1 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,345 Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson. You saw it, right? No-- 2 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,473 Has everybody seen the punch? 3 00:00:16,265 --> 00:00:17,350 Oh, my God. 4 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,144 Just a good old-fashioned clock to the face. 5 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,646 McConaughey was not fucking around. 6 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,439 {\an8}Walk us through what we're seeing here. 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,317 {\an8}Very subtle traces of aggression. 8 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:27,527 Good morning, Australia. 9 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,196 How about some Hollywood punch for brekkie? 10 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:33,991 American actor Matthew McConaughey punched Ed Harris in the face. 11 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,701 And would you believe it gets even weirder 12 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:39,622 than one movie star punching his friend/brother/fellow movie star 13 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,374 - in front of Dax Shepard? - Wow. 14 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,627 No one's heard from McConaughey since it happened. 15 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:47,296 {\an8}He's a white male. Oscar winner, 6 foot tall... 16 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,340 {\an8}Well, he looks a lot taller in person 17 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:51,635 {\an8}'cause of vibes and energy and stuff like that. 18 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:56,098 {\an8}Here is what he looks like when he's going for a western aesthetic. 19 00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:00,853 {\an8}And this is what he looks like on a cozy Sunday afternoon. 20 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,688 {\an8}And, yeah, well, okay, 21 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,692 {\an8}so there's now a slight chance that he might look something like this. 22 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,863 {\an8}Dad, if you're out there, come home. 23 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,348 Come on. 24 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,766 The voicemail inbox-- 25 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:22,892 He's still not answering. 26 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,519 I've called his agent. I've called his manager. 27 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,312 If we don't find him soon, he'll miss the rally. 28 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,606 What's happening? 29 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,816 - Babe, your eye is worse. - Can everyone just focus up? 30 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,109 I can spin a punch. 31 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,820 I can even spin the incest cousins over here. 32 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,781 - We're not cousins. - I'm adopted. 33 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:40,368 But I cannot spin a candidate ghosting his own campaign rally. 34 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:44,038 My priority is keeping this campaign from falling apart before it even begins. 35 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,498 There is a rally this afternoon. 36 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:49,252 We all need to focus on making sure that Matthew is on that stage. 37 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,795 Especially you. 38 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:55,716 You need to put some shoes on those filthy, little hobbit feet, 39 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,469 and go find Matthew and apologize to him, 40 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:02,558 and bring him back here to me. 41 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,852 Does that sound doable? 42 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,563 Apologize for getting sucker punched? 43 00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:09,647 Unlikely. 44 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:12,358 For weeks, I have been protecting his feelings, 45 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,361 looking after him like I've done our entire friendship. 46 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:19,657 If anybody should be apologizing around here, it's her. 47 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:23,035 She's kept this secret for 50 fucking years. 48 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,203 Ma Mac, come on. 49 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,913 You must have something to say about this. 50 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:28,124 Nope. I'ma make some chili. 51 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,168 I know that this is all very personal, 52 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:32,378 but it might help to just share your feelings. 53 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,547 I said... 54 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,550 I'ma make some chili. 55 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,259 - Okay. - Hey! 56 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,802 Damn paparazzi. 57 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:40,804 You, parasite. 58 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:44,765 I will end you, man. 59 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,559 I have very little to live for. 60 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,728 I don't wanna escalate this, but I will. 61 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,730 - A family lives here. - Jimmy? 62 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,898 - Hey. - Are you okay? 63 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,691 Yeah. Just keeping these animals at bay. 64 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,152 Holy shit! What happened to you? 65 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:59,113 - I gave myself a black eye. - Jimmy, why would you do that? 66 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,281 In solidarity with your dad. 67 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,241 Baby, I had to. I jammed my face into a tent pole. 68 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,493 Super hard. Harder than I intended to. 69 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,578 Vision was a little shaky. 