1 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,160 He was in the basement. 2 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:21,080 He even ripped my shirt, 3 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,460 and they still didn't believe me. 4 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,750 They never believe me. 5 00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:28,340 They don't even believe me about you. 6 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,590 You believe me, don't you, Abigail? 7 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:50,170 When I was a kid, my brother taught me how to spot faces in clouds. 8 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,500 I could pull a face out of a lot of things. Water... 9 00:01:54,050 --> 00:01:55,170 mud, leaves... 10 00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:58,130 wallpaper. 11 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,430 You know, I get a little older, I start messing around 12 00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:06,600 with liquor and drugs and... 13 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,440 I was going down all the wrong routes, you know? 14 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,270 So, uh... 15 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,070 I joined the service, 16 00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,070 you know, thinking it would straight me out. 17 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:17,860 And it did. 18 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,620 Two thousand and four, my second tour in Iraq, 19 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:26,410 my company secured the ruins of a bombed-out hospital in Baghdad, 20 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:27,500 and... 21 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:31,830 We came across this little Iraqi girl. 22 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,300 I mean, she was burnt up, dead. You know. 23 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,630 See, the thing is, most folks don't know what happen to... 24 00:02:41,550 --> 00:02:44,430 Most folks don't know what happens to eyeballs in a fire. 25 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,680 In the right kind of fire, they... 26 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,600 they can melt. 27 00:02:52,730 --> 00:02:55,400 Like runny eggs on black skin. 28 00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:56,570 You know? 29 00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:57,650 And... 30 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,200 I mean, that fucked me up pretty bad. 31 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,700 Um... 32 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,410 anyway, six months later I'm back in the States, 33 00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:10,620 and pretty soon I start seeing that little dead girl's face everywhere. 34 00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:14,210 It's in the clouds, it's in the dark, on fabric. 35 00:03:14,290 --> 00:03:15,960 It's fucking everywhere. 36 00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:17,050 You know? 37 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,880 That little girl's charred body and... 38 00:03:22,430 --> 00:03:23,680 melted eyes... 39 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,180 running down her cheeks. 40 00:03:26,470 --> 00:03:29,930 And pretty soon, before I know it, I'm using again. 41 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,820 So one night, I drop a little acid and there she is. 42 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,820 I mean, it's growing out of the goddamn wallpaper, you know? 43 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,530 I mean, and she's staring at me. 44 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,870 Eyeless even, I can tell. 45 00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:48,240 So I grab this knitting needle... 46 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:49,830 you know, and... 47 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,210 all I can think about was how to... 48 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:53,710 how to make it stop. 49 00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,290 Seemed like a good idea at the time. 50 00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:01,630 So, then I'm blind. 51 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,470 But I mean, like, I-can't-see-anything blind, right? 52 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:08,970 Thing is, is I still see her. 53 00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:10,980 I can't see anything else. 54 00:04:11,390 --> 00:04:12,430 I see her. 55 00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:15,690 Crispy kid with the runny-egg eyes. 56 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,240 Twenty-four/seven, I see her face. 57 00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:26,910 Shit, I see it now. 58 00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:28,740 You know? 59 00:04:29,290 --> 00:04:30,290 But... 60 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,120 I'm here. 61 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:34,790 Two months I've been clean. 62 00:04:34,870 --> 00:04:36,170 It's a little too late. 63 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,340 I leaned on my habit to get rid of that face 64 00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:43,510 and my habit made sure that I never would. 65 00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:50,310 That's why I'm here. 66 00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:54,810 Two months. 67 00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,610 Well, thanks, Gordon. 68 00:05:00,690 --> 00:05:01,860 We're glad you're here. 69 00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:06,320 Any of our newbies want to share? 70 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,660 Luke, how about you? 71 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,170 And follow that? You kidding me? 72 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,930 Would anyone like to take a newcomer chip? 73 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,930 How about 30 days clean? 74 00:05:36,140 --> 00:05:37,140 Sixty? 75 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,100 Ninety? 76 00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:49,950 - Thank you. - You are welcome. 77 00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:58,330 Um... 78 00:05:58,420 --> 00:05:59,960 Luke, um, addict. 