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- Target is Doc Seismic.
Huh?
We're going to college together.
I guess I get to keep my superhero boyfriend after all.
The Immortal's now in charge.
We are down, Houston.
If a single sequid fuses with
one of your people, they will rise up as one.
Finally, some action!
I always wanted to be my dad.
What if that happens?
It's been an honor, sir.
I'm better.
- I'm stronger. I'm ready. - No, you're not.
I'll work for you, just put me back out there.
For some of you, it probably seemed like
this day would never come.
For others, it came far too quickly.
Maybe you're even wondering if you're ready for this.
For what comes next.
You are. I look out at this class and I see hope.
I see a bright new world with a special place
for each and every one of you. You may not know yet...
Mark's not seriously gonna miss his own graduation, is he?
- He's just running a little late. - This is why I quit superheroing.
I mean, you only get to say goodbye to high school once.
It needs to be enjoyed.
- Appreciated. Savored. - He'll be here. He promised.
Look at you. You're thieves! Rapists!
Criminals.
All so ignorant of your true crimes against terra therma.
What is it with you and historical monuments?
S... Uh, Professor Seismic, right?
Doc Seismic. I never taught.
Didn't you fall into, like, a huge pool of lava?
I fell into a new realm of understanding.
Do you know what this obscene phallus is constructed from?
He asked, expecting some idiotic answer.
- Uh... - Granite stolen from the Earth.
Iron ripped from her loins.
Bricks made of the clay she bleeds
from humanity's endless ruinations.
Isn't that... most buildings?
You can keep the ones made of wood.
Everything else, we're taking back.
Ha!
Ah!
I made a few new friends during my time underground.
Meet my Magmanites.
I liked you better when you just hated presidents.
As you find your place in the world,
know that it won't always be easy.
Sometimes, life hits you with everything it's got.
Huh?
The Earth reclaims her stolen flesh.
When you find yourself
in the shadow of adversity, do not be afraid.
For without adversity, there can be no triumph.
Without testing your limits,
you will never know how strong you truly are.
You're running out of time, kid.
I know.
Aah!
See? Even your greatest heroes are useless
against the power of Doc...
Nice save, Mark.
Would've been better if you had stopped him before he destroyed
another one of America's greatest treasures.
It's not destroyed.
I could, you know, I could try pushing it back out
- to, you know... - Do not do that.
We'll take it from here.
As the great Abraham Lincoln once said,
"Whatever you are, be a good one."
Did he, though? Did he really say that?
Doesn't sound very Lincoln-y.
So, all I missed were the
made-up inspirational quotes? Cool.
Hey there, hero. Good timing.
- Mm. - Mm.
Is that... sulfur?
Oh, man, wait till I tell you about this guy.
He's a case against higher education.
Amber Justine Bennett.
Yeah!
William Francis Clockwell.
I'd say it's been fun, but, you know... high school.
Markus Sebastian Grayson.
Let's go, Markus.
Samantha Eve Wilkins.
Markus Sebastian?
I thought we weren't keeping secrets from each other anymore.
Some secrets should never be revealed... Justine.
Everyone, please rise.
Congratulations, graduates.
Yeah!
Ooh, crap.
Remember, be bold,
be original, be...
I don't know. I don't feel any different.
It's graduating high school, not losing your virginity.
Amber, summer plans. Go.
Nothing but swimming pools and sleeping late
for two whole months. I mean...
on the weekends, maybe.
I'm at the community center Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Oh, and did I tell you guys I'm volunteering
for the Katie Giles campaign?
That's your idea of a summer vacation?
Hey, Giles is the real deal.
Do you even know your state comptroller?
I don't even know what a state comptroller is, but you do you.
I'm gonna find the trashiest reality show
I've never heard of and binge every episode twice.
Eve, please tell Amber how to properly vay-cay.
I'm, uh, gonna go help finish the reconstruction, up in Chicago.
Sorry, I didn't mean to make that
- weird for you or... - No, that's... that's amazing.
Do you ever miss punching bad guys in the face?
Seems cathartic.
Right now, I'm just happy helping people.
Speaking of...
God, I love having superhero friends.
I mean Eve, specifically.
Mark won't even take me flying anymore. Boo. Hiss.
To graduation and new beginnings.
- Mark? - I'm on call. Cecil might need me.
You're always on call now.
- That's the job. - It's all right.
Here.
- What's this? - Virgin mai tai.
- Very funny. - Cheers, guys.
To the best summer ever.
