:59,565
[Sharon] The last time she went
on a date, she got pregnant.

782
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,863
[Vivian] I don't think
that's gonna happen this time.

783
00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:10,205
- He gave up on you.
- I know. That's okay.

784
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,908
- So, where were we?
- Oh, yeah, a bathroom.

785
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,335
A public bathroom?
Like, a public bathroom?

786
00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:17,003
Yeah, like in a park.

787
00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,080
- In a park?
- Well, yes, I was 11.

788
00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,882
The setting wasn't the first thing
on my mind.

789
00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:21,879
No.

790
00:33:22,751 --> 00:33:25,425
- What about you?
- Me? Oh, I don't remember.

791
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:27,552
Everybody remembers their first kiss.

792
00:33:27,631 --> 00:33:29,258
How about I tell you
about my best kiss?

793
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:30,888
Maybe that hasn't happened yet.

794
00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:33,436
Oh, I see. Well. Hmm.

795
00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:36,022
My first kiss.

796
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:39,146
That'd be the sixth grade
and Terry Sanders.

797
00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:42,529
Terry Sanders.
Is that a boy or a girl?

798
00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,527
[chuckles] A boy, obviously.

799
00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:45,607
I don't know.

800
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,863
Anyway, it was one
of those Christmas mixers.

801
00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:50,992
Some friends and I,
we snuck backstage.

802
00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:52,664
It was dark, and...

803
00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:56,369
I remember hearing the first
bluesy notes of “At Last."

804
00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:58,294
Remember? By Etta James?

805
00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:02,216
And it came billowing down
through the curtains,

806
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:06,636
and that is when Terry Sanders
came up to me, and he said...

807
00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:10,682
It was so sweet! He said,
“I think I love you, Dee-Dee."

808
00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:15,388
Yeah, and then he grabbed
my face with both of his hands,

809
00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,188
and he was like, I don't know...

810
00:34:17,264 --> 00:34:20,814
Maybe he had seen it
in some movie or something.

811
00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:23,645
But he held my face,
and, for a moment,

812
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:27,073
my mind went completely blank
in the greatest possible way.

813
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:29,700
Oh, God. I mean, we didn't...

814
00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:32,245
We didn't know
what we were doing, we just...

815
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,573
- Terry knew.
- Maybe, yeah.

816
00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:36,829
We stood there like that, you know...

817
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,787
We just stood there. Frozen.

818
00:34:41,121 --> 00:34:43,340
And you know, I didn't really care.

819
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:45,382
Because...

820
00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:51,803
the feeling of his hands on my face...

821
00:34:52,841 --> 00:34:54,718
You know what I wish? I wish...

822
00:34:55,176 --> 00:34:57,224
everyone had a first kiss like that.

823
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:00,140
Yeah.

824
00:35:00,557 --> 00:35:02,355
I'm so sorry.

825
00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:03,981
You know, I don't...

826
00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:07,360
I don't know why I told you
the whole story!

827
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:10,113
That was a beautiful--
That was a beautiful story.

828
00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:11,986
Thank you.

829
00:35:12,319 --> 00:35:14,117
I wish I was kissed by Terry Sanders.

830
00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:15,492
[Diane laughs]

831
00:35:15,572 --> 00:35:18,041
Where is he? Whatever happened
to Terry Sanders?

832
00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,710
- I need to track him down.
-[Diane] Oh, Terry Sanders...

833
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,128
No, what actually happened to him

834
00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:23,796
was that he died in a plane crash.

835
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:26,465
He died, yeah.

836
00:35:27,709 --> 00:35:29,427
He just went like that.

837
00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:31,175
- Plane crash?
-[Diane] Yeah.

838
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:32,464
Mm-hmm.

839
00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:34,056
No.

840
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,140
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

841
00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:39,812
He didn't die in a plane crash.

842
00:35:39,888 --> 00:35:41,606
You've been waiting all this time

843
00:35:41,681 --> 00:35:43,934
just to hit me with a plane crash joke.

844
00:35:44,017 --> 00:35:45,314
I couldn't help it.

845
00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:49,114
Diane can get a man
to fly in from another state,

846
00:35:49,189 --> 00:35:52,489
and I can't get my husband
to come in from the garage!

847
00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:54,819
Well, you have to give him
a good enough reason.

848
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:58,957
Well, since when is sex not
a good enough reason for a man?

849
00:35:59,032 --> 00:36:01,911
Honey, you're not dealing with a man,
you're dealing with an older man.

850
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,791
Different animal.

851
00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:05,918
He's not thinking about sex.
He's conditioned to think

852
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:09,922
that "inside" means changing
a light bulb or fixing the toilet.

853
00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:13,972
Both of which sound infinitely
more satisfying to me.

854
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:16,516
So basically, I'm screwed.

855
00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:18,719
Or not screwed, as it were.

856
00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:20,725
He needs a reminder.
Take him back to a time

857
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,431
when sex was on his mind.

858
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,398
- Miss O'Donnell?
- Yeah.

859
00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:26,021
This was dropped
at the desk for you.

860
00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:27,770
- Thank you, Runako.
- You're welcome.

861
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:29,104
It's Pavlovian.

862
00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:30,689
Present the right stimulus,

863
00:36:30,772 --> 00:36:32,524
you will not believe
how quickly he'll come.

864
00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:36,411
Must you always be so crass?

865
00:36:36,486 --> 00:36:38,284
Look whose mind is in the gutter!

866
00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:40,707
[Sharon] I know!
It's because of this book.

867
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:42,329
The whipping and the flogging.

868
00:36:42,409 --> 00:36:45,037
I'm learning things no one our age
should even know about!

869
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,588
I mean, sex is...

870
00:36:46,663 --> 00:36:47,710
Ugh!

871
00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:50,133
Not that a little kissing or petting
would kill me, but--

872
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,835
Is that a poncho?

873
00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:54,671
Urn... all right, sharing.

874
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:57,883
“Next time we should wear protection“?

875
00:36:58,341 --> 00:36:59,467
"Love, Arthur."

876
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:02,888
Uh, you weren't gonna
tell us about this.

877
00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:04,689
I told you we went out for coffee.

878
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:09,106
Unbelievable! That is not
how I go out for coffee.

879
00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:11,863
The entire world is coupling up.

880
00:37:11,938 --> 00:37:15,442
You just need to put yourself
out there the same way Tom did.

881
00:37:15,525 --> 00:37:17,744
You see her going online?
[chuckles]

882
00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:19,992
I mean, let's not lose
all our sense of reality.

883
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:21,448
Well, why not?

884
00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:23,625
There are plenty of fish in the sea

885
00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:25,373
-who would adore her.
-[Vivian] I agree.

886
00:37:25,452 --> 00:37:27,796
But to catch one she'd actually have
to take out a pole

887
00:37:27,871 --> 00:37:29,544
and make her way down to the water.

888
00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:31,499
You really don't think I can do it.

889
00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,507
Well, I think you can.
I just don't think you will.

890
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:38,591
Then let's drink to me
and my pole going online.

891
00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:42,553
- Well, yay! Good for you.
- Yay!

892
00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,308
But you might want to lose the pole.

893
00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:45,434
Yeah. Good call.

894
00:37:52,187 --> 00:37:53,689
[sighs]

895
00:37:55,231 --> 00:37:56,699
Life motto?

896
00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:59,244
I'll give you a life motto.

897
00:37:59,319 --> 00:38:05,577
“No one with a life has a motto."

898
00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:07,035
[chuckles]

899
00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:10,921
"Find a mate?"

900
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:14,171
What am I, Lin-Lin the Panda
at the San Diego Zoo?

901
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:16,173
-[camera clicking]
- No! No, no, no.

902
00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:17,799
[yells]

903
00:38:17,879 --> 00:38:19,597
Stop it!

904
00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:20,798
Shit!

905
00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:24,553
[Carol clears throat]

906
00:38:26,930 --> 00:38:29,558
My old uniform. What do you think?

907
00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:31,769
I feel like I'm in a time machine.

908
00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:34,070
I know. And it still fits!

909
00:38:34,896 --> 00:38:36,398
- Ta-da!
-[fabric rips]

910
00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:39,613
There's some duct tape on the shelf.

911
00:38:39,692 --> 00:38:42,161
You're sweet, but that
just makes it easier to...

912
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,328
Oh, you need--
you need duct tape. Okay...

913
00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:49,540
And, uh, give me the zip ties.

914
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,752
Zip ties.

915
00:38:54,874 --> 00:38:57,297
Are you thinking about tying me up?

916
00:38:57,377 --> 00:38:58,549
What?

917
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:02,678
Nothing. It's just something
I was reading about.

918
00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:06,727
Is there anything else
I can do for you?

919
00:39:06,803 --> 00:39:08,726
No, I think I'm good, thanks.

920
00:39:10,139 --> 00:39:11,516
I just needed more light

921
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:13,522
before I can get inside her crankshaft.

922
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:15,107
Check her out.

923
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,564
Check out... your motorcycle?

924
00:39:17,647 --> 00:39:18,899
Yeah.

925
00:39:20,233 --> 00:39:23,112
- It sure brings back memories.
- Yeah.

926
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:25,697
And she's a lot prettier
than I remember.

927
00:39:27,115 --> 00:39:29,868
I wouldn't complain
if you want to take me for a ride.

928
00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:32,249
[tire pops, air hissing out]

929
00:39:32,328 --> 00:39:33,500
Rain check?

930
00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:39,677
I'm sorry. I talked your ear off.

931
00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:42,380
<i>- I'll</i> recover.
- You will? I wonder.

932
00:39:42,463 --> 00:39:44,386
Just let me know
when you're back in Arizona.

933
00:39:45,091 --> 00:39:49,471
Oh! Well, actually, I'm going
to be there this weekend.

934
00:39:49,929 --> 00:39:51,272
How inconvenient.

935
00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:53,941
How inconvenient, yeah.
Anyway...

936
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:57,487
- It was really lovely.
- Oh, it was really lovely. So...

937
00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:59,030
- Good night.
- Have a good night.

938
00:39:59,105 --> 00:40:00,982
Okay, thank you. Thank you.

939
00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:02,693
[groans quietly] Oh, 60¢

940
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:06,158
We need to get control
of this situation.

941
00:40:06,863 --> 00:40:09,491
I don't want a repeat
of what was going on

942
00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:11,167
in the evidentiary hearing.

943
00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,619
[message alert chime]

944
00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:14,670
Let's turn our phones off, please.

945
00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:16,497
Not mine.

946
00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:17,798
[message alert chime]

947
00:40:17,874 --> 00:40:19,717
Am I the only one hearing this?

948
00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:22,466
I believe it's from... over there.

949
00:40:23,296 --> 00:40:24,593
[message alert chime]

950
00:40:35,016 --> 00:40:37,314
Holy shit.

951
00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:41,026
[pop music playing]

952
00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:03,127
Here, Ginsburg, you want to go out?

953
00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:09,680
Go.

954
00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:11,602
Go ahead.

955
00:41:12,428 --> 00:41:13,850
Okay, fine.

956
00:41:13,930 --> 00:41:16,103
- Be lethargic.
-[mewls]

957
00:41:31,864 --> 00:41:34,663
Damn you, E.L. James.

958
00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:40,131
His name is George
and he's probably a serial killer.

959
00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:42,375
No man is perfect.