70 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,955 It was touch and go for a minute, but it feels like it's good now. 71 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,582 - We're back in business, so... - Jimmy, don't... 72 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,835 I mean, you already did, but, like, don't do stuff like that, please. 73 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,587 Olive, your family means the world to me. 74 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,130 The world. I need you to know that. 75 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,090 Yeah, I do. 76 00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:20,176 Good. 77 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:23,971 Hey. Have you by any chance had more time to think about our situation? 78 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,765 'Cause at least for me, I keep thinking about 79 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,808 how insightful Brian Williams was about everything. 80 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,186 I was so shook by that. 81 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,356 Yeah. You know, 82 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,025 I just feel like there's a lot going on right now with Matthew and my dad, 83 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:40,863 and now Matthew's missing, so I should probably go and help find him. 84 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,907 But... 85 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,952 you should really ice that thing 'cause it looks kind of infected. 86 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:49,330 Baby, this is a classic avoidant attachment style. 87 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,249 Brian would want us to talk through this. 88 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,834 They gave him a Peabody, honey. 89 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,294 They don't give that to anybody. 90 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,675 I guess we're fucking doing this, man. I warned you. 91 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,343 Fuck Matthew and Ma Mac. 92 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,345 What the hell? 93 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,100 Hey. 94 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,811 Can you give me a hand with this? 95 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,188 That's theirs. 96 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:15,315 Piece of shit anyway. 97 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,985 Look, Woody, 98 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,153 I really hate seeing you like this. 99 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,323 It must have been so hard for you just holding all of that inside, 100 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,492 and I wish I had been there for you through all of it. 101 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,202 Well, I did try to tell you, honey. 102 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,204 I know. 103 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,416 In my defense, a lot of crazy shit comes out of your mouth. 104 00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:39,380 You know, I twisted myself into a fucking dreadlock keeping this secret, 105 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,090 so as not to hurt Matthew. 106 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:43,634 And did he think about that for one second? 107 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,761 No. He just thought of himself. 108 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,763 As usual. 109 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:51,601 So if he wants to run off to wherever he is and not talk to me, 110 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:54,521 then I don't need to stick around here and wait for him. 111 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,441 And don't even get me started on Ma Mac. 112 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,819 You know, Woody, 113 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:06,115 think about how hard it was for you to hold on to that secret for a few weeks. 114 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,742 And you didn't do it because you're an asshole, 115 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,078 you did it because you were trying to protect Matthew. 116 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:13,582 Ma Mac held on to that secret for decades. 117 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,460 Probably for the same reasons. 118 00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:26,802 Grab the kids. We're going. 119 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:27,888 And you know what? 120 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,265 I'm taking this chair. 121 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,268 Okay. 122 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,565 What's up? 123 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,401 No, I did... I didn't say anything. 124 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,782 - So do you wanna talk about... - Yeah. 125 00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:49,909 The whole "us being cousins but also dating" thing. 126 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,036 Yeah, sure, sounds like a blast. 127 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,372 Let's talk about it forever. 128 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,916 I mean, we're not technically, like-- 129 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,544 Yeah. No, right. Exactly. 130 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,379 - Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 131 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,589 I mean, I feel great about it. I'm not even thinking about it. 132 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,092 - Incest what? - You don't have to say incest. I... 133 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,094 - Olive! Kai! - I think maybe I should... 