But Mom, you promised!
I know I did Charlie, but I'm sorry, I've gotta go to work.
I'll have grandpa tell you a bedtime story, okay?
Okay.
Come on, grandpa is good at telling stories.
You brush them toofs?
Yes mama.
Wash them pits?
Yes mama.
Trim that beard?
Get out of here with that!
Now you be a good boy for grandpa, go to sleep and I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
After my bed time story.
Yes, after your story.
Love you.
What the fuck was that for?
Because I need you to listen for a minute dad, I got called in, I need you to watch Charlie.
Listen, he's already in bed, he brushed his teeth, but I promised him a bed time story, so I need you to do that for me.
A bed time story, are you fucking kidding me?
No, I'm not, a bed time story.
You're raising that kid to be a pussy you know?
What do you want me to do next, make him a ba ba, powder his ass,
say goo goo ga ga and all that shit?
The kid needs a fucking job!
Listen dad, don't do it for me, do it for Charlie.
You're old, impart some wisdom on him, tell him what it was like when Moses was around,
I don't care just get it done, please.
Thank you.
Look dad, can you just not fuck this up, okay? I'm serious.
Okay kiddo, mom say's I gotta tell you a bed time story, are you ready for this shit?
Yeah grandpa, tell me a good one.
Well I can tell you there ain't nothing good in this pile. Nothing but a bunch of pussified horse shit.
How about I tell you an adult fairy tale.
An adult fairy tale?
Well yeah. I mean if you think that's something you're up for.
You don't want me to read you one of those pussy little baby stories do ya?
No.
Well okay then. This story starts with a guy named Charlie.
Hey that's my name.
Yep, mine too.
No, your name's grandpa.
Well I'm grandpa to you, to other folks I'm Charlie.
And this Charlie, he was about to have the most amazing night of his life.
A night kind of like this one. But this story starts in outer space.
Computer!
Oh hey babes, sorry about the rude awakening.
But it seems our force field has been compromised, and we've got a baddy right on our tail.
I'm going to go ahead and suggest we take evasive action.
Monitors up. Come on Space Babes, let's see what we're up against this time.
All right! Dinner time! Three BLT's! Butts, legs, and titties!
It's another scrote!
Well that really puts a wrinkle in our plans.
Gloss up babes, it's time to play ball.
Prepare for death Space Babes, there is no chance to escape!
A space Babe is always prepared. But death isn't on the agenda today yam bag. At least, not for us.
Hey Babes I don't want to sound testy, but I think we might be dealing with a bigger load than we can handle this time.
We got a second scrote about to join the party, and he's coming in hard and fast!
They always do seem to come in pairs.
Weapon's on standby.
Armed and ready!
Fire!
Ragyna!
On it!
Computer, can you stabalize?
No Babes, they've got us pretty good. Frankly, I'm all out of ideas.
Typical. Here goes nothing.
Engage stalking mode!
They're right on our tail!
Hope they enjoy the view.
Weapon's on standby.
Fire!
Computer, status update!
Energy levels are depleted and their weapons are recharging. It's been nice knowing you Space Babes.
It's now or never Babes.
Hold onto your hooters Babes. Things might get a little silly.
Weapons recharging. Fire in three!
Two!
Spaaaaace Baaaaaaaabes!
The male of our species never did amount to much. The start of their existence is shrouded in mystery.
But it is important to our future, to understand the way they were, and the way they were finally disposed of.
For as long as time has been recorded, they have been regarded at unsavory, unruly, and uncivilized.
This was due to what was later dubbed, the greates mistake of our maker.
They had the numbers, but we had the brains.
The more their agenda became clear, the easier it became to manipulate them.
It wasn't until the year 3,000 that their true desires were firmly exploited,
and their reign of terror was put to an end by a group of brave babes.
These babes lured them into a large craft with the promise of a free trip.
To a newly discovered planet filled with sandwiches, as far as the eye could see.
But unfortunately, due to a mathmatical error-
They didn't make it.
But perhaps even more unfortunate, some did survive.
Now having gone many years without a sandwich.
And more importantly, without the influence of babes,
the fiew remaining survivors raidly devolved into their true forms.
The forms in which we know them to be today.
They must be avoided at all costs.
They are unable to be reasoned with, and will stop at nothing to get what they want.
And that is exactly why we can't chance it Vanassa.
Look, I'm not exactly excited about it either, but what else are we supposed to do?