79 00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,130 - Hi, Luke. - Hi. 80 00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:07,050 I actually don't know what I want to say here. 81 00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:10,510 You know, I've never had this much time before. 82 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:11,930 You know, 90 days. 83 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,640 Um... 84 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,650 So, here goes. 85 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,400 One. 86 00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:29,610 Two. 87 00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:32,620 Three. 88 00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:34,950 Four. 89 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,120 Five. 90 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,460 Six. 91 00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:48,550 Seven. 92 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,260 That's him, the man I saw in the basement. 93 00:06:54,890 --> 00:06:57,770 Well, your mother and I searched the entire basement, pal, 94 00:06:58,020 --> 00:06:59,640 and there's nothing down there. 95 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:04,190 It's normal for kids to have imaginary friends and nightmares. 96 00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:05,270 But... 97 00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:07,440 Go ahead, I'm listening. 98 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,320 This house is bad, Dad. It's bad. 99 00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:13,910 Boy oh boy, we could have a heck of a yard sale, guys. 100 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,660 Yeah. 101 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,750 Has anyone seen Nellie? 102 00:07:21,210 --> 00:07:22,290 That's weird. 103 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,420 - You know, she was just here. - Oh. 104 00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:27,090 It's okay, I just thought you might like these cool old buttons 105 00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:28,550 - I found upstairs. - Buttons? 106 00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:29,970 You got me. 107 00:07:30,470 --> 00:07:32,760 My little Houdini. Look. 108 00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:37,470 Whoa. 109 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:38,970 Can I have the hat? 110 00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:42,890 Um... 111 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,900 I think it's too big for you, honey. 112 00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:47,150 I don't know. He'll grow into it. 113 00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:51,650 That is a big boy hat, all right. 114 00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:52,860 You want this? 115 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,160 Well, you are a big boy now. 116 00:07:55,570 --> 00:07:56,910 But you know, big boys, 117 00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:59,910 they know the difference between what's real and what's imaginary. 118 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,500 So what do you say, champ? 119 00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:11,340 You like it? 120 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:12,760 He loves it. 121 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,050 Well, how do you know that? 122 00:08:14,470 --> 00:08:15,510 It's a twin thing. 123 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:16,850 You two go and play. 124 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,020 So much up there. 125 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:29,780 Nice. 126 00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,780 I'm having a total déjà vu right now. 127 00:08:34,530 --> 00:08:35,530 What do you see? 128 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,490 Two tables... advancing colors. 129 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,750 Four reading areas. 130 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,750 Casegoods and leather. 131 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:51,420 A mom and dad sitting in reading chairs that face each other. 132 00:08:52,210 --> 00:08:54,260 Smaller ones for two... 133 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,720 no, three kids... 134 00:08:56,890 --> 00:08:58,930 who share an open center for play. 135 00:09:00,890 --> 00:09:02,600 Kids' books are on the lower shelf 136 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:05,730 so even the little boy with the wheelchair can reach his favorites. 137 00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:07,480 Wow. 138 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,940 That got really specific. 139 00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:13,030 Well... 140 00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:16,450 Casegoods and leather, though, for sure. 141 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,830 And I see an accident waiting to happen if you don't pull those down. 142 00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:25,040 Bodies swinging back and forth right there. 143 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,120 Yeah. 144 00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:27,460 I'll get to it. 145 00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:33,430 I must be allergic to the fourth step. 146 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:38,470 Every time I do one, I break out in track marks. 147 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:42,010 Good. If you liked it you'd be doing it wrong. 148 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,600 "A fearless moral inventory." 149 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,560 We're only as sick as our secrets. 150 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:47,890 Okay, well... 151 00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:50,020 Let's see. 152 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,230 I've burned Shirley for thousands of dollars. 153 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:55,440 Lied to Theo like it was my job. 154 00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:57,950 Stolen from Steve on countless occasions. 155 00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,450 I broke Nellie's heart. 156 00:09:59,530 --> 00:10:00,570 Missed her wedding. 157 00:10:01,580 --> 00:10:03,990 I've even robbed my asshole of a father. 158 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,290 Though that one doesn't exactly keep me up at night. 159 00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:08,750 Try stealing morphine from your mother on her deathbed. 160 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,420 Probably would've but she didn't really give me a chance. 