♪♪
- I've been on this for 10 years, from the beginning.
What's been going on the last two months
is unlike anything we've ever experienced.
- Hi.
- Previously, on the Summer House Reunion.
Do you think you could be falling in love?
- That's the conversations that we've had.
That's the-- That, I've waited--
You can laugh at me all you want.
- This isn't like, a sex scandal.
It was like, hanging out.
- Why continue to lie? - Literally!
You live a different ----ing life off-camera,
than you do on camera.
You had a girlfriend...
Meija.
- Our relationship is like, just that easy for him
to, like, completely discredit.
That's just, like, so ----ing hurtful.
- It's been public who I've hooked up with
every once in a while.
- West, you are a pathy. We believe nothing.
- I do still have love for Amanda,
and I do still care for her, and I am very concerned.
- The concern about me being, like,
the worst person to risk all of this
makes total sense.
- I couldn't fathom that I would be sitting here,
pissed that you're ----ing my ex.
- I will walk away from this set today
and do a lot of thinking, and a lot of reflecting.
- Andy, I didn't learn anything.
- I'm walking away knowing less
than what I came in knowing. - Yeah.
- All we wanna talk about is to get clarity.
And you guys came to the table with,
"Well, we have a lot to think about after today."
- Should we start over?
- Tonight, on Summer House: The Aftermath.
- So, West was, like, highly pursuing you.
This is the sh-- that I wanted to hear
at this reunion!
- Wait, time out. How long have you had feelings
for her, beyond friendship?
- A lot of our conversations
are now, like, over a phone call
because of her.
♪♪
[knock on door] - Come in!
- Knock, knock.
- Shoes off, please.
- Got you.
Where are you?
- I was just cleaning.
Do you want some rosé?
Oh, you brought.
Oh, two. That's so interesting.
I got two, too. I started.
- I thought I'd do a throwback to our OG rosé.
- Well, I know you love rosé.
- Oh, I appreciate it.
Now we have four bottles.
- Well, we might need 'em. - Yeah.
- Do you want ice? - Yeah, maybe a little bit.
- Wanna little fruit pouch? - I'm good.
- A teether? - I'm okay.
- Something to gnaw on? - Probably.
Maybe at some point. I'll let you know.
Thank you.
- How you doin', girl? Girl, Girl, girl...
We got lots to talk about. - I'm like-- Yeah.
We sure ----ing do.
Where's miss Gemma?
- She's makin' friends. Little social butterfly.
- Yeah.
Well, thanks for agreeing to talk with me.
I feel like, obviously,
the reunion was not, like,
the focus wasn't on, like, us,
or our friendship either.
And it was also just like a sh-- show.
And, like I said to you in our text, like...
our friendship is so important to me too.
And I know that my actions have hurt so many people
beyond what I even thought was, like, comprehendable.
So I just wanted to, like, chat with you and...
- Yeah. - ...answer questions...
- No, and I appreciate reaching out.
- ...get to a place where, like, yeah.
- I do. And like, you--
I know you reached out like,
the day your announcement went out
and I, I obviously, like, appreciate that.
And it's a ----ing tough position to be in.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes I'm like, I have a lot to say,
sometimes I don't know what to say.
And like, we're all like,
I'm moving at the speed of light right now and...
- Yeah.
- This was a big one.
- Yeah.
- Despite all of our up and downs in our friendship,
we got really close over the last year.
- Yeah.
- And we do have a very sisterly relationship.
And you need a big sister right now.
And it's like, I don't think you have
anyone in your life who's like,
willing to give you the hard truth
and, like, the tough love
and like, this is those moments.
Like, have you watched the episodes yet?
- I haven't. And...
- You have not? - No.
- When you watch back the scenes of Ciara
being a supportive friend to you,
how did that feel watching it back?
- I haven't been watching the show,
but I know that she has been.
I watched past seasons.
- It's tough. It's uncomfortable.
- Yeah.
Well, like, not that anything was happening.
Like, that's not why I can't watch.
It's more that, like, I... I'm off the Internet.
Like, I'm not on social media.
I'm like, staying away from all that
to try to protect my own mental health.
Watching it, knowing,
like, what people are gonna look for,
what people are gonna say.
Like that anxiousness, like, I just had to...