960
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,426
Well, he's also certainly not normal.

961
00:41:44,502 --> 00:41:48,257
I mean, normal people
don't go trolling for dates online.

962
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:49,431
You do.

963
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:50,975
Yeah, I rest my case.

964
00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:53,686
Maybe he's your Christian Grey.

965
00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:56,981
- He's a bald tax attorney.
- Okay, maybe not.

966
00:41:57,056 --> 00:41:58,433
But at least you have a date.

967
00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:01,486
I'm never gonna have sex again
for the rest of my life.

968
00:42:01,561 --> 00:42:03,359
[Sharon] He might not even have arms!

969
00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:04,485
- Hey.
- W hat?

970
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:06,066
These are essential.

971
00:42:06,149 --> 00:42:09,119
They hold you in,
smooth everything down. Life changing.

972
00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:11,658
I'm gonna get them for you.
Come here.

973
00:42:13,031 --> 00:42:16,786
Well, let's just say things did not go
exactly as planned.

974
00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:18,999
You've been married too long.

975
00:42:19,078 --> 00:42:21,376
In the army, when they want
to get a soldier's attention,

976
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:22,878
they just blow on the trumpet.

977
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:25,380
Well, that is precisely
what I was attempting.

978
00:42:25,460 --> 00:42:28,339
- And the soldier?
- Absent without leave.

979
00:42:28,838 --> 00:42:32,058
In fact, the trumpet never even
came out of the barracks.

980
00:42:32,133 --> 00:42:35,103
The commanding officer
put a kibosh on the mission, huh?

981
00:42:35,178 --> 00:42:37,180
Yes. Mission aborted.

982
00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:40,187
[Sharon] Oh, Jesus Christ,
enough with the metaphors already.

983
00:42:40,266 --> 00:42:42,985
[groans] My organs just shifted.

984
00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:45,314
You're gonna be fine.
Do scuba breathing.

985
00:42:46,105 --> 00:42:48,904
So, okay, give him one of these...

986
00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:52,654
and the lieutenant
will stand at attention.

987
00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:54,364
You think that's the problem?

988
00:42:54,447 --> 00:42:57,701
I've been doing field research
on this demographic a long time.

989
00:42:57,909 --> 00:42:59,957
He's probably just embarrassed.

990
00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:02,209
This is gonna be
a game changer, trust me.

991
00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:03,581
[Sharon groans]

992
00:43:03,873 --> 00:43:05,125
You need some help?

993
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,881
[Sharon] I need the Jaws of Life.

994
00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:10,592
Flaughsl

995
00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:13,220
Urn, I don't think
you have that on quite right,

996
00:43:13,299 --> 00:43:14,471
but it's gonna look amazing.

997
00:43:14,550 --> 00:43:16,973
I look like a Lane Bryant mannequin.

998
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:20,849
I'm sorry, I'm just trying
to picture your serial killer

999
00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:22,650
trying to peel you out of that thing.

1000
00:43:22,725 --> 00:43:24,978
- He's gonna have to use his teeth.
- If he has teeth.

1001
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:27,488
When you guys are finished joking,

1002
00:43:27,563 --> 00:43:28,906
can you get me some scissors?

1003
00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:30,574
I can't feel my feet.

1004
00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:39,791
[Chris] Is that the one
I showed you?

1005
00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:41,335
No. Found it on Zillow.

1006
00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:43,037
Check it out.

1007
00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:45,044
- This has a media room.
- Oh, sick.

1008
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:46,500
You don't need a media room,

1009
00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:49,005
you need your son to live
in a good school district.

1010
00:43:49,085 --> 00:43:51,133
Mom. You shouldn't be adding salt.

1011
00:43:51,212 --> 00:43:53,806
It's spaghetti. I always
add salt to my spaghetti.

1012
00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:56,600
Morn, did you not get the article
I sent you on blood pressure?

1013
00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,683
[cell phone ringing]

1014
00:44:01,055 --> 00:44:04,059
Oh, shoot. Could» Could you
excuse me for just a sec?

1015
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:10,607
Don't say "sick". You're 40 years old.

1016
00:44:11,232 --> 00:44:12,859
[Diane] Hi, how are you?

1017
00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:16,242
Come visit you? That's crazy!

1018
00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:22,957
What? Well, I don't know
how I can do that, you know?

1019
00:44:23,828 --> 00:44:25,125
Yeah?

1020
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:28,625
Oh. Well, okay.

1021
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:30,255
I'm just gonna have
to come up with a reason.

1022
00:44:30,334 --> 00:44:33,087
-[Jill] Morn?
- Uh-oh. I got to go.

1023
00:44:33,171 --> 00:44:35,515
Okay, yes, and I will. Okay, bye.

1024
00:44:36,048 --> 00:44:38,892
-[Adrianne] ls everything okay?
-[sighs] No. No.

1025
00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:42,597
That was my neighbor. And, urn...

1026
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,899
There was a robber,
or a burglar, I don't know.

1027
00:44:44,974 --> 00:44:47,648
Anyway, they think
that the house was burgled!

1028
00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:49,775
- Burgled?
- It's shocking!

1029
00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:53,821
But you know something? I think
I need to get back there ASAP to help.

1030
00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:55,618
What do you mean, help?

1031
00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:58,071
What I mean is the authorities--
they may want to ask some questions.

1032
00:44:58,154 --> 00:45:00,782
So I do need to get back there now.

1033
00:45:01,073 --> 00:45:02,074
The authorities?

1034
00:45:02,158 --> 00:45:04,411
I'm not a suspect. I'm not suspicious.

1035
00:45:04,493 --> 00:45:06,666
It's not that kind of thing.
But I'm so worried.

1036
00:45:06,746 --> 00:45:09,374
This world is just not
a safe place for you anymore.

1037
00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:11,175
I'm sorry, and...

1038
00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:14,094
I'm really gonna try
to keep that in my mind, okay?

1039
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:17,011
But anyway, I need to book
a flight back tomorrow.

1040
00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:19,763
Do I just not turn you on anymore?

1041
00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:23,187
I mean, I get it after 35 years
and three kids, but am I...

1042
00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:26,106
Is it just not exciting anymore?

1043
00:45:26,182 --> 00:45:27,434
I love you, Carol.

1044
00:45:27,516 --> 00:45:29,814
I know you love me,
and I love you.

1045
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:31,688
Then what is the problem?

1046
00:45:31,771 --> 00:45:34,820
The problem is we haven't
even tried to make love

1047
00:45:34,899 --> 00:45:36,401
since your retirement party.

1048
00:45:36,484 --> 00:45:38,327
And we both know
how that turned out.

1049
00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:40,746
You yourself said
there was something wrong

1050
00:45:40,821 --> 00:45:42,243
with the lamb that night.

1051
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:45,084
We both know there was
nothing wrong with the lamb.

1052
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:46,456
I'm the one who made it.

1053
00:45:46,535 --> 00:45:48,629
I'm not having this conversation.

1054
00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:52,049
[sighs] Bruce, Vivian said
that it is so normal for men--

1055
00:45:52,124 --> 00:45:53,671
Wait. Vivian?

1056
00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:55,970
Dr. Schaefer said there are
safe and effective ways--

1057
00:45:56,045 --> 00:45:57,513
You talked to Dr. Schaefer?

1058
00:45:57,588 --> 00:46:00,057
I did not think
you'd want to talk to him.

1059
00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:03,056
- I don't want to talk to him!
- See? I knew that! I knew that!

1060
00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:05,479
He asked me,
“Does he still pleasure himself?"

1061
00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:07,807
- Oh, my God!
- And I said, "I have no idea!"

1062
00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:10,818
Carol! This is enough!

1063
00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:13,191
[shouts] Bruce! I want to have sex!

1064
00:46:13,271 --> 00:46:14,568
[dog whines]

1065
00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,741
Hello.

1066
00:46:19,735 --> 00:46:20,907
[huffs]

1067
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,239
Excuse me.

1068
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,491
[both Sigh]

1069
00:46:24,573 --> 00:46:27,668
Okay, come on, baby.
Get your leg up there.

1070
00:46:27,743 --> 00:46:28,869
[grunts]

1071
00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:30,584
Goddang it.

1072
00:46:30,663 --> 00:46:31,664
[engine fails]

1073
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:32,794
Come on.

1074
00:46:33,165 --> 00:46:35,714
What, you can't
get it turned on, huh?

1075
00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:54,362
Hi. Do you have a reservation?

1076
00:46:54,437 --> 00:46:56,360
No, actually I'm meeting someone.

1077
00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:58,157
His name is George.

1078
00:46:58,232 --> 00:46:59,825
He's a tax accountant.

1079
00:47:01,152 --> 00:47:03,075
Right. Follow me.

1080
00:47:05,906 --> 00:47:07,658
Enjoy your meal.

1081
00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:09,415
Hey, you have arms!

1082
00:47:09,952 --> 00:47:11,875
It would've been fine
if you didn't, but it's...

1083
00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:13,331
better that you do. Hey.

1084
00:47:13,414 --> 00:47:16,964
So nice to... Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'll take care of it.

1085
00:47:17,043 --> 00:47:19,421
This is why I don't leave the house.

1086
00:47:22,048 --> 00:47:25,723
- Shall we start again?
- I'm afraid to reenter.

1087
00:47:25,801 --> 00:47:27,178
Nah.

1088
00:47:27,261 --> 00:47:29,855
We can take it right from here.

1089
00:47:30,306 --> 00:47:31,432
[Sharon] Okay.

1090
00:47:32,933 --> 00:47:34,480
So, what about you?

1091
00:47:35,311 --> 00:47:37,734
- You work?
- Um, yes.

1092
00:47:37,813 --> 00:47:40,532
Actually, I'm currently working
on my drinking. [chuckles]

1093
00:47:40,608 --> 00:47:42,076
[both laugh]

1094
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:44,195
You have a nice laugh.

1095
00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:47,494
Thank you.

1096
00:47:48,032 --> 00:47:50,000
Actually, I'm a federal judge.

1097
00:47:50,451 --> 00:47:51,748
Wow.

1098
00:47:52,787 --> 00:47:54,505
- Really?
- Yeah.

1099
00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:59,294
And I do have the power
to put you in handcuffs.

1100
00:47:59,377 --> 00:48:01,596
I don't know
why I said that. Really.

1101
00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,468
I'm sorry. I--

1102
00:48:04,006 --> 00:48:06,850
I was guessing what you might be
thinking and...

1103
00:48:06,926 --> 00:48:09,429
I mean, not you, but men.

1104
00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:12,857
Not like all men
think the same, but...

1105
00:48:13,682 --> 00:48:16,151
I'm sorry I'm not better at this,
but this is...

1106
00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:17,353
Whoa.

1107
00:48:18,229 --> 00:48:19,572
Can I make a confession?

1108
00:48:20,022 --> 00:48:22,946
Uh, I changed
my shirt today six times

1109
00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:24,698
and I only have five shirts.

1110
00:48:25,653 --> 00:48:28,327
And the irony is
that they're all exactly alike.

1111
00:48:28,656 --> 00:48:30,658
Blue, button-down, Brooks Brothers.

1112
00:48:30,741 --> 00:48:32,869
Well, who doesn't love Brooks Brothers?

1113
00:48:32,952 --> 00:48:34,499
Not this guy.

