Previously on "Heels"...
Jack, I've got to get a job.
And we're gonna hold a press conference.
Oww!
You will do nothing until we speak in person.
Well, dang.
-'Sup, Tricia? -I get off in an hour.
You should stay and flirt.
I'm just a valet. I gotta fly low right now.
You are not just a valet. You are really talented.
You're the one that should be getting the push.
You got shit-canned, didn't you?
Oh, you think I fucked that up? Your life ain't so perfect.
I didn't say it was.
And that daughter you can't fucking stand.
Too bad I wasn't around
to pay for that abortion too.
Bye, Bill.
Fucking people and all their bullshit,
their untested manhood.
Makes me want to step on a frog.
Somebody keyed my Bronco.
Reckon you got it in you, too,
just like your dad.
He played nice for the crowds, but Tom had a vicious side.
You tap that vein,
riches'll flow.
Boo!
I can't tell y'all how upsetting this is.
To be booed by you,
a bunch of wannabes and never-weres.
Irrelevant dopes who hate Ace and me
for being what they wish they were.
Two perfect physical specimens
at the height of our powers.
And let me be crystal clear.
We only care about one thing,
and that is the DWL title belt.
We are coming for it with hostility in our hearts.
We're gonna take you down, Jack Spade!
But first,
we're gonna crush the pitiful, puny dreams
of that mama's boy Bobby Pin.
Willie, can you kick up the lights, please?
That's really fucking good.
I don't get this promo, man.
All the talking, it ruins the suspense.
And "crystal clear"? Come on. Nah.
-I like it. -I don't.
What? You want me to shave a little attitude off?
I-I'm with Ace on this one.
Gonna dump the promo.
I want you two to run the ending again.
It's getting late.
Hey, Crystal.
Look, whether you get to run your mouth or not,
right, you're in the main event.
That's big for us. It's big for your character.
Now I know that you can memorize lines like that
and deliver them that well,
I'm gonna write for you.
It's good work.
Missy,
why don't you buy yourself a new outfit, okay?
And include a bra. It's a family show.
Let's leave the nipples to the imagination.
-Hey, Jack. -Yeah?
Me and Diego got something bangin' for the show.
I know you gon' rock with it.
-You wanna see? -Sure. Yeah.
Is that a "sure" sure or a "shut up" sure?
We gotta nail this ending here first.
Hey, so, Ace, you're on the ground.
Right, he's cooked.
I'm happy with that because, as the guest referee,
I want you to lose so I won't have to face you again.
Then Bobby, get your ass up there for the frog splash.
It's where you stretch your body out.
Like a fucking frog, dumbass.
Bobby, top turnbuckle.
Crystal, stop helping him.
"Don't you dare take a cheap shot
"while he's down.
Fight like a man!"
"A real man shows no mercy."
Bobby, that was terrible.
Bobby, balance first, then leap.
Commit and you're good.
-This is Willie.
How did no one tell me he's afraid of heights?
He's not afraid of heights.
He 100% is.
That wasn't even that high.
It's like jumping off a fucking couch.
I've done it plenty of times.
Hey, Jack, it's South Georgia State Fair.
Well, tell 'em we don't have money to advertise with them.
About us performing in the fair.
We gon' take that in my office.
Bobby, grow a fucking pair and do it again.
Greetings.
I have some apologies to make.
I am sorry that I used language that has...
apparently caused some unspecified people pain.
And ever since I was young, I've feared flying.
I mishandled medicating my nerves.
The result is me standing here today,
in the public square, groveling.
Are you ashamed that you got naked?
Hell, no.
Fifty percent of the world population is male.
It should not be shocking to see a man naked.
Some consider this kind of behavior toxic masculinity.
Psychologists believe that
this kind of behavior
may be tied to my getting circumcised the day I was born,
as if, deep down, I'm still that butchered little boy
pulling it out to show everyone,
"Look at the horrible thing they did to me."
Isn't circumcision about hygiene?
Ma'am, every third daydream a man has
is about putting his penis into someone else's mouth.
The other two are about putting it other places.
Circumcision is primeval cruelty.
It's time for "our bodies, our choice"
to also apply to boys' foreskins.
Jesus Mary and Joseph...
But look, there's a time and place for male nudity
and it's not midair on a commercial jetliner.
You fly private, that's a different discussion entirely.
There's rumors you've been fired.