134 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,929 - I'm just gonna... Yeah. - Yeah, go ahead. 135 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,932 - Well, I'm really glad we talked. - Yeah. For sure. 136 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,017 Harrelsons! Wheels up! 137 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,103 Vámonos. 138 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,189 I'll catch you later. 139 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,192 Hey, can I give you a hand with the... 140 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,694 - I'm fine. - I have my car here. 141 00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:27,154 So I was thinking we could totally do the drive together. 142 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,739 We're going to the same place. 143 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,242 It just kinda feels like you're running away... 144 00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,660 - What? No. - ...and leaving me alone 145 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:33,995 at Matthew McConaughey's house. 146 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,913 Which would be awesome under normal circumstances. 147 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,750 No. It's just my dad needs to be with his family right now. 148 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:40,711 Okay. Well, then... 149 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,046 We'll talk soon. 150 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,882 - Okay. - Okay. 151 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,972 I can't believe the Harrelsons just left. 152 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,893 Really, Ma Mac? 153 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,728 Right now's a good time for chili? 154 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,062 People gotta eat. 155 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:03,650 I'm sorry. Are you really not feeling anything right now? 156 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,990 You know, people are getting mighty goddamned accustomed 157 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,826 to treating me like some dusty, old bird around here. 158 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,329 "Why'd she do this? Why didn't she do that?" 159 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:20,542 Like you all know how you'd stand in my shoes. 160 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,420 I just genuinely don't understand why you're not more worried about your son. 161 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:28,841 Matthew's a grown man who's out there feeling things. 162 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,428 Not some baby fell down a well. 163 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,722 Wherever the hell he went... 164 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,851 he went there for a reason. 165 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,205 - Is that Matthew McConaughey? - Shut up, Josh. 166 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:00,790 Why's he here? 167 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,751 I said shut up, Josh. 168 00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,462 Should I go talk to him? 169 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,007 If you ruin this for me, Josh, I swear to fucking God... 170 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,593 {\an8}First you're finding out that about your father, 171 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:17,056 but then to learn you and your best friend, Woody Harrelson, 172 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,433 have the same biological father. 173 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:22,770 - That's gotta be mind-blowing, no? - Holy shit. 174 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:26,107 Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson are brothers. 175 00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:29,277 {\an8}Certainly in light of everything going on, there will be increased interest 176 00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:31,404 {\an8}in McConaughey's rally this afternoon, 177 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,782 {\an8}where the actor will officially announce his gubernatorial run. 178 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,493 {\an8}We'll see you at the rally, motherfucker. 179 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,996 Yeah. 180 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,709 Feels good to be back on the road, right? 181 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,127 Yeah. 182 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,462 - Yeah, totally. - Totally. 183 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:49,755 How about some music? 184 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,299 - No. - No. 185 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,384 Audiobook? Podcast? 186 00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:54,510 Spoken word? 187 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,762 - No. - No? 188 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:00,099 Okay. No. You know what? 189 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,601 Fuck this. All right. Stop the bus. 190 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:02,727 - What? - Mom. 191 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,563 - Woody, stop the goddamn bus! - What? Hold! 192 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,568 Okay. All right. 193 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,528 You selfish assholes. 194 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:13,905 This trip was not for me. 195 00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:16,073 I was perfectly fine staying at home, 196 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,909 playing pickleball with Courteney Cox-Arquette 197 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:18,993 and Jake Gyllenhaal. 198 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:21,704 Have you seen that man in shorts? A gift from God. 199 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,664 - Relax. - Okay. You know what? No, you relax. 