1 00:00:04,909 --> 00:00:06,845 Previously on Heels ... 2 00:00:06,945 --> 00:00:08,913 Violence sometimes suggests a deeper issue 3 00:00:09,014 --> 00:00:10,548 going on with a child. 4 00:00:10,648 --> 00:00:12,584 It's a miracle we got out of that meeting 5 00:00:12,684 --> 00:00:14,919 with them agreeing to let Thomas back in school. 6 00:00:15,020 --> 00:00:17,188 They wanted us to acknowledge punching as wrong. 7 00:00:17,288 --> 00:00:18,623 Punching isn't always wrong. 8 00:00:18,723 --> 00:00:19,938 Mr. Jack Spade! 9 00:00:21,626 --> 00:00:23,094 I'm sorry to burden you with this. 10 00:00:23,194 --> 00:00:24,729 You're my friend, not a burden. 11 00:00:24,729 --> 00:00:26,531 You can stay here as long as you want. 12 00:00:26,631 --> 00:00:29,134 My name is Crystal Tyler. 13 00:00:29,234 --> 00:00:31,002 And I am the baddest... 14 00:00:32,737 --> 00:00:33,638 ...bitch... 15 00:00:35,073 --> 00:00:37,075 ...the DWL has ever seen. 16 00:00:37,175 --> 00:00:38,376 - Crystal! - Yeah! 17 00:00:38,476 --> 00:00:40,512 Congrats again, superstar. 18 00:00:43,481 --> 00:00:45,263 - So why are you here? - Ace? 19 00:00:45,383 --> 00:00:47,152 Suits from up north sent me to scout him. 20 00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:49,020 He's not gonna leave what we're building. 21 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,455 I've been calling Ace since last night. 22 00:00:50,555 --> 00:00:51,923 He's gone. 23 00:00:52,023 --> 00:00:53,091 I'd like the restroom key, please. 24 00:00:53,191 --> 00:00:55,994 Got to buy something. I got Coke, Cherry Coke. 25 00:00:56,094 --> 00:00:57,762 Stick them all up your ass, sir. 26 00:00:57,862 --> 00:00:59,364 Let me buy you a meal, partner. 27 00:00:59,464 --> 00:01:01,312 Go find some other runaway to make s'mores with. 28 00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:03,401 If you're hiking and camping Dover Springs, 29 00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:05,036 - I hope you're all geared up. - I was just gonna wear these. 30 00:01:05,136 --> 00:01:06,237 You're gonna hike in soccer shoes? 31 00:01:06,337 --> 00:01:08,139 It's pretty rough terrain. 32 00:01:10,341 --> 00:01:12,043 Aah! 33 00:01:18,129 --> 00:01:23,555 ♪ I'm not waiting for ♪ 34 00:01:23,655 --> 00:01:27,525 ♪ The answer ♪ 35 00:01:29,194 --> 00:01:32,030 ♪ I will ♪ 36 00:01:32,130 --> 00:01:34,732 ♪ Walk in the shore ♪ 37 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:37,402 ♪ To find you ♪ 38 00:01:37,502 --> 00:01:40,438 ♪ To find ♪ 39 00:01:40,538 --> 00:01:43,721 ♪ The peace that's your own ♪ 40 00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:46,578 ♪ Where you come from ♪ 41 00:01:46,678 --> 00:01:50,014 ♪ All that you want ♪ 42 00:01:51,983 --> 00:01:54,752 ♪ One that's your own ♪ 43 00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:57,455 ♪ Place to call home ♪ 44 00:01:57,555 --> 00:02:00,425 ♪ Won't be ♪ 45 00:02:00,525 --> 00:02:03,128 ♪ Granted ♪ 46 00:02:03,228 --> 00:02:06,898 ♪ What is fair in love ♪ 47 00:02:06,998 --> 00:02:12,704 ♪ Is fair in war ♪ 48 00:02:14,739 --> 00:02:18,109 ♪ What is fair in love ♪ 49 00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:22,914 ♪ Is fair in war ♪ 50 00:02:23,014 --> 00:02:25,483 ♪ One ♪ 51 00:02:25,583 --> 00:02:28,186 ♪ To one ♪ 52 00:02:28,286 --> 00:02:31,055 ♪ What's love ♪ 53 00:02:31,156 --> 00:02:36,995 ♪ In war? ♪ 54 00:02:49,207 --> 00:02:50,708 Keep stirring, Jack. 55 00:02:50,808 --> 00:02:52,210 Eddie Earl's coming to dinner to maybe invest 56 00:02:52,310 --> 00:02:53,945 in Daddy's wrestling league. 57 00:02:54,045 --> 00:02:55,980 This cake is our way of saying "please." 58 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,783 "Please" sounds better with cake. 59 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,085 I got a good feeling about this. 60 00:03:01,186 --> 00:03:02,954 Great. 61 00:03:03,054 --> 00:03:05,190 Hope your good feelings turn into money. 62 00:03:09,194 --> 00:03:11,196 You stole a piece of cake. 63 00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:13,031 - No, I didn't. - Don't be sinning 64 00:03:13,131 --> 00:03:13,932 twice at once-- stealing and lying. 65 00:03:14,032 --> 00:03:15,400 Move it. 66 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,168 You said I could have a piece. 67 00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:19,137 After Eddie had his! Pants down! 68 00:03:19,237 --> 00:03:20,405 I'm sorry, Mommy. 69 00:03:20,505 --> 00:03:22,640 Too late for sorry. Pants down! 70 00:03:27,812 --> 00:03:30,114 Aah! 71 00:03:32,217 --> 00:03:33,585 The hell's going on? 72 00:03:33,685 --> 00:03:35,119 He stole a piece of cake, then lied! 73 00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:37,021 I won't be mother to a liar. 74 00:03:37,121 --> 00:03:38,656 Eddie's due any second, Carol! 75 00:03:39,324 --> 00:03:40,558 You're unreal. 76 00:03:42,694 --> 00:03:44,762 Aah! 77 00:03:44,762 --> 00:03:46,497 You got the sponsorship, Tom! 78 00:03:46,598 --> 00:03:48,366 This is gonna be great for the whole town of Duffy. 79 00:03:48,466 --> 00:03:49,968 It's the start of something great, Eddie. 80 00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,573 Eddie Earl's giving us some money! 81 00:03:55,673 --> 00:03:57,408 Daddy is so happy. 82 00:04:00,511 --> 00:04:05,049 Now, Jack, a mommy's job is to show her son how to behave. 83 00:04:05,149 --> 00:04:06,751 "Chasten thy son while there is hope, 84 00:04:06,851 --> 00:04:08,987 and let not thy soul spare for his crying." 85 00:04:09,087 --> 00:04:10,922 Proverbs 19:18. 86 00:04:11,022 --> 00:04:13,992 You became a better person today. 87 00:04:14,092 --> 00:04:16,761 I'll get some cream for your boo-boos. 88 00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:24,135 Thirty-six hours of steady rainfall 89 00:04:24,235 --> 00:04:26,437 have left many homeless in the Metro area, 90 00:04:26,537 --> 00:04:28,072 knee-deep in flood waters. 91 00:04:29,841 --> 00:04:31,109 Put my phone down. 92 00:04:31,209 --> 00:04:32,810 You gonna use the landline till I find Ace. 93 00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:35,179 Ace don't wanna be found. 94 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,548 This is Dad's belt. 95 00:04:37,649 --> 00:04:41,886 And I wear it sometimes to remind me to not be you. 96 00:04:41,986 --> 00:04:46,824 I been thinking a lot about you, how you behaved. 97 00:04:46,924 --> 00:04:48,326 Well, boo-hoo. 98 00:04:48,426 --> 00:04:50,328 Now, give me my phone. 99 00:04:50,428 --> 00:04:52,330 Ace needs to be left alone. 