I had to stop.
- I know, but I think, like,
you and West made a very adult decision.
- Yeah. - And now, you have to deal
with the very adult consequences...
- 100%.
- ...that come with that. - Yes.
- And you can't just be the ostrich
that puts your head in the sand
and pretends it didn't happen.
You have to go through it. You can't go around it.
- No, I know. - You can't go over it.
- I am going through it and I feel it every day.
- I know, but Amanda, like, you're not...
You're not, though.
- I made some poor decisions,
but it's like,
I was in such a sh---y relationship.
- A hundred percent. - Awful.
Lost myself completely.
Didn't recognize myself anymore.
Was like, a shell of myself.
I just wasn't me anymore.
And going out,
like, I felt just, like,
young and, like, in my 20s
and, like, fun again.
And I think maybe I confused,
like, going out with West
and, like, falling in love with myself again
and, like, remembering who I am with, like, feelings.
Hanging out with him and his friends
brought out a side of me that, like,
I never thought I would see again.
Like, this person that, like, wanted to have fun,
wanted to go out, like, loved life again,
didn't feel lost and alone and scared anymore.
Like, I felt such a euphoric feeling.
It was hard to, like, think rationally,
or logically, through any of that.
- Listen, there is validity to what you're saying, right?
- Yeah. - Like...
we literally have all felt that
in different ways post-breakup.
- Yeah.
- But that does not excuse going for the one guy
that has broken Ciara's heart multiple times
and then got it back...
and then broke it, and got it back...
And broke it and got it back.
- Yeah.
I didn't go for him. He pursued me.
- Okay, well, he described,
at P.J. Clarke's, he said it was you.
So you both are saying, like...
- What did he say?
- He told Ciara that you were the one obsessed with him
and that you were the one who's, like,
you know, has a crush on him
and that nothing physical had happened at that point.
And that was March 6th.
- He said I had a crush on him?
- Yeah.
- And I was obsessed with him.
- Yeah.
- That's such ----ing bullsh--.
♪♪
- He said I had a crush on him?
- Yeah.
- And I was obsessed with him.
- Yeah.
- That's such ----ing bullsh--.
- This is exactly my ----ing point, Amanda.
This is what this man...
- That's funny. - Goes around saying.
- No. He was actively texting me to hang out
all the time, and I would always say no.
- Give- Give me these details.
- Like that... - Like, this is the sh-- that I wanted to hear
at this reunion. - Yeah.
- That I was like, can someone explain
any of this to me? Like, how did this happen?
- No, he, like-- - So West was, like, highly pursuing you.
- It would be, like, in group text
and, like, come meet up with, like, our friends,
like, you and so come here.
And I would always say, no.
It was never just, like, me and him hanging out.
It would always be, like,
group situations, group settings.
Come watch the game here.
Come like-- he would invite other people, too.
Like, it wasn't just me.
And then there was, like, that one time,
I guess Ciara saw me at his apartment.
- January 17th.
- Yes. Which was...
Which was, again,
him being, like, "Come over for the game."
Like, it was in a group text
with, like, other people.
We were there, we had, like, pizza.
Like, it was weird in my mind.
I was like, I don't know why we're here.
Like, this is weird.
Like, why we're not out. Whatever.
And then, like, the split announcement comes out.
I'm, like, in a different head space where I'm like,
okay, like, I need to meet people.
Like, I need to get out.
Like, I can't be, like,
sitting in my apartment anymore.
I can't be, like, saying no.
So then, like, West would be like,
"We're going here. We're doing this."
Like, come-- I'm like, okay, yes, yes, yes.
And then when he brought up that, like,
is there something happening?
It's like, this, like, door opened, and I'm like,
wait, what the (BLEEP) is going on?
Like, are these feelings more than just, like,
enjoying hanging out with him, like,
as a friend and, like, having fun?
- So he manipulated you.
- That's not what--
Those are not my words, but...
- Those are my words. - Okay.
- I'm happy to own them. - Okay.
- Absolutely. - But that's what happened.
And then it was--
- But this is what he does to all these girls.
- And it was just conversation.
There was nothing physical going on.
And I-- We'd text and we'd talk about it.
And I'd be like, this,
like, what the (BLEEP) is happening?