Well, like many long-serving employees
of American corporations,
I've been abandoned.
What do you call an entertainment empire
built upon the broken bodies of men and women who,
once the juice is squeezed out,
are kicked to the curb?
No safety net other than drugs, alcohol,
and self-inflicted gunshots.
The National Football League?
After a stint in rehab, I'll be back.
Thank you.
What the fuck was that?
That, my dear, is called a deflection.
Hey, Dad.
If you call and I don't pick up,
I'm gon' be at work, and they got rules there, so.
I'm trying to make the right impression on my first day.
Just happy to be getting out of the house.
But hey, will you try texting me?
I know how much you hate that,
but that is the world we're living in.
So I would appreciate it.
All right, I love you. Bye-bye.
-What do you say? -Thanks.
It's gon' ruin your hips...
and your knees.
Running puts mileage on 'em.
Ruins 'em.
How's Ace?
-Oh, he's great. -Bullshit.
Look, Jack, I know you're busy--
Get lost, Bill.
Busy growing your daddy's little weed
into a big weed.
Here's the thing about weeds.
You need somebody to help 'em grow.
I was thinking I might be of use to you.
Willie told me what you said.
I was hammered and I blurted something stupid.
Sometimes when you drink and blurt, you hurt.
I won't apologize for there still being a spark
between Willie and I.
It's a burden that sometimes blinds our encounters.
Jack, you need my expertise.
You don't know, really, what the fuck you're doing.
You know some.
I can turn "some" into something much more.
I should kick your fucking ass.
Getting a bit huffy, son.
I should kick your fucking ass right now
till you beg for mercy.
-Easy. -It would be easy.
-Not sure about that. -I'd laugh the whole time.
Now you're turning me on.
Bill...
you're down on your luck.
It's not gonna change around here.
So I'm gonna say this again, and if you don't do it,
I'm gonna see to it that you do.
You get lost, you fucking monkey.
Hey! Thomas.
Uh, I'm gonna hop in the shower,
then you and me gonna hit the road.
-So ready up, please. -All right.
Thank you.
Mm, ladies and gentlemen, Jack Spade is in the building.
And, ooh, oh, my Lord is he impressive!
I have never seen a man so sexy
and handsome...
and sweaty and stanky.
-Ooh! -Well...
DWL at the State Fair. Jack, that is so exciting.
It's exciting, but I'm nervous
'cause I gotta close the deal and I can't seem desperate.
Mm-kay.
Maybe I can help calm your nerves.
Calm me down with the whole deal
or, like, a half deal?
What kind of deal you thinking?
I got time for a handshake deal.
You give the best handshakes.
All right, well, let's at least get to the bathroom.
Yeah.
I'm ready, Dad!
Hey uh, that's real good work, buddy,
but dad's gon' need about... four to six minutes.
Talk about pressure.
Well, I believe in you.
Hey, how's Thomas gonna occupy himself
when you're talking to the State Fair people?
I'ma give my phone to T.
I got all the games on my phone.
If he brings up wanting to get a pet gerbil, say no.
Okay.
And for dinner, he hates chicken fingers now.
And he already had a donut, so no ice cream or fried dough.
Okay, uh, well,
that-that-that's opposite of arousing.
I'm expecting reciprocity.
Oh, if I book the State Fair,
I'm gon' get you every night this week, two times.
Promises, promises.
Wow, that's-- ooh, you're raring to go.
Well, don't stop then.
This is my work shirt.
I'll get in front of you.
Hi. Uh, Tucker?
Yeah, Reds over Cardinals.
100 bucks. Run line.
Thanks.
Hey, buddy, we're gon' meet some folks later
and they might ask you why you like coming to the matches.
And you know, you just-- you tell them that we put on
some good, old-fashioned family entertainment, all right?
Dad, our class gerbil had babies.
Okay.
Ms. Brickey said I could have one.
You know, growing up,
I-I-I knew a kid that used to steal gerbils
and feed 'em to a snake.
That's kind of mean a boy did that.
That kid was a girl.
Kristine Lang.
Those gerbils must have been scared.
Wonder how long it took them to die.
We're gon' get you a gerbil,
but you gotta promise me right here and now,
you gotta look out for it.
You gotta be the gerbil king.
Keep it away from kids and cats and snakes, all right?
I will, Dad.
I promise I will. Thank you.