200 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,125 This whole thing started with you running from love. 201 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,085 And you for running from estrogen. 202 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,838 And me just going along with it to support you 203 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,381 because that's my fucking deal. 204 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:35,384 But this time something magic actually happened, okay. 205 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,970 Olive, you let your guard down. 206 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,973 You were vulnerable with Jimmy and your dad. 207 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,268 Kai, man, you were always our fearless one. 208 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:47,813 Now look at you, running away from your non-cousin's love. 209 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,482 - What? I'm sor-- Mom, that's not-- - No. Okay. 210 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,484 Woody, you were selfless. 211 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,653 You did everything you could to protect your best friend 212 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:54,779 and your brother. 213 00:10:54,780 --> 00:11:00,910 My point is, we became this wild, weird, wonderful family with the McConaugheys. 214 00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:04,163 It unlocked something in all of us and I am here for it, 215 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,998 so, just please, 216 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,794 can we be the family that lives on a bus, but because we're free? 217 00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,880 Not because we're running from something. 218 00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:14,091 Especially not the people we love. 219 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:18,887 Holy shit, Mom. 220 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,056 Yeah, you might be right. 221 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,940 If the kids weren't here, I would take you right now. 222 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:33,777 Really? 223 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,613 Here we go. 224 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,626 - Jimmy? - What happened? Did you get car sick? 225 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,128 I have ginger ale in the tent. 226 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:54,422 - It's warm, but-- Hey. Hey. - Hi. 227 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,215 - I'm so sorry. - Okay. 228 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,301 - Let's start a family. - No. 229 00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,594 We can adopt. 230 00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:00,596 - Shut up. - Okay. 231 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:04,724 - Okay, good. You're here. - I live here. 232 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,517 I'm sorry that I freaked out, 233 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,394 but it doesn't mean that I don't wanna make this work 234 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,478 because I really like you. 235 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,648 Now, the basis of a successful relationsh-- 236 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,153 Yeah, I really like you too. 237 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,613 Jesus Christ, get a room. 238 00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:19,615 - Sorry. Yep. - All right. 239 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:24,494 Yeah, don't you get all smoochy on me. 240 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:29,457 Ma Mac, I'm sorry everything went down the way it did. 241 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:33,461 I should've talked to Matthew myself and not done the sneaking around, 242 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:36,006 and the messing with the DNA. And I just... 243 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,591 I hope you'll be able to forgive me. 244 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,801 Don't get all weepy on me. 245 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,721 I forgave you the second I saw your wackadoodle bus 246 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,723 come creeping back up the driveway. 247 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:48,851 It just kills me to think you parked in the kitchen 248 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,854 worried about Matthew, cooking your feelings away. 249 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,649 What is it with you people and my chili? 250 00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:57,068 I'm not cooking my feelings away. 251 00:12:57,069 --> 00:13:00,071 I'm cooking because sometimes what a boy needs 252 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:02,698 is his mama and his favorite meal. 253 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,618 So, just get on to that rally 254 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:09,540 and buy us some goddamn time while I go get my son. 255 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,272 You only paid me to do one song. 256 00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:35,983 Well, then play that song again. 257 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,697 This is "Texas Sun" again. 258 00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:52,874 - Hi. - I am Matthew McConaughey's mother. 259 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:57,420 We all used to live here and I thought he might be here. 260 00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:59,213 No, not here. 261 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,381 Yes, he is. 262 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,008 All right, fine. He's here. 263 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,136 But please don't take him away. 264 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:16,190 I thought that you might be hungry. 