We don't have enough energy to make it anywhere else.
Computer, bring the monitor back up.
Sure thing!
Wow it sure looks inviting!
Inviting or not, there is no way we are going down there.
So what, you just want to stay put until we run out of energy completely?
Pushing that button blasted us so far out into the backwoods of the universe that we have no choice but to go down there.
Then you shouldn't have pushed the button, it was pretty clear about not wanting to be pushed.
And what, let those bean bags blast us to smithereens?
At least we're light years away from them now.
Sometimes you have to put yourself into a little bit of danger to escape an immediate threat.
Look, I know that neither of you remember the scrotes the days before the sandwiching, but trust me. You don't want to.
That film pales in comparison to how bad they really were,
and there's no reason to believe the men on this planet won't be just as bad. Or worse!
Come on Ragyna, they can't all be that bad.
Oh yes! Yes they can be!
Computer, you're sure we can refuel on this rock?
According to the limited information I have in my database,
the creatures that inhabit it do seem to occasionally broadcast an energy source that shows
a strong possibility of working as a direct alternate to our host energy source.
Unfortunately I am unable to pinpoint exactly what it is, or when it is broadcast.
But your communicators have been reprogrammed with the ability to track it, and harvest it once you are on it's surface.
Well then it's settled.
Computer, please dress us in current Earth fashions and bring us down, nice and easy.
All right, come on. Franky, everybody, get in here.
Time to eat.
Jeeze, where did you come from?
Go get with your friends.
Gotta grow nice and strong, everybody eat.
Oh yeah. Say hello to daddy sugar tits.
What's that girl? You want me to do what?
Here?
Okay, you're the boss.
Holy shit, what the hell was that?
Something ain't right.
Come on Babes, dial up your communicators to scanning mode.
The sooner we can find this energy source, the sooner we can get back home.
Holy asteroids, space women! Three of them!
Oh man, oh man, oh man, the things I can do with three space women?
Dear Penthouse!
Wait a second, I think I'm picking something up.
Yeah, me too.
Me three, follow me Babes.
Thank you Jesus.
Thank you space Jesus!
There it is.
Shit, oh shit.
Stay!
Don't shoot.
Don't you shoot mister!
Hang on Babes, I don't think that's a weapon.
Hey, watch it!
No, definitely not a gun, but definitely the source of the energy we've been looking for.
Then harvest it.
On it, switching over to extraction mode.
Extraction mode?
Touch it! Touch it first!
What?
Absolutely not!
Why not?
Because we don't even know what it is. It could be dangerous.
Use Protection!
I got a rubber in my wallet.
I don't need any protection. I'm not afraid of this thing.
Greetings Earth creature. My name is Carrieola.
Oh man.
He died?
No, he just fainted.
What did she do to him?
Well Charlie he fainted because what Carrieola did to him made him feel something he'd never felt before.
Huh?
I know you don't think much of girls right now but-
Heck no I don't, girls are gross!
Well I guarantee ya, you know years to come, your opinion is gonna change.
Blech!
Well we can wrap it right now if ya want ya know. He died.
The end. Go the fuck to sleep.
Is that what you want?
No, it's fine. I want to know what happens next.
Well okay then.
He fainted, and the babes didn't know what to do about it.
So they moved him over to a nice soft pile of hay, and tried to figure out what to do next.
Is it okay?
I don't know. But the energy source we were detecting is nowhere to be found now.
Why did you touch it?
Because you told me to.
I did not!
Okay, scan complete, uploading now.
Whatever it was, we'll know soon enough.
Hang on Babes. I think it's waking up.
All right Earthling, where did you hide it?
Hide what?
The energy source you were broadcasting.
Broadcasting?
Yeah, broadcasting. Your antenna was out, and we picked up your signal, loud and clear.
Antenna?
For Salzaron's sake.
Computer, can we get those scan results please?
Sure thing Space Babes!
Hang on, scan results? What did you do to me?
This is a hard one, Babes. Unlike anything in my database.
Come on stop beating around the bush, just tell us what we're dealing with here.
The appendage of the Earthling does seem to be the carrier of the alternate energy source you are after.
Well duh, but the signal's gone limp. How do we get it back up?
Wait, hang on a second.
Touch it, touch it again!
My Zob Ragyna.
Actually, that's exactly what I was gong to suggest.
You can't be serious, what is this thing?