♪ Just another day ♪
♪ Lucky that you got that ♪
I'm telling you, this Martian problem
isn't gonna fix itself. They were gonna execute us.
We-we barely got off that rock alive.
Come on. They were trying to save their planet.
From their own slaves.
If those sequids ever take over, Earth is next.
We need to strike first.
Send up that Invincible guy again.
You're talking about starting an interplanetary war.
- Hm... Livingston? - Uh... What-what-what?
Well, what-what makes you
think I know anything about Martians?
Is that how you say it... Martians?
I, um, I have to visit... the urination chamber.
Get a grip. Get a grip.
You are a smart Earth astronaut.
Say, uh, everything okay, Rus?
Fine. Everything... everything's okay, yeah.
Sorry, how long have you been standing there?
Not that it matters, because I have nothing to hide.
Well, I, uh, l-listen, son,
I know things haven't been easy since Mars.
After what you all went through up there,
no one can blame you for being a little, uh...
Uh... not yourself.
But it's been months, and quite frankly, Livingston,
this is the U.S. Space Administration,
- not therapy. - Oh, God. No.
Well, I-I don't know how else to say this...
- Please don't kill me! - What?
Spare me! I won't fail you again.
I swear on my three-chambered heart.
Just please do not stab all three of them.
Uh, Christ on a Christmas tree. No one's killing anybody.
But effective immediately, you're taking a temporary leave
till you can get your head on straight.
Holy shit.
Um...
Whew. There.
Saved you some work.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
You scared the piss out of my entire crew.
- Uh, I'm just trying to help. - How do I know that's to code?
You know what?
Go stuff your code up your ass.
I live in that building. And if it was up to the bureaucrats,
we'd be sleeping in high school gyms until Labor Day.
- Thanks. - Thank you.
Mommy, does this mean we can go home now?
It's about time someone cut through all the red tape
and did something, instead of just talking about it.
You know how long I've been begging the city
to clean up that mess?
Six years.
Oh, but unless you know somebody?
- Good luck. - You know me, don't you?
- Wow. - That is so cool!
Hey, Mom.
No, no, everything's fine. Great, actually.
I was just thinking about you, and... Wait.
Is something wrong?
- Hey, Mom. - Morning.
Since when do you drink coffee?
Since I got my powers.
- Oh. I hadn't noticed. - Mm.
It keeps doing that.
I told Cecil those contractors he hired were total amateurs.
Yeah, well, at least he fixed our house.
His people shot it up.
Can we please not do this right now?
Sorry. I guess we're both still a bit raw.
So... how about we take a little break?
I found some crazy deals online. I'm-I'm thinking beach trip.
You and me. Somewhere tropical with a-a fancy hotel.
Bermuda.
- Maybe Saint Lucia. - Seriously?
- Call it a graduation present. - I mean, I want to, but...
Cecil told me the Guardians are working out some issues,
and I don't know if I can take off right now.
Well, what about taking the time to enjoy
- your last summer being a kid? - I'm not a kid anymore.
Yes, I know that. You're an adult.
But that means making your own choices.
- You don't have to do everything Cecil tells you. - Yeah, Mom, I kind of do.
The last time I did this on my own, half a city got destroyed.
- I understand. - No, you don't.
Let me finish. I understand why you think
you have to prove yourself, but you don't.
You're a good person.
No one thinks you're gonna turn out like your father.
Well, then why would you even say it?
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry. That's not what I meant.
Mark, I need you.
- Thank God. - What?
- I have to go. - Wait, Mark. Wait...
I quit.
I'm done. Fuck your training, man.
People try and kill me every single day.
Look, I don't need that shit at home.
Somebody got me in the balls.
Maybe if you trained more and complained less,
we could get back to saving lives.
We just stopped him from being that guy,
and now we've got you?
Ugh, fuck my life.
Kate? Is that you?
I've got a boo-boo that could use some dupli-kisses.
First of all,
we are not dating.
And second, that's inappropriate language for the workplace.
So kiss your own boo-boo...
boo... boo...
Wait, I know that look.
Oh, are you shitting me?
- You goddamn geriatric hypocrite. - This is none of your business.
- Aw, come on! - You and I were never a thing.
The Immortal and I are. Deal with it.
Kate.
Don't do this. Please.
We called them heroes,
role models, protectors.
But no one ever expected to call
the Guardians of the Globe victims.
Welcome to our first annual commemoration
of the massacre that shook the world.
We begin by honoring Aquarus, King of Atlantis.
Aquarus first won hearts
and minds when he singlehandedly rescued...
- Hi, Rus. - Yes, Rus.