161 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,130 At least you have other family, you know? 162 00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:16,010 - Someone you can make amends to. - Yeah. 163 00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:18,930 But I've done some shitty things, Joey. 164 00:10:19,130 --> 00:10:20,130 Who hasn't? 165 00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:22,010 I've been on the streets since I was 13. 166 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:24,430 There aren't enough pages in that notebook for all my shit. 167 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:27,680 I never know how far back to go. Like, do I cover high school? 168 00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:31,230 Like stealing cash out of my aunt's wallet for beer, 169 00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:35,690 or do I just start with "I briefly lived in a haunted house". 170 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,490 Hey. 171 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:43,910 You okay? 172 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,700 Yeah. 173 00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:48,370 Something's bothering you tonight. 174 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:51,000 What could possibly be bothering me in a place like this? 175 00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:53,670 You're nine months clean, Joey. 176 00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:56,000 Nine months. 177 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,840 Your sobriety, it's full term. 178 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,260 It's a fully-formed little baby anywhere. 179 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,930 Nine months clean is a palace. 180 00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:05,890 Ten o'clock. Lights out. 181 00:11:07,390 --> 00:11:08,770 Seriously, what's wrong? 182 00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:17,530 How's the step? 183 00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:20,400 You know. 184 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,410 Kicking my ass. 185 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,030 Fourth one always does. 186 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,620 I meant to tell you, your brother called earlier. 187 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,040 Steve called? 188 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,130 - Yeah, wanted to know if you were here. - That's typical. 189 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,840 You should call him back tomorrow. Tell him about your chip. 190 00:11:36,290 --> 00:11:37,670 Yeah, I don't know. 191 00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:40,970 He won't believe it. 192 00:11:41,930 --> 00:11:43,050 They never do. 193 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,480 - It's kind of their thing. - I don't know. 194 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,270 That sister of yours, the one that dropped you off, 195 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:50,680 she seemed to believe in you. Tons, actually. 196 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:51,850 Yeah, well... 197 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,770 It's a twin thing. 198 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:55,440 Ten o'clock, Joey. 199 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,190 Yeah, yeah. Back to the ladies' cell block. 200 00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:05,160 - Later. - Goodnight. 201 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,320 Go. 202 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:56,420 Luke. You ready? 203 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,960 Ready. 204 00:12:58,380 --> 00:13:01,250 I'm sending down three buttons. You ready? 205 00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:02,460 I said I'm ready. 206 00:13:09,010 --> 00:13:10,260 Did you get 'em? 207 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,890 I got two. 208 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:15,190 I sent three. 209 00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:16,690 Well, I only got two. 210 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,360 It must be stuck. 211 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,530 Maybe we can drop some other stuff to shake it loose. 212 00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:23,730 Like what? 213 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,360 There were some rocks in the garden, pretty ones. 214 00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:29,320 Abigail showed me one in... 215 00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:34,870 Clara. 216 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,000 Clara. 217 00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:43,960 Was somebody else up there? 218 00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:45,710 Like who? 219 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,590 Mrs. Dudley or Theo? 220 00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:53,010 You're scared. 221 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:54,520 No, I'm not. 222 00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:56,270 - I can tell. - How? 223 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,690 Because I'm scared. 224 00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:12,580 Nellie, still down there? 225 00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:13,540 I'm here. 226 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:14,660 I was right. 227 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,200 There's nothing. 228 00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:18,830 It was probably just Theo... 229 00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:20,380 messing around. 230 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,680 Nellie! 231 00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:39,890 Jesus. 232 00:14:40,350 --> 00:14:43,150 Seven a.m. Breakfast in ten minutes. 233 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,040 As you've all heard by now... 234 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,440 Joey chose to leave treatment in the middle of the night. 235 00:15:01,210 --> 00:15:03,670 This is what happens when we forget why we're here. 236 00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:06,476 I know we're all going to have a lot of feelings about that. 237 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:07,880 Some more than others. 