Now, now, now, now, now, now hang on a cotton pickin minute!
That thing, is my dick.
And you can't just go around grabbing them like that!
And even if you could, once you've grabbed it as many times as you did, well-
You gota give it a minute before you can grab it again!
It's sensitive.
Explains the tears.
Oh man, hang on a minute. I don't know where ya'll are from, but-
We're not from here.
Well I am. This here's my parent's barn. My name's Charlie.
Greetings Charlie, I am Vanassa.
Greetings Charlie, I'm Ragyna.
Wow! That sure is an intersting way of saying hello ya'll got.
Down here most folks just shake hands, but-
Now listen. I can hardly make no damn sense of any of this.
But I think I can help ya'll out if you'll let me.
Of course Charlie.
The energy that your doo-hicky picked up, from my dick.
That can make ya'lls ship run and get ya back home ya say, right?
Yes.
Okay. I think this energy is what we down here call sexual energy.
Sexual arousal.
But only when his antenna was out.
Yeah, once your antenna was retracted the energy source was gone.
That's because that antenna, is also, my dick.
That's what it does when it's in it's aroused state. It kinda sticks out like that.
Some fella's call it a boner.
A boner?
Yeah, a boner.
And you're all like this? All of the men on this planet?
Well yeah, basically I guess.
But hell, I think most everybody's gonna be turned on by you three.
And we all got wieners.
Wieners?
Yeah! Dicks, cocks, rods. Wieners!
Then you must take us where we may find more of these at once. No matter how hard, or long-
Or short!
Or mediocre the journey.
Listen, I got just the place for ya'll. You Babes stick with me, you'll be home in no time.
Well, then it's settled.
Charlie, we are the Space Babes from outer space.
We are not from here.
Our visit to your planet was an unfortunate error on our part while fleeing a most dire situation.
We are here merely out of circumstance. We wish your planet no inconvenience.
We are not here with any ill intentions.
No, we are here for your boners.
Your dicks, your cocks, your rods, now Charlie please!
Take us, to your wieners.
Ladies, welcome to the strip club, A.K.A. your fueling station.
If you can't find sexual energy in here, you ain't looking.
Look! Rules are rules.
The shit you two were doing up there was breaking rules I didn't even know I had!
How the fuck did you get your foot all the way up-
And was your elbow actually inside of her-
Aw come on Jerimy, it's Saturday night. You need all the talent you can get in here right now.
Yeah come on, we were just having fun.
And where in the hell did you get so many kumquats this time of year?
Look, you ain't gonna find two other girls tonight, you know that. We ain't going nowhere.
Oh yeah? You two, you're hired.
If you young ladies would please go see Danyelle in the dressing room, thanks.
You two, you're fired, get the fuck out of my bar!
You could at least call us a cab.
Your legs look fine from here baby.
Mmmm. Beat it!
Aaahhh!
What are you doing?
I'm trying to pick up the scent!
Uh, we have a computer for that. Computer. Computer?
You have to be a Space Babe for that to work.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Computer, can you tell me where the Space Babes are?
But Carrieola, you're a Space Babe.
Uh.. Uh.. Uhh..
Tell her you forgot your panties when you left!
Huh huh, Yeah.
I forgot my panties, and then um, I had to go poopy.
Okay then, the Space Babes are located at Night Moves strip club, in Bloomington Indiana.
Huh huh, Huh huh.
Ha ha, ha ha.
To the strip club!
Uh oh, he's right behind me isn't he?
He sure is.
You scrotes better not be jerking me around!
Yes sir General Smotch sir! Dick head! Sir!
Don't be a suck up!
Yep! All right.
Okay. Now try not to worry about your friends.
I know Danyelle, she's a cool chick.
And with your friends dancing tonight, I'm sure they'll raise all kinds of energy.
But there's also a lot of emotions in here that could get in the way.
Emotions?
Yeah, emotions. Jealousy, desire, lust, love.
Love?
Man I don't know how to explain love to you. Most people down here don't even understand it.
Can you try?
Look, all I can tell you is what my daddy told me about being in love when I asked him.
He said Charlie, when you're in it, you know it.
It's stronger than a grizzly bear.
And it'll tickle your tummy like a whole herd of butterflies was just let loose.
He said when you're in love with someone, there ain't nothing can keep ya apart.
Not even death.
Hey there handsome, care for a lap dance?