265 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:21,278 Boy. 266 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,535 How'd you know I was here? 267 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:30,621 I'm your mother. 268 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:35,626 You and Big Mac built this tree house first week after we moved in here. 269 00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:39,587 You always liked to come when you wanted some alone time. 270 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,172 Same reason I'm here now, Mom. 271 00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:43,674 You got every right in the world to be mad at me. 272 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:44,759 You think so? 273 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,387 Lived my entire life thinking I was somebody else, 274 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:52,391 because you had to keep your goddamn secret. 275 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,644 I deserve that. 276 00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:58,565 After you grew out of being a little boy, I wanted to tell you. 277 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,444 Did he know? 278 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,992 Yeah, he knew. 279 00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:14,706 Every time that we would split and then remarry, 280 00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:19,211 Big Mac never once asked me about our time apart. 281 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,922 We didn't have any secrets. 282 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:24,466 So... 283 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:29,262 I had to tell him about Clive and me. 284 00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:30,848 And, man, he just... 285 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,475 stormed out that front door. 286 00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:38,313 And I thought, "God, I am never gonna see that man again." 287 00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:43,151 But he came back after about a week. 288 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,236 And you know why? 289 00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:48,282 Because he chose love. 290 00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:52,452 Actually he chose you. 291 00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:57,207 He chose his son. 292 00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,544 Clive may be your baby daddy, 293 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:04,590 but Big Mac is your father. 294 00:16:07,885 --> 00:16:09,136 All my life I've been... 295 00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:15,142 following his footsteps, you know. 296 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:20,022 Why don't you just keep on walking in 'em? 297 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:24,776 Sure do look good on you. 298 00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,627 Is that Jack Daniel's in here? 299 00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:45,339 That's one secret I'll never give up. 300 00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:51,010 Okay, Matthew's right behind me, I swear. 301 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:53,012 We just need a few more minutes. 302 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,515 The congestion at the traffic... 303 00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:57,016 Oh, good. Help has arrived. 304 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,435 Look, I am sorry that I've been a pain in the rear. I... 305 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,063 No, no, no. A pain in my rear is something I enjoy occasionally. 306 00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,606 Because I am a modern woman 307 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:05,900 and sometimes I have a boyfriend who likes to do that. 308 00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:07,985 You are not a pain in my rear. 309 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,694 You are a parasite. 310 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:10,947 You are a little freak. 311 00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:12,574 You're cancer. You're a rash. 312 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,159 Are you okay? 313 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,410 I'm trying to help here. 314 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:20,248 I'm asking can we just stall a tiny bit more? 315 00:17:20,249 --> 00:17:23,584 How about you stall? I am gonna update my LinkedIn profile. 316 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:24,752 Move! 317 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:35,931 This has been fun, but I think I'd like to go home now. 318 00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,352 It's about damn time. 319 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,564 Leon Bridges, everybody. 320 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,903 He put in a full day. Hey, everybody. 321 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:51,988 How you all doing? 322 00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:53,740 We've been better. 323 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:55,825 Where is Matthew? 324 00:17:55,826 --> 00:18:00,913 Yeah, well, look, y'all, Matthew is coming. 325 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,290 But before he comes up, 326 00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:06,335 I just want to acknowledge the elephant in the room. 327 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,880 - Not about you. - I know you all saw that punch 328 00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:12,008 and you probably had a lot of thoughts about it. 329 00:18:12,009 --> 00:18:16,888 Boo! Get the hippie off the stage. 330 00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:19,223 And I'm not trying to explain it away. 331 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,142 But I... I should've told him sooner. 