238 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,180 This is a moment we should all pay attention to, 239 00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:12,720 especially you newbies here. 240 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:16,220 There's a reason why the program encourages us 241 00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:18,730 to stay out of personal relationships the first year. 242 00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:20,640 We're not in a relationship. 243 00:15:20,730 --> 00:15:22,230 Any kind of relationship. 244 00:15:22,810 --> 00:15:24,980 We can get real close to people in recovery. 245 00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:26,070 We're friends. 246 00:15:26,150 --> 00:15:29,030 How the fuck do you expect people to get through this without friends? 247 00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:29,950 We don't. 248 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,860 One of the biggest issues that can sometimes happen and just... 249 00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:33,950 sometimes... 250 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,330 and I'm not saying this about you, Luke, is we can 251 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:40,830 start to hang our recovery on someone else instead of on ourselves. 252 00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:44,460 And you lean too hard on another addict? Shit. 253 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,250 We didn't all end up in here 'cause we're so reliable. 254 00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:52,050 - Luke. - I'm fine. 255 00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:53,220 Luke. 256 00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:55,800 I'm just getting some air. 257 00:15:56,930 --> 00:15:57,930 Fuck. 258 00:16:26,330 --> 00:16:27,330 Luke. 259 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,960 Luke, you okay in there? 260 00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:48,546 Hi, this is Nell. Please leave a message after the beep. 261 00:16:48,570 --> 00:16:51,480 Hey, hey, it's, uh, it's me. Uh... 262 00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:55,570 I... I had a moment. Um... 263 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,700 Last night, one of those. 264 00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:01,540 You know what I'm talking about. 265 00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:05,040 I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. 266 00:17:08,290 --> 00:17:12,960 I, uh, I don't have a phone... and you won't reach me at the center. 267 00:17:13,050 --> 00:17:16,470 But, you can call there and leave me a message there. 268 00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:18,050 I should be back by tonight. 269 00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:19,800 I just have to find a friend. 270 00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:24,020 And don't... don't worry. I'm fine. 271 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,810 I just... 272 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,400 I just wanted to be sure you're okay. 273 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,400 You know. 274 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,320 Yeah, okay. 275 00:23:03,270 --> 00:23:05,150 Fuck you. 276 00:23:07,570 --> 00:23:08,950 Learn how to drive. 277 00:23:48,820 --> 00:23:49,820 Hey. 278 00:23:50,650 --> 00:23:51,650 Hey. 279 00:23:53,410 --> 00:23:55,030 How'd you know where to find me? 280 00:23:57,410 --> 00:23:58,660 I know your spots. 281 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:03,290 Hey, hey, it's okay. 282 00:24:03,370 --> 00:24:04,790 Come on, it's okay. 283 00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:08,550 I found her. We're coming back. We can be there in 20 minutes. 284 00:24:08,630 --> 00:24:11,800 This isn't a hotel, Luke. You know that... we're full up 285 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,470 and we need these beds for people who actually want to get well. 286 00:24:14,590 --> 00:24:16,656 You run, you give up your spot. That's the way it is. 287 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,350 Please, Paige. Please. 288 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,560 Your best bet is gonna be a shelter. 289 00:24:20,930 --> 00:24:24,650 That's the last place she should be. She'll cop, she's already... 290 00:24:26,690 --> 00:24:29,900 Look, I need a place where she can come down safe. 291 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,450 Ah, fuck, Luke. I... 292 00:24:34,910 --> 00:24:35,910 I'm sorry. 293 00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:38,490 But you did it to yourselves. 294 00:24:39,490 --> 00:24:40,490 Fuck. 295 00:24:44,210 --> 00:24:46,630 She's right. I knew the rules when I left. 296 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:50,840 You okay? 297 00:24:52,420 --> 00:24:53,420 Yeah. 298 00:24:54,430 --> 00:24:57,050 Just, I slept on it funny last night. 299 00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:01,100 I told you not to follow me. Why did you? 300 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:07,600 I'm sorry. 301 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,700 It's just, you gotta go back. 302 00:25:15,820 --> 00:25:18,120 Just 'cause I messed up, doesn't mean you have to. 303 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,280 I got an idea. 304 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,580 - If I can get you a motel, then... - Do you have money? 305 00:25:25,710 --> 00:25:27,460 - No. - Can you get money? 306 00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:31,630 - What about your sisters or your brother? - No. 307 00:25:31,670 --> 00:25:33,210 Do you think you can call them? 308 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:34,720 I'll get some. Okay? 309 00:25:35,930 --> 00:25:39,800 And I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna get us a place to stay tonight. 310 00:25:40,810 --> 00:25:41,890 Tomorrow, too. 311 00:25:42,350 --> 00:25:44,060 And I'm gonna get you clean again. 312 00:25:45,020 --> 00:25:47,980 And I'm gonna be right here, right there with you. 313 00:25:49,310 --> 00:25:51,360 All the way, just like you were for me, okay? 314 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,240 And we're gonna find a new place. 315 00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:57,700 I promise. 316 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,250 You got anything left? 317 00:26:11,630 --> 00:26:12,630 Yeah. 318 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:22,930 That should get us most of the way. 319 00:26:29,690 --> 00:26:31,360 Come on. 320 00:26:34,530 --> 00:26:36,150 You got some balls, man. 321 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:38,200 How long do you wait this morning? 