Like, I--
- But why didn't you shut it down then?
Why not at that point say, no,
I'm not doing that to Ciara. - Because it felt so--
Because I was so selfish and so focused on, like,
my happiness and, like,
feeling good for the first time.
Like, it was--
It overwhelmed me, this feeling of just, like...
Just, like, someone caring about me.
- Yeah, but so many people care about you.
- A guy. - A man.
- A guy. Like I--
- With a little wee-wee.
[laughing]
- I...
- Sorry, I gotta throw some sort of,
you know, jokes in there. - No, it's fair.
- I've got the nude.
- Am I hard?
- No. Soft. Flaccid. - Very soft.
- It's me.
- I mean, what was your biggest takeaway
from that reunion?
Or, like, in... in it?
- I honestly, like...
don't remember much.
Just because
when I...
get yelled at like that,
I retreat and I shut down... - Mm-hmm.
- ...and I disassociate. - Right.
- From-- I mean, that's how, like,
I got through most of my marriage.
Um... - Totally.
- But, like, I married Kyle
thinking that, like, this is the person
I was gonna spend the rest of my life with.
- Right. - Like...
I wanted to have kids with Kyle.
I wanted to have a family with Kyle.
And, like, when that realization hit,
like, that wasn't happening.
It was, like, very hard to, like,
stomach and swallow and whatever.
And I just think, like,
getting that attention from West, I felt like,
"Oh, maybe this is my person."
Like, we start as friends,
like now-- like, we get along so well.
Like, there's these feelings here.
Like, he cares about me.
Like, he's saying all the right things.
Like, I was like, afraid,
that like, I'd be alone for the rest of my life.
Like, I felt unlovable for so long.
- I know, but you have to work on self-love
and self-worth.
You are getting your self-worth from Kyle,
or lack thereof.
And that like, ruined you.
And now you're doing it again with another guy,
hoping that this guy is the reason
you have self-love.
- Yeah.
- And you have to learn how to do that on your own.
- And I think I was getting it confused.
- Why would like you choose...
...to go for this guy?
Like, you didn't think you can get that
from any other guy?
He is not God's gift to this earth. - No.
- And I can tell you, I can promise you,
all he does is manipulate women everywhere he goes
to fall in love with him
because of the way he touches you,
caresses you.
You haven't been touched like that in a while.
And all of a sudden you feel, like, a tingle in your body,
and you're like, "Oh!" - It's not even that.
- "Oh, hello." - It was--
- It is that. - It's-it's conversations.
- I mean, have you and West talked about, like...
the future?
- Partly.
Which is what's, like, so ----ing crazy,
because, like, I-- - And what do you talk about?
- I've-- I knew the severity and the gravity
of the situation, and I was like,
okay, like, if you really care about me, like,
if what you're saying is true, like,
if this is how you actually feel, like...
this couldn't be casual.
You'd have to see a future.
Like, you'd have to know that, like, I would, like--
would want to have kids, like, soon.
I'm not-- we haven't talked about having kids,
but, like, I've had these conversations
where I'm like, this is my life, and, like,
if I'm your friend and, like, you have these,
like, feelings for me, you need to be aware about--
of all this stuff.
We've had conversations about this,
which is also why I felt, like, safe in it.
- You know how many boyfriends I've talked to
about marriage and kids? - I haven't--
- Literally every boyfriend I've ever had.
- I haven't dated since I was 24 years old.
Like... - So then why don't you do that?
- I know. 'Cause--
- That's what you should be doing right now.
- There's also just-- yeah. - Is to under--
Get the life experience so you don't make
these ----ed up decisions that are gonna mess up
your entire ----ing life.
♪♪
West, he's already out there embarrassing you.
You know who he's on the phone with this morning?
Meija!
Why is he calling Meija today?
'Cause he's so scared about what's gonna come out.
- She's gonna say, yeah.
- He ----ed Meija in March.
- Mm-hmm.
- He cheated on you.
And cheated on her. - Yeah.
- And somehow in this, like, you're the other woman.
- Yeah. No.
- This guy is ----ing you up. - That's why it's-- yeah.
Which I'm now realizing. - Are you, though?