No, not right now. Thank you.
Okay sugar. If you change your mind come and find me.
My name's Candy.
They call me Candy cause I taste so sweet.
I'm sensing slight arousal from you Charlie. Why didn't you go with her?
I don't know. I think I'd rather just stay with you and talk awhile.
You make me feel smart. And I like teaching you about Earth.
You are smart, and I like learning from you.
Now please, tell me what a lap dance is.
So lap dances are twenty, don't let the douche bags stiff you either.
Gimmie gimme cash up front, if you want to sniff this cunt.
And you let 'em sniff it.
It's a great time filler you do that thing, you just stand there, wiggle it around in their faces.
Every second you're doing that, you're not having to rub your ass up against their tiny limp peckers.
You two know each other, right?
Yes.
Okay. I'll make sure you get paired up on stage together then.
On Stage?
Holy shit. You two are green!
Yeah the stage.
It's like window shopping.
For the customers, and for you.
They'll tip you for your dance.
If they like what they see, they'll wanna go for a lap dance.
So try different stuff, see what they're responding to.
We got a lot of guys in here that are into some weird shit.
Yeah, I'd say. I got a guy that'll pay me to piss on him.
Says it's the only thing that gets him hard.
He likes it running down his face, dripping off of his chin.
There's all sorts of weird shit out there.
Hair, feet, armpit licking, and pissing.
I learn a new one every day.
And that's when the men get boners Charlie?
Boners happen all the time in here.
But yeah, they're most likelyto, come up, during a lap dance.
What about other women?
No!
Women don't have dicks.
At least not, most of them.
No, I mean can a woman get a lap dance?
Oh sure. And I imagine the dancers love it when that happens.
Why?
Women are softer.
Women are better mannered.
Women are-
Women are the worst!
They think because they got a set of tits in here that they can get away with whatever the fuck they want.
They'll reach right up, try and grab you while you're on stage.
You really gotta watch them, more than the men.
Give a lap dance to a bitch, she'll try to cram her filthy toothless mouth on your snatch before you can say-
Two screaming orgasms, courtesy of Jerimy.
You know he won't admit it, but your friends really saved his bacon.
We're running pretty low on talent in here these days.
How are my friends doing?
They're doing great.
They'll actually be up on stage next set.
Is there anything else that I can get you two?
No thank you.
Oh!
Just holler if there's anything else.
Name's Sandy.
You like her don't you?
No, not really.
With her, it's just the curse of being a man.
Curse?
Yeah, curse.
Take a look around.
Plenty of smokin' hot babes in here, all of them wearing next to nothing.
All of them willing to take it off for a few bucks.
And I want to see the waitress naked.
Because I can't.
Men. Our eyes never get their fill.
We're constantly looking for something else.
Especially when it's something we're not supposed to have.
It's hard to explain but, she's not who I want right now.
Who do you want right now Charlie?
Ladies and germs, we got a couple of cherries in here tonight, ripe for the poppin'!
That's right take those hands off of your dicks, and do something useful with them for once.
And put 'em together, and give a warm sticky welcome to Ragyna, and Vanassa.
Well God damn!
I think it's working!
It definitely is, but at this rate it's going to take us days to get the energy we need.
Well, keep trying things.
Maybe we can come across a fetish or something, to help raise the level.
Hey baby.
Why don't you come over here and raise my level?
Hey mister, what turns you on?
Watching you wiggle.
Did you get those panties in space?
Because that ass is out of this world.
From the second son of Salzaron sugar!
What's wrong?
I don't know.
It's like the energy is there, but even with all these men, it's not nearly as strong as yours was.
Well I guess that's just because a boner made with love is more powerful than your average boner.
And your boner was made with love Charlie?
Yeah.
Yeah I think maybe it was.
Damn girl!
Why don't you come over here and let me suck on them big ole titties?
These big ole titties?
There is one other thing we could try.
It's kind of the ultimate display of sexual energy.
Something that we have to do together.
Oh baby, you are so wet.
You're practically dripping aren't you?
I got a guy that will pay me to piss on him.
Oh, you like it wet?
Oh god, do I?
I wanna feel your wetness all over my face!
I wanna feel it, running down my chin.
You're so sweet I'd like that.
I'd, love that. Let's do it.
Let's get out of here.
What's wrong?
Look, I know ya'll are in a hurry to get back home.
But before we can, do it.