100 00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:54,799 You don't know what Ace needs any more than I do. 101 00:04:54,899 --> 00:04:57,702 Know this though--if me and Ace end up killing each other, 102 00:04:57,702 --> 00:05:00,004 you will have played a big part in why. 103 00:05:34,038 --> 00:05:34,939 Ohh... 104 00:05:35,039 --> 00:05:36,674 Oh--ah! 105 00:05:36,774 --> 00:05:37,909 Ah... 106 00:05:46,384 --> 00:05:48,586 Ah--ah! Shit. 107 00:06:06,904 --> 00:06:08,286 Aah-- 108 00:06:08,406 --> 00:06:11,275 ohh... fuck! 109 00:06:12,777 --> 00:06:14,245 One more. 110 00:06:14,345 --> 00:06:16,047 I can't. 111 00:06:16,147 --> 00:06:18,116 I disagree. Come on. 112 00:06:23,454 --> 00:06:25,022 Here we go. 113 00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:28,306 Push. Come on. 114 00:06:28,426 --> 00:06:30,128 - Uhh-- - Yes! 115 00:06:30,228 --> 00:06:32,330 - Nice. - Okay. 116 00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:36,968 - Look great. - Yeah. Thanks for 117 00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:39,170 pushing me to dig deep. 118 00:06:39,270 --> 00:06:42,874 In that case, one more set. 119 00:06:42,974 --> 00:06:44,809 I--ha. 120 00:06:50,515 --> 00:06:52,950 You're a good son, Deandre, buying me this bed. 121 00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:55,420 Too generous. 122 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,055 Oh, look, Pops, now that I'm the champ at Dystopia, 123 00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:00,037 I make this in a day. 124 00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,860 Yeah. I worry about you in that car crash wrestling 125 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,762 they do at Dystopia. 126 00:07:04,862 --> 00:07:07,365 You'd never catch Rocky Johnson 127 00:07:07,465 --> 00:07:09,967 using barbed wire to beat a man. 128 00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:12,703 - Do it with his bare hands. - Ha ha. Look, Pops. 129 00:07:12,804 --> 00:07:14,906 I got this. Look, I'm gonna go work out. 130 00:07:15,006 --> 00:07:16,607 Now, you text me if you invite a lady over here 131 00:07:16,707 --> 00:07:18,209 to break in your new bed. 132 00:07:18,309 --> 00:07:20,211 I'ma need the heads up. 133 00:07:20,311 --> 00:07:22,313 - Okay. - Okay? 134 00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:24,348 - All right, son. - All right, now listen. 135 00:07:24,449 --> 00:07:27,218 I know how loud you can get. 136 00:07:38,296 --> 00:07:40,097 Let's rip this fart together. 137 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,899 Hell yeah. 138 00:07:43,334 --> 00:07:45,903 The time has finally come. 139 00:07:46,003 --> 00:07:48,606 He's one of the greatest to ever step between the ropes, 140 00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:52,076 three-time World Champion, six-time Tag Team Champion, 141 00:07:52,176 --> 00:07:54,979 the only man to wrestle three different species 142 00:07:55,079 --> 00:07:56,280 and defeat two of them. 143 00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:58,983 It's the "Wild Bill Hancock" podcast! 144 00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:00,718 Diego Cottonmouth here, 145 00:08:00,818 --> 00:08:03,287 your masked menace luchador, producing. 146 00:08:03,387 --> 00:08:05,022 Bill, you said you wanted to cover 147 00:08:05,122 --> 00:08:06,791 not just wrestling, but life. 148 00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:10,328 You want each episode to be wide-ranging and estranging. 149 00:08:10,428 --> 00:08:12,296 Diego, my goal is to use the truth 150 00:08:12,396 --> 00:08:14,332 to offend as many people as I can. 151 00:08:14,332 --> 00:08:16,934 So, look, lots to discuss, 152 00:08:17,034 --> 00:08:19,337 but your fans got tons of questions, 153 00:08:19,437 --> 00:08:21,272 and they're gonna fast forward until they get the answers. 154 00:08:21,372 --> 00:08:23,207 So let's talk DWL first. 155 00:08:23,307 --> 00:08:25,009 Folks have had difficulty 156 00:08:25,109 --> 00:08:27,745 following all the swerves at the DWL lately-- 157 00:08:27,845 --> 00:08:30,581 Uh, Crystal defeating both you and Jack Spade. 158 00:08:30,681 --> 00:08:32,884 Defeat's a dubious conclusion. 159 00:08:32,984 --> 00:08:34,285 Well, she has the belt. You do not. 160 00:08:34,385 --> 00:08:35,586 Is that not a defeat? 161 00:08:35,686 --> 00:08:37,221 A setback is not a defeat. 162 00:08:37,321 --> 00:08:38,689 Uh-huh. 163 00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:41,726 Now, Crystal, in her rise to DWL champ, 164 00:08:41,826 --> 00:08:45,029 had stints as Ace Spade and Bobby Pin's valet. 165 00:08:45,129 --> 00:08:46,597 Correct. 166 00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:49,934 But she re-enlisted as your valet, Bunny Bombshell. 167 00:08:50,034 --> 00:08:52,003 I saved that lassie from the swamp. 168 00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:54,205 But the moment I was in need of the very services 169 00:08:54,305 --> 00:08:55,907 a valet renders, 170 00:08:56,007 --> 00:08:58,009 she forgot everything I'd done for her. 171 00:08:58,109 --> 00:09:01,279 The only reason she can hang with the big boys 172 00:09:01,379 --> 00:09:03,314 is 'cause I taught Crystal Tyler 173 00:09:03,414 --> 00:09:05,116 everything she knows! 174 00:09:05,216 --> 00:09:07,785 Now she's proving herself worthy to learn the rest of it 175 00:09:07,885 --> 00:09:09,787 in the opposing corner of the ring. 176 00:09:09,787 --> 00:09:13,090 I don't care if you're a man, woman, or alien species. 177 00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:15,626 You step through those ropes and cross The Bill, 178 00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:17,528 you're gonna get the horns. Life is long. 179 00:09:17,628 --> 00:09:18,996 Yessir. 180 00:09:19,096 --> 00:09:20,464 Tell us what occurred at the State Fair 181 00:09:20,565 --> 00:09:21,732 with Charlie Gully then. 182 00:09:21,832 --> 00:09:23,301 My sense of honor occurred! 183 00:09:23,401 --> 00:09:25,570 Gully crashed our event. I took umbrage. 184 00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:27,271 Yeah. Y-you claimed 185 00:09:27,371 --> 00:09:30,641 you had a bout of, uh, involuntary digestive distress. 186 00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:32,577 I've stated facts. 187 00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:35,146 God created the sphincter so that shitting, by design, 188 00:09:35,246 --> 00:09:36,781 would be voluntary. 189 00:09:36,881 --> 00:09:38,683 The sphincter's a goddamn damper for the rectum. 190 00:09:38,783 --> 00:09:41,018 Asses don't leak unless they're poisoned! 191 00:09:41,118 --> 00:09:42,787 Yet, despite that, you swallowed your shame 192 00:09:42,887 --> 00:09:44,355 in pursuit of the belt. 193 00:09:44,455 --> 00:09:46,357 I'm a competitor first, gentleman second. 194 00:09:46,457 --> 00:09:49,707 Charlie Gully attempted to disrupt an athletic contest. 195 00:09:49,827 --> 00:09:52,129 Once I discovered I had some... 196 00:09:52,229 --> 00:09:55,032 accidental excrement pooled in the seat of my pants, 197 00:09:55,132 --> 00:09:56,367 I made use of it. 198 00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:58,536 You threw a clothesline. 199 00:09:58,636 --> 00:10:00,571 And then I shit-stamped his face. 200 00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:02,707 It was as if fate herself proclaimed, 201 00:10:02,807 --> 00:10:05,256 "Here is a man you'd like to eat shit 202 00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,778 presenting his mouth as a fortuitous receptacle." 203 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:09,280 Boom! 204 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,482 Lemons into lemonade, kids. 205 00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:13,150 Whoo! 206 00:10:22,994 --> 00:10:24,161 Hey, I'm gonna grab some Egg McMuffins. 