322 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,570 Before hopping the wall? 323 00:26:39,910 --> 00:26:40,910 Oh, not long. 324 00:26:41,530 --> 00:26:43,530 I still can't believe you came after me. 325 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,080 Well, my sister kind of told me to. 326 00:26:48,710 --> 00:26:50,710 No, not really. She... 327 00:26:52,710 --> 00:26:56,210 We're kind of in each other's heads. It's been like that since we were kids. 328 00:26:57,170 --> 00:26:59,550 It's a twin thing. 329 00:27:00,090 --> 00:27:01,430 You know, once I... 330 00:27:02,010 --> 00:27:03,220 Once I broke my foot... 331 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,560 and... 332 00:27:05,770 --> 00:27:08,390 and Nell called me a few minutes later, and she was just... 333 00:27:09,100 --> 00:27:12,770 she was just watching TV and her ankle just went nuts. 334 00:27:13,270 --> 00:27:14,690 It hurt like hell. 335 00:27:14,770 --> 00:27:16,900 She had no idea why. She iced it for an hour. 336 00:27:16,980 --> 00:27:18,690 - Bullshit. - No, it's a true story. 337 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,910 You know, there are... 338 00:27:25,830 --> 00:27:28,290 There are moments you kind of remind me of her. 339 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:31,920 And she... 340 00:27:33,670 --> 00:27:36,130 You know, she's always believed in me. 341 00:27:36,210 --> 00:27:37,210 Not... 342 00:27:37,550 --> 00:27:39,670 The rest of the family, not so much, but... 343 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,840 the only other person that believed in me like that was you. 344 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,220 So yeah, of course I came. 345 00:27:47,890 --> 00:27:49,850 It's what she would've done for me. 346 00:27:54,650 --> 00:27:55,980 Fuck. 347 00:27:56,860 --> 00:27:57,860 You okay? 348 00:27:59,030 --> 00:28:00,030 Yeah, I'm... 349 00:28:00,820 --> 00:28:02,280 I don't know, I'm cold. 350 00:28:03,990 --> 00:28:06,910 Listen, when we get there, just hang back. 351 00:28:07,490 --> 00:28:08,990 I don't want her to see your eyes. 352 00:28:09,910 --> 00:28:11,410 - She'll know, okay? - Yeah. 353 00:28:13,540 --> 00:28:15,580 She always fucking knows. 354 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,240 - Luke. - Hey, Leigh. 355 00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:43,700 How you doing? 356 00:28:45,410 --> 00:28:48,660 This is a... surprise. 357 00:28:49,540 --> 00:28:50,660 Ah, what are you... 358 00:28:52,250 --> 00:28:53,620 - How are you? - I'm good. 359 00:28:53,910 --> 00:28:57,960 Ah, I'm really, really good. Ninety days good, in fact. 360 00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,130 That's really great. 361 00:29:00,380 --> 00:29:02,010 I can tell, you look different. 362 00:29:02,550 --> 00:29:03,630 Thank you. 363 00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:07,850 So good, I got a day pass. Is Steve here? 364 00:29:08,180 --> 00:29:09,350 No, he isn't. 365 00:29:09,430 --> 00:29:11,600 Is he... Well, is he coming back soon? 366 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,850 I just kinda need to talk to him about something. 367 00:29:13,930 --> 00:29:15,140 He didn't tell you. 368 00:29:15,730 --> 00:29:16,730 Tell me what? 369 00:29:17,020 --> 00:29:19,270 No, Steve is not coming back soon. Maybe ever. 370 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:20,780 He doesn't live here anymore. 371 00:29:21,230 --> 00:29:22,860 Wait, what? 372 00:29:24,070 --> 00:29:25,450 We separated a month ago. 373 00:29:27,990 --> 00:29:29,120 Why? 374 00:29:29,910 --> 00:29:31,910 I would really rather not get into that. 375 00:29:36,540 --> 00:29:37,540 Okay. 376 00:29:41,420 --> 00:29:43,460 Listen, I'm... I'm clean. 377 00:29:44,590 --> 00:29:47,550 - Ninety days, like I said. - And I said that's great. 378 00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:52,850 - Leigh, I need to borrow some money. - Jesus, Luke. 379 00:29:52,930 --> 00:29:54,680 No, it's not like that. I just... 380 00:29:54,770 --> 00:29:57,350 We have been through this over and over. 381 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,310 It's for a hotel. Or if you could just let us stay here... 382 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,900 You know you can't do that. You know that. 383 00:30:04,740 --> 00:30:05,740 Okay. 384 00:30:07,530 --> 00:30:08,990 Okay, can you... 385 00:30:10,070 --> 00:30:12,580 Can you just give me Steve's address then, please? 386 00:30:13,450 --> 00:30:14,830 I think he's out of town. 387 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,670 I mean, even if he wasn't. 388 00:30:20,290 --> 00:30:22,590 I am proud of you, I am. 389 00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:24,960 But you have to talk to Steven. 390 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,550 You know what he's going to say. 391 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,510 I really can't deal with this right now. 392 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,600 Things are bad enough. 393 00:30:33,310 --> 00:30:35,020 - You're not serious. - I am. 394 00:30:36,390 --> 00:30:37,990 They'll hang a toy phone around your neck 395 00:30:38,020 --> 00:30:40,230 and you have to wear it all day, maybe longer. 396 00:30:40,310 --> 00:30:42,060 Like a child's toy phone? 397 00:30:42,150 --> 00:30:45,320 Yes, it's like The Scarlet Letter for violating the phone rule. 398 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:49,070 Improper use of a phone. They catch you, you wear the phone, like 399 00:30:49,150 --> 00:30:51,950 "Let this be a chilling example to the others." 400 00:30:53,330 --> 00:30:54,330 You... 401 00:30:54,700 --> 00:30:58,710 You can't make calls in the first 30 days unless a caseworker signs off, so... 402 00:30:58,790 --> 00:31:02,630 - Well, that's a little harsh, isn't it? - It's not as harsh as an overdose. 403 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,130 I mean, addicts, we're... 404 00:31:05,670 --> 00:31:07,970 we're pretty slippery in early recovery. 405 00:31:08,050 --> 00:31:10,380 That's why they confiscate our cell phones, you know, 406 00:31:10,890 --> 00:31:12,890 in case someone was to call a connection. 407 00:31:12,970 --> 00:31:13,970 Yeah. 408 00:31:14,050 --> 00:31:15,720 What if you want to call your mom? 409 00:31:15,810 --> 00:31:18,520 For some folks in there, their connection is their mom. 410 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:19,770 - Truly. - It's true. 411 00:31:25,190 --> 00:31:26,480 So... 412 00:31:27,030 --> 00:31:28,530 Luke tells me you're a writer. 413 00:31:30,070 --> 00:31:32,360 He did? I'm surprised he mentioned it. 414 00:31:33,070 --> 00:31:34,870 Where do you get your ideas from? 415 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,620 I write about haunted houses, mostly. 416 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,960 And haunted people. I'm afraid there's no shortage of them. 417 00:31:44,290 --> 00:31:45,500 Must run in the family. 