You gotta meet my family.
Of course Charlie, I'd love to.
Come on, let's get on with it.
Why don't you pull that string to the side, let's see how wet you really are.
All right big boy.
Here it comes.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
I can't believe that mother fucker made us walk.
Uh, we could have called a cab ourselves ya know?
Uh, and with what money?
We would had money if you didn't stop and buy all those chicken nuggets.
Well you weren't complaining when you ate more than half of those bitch!
They're chicken nuggets, what did you expect?
Hey lady?
Wait, what the fuck was that?
Psst! Hey lady!
Let's not stick around to find out.
God damn it!
Help me pick up all these fucking kumsquats skank!
Fuck you, I ain't picking that shit up, can pick that shit up your damn self.
Pardon me.
Well then you can go fuck off and die bitch!
Hey come on, let me get some!
What?
Where you going?
Lady!
Don't worry, soon we will feast on the flesh of Space Babes!
To the strip club!
Dear Lord, we thank you for this day you've even given us.
We thank you for all the work you've provided to me.
So I can take care of these, good for nothin' kids.
And we thank you Jesus, for uh, the food.
Mother Margo has prepared for us.
And Lord, we thank ya for looking over us.
I personally want to thank you, sweet Jesus.
For Charlie.
Finally bringing home a girl.
It's uh.
Well as you know we've worried for quite some time that he may be queer.
Verdict's still out on Shawn over there, but I suppose two out of three ain't bad.
And lastly Jesus, I wanna thank you for makin' sure that all of us were borned right here in America.
The greatest nation on this here earth.
Amen to ya.
Amen.
So Blondie, you're a uh.
A hooker, right?
Am I a hooker Charlie?
Dad!
I'm just saying!
I mean come on, look at you.
And look at her.
Look at you!
Look at her!
No, no she's not a hooker!
You're not a hooker.
You a cop?
Am I a cop?
No, she's not a cop either!
God damn!
Can we just please, talk about something normal for once?
I mean, I brought a girl here, that's kinda rare to do.
Thought you'd all be on your best behaivor.
How long until that damned turkey's done?
Your mother shit herself today.
Your mother shit herself today!
Hey Shawn, how was school?
I told you, my name isn't Shawn anymore.
It's Aztaroth!
Jessica. How was your day?
Oh you know, I got fucked!
Can we have sex now?
Hooker! Definitely a hooker.
Hooker! Ha ha, Hooker ha ha!
Shh. Shh Mama, mama!
I want to introduce you to Carrieola. She's-
She's not from here.
She needs our wieners!
She needs boners!
To fuel her spaceship!
A spaceship.
That runs.
On.
Boners!
That's nice mama.
That's real nice.
You know when you born Charlie we weren't sure if you'd be able to have sex ever.
Pecker was so small, it wouldn't even stick out.
Didn't even stick out.
Nope, not one iota.
Hell, we thought you were a girl that first few hours.
Okay that is not true.
That's not true.
Sure!
Wasn't nothin' down there!
You were like a damned mannequin!
We were about to take matters into out own hands.
Hell, three seconds more and you would've been Charlene!
I was passing you off to your ma, she was gonna hold you still.
While your granny sliced into that-
Weird, smooth mound of skin you had down there.
And she was gonna, well.
Build you a cooter!
Build you a cooter.
Yep, that's right.
But, there wasn't to be any cooter in his future.
Still ain't!
No, I was so drunk, I didn't notice your mama had a beer in her hand.
She botched the catch.
Dropped you right to that hard hospital floor.
You fell about three feet, dented in your skull a little bit.
We had to give it one of these, to get it to pop back out.
But I tell you what.
You're a Bryant!
And we Bryant's are tough!
Persistent!
No sir, you hit that linoleum and-
Turkey's done!
I don't know where they got that many kumquats this time of year.
Pardon me.
Three bucks cover, two drink minimum.
But seriously, you're our best girl, I would never let that kind of thing happen to you.
Man, I can't believe these disguises worked!
Well you'd be surprised what these humans would fall for.
They're stupid.
I told you bitch, no one lays a hand on my shit or they get's their ass kicked!
How the fuck was I supposed to know they were yours?
Because they was in my fucking locker cunt!
Bitch I took one!
It was only a six piece, you think fucking chicken nuggets grow on trees?
Took some of them fries too.
That does it skank!
You hit like a girl!