207 00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:25,363 You want one? 208 00:10:25,463 --> 00:10:26,697 - No. - How about for Jack? 209 00:10:26,797 --> 00:10:28,933 - Jack's outta town. - Till when? 210 00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,802 We gotta promote the next show. Did he give you a script? 211 00:10:31,902 --> 00:10:33,671 No. Just said I was "in charge." 212 00:10:33,771 --> 00:10:35,539 Holy shit! Was he stoned? 213 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,108 Wait, you're in charge? 214 00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:39,510 Yay! Girl power! 215 00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:41,145 I gotta focus. 216 00:10:41,245 --> 00:10:43,114 A McGriddle 'n' sausage? 217 00:10:43,214 --> 00:10:45,116 Go. 218 00:10:55,059 --> 00:10:58,029 Watch that one there. 219 00:11:00,598 --> 00:11:02,500 - Next leg! - Hey! 220 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,336 Hey! 221 00:11:05,436 --> 00:11:07,538 Shit! You okay?! 222 00:11:07,638 --> 00:11:08,839 Sprained my ankle. 223 00:11:08,939 --> 00:11:10,988 You got another line you can toss down? 224 00:11:11,108 --> 00:11:12,777 - Janice! - What?! 225 00:11:12,877 --> 00:11:14,478 There's a guy down here! 226 00:11:14,578 --> 00:11:15,813 Says he might have broke his ankle. 227 00:11:15,913 --> 00:11:17,815 I'll call in a rescue chopper. 228 00:11:17,915 --> 00:11:20,051 No, no, I said I sprained it! I-it's just a sprain. 229 00:11:20,051 --> 00:11:22,086 A sprain can be worse than a break. 230 00:11:22,186 --> 00:11:25,356 Can you just let me try to climb up, please? 231 00:11:25,456 --> 00:11:27,658 All right, Janice, no chopper this time. 232 00:11:27,758 --> 00:11:29,493 Just drop down another harness. 233 00:11:29,593 --> 00:11:32,229 Let's help this guy out. 234 00:11:32,329 --> 00:11:34,699 So I was thinking we do a backstage interview, 235 00:11:34,799 --> 00:11:36,100 a medical update on Wild Bill 236 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,568 after Crystal kicked him into oblivion. 237 00:11:37,668 --> 00:11:39,036 Bill cuts a promo. 238 00:11:39,136 --> 00:11:40,971 - Shifts the blame to the crowd. - I love it. 239 00:11:41,072 --> 00:11:43,874 We should make Bobby our backstage roving reporter. 240 00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:46,310 His leg's still healing but he's so-- 241 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:47,511 Stiff and robotic. 242 00:11:47,611 --> 00:11:48,679 Done. 243 00:11:48,779 --> 00:11:50,881 So Bobby gets Bill's reaction 244 00:11:50,981 --> 00:11:52,249 to all that went down last week. 245 00:11:52,349 --> 00:11:54,485 Crystal won is what went down. 246 00:11:54,585 --> 00:11:56,220 Yes, she did. 247 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,089 So, Bill tells the crowd how tough you are, 248 00:11:58,189 --> 00:12:00,591 but then he calls you a piece of shit 249 00:12:00,691 --> 00:12:02,359 so that he can bring it all back around later, 250 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,428 saying, "All that nice stuff I said about you before 251 00:12:04,528 --> 00:12:05,496 "is just gonna make beating your ass 252 00:12:05,596 --> 00:12:06,597 all the more sweet!" 253 00:12:06,697 --> 00:12:07,998 Perfect. 254 00:12:08,099 --> 00:12:09,467 And you don't need to give me my due. 255 00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:10,668 I took it! 256 00:12:10,768 --> 00:12:12,536 It's going in. 257 00:12:14,705 --> 00:12:16,107 Hey. 258 00:12:16,207 --> 00:12:18,676 Willie, is Ace doing all right? 259 00:12:18,776 --> 00:12:20,111 Right now, Ace is just a blinking dot 260 00:12:20,211 --> 00:12:21,812 on his mother's phone somewhere not here. 261 00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:24,115 Could be two towns over, could be Tallahassee. 262 00:12:24,215 --> 00:12:26,050 The only thing that Jack suggested 263 00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:28,519 was that we start off with your championship celebration. 264 00:12:28,619 --> 00:12:30,321 So I'm thinking you come out on the mic, 265 00:12:30,321 --> 00:12:32,389 you know, "Pound for pound, I'm the best wrestler there is 266 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,725 "in the DWL, and I'm on top 267 00:12:34,825 --> 00:12:36,861 because you all believed in me!" 268 00:12:36,961 --> 00:12:38,676 Really make the crowd feel part of it. 269 00:12:38,796 --> 00:12:40,598 Y'all have taken me this far, 270 00:12:40,698 --> 00:12:43,567 and it's gon' be one hell of a ride 271 00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:45,269 seeing where we go from here... 272 00:12:45,269 --> 00:12:47,404 - Together. - Exactly! 273 00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:49,406 You're the antithesis of Bill, but we don't wanna see 274 00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:51,008 the two of you mixing it up again 275 00:12:51,108 --> 00:12:53,310 until we string the story out further. 276 00:12:53,410 --> 00:12:56,313 So instead, we have The Dad interrupting on the mic, 277 00:12:56,413 --> 00:12:58,182 you know, as a sort of surrogate for Bill, 278 00:12:58,282 --> 00:13:00,017 complaining about a woman holding a man's title, 279 00:13:00,117 --> 00:13:01,185 blah, blah. 280 00:13:01,285 --> 00:13:02,553 Wait, The Dad? 281 00:13:02,653 --> 00:13:04,722 He's... he's so nice. 282 00:13:04,822 --> 00:13:06,223 - Dad's a douche. - Oh, really? 283 00:13:06,323 --> 00:13:07,124 I didn't know that. 284 00:13:07,224 --> 00:13:08,959 In the story. Keep up, kid. 285 00:13:09,059 --> 00:13:11,729 I'm sorry. You said it so emphatically. 286 00:13:11,829 --> 00:13:12,963 I've got no idea what he's like in real life. 287 00:13:13,063 --> 00:13:15,065 I should probably find out if he's even a real dad. 288 00:13:15,065 --> 00:13:16,734 Ha. Okay. 289 00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:19,870 Maybe The Dad says some shit like, 290 00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:23,574 "You're welcome to become 'The Stepmom' and do my laundry." 291 00:13:23,674 --> 00:13:24,842 Shit, now I hate The Dad. 292 00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:26,443 Now I wanna see you beat his ass. 293 00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:28,779 Well, why not just whoop his ass right then and there? 294 00:13:28,879 --> 00:13:31,582 - Why wait? - Roses for Crystal, 295 00:13:31,682 --> 00:13:33,651 the new champ, left outside. 296 00:13:33,751 --> 00:13:35,252 "Secret Admirer." 297 00:13:35,352 --> 00:13:37,588 What? 298 00:13:37,688 --> 00:13:40,691 These are the first flowers for me ever. 299 00:13:40,791 --> 00:13:42,726 Just know that Secret Admirer 300 00:13:42,827 --> 00:13:44,829 might also be a secret serial killer. 301 00:13:46,764 --> 00:13:48,599 Oh, uh, Jack left Willie in charge. 302 00:13:48,699 --> 00:13:50,568 I know. So great, right? 303 00:13:50,668 --> 00:13:52,049 Girl power! 304 00:13:52,169 --> 00:13:53,103 - Girl power! - Please stop saying that. 305 00:13:53,204 --> 00:13:54,905 Girl power! 306 00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:57,755 Hear there's a new El Jefe in the house! 