I know you lost your job,
but the rent's been due for months. So, you know...
- I do? - ...served as a symbol
for those of us who feel different...
Just find a way to pay your bills,
or I need you out by the end of next week.
Next, we honor the Guardians'
fallen green do-gooder: Martian Man.
He may have come from the stars,
but Martian Man will always be
one of Earth's greatest superheroes.
While taking on bigger threats
was part of his job as a Guardian,
Martian Man always
made time to help first responders on the scene.
With his gentle nature
and kind spirit, Martian Man made Earth his home.
Here's the need-to-know.
We've had multiple corroborated sightings of Darkwing,
which is perturbing to me, considering that I personally
ID'd what was left of his rib cage last year.
- Oh, uh, sorry. - It's okay.
So, observe and report?
That's why you're employee of the month, kid.
Midnight City.
Been a virtual no-man's-land
since the Midnight Magician cursed it back in '02.
So when you say "cursed," is that, like, a metaphor or...
What the hell?
I mean it's cursed.
Permanent midnight, perpetual darkness.
Summer on the dark side of the moon.
So weird.
Hm...
Let me know when you're done playing tourist.
Oh, oh, God. Help. Help!
Please, somebody help me!
Ple...
Aah!
Please... s-somebody help me.
I am helping.
Helping make sure scum like you
never hurt another innocent person again.
Come on, man.
Darkwing was at my 12th birthday party,
so I'm pretty sure he doesn't kill people.
- Also, pretty sure he's dead. - Killed by your father, Invincible.
Which is why I carry on his work.
I was Night Boy, his assistant.
Assistant? Wait, you mean sidekick?
We don't use that term. It's degrading.
Okay, bring him in. He's lost it.
You think?
- You hear them, too? - Huh?
The voices.
Oh, man... Hey, you're coming with me. Okay?
I'm not going anywhere with the son of a psychopath.
Hey, I'm being nice, so watch it.
Huh?
Ow. I felt that.
My predecessor developed this exoskeleton
to help even the field against those like you.
But that's not what you should be worried about.
Hey, man, I said I felt that punch. I didn't say it hurt.
Aah!
Welcome to the Shadowverse.
There are dark things here.
Hungry things.
Even I don't dare to stay too long.
But I hope you like it, because you are never leaving.
- I liked the old Darkwing better. - I'm the hero here!
I'm saving the world from Omni-Man's son.
- Hey, don't call me that. - Let go.
Not until you take me back.
Hmm. Guess who they'll eat first.
You would never.
Like you said, I'm Omni-Man's son.
You have no idea what I'm capable of.
There. Now let go of...
Mark?
We lost you for a minute. Where were you?
You'll have to ask Darkwing's sidekick.
When he regains consciousness.
Okay. Bring him in.
I got to sign off. Something just came up.
- Anything I can do? - I doubt it.
Debbie, what a pleasant surprise.
- What can I do for you? - Mark almost missed
his high school graduation because of you.
He only gets one of those.
- He's barely 18, Cecil. - Mark came to me.
I'm looking out for him. I'm easing him back into the job.
It's not a job. And he's not your... your-your soldier.
You can't just order him around.
Well, at least he follows orders.
- Debbie, I didn't mean that. - That's what this is about, isn't it?
That you're in control, not him.
That he's not like his father.
- Debbie... - I can't believe you'd even think that
after everything Mark went through.
And what if you decide you can't trust him? What then?
- That won't happen. - I wish I believed you.
Debbie...
I meant what I said, about looking out for Mark.
No dangerous stuff until he's ready.
And he calls the shots. You have my word.
Sir, the Mars file you requested.
- D... Donald? - Debbie. Are you okay?
She was just leaving.
That was Donald!
Huh. Wonder what that was about.
I told you, sweetie. Everything's fine.
You don't sound fine, Mom. Are you and dad fighting again?
- No, nothing like that. - Well, then what?
Mom, it's me.
I'll put on some tea and we can just talk, okay?
Things have been a little tight lately, financially,
but we're fine. Really, sweetie.
Mom, why didn't you say something?
You know I can help out.
Samantha.
- There. - Turn it back, please,
before your father gets home.
Why? What's going on?
- Samantha? - Dad?
What are you doing in a Burger Mart shirt?
It's called an honest day's work.
But the furniture store... you've been there for 20 years.
Until you people turned the Chicago corporate office
into a pile of rubble.
Ugh, God. Why didn't you tell me?
Maybe you should have asked, instead of flying off
to God knows where doing God knows what.