418 00:31:45,590 --> 00:31:47,460 I mean, Luke's a great writer, too. 419 00:31:47,550 --> 00:31:48,630 - Yeah? - Yeah. 420 00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:49,670 No, I'm not. 421 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,550 Stop selling yourself short. He's really talented. 422 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,890 You should show them the one about... 423 00:31:54,970 --> 00:31:58,180 the short story with the imaginary little friend in the garden. 424 00:31:58,270 --> 00:32:00,270 - The one... Do you know that one? - Yeah. 425 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:02,270 - Abigail. - Yeah. 426 00:32:02,390 --> 00:32:04,230 I put her in one of my books, too. 427 00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:07,570 Something tells me Luke won't get as much blow back for his. 428 00:32:09,230 --> 00:32:11,030 It's just an essay. 429 00:32:11,110 --> 00:32:12,660 It's not anything, you know. 430 00:32:12,740 --> 00:32:14,300 I keep telling him he should publish it. 431 00:32:15,030 --> 00:32:16,080 Off his name alone. 432 00:32:16,490 --> 00:32:18,580 Maybe get a sweet place like this for himself. 433 00:32:18,870 --> 00:32:20,700 I mean, you guys... This is so awesome. 434 00:32:20,790 --> 00:32:22,830 You guys got it all, man. 435 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,580 Where do you go from here? 436 00:32:25,580 --> 00:32:27,500 Nothing left to do except... 437 00:32:27,630 --> 00:32:29,920 maybe fill this place up with some kids, I guess. 438 00:32:34,430 --> 00:32:36,470 So is this your first rehab, Joey? 439 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,430 Ah, it's far from it. 440 00:32:39,390 --> 00:32:41,810 But some of us are addicted to treatment centers, huh? 441 00:32:42,810 --> 00:32:44,480 Not Luke's first rodeo either. 442 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,110 So what's different this time? Something must be. 443 00:32:48,190 --> 00:32:50,400 I mean, you know the definition of insanity. 444 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:51,320 Steve. 445 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,320 "Doing the same thing over and over..." 446 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,160 "...and expecting different results." Sure, man. 447 00:32:56,620 --> 00:32:58,740 They're all different, though. Every day is different. 448 00:32:58,780 --> 00:33:02,750 Every craving is different. Every meeting is different. 449 00:33:03,210 --> 00:33:05,806 Right. I'm not trying to suggest you're not taking this seriously. 450 00:33:05,830 --> 00:33:06,830 Oh... 451 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:07,880 And I'm just... 452 00:33:08,090 --> 00:33:09,130 This time around... 453 00:33:10,050 --> 00:33:11,630 I'm just speaking for myself, like... 454 00:33:12,340 --> 00:33:13,510 Like, I got more support. 455 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,180 And I'm giving more support. 456 00:33:16,970 --> 00:33:17,970 So... 457 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,600 in a sense, I guess you could say... 458 00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:23,230 it looks like the same thing over and over again, 459 00:33:23,310 --> 00:33:24,730 but that's not insanity. 460 00:33:25,140 --> 00:33:27,270 Out there on the streets, that's insanity. 461 00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:28,980 Of course. 462 00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:31,980 So that's what recovery is, you know? 463 00:33:32,070 --> 00:33:34,700 It's the same thing over and over again, 464 00:33:34,780 --> 00:33:36,610 in spite of the result, or... 465 00:33:36,910 --> 00:33:37,910 in spite of 466 00:33:38,450 --> 00:33:41,450 a backslide or in spite of a full-fledged fucking relapse. 467 00:33:43,910 --> 00:33:46,460 Doesn't mean you stop just 'cause it gets a little repetitive. 468 00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:48,670 One day at a time. 469 00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:51,840 When we decide to get clean, 470 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,720 it's not because we expect it to be fucking exciting, you know? 471 00:34:03,020 --> 00:34:05,480 Is it normal to bring a friend home on a day pass? 472 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:06,600 Yeah. 473 00:34:06,940 --> 00:34:08,020 It happens. 474 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,570 - I just never really felt like it before. - You must like her. 475 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:13,690 I admire her. 476 00:34:14,610 --> 00:34:15,610 Don't you? 477 00:34:16,610 --> 00:34:18,610 I feel like she's got her shit together. 478 00:34:18,820 --> 00:34:21,410 I'd think you'd want me to take a page out of a book like that. 479 00:34:21,490 --> 00:34:24,370 Look, I get it. She's charming. 480 00:34:25,410 --> 00:34:27,160 She's articulate, she's funny. 481 00:34:27,660 --> 00:34:30,080 - Yeah. - Disarming, you might say. 482 00:34:30,630 --> 00:34:32,170 You might even say "slick." 483 00:34:34,090 --> 00:34:35,090 Slick? 484 00:34:35,710 --> 00:34:36,880 Just saying. 485 00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:39,050 You know she stayed up with me. 486 00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:41,760 That first week when I was coming down. 487 00:34:42,220 --> 00:34:43,970 You ever seen someone in withdrawal, Steve? 488 00:34:44,060 --> 00:34:45,060 Nope. 489 00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:46,680 Well, it's hell. 490 00:34:47,390 --> 00:34:48,390 It's... 491 00:34:48,890 --> 00:34:50,560 You're freezing all the time. 492 00:34:50,650 --> 00:34:53,520 LA in July, no air conditioning, freezing. 493 00:34:53,770 --> 00:34:56,570 Muscle aches, stiff as boards, nausea, shakes. 494 00:34:56,690 --> 00:34:58,490 - I wouldn't know. - Well, she does. 495 00:34:58,570 --> 00:34:59,780 Because she was there. 496 00:35:00,450 --> 00:35:02,570 And she talked me through it, she rode it out with me. 497 00:35:03,580 --> 00:35:05,450 Wow. Awesome. 498 00:35:07,330 --> 00:35:08,830 Fuck. Steve. 499 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,000 I'm not... I'm not asking for her hand in marriage. 500 00:35:13,090 --> 00:35:16,130 I just wanted to bring a friend to dinner and you're not giving her a chance. 501 00:35:16,170 --> 00:35:17,170 No, I guess I'm not. 502 00:35:17,260 --> 00:35:19,050 - Why not? - I'm fresh out of those. 503 00:35:20,510 --> 00:35:21,720 I gave 'em all to you. 504 00:35:23,430 --> 00:35:24,430 Wow. 505 00:35:24,930 --> 00:35:28,060 - I just want you to be careful, is all. - I'm doing good, Steve. 506 00:35:28,140 --> 00:35:31,310 Anyway, she's a good person, she's a good influence. 