307 00:13:57,855 --> 00:14:00,611 Hey! La Jefa! Wilheminia ! 308 00:14:00,711 --> 00:14:02,746 Great. Jack's just taking some days off. 309 00:14:02,847 --> 00:14:05,749 Bill, did you just call Willie a heifer? 310 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:08,118 La Jefa is The Boss in Spanish, Debbie. 311 00:14:08,219 --> 00:14:09,520 Crystal, you gotta check the 'Gram. 312 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:11,502 You're getting marriage proposals. 313 00:14:11,622 --> 00:14:13,691 Roses too. Secret admirers. 314 00:14:13,691 --> 00:14:15,159 Okay. Here's what I'm thinking-- 315 00:14:15,259 --> 00:14:17,628 Will, two secs. Gotta send a text. 316 00:14:17,728 --> 00:14:19,230 I don't care, Paula, 317 00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:22,233 whether it's cash, comma, Bitcoin, comma, 318 00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,401 or doubloons, comma-- get me paid. 319 00:14:24,501 --> 00:14:25,703 And send. 320 00:14:25,803 --> 00:14:27,872 Thank you. Carry on. 321 00:14:27,972 --> 00:14:30,241 Okay. So we're gonna kick it off with a celebration 322 00:14:30,341 --> 00:14:32,243 of Crystal's championship-- - Willie, sorry. 323 00:14:32,343 --> 00:14:33,644 What is a doubloon? 324 00:14:33,744 --> 00:14:35,179 Ancient Spanish currency. 325 00:14:35,279 --> 00:14:37,348 How ancient, like back when they bankrolled Columbus? 326 00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:38,883 Guys. 327 00:14:38,983 --> 00:14:40,017 Columbus was a genocidal assassin 328 00:14:40,117 --> 00:14:41,719 hired by racist Spaniards. 329 00:14:41,719 --> 00:14:43,020 They're called Conquistadors, 330 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,655 and they learned that from the Romans. 331 00:14:44,755 --> 00:14:46,156 So, Bill's backstage. 332 00:14:46,257 --> 00:14:48,125 - Bobby, now you're a reporter. - Cool. Yeah, use me 333 00:14:48,225 --> 00:14:49,727 - how you need me. - Ooh, Bobby's 334 00:14:49,827 --> 00:14:51,962 a "free use" guy, folks! 335 00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:53,564 Hey, hey! Got a surprise. 336 00:14:53,664 --> 00:14:55,132 Follow me! 337 00:14:55,232 --> 00:14:56,700 If it's his dick in a hotdog bun, 338 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,235 I'm grabbing and not letting go. 339 00:15:07,544 --> 00:15:09,246 - Dad! - Hey, there's my buddy! 340 00:15:09,346 --> 00:15:10,281 How you doing? 341 00:15:10,381 --> 00:15:11,348 Where'd you go, Dad? 342 00:15:11,448 --> 00:15:13,417 I... 343 00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:15,085 I-I just been at home. 344 00:15:15,185 --> 00:15:17,788 I miss you. Can you come get me? 345 00:15:17,888 --> 00:15:19,757 Y-yessir. Yessir. 346 00:15:19,857 --> 00:15:21,625 I just gotta do a little something first. 347 00:15:21,725 --> 00:15:23,193 Won't be long though. 348 00:15:23,294 --> 00:15:24,962 Could you put your mother on the phone for a second? 349 00:15:25,062 --> 00:15:26,363 She's on a run. 350 00:15:26,463 --> 00:15:29,633 Dad, when can I come back to school? 351 00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:32,883 We-we met with the school. You're no longer suspended. 352 00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:34,605 Mommy said they hadn't decided yet. 353 00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:40,744 I will call your Mom to clarify--we'll-we'll fix it. 354 00:15:40,844 --> 00:15:41,812 Okay, Dad. Thanks. 355 00:15:41,912 --> 00:15:43,314 I love you. 356 00:15:43,414 --> 00:15:45,249 Love you too, buddy. You stay positive. 357 00:15:53,057 --> 00:15:54,658 - Whoa! - Whoo! 358 00:15:58,495 --> 00:16:01,465 Yeah, look at that, dude. That looks awesome. 359 00:16:01,565 --> 00:16:03,634 Surprise! 360 00:16:03,734 --> 00:16:05,669 - I kept the secret. - You did! 361 00:16:05,669 --> 00:16:06,670 Man, imagine "Call of Duty" on this. 362 00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:08,806 No, no, no. "Mario Kart." 363 00:16:08,806 --> 00:16:10,407 - I call Toad. - Oh, I call Diddy Kong, so... 364 00:16:10,507 --> 00:16:12,623 Diddy Kong hasn't been in "Mario Kart" since the Wii. 365 00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:13,744 Yeah, did not know that. 366 00:16:13,844 --> 00:16:15,145 Too generous, Eddie. 367 00:16:15,245 --> 00:16:17,147 Hell yeah. You can watch vignettes, 368 00:16:17,147 --> 00:16:19,216 backstage stuff, interviews. 369 00:16:19,216 --> 00:16:21,819 Totally. Okay, okay. Back to work, folks! 370 00:16:21,919 --> 00:16:23,053 We can also have movie nights. 371 00:16:23,153 --> 00:16:24,521 Oh, show 'em the features, honey. 372 00:16:24,621 --> 00:16:26,890 No. Why don't we set that tutorial up for later? 373 00:16:26,991 --> 00:16:28,092 Oh, no, no. You're gonna love this. 374 00:16:28,192 --> 00:16:30,107 You're gonna wanna see what this can do. 375 00:16:30,227 --> 00:16:31,996 We gotta over what the plan is. Everyone please shut up! 376 00:16:32,096 --> 00:16:33,998 Sorry, Annie, it's just... 377 00:16:34,098 --> 00:16:35,312 We should have called first. 378 00:16:35,432 --> 00:16:36,934 I am so sorry. 379 00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:39,036 Jack left Willie in charge. 380 00:16:39,136 --> 00:16:41,372 Oh, well, isn't that just wonderful? 381 00:16:41,472 --> 00:16:42,973 Everything is great. 382 00:16:42,973 --> 00:16:44,174 Just, you know, as usual, there's a lot to do. 383 00:16:44,174 --> 00:16:46,010 So thank you for this. We'll put it to good use. 384 00:16:46,110 --> 00:16:47,611 We're so grateful. 385 00:16:47,711 --> 00:16:49,013 Everyone, start warming up. 386 00:16:49,113 --> 00:16:52,616 Bill, may I speak to you privately for a minute? 387 00:16:52,616 --> 00:16:54,184 Jack is gone. Ace is gone. 388 00:16:54,284 --> 00:16:56,000 I need you to be ring general out there, 389 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,955 not number one Jackass on the Jackass Most Wanted List. 390 00:16:58,055 --> 00:16:59,390 Help me keep the group focused. 391 00:16:59,490 --> 00:17:00,991 Coach 'em up. Keep 'em disciplined. 392 00:17:01,091 --> 00:17:02,993 - Got it? - Aye, aye, Kommandant. 393 00:17:03,093 --> 00:17:05,262 Give a jangle if you need a sounding board. 394 00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:09,366 Okay. 395 00:17:09,466 --> 00:17:12,536 Good and generous, Earl family. 396 00:17:12,636 --> 00:17:14,204 You must excuse us. 397 00:17:14,304 --> 00:17:16,073 We gotta whip this unit into a shape 398 00:17:16,173 --> 00:17:18,375 worthy enough to be on your big screen TV. 399 00:17:19,243 --> 00:17:20,210 Uh, it- it's actually a video wall. 400 00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,279 Jim, it appears your life philosophy 401 00:17:22,379 --> 00:17:24,014 is to wait till someone says something, 402 00:17:24,114 --> 00:17:25,783 then make them feel stupid for saying it. 403 00:17:28,819 --> 00:17:30,387 I'm just trying to tell the truth, 404 00:17:30,487 --> 00:17:32,222 even if it offends someone, Bill! 405 00:17:32,322 --> 00:17:34,725 Ooh, my bro listened to our podcast. 406 00:17:34,825 --> 00:17:36,427 All right, well, we'll let y'all get to work, kids. 407 00:17:36,427 --> 00:17:38,629 Okay. How about a round of applause... 