Bobby Pin's got a new tag partner.
Ace gon' be crying again.
Yeah.
Are we still getting you a new costume?
I got it set aside at the mall.
Just need this money.
So say a prayer to the gambling gods.
Nobody ever won a bet watching.
That's not true, but it's sweet.
Hey, Crystal, where's Ace?
I don't know where he is.
Well, you should. You're his valet.
Go find him. For fuck's sake.
-Hey, Thomas. -Hey, Willie.
There's my guy.
Thomas, where you been, bro?
All right, gather round, y'all!
Well, we got the same old show tonight, all right?
Same asses in the seats.
Gon' sign the same autographs.
Same lights in your eyes.
Same sweat. Same grind.
It's the same old, same old.
Well, except for one thing.
Right over there, we're gonna have three people
from the South Georgia State Fair Commission
here to see y'all,
here to watch our fans go crazy for all of you.
We're gonna give these people one hell of a night.
We're gonna finish it in the cage.
Now, if they like what they see--
and I promise you,
they will--
about a month from now,
y'all are gonna be performing for 10,000 folks.
So it's not the same old, same old.
I want y'all to destroy for these people tonight!
-Yeah!
Now, here to read the rundown,
may I introduce to you,
Mr. Thomas Patrick Spade!
-Thomas!
All right, men, listen up.
Come on. One time.
It is...go!
-Two-run homerun! Reds win! -Oh! You got it! You got it!
-You got it! Whoo!
-Whoo! -I got money!
-Yeah! -I got money.
How much money did you get off of it?
Enough to get my whole outfit.
-Yeah!
Thank you.
Hurry up. We're gonna be late.
You're late. I ain't late.
You're the one who had to have Church's.
KFC would have been fine.
Well, excuse me for considering my digestion.
All right, I went ahead
and confirmed your dinner
with the State Fair woman.
Her name is Constance.
Thank you. Look who woke up.
Sorry, phone died. 'Sup, stud?
-Hey, Uncle Ace. -'Sup, y'all?
Y'all know Tricia.
-Nope. -Nuh-uh.
I bartend down at Cooper's.
Tricia's my new valet.
Hey, Howard?
I organized these by expiration date, then, within that,
I alphabetized them according to SKU.
Though if the scanner gun breaks, that may not matter.
Staci, are you gunning for my job on the first day?
No.
All right. Keep up the good work.
Oh, no worries. I got it.
I got you. I got it.
Staci Spade.
You work here?
I do, Bill. You shop here?
I'm back in town for a bit, yes.
Keeps me grounded to purchase my sustenance
amongst poor, hardworking folks.
Sorry the pickles slipped. Got a touch of arthritis.
These hands of mine have been in lots of places,
but I don't kiss and tell,
so you gon' have to ask around.
Uh, you don't have to say something gross to impress me.
Why do you think I'd say something gross?
Well, isn't that your character?
Saying gross and nasty things.
Only when I'm in the ring.
Outside the ring, I'm a regular choir boy.
Money must be getting tight at home.
Jack making you work now?
No, things don't work like that at our house, Bill.
My working's my choice.
Enjoy it.
Never know when you might be unexpectedly unemployed.
Things can be humming along and, bam!
Almost had us a "Lady and the Tramp" moment there.
Okay.
Jeez, Jack really did a number on me with you.
I don't get why y'all gotta hate an old family friend.
An old family friend wouldn't come down here
and poach Ace.
Only the envious would consider
Ace's opportunity as poaching.
You wanna stick it to Jack, I guess,
'cause he reminds you of Tom?
Jack ain't half the talent his daddy was,
but he sure is the same cocky somebitch
whose arrogance seems a bit misplaced
considering his staggering lack of accomplishments.
He's a good man.
A great man who works hard to support his family.
Yet, he's failing miserably.
Look at you, Queen of the DWL, down on her knees,
hands on my pickle.
Fuck you, you piece of shit.
-Is everything okay? -Oh, yes, sir.
Just had a mishap and this kind duchess here was assisting me.
Oh, well, you don't have to clean up, sir.
We'll take care of it.
Staci, will you please grab a broom
before this gentleman cuts himself?
Yup. I'm on it, Howard.
Right away.
Be sure to stop at the soap aisle,
wash out that mouth of yours.
You know, Jack's breathing new life into the DWL
while also building the kind of family life you'll never have.