1114
00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:37,123
When did dating get so complicated?

1115
00:48:37,206 --> 00:48:39,880
I mean, it used to be
you'd go to a dance

1116
00:48:39,959 --> 00:48:43,213
and bada-boom bada-bing,
you'd get married and pregnant.

1117
00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:45,468
Now you have to come up with

1118
00:48:45,548 --> 00:48:47,926
earth-shattering theories on life

1119
00:48:48,008 --> 00:48:51,729
before you even get a "wink.“
What is that, a "wink" online?

1120
00:48:51,804 --> 00:48:55,980
You know, you are so much better
at this than you think you are.

1121
00:48:58,018 --> 00:48:59,440
Thank you.

1122
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,238
You are too, for the record.

1123
00:49:02,064 --> 00:49:05,238
All my past relationships
taught me one thing.

1124
00:49:06,694 --> 00:49:08,367
I can't sleep with men.

1125
00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:11,325
Well, now, there's a revelation
I was not expecting.

1126
00:49:11,407 --> 00:49:14,411
No, but sex is fine.
I just can't sleep.

1127
00:49:15,453 --> 00:49:17,330
Okay, that makes more sense.

1128
00:49:17,413 --> 00:49:20,007
Now I can focus on
what you're gonna say next.

1129
00:49:20,082 --> 00:49:22,881
I can't understand
how men can sleep anywhere.

1130
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,054
On the floor, in a bed, on a couch.

1131
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:27,302
I'm staring at the ceiling
and they're off

1132
00:49:27,381 --> 00:49:29,429
in some blissful dreamscape.

1133
00:49:30,468 --> 00:49:34,564
Well, they say that bad sleep
is a sign of a bad relationship.

1134
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,982
Yeah, well, I can attest to that.

1135
00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:40,227
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

1136
00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:41,608
Wow.

1137
00:49:42,688 --> 00:49:44,986
I never thought
I'd be back here again.

1138
00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:46,446
Me, neither.

1139
00:49:47,443 --> 00:49:48,490
Here we go.

1140
00:49:50,779 --> 00:49:51,780
[moans appreciatively]

1141
00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:56,502
- Is it as good as you remember?
- Maybe better.

1142
00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:02,132
Let me ask you a question.

1143
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:05,131
What's your favorite thing
in the whole world?

1144
00:50:06,378 --> 00:50:08,130
Well, that's a very broad question.

1145
00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:09,340
Um...

1146
00:50:11,175 --> 00:50:12,518
Arm tickles.

1147
00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:15,016
- Come on.
- No, without a doubt.

1148
00:50:15,638 --> 00:50:18,517
No, it's true.
I'm a girl of simple pleasures.

1149
00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:21,443
[laughs] Says the girl
with a staff of 150!

1150
00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:23,237
Ah, but it would be so much better

1151
00:50:23,312 --> 00:50:25,314
if they were all tickling my arms.

1152
00:50:30,402 --> 00:50:33,451
You know what I love to do
that I never do anymore?

1153
00:50:34,073 --> 00:50:38,874
Listen to a full album on vinyl
from beginning to end.

1154
00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:43,458
Vinyl sure has made
a comeback, hasn't it?

1155
00:50:43,832 --> 00:50:46,335
Well, some things
stand the test of time.

1156
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,006
That they do.

1157
00:50:56,762 --> 00:50:59,732
[romantic music playing]

1158
00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:19,543
[music stops]

1159
00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:20,790
[instructor claps]

1160
00:51:20,869 --> 00:51:22,997
Dance is about connection.

1161
00:51:23,247 --> 00:51:25,375
It can't just be routine.

1162
00:51:25,457 --> 00:51:28,256
Moving in unison
is not the same as dancing.

1163
00:51:30,129 --> 00:51:31,176
Right.

1164
00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:34,050
[sighs]

1165
00:51:34,425 --> 00:51:36,052
[Carol] I think
we're done for the night.

1166
00:51:37,177 --> 00:51:38,224
Sorry.

1167
00:51:49,857 --> 00:51:53,612
I was 14. She was 17.
She could drive a car.

1168
00:51:54,153 --> 00:51:57,032
And she was sitting behind the wheel.

1169
00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:58,957
She said, "Come here."

1170
00:52:01,368 --> 00:52:02,915
This is me.

1171
00:52:03,996 --> 00:52:05,748
Thank you for making tonight so easy.

1172
00:52:05,831 --> 00:52:08,835
Oh... It was a great, great pleasure.

1173
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,976
Urn, I have to ask you this.

1174
00:52:17,051 --> 00:52:18,928
First of all, I think you're great.

1175
00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:22,060
And second,
I know that the chances of this

1176
00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:25,439
going past this evening are slim, but...

1177
00:52:26,310 --> 00:52:28,028
would you mind if I...

1178
00:52:28,604 --> 00:52:29,947
kissed you?

1179
00:52:30,022 --> 00:52:31,319
If I had a nickel

1180
00:52:31,398 --> 00:52:33,366
for every time
someone asked me that.

1181
00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:36,286
All right, all right. I'll just rewind
the tape about 30 seconds.

1182
00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:38,114
Shut up and kiss me.

1183
00:52:40,199 --> 00:52:41,451
Oh, hell.

1184
00:52:54,505 --> 00:52:55,802
[clears throat]

1185
00:52:57,091 --> 00:52:59,594
I think this belongs to you.

1186
00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:06,521
Thank you.

1187
00:53:08,727 --> 00:53:10,695
[Sharon] Ginsburger!

1188
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:26,712
Ooh. I'm gonna need
a bigger back seat.

1189
00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:32,502
Paging Dr. Derek.

1190
00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:38,469
-[Adrianne] Is this good?
- Uh-huh.

1191
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:40,392
This is fine, this is totally fine.

1192
00:53:40,467 --> 00:53:41,889
Okay-

1193
00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,853
I love how your generation
still feels the need

1194
00:53:46,932 --> 00:53:48,525
to get fancy for air travel.

1195
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:49,943
It's so cute.

1196
00:53:51,437 --> 00:53:52,689
[Diane] Okay...

1197
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:55,024
- Call me when you get back to L.A.
- Of course.

1198
00:53:55,107 --> 00:53:56,575
- I love you.
- I love you, too.

1199
00:53:56,650 --> 00:53:58,118
- Be safe.
- Bye-bye.

1200
00:53:58,193 --> 00:53:59,911
- Love you.
- Love you!

1201
00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:02,206
[groans]

1202
00:54:09,079 --> 00:54:10,456
[groans]

1203
00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:15,377
Quite an escape, Houdini.

1204
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:19,306
Oh, God. I can't believe I'm doing this.

1205
00:54:19,381 --> 00:54:21,634
[pop music playing]

1206
00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:30,726
[inaudible]

1207
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,492
[inaudible]

1208
00:54:48,494 --> 00:54:49,791
You know, I can't get over it.

1209
00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:53,249
Honestly, I'm not sure
I've ever seen a prettier sky.

1210
00:54:53,332 --> 00:54:55,755
- Mmm.
- Right?

1211
00:54:55,834 --> 00:54:57,882
- Cheers.
- Oh, cheers, okay.

1212
00:54:57,961 --> 00:54:59,178
Boom.

1213
00:54:59,505 --> 00:55:00,973
Can I show you something?

1214
00:55:01,757 --> 00:55:03,509
- Sure.
- Come with me.

1215
00:55:03,592 --> 00:55:04,593
What are we doing? Wait.

1216
00:55:04,676 --> 00:55:06,849
- Are you nervous?
- Oh... Should I be?

1217
00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:08,101
Mm-hmm.

1218
00:55:08,180 --> 00:55:09,853
I'm not sure I've ever met anybody

1219
00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:12,606
who owned their own barn before.

1220
00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:15,111
You got to get out
of the city more often.

1221
00:55:15,187 --> 00:55:18,191
Uh-huh. Oh, no, wait, no.
Forget it.

1222
00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:20,947
There is no chance in hell
I'm getting into that thing.

1223
00:55:21,026 --> 00:55:22,278
No. No!

1224
00:55:22,361 --> 00:55:24,409
You're gonna love it.
It's gonna be great.

1225
00:55:24,488 --> 00:55:26,957
I'm sorry, but...
What are you talking about?

1226
00:55:27,032 --> 00:55:28,454
No, I'm not getting in there.

1227
00:55:28,534 --> 00:55:30,787
These are the controls.
Don't touch anything.

1228
00:55:30,869 --> 00:55:32,212
If you touch it, we'll crash.

1229
00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,915
- Don't say that.
- I'm kidding.

1230
00:55:34,998 --> 00:55:36,966
This is my baby, okay?

1231
00:55:37,042 --> 00:55:39,010
See that "B" there? You see?

1232
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:42,716
- It's a Beechcraft Bonanza V-Tail.
- Okay.

1233
00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:45,426
And it's been my passion project
for the last...

1234
00:55:46,009 --> 00:55:47,181
20 years.

1235
00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:49,434
Twenty years! Wait a minute.
How old is this thing?

1236
00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:51,686
- It's a 1951.
- Whoa!

1237
00:55:51,765 --> 00:55:53,984
I'm a 1951! Let me out of here!

1238
00:55:54,059 --> 00:55:55,686
No, seriously.

1239
00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:57,988
- Okay, we're going up.
- Wait, no.

1240
00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,280
I'm gonna regret this!

1241
00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:09,955
Oh, please. No, no, you have
a death wish. Death wish!

1242
00:56:10,033 --> 00:56:12,411
- Please.
- We're all gonna die someday, Diane.

1243
00:56:12,786 --> 00:56:16,086
I just feel like it's worth living
a little bit while we still can.

1244
00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:17,711
[screams]

1245
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:19,919
[pop music playing]

1246
00:56:28,510 --> 00:56:30,137
[inaudible]

1247
00:56:36,476 --> 00:56:38,319
Overwhelming, huh?

1248
00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:39,772
Wanna hold on to the...

1249
00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:42,324
- Oh, okay.
- Just hold on to it.

1250
00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:43,742
I'll hold on.

1251
00:56:48,113 --> 00:56:49,535
- No!
- See that?

1252
00:56:49,615 --> 00:56:50,662
Yes.

1253
00:56:55,287 --> 00:56:57,255
Oh, no, that's...

1254
00:57:01,501 --> 00:57:04,095
- I'm gonna bank, to the right.
- You're gonna bank?

1255
00:57:07,507 --> 00:57:09,009
[Diane] Oh...

1256
00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,560
[Mitchell] You know what that is?

1257
00:57:10,636 --> 00:57:13,059
Yes. That's Cathedral Rock.

1258
00:57:13,138 --> 00:57:14,606
That's right.

1259
00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:17,939
Oh, my God.

1260
00:57:38,830 --> 00:57:40,207
[sighs]

1261
00:57:49,716 --> 00:57:51,184
[whinnying]

1262
00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:55,139
And all this, though,
from being a pilot

1263
00:57:55,222 --> 00:57:57,975
-is what you're saying, right? This?
- No.

1264
00:57:58,058 --> 00:57:59,935
- No?
- No, what happened was

1265
00:58:00,018 --> 00:58:01,691
I got out of the Air Force,

1266
00:58:01,770 --> 00:58:05,240
and I went to work for this
aeronautical research lab.

1267
00:58:05,315 --> 00:58:08,569
And, you know, I came up
with this design that...