Hey, hey, break it up, break it up, break it up!
Listen there's no fighting in here.
I'll send Danyelle out to get you another six piece each.
And a large fry?
And a large fry doll.
Each?
Each.
Now, you know the rules.
That's it.
Let's get this over with now.
Let's kiss and make up.
Kiss her again!
Let us feast, I say we strike now!
Patience my brother.
The Space Babes are who we are here for.
We must not rush into this.
Well, as long as we got some time to kill, I think I'll have a beer!
Yeah, but seriously Charlie, hooker or not.
That sure is one fine piece of tail you brought over, boy oh boy.
I mean, most sane man would kill to have a go at that.
Hell I'd, I tell ya, I'd.
I'd murder this whole fuckin' family just to knock boots with her.
In fact I'd felch my own son's salty semen straight outta her dirty hooker cunt.
Just to get a look at what she's sportin' down there.
Oh geeze thank's dad.
That's awfully kind of you to say, I'm so glad I brought her to meet you guys.
Come on Charlie, I'm just breakin' your balls, huh?
Before she drains 'em!
But seriously Charlie, I uh, I'm real proud of you.
For uh, well bringing home some quality trim that nobody in this family could ever have gotten.
I sure do appreciate it.
It means a lot to me, and your mother there.
Well-
I'm proud of you son.
Thank's dad.
Thanks dad.
Quite proud.
In fact you're the only son I can say that about.
Old asterisk over there, is such a fucking water head.
I can't even count him as a person, he's that dumb.
Why just the other day I caught him lapping out of the toilet.
Down on his hands and knees.
Ugh, like some kind of fucking, bowser.
I may kill him.
I don't know if I feel a damned thing about him.
But uh, you?
I sure do love ya son.
Now Charlie you take that possible hooker out to that barn, and you fuck her like an animal!
Can we have sex now?
Yes!
All right!
Bye mama!
You sit your queer ass down!
All right Charlie!
Oh, now that is a fine cut of puss!
Uh, I'm so hungry!
When will we feast?
The time is nigh my friend.
Try and savor the thrill of the hunt!
But?
All right all right ladies and germs.
Let's hear it one more time for Candy.
You know they call her that, because she tastes so sweet!
But why can't we eat just one?
Come on, you know you can't just eat one.
But, but you got to eat on earlier!
I can eat just one.
Oh really?
And why's that?
Because I have self control.
Oh really!
And I don't?
We both know you don't.
Hey mister, tip me for a dance?
Noooo!!
What the Hell was that?
I don't know, but it sounds like a ball!
I'll check it out.
She was the only clean stripper in this joint!
Uhhh...
Scrotes!
It's go time.
I sure hope Carrieola's having better luck than we are.
Look, I'm really sorry about all that.
I'm old fashioned.
And it's important for me, that my family gets to meet, the girl that I'm going to-
Have sex with?
Yeah.
Also someone that I feel like I really have a connection with.
I just wish they weren't so dang rude!
It'd be nice if my girl and my family could get along.
I thought they were wonderful Charlie.
Come on, you're just being silly now.
No, I mean it.
I mean, your mom's a little weird.
And you're dad's not the nicest.
No.
But, they still raised you.
And I think you turned out pretty okay.
Yeah, I guess I am pretty okay aren't I?
Are you ready?
I think so.
Device has been set to extraction mode.
But, are you ready?
Yes Charlie, I'm ready.
Oh Carrieola.
Charlie?
Carrieola.
Charlie.
Carrieola.
Charlie!
What?
I know you're the one trying to show me something here.
But I think we'd have a lot better luck if you were in my vagina.
Instead of my belly button.
Oh!
Sorry.
There it is.
Oh, Carrieola!
Oh Charlie.
Look's like there's only two of them.
For now.
Come on, I got an idea.
Come on up here babes.
These things feed off of visual stimulation, but they don't know when to quit!
The only way to defeat them is to give them what they want until they can't take it anymore!
Charlie?
What?
Do you mind if I give it a try?
Sure.
Better?
Yes Charlie Yes!
All Right!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes, that's it!
Keep shaking those tits babes!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
It's working Charlie!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
It's working Charlie!
Just keep sexing me!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh my God.
Carrieola!
I'm going to.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Look out!
Oh man.
They jizzed themselves to death.
All right!
Get your asses to the bar, drink's are on me!
Oh my Zob.
No babe, just Charlie.