- That's not something that I realized--
- I feel like you're not. - I am. I have--
I wake up with, like, the most anxiety
about how I've, like, ----ed up my whole entire life
every single day.
- Like, imagine ----ing up so bad that we all forgot
how bad of a husband Kyle was to you.
- Yeah.
- Like, you blew up your ----ing life.
- No, I-- - When you were winning!
I hope that makes you angry. - No. Yeah.
I'm-- I am having a lot of feelings.
The tears are not just, like, sadness.
[sighing]
It's like, what's, like, so hard to, like, stomach
and process...
'Cause I just want to be, like...
- Loved. - Yeah.
And, like, it sucks that, like, I fought for that
for so long with Kyle, and, like, I just, like,
felt it so much for West.
I just feel like really ----ing stupid.
- To be honest, you should feel stupid.
And the only way to save yourself
in this moment is to separate yourself
from the sinking ship that West Wilson is.
Be the Rose on the Titanic.
[chuckling]
Let go of the hand.
He's gotta go.
- I know.
♪♪
[dog barking]
♪♪
[dog barking] - Hey, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I know better.
[dog barking]
- Have you ever been here? - No.
- You've never been here. - This is my first time.
What's your-- where's your spot?
- Doesn't matter.
- Hey, you gotta chill.
[dog barking] It's okay. I'll go--
Can she-- can she sense I'm stressed?
Good icebreaker.
- It's so weird, 'cause she obviously knows you.
Which is also just weird to me.
Yeah, I, uh--
Listen, I know it's awkward.
You know, it's almost, like, a feeling I can't describe.
Am I supposed to be supportive here?
Am I supposed to punch you in the face
and ask how could you? Like, I don't know.
- It is weird. I won't--
I'm not gonna, like, act like it's not.
- But I want you to know I don't have a game plan.
Like, I know you texted me weeks ago
saying you wanted to chat.
I don't want you thinking I'm, like--
There's gonna be these gotcha moments.
Like, personally, I just kind of felt like
so much of our life has been public.
- Yeah. - That, if we're gonna have a convo,
we might as well film it. - I--
- Like, I'm not-- I don't have, like, this agenda.
- Me, neither.
I suggested off, because I figured--
and, like, this won't make it, but, like, my...
[chuckling] ...time on camera's over,
and I didn't want you think I was just trying to, like--
I think people, when you do a bad job
at the reunion,
I think people, or in my experience,
anything I've done following it publicly
has landed poorly.
And so I didn't want you to think I, like,
waited until the reunion was over and then, like,
gathered myself, and then was, like, oh,
let's film a scene together kind of thing.
- Yeah.
- The processing and, like, slowing down, and sort of,
like, soaking it all in didn't really happen
until the last two weeks.
Um...
- Was that just post-reunion, or--
- Post-reunion and post, just adrenaline--
I mean, when this all hap-- like, everything
was a such a ----ing disaster tornado,
and... [sighing]
There's so many layers to this, but, like,
the friendship part of this, uh, has been...
really hard to process.
To watch it fully implode with other people
who you care about, who I care about,
um, ----ing sucks.
And, like-- when you posted that video of us
----ing playing basketball...
[cheering]
[laughing]
It's-it's really ----ing hard to know
that something special, like, I ----ing super fractured.
- I mean, it sucks. - Yeah.
- There was a bond,
and we gelled.
And then it was just, like, woah.
Like, if West is lying about this,
and lying about this, and lying about this, like,
where does that leave us?
And it kind of puts people in an awkward spot that, like,
I don't even--
- Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, clearly, if I could go back,
would do a lot of things differently,
but I lied to you, I lied to Ciara,
I lied to Mia, I lied to Lindsay.
Well, I lied to Jesse, and I, I mean, hopefully,
a little more time has passed
and, like, I hope you hear me out, but, like,
I get why my word now is...
...discredited in a lot of regard.
But I am here today to, like, obviously have
an honest conversation with you.
- Well, I appreciate it, and look, for me, it's--
there's the friendship of it all on one side,
and then there's Amanda and the fact that, like,
no matter what, I will still care about her.
There's still love there, and I'm-I'm worried.
- Yeah, no, I get that.
Um, do you want full honesty
even though it could be possibly hurtful today?