1268
00:58:09,069 --> 00:58:11,492
that reduced engine drag in a jet.

1269
00:58:11,571 --> 00:58:13,573
It's silly, but it's a big patent,

1270
00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:16,456
and this is what happened
right here. See?

1271
00:58:16,535 --> 00:58:18,162
[cell phone vibrating]

1272
00:58:20,539 --> 00:58:22,633
You're gonna have
to introduce me to your family.

1273
00:58:22,708 --> 00:58:24,005
When can I meet them?

1274
00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:26,303
- I don't think that's a good idea.
- Why?

1275
00:58:26,378 --> 00:58:29,382
Because they're still very sensitive
about their father and...

1276
00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:32,054
What about you?

1277
00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:37,181
Well, I'm... I mean, I loved him.

1278
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:42,110
But I guess I realized
I was in mourning

1279
00:58:42,185 --> 00:58:43,983
for the end of something.

1280
00:58:44,062 --> 00:58:45,484
It's been a long time.

1281
00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:48,738
I mean, I guess, I don't know,
the world sees your...

1282
00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:50,952
your relationship in one way,

1283
00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:53,326
you just kind of go along, but...

1284
00:58:53,405 --> 00:58:55,157
then the truth is...

1285
00:58:56,658 --> 00:58:58,786
it had been over between us
for a long time.

1286
00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:00,954
So...

1287
00:59:01,705 --> 00:59:03,173
what do you think of that?

1288
00:59:04,458 --> 00:59:06,301
You don't want to hear
my sad story, do you?

1289
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:08,003
Maybe you should tell me yours.

1290
00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:09,554
[Mitchell] I don't have a sad story.

1291
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:12,132
[Diane] You don't have a sad story
'cause you're rich.

1292
00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:14,513
It's been 24 hours
and there's still no answer.

1293
00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:16,015
Okay, I'm sure she's fine.

1294
00:59:16,094 --> 00:59:17,516
You're so sure everything is fine!

1295
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:19,348
She could be passed out
in a ditch somewhere!

1296
00:59:19,431 --> 00:59:21,854
Adrianne, please calm down.

1297
00:59:21,933 --> 00:59:24,561
- I'm calling Jill.
- You're being hormonal!

1298
00:59:25,479 --> 00:59:26,731
[vibrates]

1299
00:59:40,786 --> 00:59:42,288
[vibrates]

1300
00:59:47,542 --> 00:59:51,263
[pop music playing]

1301
01:00:01,515 --> 01:00:03,108
Sharon, is that you?

1302
01:00:04,684 --> 01:00:06,778
Tom? Hi.

1303
01:00:06,853 --> 01:00:08,355
Wow! Hi!

1304
01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:09,781
Hi...

1305
01:00:10,148 --> 01:00:12,242
- Unexpected.
- Yeah.

1306
01:00:16,738 --> 01:00:18,240
Your hair's... dark.

1307
01:00:18,323 --> 01:00:19,324
Oh, it's dyed.

1308
01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:21,956
- I know.
- Right, right.

1309
01:00:22,035 --> 01:00:23,537
I want to introduce you to someone.

1310
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:24,963
Oh, actually, I have t0--

1311
01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:26,585
[Tom] Babe! Come here.

1312
01:00:27,207 --> 01:00:29,801
Babe,babe,
I want you to meet Sharon.

1313
01:00:29,876 --> 01:00:31,924
Sharon, this is my fiancée, Cheryl.

1314
01:00:32,003 --> 01:00:34,552
It is so nice to meet you!

1315
01:00:34,631 --> 01:00:36,258
I've heard so much about you.

1316
01:00:36,341 --> 01:00:37,843
Sharon?

1317
01:00:37,926 --> 01:00:39,519
Excuse me, are you Sharon?

1318
01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:41,517
- Yeah.
- I'm so sorry I'm late.

1319
01:00:41,596 --> 01:00:44,770
I was in a complicated sinus surgery.

1320
01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:46,648
Don't ask. [chuckles]

1321
01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:48,603
Hi, I'm Dr. Derek.

1322
01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:50,189
You can just call me Derek.

1323
01:00:50,272 --> 01:00:51,398
Hi, I'm Tom.

1324
01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:53,950
- Kill me now.
- I'm sorry, who are you?

1325
01:00:54,025 --> 01:00:57,529
Dr. Derek. Derek. Sharon's date.

1326
01:00:57,612 --> 01:01:00,491
- Wow.
- Hi. I am Cheryl.

1327
01:01:01,032 --> 01:01:03,581
I didn't know you were seeing someone.
That's great.

1328
01:01:03,660 --> 01:01:06,664
You look so amazing
without your mask!

1329
01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:10,175
[coos] Oh, how sweet.

1330
01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:13,128
You should bring Dr. Derek
to the party next week.

1331
01:01:13,211 --> 01:01:15,213
- What?
- The double-engagement party.

1332
01:01:15,297 --> 01:01:16,344
Didn't Jared tell you?

1333
01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:17,765
[Tom] Cheryl and I got engaged.

1334
01:01:17,841 --> 01:01:20,219
We've having a little celebration
with our friends.

1335
01:01:20,302 --> 01:01:22,430
But it really is for Jared and Kate.

1336
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:24,765
-[Cheryl] We would so love to have you.
-[Tom] Yes.

1337
01:01:24,848 --> 01:01:26,976
- And you, too, Doctor.
-[Tom] Yeah.

1338
01:01:27,058 --> 01:01:29,527
Well, that sounds so nice!

1339
01:01:29,603 --> 01:01:32,857
Say, do you need a DJ?
I do that on the side.

1340
01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:34,407
<i>"Qohx
'Gum!</i>

1341
01:01:34,482 --> 01:01:36,701
[Tom] Do you do the vinyl
or what do you do, CDs?

1342
01:01:37,235 --> 01:01:39,237
[chattering]

1343
01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:59,633
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

1344
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:01,684
You sure you're okay in the bar?

1345
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,263
Yeah. It's gonna be like
the good old days.

1346
01:02:06,014 --> 01:02:07,357
Cheers.

1347
01:02:31,414 --> 01:02:33,166
Ha! Am I ever.

1348
01:02:33,917 --> 01:02:36,591
Inner goddess doing
the merengue, my ass!

1349
01:02:39,256 --> 01:02:41,759
So is this where you take all the boys?

1350
01:02:42,050 --> 01:02:45,020
Only the ones I don't want
to be seen with at the bar.

1351
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,978
Well, I'll choose
to take that as a compliment.

1352
01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:52,652
Restricted area, huh?

1353
01:02:52,727 --> 01:02:54,525
[Vivian] Owner's perks.

1354
01:02:58,108 --> 01:02:59,576
Look at this.

1355
01:03:00,277 --> 01:03:02,700
A single solitary chair.

1356
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:04,201
It's all a girl needs.

1357
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:06,784
It's like a queen's throne
atop her castle.

1358
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,582
Look. Look at the view.

1359
01:03:09,995 --> 01:03:13,374
[Arthur] Yeah. Look at
all those twinkling lights.

1360
01:03:13,581 --> 01:03:15,754
All those lives being lived.

1361
01:03:17,877 --> 01:03:20,721
As the poem goes,
you took the road less traveled,

1362
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,676
and it made... all the difference.

1363
01:03:24,676 --> 01:03:27,020
You know, that's not really
what that poem is about.

1364
01:03:28,430 --> 01:03:29,727
- Is that right?
- No.

1365
01:03:30,265 --> 01:03:31,687
It's, um...

1366
01:03:32,559 --> 01:03:36,405
It's about how we--
we tell the story of our lives,

1367
01:03:37,063 --> 01:03:40,567
so we feel heroic, brave...

1368
01:03:41,943 --> 01:03:43,695
but in fact, there's no difference

1369
01:03:43,778 --> 01:03:45,576
in the paths to begin with.

1370
01:03:47,115 --> 01:03:48,913
- No difference in the paths?
- Nope.

1371
01:03:51,786 --> 01:03:53,629
Fascinating poem.

1372
01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:02,468
Arthur, come here.

1373
01:04:02,964 --> 01:04:06,594
Look at this. You see that
building with the red lights?

1374
01:04:07,385 --> 01:04:09,479
- Is that our diner?
- Yeah.

1375
01:04:10,972 --> 01:04:14,067
I can't believe your hotel
overlooks our favorite place.

1376
01:04:20,774 --> 01:04:23,527
According to the airline,
your mother never boarded her flight.

1377
01:04:23,610 --> 01:04:25,863
- Oh, my God.
- You said not to worry about it!

1378
01:04:25,945 --> 01:04:27,993
- Okay, you can worry now.
- What?

1379
01:04:28,073 --> 01:04:29,245
However...

1380
01:04:29,657 --> 01:04:31,455
we did trace a signal
to her cell phone.

1381
01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:33,002
- What?
- Okay.

1382
01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:35,080
- What does that mean?
- We know where she is.

1383
01:04:35,163 --> 01:04:37,131
- She's been kidnapped?
- I did not say that.

1384
01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:38,675
- Is there a ransom?
- You know where she is?

1385
01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:40,548
In a case like this,
it's best to remain calm.

1386
01:04:40,627 --> 01:04:42,220
- Let's get a grip, folks.
- You know where she is?

1387
01:04:42,295 --> 01:04:44,218
If you had to guess,
what would you say'?

1388
01:04:44,297 --> 01:04:46,015
I don't have to guess,
I actually know.

1389
01:04:46,091 --> 01:04:47,513
- Well, then take us there!
- Can I see the pad?

1390
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:50,391
I can't believe
you put Viagra in my beer.

1391
01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:52,438
Well, it was an innocent mistake.

1392
01:04:52,514 --> 01:04:54,892
Oh, innocent. How is it innocent?
You poisoned me.

1393
01:04:54,974 --> 01:04:56,191
Hardly.

1394
01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:58,520
Do not use that word.

1395
01:04:58,603 --> 01:05:01,482
- I'm sorry. How does it feel?
- Hard!

1396
01:05:01,564 --> 01:05:03,441
I thought we weren't
gonna use that word.

1397
01:05:03,525 --> 01:05:05,152
I can, you can't.

1398
01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:07,237
- God, there are so many rules.
- Don't, Carol!

1399
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,948
-[tires squealing]
- Jeez.

1400
01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:12,159
I'll tell you something,
I don't think it ought to go to waste.

1401
01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:14,620
-[Bruce] Seriously! Stop it.
-[Carol] Calm down.

1402
01:05:14,702 --> 01:05:16,875
[sirens blaring]

1403
01:05:16,955 --> 01:05:19,003
Really? I'm being pulled over.

1404
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,214
Sir, I'm gonna need you
to step out of the vehicle.

1405
01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:24,341
I don't think that's
a good idea, Officer.

1406
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:27,174
Out of the car now!

1407
01:05:27,257 --> 01:05:28,634
Okay, okay.

1408
01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,931
Gosh darn it.

1409
01:05:32,220 --> 01:05:33,472
Man.

1410
01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:39,561
Look, I'm sorry.
Uh, my wife put Viagra in my drink.

1411
01:05:39,644 --> 01:05:41,567
It's actually true.
It's my bad, I'm so sorry.

1412
01:05:41,646 --> 01:05:44,274
But you see, it's just he's been
having a little trouble

1413
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:47,281
in that department,
and he was embarrassed.