I'm sorry Charlie.
Sorry for what?
I mean, I just-
I know you tried to tell me how it was going to be, but that was amazing.
Yeah, that was pretty amazing wasn't it?
I had no idea we would make that much energy.
Come on I mean, yeah it was amazing, but-
When can we do it again Charlie?
Now hang on a dog gone minute.
I wonder how the others are doing?
I wonder if they've discovered this?
Surely not on their own.
There's a whole hell of a lot more than just sexual energy going on right now.
I've got to get back to them.
Just listen to me for a second.
Charlie I've got to do this to more men.
You've got to take me to do this to more men.
Carrie?
Didn't you feel anything?
Of course I did Charlie.
What we did in this barn was amazing.
I've never experienced anything like it.
I felt a connection between us that I've never felt with anyone my whole life.
But feeling's won't get me and my Babe's back home.
And we've got to get back home.
And to do that I've got to get back to that strip club and sex as many men as I can.
This energy, it's on a whole other level.
I've never felt anything like it.
It's strong.
Stronger than a grizzly bear.
Yeah.
Well you Babe's are all right in my book.
Hell yeah you are.
I don't know where you Babe's learned that, but you sure taught us a thing or two about titty bouncing.
Where you two from anyway?
We're not from here.
Well Hell yeah!
Carrieola!
Oh hey Babe, you sure missed a party here.
Carrieola!
Would you like to sex me?
Well hell yeah!
Women. They sure are pretty to look at.
But you ain't never gonna make them understand you.
And you ain't ever gonna understand them.
Yeah, you're telling me pal.
Listen, the sooner you come to terms with the fact that they're not even the same species as us?
The sooner you're gonna be happy.
I think I'm coming to terms with that.
Look you're not listening to me bud.
Stop over thinking it. Just face the music.
I don't know this chick you're hung up on.
And it doesn't matter. Because they're all the same.
Just like we're all the same.
It isn't a bad thing, it just is what it is.
Women, they don't think about shit the way we do.
And we don't think about shit the way they do.
You two are gonna be okay.
Just remember-
You're a man, and she's a woman.
You're not even from the same planet.
You know what? You're right!
Sure am bud.
It doesn't matter what I say or do.
She's gonna come to her own conclusion on her own time!
Preach it brother.
I'm gonna get her.
And I'm gonna tell her that it's okay she doesn't understand.
Church!
And that's okay, because I don't even understand.
Hallelujah!
And if it takes us the rest of our dag burned lives to figure it out.
Well, we're gonna figure it out together!
Lord have mercy!
God damn.
Charlie!
Not now darlin'.
Oh Charlie!
Take a seat sweety.
We'd like you to accept this flower-
No thank's pal!
Get a room ladies!
Carrieola, I need you to listen to me!
Now I know you might not understand.
And that's okay, because I don't even understand.
But what happened between us back in the barn, that was something special.
You said it yourself, you felt a connection.
And that connection is something we people down here spend our entire lives looking for.
And if you're lucky enough to find that one person in this world, or any other world-
Well, you can't just ignore that!
Now whoever you're in there with-
It's Jake!
Okay, Jake.
Now I'm sure you're showing Jake a really great time.
And Jethro!
And Jethro?
But, the connection you felt, between me and you.
Well you're not gonna get that with Jake and Jethro.
And Carl.
I think I saw Jimmy in here too!
Yeah that was me Bobby, sorry about grabbing your ass earlier.
Come on! Enough's enough.
I'm coming in there.
That's a good boy!
Oh my God, I'm gonna throw up!
There.
You haven't seen a girl that I was in here earlier with have you?
Blonde?
Yeah I uh, saw her with some drunk guy in the pool room.
Thanks.
You mind if I use that sink real quick?
Go ahead.
I just don't understand it Charlie.
Everything felt so right with you.
And then I get back here, and it's totally different.
He had a boner! The energy was there.
But I just couldn't.
I didn't even want to.
All I could think about was you, and how it was with you.
I tried to close my eyes and pretend he was you.
But even that didn't work.
And I felt like I was gonna get sick.
But then in a second, everything changed.
And I was back in that barn.
With you.
And then my stomach felt really wierd.
But not sick like before.
It was, it was like.
It was, it was like-
Like a whole herd of butterflies was just let loose?
Yeah.
It's time to get out of here Carrieola.
The good news is we have enough energy to get back home.