♪♪
- Do you want full honesty even though it could be
possibly hurtful today?
- Yes.
Because at this point, it's like,
there's no reason to lie.
- Right, because that's not my intention at all.
- Well, even, like, you know, I-I convinced Amanda
not to do the podcast that she literally was about
to hop on a flight to.
I'm like... - Yeah.
- I'm like, A, you haven't watched the season,
B, we haven't seen the reunion.
How can you-- if this is, like, a speak your truth moment,
what are you doing it on?
I mean, I'm like-- and I don't know.
Have you watched, like, the second half
of the season? - Mm-mmm.
- You haven't. - No, I will.
But it was more just to-- and that honestly
kind of leads into--
- 'Cause I really feel like you guys need to.
- No, I agree. - And just, like,
the amount of, like--
If I'm being honest, the amount of...
Like, the-the things that you did to kind of lure
Ciara back in. Like, they--
Sometimes it is so blatant on screen.
You know, you-- it makes people like me and, shoot,
the rest of the audience wonder, like, what's--
what are your intentions?
There are moments where you-- it's an extra, extra,
extra long hug.
There's... sensual touching.
- Come here.
- And you don't need to be a genius
to see and realize that, like,
Ciara still has feelings for you.
You're a very touchy guy. - Yeah.
- There's times when I watch last summer back,
and it makes me uncomfortable with how touchy you are
with Amanda. - Mm-hmm.
- Knowing that we were full on married,
still trying to make our marriage work.
- Mm-hmm.
- But the same thing goes for Ciara, you know?
This is-- this is something you need to be aware of.
You're just immediately kind of, like, inappropriate
with how touchy you are if it's purely friendship.
- No, that's fair. And that's a learning lesson.
Um...
After summer ended, there--
yeah, we did kiss,
twice, I believe.
Um, but we did--
We went to a Giants game separately.
She asked to ride the bus home
and then she asked me for my address.
I didn't give it to her.
Like, her birthday, I went. I wanted to be a good friend.
They went out after. I said I'm going home.
Like, I know I ----ed-- I, like, have not done
a perfect job. I just--
I want to think she noticed I was trying to, like,
do the right thing a handful of times.
- Well, it's like, you gotta be 100%.
You can't be, like, 90, 80-- you know?
- No, I-I agree. - You know, it's like,
when you have a complicated relationship
with someone... - Yeah.
- You gotta draw the line and you can't cross it.
- Yeah, no, totally.
- Let's just start with one of the big, obvious things,
if you don't mind. - Yeah.
- Meija, like-- - Yeah.
- I've made tons of mistakes in my relationships,
but I've never just, like, full-blown had, like,
a frickin' secret girlfriend. - Yeah.
- Like, that's crazy to me. - Right.
- Was it open-ended with her?
'Cause, like, that's the part that--
- No, I-- she-she 100% was operating
as if we had an exclusive relationship,
and I wasn't, and that's unfair.
And that's ----ing sh---y.
I definitely led her on, and I do and did care about her,
but I-- it was very much a relationship,
and I shouldn't-- - Okay, well, that--
Honestly, that's all I wanted you to admit at the reunion.
You gave-- you led her to believe you were in
an exclus-- an exclusive relationship.
I've had a lot of exchanges with her.
- Yeah. - It's like,
you wanted to have your cake and eat it, too.
You kind of lied to all of us about your relationship status.
Can we-- is that a fair-- - Yeah, yeah, totally.
I think I look at not leaning all the way in
and maybe, like, ambiguity as communication,
and that is not correct at all.
Like, she wanted me to visit her family for Christmas.
I said no, that's not where our relationship is.
That's easier than saying, "I don't want to date you."
And I thought that was, like, doing the right thing,
and I know nothing that I ended up doing
was the right thing.
- 'Cause like-- I mean, if you want to get
to the Amanda of it all, I mean, like--
I'm worried for her because, you know,
as people learn about Meija and, like, how much...
you've lied, I think it's gonna make her look even--
If I'm being honest, it's gonna make her
look even crazier for...
...for kind of, like-- - Yeah.
- Kind of ruining it all for-for a relationship
that you guys are still figuring out.
- Um, yeah, I think that's fair.
- I mean, dude, she's-- She hasn't even been single.