All right, well, I'm here now.
Okay? You don't have to work some minimum wage job
like a teenager. I can give you and mom whatever you want.
I've provided for this family longer than you've been alive.
There. 24 karat.
- You can sell this and... - Turn it back.
Ugh. You're being stubborn for no reason.
I said change it back.
I have to run.
The Times wants to interview me about my work in Chicago.
I will visit in a few days to check in. And make dad sell this. Bye.
Hi there. I'm calling on behalf of
the Katy Giles campaign to ask for your vote
in next month's state comptroller election.
No, comptroller.
You know, overseeing budgets, auditing state finances.
It's critical work and...
- Hello? Hello? - I think you need a new slogan
that doesn't have the word "audit" in it, or
- "comptroller." - Local politics might not be as
sexy as flying around in tights, but that
doesn't mean you're the only one saving the world.
See? That's a better slogan.
Shouldn't you be off punching things into space?
Surprise.
I'm taking you to lunch.
Ooh. Unexpected, but appreciated. Let me go grab my bag.
There's this great Thai place down the street.
Uh, I had somewhere else in mind.
- I said I'd be back at 1:30. - We're almost there.
♪ Lighter than air weighs, cleaner than romance ♪
♪ And easier... ♪
Okay. You can look now.
Oh... my God.
- You brought me to Paris? - Sort of.
Is that a casino?
♪ All you need to know is I'll find you there... ♪
Okay, yeah, so it's just Las Vegas, okay?
You only get an hour for lunch, and I can't fly you to Europe
that fast without your skin ripping off, so...
Can I kiss you anyway?
You get an A for effort.
And for letting me keep my skin on.
Well, I didn't want to get you all the baggage
of dating a superhero without any of the perks.
Mark, I need you.
Give me a sec.
Dinner tonight instead?
Go save the world, Invincible.
Just make sure the voice in your ear
isn't the only one you listen to.
You're way too good for me!
Mm. Also, I need to take you
back to work first.
- You're late. - For what... low tide?
Something like that.
Turns out the Atlanteans are sore about Omni-Man
murdering their king, Aquarus.
And since your dad vanished like a fart in a hurricane,
Atlantean law dictates that his sentence falls
- to his next of kin. You. - That's a stupid law.
Maybe. But Atlantis controls the oceans.
They've threatened to erase the Eastern seaboard
if we don't deal with this.
You want me to go to war against an entire
- underwater civilization? - Who said anything about war?
According to Atlantean custom, the only way to atone
for the king's murder is to marry his widow.
- What? - It's an honor, if you think about it.
I can't marry a fish. I have a girlfriend.
Relax. It's strictly symbolic.
All you have to do is go through the ceremony.
Maybe kiss the bride.
Then all is forgiven and everyone moves on. It's easy.
Okay, but, like, will I have to, you know...
All right, what exactly am I looking at?
Your ride.
Sorry, kid, I got another fire to put out.
Good luck down there. I'll be listening.
- Talk to me. - It's the Lizard League, sir.
You called me back for the Lizard League?
They've hit a bio-research lab outside of Dallas.
How? We got King Lizard rotting in a prison cell.
Uh, it appears that Supreme Lizard has seized
control in his absence.
- Send in the Guardians. - A-Are you sure they're ready?
If they can't take down the Lizard League,
they'll never be ready.
Nope. Not this bullshit again.
I'm not doing another me.
- That me better not be you, Rudy. - It's not.
Who are you?
I call me... the Shapesmith.
Guardians.
Things usually this weird around here?
You have no idea.
Whoa.
Wear this.
Welcome, son of he who slayed my husband.
About that...
You will address her as Your Majesty, air-breather.
Right. Your Majesty, it's an honor to meet you.
And I'm very sorry for what my father did,
but I can't do this.
And definitely not here in front of everyone.
Okay. Uh, Th-This is kind of awkward, but
I have a girlfriend... name is Amber...
and we're finally in a good place,
so, even though, you know, you seem super nice,
- it-it just wouldn't feel right to... - What do you speak of?
Isn't that why I'm here? To be your new king?
Why would I need a king?
I commanded this kingdom for a decade
while Aquarus played dress-up with you humans.
Oh, then we're not getting married?
We abolished that barbaric custom.
What do you think we are, savages?
Oh, my... Oh, thank God.
I mean, uh, thank you, Your-Your Majesty.
G-Great. So, what's the new law?
- Trial by combat. - Release the Depth-Dweller!
Aw, man.
Wait, you want me to fight that?
Seems a little unfair.