332 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:26,023 But Matthew McConaughey is a passionate man. 333 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:33,946 He takes things like family and friendship and honor 334 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:37,116 - and the truth very seriously. - Hey. 335 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:43,415 And so, when you saw him punch this unnaturally handsome face on TV, 336 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:50,671 we had just found some stuff out about our family that was complicated and messy. 337 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,717 And I wasn't as honest with my friend. 338 00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:56,303 My brother. 339 00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:04,269 Well, here's the man, the myth, the legend himself. 340 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:07,648 Matthew McConaughey. 341 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:15,363 - You're my lighthouse. - I'm your lighthouse. 342 00:19:15,364 --> 00:19:16,864 I love you, brother. 343 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:19,200 And for the record, I just want you all to know 344 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:22,078 that I can beat the shit out of this scrawny-ass, 345 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:24,247 all-chest no-calves, 346 00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:27,750 soon-to-be-governor of Texas, any time I want. 347 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:31,296 I was lucky to get that right hook in there when I did before you got me. 348 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,090 Thank you, Woody. 349 00:19:33,841 --> 00:19:34,924 All right. 350 00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:36,008 Yeah! 351 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:38,177 You know, when I told Woody, I said, 352 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,972 "I think I'm gonna run for governor," Woody said, "Are you high?" 353 00:19:40,973 --> 00:19:42,765 I said, "No, sir, I am not high." 354 00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:45,101 He said, "Well, you should get high." 355 00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:46,185 What did you say? 356 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:49,021 "Stupidest thing I've ever heard you say you are gonna do." 357 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:50,523 But here I am anyway. 358 00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:51,774 You know, last few months 359 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:55,278 I've been thinking a whole lot about family and what that means. 360 00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:58,948 Family is more than just those who we're connected to through our bloodline. 361 00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:01,618 - Hear, hear. - Sometimes family is 362 00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:04,413 those people that make us feel at home. 363 00:20:04,997 --> 00:20:06,789 Those people that stick by us 364 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,667 in this little journey we're all going through called life. 365 00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:11,378 And when I talk about family... 366 00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:15,924 I'm talking about Texas. 367 00:20:17,134 --> 00:20:21,805 The way that we take care of ourselves, but we still lend a helping hand. 368 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:25,391 So if y'all believe in that, then I would be humbled, 369 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,310 I'd be honored, and I'd be damn excited 370 00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:32,649 to represent this family of Texas as your next governor. 371 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,488 All right. 372 00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:42,117 - Here we go. - McConaughey! 373 00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:48,332 - McConaughey! - McConaughey! 374 00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,127 Thank you. 375 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,801 Found you, motherfucker. 376 00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:03,304 Yeah, but you didn't think it through, did ya? 377 00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:06,475 Not so tough with all of these people around, are you? 378 00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:10,604 Hey! 379 00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:24,158 {\an8}Yeah, baby. We got this, Dan. 380 00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:26,702 Yeah. Are you guys psyched? 381 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,913 Virginia. Beautiful. 382 00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:30,457 It's happening, everybody. 383 00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:32,876 Come on. Here we go. 384 00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:35,503 Thank you. Thank you. 385 00:21:35,504 --> 00:21:36,672 Well, thanks, gents. 386 00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,049 How about it, buddy? 387 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,551 We in a moment? 388 00:21:41,552 --> 00:21:43,094 {\an8}- We are. - So as you can see, 389 00:21:43,095 --> 00:21:46,514 {\an8}even if every last remaining vote lands for McConaughey... 390 00:21:46,515 --> 00:21:49,851 {\an8}it's still essentially a mathematical impossibility for him 391 00:21:49,852 --> 00:21:51,894 {\an8}- to dig out of the hole that he's in. - Wow. 392 00:21:51,895 --> 00:21:54,730 {\an8}That hole famously started at his very first rally 393 00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:56,358 {\an8}when he attacked that older gentlemen. 394 00:21:59,862 --> 00:22:01,696 They look much older on TV. 395 00:22:01,697 --> 00:22:04,408 {\an8}This campaign had rage issues from day one. 396 00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:08,786 {\an8}And let's not forget his run-ins with the police, 397 00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:12,498 {\an8}being disrespectful, even charges of disorderly conduct, 398 00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,333 - evading arrest. - Hey, it's early. 399 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:15,960 We don't know how this will shake out. 400 00:22:15,961 --> 00:22:17,170 It's not early. 401 00:22:17,171 --> 00:22:19,547 93% of precincts are reporting. 