The bad news is, there's more scrotes on the way.
We have to hit the road before they get down here and cause anymore trouble.
Take us home Charlie.
They're not really gonna leave him, are they?
Well what do you think's gonna happen?
Their Space Babes Charlie, they're not from here.
She can't just leave him, she can't!
Calm down now, one thing fairy tales all have in common, adult or not-
Is a happy ending.
Now you gonna let me finish this story or not?
Okay, let's finish the story.
Okay now where were we?
Oh yeah right.
Charlie and the Babes left the titty bar, and were on their way back to the barn.
So I guess this is goodbye huh?
Yeah, I guess it is.
You do know she's gonna want to take him back with us, right?
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's not going to want to leave his home.
What if she wants to stay here?
Come on, you can't be serious.
Go get her communicator, we're going to need to upload her energy too.
Charlie I don't know what to do.
Do what your heart tells you.
I'm trying.
You about ready to get off this rock?
Yeah, just give me a minute.
Give me your communicator and I will.
We need to upload your energy onto the ship.
But you won't have much more than a minute.
She's fueling up and we're taking off in five.
Do you remember the first thing you said to me?
When you first saw me?
When I first saw you.
You said stay.
Please Carrie, don't let that be the last thing I say to you.
I can't.
Look, either we're both staying, or we're both leaving.
We can try to talk and decide which one it is.
But it doesn't matter, because I love you.
Do you love me?
I, I think I do.
Carrie, that makes us in love.
And you remember what my daddy told me about being in love.
Charlie look out!
No, I'm pretty sure I told you back at the bar, he said-
Carrie!
I'm gonna give you the shaft!
Noooooooo!
You've overstayed your welcome bean bag!
Computer!
Blast this nut sack to smithereens!
I'd love to do that Babes, but this nut sack has overridden my system, and has control over all of my circuitry.
The whole situation is quite Shit.
You Space Babes never did know how to keep your pie holes shut!
Quick, let's get out of here!
Computer!
Open up energy release valve!
Sorry Babes.
You Salzarion son of a skankazoid!
And now that I know you won't be running away.
I'm gonna take my time and savor you!
Oh man, I think I got a rumbly in my tumbly!
Oh man, I think I need to lay down!
I don't feel so good!
Oh is this the way I end?
I'm coming to see you Elizabeth!
Oh my goodness.
Hang on Babes, this ain't over yet!
Why oh Why! Oh it's the big one!
You just gotta stay down!
No matter how hard you fight me, in the end you're still just a Weak!
Little!
Girl!
Oh man, I knew it!
Check it out!
Don't!
Call!
Me!
Girl!
I'm a Space Babe.
Why the Hell did you push me out of the way, you could have been killed.
I thought you were dead.
I thought we were all dead.
Are you okay?
I'm fine Charlie, really I'm fine.
I guess we really are in love.
Yeah, I guess we are.
Just me and you, against the whole universe.
Ain't nothin' gonna keep us apart.
Not even death.
I hate to break up this emotional moment,
but that sad sack did release all of our energy into the atmosphere before you ripped him inside out.
I do not want to be stuck on this rock another minute.
What are we going to do?
Well I don't think we have much of a choice.
We'll pack it in for tonight and get some rest,
and then tomorrow we'll go back to the strip club and start all over again.
Oh my Zob.
I don't think I can go back to that place.
It smells like cotton candy and shame.
Look I don't want to either.
But I don't know what else we can do.
We need sexual energy, and a lot of it.
Does anybody else have any bright ideas?
I think we've got an idea.
Computer!
Prepare for launch.
Alert the folk's back at T.C. that we're bringing one back with us.
Take us home!
Her majesty has given the go ahead on our re-entry into the Salzarion system.
And the Titty city welcoming committee is on standby.
Prepare for landing in five-
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Gloss up Babes.
I have a feeling there's going to be welcoming party waiting for us.
They're going to get a real kick out of you.
Charlie, welcome to Titty City!
That's it?
That's it.
You're kidding me.
You're not going to tell me what Titty City looks like?
Well, I mean, I don't think you're reay for that quite yet.
What a crock of shit!
Hey now, I'm the boss here, and I'm not sure if you're ready for that part of the story just yet.
I feel ready.
Well, maybe another time Charlie.
I've kept you up long enough.
And besides, some things are better left to the imagination.
Sweet dreams.