Long as he doesn't do like Tom, put a gun in his mouth,
it's a win.
Fuck you, you sad, pathetic, piece of shit.
Once Jack lands the South Georgia State Fair
tonight, he's gon' prove you wrong.
Not that he fancies to impress a fool.
State Fair, huh?
Hoo.
That is a big stage.
Looking forward to see how the Spades fuck that one up.
What do you think?
Wow.
Uh, "wow" is good, but for 109 bucks,
I need at least good.
You look great.
You look great with nothing on--anything.
Yeah.
Ah.
All right, Roo.
Ah! Ah!
You're killing me, Diego.
Oh, no.
Ah!
And that's when you holler for the medics.
"Help, medics, help. He's hurt."
Yup, and then that's when the fake medics
-come out with a stretcher. -Right. Mm-hmm.
And then I give a thumbs up to the crowd with my good arm.
-We high five. -Yeah!
'Cause you know, the DWL is all about
-friendship and camaraderie. -Mm-hmm.
And those stuffed-shirt State Fair asses
that Jack's kissing,
they gon' love it.
Ain't that right, Thomas?
Rooster, that was so good.
I thought you were really hurt.
Yes, you did, 'cause I'm good like that.
But what if you got hurt for real?
Oh, that ain't gonna happen. Know how I know?
'Cause I ain't working with Bobby Pin's rookie ass tonight.
It's all right. My rookie ass can take it.
Guys.
I'm okay. My dad says that word.
See, if it was a real injury,
Diego would put up the X with his arms like that.
-Then-- -They'd probably send out
some fake-ass medics.
-Well.
Hey, Crystal and Bobby,
Jack wants to see y'all in his office.
Hey, Crystal, take a seat.
Ace and I have been talking about
a couple of different ideas.
We're gonna go in a bit of a different direction tonight.
Y'all two will stay together through autographs.
You go down to the ring together,
but then he's gonna grab a mic
and tell the crowd that the two of you are breaking up
because he caught you going behind his back with Bobby Pin.
Bobby, we're gonna shoot
some photographs of the two of you
that Ace can wave around in the ring
as proof of the infidelity.
Shouldn't be hard for the audience to see.
Can't exactly beam 'em up
on a fucking jumbotron, can we?
The technology exists.
-Just saying. -Thank you, Debbie.
You got a spare jumbotron, Debbie?
-I do not. -Thank you, Debbie.
Bobby, the angle's gonna be
that the two of y'all are in love.
Cool.
Ace, what is this?
Hey, Crystal,
this is my call.
Then Ace'll say...
"You may think it's love,
but she'll break your heart just as she broke mine."
Uh, "Lucky for me,
"there's plenty of fish in the sea
and I got the biggest rod."
Ace, y-your fucking ad-libs. For Christ's sake.
Come on.
"Lucky for me, I got a new valet.
Duffy, meet Tricia."
Then I guess I'll just go out there and do like--
Not much of anything, sweetheart.
Oh, come on.
I thought I'd do, like, a cartwheel or something.
But you won't.
Bobby, we're gonna keep y'all two together
for the next little bit.
Y'all good?
Yup.
Yeah.
Well, um,
uh, w-when Bobby gets up on the ropes
to do the frog splash,
I'm supposed to distract him,
so...
What? Is-is, uh, she gonna do it now?
No, I'm gonna do that now,
with the hook being that I just need my rematch with Ace.
Yeah.
It's good. It-it's better, probably.
All right, Crystal, go change your outfit.
And then you and Bobby meet me
in the washroom, ten minutes, for photos.
Jack, you need to head out to dinner.
All right, well, thank y'all for being flexible.
Debbie's gonna handle the autographs
'cause I won't be here for prep with Willie,
but uh, we are gonna be amazing tonight.
All of us.
We're gonna wow the state fair people,
we're gonna close the deal,
and all of our fortunes will change.
I love it.
Ace.
You could have just talked to me.
Why are you doing this?
I'm doing what's best for my character, Crystal.
It's a better story. You said so yourself.
It's nothing personal. It's business.
I used to be a cheerleader.
Varsity, two years.
Hope we didn't get stood up.
Why did Grandpa Tom
gives the DWL to you and not Ace?
Well, 'cause I'm older. Because I wanted it.
Uncle Ace wanted something different,
but now he's more invested.