I-I do think she could've benefited from some time
where she's focused on her.
- I-I agree with you, and that was a conversation
we had multiple times where I said,
"Do you think you should be single for a while
or, like, just not hop right into this?"
And I could only ask it so many times.
The answer was the same.
It all-- like, it looks bad. Like, I-I get that, 100%.
- I mean, the whole-- Look. I want her to be happy, man.
I-I just-- I-I worry that you're gonna break her heart,
if I'm being honest.
- Yeah, I-I know, and I've heard from...
Lindsay texted me. I get that you feel that way.
And-- but can I say-- can I tell you t-that, like,
every other relationship I've had,
and obviously I know I'm, like, the ----in' commitment-phobe.
And like, I know, l-like...
Yeah, I have not had good relationships
for the longest ----in' time. I'm very well aware of that.
And I also don't think part of why I came here,
I'm not gonna sit here on this couch right now
and, like, be able to convince you that
I'm like t-this ----ing changed, perfect person overnight.
But I-I can tell you that my relationship with Amanda
is the first time it's ever come from, like,
a steady three-year friendship where, like,
there's nothing performative about it.
There's no-- no one's trying to, like, prove anything.
Like, I know who she is, she knows who I am.
And, like, I regret so many ----ing things,
but the one thing I-- I cannot regret
and I'm not gonna be, like, take back, is that--
is my feelings for Amanda and like, developing feelings
and, like, caring about her. I'm-- I won't.
I-I can't apologize for that, 'cause it happened.
- Do you think you're honestly, like, ready to, like,
settle down and be in a committed relationship
where you're faithful?
- Um... Yeah, I do.
The ability to pro-- - Do-do you love her?
- Um, I mean, yeah. ----in', if you--
I said "I love you" that night I left your guys room to her.
Amanda...
I-I really care about her a (BLEEP) ton.
- Wait, time out.
H-How long have you had feelings for her?
Like, beyond friendship? - Like...
February. The timeline--
L-Like, the timeline sh-- is very--
I get that everyone wants to go back and, like,
watch the show and be like,
"They were ----in' hooking up then."
We weren't, but, I, like-- She is --
We had been close prior to it ever feeling like...
- Okay, but there's-- There's love
and then there's in love.
And I think one of the things that has helped me be at peace
with our separation is, yeah, we fell out of love.
- Right. - There's--
I still have love for her, but we haven't been in love
in years, if I'm being honest. - Yeah, that's fair.
- But I-- The way you said "I love you" to Amanda
is the same way-- I mean, I filmed Watch What Happens
with Lindsay last night. I was like, "I love you".
- I also... - But I'm not in love with Lindsay.
- Um, I haven't--
No, I haven't gotten to the point where I've...
told her or myself that I'm like, in love or not.
But like, I do...
like, love her,
and, like, have.
I have cared about her for a very, very long time.
And it's hard to say that ----ing right to your face.
I hope and I am looking forward to
the way that I do care and will treat Amanda
to at least like, lighten the ----ing worry
that you have or the thought that
this is like just a ----ing joke,
and I don't care about anyone.
Like, again, t-that only takes time.
But, um, I do hope and think that will help.
No matter how this shakes out, I do appreciate you,
like, talking to me today.
Um, I mean, even your voice notes,
as classic Kyle ramble-y as they were,
were a nice-- - Yeah, I was like, "(BLEEP),
"I'm at the five minute mark. I gotta go."
- Yeah, those are a nice, like, reminder that--
- I mean, dude, I-- - Everything might be okay.
- This is such a weird feeling. I-I care about you.
I care about Amanda.
I almost want to, like, ----ing---
It's just such a weird...
- No, and you didn't ask for it either.
That's why it sucks. And so I-- It's been sus.
- I mean, to do all this in the public eye
is, like, kind of crazy.
- Mm-hmm. - I don't know.
It's been an emotional couple months,
that's for sure.
- Yeah.
- I also feel like, you know, you owe some type of, like,
apology to Meija.
- I have owed, unfortunately,
a lot of people...
apologies.
♪♪
[knock at the door]
♪♪
- Hi, pretty lady. - Hello. Come on in.
I'm just chopping flowers.
♪♪
Can I make you a little mimosa?