408 00:17:38,729 --> 00:17:41,065 - Yes. - ...for Eddie and Annie. 409 00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:43,367 Whoo! 410 00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:47,171 Okay, Crystal, and Jim the Giant Jesuit, 411 00:17:47,271 --> 00:17:48,472 you're up first. Into the ring. 412 00:17:48,572 --> 00:17:51,675 How much did that cost? I won't tell anybody. 413 00:17:51,775 --> 00:17:54,391 Bro, 46 people including Big Jim 414 00:17:54,511 --> 00:17:55,846 have already streamed the podcast! 415 00:17:55,946 --> 00:17:57,514 That's so cool, man. You deserve it. 416 00:17:57,614 --> 00:17:59,616 Thanks, man. Yeah, I'm telling you, man, 417 00:17:59,716 --> 00:18:01,652 they gotta start listening to my ideas around here. 418 00:18:01,752 --> 00:18:03,720 I'm gonna get some graphics templates for this video wall 419 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,255 up our game. 420 00:18:05,355 --> 00:18:07,324 I can help bring this place to whole new level, bro. 421 00:18:07,424 --> 00:18:08,959 I- I hope they listen to you, man. 422 00:18:09,059 --> 00:18:11,795 - Your genius is untapped. - Ha ha ha. Yes, it is. 423 00:18:11,895 --> 00:18:14,932 Oh! 424 00:18:15,032 --> 00:18:16,834 Don't worry. You got two of 'em. 425 00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:19,036 D, hey, uh... 426 00:18:19,136 --> 00:18:21,338 when Crystal kissed me at the fair... 427 00:18:21,338 --> 00:18:22,973 - Mm-hmm. - ...what do you think 428 00:18:23,073 --> 00:18:24,675 - that meant? - Didn't see it. 429 00:18:24,775 --> 00:18:26,743 - She tongue you? - No. 430 00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:28,579 Did she suck on your lip? 431 00:18:28,679 --> 00:18:30,414 Like, you know, kinda clamping down for a second, 432 00:18:30,514 --> 00:18:33,150 then pulling back and making a very faint popping sound? 433 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,319 - No. - Did she lean onto your thigh 434 00:18:35,419 --> 00:18:36,954 and kinda, you know, linger there, 435 00:18:37,054 --> 00:18:38,922 perching her entire bodyweight onto you, 436 00:18:39,022 --> 00:18:41,558 centering it with her crotch? 437 00:18:41,658 --> 00:18:44,995 No, it did not happen in the way that you just described. 438 00:18:45,095 --> 00:18:46,710 Based on all that, no clue. 439 00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:48,899 Ask her what the kiss meant. 440 00:18:48,999 --> 00:18:51,135 How in the heck am I supposed to ask a question like that? 441 00:18:51,235 --> 00:18:52,783 Well, you just asked me a question like that. 442 00:18:52,903 --> 00:18:54,538 Ask her the same question. 443 00:18:54,638 --> 00:18:57,407 Bro, she's getting marriage proposals and flowers 444 00:18:57,508 --> 00:19:00,377 and she's hot as shit and also very, very cool. 445 00:19:00,477 --> 00:19:02,513 - Mm-hmm. - It's a miracle she's single. 446 00:19:02,613 --> 00:19:03,847 Make your move. 447 00:19:03,847 --> 00:19:05,462 Her lips have at least touched yours. 448 00:19:05,582 --> 00:19:07,251 It was a kiss on the lips, right? 449 00:19:07,351 --> 00:19:08,385 Don't be fucking telling me it was 450 00:19:08,485 --> 00:19:10,053 on the forehead or on your cheek. 451 00:19:10,053 --> 00:19:11,054 Oh, no, no, no. Lips were involved. 452 00:19:11,155 --> 00:19:12,523 Hers and mine. 453 00:19:12,623 --> 00:19:15,225 Ha ha ha. Make your intentions known. 454 00:19:15,225 --> 00:19:18,362 If you whiff, on to the next. 455 00:19:20,864 --> 00:19:22,799 - Uhh! - Good. Knee. 456 00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:30,240 Great. Here we go. 457 00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,177 - Whoo! - Oh! 458 00:19:33,277 --> 00:19:36,079 Yeah! 459 00:19:36,180 --> 00:19:38,248 That is how we do it. 460 00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:41,165 Wow. 461 00:19:54,298 --> 00:19:56,200 Your Volvo needs an alignment. 462 00:19:58,268 --> 00:19:59,536 I still can't believe you survived. 463 00:19:59,636 --> 00:20:01,838 I know how to fall. 464 00:20:01,838 --> 00:20:03,840 I was a wrestler. 465 00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,310 Professional wrestler. 466 00:20:07,477 --> 00:20:09,079 Ice every 15 minutes. 467 00:20:09,179 --> 00:20:11,281 And next hike, leave the soccer shoes behind. 468 00:20:11,381 --> 00:20:12,716 Just get yourself some Merrells. 469 00:20:12,816 --> 00:20:14,451 They got 52 million styles. 470 00:20:14,551 --> 00:20:16,720 But don't get cute and buy their clogs. 471 00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:20,057 Clogs are only good for getting the mail. 472 00:20:20,157 --> 00:20:21,858 Hey. 473 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,241 Stay a little longer. 474 00:20:25,395 --> 00:20:28,098 We can get high. Fool around. 475 00:20:28,198 --> 00:20:30,000 All of us. 476 00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,702 He must be concussed. 477 00:20:33,637 --> 00:20:35,305 I thought y'all were being nice 'cause you wanted to hook up. 478 00:20:35,405 --> 00:20:37,441 Come on, buddy! Read the room! 479 00:20:37,541 --> 00:20:39,610 Pal, if you interpret being nice as an invitation to fuck, 480 00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:41,912 you don't know what being nice looks like. 481 00:20:44,348 --> 00:20:46,717 I misinterpreted the situation. 482 00:20:46,817 --> 00:20:48,118 Yes, you did. 483 00:20:48,218 --> 00:20:50,787 Damn. Be better. 484 00:20:55,959 --> 00:20:57,661 Charlie Gully attempted to disrupt 485 00:20:57,761 --> 00:20:59,396 an athletic contest. 486 00:20:59,496 --> 00:21:02,599 Once I discovered I had some... accidental excrement 487 00:21:02,699 --> 00:21:06,236 pooled in the seat of my pants, I made use of it. 488 00:21:06,336 --> 00:21:08,171 You threw a clothesline. 489 00:21:08,272 --> 00:21:09,706 And then I shit-stamped his face. 490 00:21:09,806 --> 00:21:11,742 It was as if fate her-- 491 00:21:11,842 --> 00:21:13,110 One second, Pop. 492 00:21:19,116 --> 00:21:21,184 Hey, it's Charlie. Leave a message. 493 00:21:21,285 --> 00:21:22,319 Gully, it's Rooster. 494 00:21:22,419 --> 00:21:24,321 We need to meet up. 495 00:21:24,421 --> 00:21:27,291 Someone is talking shit about you. 496 00:22:05,128 --> 00:22:06,763 Fuck! 497 00:22:06,763 --> 00:22:07,931 Aah! 498 00:22:08,031 --> 00:22:10,434 Gah--ohh! Ow! 499 00:22:10,534 --> 00:22:14,338 Ah! Ah! 500 00:22:17,741 --> 00:22:21,011 Anytime you want to switch beds, Love, just let me know. 501 00:22:21,111 --> 00:22:23,647 I like the air kind. 502 00:22:23,747 --> 00:22:24,748 Dad called while you were running. 503 00:22:24,848 --> 00:22:27,184 He said I can go back to school. 504 00:22:27,284 --> 00:22:28,719 Oh. 505 00:22:28,719 --> 00:22:30,721 Maybe the school finished their paperwork. 506 00:22:30,821 --> 00:22:32,489 He said he was home all this time. 507 00:22:32,589 --> 00:22:34,558 You said he was on a trip. 508 00:22:34,658 --> 00:22:36,460 Well, he must have come back early. 509 00:22:38,261 --> 00:22:39,896 Are you and Dad getting divorced? 