Did Uncle Ace want to be bad?
No, he did not.
No, that was the decision that I made
'cause I write the shows.
I made him turn heel.
But Uncle Ace is a good person.
Right. No, his character's bad.
Your uncle Ace isn't bad.
Same as me when I'm just playing bad guys.
Why do you have to?
'Cause bad guys exist and people want to see things
portrayed that exist in real life.
That's why me and your mama
are raising a good guy like you--
to offset the bad.
And I think it's what's best for the story.
That's all wrestling is, buddy. It's just stories.
So I guess we have two valets now?
Willie, if this is such an important event,
then why is Jack relying on a new valet
like Tricia fucking Bell?
Jack likes excitement. I don't know.
I just know his gut instincts. We follow 'em.
We're better off.
Willie, what are you doing down there?
Getting the picture.
Trying to make it look cleaner,
like I'm sneaking.
Go on, get your hands all over one another.
Like you're about to have sex.
I'll count us in. On three. Ready?
-Yeah. -One, two, three.
Christ. It's like you're related.
And not in the hot way. Good Lord.
Bobby. Pull her in.
We're not doing an immaculate conception plotline.
Theoretically, this girl gives you a boner.
-Okay, you sit here. -Mm-hmm.
I'm going to straddle you. Cool?
Okay.
Just gonna get right...okay.
Okay.
That's it. Off to print 'em.
Sorry.
-Have a great show. -You too.
I'm gonna just...
There we go.
All right.
Okay.
I don't know much about wrestling.
I grew up a big SCC football fan.
Oh, me too. Go, Dawgs.
I went to Auburn.
Well, I'm so sorry to hear that.
I'm more of a "Jeopardy!" kind of guy.
Yeah, and I can speak on musical theater
and figure skating.
Which is to say, we are not wrestling aficionados,
but we're intrigued about adding wrestling
to our attractions.
And we got a 10,000-seat arena.
Constance came on board to rethink our engagement points,
how to bring more people in and entertain them better.
Yeah, I'm sure you're wondering why
you got this call out of the blue, Jack,
but our research has vetted
how popular independent professional wrestling is
throughout Georgia, Alabama, and North Florida.
Some of our junior team members
delved into your social media posts,
your promos, your products.
I mean, it is very impressive.
Well, thank you. We sure do work hard.
Uh, a little-little background, here.
My dad created the league about 30 years ago
and, uh, people in Duffy still come out every weekend
because he built something
that people really feel like they're a part of.
I mean, we're Duffy. We're not--we're not Atlanta.
We don't have the Braves or the Hawks
or NASCAR or the Falcons.
We've got the DWL belt.
It's our championship, and--
and people feel like they're a part of it
'cause of our authenticity.
But how do you keep the fans excited
when none of it's real?
It's a story.
Like, a real story.
Like Ace.
He's the hero, and everyone loves him
because he's just, like, a good person.
But then he lost to my daddy
and he just couldn't take it that he was the loser.
So then he became a heel.
A-a heel?
-Yeah, a bad guy. -Oh.
And now he wants revenge. Like, he's really mad.
Like, really, really mad at my dad
to prove everyone was wrong.
And you go to the show and you're just, like,
waiting to see what he's gonna do.
Is he gonna remember he's a good person?
Or does he care too much about winning,
that, when the ref has his back turned,
he's gonna do something like kick my daddy
where the sun don't shine?
-My goodness.
I wish I could tell you that I wrote that for him,
but my scripts are rarely that concise.
We're thrilled that you're here
and we've got a great show planned for y'all tonight.
You can ask me anything,
and as long as you don't make me spill any trade secrets,
I can explain to you why we're a good fit for your fair.
Have a good one.
You don't need to do this. We're a good team.
Were.
There you go.
Oh, hey, make sure he spelled Ace correctly.
Those three-letter words can get mighty complicated.
-That's Wild Bill! -Hello, beautiful.
-I ain't gon' bite you.
That'll be 15 even.
I'm sorry. I got nothing smaller.
Thank you.
I gotta take a leak.
It takes a lady to tamp down the envy
of a juvenile jackass like Ace.
Valets rarely get the credit.
Shit, if it weren't for the tenacity
of some of my old gals,
I'd have never made it to the stage half the time.
Wild Bill, can we take a picture?
Sure. Snap away. Here to please.