- I would love a little mimosa.
♪♪
- Come on in. I'm just chopping flowers.
- Okay.
- Can I make you a little mimosa?
- I would love a little mimosa.
- Okay, perfect, because I'm drinking,
and I feel like, if you need to gossip,
you need a little alcohol.
How are you? - Um, you know.
she's hanging in there. - Yeah.
- I think I'm still, like, very much in shock.
How are you doing with everything?
[sighs]
- We are surviving and thriving, I guess.
- Are we? Okay.
- Um, actually, thriving is...
It depends on the day. Things catch up with me.
- Yeah.
- But... - Thank you so much.
Before any of this.
- Okay, let's sit. - Okay.
- Oh, yeah, take your jacket off.
I got us fruit, but like...
- And it does look so good.
- Also, very sorry you had to see
footage of us kissing.
♪♪
- It-- I mean, that's not your fault whatsoever.
- I will say, like, yeah, that definitely took
the air out of my lungs to see, because I wasn't
privy to that. - I just--
- But that's not-- Do not.
That wasn't your responsibility to tell me.
- But, like, when you guys were, like...
When you're at his house over the summer,
is he giving you, like, a recap of the weekend?
Or is it like-- - Yeah, I feel like, um...
Yeah, like, anytime I would go over there
and we would hang out, and there would be some, like,
weekends where he was going, and he would be, like,
"Do you wanna just stay for the weekend
so you can, like, be here when I get back?"
And I was like, "Absolutely."
Because I just, like, recently moved,
so it's not like I have-- - Yeah.
- Like, a whole lot to go back to in Philly.
And I also, like, work remote, so it's, like,
convenient for me to be there. - Yeah.
- Also, he had, like, just moved into his apartment
at the time. - Right.
- And I love to decorate, and I, like,
love to do that kind of thing. - Yeah, same.
- So I was like, "I'll help you."
- Yeah. - Like, all -- I'm --
Like, I'll-- I love to stay. - Yeah.
I can style your apartment.
I can make it the way that I want it.
So that you don't (BLEEP) it up. - Just to be so clear,
didn't style his apartment. [laughs]
I'm not gonna take-- We've seen it.
I'm not taking credit. - Yeah.
So the basketball hoop wasn't...?
- Yeah, so that wasn't-- That wasn't my choice.
- Yeah, yeah. - I was actually very much
against that basketball hoop, but it's fine.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- But, yeah, he would, like, come back,
and then we would, like, talk about the weekend.
- Yeah. And, like, obviously,
he would, like, leave out details.
- Well, clearly. - Yeah.
- I'm also just kind of not that type of girl, I guess,
to be like... - Yeah.
It's like, if you don't have a reason to worry,
then you're like-- - Yeah.
Like, I typically give partners, like, a really long leash.
I just-- I, like, don't wanna be in a relationship
where I feel like I'm constantly, like,
checking you on everything. - Yeah.
- Like, if I like you, I trust you to, like,
not cross a line. - Right.
- Apparently, I should have,
and I probably won't be that way in the future, but...
- Have you guys been in contact at all?
- We hadn't spoken for a few weeks.
After the reunion, he texted me, "You win".
- "You win"?
What are you winning? - This isn't a game.
- Because the fact that people knew about you?
We took it upon ourselves to, like, figure out
who this girl is, because obviously,
there's two sides to the story.
And, like, you were hiding your side of the story and--
- Yeah.
- There's not a lot of physical evidence
of y'all's relationship. - Yes.
- But, like, there's evidence of y'all's relationship.
- Are there any girls you're excited about?
- Umm... Like, am I about to date anyone?
No. - That's ----in' bullsh--.
[laughing]
I see a girl's name pop up on your phone
all the ----in' time!
So I don't know who you're trying to tell,
but I ----ing know!
- No, the girl he's talking about
lives in Montana.
- She sounds fabulous. I'd love to meet her.
- Mmm... [laughing]
Let's pack up. Let's pack up. Whoa!
I don't know where my phone is.
- How is Meija? - Huh?
- I said, "How is Meija?"
- After the whole "You win" thing,
I think it took him, like, a week.
And then he called me and we had this, like,
six-hour conversation where he, like...
- You guys talked for six hours post reunion?