Okay. I win. Can I go now?
Whoa.
Uh...
Oh, that makes a lot more sense.
Seriously?
Uh, if you're not feeling ready...
- Paul. - Yeah?
- Let's sell this bitch. - Okay.
Oh, wow. This place is adorable.
Hi.
So pleased to meet you. Come on in.
And last but not least, the living room.
I love it. It looks recently renovated.
It looks like they didn't even know what they were doing.
I-It was professionally redone only two years ago.
When are you taking offers?
- Wednesday. - Whoa!
- Slow down. - I was just asking.
Yeah? Well, don't bother. We're definitely not offering on this place.
It's in our price range. We like the location. The schools...
It's too far from the office.
You want me to get home even later?
There's excellent local transit.
Of course I don't. I just think...
It's not happening.
When you earn the money, you can decide where we live.
- She's not your pet. - What was that?
Did we mention the spacious garage?
Why don't you all go ahead? I'll meet you there in a jiffy.
Why don't you take the rest of the day off?
I'll call you later.
What the hell's going on down there?
Your file on Atlantean law needs some serious updating.
- This wasn't the deal. - Huh.
I'm pulling you out. Backup's on the way.
Huh.
Oh, shit!
Talk to me, kid.
That... sound.
How far away is that backup?
Incoming.
Now's your chance. Get out of there.
Huh?
Cecil, that thing got loose. It's killing everyone.
Well they should have thought about that before they
brought it home from the store.
I can't leave those people to die.
They tried to kill you. They were cheering.
All they wanted was justice for what my dad did.
You're not your father, Mark.
That's why I'm going back.
Okay, now we can do this.
Um...
Aah!
Ugh... Ah...
You got lucky this time.
Lucky?
Atlantis is calling it even
since you saved the Queen's life.
The next time I give you an order,
you listen.
Pull up the audio from that fight.
Get it to the boys in R & D.
- I want a report in a week. - Yes, sir.
Sir, when Debbie came to speak with you, she seemed, uh...
distressed when she... when she saw me.
Well, she's a distressed person.
After the number Nolan did on her,
who knows what's going through her head.
Anything else, Donald?
No, sir.
Ugh.
Why would you do that?
We don't want your fake food or your fake gold.
They're not fake.
But... I get it.
You had your job for years and losing it must feel awful.
I know how hard you worked to provide for mom and me.
No one is trying to take that away from you.
But you got to get over this stupid
"man of the house" thing. I'm trying to help.
Oh, yeah? Like you helped Chicago?
- Adam, don't. - What?
The whole lot was unstable, that's why
the city never built there.
It's a miracle nobody was killed.
This is what happens when you think rules
are just for us pathetic normal people.
Your powers don't make you a hero.
- They make you dangerous. - I have to go.
Don't come back until you've figured that out.
Fuck you, motherfucker!
And over here is our training room.
Wow. Look at all those... those things.
Ooh why don't you show him the shower, Immortal?
It's super roomy.
You could do anything in there, right?
And you all get to live here?
Play your cards right and maybe you can, too, someday.
The Guardians could use someone with your talents.
Really?
Forgive me for questioning your authority, Immortal,
but we don't know anything about the Shapesmith.
I can tell you.
I can tell you. I can tell you.
I was born a baby human,
right here on the planet of Earth.
I got my superpowers in a random industrial accident.
I swore to use my abilities for good and to help people
and to protect my planet, no matter what.
Because I am a normal human superhero.
Am I in?
Yes, we were defeated.
Yes, it was embarrassing.
Yes, it was my plan.
But we are not a joke,
no matter what social media says.
We are the Lizard League, and we are unstoppable.
We're unstoppable. We're unstoppable.
And under my leadership,
instead of that fool, King Lizard,
we will rise again, any day now!
All hail Supreme Lizard.
All hail S...
If anyone is going to turn this organization around,
it's going to be King Lizard. Any objections?
Why should I tell you anything?
Who the hell are you, anyway?
Think of me as an old friend.
An old friend who can help you, given your current predicament.
Fine.
They were smart.
After our ultimatum, they ambushed my dad
with experimental quantum bombs.
Still cost them most of Europe.
Then they just... wore me down.
Caught me when I finally had to sleep.
Hmm. Interesting.
- Freeze! - Who the hell are you?
- That's what I said. - Me? I'm not your problem.
- Then whose problem are you? - His. Well, not his, but...
...close enough.
Make him pay for what he did to your world.
What?
Stop. Hey, you promised you'd help me. Hey.
Don't leave me here! Hey!
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