What the hell you think you're doing?
She's not taking the photo.
She's gon' be in it.
Will somebody take our photo, please?
Gonna be worth money soon.
Mark my words. She's a star.
Smile for the camera. You're not going anywhere.
You're blowing up.
Hello, Bill.
Sweet Debbie, my dear. How are you?
Fine. And I don't want to get in the middle here,
but that is where I am now.
I was told Jack told you to stay away from here.
Well, Jack was talking 'bout a lot of things,
the most intriguing of which was the promise
he and I would have some fun together.
It sounded so tempting, I showed up.
-Yeah, don't try to-- -Hey, Bill.
One more, Bill. Please.
Put him in a headlock, Bill.
-Just trying to help y'all
make a good impression for the State Fair delegation.
I know how important it is for y'all to succeed
so this place doesn't fold and put everyone out of work.
You've known me since way back when I was a rook.
You know my intentional heart.
Just...
sit in the crowd where Jack can't see you.
And please try to keep your clothes on.
Oh, there's the Debbie I know.
Shut up.
You were a big help at dinner, buddy.
Can we go to Ms. Brickey's house
to get the gerbil after the show?
We can go tomorrow.
You want me to get you a seat up there
by ringside, front row?
Nah, I wanna be backstage with you.
I like watching you work and all.
You think this might actually work?
Like, maybe we'll get to perform
in front of 10,000 people?
This not good enough for you?
Ten thousand people.
Everything Tom Spade dreamed of doing.
-It's cool. -It is cool.
Good luck, man.
Yo, it's packed out there, man.
What's good for Jack clearly ain't good for me.
I got value. I got skills.
Either Jack don't see it or he don't want to.
Dude, every day, it's the same fucking story
with you lately.
I mean, you're in here bellyaching
'cause Jack's giving me the push tonight
in the Battle Royal and I'm supposed to feel sorry?
I don't give a shit about any of this, okay?
About Jack,
about who wins the stupid Battle Royal
or the belt.
I mean, I just want to wrestle.
Look, man,
you and I are the last two men standing in the battle tonight.
What if you won, huh? Who would care?
Yeah, you wanna win?
Win. I'll fall out the ring. You'll be champ.
Jack would lose his shit.
I'll say I tripped.
You're my friend.
I want you happy. Not him.
All right?
Come on, baby. Shit.
Hey!
Did you seal the deal?
Uh, well, if we have a good show tonight, it's ours.
Then let's good-show this shit.
Pardon me, Thomas.
So uptight.
Good luck tonight.
Mind if I give you some advice?
I'm not really a part of the show tonight,
so it's not necessary.
The attention you got at autographs is any indication,
you're a big part of every show.
So when you walk out to the ring,
pull your hair back so the crowd can really see you.
Your pretty face is a bigger draw than any muscles.
Why else would Ace be so caustic?
He's jealous.
I'd be jealous too if I had a valet
getting bigger pops than I was.
Well, I'm not Ace's valet after tonight.
Script has me getting dumped 'cause I was caught cheating.
Shit.
Jack can be so... short-sighted.
Protecting the feelings of his man-child brother.
In my day, these things weren't so scripted.
This league's got some buzz
'cause he went off script with the Duffy screw-job on Ace.
If Jack was smart, he'd mine that drama.
Let it be dramatic, improvisational.
Crowds believe it most when you say what you really feel.
You got chops.
So if you get a feeling, lean into it.
If it's not scripted as your time,
seize the moment and make it your time.
Make everybody else react to what you do.
That's called self-determination.
Maybe this is just the wrong place for me.
Mm.
Fortune must be enticed to reveal itself.
Just gotta open your heart and have fun.
That's the point anyway, isn't it?
Now, before we start tonight...
I got something important I wanna say.
Little secret I found out about my very own valet, Crystal.
Yeah, that's right, Crystal.
I know you've been sneaking around behind my back
with Bobby Pin.
-That's sad. -What?
You thought I wouldn't find out?
That you could just play both sides
till one of us was crowned champ
and you'd make your decision
and claim your spot on the throne as queen?
I made you what you are!
And you repay me with this?
Hey, you missed coming out with the photos.
You filthy piece of trailer trash!
I pulled you out of the dump!
Now I'm sending you back to that rat's nest
so you can hustle tricks as a cam girl
till you wind up dead!