1414
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,579
And if there's one thing
I know about this man,

1415
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:51,577
it's that he really hates
to be embarrassed.

1416
01:05:51,656 --> 01:05:52,748
Isn't that true, Pup?

1417
01:05:52,824 --> 01:05:54,246
Oh, I hate a lot of things right now.

1418
01:05:54,325 --> 01:05:56,123
That's not even in the top three.

1419
01:05:56,327 --> 01:05:58,455
Will this affect your ability to drive?

1420
01:05:58,997 --> 01:06:00,340
[Bruce] No, ma'am.
Mmm-mmm.

1421
01:06:01,207 --> 01:06:02,584
Okay-

1422
01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:04,628
- E"J<>y your night.
-[Bruce] Okay.

1423
01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:06,842
You, too.

1424
01:06:06,921 --> 01:06:08,514
Thank you.

1425
01:06:15,763 --> 01:06:17,265
[Mitchell] I think I like you.

1426
01:06:17,348 --> 01:06:20,602
Well, I think that's probably
just the wine talking, right'?

1427
01:06:21,102 --> 01:06:22,319
Wait.

1428
01:06:23,730 --> 01:06:26,449
You know what?
I think I'm in trouble here.

1429
01:06:26,858 --> 01:06:29,031
- Oh, I'm well past trouble.
- Yeah?

1430
01:06:29,110 --> 01:06:30,953
-[thump]
- What?

1431
01:06:31,029 --> 01:06:32,531
I think I heard something.

1432
01:06:32,614 --> 01:06:34,161
It's probably just
the wine talking, right?

1433
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:35,492
[chuckling]

1434
01:06:35,575 --> 01:06:37,953
And how often does the wine
talk in your world?

1435
01:06:38,036 --> 01:06:41,085
-[gate opens]
- Oh, my God. Wait, who-- who is that?

1436
01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:44,668
- Mom?
-[Mitchell] Oh, boy.

1437
01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:46,094
[Diane shrieks]

1438
01:06:46,169 --> 01:06:48,342
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

1439
01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:50,219
Oh, my God!

1440
01:06:50,298 --> 01:06:52,426
Oh, my God! Mom!

1441
01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:54,728
Honey, let me explain.

1442
01:06:54,802 --> 01:06:56,725
What the heck is happening here?

1443
01:06:56,804 --> 01:07:00,980
Hi. You must be, uh,
Adrianne and Jill.

1444
01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:02,356
I'm Mitchell.

1445
01:07:02,435 --> 01:07:03,482
- Chris.
- Stop it!

1446
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,188
Mitchell, can you just...

1447
01:07:05,271 --> 01:07:06,318
[shrieks]

1448
01:07:06,397 --> 01:07:07,444
You Okay?

1449
01:07:07,524 --> 01:07:10,903
-[Jill] Mom!
- No, please. No, I'm fine.

1450
01:07:10,985 --> 01:07:13,408
Just let me explain, okay?
I'll be right back.

1451
01:07:13,488 --> 01:07:15,035
Wait, where are you going?

1452
01:07:17,450 --> 01:07:21,330
She's okay. She's perfectly...
She was in good hands. Relax.

1453
01:07:21,412 --> 01:07:23,289
- You relax!
-[Mitchell] No, it's okay.

1454
01:07:23,373 --> 01:07:25,421
- You relax!
- We've had a long day. I'm sorry.

1455
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:27,844
I was just trying to give us
a little jumpstart.

1456
01:07:27,919 --> 01:07:30,013
I thought maybe if we had
a really nice night

1457
01:07:30,088 --> 01:07:31,840
and things sort of
naturally progressed,

1458
01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:34,346
then maybe
we would both feel better.

1459
01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,803
Great plan! Congratulations
on the execution.

1460
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:40,356
Sorry. I really was just
trying to help you, Bruce.

1461
01:07:40,431 --> 01:07:42,559
Help me?
By never once considering

1462
01:07:42,642 --> 01:07:44,770
that I might have an opinion!

1463
01:07:45,270 --> 01:07:47,864
No, it's not just tonight.
It's everything, Carol!

1464
01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:49,907
You've got me taking dance lessons.

1465
01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:54,363
Dance lessons for a talent show
that I never even signed up for!

1466
01:07:54,445 --> 01:07:57,119
You've been going to my
No Kid Hungry fundraiser

1467
01:07:57,198 --> 01:07:58,745
for the past 15 years.

1468
01:07:58,825 --> 01:08:00,327
You always show up for me.

1469
01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:02,162
That was for dinner.

1470
01:08:02,245 --> 01:08:03,997
Well, forgive me for trying to find ways

1471
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:05,297
to keep us connected.

1472
01:08:05,373 --> 01:08:07,341
“Hey, Bruce, here's something
you're gonna hate to do

1473
01:08:07,417 --> 01:08:10,796
for the next two months,
but in the end it'll be okay

1474
01:08:10,878 --> 01:08:14,428
because there will be
an onstage public shaming!

1475
01:08:14,507 --> 01:08:16,601
So happy anniversary!"

1476
01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:19,637
What, what? Sorry, sorry.

1477
01:08:19,721 --> 01:08:21,519
Didn't hear you at all,
because my husband

1478
01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:23,771
gave me these wonderful earplugs,

1479
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:26,273
so we wouldn't have to listen
to each other anymore.

1480
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:28,104
Happy anniversary!

1481
01:08:28,980 --> 01:08:30,573
Hey, and by the way,

1482
01:08:30,648 --> 01:08:32,275
I got us the earplugs
so you wouldn't miss

1483
01:08:32,358 --> 01:08:33,735
any of your TV shows,

1484
01:08:33,818 --> 01:08:36,788
just because I happen
to love to fall asleep

1485
01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:38,615
next to my wife in our bed!

1486
01:08:39,741 --> 01:08:41,539
So forgive me!

1487
01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:44,128
[bang]

1488
01:08:44,412 --> 01:08:45,834
[groans]

1489
01:08:46,748 --> 01:08:47,874
[grunts angrily]

1490
01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:52,595
[groans]

1491
01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:56,474
Okay, what are you doing?
Come on.

1492
01:08:57,175 --> 01:08:58,301
Diane, I know this--

1493
01:08:58,384 --> 01:09:00,512
I know this is not the direction
we hoped for this evening.

1494
01:09:00,595 --> 01:09:05,021
This is... It's such a disaster!
Do you see what I mean?

1495
01:09:05,099 --> 01:09:07,773
You've got to admit it was kind of funny.
A cop showed up!

1496
01:09:07,852 --> 01:09:09,354
No, it wasn't kind of funny.

1497
01:09:09,437 --> 01:09:12,065
This whole thing
is just one giant mistake.

1498
01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:13,445
You don't believe that.

1499
01:09:13,524 --> 01:09:15,367
I get that it's embarrassing,
but who gives a shit?

1500
01:09:15,443 --> 01:09:17,286
No, you know what?
You don't get it, Mitchell.

1501
01:09:17,362 --> 01:09:19,285
You know why?
Because you don't have kids.

1502
01:09:19,697 --> 01:09:22,792
Kids? They're like adults, your kids.

1503
01:09:23,743 --> 01:09:24,995
You know,

1504
01:09:25,078 --> 01:09:26,751
you're out here on your ranch,

1505
01:09:26,829 --> 01:09:28,627
with no one to take care of but yourself.

1506
01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:31,630
Okay, that's fine for you,
but that's not the real world.

1507
01:09:31,959 --> 01:09:34,678
I have a family
and I have responsibilities.

1508
01:09:34,754 --> 01:09:37,974
- I'm sorry, but that's my world.
- I'm sure I don't understand

1509
01:09:38,049 --> 01:09:39,642
everything you're
going through right now.

1510
01:09:39,717 --> 01:09:41,640
That's right. You don't have a clue.

1511
01:09:41,719 --> 01:09:45,440
Listen to me. Look at me.
I know we just met.

1512
01:09:45,515 --> 01:09:48,064
But you can't spend your entire life
just going around

1513
01:09:48,142 --> 01:09:49,769
taking care of other people.

1514
01:09:49,852 --> 01:09:51,820
That's also not part of the real world.

1515
01:09:51,896 --> 01:09:53,318
Okay. heY!

1516
01:09:53,648 --> 01:09:55,241
- Diane.
- What? What?

1517
01:09:55,316 --> 01:09:57,193
I'm saying it's okay
to be happy, Diane.

1518
01:09:58,069 --> 01:10:00,492
Well, I'm really...
I'm sorry, but I have to go.

1519
01:10:33,730 --> 01:10:36,153
[rock music playing]

1520
01:11:09,682 --> 01:11:11,059
[music fades]

1521
01:11:24,363 --> 01:11:26,286
Bruce. Bruce, honey.

1522
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:27,909
What?

1523
01:11:28,409 --> 01:11:32,084
I know I've been acting
a little crazy lately.

1524
01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:35,212
And obviously
I went overboard tonight.

1525
01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:36,634
Really?

1526
01:11:36,709 --> 01:11:38,382
My gosh, I hadn't noticed.

1527
01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:41,798
I am so sorry.

1528
01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:46,010
I embarrassed you...

1529
01:11:47,637 --> 01:11:49,981
and I made you feel
like you didn't matter.

1530
01:11:50,431 --> 01:11:52,399
I just don't know
what's been going on with you

1531
01:11:52,475 --> 01:11:55,445
for the last few months
and it scares me.

1532
01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:58,481
I know what I did was wrong, and...

1533
01:11:59,774 --> 01:12:01,151
I'm sorry.

1534
01:12:03,319 --> 01:12:04,866
[sighs]

1535
01:12:04,946 --> 01:12:06,414
I got spooked.

1536
01:12:06,489 --> 01:12:08,241
Spooked?

1537
01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:10,452
Yeah, at the...

1538
01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:13,667
retirement party.

1539
01:12:13,746 --> 01:12:14,998
You know, I saw...

1540
01:12:15,998 --> 01:12:18,842
4O years just... vanish.

1541
01:12:19,418 --> 01:12:22,718
And I didn't know
who I was anymore.

1542
01:12:23,673 --> 01:12:25,675
Well, what was I gonna do?

1543
01:12:26,175 --> 01:12:27,518
What can I do?

1544
01:12:28,052 --> 01:12:29,395
I got scared.

1545
01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:32,023
I am scared.

1546
01:12:33,307 --> 01:12:37,153
And I need a little time
to figure out who I am again.

1547
01:12:37,562 --> 01:12:38,984
[Carol] I hear you.

1548
01:12:39,063 --> 01:12:42,738
And I'm not gonna try
to fix everything on my own...

1549
01:12:44,235 --> 01:12:46,283
tempting though that may be.

1550
01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:49,036
And I'm not gonna make you do
a bunch of stuff

1551
01:12:49,115 --> 01:12:51,789
that you don't want to do,
like dancing at the fundraiser.

1552
01:12:51,868 --> 01:12:53,996
I know you never wanted to do that.

1553
01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:55,830
So forget it, okay?

1554
01:12:57,248 --> 01:12:58,625
I'm going to bed.

1555
01:13:06,757 --> 01:13:09,351
<i>[Carol] Whoa, ice cream
straight from the tub?</i>

1556
01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:13,273
Yeah, well, I ran into Tom
and his very happy fiancée.