510 00:22:42,199 --> 00:22:43,266 I want to be home. 511 00:22:43,367 --> 00:22:44,868 It's okay, love. 512 00:22:44,968 --> 00:22:46,269 It's not. 513 00:22:46,370 --> 00:22:48,638 You said he was on a trip. You lied. 514 00:22:48,739 --> 00:22:50,654 You're not a good mommy to keep me away from him. 515 00:22:50,774 --> 00:22:52,042 Hey. 516 00:22:52,142 --> 00:22:54,578 Mister, sit yourself up right now. 517 00:22:54,678 --> 00:22:56,513 You will not say that to Mommy! 518 00:22:56,613 --> 00:22:58,582 You have no idea what it is to be a mommy! 519 00:22:58,682 --> 00:23:01,451 You can't just say those words and not have them hurt me. 520 00:23:01,551 --> 00:23:03,220 And you can't say them thinking they will hurt me 521 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,287 and expect me to just sit here and take it. 522 00:23:04,388 --> 00:23:05,756 You understand? 523 00:23:05,856 --> 00:23:07,090 I'm sorry, Mommy. 524 00:23:07,190 --> 00:23:08,992 I don't wanna be mean. I'm just sad. 525 00:23:09,092 --> 00:23:10,494 I miss Daddy. 526 00:23:10,594 --> 00:23:12,796 I miss him so much. 527 00:23:24,241 --> 00:23:25,275 Hey, y'all. 528 00:23:25,375 --> 00:23:27,858 Everything okay? 529 00:23:50,567 --> 00:23:52,335 You did a good job with this script. 530 00:23:52,436 --> 00:23:53,537 It's all over the place. 531 00:23:53,637 --> 00:23:54,671 It's real good. 532 00:23:54,771 --> 00:23:56,773 Can't be great in the first draft. 533 00:23:56,873 --> 00:23:59,142 Jack left you in charge 'cause he trusts you won't 534 00:23:59,242 --> 00:24:00,844 completely fuck it up like I might. 535 00:24:00,944 --> 00:24:02,512 Don't shit on it or I'll have to tackle you. 536 00:24:02,612 --> 00:24:04,815 That'd be a bad thing? 537 00:24:05,715 --> 00:24:06,983 Uh no, I gotta focus. 538 00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:09,186 So The Dad ragdolls Crystal through the table. 539 00:24:09,286 --> 00:24:10,520 She'll sell it well. Like it. 540 00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:11,955 We just can't book some bullshit 541 00:24:12,055 --> 00:24:13,356 where she gets to glow-up without getting 542 00:24:13,457 --> 00:24:14,691 her ass kicked sometimes. 543 00:24:14,791 --> 00:24:16,092 Jack and I thought the same thing. 544 00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:17,360 Keep her down on the farm 545 00:24:17,461 --> 00:24:18,628 so she's got adversity to overcome. 546 00:24:18,728 --> 00:24:20,464 That's what they're paying to see. 547 00:24:20,564 --> 00:24:22,265 Narrative wise, when women conquer a man's world, 548 00:24:22,365 --> 00:24:23,633 men don't exactly roll over. 549 00:24:23,733 --> 00:24:25,502 No, they go back hard. 550 00:24:25,602 --> 00:24:28,038 But that's what she wanted, right, to win the belt? 551 00:24:28,138 --> 00:24:31,274 Man had the belt, so to win the belt she had to fight men. 552 00:24:31,374 --> 00:24:32,542 Whether she deserves it or not, 553 00:24:32,642 --> 00:24:33,610 she's gotta get her face pushed in a few times. 554 00:24:33,710 --> 00:24:35,645 What do you mean "whether she deserves it or not"? 555 00:24:35,745 --> 00:24:37,547 Can't say she deserves to get her face pushed in. 556 00:24:37,647 --> 00:24:39,349 If you get in a boxing ring, 557 00:24:39,449 --> 00:24:41,818 do you deserve or not deserve to get punched? 558 00:24:41,918 --> 00:24:43,687 Are we saying Crystal was unaware 559 00:24:43,787 --> 00:24:46,323 of the pitfalls of her pursuits? 560 00:24:46,423 --> 00:24:47,891 Okay. 561 00:24:47,991 --> 00:24:49,125 So The Dad ragdolls Crystal through the table. 562 00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:50,861 She's out cold. It's brutal. 563 00:24:50,961 --> 00:24:52,462 But then she stirs. 564 00:24:52,562 --> 00:24:53,530 She needs to sell the pain to the crowd. 565 00:24:53,630 --> 00:24:55,465 Hit all the "-izes." 566 00:24:55,565 --> 00:24:58,802 Let them empathize and realize and Crystalize her pain. 567 00:24:58,902 --> 00:24:59,836 Okay. 568 00:25:01,972 --> 00:25:04,207 Hey. I'm working on the next card. 569 00:25:04,307 --> 00:25:05,775 Wow, you're working late, huh? 570 00:25:05,876 --> 00:25:07,744 How long you think you'll be? 571 00:25:07,844 --> 00:25:09,346 I don't know. Jack left me in charge. 572 00:25:09,446 --> 00:25:10,180 I gotta figure it all out-- the card, 573 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,381 the stories, all of it. 574 00:25:11,481 --> 00:25:12,582 Jack's letting you book matches now? 575 00:25:12,682 --> 00:25:15,018 Believe me, I know. 576 00:25:15,118 --> 00:25:17,187 Well, Robin needs help writing an essay. 577 00:25:17,287 --> 00:25:18,722 I guess you're the helper. 578 00:25:18,822 --> 00:25:20,724 Ted, if it makes you feel better, 579 00:25:20,824 --> 00:25:22,459 Willie's cooking up probably one of the best shows 580 00:25:22,559 --> 00:25:23,760 we've ever done. 581 00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:25,328 Hello, Bill. 582 00:25:25,428 --> 00:25:27,397 She's working us all into overtime, Tedly. 583 00:25:27,497 --> 00:25:30,400 But when the material's good, you don't mind. 584 00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:32,002 Uh-huh. 585 00:25:32,102 --> 00:25:34,571 Well, I'll let you two go. 586 00:25:41,077 --> 00:25:43,179 "But then she stirs..." 587 00:25:53,256 --> 00:25:55,592 Come home, please. 588 00:25:55,692 --> 00:25:58,395 How the fuck you find me? 589 00:25:58,495 --> 00:26:01,431 "Find my Phone" app on Mom's phone. 590 00:26:01,531 --> 00:26:03,133 Mom's tracking me? 591 00:26:03,233 --> 00:26:05,602 You share locations. 592 00:26:07,604 --> 00:26:09,472 You're still in the family plan. 593 00:26:09,573 --> 00:26:11,708 When I die and go to hell, first thing I'm gonna do 594 00:26:11,808 --> 00:26:14,611 is find Steve Jobs and beat the fuck outta him. 595 00:26:14,611 --> 00:26:16,112 I hope that's not true. 596 00:26:16,212 --> 00:26:18,014 For you or Steve Jobs. 597 00:26:18,114 --> 00:26:21,718 Unless he was... unless he was mean to his cats or something. 598 00:26:28,124 --> 00:26:29,659 You look kinda banged up. 599 00:26:29,759 --> 00:26:32,596 You're looking kinda "fuck you." 600 00:26:34,030 --> 00:26:35,565 Never again. 601 00:26:38,935 --> 00:26:40,370 Just opted out of Family Sharing. 602 00:26:40,470 --> 00:26:42,038 Now fuck off. 603 00:26:43,073 --> 00:26:46,523 I was hoping that I was gonna have you at "come home." 604 00:26:46,643 --> 00:26:48,845 Fuck off's just the tip of the icicle-dick, Jack. 605 00:26:48,945 --> 00:26:51,581 Fuck you with a massive icicle-dick. 606 00:26:55,719 --> 00:26:57,320 - You should call housekeeping. - You should fuck off. 607 00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:59,689 With an icicle-dick. I heard you. 608 00:27:02,826 --> 00:27:04,961 Was the room this trashed when you checked in? 609 00:27:05,061 --> 00:27:06,730 Nope. Had a bash. 610 00:27:06,830 --> 00:27:08,531 Been meeting some great people across the U.S. of A.! 611 00:27:08,632 --> 00:27:10,100 Cool. 612 00:27:13,937 --> 00:27:16,239 I got some cash on hand from our last gate receipts. 613 00:27:16,339 --> 00:27:18,875 Figured that if you're gonna be gone for good, you'd need it. 614 00:27:18,975 --> 00:27:21,478 Stealing from the DWL bank now, huh? 615 00:27:21,578 --> 00:27:22,979 It's hard to steal from what's ours. 616 00:27:23,079 --> 00:27:25,582 Don't say ours. You made me think it was ours. 617 00:27:25,682 --> 00:27:28,184 It's yours. Dad bequeathed the DWL to you. 618 00:27:28,284 --> 00:27:30,487 - Because he wanted me cursed. - Well, cursed my ass. 619 00:27:30,587 --> 00:27:31,921 I seen the buzz building with Crystal. 