507 00:35:32,350 --> 00:35:35,940 Just because someone's a good person, just because you care about them... 508 00:35:36,570 --> 00:35:38,240 doesn't mean they won't burn you. 509 00:35:39,700 --> 00:35:41,240 You're a good person, Luke. 510 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:42,320 And I love you. 511 00:35:43,450 --> 00:35:44,450 And... 512 00:35:44,830 --> 00:35:45,830 you know. 513 00:35:48,540 --> 00:35:49,540 Thanks, Steve. 514 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,960 You know, I'm so glad we got to share this milestone. 515 00:35:55,790 --> 00:35:59,090 That's all I wanted. Thirty days clean so you can make me feel like shit again. 516 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,340 - Luke. - Fuck you. 517 00:36:16,230 --> 00:36:18,780 Jesus, Steve. It's fucking freezing in here. 518 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,590 Fother mucker. 519 00:36:53,730 --> 00:36:54,730 Hey, Luke. 520 00:36:57,810 --> 00:36:58,940 Hey... Hey, Steve. 521 00:37:03,820 --> 00:37:05,740 This isn't what it looks like. 522 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,120 Are you cold? 523 00:37:08,370 --> 00:37:09,370 Yeah. 524 00:37:10,990 --> 00:37:12,410 How'd you know where to find me? 525 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,880 Tell you what, I've got 200 bucks here. 526 00:37:19,290 --> 00:37:20,460 You hand me that iPad, 527 00:37:20,550 --> 00:37:23,010 you can keep the cash and sell that old camera. 528 00:37:23,670 --> 00:37:25,260 But, I need the iPad. 529 00:37:26,010 --> 00:37:27,010 It stays here. 530 00:37:36,350 --> 00:37:37,350 Hey. 531 00:37:38,150 --> 00:37:39,150 Hey. 532 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,756 Oh my God, I saw him walking in. I thought you were fucked. 533 00:37:41,780 --> 00:37:42,780 It's all good. 534 00:37:46,110 --> 00:37:47,910 Should be enough for a night, maybe two. 535 00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,370 And some food. Oh, here. 536 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,330 Amazing, Luke. 537 00:37:55,620 --> 00:37:57,040 Amazing. 538 00:37:58,460 --> 00:38:01,550 Goddammit, it's cold tonight. Are you cold? 539 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,210 Where are we? Seventh? 540 00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:05,510 Yeah, almost. 541 00:38:05,590 --> 00:38:06,970 It's a few more blocks. 542 00:38:07,050 --> 00:38:09,680 I want a clean hotel, no junkies on the sidewalk. 543 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,521 Man, I don't know if I'm gonna make it a couple blocks without a piss. 544 00:38:13,810 --> 00:38:15,140 I'll just... 545 00:38:15,230 --> 00:38:17,890 pop into the little junkies' room and be back in a minute. 546 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:24,320 Baby. 547 00:38:25,740 --> 00:38:26,780 You got a fever? 548 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:28,530 Yeah, maybe. 549 00:38:30,620 --> 00:38:32,910 It's my arms and legs, you know? Muscle aches. 550 00:38:32,990 --> 00:38:34,160 No, I'm fine. 551 00:38:34,870 --> 00:38:36,080 Hey, I... 552 00:38:37,330 --> 00:38:38,330 Thank you. 553 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,040 For coming after me. 554 00:38:43,050 --> 00:38:44,050 Oh. 555 00:38:45,260 --> 00:38:46,260 It means a lot. 556 00:38:47,420 --> 00:38:48,420 You're welcome. 557 00:38:58,230 --> 00:38:59,230 It's all right. 558 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,280 What are you doing? 559 00:39:10,740 --> 00:39:11,820 Be back in a flash. 560 00:39:15,950 --> 00:39:16,950 Okay. 561 00:39:39,430 --> 00:39:41,400 Come on, let's... let's keep going. 562 00:39:49,070 --> 00:39:50,070 Joey. 563 00:39:58,290 --> 00:39:59,290 Joey. 564 00:40:08,550 --> 00:40:09,550 Fuck. 565 00:40:10,380 --> 00:40:11,380 Joey! 566 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:17,680 Joey! 567 00:40:26,310 --> 00:40:27,310 Joey! 568 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:15,570 Luke, addict. 569 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:17,780 - Hi, Luke. - Hi. 570 00:41:18,990 --> 00:41:22,540 I actually don't know what I want to say here. 571 00:41:22,910 --> 00:41:24,120 You know, I've... 572 00:41:24,410 --> 00:41:26,290 I've never had this much time before. 573 00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:27,710 You know, 90 days. 574 00:41:32,510 --> 00:41:33,510 Um... 575 00:41:37,300 --> 00:41:38,510 So here goes. 576 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:43,520 It's taken me ten years to get 90 days clean. 577 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:49,270 And I'm starting step four, which is always the one that does me in. 578 00:41:50,900 --> 00:41:53,490 "A fearless moral inventory." 579 00:41:56,320 --> 00:42:00,030 Now, I've been called a lot of things in my life, 580 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,330 but "fearless" is not one of them. 581 00:42:04,910 --> 00:42:07,960 You know, I was always a scared little kid, 582 00:42:08,710 --> 00:42:09,710 and I thought... 583 00:42:10,500 --> 00:42:14,130 I thought I'd get braver as I got older, but... 584 00:42:15,050 --> 00:42:16,260 um, I didn't. 585 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:18,720 I, um... 586 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,100 I just got scared of anything. 587 00:42:24,890 --> 00:42:28,980 My mom committed suicide when I was six years old. 588 00:42:30,020 --> 00:42:33,320 And my siblings and I were sent to live with our aunt, 589 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,200 and, I mean, I was just a kid, you know. I didn't... 590 00:42:38,530 --> 00:42:40,740 I didn't really understand death yet. 591 00:42:40,820 --> 00:42:45,200 So, I guess I just expected her to... 592 00:42:46,910 --> 00:42:47,910 to come back. 593 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:53,460 And every night, I'd... 594 00:42:55,210 --> 00:42:58,380 I'd stare out my window as the cars came around the corner, 595 00:42:58,470 --> 00:43:02,550 just hoping that one would stop and my mom would step out, 596 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:04,310 you know, to come take me home. 597 00:43:05,060 --> 00:43:07,480 Every time I saw those headlights come round the corner, 598 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,730 I'd sit up in bed... 599 00:43:09,810 --> 00:43:13,440 and I'm staring out of my window, just full of hope. 600 00:43:14,230 --> 00:43:17,650 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 601 00:43:19,530 --> 00:43:21,620 But they'd just keep driving. 602 00:43:26,910 --> 00:43:28,910 Those tail lights, they were the worst. 