- Yeah. - Like did you guys
talk on the phone or was this via text?
- A lot of our conversations
are now, like, over a phone call...
because of her.
♪♪
- You guys talked for six hours post reunion?
- Yeah. - Like, did you guys
talk on the phone or is this via text?
- A lot of our conversations are now, like,
over a phone call...
because of her.
♪♪
- I applaud you on not blocking him.
- It's still, like, hard for me to fully disconnect.
I still have feelings there. - Yeah.
- Like, this was such a 180 bombshell for me.
Like, those don't just, like, go away overnight.
- But don't you think it's still weird that, like,
he's still under the advice of you?
- No, really. - Like while he has
this girlfriend-- this new girlfriend.
- Well, I didn't-- So here's the thing.
At first he was like, "I'm just going to Italy."
Then I told him, I was like, "Go hang out with your family.
Like, go hang out with people who love you."
Then I found out Amanda was going.
You going with Amanda is a (BLEEP) you
to everyone involved.
And it's such a big (BLEEP) you to me,
who has been, like, taking your phone calls
and trying to understand you. - Yeah.
But if you didn't exist and you weren't as important
as he says you were. - Yeah.
- Then, like, why the (BLEEP) is he still calling you
if he's in this happy relationship
and trying to figure it out? - I know!
- Can you just admit that you guys--
You blew up your whole ----ing lives to (BLEEP).
Because honestly, we know West.
It was the thrill of the secrecy for him.
- Said it from day one. - It was--
It was the hiding in plain sight that--
That was the most thrilling thing for him.
That's why he liked it.
If I'm being real, like secret sex is kind of hot.
But like... - Why do you think I was so comfortable?
- Secret is something like you're doing--
Like, I've never done it where it's like
I'm ----ing my best friend's ex.
- Well, no, 'cause that's evil. - Well, that's evil.
- Even West and I's relationship,
I'm like, yeah, there was a big part of it
where I'm like,
"I love that this is kind of a secret.
Like, this is kinda fun!" - Yeah, like, nobody knows.
- 'Cause I thought I was in on it, wasn't.
[laughing] But, like, turns out...
- Also same, like... "I was like, oh my God, are we--
We might be hooking up again, but, like, nobody knows yet."
But, like... - Like, whoa, the tension here.
Or, like, when we would, like, travel together
or, like, go to things together,
I was like, "I love that no one knows,
and we can just leave together or, like, go back together."
It's so fun and, like, kinky and secretive.
- But now everything moving forward is loud
and publicly.
- I think from, like, here on out, it's just...
I have to sever the cord. - Yeah. It's like a loss.
- After the Italy thing, it's like,
I had a very serious conversation with myself,
and I was like, I'm sure as hell not going to roll over
and act like I didn't exist and stay extremely silent.
- Yeah. - What did you think
was going to happen in the end?
- Okay, well, cheers to the gossip.
- Cheers to the gossip. - The tea.
To moving on, to a better summer.
And, like, also, just at this point,
let's just, like, make it fun. Let's make it fun.
- No, literally. Let's make it funny.
- Let's make it light and airy. - Let's make it funny.
- Like, let's laugh a little. Let's, you know.
- I'm petty. - Bitch, I'm petty.
I'm ----in' petty.
My mom had to text me and be like,
"Ciara, you're done on Threads."
I was like, "No, I'm just getting started."
She was like, "No, you're done."
I was like...
"I'm gonna block you, so that I can do
what I need to do because I just have to
do a little cartwheel, you know, here and there.
We're kinda trauma bonded, but...
- Oh, we're fully trauma bonded. - I love it.
- No, I'm actually, like, very much in support of it.
Like, West and Amanda are trauma bonded, but I'm like--
- Yeah, for different reasons. - Well, different reasons.
I feel like ours is fun.
We're gonna outlast their relationship.
- Oh, yeah. I will say-- - And I'm being so dead ass.
Like, we have to kiss courtside somewhere.
- Oh. - Have to.
I'm gonna kiss you with so much passion,
no one's gonna think we would ever be siblings.
[laughing]
He brought us together far too late.
- I mean... - Far too late.
♪ Top of the world All right ♪
♪ We ain't goin' nowhere where where where ♪
♪♪