1557
01:13:13,347 --> 01:13:14,724
Ah!

1558
01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:16,605
They're hosting
a double-engagement party

1559
01:13:16,684 --> 01:13:18,152
at their house.

1560
01:13:18,227 --> 01:13:20,730
Oh, did I mention he calls her "babe"?

1561
01:13:20,813 --> 01:13:23,032
Which is sort of perfect
since she's a child.

1562
01:13:23,107 --> 01:13:24,233
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.

1563
01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:25,489
What did I miss?

1564
01:13:25,568 --> 01:13:28,196
Well, Sharon is never dating again.

1565
01:13:28,279 --> 01:13:29,872
And we're all miserable.

1566
01:13:29,947 --> 01:13:31,415
So basically nothing has changed.

1567
01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:33,037
Yeah, well...

1568
01:13:33,367 --> 01:13:37,042
Whoa. Since when
do you eat ice cream?

1569
01:13:37,121 --> 01:13:38,714
[mumbles] Since now.

1570
01:13:38,789 --> 01:13:41,008
So I take it things
went south for you, too?

1571
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:43,010
I slept with Arthur.

1572
01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:44,883
Now, there's a shocker.

1573
01:13:44,962 --> 01:13:46,555
No, not sex.

1574
01:13:47,298 --> 01:13:49,972
I actually fell asleep with him.

1575
01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:52,850
You've never been able
to sleep with a man before!

1576
01:13:52,929 --> 01:13:54,306
I know.

1577
01:13:54,388 --> 01:13:57,016
So, I mean...
you didn't have sex?

1578
01:13:57,099 --> 01:13:59,522
We slept on a couch
and he tickled my arm.

1579
01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:03,323
Oh, boy, now this is a disaster.
When is he leaving?

1580
01:14:03,397 --> 01:14:05,946
Not soon enough!
God, I got a brain freeze.

1581
01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:07,743
Here, give that to a professional.

1582
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,286
Oh, my God!

1583
01:14:09,362 --> 01:14:11,660
Well, anyway,
I have an announcement.

1584
01:14:12,573 --> 01:14:13,574
Okay-

1585
01:14:13,658 --> 01:14:14,784
lam...

1586
01:14:14,867 --> 01:14:17,711
I'm officially... moving to Arizona.

1587
01:14:17,787 --> 01:14:20,415
- What?
- Oh, tell me it's for the pilot!

1588
01:14:20,498 --> 01:14:23,217
No, no, no.
For my daughters.

1589
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:25,883
This has gone from bad to worse!

1590
01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:29,262
Well, I mean, they renovated
the basement for me,

1591
01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:31,013
and everything is slip resistant,

1592
01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:33,311
and I can walk into the tub.

1593
01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:34,933
- Oh, my God.
-lck.

1594
01:14:35,012 --> 01:14:36,639
But what about the pilot?

1595
01:14:36,722 --> 01:14:39,566
Crashed and burned.
I mean, we're not 18 anymore.

1596
01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:41,110
Nope.

1597
01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:43,108
We're sure not spring flowers.

1598
01:14:43,187 --> 01:14:45,690
No. More like potpourri.

1599
01:14:45,773 --> 01:14:47,491
So, this is...

1600
01:14:47,566 --> 01:14:49,739
[groans] Oh, my God,
this is my last book club!

1601
01:14:49,819 --> 01:14:51,571
Oh, no, you're kidding!

1602
01:14:51,654 --> 01:14:52,871
Oh, Diane!

1603
01:14:52,947 --> 01:14:55,120
Do we even want to talk
about the book?

1604
01:14:55,199 --> 01:14:56,291
[groans]

1605
01:14:56,742 --> 01:14:59,040
- I hate this book, okay? Done.
-[Vivian] Me, too.

1606
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:00,212
Yeah.

1607
01:15:00,287 --> 01:15:01,709
Are we really this pathetic?

1608
01:15:01,789 --> 01:15:04,417
None of us have
anything interesting to say?

1609
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:08,550
Well, my little affair
ended with me in a pool

1610
01:15:08,629 --> 01:15:10,848
on top of an inflatable swan

1611
01:15:10,923 --> 01:15:13,142
and my daughters showing up
with the police!

1612
01:15:13,217 --> 01:15:16,562
Well, that certainly
qualifies as interesting.

1613
01:15:16,846 --> 01:15:19,770
I'm assuming
you were not in that pool alone.

1614
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,442
Well... I was not.

1615
01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:23,481
Good for you.

1616
01:15:23,853 --> 01:15:26,402
Do I want to get us
another one of these?

1617
01:15:26,480 --> 01:15:28,278
- Oh, yeah.
- Yes!

1618
01:15:28,357 --> 01:15:29,859
[Diane] The sooner the better.

1619
01:15:31,819 --> 01:15:34,698
[pop music playing]

1620
01:15:53,132 --> 01:15:54,805
Men make life impossible.

1621
01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:56,557
Oh, God, tell me about it.

1622
01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:58,353
Well, you're one to talk.

1623
01:15:58,429 --> 01:16:02,024
Ditching God's gift to women
so you can live in a basement

1624
01:16:02,099 --> 01:16:04,898
and breastfeed
your daughter's children?

1625
01:16:04,977 --> 01:16:07,730
You know something?
That's really rich coming from you.

1626
01:16:07,813 --> 01:16:10,362
You've been stuck on Tom
for 18 years,

1627
01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:12,318
and you don't even like the guy.

1628
01:16:12,401 --> 01:16:13,823
He's not at your level.

1629
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:16,782
Eighteen years ago,
you couldn't wait to get rid of him.

1630
01:16:16,864 --> 01:16:20,494
But you've conveniently erased
that little piece of history.

1631
01:16:20,743 --> 01:16:23,872
Wish I could erase
a little piece of my history.

1632
01:16:23,954 --> 01:16:25,126
[Diane sighs]

1633
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:26,753
- Well...
- What?

1634
01:16:26,832 --> 01:16:28,834
I was fine until Arthur came along.

1635
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:30,465
I had a happy existence.

1636
01:16:30,544 --> 01:16:32,012
Had a roster of men

1637
01:16:32,088 --> 01:16:34,261
that would satisfy my every whim.

1638
01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:37,890
Oh, my God,
I can't listen to this anymore.

1639
01:16:37,968 --> 01:16:40,972
You really believe you're satisfied?
How could you be?

1640
01:16:41,055 --> 01:16:42,898
You're so terrified of getting hurt

1641
01:16:42,973 --> 01:16:46,193
that you do everything you can
to push away love.

1642
01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:47,941
[sighs]

1643
01:16:48,896 --> 01:16:52,150
I'm gonna go back
to having sex and not caring.

1644
01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:54,031
Because that's what
works for me, okay?

1645
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:56,363
Stop lying to yourself, Vivian.

1646
01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:58,789
Not everything in the world
is about sex.

1647
01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:00,662
Did you even read the book?

1648
01:17:00,950 --> 01:17:02,748
This is a love story.

1649
01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:05,797
That is what the world wants.
That's what the world needs.

1650
01:17:05,871 --> 01:17:09,000
So, okay, you can have sex
with anybody.

1651
01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:10,801
Well, whoop-de-fricking-do.

1652
01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,878
But you know what?
Eventually, people need

1653
01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:14,805
a little bit more than that.

1654
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:19,556
Everybody's got baggage
and pain and problems, but...

1655
01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:22,893
even Christian Grey fell in love.

1656
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:26,192
Yeah, and he was
fifty shades of fucked-up.

1657
01:17:26,267 --> 01:17:27,484
So...

1658
01:17:28,561 --> 01:17:29,813
here you go.

1659
01:17:29,895 --> 01:17:33,525
Book three? I am not sure
we'll survive another one.

1660
01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:35,701
Oh... Oh, God.

1661
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:40,577
God, I...

1662
01:17:41,115 --> 01:17:44,619
I really am gonna miss this. Right?

1663
01:17:44,702 --> 01:17:46,625
[Vivian] Oh, honey.

1664
01:17:57,715 --> 01:17:59,467
- Have a good drive.
- Thanks again.

1665
01:18:01,552 --> 01:18:02,849
[sighs]

1666
01:18:08,184 --> 01:18:09,310
Ginsburg.

1667
01:18:10,769 --> 01:18:12,737
What's happening here?

1668
01:18:12,813 --> 01:18:16,033
[C003] Huh, honey?
What's happening?

1669
01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:34,590
[Diane] Look at you.
Look at you.

1670
01:18:34,668 --> 01:18:36,887
Yeah, yeah. Look at you.

1671
01:18:48,766 --> 01:18:50,814
[cell phone ringing]

1672
01:18:53,312 --> 01:18:54,564
[ringing StOPS]

1673
01:18:57,233 --> 01:18:58,530
[door closes]

1674
01:19:02,947 --> 01:19:04,415
You're not taking my calls.

1675
01:19:04,949 --> 01:19:07,043
I don't have my phone with me.

1676
01:19:07,368 --> 01:19:09,837
[cell phone ringing]

1677
01:19:09,912 --> 01:19:11,414
[ringing StOPS]

1678
01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:16,169
Do you know why
I first started on radio?

1679
01:19:16,877 --> 01:19:18,094
No, I don't.

1680
01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:20,093
Because I loved the idea

1681
01:19:20,172 --> 01:19:23,392
of no matter what I said
or what music I played...

1682
01:19:24,510 --> 01:19:26,103
millions of people could just

1683
01:19:26,178 --> 01:19:28,055
turn on their radios and hear it.

1684
01:19:32,017 --> 01:19:33,894
But then as I got older...

1685
01:19:34,353 --> 01:19:36,151
I realized that...

1686
01:19:37,481 --> 01:19:39,199
reaching millions and millions

1687
01:19:39,275 --> 01:19:40,902
of anonymous people...

1688
01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:43,696
doesn't come close...

1689
01:19:44,071 --> 01:19:47,166
to reaching
just one person you love.

1690
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:54,331
And I'm... I'm leaving tomorrow.

1691
01:19:56,709 --> 01:19:58,461
And it got me thinking...

1692
01:20:00,379 --> 01:20:02,256
wouldn't it be nice if...

1693
01:20:02,339 --> 01:20:04,558
you were coming with me
to New York?

1694
01:20:05,843 --> 01:20:08,767
But then I thought about it
and I thought about you...

1695
01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:12,437
and your hotel and your rooftop...

1696
01:20:13,892 --> 01:20:17,066
and your inability
to make proper wishes.

1697
01:20:19,148 --> 01:20:22,368
I have no interest
in trying to change you, Vivian.

1698
01:20:24,570 --> 01:20:26,163
I love who you are.

1699
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:29,287
Rich and independent...

1700
01:20:30,367 --> 01:20:31,960
and a total pain in the ass.

1701
01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:35,790
That does sound like... like me.

1702
01:20:36,498 --> 01:20:39,718
And here we are,
staring at two paths.

1703
01:20:42,004 --> 01:20:43,631
And I know how I feel.

1704
01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:47,851
I know that you're the person
that I want to talk to.

1705
01:20:49,386 --> 01:20:51,684
You're the person I want to listen to.

1706
01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:56,482
You're the person I want
to splash in the fountain.

1707
01:20:59,563 --> 01:21:01,440
You're my person, Slim.