620 00:27:32,022 --> 00:27:33,823 Without me. 621 00:27:33,923 --> 00:27:35,792 DWL's taking off like you always dreamt. 622 00:27:35,892 --> 00:27:37,560 Yet my brother's in a Mississippi motel room 623 00:27:37,661 --> 00:27:39,329 and my wife's near left me. 624 00:27:39,429 --> 00:27:40,964 Maybe you should ask yourself why. 625 00:27:41,064 --> 00:27:42,265 What the fuck do you think led me here! 626 00:27:42,365 --> 00:27:44,601 Mom's phone. 627 00:27:46,803 --> 00:27:49,673 I'm here, hat in hand, 628 00:27:49,773 --> 00:27:51,307 because I have been thinking about it. 629 00:27:51,408 --> 00:27:52,575 About how to get sympathy. 630 00:27:52,676 --> 00:27:54,444 About my brother. 631 00:27:54,544 --> 00:27:56,279 About how my actions 632 00:27:56,379 --> 00:27:58,181 have affected you 633 00:27:58,281 --> 00:27:59,883 and Staci and Thomas. 634 00:27:59,983 --> 00:28:02,786 "Dear old brother Ace," blah. 635 00:28:02,786 --> 00:28:07,190 "Wife and son," blah. 636 00:28:07,290 --> 00:28:09,659 Heard it all before, Jack! 637 00:28:09,759 --> 00:28:10,960 This is not going how I expected. 638 00:28:11,061 --> 00:28:12,729 'Cause you're not scripting it. 639 00:28:12,829 --> 00:28:14,364 I'm not just gonna say 640 00:28:14,464 --> 00:28:15,432 - what you want me to. - I kno-- 641 00:28:15,532 --> 00:28:16,666 I know all that. 642 00:28:16,766 --> 00:28:19,869 I need to say something, 643 00:28:19,969 --> 00:28:22,272 and then I will leave. 644 00:28:26,009 --> 00:28:27,243 May I sit? 645 00:28:40,557 --> 00:28:43,660 When Bill came to you... 646 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,662 with that big-time contract offer, 647 00:28:45,762 --> 00:28:47,030 I was stunned. 648 00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:48,732 I wasn't. 649 00:28:50,700 --> 00:28:53,837 Not because I don't realize how great you are, 650 00:28:53,937 --> 00:28:57,774 but because I'd come to rely on your talent, your persona. 651 00:28:59,542 --> 00:29:01,277 It was dynamic. 652 00:29:01,377 --> 00:29:03,847 DWL was working. 653 00:29:03,947 --> 00:29:05,648 And I could see our shared future together. 654 00:29:05,749 --> 00:29:08,051 And then Bill showed up... 655 00:29:08,151 --> 00:29:10,687 with a golden ticket just for you. 656 00:29:12,889 --> 00:29:15,425 I was not prepared for that. 657 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,542 You were gonna take your talents elsewhere. 658 00:29:19,662 --> 00:29:22,799 Just like LeBron, motherfucker. 659 00:29:25,068 --> 00:29:27,370 When that happened, that... that threw me. 660 00:29:29,706 --> 00:29:32,275 I guess it kinda... 661 00:29:32,375 --> 00:29:36,880 I-I--I don't guess. 662 00:29:36,980 --> 00:29:41,151 It knocked me down, and I was gutted. 663 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,357 Then I was embarrassed that, uh... 664 00:29:47,457 --> 00:29:50,794 that I wasn't offering up congratulations to you. 665 00:29:54,430 --> 00:29:57,667 And whether that was desperation or envy-- 666 00:29:57,767 --> 00:30:00,737 - Both. - What I am sure of is that I-- 667 00:30:00,737 --> 00:30:03,039 Humiliated me. 668 00:30:06,976 --> 00:30:09,913 I used what I knew as your brother, 669 00:30:10,013 --> 00:30:14,717 things only a brother would know... 670 00:30:14,818 --> 00:30:17,720 to push your buttons. 671 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,156 That, you did. 672 00:30:21,157 --> 00:30:25,161 Then instead of owning up to that, like a decent person... 673 00:30:29,032 --> 00:30:31,434 I told myself it was for your own good. 674 00:30:36,306 --> 00:30:39,075 Dad killing himself fucked me up. 675 00:30:41,845 --> 00:30:44,047 More than I care to admit. 676 00:30:46,583 --> 00:30:48,351 More than I thought. 677 00:30:53,857 --> 00:30:57,360 I loved him so much. 678 00:30:57,460 --> 00:31:01,231 I hated him so much. 679 00:31:01,331 --> 00:31:04,567 And I glossed over all that 'cause I couldn't change it. 680 00:31:07,717 --> 00:31:09,906 The love, the hate. 681 00:31:10,006 --> 00:31:12,208 The way he was, the way he wasn't. 682 00:31:14,744 --> 00:31:16,946 The way he went out. 683 00:31:19,282 --> 00:31:24,153 You and me are trying to survive after finding out 684 00:31:24,254 --> 00:31:26,556 that Spade men aren't supposed to survive. 685 00:31:29,826 --> 00:31:32,128 We're supposed to come home 686 00:31:32,228 --> 00:31:35,698 and blow our heads off on the back porch 687 00:31:35,798 --> 00:31:38,368 and let our sons clean us up. 688 00:31:38,468 --> 00:31:41,204 My God. 689 00:31:43,473 --> 00:31:45,755 That's... terrible. 690 00:31:45,875 --> 00:31:48,144 Jack, that's... 691 00:31:49,345 --> 00:31:52,115 I am truly sorry 692 00:31:52,215 --> 00:31:54,417 for the way that I've treated you. 693 00:32:00,990 --> 00:32:03,159 Please come home. 694 00:32:06,496 --> 00:32:09,265 Give me a chance to be a great brother to you. 695 00:32:14,671 --> 00:32:16,806 You were never a bad big brother. 696 00:32:16,906 --> 00:32:18,574 Only lately. 697 00:32:21,611 --> 00:32:24,614 I'm not a good guy who deserves a great brother anyway. 698 00:32:24,714 --> 00:32:26,849 I'm a shit heap all on my own. 699 00:32:26,950 --> 00:32:29,285 No, you're not. 700 00:32:29,385 --> 00:32:31,020 Then you don't know me very well. 701 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,556 I know the heart of you. 702 00:32:35,992 --> 00:32:40,596 Good uncle, teammate, friend. 703 00:32:40,697 --> 00:32:43,866 Jack, I'm not a good guy. 704 00:32:43,967 --> 00:32:45,969 Farthest thing from it. 705 00:32:46,069 --> 00:32:49,105 These people loved you before I turned you Heel. 706 00:32:51,107 --> 00:32:53,343 Let me help make it right. 707 00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:00,083 Jack, you know what I realized on this trip? 708 00:33:02,865 --> 00:33:06,589 After several disturbing 709 00:33:06,689 --> 00:33:08,271 interactions... 710 00:33:13,396 --> 00:33:15,698 I'm not good at making new friends. 711 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,069 I haven't made a new friend in years. 712 00:33:20,169 --> 00:33:21,437 Making friends was never hard 713 00:33:21,537 --> 00:33:23,406 because I was always part of a team. 714 00:33:23,506 --> 00:33:25,675 I had, like, instafriends, guys I met through sports. 715 00:33:25,775 --> 00:33:28,177 Everyone kind of had to be my friend. 716 00:33:28,277 --> 00:33:30,413 - That's not true. - Don't tell me that. 717 00:33:30,513 --> 00:33:32,348 I do bad shit. 718 00:33:32,448 --> 00:33:33,916 I say dumb things. I do dumb things. 719 00:33:34,017 --> 00:33:36,152 I broke Bobby's leg. 720 00:33:36,252 --> 00:33:38,354 I left the DWL because no one really likes me. 721 00:33:38,454 --> 00:33:39,956 I'm gone because any other promotion 722 00:33:40,056 --> 00:33:41,224 would have run me outta town. 723 00:33:41,324 --> 00:33:42,792 We're not any other promotion. 