603 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,540 Red eyes in the dark, just taking hope with them. 604 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,210 I mean, Mom... 605 00:43:37,590 --> 00:43:39,170 she never came back, of course, 606 00:43:39,260 --> 00:43:41,300 but other things from when I was a kid, 607 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:42,970 they came back. 608 00:43:43,220 --> 00:43:44,640 And I guess that's... 609 00:43:45,970 --> 00:43:49,140 I guess that's why I started using in the first place, you know? 610 00:43:50,310 --> 00:43:51,650 To keep those things away. 611 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,690 And I'd get clean... 612 00:43:58,780 --> 00:44:00,280 you know, a week, a month. 613 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,990 But I'd always feel 'em, you know, just sneaking back up on me. 614 00:44:05,700 --> 00:44:08,200 - So I'd use. - He's not real. 615 00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:11,000 You know, my family, they're not gonna believe this. 616 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,540 They never really believe me. 617 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:14,460 And I don't blame them. 618 00:44:14,540 --> 00:44:18,250 You know, I fucked them over so many times. Lied, stole. 619 00:44:19,510 --> 00:44:22,090 Come on, you all know what I mean. 620 00:44:24,510 --> 00:44:25,640 And I guess... 621 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:30,600 I guess I'll... 622 00:44:32,310 --> 00:44:36,360 I'll never know how it felt for them to be done like that. 623 00:44:39,780 --> 00:44:40,780 I hope I never know. 624 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,280 Ah, sorry. 625 00:44:46,370 --> 00:44:49,040 I want to thank my caseworker, Paige. 626 00:44:50,410 --> 00:44:52,370 And every one at our recovery house. 627 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:54,870 And someone... 628 00:44:55,670 --> 00:44:59,050 Someone special, who's always had my back. 629 00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:00,920 Thank you. 630 00:45:02,090 --> 00:45:03,260 Any addict alone... 631 00:45:04,430 --> 00:45:05,970 ...is in bad company. 632 00:45:06,340 --> 00:45:07,930 That's right. 633 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:09,680 Thank you. 634 00:45:18,770 --> 00:45:20,190 I couldn't help her. 635 00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:23,610 We've been waiting for you to call. 636 00:45:23,990 --> 00:45:25,780 There's something I need to tell you. 637 00:45:25,860 --> 00:45:28,410 Listen, I know I fucked up. Okay? 638 00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,830 But I... I didn't use, I didn't. 639 00:45:31,950 --> 00:45:34,160 And I'm so fucking cold, 640 00:45:34,250 --> 00:45:37,080 and my... and my arms and legs are so stiff. 641 00:45:37,170 --> 00:45:38,170 I just, I... 642 00:45:39,630 --> 00:45:42,210 I... I need a bed. Like, a couch. 643 00:45:42,300 --> 00:45:45,470 - I'll sleep on the goddamn floor. - Just... please. 644 00:45:45,550 --> 00:45:48,390 Please, please let me come back. Please. 645 00:45:49,350 --> 00:45:51,350 Where are you? We'll come get you. 646 00:45:53,220 --> 00:45:56,560 One, two, three, four, 647 00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,110 five, six, seven. 648 00:46:01,940 --> 00:46:06,910 One, two, three, four, five, six, 649 00:46:06,990 --> 00:46:07,990 seven. 650 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:24,800 Hey. 651 00:46:26,470 --> 00:46:27,510 You're awake. 652 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,470 Well, yeah, 'cause... 653 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:30,720 you're awake. 654 00:46:31,300 --> 00:46:32,760 I saw her again. 655 00:46:34,310 --> 00:46:35,560 The Bent-Neck Lady? 656 00:46:47,530 --> 00:46:49,450 Mommy and Daddy don't believe me. 657 00:46:50,700 --> 00:46:51,700 Ever. 658 00:46:53,910 --> 00:46:56,620 They say she's a nightmare, but she's real. 659 00:46:56,700 --> 00:46:58,210 I know she is. 660 00:47:00,750 --> 00:47:02,000 I got an idea. 661 00:47:13,390 --> 00:47:16,850 You need seven, and you set them up like this. 662 00:47:17,890 --> 00:47:18,940 Why seven? 663 00:47:19,770 --> 00:47:21,650 Mom, Dad... 664 00:47:22,230 --> 00:47:24,860 Steven, Shirl, Theo, 665 00:47:25,070 --> 00:47:26,440 you, me. 666 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:28,860 It has to be seven. 667 00:47:29,820 --> 00:47:33,580 It helps if you touch each one and count out loud. 668 00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,370 One, two, 669 00:47:37,950 --> 00:47:39,870 three, four, 670 00:47:40,580 --> 00:47:43,130 five, six, seven. 671 00:47:44,090 --> 00:47:45,170 That keeps you safe. 672 00:47:45,590 --> 00:47:47,800 Sometimes you got to do it a lot. 673 00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:49,550 Like, a lot a lot. 674 00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:52,090 Don't forget to count. 675 00:47:54,010 --> 00:47:55,010 One... 676 00:47:56,100 --> 00:47:57,100 two... 677 00:47:57,720 --> 00:47:58,560 three... 678 00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:01,520 Four, five, six, seven. 679 00:48:06,230 --> 00:48:09,110 One, two, three, four, 680 00:48:09,190 --> 00:48:11,110 five, six, seven. 681 00:48:15,780 --> 00:48:20,160 One, two, three, four, five, six... 682 00:48:22,290 --> 00:48:23,290 seven. 683 00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:35,930 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 684 00:48:36,260 --> 00:48:41,180 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 685 00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:44,060 One, two, three... 686 00:49:03,370 --> 00:49:04,790 Come home, my love. 687 00:49:29,020 --> 00:49:30,110 Steve. 688 00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,360 I'm so sorry, I didn't... 689 00:49:36,910 --> 00:49:39,450 I couldn't... I couldn't help her. 690 00:49:47,500 --> 00:49:51,050 And I'm so... I'm so cold. I didn't... 691 00:49:52,630 --> 00:49:56,220 My arms and legs are... are stiff. 692 00:49:56,300 --> 00:49:57,510 And I... 693 00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:58,760 I... 694 00:49:58,850 --> 00:50:00,640 It's... 695 00:50:01,060 --> 00:50:03,180 It's like... It's like withdrawal, but... 696 00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:05,690 but I didn't use. 697 00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,440 I wasn't using, but... 698 00:50:09,310 --> 00:50:10,310 But I... 699 00:50:10,610 --> 00:50:12,230 But I feel it anyway. 700 00:50:15,570 --> 00:50:17,490 You... You believe me, right? 701 00:50:19,240 --> 00:50:20,700 You gotta come with me. 702 00:50:22,490 --> 00:50:24,120 You gotta come with me, Luke. 703 00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:25,330 What? Why? 704 00:50:25,710 --> 00:50:26,710 It's Nell. 705 00:50:30,500 --> 00:50:31,750 Nell's dead. 706 00:50:44,140 --> 00:50:45,140 How? 707 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,350 It was... It was suicide. 708 00:51:02,030 --> 00:51:03,030 No. 709 00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:05,200 Stevie... 710 00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:11,880 it wasn't.