1708
01:21:08,739 --> 01:21:11,788
And I just wanted to know
what you thought about that.

1709
01:21:18,332 --> 01:21:21,927
It's-- It's been really nice
seeing you again, Arthur.

1710
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,972
I hope you have a safe trip home.

1711
01:21:32,888 --> 01:21:34,640
[sighs]

1712
01:21:36,183 --> 01:21:38,686
[laughter]

1713
01:21:38,769 --> 01:21:41,022
[chattering]

1714
01:21:43,816 --> 01:21:45,739
[calypso music playing]

1715
01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:47,320
- Hi.
- Hi.

1716
01:21:58,622 --> 01:22:02,252
Hi, everybody. I'd like to take
a second to say a few words.

1717
01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:05,338
As most of you know,
I'm Tom Meyers, Jared's dad.

1718
01:22:05,421 --> 01:22:07,423
On behalf of my fiancée,
Cheryl, and myself,

1719
01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:08,883
I want to thank you all for coming.

1720
01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:10,809
Kate, we're so excited to welcome you

1721
01:22:10,884 --> 01:22:12,477
and invite you into the family.

1722
01:22:12,845 --> 01:22:16,349
- Jared, we are so very happy for you.
- Thanks, Dad.

1723
01:22:16,432 --> 01:22:20,062
As Shakespeare said, "Love looks
not with the eyes but with the mind."

1724
01:22:20,352 --> 01:22:22,025
How right he was.

1725
01:22:22,104 --> 01:22:23,822
Love takes thought and care,

1726
01:22:23,897 --> 01:22:26,776
and I'm glad that
all the plus columns lined up.

1727
01:22:26,859 --> 01:22:27,951
[laughter]

1728
01:22:28,026 --> 01:22:30,449
Kate, you're getting
one of the good ones.

1729
01:22:30,529 --> 01:22:32,452
[all]...

1730
01:22:33,615 --> 01:22:36,289
Sorry, I said I wouldn't do this.
To Jared and Kate.

1731
01:22:38,537 --> 01:22:40,585
[guests] Cheers!

1732
01:22:45,544 --> 01:22:46,591
Oh!

1733
01:22:48,338 --> 01:22:49,931
I didn't mean to do that, sorry.

1734
01:22:50,257 --> 01:22:52,680
Um, as-- as few...

1735
01:22:53,051 --> 01:22:54,724
Well, if any of you know,

1736
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:57,306
I'm Jared's mother, Judge Meyers.

1737
01:22:58,182 --> 01:22:59,308
Or Sharon.

1738
01:23:00,184 --> 01:23:01,731
I just wanted to say,

1739
01:23:01,810 --> 01:23:04,359
I don't think that's what
Shakespeare had in mind

1740
01:23:04,438 --> 01:23:05,985
when he wrote those lines.

1741
01:23:06,940 --> 01:23:10,035
He was saying Cupid is blind.

1742
01:23:10,444 --> 01:23:12,822
He wasn't saying
that people should go

1743
01:23:12,905 --> 01:23:15,704
think themselves into love

1744
01:23:15,782 --> 01:23:18,251
and a system of pluses or minuses.

1745
01:23:18,327 --> 01:23:20,079
- Oh!
-[Sharon] But whatever.

1746
01:23:20,162 --> 01:23:23,132
Anyway, when I look at my son...

1747
01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:26,502
I am so proud of him because...

1748
01:23:27,211 --> 01:23:30,306
he has had the courage
to put himself out there,

1749
01:23:30,547 --> 01:23:33,266
and he's found someone
to make him happy.

1750
01:23:34,718 --> 01:23:36,345
That's inspiring.

1751
01:23:36,970 --> 01:23:39,644
Even for someone as old as me.

1752
01:23:39,723 --> 01:23:41,396
[laughter]

1753
01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:43,568
The truth is...

1754
01:23:44,561 --> 01:23:47,690
love is not blind,
and it's not a battlefield,

1755
01:23:47,773 --> 01:23:51,323
and it's not the sun or the moon
or everything we load onto it.

1756
01:23:52,778 --> 01:23:56,123
It's just a word
until someone gives it meaning.

1757
01:23:57,741 --> 01:24:00,494
And that's what the two of you
have found in each other.

1758
01:24:00,577 --> 01:24:02,830
In fact, all four of you.

1759
01:24:02,913 --> 01:24:05,007
And we all deserve that.

1760
01:24:05,374 --> 01:24:06,591
Well done.

1761
01:24:07,584 --> 01:24:08,585
[guests] Cheers!

1762
01:24:08,669 --> 01:24:10,216
[Tom] Kate and Jared.

1763
01:24:12,214 --> 01:24:14,933
[cell phone ringing]

1764
01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:21,432
[groans]

1765
01:24:22,349 --> 01:24:23,316
[groans] Hello?

1766
01:24:23,392 --> 01:24:25,144
<i>[hotel operator] Miss O'Donnell,
I'm calling</i> to <i>confirm</i>

1767
01:24:25,227 --> 01:24:27,321
<i>that Mr. Riley
has officially checked out.</i>

1768
01:24:27,729 --> 01:24:28,981
Thank you.

1769
01:24:31,942 --> 01:24:33,910
[doorbell ringing]

1770
01:24:33,986 --> 01:24:35,704
[door opening]

1771
01:24:37,531 --> 01:24:39,579
Hi, sweetie.

1772
01:24:39,658 --> 01:24:41,205
{gasps}
- Hey.

1773
01:24:41,285 --> 01:24:44,164
What happened? We've been
trying to call all afternoon.

1774
01:24:44,788 --> 01:24:46,415
[Diane] What, you're still in a robe?

1775
01:24:46,498 --> 01:24:48,751
[Sharon] Carol's show starts in an hour.

1776
01:24:49,167 --> 01:24:51,215
I saw Arthur last night.

1777
01:24:51,295 --> 01:24:52,421
Oh, fun.

1778
01:24:52,504 --> 01:24:55,974
No! I broke up with him
once and for all.

1779
01:24:56,049 --> 01:24:57,221
[gasps]

1780
01:24:57,301 --> 01:24:58,644
-[Vivian] I did.
- What happened?

1781
01:24:58,719 --> 01:25:00,596
He told me he wanted to invite me

1782
01:25:00,679 --> 01:25:01,976
to move to New York with him,

1783
01:25:02,055 --> 01:25:04,103
but he realized
he didn't want to change me

1784
01:25:04,182 --> 01:25:06,355
because he loves me the way I am.

1785
01:25:06,643 --> 01:25:08,111
And he only wants to talk to me,

1786
01:25:08,186 --> 01:25:09,688
and he only wants to listen to me.

1787
01:25:09,771 --> 01:25:12,695
He told me I was his person.

1788
01:25:12,774 --> 01:25:15,323
[groans] I'm sorry. I mean,

1789
01:25:15,402 --> 01:25:17,575
I'm not actually following here.

1790
01:25:17,654 --> 01:25:19,076
No, me, neither.

1791
01:25:19,156 --> 01:25:21,909
You said that he loves you...
as you are?

1792
01:25:21,992 --> 01:25:23,494
[Carol]
He doesn't want to change you?

1793
01:25:23,577 --> 01:25:25,124
And he wanted to know your thoughts?

1794
01:25:25,203 --> 01:25:28,582
- So you broke up with him?
- Well, yeah, exactly! Duh.

1795
01:25:28,665 --> 01:25:30,042
Are you out of your mind?

1796
01:25:32,085 --> 01:25:33,678
Okay, where is he?

1797
01:25:33,754 --> 01:25:36,883
He checked out
and he's on his way to New York.

1798
01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:40,139
Okay. Okay.
Time to get dressed.

1799
01:25:40,218 --> 01:25:42,391
[Carol] Yup. That's it, Viv,
you're going after him.

1800
01:25:42,471 --> 01:25:45,270
- Get up, get up.
-[Vivian] No! Oh, my God.

1801
01:25:45,349 --> 01:25:46,726
What time is his flight?

1802
01:25:46,808 --> 01:25:49,027
- Huh?
- Never mind, I'll figure it out.

1803
01:25:49,102 --> 01:25:51,025
She has to put on something sexy.

1804
01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:52,947
Everything she owns is sexy!

1805
01:25:53,023 --> 01:25:55,776
I can't... Oh, God! It is so yucky,

1806
01:25:55,859 --> 01:25:57,236
and this is so needy!

1807
01:25:57,319 --> 01:25:59,242
Sharon, I am not desperate.

1808
01:25:59,321 --> 01:26:01,119
No, you are not. You are stupid.

1809
01:26:01,198 --> 01:26:04,418
No, I am not.
You just-- You don't understand.

1810
01:26:04,493 --> 01:26:08,168
I know how this story ends,
and I do not like it.

1811
01:26:08,246 --> 01:26:10,544
If he has me, he's gonna get bored.

1812
01:26:10,624 --> 01:26:13,002
He hasn't seen me naked in 40 years!

1813
01:26:13,085 --> 01:26:14,678
I know. I'm sorry. Oh, my God...

1814
01:26:14,753 --> 01:26:17,632
I'm no fool! I know what happens.

1815
01:26:17,714 --> 01:26:19,307
He's gonna cheat on me

1816
01:26:19,383 --> 01:26:20,509
and leave me for a younger woman.

1817
01:26:20,592 --> 01:26:22,094
And then I'm gonna lose everything.

1818
01:26:22,177 --> 01:26:24,145
And it's just-- it's not worth it!

1819
01:26:24,221 --> 01:26:26,349
- Okay, baby, there you go.
- It isn't worth it.

1820
01:26:26,431 --> 01:26:27,683
[shrieks]

1821
01:26:27,891 --> 01:26:29,768
I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry.

1822
01:26:29,851 --> 01:26:31,649
But it had to be done, all right?

1823
01:26:32,020 --> 01:26:33,567
[chuckles]

1824
01:26:33,647 --> 01:26:34,864
[laughter]

1825
01:26:35,315 --> 01:26:38,194
- It's okay.
- His flight leaves in an hour.

1826
01:26:38,276 --> 01:26:40,028
- God, are you sure?
-[Sharon] Yes.

1827
01:26:40,112 --> 01:26:41,989
Okay, earrings! Time to go.

1828
01:26:42,072 --> 01:26:44,120
- Do I look okay?
- Yes, you look great.

1829
01:26:44,199 --> 01:26:45,371
Oh, the girls.

1830
01:26:45,450 --> 01:26:47,703
- You want me to put those on?
- Yep. Go.

1831
01:26:47,786 --> 01:26:49,959
G -Okay!
<i>_</i> o: g0, go,

1832
01:26:50,038 --> 01:26:51,381
[laughter]

1833
01:26:51,873 --> 01:26:54,126
I put a lipstick and compact in there.

1834
01:26:54,209 --> 01:26:56,211
Oh, that's so great!
Oh, thanks.

1835
01:26:56,294 --> 01:26:59,264
- Oh, my God, do I look okay?
- Yes! Yes.

1836
01:26:59,339 --> 01:27:00,591
[Diane cheers]

1837
01:27:00,674 --> 01:27:02,597
-[Sharon] Here we go.
-[Diane] Bye!