402 00:22:19,548 --> 00:22:21,257 Those numbers ain't real. 403 00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:23,509 I know AI when I see it. 404 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:27,305 If you don't believe in miracles, miracles don't believe in you. 405 00:22:27,306 --> 00:22:28,514 I feel good about this. 406 00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:31,726 {\an8}Although McConaughey has as much chance at winning tonight 407 00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:34,520 {\an8}as I do winning The Great British Baking Show and I don't bake. 408 00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:38,149 {\an8}We're not gonna have nearly all the results until 6:30 a.m. 409 00:22:38,150 --> 00:22:40,985 Then we will be here 'cause we're not going anywhere. 410 00:22:40,986 --> 00:22:42,904 - We're not? - We're not. 411 00:22:42,905 --> 00:22:44,488 Well, I am. I'm done. 412 00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:46,616 I'd like to say that it was a pleasure, but it was not. 413 00:22:46,617 --> 00:22:49,911 It was just an endless barrage of egomaniacal 414 00:22:49,912 --> 00:22:52,496 and borderline sociopathic behavior from both of you. 415 00:22:52,497 --> 00:22:56,125 So I'm leaving immediately from here to a holistic retreat in Bali, 416 00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:57,668 for which I will be sending you the bill. 417 00:22:57,669 --> 00:22:59,420 And I hope they give me ayahuasca there 418 00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:02,715 so I can just throw up so hard that it turns my guts inside out 419 00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:05,343 and I turn into a big, old pile of blood and goo. 420 00:23:05,344 --> 00:23:09,805 They'll say finally I look on the outside how I feel on the inside. 421 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:12,558 - And that's why-- - Okay, you know what, enough. 422 00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,685 I've let this slide for too long. 423 00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:19,524 When you are rude, you diminish and you make decent people feel small. 424 00:23:19,525 --> 00:23:21,442 Do not talk to Matthew that way. 425 00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:24,154 You know what? Don't even talk to Woody that way. 426 00:23:24,947 --> 00:23:26,615 Get the fuck out of our victory party. 427 00:23:28,825 --> 00:23:30,117 - What are you doing? - I'm sorry. 428 00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:33,455 You are sending mixed signals. 429 00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:38,376 That was tremendous. 430 00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:41,212 - Thanks, Woody. - I was just about to step up to her. 431 00:23:41,213 --> 00:23:42,964 I'm glad one of us did. 432 00:23:42,965 --> 00:23:45,132 On that note, come on, kids. 433 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,009 They're tired. Let me take them home. 434 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:48,094 I know. 435 00:23:48,095 --> 00:23:51,348 And take the chance of missing out on the comeback of the millennium? 436 00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:53,683 - Love you. - Love you. 437 00:23:53,684 --> 00:23:56,937 Okay, everybody, after-party in my room! 438 00:23:57,563 --> 00:23:59,147 Come on! 706! 439 00:24:00,065 --> 00:24:01,900 706! 440 00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:05,570 Come on, buddy. 441 00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:09,073 Buckle up for the greatest comeback since Robert Downey Jr. 442 00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,075 All right. 443 00:24:15,998 --> 00:24:17,582 Well, I don't think we need a recount. 444 00:24:17,583 --> 00:24:20,626 I thought you'd at least won Bandera County. 445 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:22,880 Man, I don't get the state of this state. 446 00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:25,298 Hey. 447 00:24:25,299 --> 00:24:28,343 I guess you can hit this now. 448 00:24:30,846 --> 00:24:32,222 Guess I can. 449 00:24:40,147 --> 00:24:41,355 There it is. 450 00:24:41,356 --> 00:24:43,399 I have not seen that in a while. 451 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,068 Seems we have a little time on our hands, Brother Wood. 452 00:24:46,069 --> 00:24:47,945 What if we went to the South of France? 453 00:24:47,946 --> 00:24:49,155 Have a little wine? 454 00:24:49,156 --> 00:24:51,157 Wine, sunshine and song. 455 00:24:51,158 --> 00:24:52,533 I love that idea, 456 00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:56,663 but I was thinking maybe you and I take a road trip. 457 00:24:57,748 --> 00:24:58,998 Possibly Colorado. 458 00:24:58,999 --> 00:25:00,082 Well, what's in Colorado? 459 00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:01,959 - BSP. - BSP? 460 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,253 Boulder State Penitentiary. 461 00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:06,923 I've looked at the way I've handled my life 462 00:25:06,924 --> 00:25:10,259 and my family and I wanna find some answers from the source. 463 00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:15,140 The guy who got it all started for me and you, 464 00:25:15,849 --> 00:25:17,059 biologically speaking. 465 00:25:20,270 --> 00:25:21,395 You wanna go see... 466 00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:22,564 Our dad. 467 00:25:29,655 --> 00:25:30,989 Deal. 468 00:25:34,493 --> 00:25:36,453 Do you mind if we turn this down? 469 00:25:37,287 --> 00:25:39,664 Yeah, kinda, sorta. We already talked about it. 470 00:25:39,665 --> 00:25:41,457 You got your window. I got my Freon. 471 00:25:41,458 --> 00:25:43,209 I never agreed. 472 00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:45,378 Dude, you nodded. 473 00:25:45,379 --> 00:25:47,338 - I didn't nod. I... - Yeah, you nodded. 474 00:25:47,339 --> 00:25:49,090 I shrugged my shoulders actually. 475 00:25:49,091 --> 00:25:50,424 Hey, I just had a thought. 476 00:25:50,425 --> 00:25:53,553 You know, last time you had a bright idea, I got bucked off a bull. 477 00:25:53,554 --> 00:25:54,763 - Forget it. - Woodrow. 478 00:25:55,389 --> 00:25:58,558 My dad slept with your mom. Well, there must have been others. 479 00:25:58,559 --> 00:26:01,143 - You mean... - Maybe we have siblings. 480 00:26:01,144 --> 00:26:05,274 Dude, I don't know if I've got the bandwidth for a franchise right now.