-That was good, Dad. -Thank you, buddy.
Uh, can you run on downstairs, grab us a few Cokes, please?
Thank you.
Hey,
we gotta ratchet it back real quick
with the whole "rot till you're dead, cam girl" stuff.
But I'm a heel now.
I'm not supposed to care about her feelings.
The lines I wrote will turn the audience against her.
Just say the lines I wrote.
It's a family show.
Hey, Battle Royal's heating up.
Main event in moments. Places, fellas.
Ah!
-How do they not get hurt? -Every one of them on drugs.
How have I never been to one of these before?
This is awesome.
Hey, good luck, everyone. Let's crush it.
Something you wanna say?
I just know a place you can get your roots done
where your hair won't look so bleached.
Mm.
-I was trying to be helpful! -Hey, ladies.
-Okay, okay, ladies. -Hey, get the fuck off her.
-I was trying to help, man. -Help yourself, man.
Hey! Cool it, God damn it.
You're not seriously crying, right?
You shut your fucking mouth or I'll shut it for you.
There. That should hold.
Hey.
-Are we all good? -Yeah.
What are they doing?
Hey, Rooster.
Rooster! Rooster!
-Rooster! Rooster! -Come on, man.
Do it.
-Rooster! Rooster! -No.
Rooster! Rooster!
You sure?
Yeah, baby, whoo!
You had me worried there for a second.
Thought y'all were gonna throw Diego out.
Hey, I need to let you improvise more, okay?
Admitted. Crowd loved it.
What's my name?
Rooster.
What's my real name?
Deandre Milton Rutherford.
I know your legal name because I pay you by check
and I give you a 1099.
You go by Dee to your family
and you go by DA to your friends,
which I know because you're always talking
with your fucking speakerphone on in the locker room.
And like I said, your stage name is Rooster.
Now, I know that things have been crazy around here,
but please, please, please,
do not make me out to be somebody that I'm not.
I'm not a man who doesn't know your name.
I know all four of them,
and I'll call you any one that you want me to.
Tonight was about respect, recognition,
and success for everyone here, which clearly includes you.
So this time tomorrow,
if there's anything that I can do
to alleviate these frustrations
that you're clearly having, I will try.
And your moment in the sun is gon' come.
Thank you very much for your work tonight.
You crushed.
All right. Hey!
-There he is. Yeah, D!
-Way to go, brother!
-Yee! -Yeah, D!
What is a cage match?
I looked it up. First one who climbs out wins.
Jack, you're on.
Good luck, babe.
Hey, Ace.
Photos are in here.
Thanks.
Now, before we get started,
I got something important I want--
I have a confession to make.
Ace Spade...
I been cheating on you with Bobby Pin.
But that's not my confession.
My confession is
I'm not the least bit sorry about it.
The thing is, Ace, you can't satisfy me.
I need a man, not a crybaby boy.
But hey, don't worry.
You're so lucky
'cause sometimes,
you find someone more pathetic than you.
Hey, uh, Tricia, you know I'm talking about you.
Get that bony behind out here.
Think that's your cue, sweetheart.
Did she just say I have a bony behind?
Take it as a compliment.
It'll expand eventually.
Move it!
-Jesus.
Folks, I wanna introduce y'all to Tricia.
There she is.
Now, hold on.
Now, I'm thankful for this-- this little lady,
because this here girl,
she don't mind reaching over across the bed at night
to find not a man...
...but a whimpering shell of a man.
I'm sorry, Ace. Did you want the mic?
I'm all done.
Well, one last thing, I guess.
We're over.
Ooh!
I'm with Bobby now.
Let the night roar!
Yeah, break another mic. Why not?
Hey, Thomas, when you grow up, do one thing for me.
Don't become a fucking idiot like these guys.
-Got it. -Shit.
Get out of the ring now!
She is off script. She never goes off script.
What did you say to her?
What the fuck is this shit, man?
Hey-hey, get to your corner.
Stick with your spots. We'll deal with it later.
I just told her she has talent
and the world needs to see it.
Thankfully, Debbie, we live in an age
where all it takes to get a woman to act boldly
is to tell her the time has come for change
and she's the one who should change it.
Hey, too much movement.
Oh, Ace, easy!
Ace!
It's too much
Hey, hey.
Dude, take it easy, man.
Reverse.
Let's go! Whoo!