1838
01:27:02,676 --> 01:27:04,144
- Bye.
-[Vivian] Bye_

1839
01:27:04,553 --> 01:27:05,770
[doorbell]

1840
01:27:05,846 --> 01:27:07,348
[knocking]

1841
01:27:07,806 --> 01:27:09,433
My shoes.

1842
01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:11,693
Oh, and Carol, your show!

1843
01:27:11,768 --> 01:27:13,395
Oh, God, don't be ridiculous.

1844
01:27:13,478 --> 01:27:16,231
And Diane... you're leaving!

1845
01:27:16,314 --> 01:27:19,659
Oh, my God, you're leaving.
What am I gonna do?

1846
01:27:20,068 --> 01:27:21,320
Shoes!

1847
01:27:21,403 --> 01:27:23,701
Oh, God, thank you, guys.
I love you so much.

1848
01:27:28,702 --> 01:27:31,251
[shouts]
To the airport, Mario!

1849
01:27:31,329 --> 01:27:33,548
[Latin music playing]

1850
01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:39,596
[audience cheering]

1851
01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:41,173
Okay, that's scary.

1852
01:27:46,636 --> 01:27:49,185
[audience cheering]

1853
01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:51,437
You're gonna do great!
Gonna do great.

1854
01:27:51,516 --> 01:27:53,439
[audience whooping]

1855
01:27:55,854 --> 01:27:58,073
[audience cheering]

1856
01:28:01,526 --> 01:28:05,372
And that was Jed and Leyla
Sanderson performing!

1857
01:28:05,822 --> 01:28:08,450
Hard to believe
she's an anesthesiologist.

1858
01:28:09,201 --> 01:28:10,999
Arthur, it's Vivian. Call me back

1859
01:28:11,077 --> 01:28:12,454
before you board your plane.

1860
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:15,545
Mario, are you using Waze?

1861
01:28:16,041 --> 01:28:18,339
[Mario] Yes, Miss O'Donnell,
but I don't think we're gonna make it.

1862
01:28:24,049 --> 01:28:26,097
And last but not least,

1863
01:28:26,176 --> 01:28:30,682
everyone's favorite chef
and our fearless organizer.

1864
01:28:30,972 --> 01:28:35,523
Dancing a solo will be...
Carol Colby!

1865
01:28:35,602 --> 01:28:37,696
[applause]

1866
01:28:37,771 --> 01:28:40,365
["I'd Do Anything for Love"
by Meat Loaf playing]

1867
01:28:40,440 --> 01:28:42,534
Wait. No, no, wait. Sorry.

1868
01:28:42,818 --> 01:28:44,320
That's not the right song.

1869
01:28:44,402 --> 01:28:46,279
It's supposed to be
“Red, Red Robin Goes Bob, Bob--"

1870
01:28:46,863 --> 01:28:49,366
Oh, shoot. Meat Loaf? Come on!

1871
01:28:49,449 --> 01:28:50,541
Aw, screw it.

1872
01:28:54,704 --> 01:28:58,208
Oh, my God, she's tap dancing
to Meat Loaf!

1873
01:28:58,291 --> 01:28:59,918
[Diane]
And she's pulling it off!

1874
01:29:02,629 --> 01:29:04,631
[feet tapping]

1875
01:29:17,561 --> 01:29:19,279
[Carol shrieks]

1876
01:29:38,623 --> 01:29:40,216
[cheering]

1877
01:29:41,418 --> 01:29:42,419
Bruce!

1878
01:29:42,502 --> 01:29:44,925
[cheering]

1879
01:29:54,472 --> 01:29:57,066
Five, six, seven, eight...

1880
01:30:21,917 --> 01:30:23,669
Oh, my God.

1881
01:30:26,671 --> 01:30:29,971
My, oh, my!
How about those Colbys?

1882
01:30:31,635 --> 01:30:33,979
A romantic way to end the show.

1883
01:30:36,806 --> 01:30:40,106
Oh God, I can't believe you're here.

1884
01:30:40,185 --> 01:30:43,234
I couldn't miss a chance
to dance with my girl.

1885
01:30:43,521 --> 01:30:45,523
- You were incredible.
- No, I wasn't.

1886
01:30:45,607 --> 01:30:47,701
None of our steps
go with Meat Loaf.

1887
01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:51,117
Who needs the steps?
We were dancing.

1888
01:30:57,869 --> 01:30:59,997
I'm sorry. Your cell phone
is poking me.

1889
01:31:00,080 --> 01:31:02,003
No, I didn't bring my cell phone.

1890
01:31:02,832 --> 01:31:05,460
- Oh.
- You want to go home now? What do you say?

1891
01:31:05,543 --> 01:31:07,045
- I say yes.
- Okay.

1892
01:31:21,142 --> 01:31:22,485
Arthur!

1893
01:31:24,270 --> 01:31:26,068
I thought you left.

1894
01:31:26,940 --> 01:31:28,032
I did.

1895
01:31:30,443 --> 01:31:33,367
I went to the airport to try to see you.

1896
01:31:37,075 --> 01:31:38,452
Why are you here?

1897
01:31:40,912 --> 01:31:42,539
I realized I...

1898
01:31:42,956 --> 01:31:44,754
forgot to give you back your penny.

1899
01:31:47,127 --> 01:31:48,629
Why did you go to the airport?

1900
01:31:50,505 --> 01:31:52,803
I realized I wanted my penny back.

1901
01:31:53,591 --> 01:31:57,562
See, I tried to live without it
for-- for the past 40 years.

1902
01:31:58,638 --> 01:32:00,185
And I didn't like it.

1903
01:32:08,106 --> 01:32:09,653
Do you want to make a wish?

1904
01:32:11,026 --> 01:32:12,403
I do.

1905
01:32:16,865 --> 01:32:19,118
Oh, my God, you probably killed someone.

1906
01:32:21,327 --> 01:32:22,954
There's a subroof.

1907
01:32:41,514 --> 01:32:43,892
Nancy in my office,
she's in a book club,

1908
01:32:43,975 --> 01:32:45,568
and I thought
you might like to meet her.

1909
01:32:45,643 --> 01:32:47,896
Well, that's... that's very sweet.

1910
01:32:48,605 --> 01:32:50,107
Anyone else want
another piece of pizza?

1911
01:32:50,190 --> 01:32:51,157
I have one.

1912
01:32:52,108 --> 01:32:53,155
- Mom.
- What?

1913
01:32:53,234 --> 01:32:54,281
You're not hungry?

1914
01:32:55,236 --> 01:32:56,829
I guess not.

1915
01:32:56,905 --> 01:32:59,158
Well, I mean,
you're probably exhausted.

1916
01:32:59,240 --> 01:33:00,537
[scoffs]

1917
01:33:00,617 --> 01:33:03,291
It's really not okay
that you drove here all by yourself.

1918
01:33:03,369 --> 01:33:05,292
At your age, Morn,
you could have killed somebody.

1919
01:33:05,371 --> 01:33:06,497
I really don't think so.

1920
01:33:06,581 --> 01:33:08,709
And the fact that you
don't even realize that

1921
01:33:08,792 --> 01:33:09,918
is what is so scary.

1922
01:33:10,001 --> 01:33:11,173
Oh, Jesus! Will you just...

1923
01:33:11,252 --> 01:33:12,253
[groans]

1924
01:33:13,838 --> 01:33:15,715
Please stop, okay?

1925
01:33:16,883 --> 01:33:18,135
I mean, really!

1926
01:33:19,427 --> 01:33:20,553
Oh, my God.

1927
01:33:21,596 --> 01:33:22,563
Okay-

1928
01:33:26,184 --> 01:33:28,653
You know how proud I am
of both of you.

1929
01:33:31,314 --> 01:33:32,531
[sighs]

1930
01:33:33,525 --> 01:33:35,778
The greatest gift I think
a parent can give a child

1931
01:33:35,860 --> 01:33:37,157
is to lead by example,

1932
01:33:37,237 --> 01:33:39,410
and I don't think
I did a very good job.

1933
01:33:39,489 --> 01:33:40,706
But your father...

1934
01:33:40,782 --> 01:33:43,251
Oh, my goodness,
he was stable, wasn't he?

1935
01:33:43,326 --> 01:33:45,294
And smart and kind.

1936
01:33:45,370 --> 01:33:47,043
He was just a great dad.

1937
01:33:47,956 --> 01:33:50,334
Fine husband.
And we had a nice life.

1938
01:33:52,794 --> 01:33:56,344
But there's something...
I really have to say.

1939
01:34:01,553 --> 01:34:04,022
There's a man out there
who makes me feel things

1940
01:34:04,097 --> 01:34:05,940
that I didn't think were...

1941
01:34:06,516 --> 01:34:07,984
still possible.

1942
01:34:08,685 --> 01:34:10,312
You know what he does?
He makes me feel

1943
01:34:10,395 --> 01:34:13,023
curious and excited about the world.

1944
01:34:13,106 --> 01:34:16,360
And maybe things with us will go bust.

1945
01:34:16,442 --> 01:34:20,037
Maybe my feelings will be hurt,
but that's life.

1946
01:34:21,447 --> 01:34:23,870
And in spite of what
you both seem to think...

1947
01:34:24,784 --> 01:34:27,037
I'm not through living mine just yet.

1948
01:34:27,787 --> 01:34:29,380
I have things that I want to explore.

1949
01:34:29,455 --> 01:34:31,753
And guess what?
I think I've earned that right.

1950
01:34:31,833 --> 01:34:36,634
So it's time for all of this
to just stop, okay?

1951
01:34:37,922 --> 01:34:43,349
You both seem to have
very, very strong parenting instincts.

1952
01:34:43,428 --> 01:34:45,476
But do save it for your children

1953
01:34:45,555 --> 01:34:48,559
because your mother is doing just fine.

1954
01:34:50,602 --> 01:34:51,819
And...

1955
01:34:52,270 --> 01:34:54,147
I know I'm getting older.

1956
01:34:54,814 --> 01:34:57,317
But I'm still learning.

1957
01:34:57,817 --> 01:34:59,945
And one of the biggest
lessons I've learned

1958
01:35:00,028 --> 01:35:02,907
is not to be afraid to be happy.

1959
01:35:04,991 --> 01:35:06,584
I love you both.

1960
01:35:07,493 --> 01:35:09,541
But I'm not staying here anymore.

1961
01:35:11,247 --> 01:35:12,544
Mom...

1962
01:35:15,877 --> 01:35:17,595
Morn! Mom!

1963
01:35:20,298 --> 01:35:21,515
Have fun.

1964
01:35:26,387 --> 01:35:27,855
Love you.

1965
01:35:27,931 --> 01:35:29,524
- Love you, Mom.
- Love you.

1966
01:35:36,814 --> 01:35:39,192
- Drive safe!
-[Jill] Bye!

1967
01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:43,075
[pop music playing]

1968
01:36:25,947 --> 01:36:27,449
Can I come in?

1969
01:36:27,532 --> 01:36:28,749
No way.

1970
01:36:28,825 --> 01:36:30,418
- No way?
- No way.

1971
01:36:35,248 --> 01:36:38,218
- What's in the U-Haul?
- Just my overnight bag.

1972
01:36:52,598 --> 01:36:57,274
My inner goddess says,
"Most definitely yes."

1973
01:37:14,662 --> 01:37:16,664
[pop music playing]

1974
01:37:27,091 --> 01:37:29,514
Oh. Yeah, yeah, I see the arms.