Yeah, buddy, that's it!
Whoo!
Climb the cage.
Superplex.
Ace, hey, hey, you never done that.
You never done that.
What the...
Bobby, come on!
Hey, calm down.
Ace, I haven't done this before, man.
Don't be a fucking pussy.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
You do not get to change things.
Ow, Ace! Ow!
Bobby, tap!
Hey!
Ace, that's really tight, man. It hurts, man. Ace!
-Ace? -Tap, tap, tap.
Hey, Ace, what the fuck?
Ow! Ace! Don't do it, man!
Shit. Hey. Now, now, now, now.
That means he's really hurt.
Stretcher, now.
Stay there. Stay down.
That's what happens when you mess with Ace Spade!
We got it, dude. Breathe, breathe.
-Lay down.
Come on.
Careful, now.
It's gonna be okay.
Ow!
Take deep breaths, my man.
Here we go. All right. Slow it down here.
Slow it down.
Ambulance. It's bad.
Bobby, we got you.
Hey, Jack. Jack.
I hope the people from the fair still like what we did, man.
-I'm really sorry, man. -Hey, hey.
Don't you worry. We gon' fix you right up.
-Okay, man. -We're gonna fix you--
Oh, my Lord.
I look around at the fear in your faces
and I want y'all to know
I, too, am horrified by what I seen here tonight.
Injury so horrifying...
...yet so avoidable.
But apparently, that's what the DWL has become
in King Spade's absence.
Hey, Jack, take it easy, man. It's not worth it.
-Fuck! -Dad?
As most of y'all know,
recently, I parted ways
with the Big Show up north.
Wanted to come home to Duffy and slow things down.
Enjoy the three Fs, as I like to call 'em--
food, fishin', and fornicatin'.
But that was before I got a whiff
of what the Spade boys been up to.
Now, me and King Tom, we may have had our differences,
but the one thing Tom always had was my respect.
Now I see his boys,
and they are making a mockery of his legacy,
razing the house he built with his own two hands!
A month ago, Jack here humiliated his brother
in the ring.
And now Ace has just injured
and possibly ruined the career of a fellow wrestler.
-The DWL belt...
-Motherfucker. -...Belongs
to neither of these boys!
They haven't earned it.
They don't deserve it.
It's time to right this ship.
Somebody get me the belt
and get me a goddamn microphone!
Someone's gotta do it
and it might as well be Wild Bill Hancock!
And that's why I've decided to challenge Jack and Ace
for the DWL Championship belt
in a three-way ladder match.
Come on!
What you think, Jack?
You got something you want to say to me?
Hey, Bill. You make me laugh.
You came back here for your roots?
You came back here because the folks up north realized
what I've known for a long time.
You're a drunken has-been who's got no place in that ring
just like you got no place in mine.
Now, if you're gonna make me teach you that the hard way,
so be it.
I'll give you your shot.
We can go up in the ring. You can pretend like it's 1995.
But you are not gonna walk out of there.
No, sir.
And if y'all want this belt on the line, then so be it.
I'll put the belt on the line.
But you got no chance, none whatsoever,
'cause this belt is staying right here
in my hands!
Jack.
Hey, buddy, why don't you go to the gift shop?
Get yourself a candy bar.
But Mom would be mad.
I'll take care of your mom.
Go on.
-You just did the one thing-- -Hey, hey--
You did the one thing that you cannot fucking do.
It was an accident, Jack.
I swear to God it was an accident, okay?
Bobby isn't experienced.
I didn't want him to go in the ring so early.
-Shut up, Ace. -You know what? I had--
Shut the fuck up! Hey!
You understand now why I made you a heel?
'Cause you're a fucking piece of shit.
Fuck you.
Jack. Jack!
Thank you so much for coming out.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, let me get you Jack.
Hold on just a minute.
It's Jack.
Oh, hey there.
Oh, yeah, that's part of the fun.
Audience never knows what's real.
Bob--Bobby Pin does do a great job
of selling the pain, that's for sure.
Well, Wild- Wild Bill's a star for a reason.
His uh, his persona is unique.
All right, we'll uh, we'll touch base tomorrow.
Thank you.
Look, I know you got a lot on your plate,
but your son's got no idea what the fuck is going on,
and he's scared senseless.
You don't talk to him soon, I'm calling Staci.
Willie.
We got the fair.
Okay.