724 00:33:42,892 --> 00:33:44,060 But the worst thing I've done... 725 00:33:44,060 --> 00:33:47,263 the worst thing I've done 726 00:33:47,363 --> 00:33:49,699 is I told you you were gonna stay in Duffy 727 00:33:49,799 --> 00:33:51,634 and kill yourself like Dad. 728 00:33:56,139 --> 00:33:57,874 It's forgotten. 729 00:33:57,974 --> 00:33:59,776 I'm reminding you. 730 00:33:59,876 --> 00:34:01,944 I'm that guy. 731 00:34:01,944 --> 00:34:06,582 I'm the guy who said that. 732 00:34:06,682 --> 00:34:08,351 What kind of guy says that to his brother? 733 00:34:08,451 --> 00:34:10,019 Me. 734 00:34:10,119 --> 00:34:12,588 It's in the past. Don't matter. 735 00:34:12,688 --> 00:34:16,059 Everything that came to me after that statement, 736 00:34:16,159 --> 00:34:17,927 I set in motion. 737 00:34:18,027 --> 00:34:19,295 That's not true. 738 00:34:19,295 --> 00:34:21,097 Yes, it is. 739 00:34:22,732 --> 00:34:25,435 And yeah, yeah, 740 00:34:25,535 --> 00:34:29,252 you were kinda dick-ish about the belt, 741 00:34:29,372 --> 00:34:32,475 but I didn't have to say that. 742 00:34:32,575 --> 00:34:34,911 And yet I did. 743 00:34:35,011 --> 00:34:38,381 And I did it because I'm a selfish fuck 744 00:34:38,481 --> 00:34:40,683 who was praised his whole life for sports. 745 00:34:40,783 --> 00:34:43,052 And now that sports are over, 746 00:34:43,152 --> 00:34:45,788 I don't know what the fuck to do when I don't get it. 747 00:34:51,561 --> 00:34:55,098 I'm gonna go out and get us some food. 748 00:34:58,234 --> 00:35:01,304 I'm not coming home, Jack. 749 00:35:29,198 --> 00:35:32,101 Lord, please help me. 750 00:35:35,938 --> 00:35:40,343 Please... help me. 751 00:35:44,247 --> 00:35:47,250 I need help, Lord. 752 00:35:54,423 --> 00:35:56,759 You know where you're going next? 753 00:35:56,859 --> 00:36:01,164 Some wonderful, unknown place called "Not Duffy." 754 00:36:03,599 --> 00:36:05,968 I dunno. Due West? 755 00:36:06,068 --> 00:36:08,818 That's what they say, right? 756 00:36:08,938 --> 00:36:11,140 "Go West, young man. 757 00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:13,209 You're not getting younger." 758 00:36:20,082 --> 00:36:22,418 Sometimes I think about Dad... 759 00:36:24,387 --> 00:36:27,390 And if he's happier... dead. 760 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:32,895 You ever wonder if it's like... 761 00:36:32,995 --> 00:36:36,532 ...worse? What comes after this life? 762 00:36:38,434 --> 00:36:40,536 I'm just focused on this life. 763 00:36:44,473 --> 00:36:47,810 I think the thing that made Dad a sad man 764 00:36:47,910 --> 00:36:51,380 is that... 765 00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,783 he wanted something he never got. 766 00:36:55,985 --> 00:36:59,322 And it made him sad and... mean. 767 00:37:01,857 --> 00:37:04,827 I don't want something so much like being famous 768 00:37:04,927 --> 00:37:07,930 that I become sad and mean. 769 00:37:11,867 --> 00:37:14,070 The only thing that keeps me going is not that I think 770 00:37:14,170 --> 00:37:17,440 that this life's gonna be better, but... 771 00:37:19,675 --> 00:37:22,745 that what comes after we die might be worse. 772 00:37:24,981 --> 00:37:26,749 I made life hard on you. 773 00:37:29,252 --> 00:37:31,587 I shouldn't have. 774 00:37:35,391 --> 00:37:37,827 I'm really sorry. 775 00:37:41,764 --> 00:37:45,668 Thanks for coming all the way out here, Jack, really. 776 00:37:45,768 --> 00:37:48,738 If you ever feel bad about how things went down, 777 00:37:48,838 --> 00:37:51,741 just... 778 00:37:51,841 --> 00:37:54,043 let it go. 779 00:37:54,143 --> 00:37:56,812 It's forgiven. For reals. 780 00:38:00,049 --> 00:38:04,020 I care about you so very much. 781 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,454 I see that. 782 00:38:05,554 --> 00:38:07,690 Thanks. 783 00:38:14,830 --> 00:38:16,599 Uh... 784 00:38:20,236 --> 00:38:22,371 Please. 785 00:38:22,471 --> 00:38:26,776 For gas money and the room damage. 786 00:39:01,624 --> 00:39:03,312 Put me down you big oaf. 787 00:39:03,412 --> 00:39:06,048 - Come on. Come on. Over! - Help! 788 00:39:06,148 --> 00:39:07,683 Fuck you, Cottonmouth. 789 00:39:09,685 --> 00:39:10,853 Hey. 790 00:39:10,953 --> 00:39:13,456 Hey, Willie, I've been working on my reporter voice. 791 00:39:13,556 --> 00:39:15,124 Which sucks. Diego. 792 00:39:15,224 --> 00:39:16,459 Tell me why you're doing the move 793 00:39:16,559 --> 00:39:17,526 I scripted for The Dad. 794 00:39:17,626 --> 00:39:18,794 I told y'all. 795 00:39:18,894 --> 00:39:20,262 I just thought me ragdolling Crystal 796 00:39:20,363 --> 00:39:21,610 might be more unexpected. 797 00:39:21,731 --> 00:39:23,499 For who, me? 798 00:39:23,599 --> 00:39:24,900 'Cause I was up till 2:00 working on that shit. 799 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,869 I just thought you'd maybe like this better. 800 00:39:26,969 --> 00:39:28,938 - It's totally my fault. - It's not totally your fault. 801 00:39:28,938 --> 00:39:30,906 The fault is all of yours for not doing what I wrote. 802 00:39:31,006 --> 00:39:33,342 Would you do this to Jack? Huh? I don't think so. 803 00:39:33,442 --> 00:39:35,044 Hey, y'all gotta watch this. 804 00:39:35,144 --> 00:39:36,412 No, Debbie. Not now. 805 00:39:36,512 --> 00:39:39,048 Willie, I mean it. 806 00:39:39,148 --> 00:39:40,783 If you're just joining us, shocking video 807 00:39:40,883 --> 00:39:43,319 has surfaced of NFL linebacker Chris DeLeo 808 00:39:43,419 --> 00:39:44,420 assaulting his wife. 809 00:39:46,889 --> 00:39:51,293 Go [bleep, bleep]. 810 00:39:52,962 --> 00:39:54,764 The football star ragdolling his wife 811 00:39:54,864 --> 00:39:56,499 follows a disturbing trend of athletes 812 00:39:56,599 --> 00:39:58,267 and domestic violence, 813 00:39:58,367 --> 00:40:01,504 including all-star shortstop Joe Kwitkowski 814 00:40:01,504 --> 00:40:03,672 caught punching his girlfriend at a Las Vegas casino. 815 00:40:03,773 --> 00:40:05,508 White House Press Secretary Millicent Burgin 816 00:40:05,608 --> 00:40:07,777 had this comment moments ago. 817 00:40:07,877 --> 00:40:09,945 The President condemns the current wave 818 00:40:10,045 --> 00:40:12,114 of violence as highlighted by the rash 819 00:40:12,214 --> 00:40:15,251 of pro athletes caught on camera pummeling women. 820 00:40:15,351 --> 00:40:16,852 This Saturday, he and the First Lady 821 00:40:16,852 --> 00:40:19,922 will lead a call-to-action march on the National Mall 822 00:40:20,022 --> 00:40:22,658 in an effort to wipe out this national scourge. 823 00:40:22,758 --> 00:40:23,926 Informal protests 824 00:40:24,026 --> 00:40:25,494 have begun to form outside the headquarters 825 00:40:25,594 --> 00:40:28,197 of the NFL and MLB. 826 00:40:28,297 --> 00:40:32,935 When we come back, red wine, superfood or super poison? 827 00:40:34,837 --> 00:40:36,238 Wow. 828 00:40:36,338 --> 00:40:39,475 Y'all take the rest of the day. 829 00:40:39,575 --> 00:40:41,010 Turn that shit off. 830 00:40:46,682 --> 00:40:48,784 And then I shit-stamped his face. 831 00:40:48,884 --> 00:40:51,253 Oh, they fuckin' with you, Charlie, 832 00:40:51,353 --> 00:40:53,756 and they fuckin' with your business. 833 00:40:53,856 --> 00:40:57,126 - Wild Bill has a lotta fans. - Boom! 834 00:40:57,226 --> 00:40:59,442 Yeah, they're having a nice laugh. 835 00:40:59,562 --> 00:41:01,030 They think they're funny, guys. 836 00:41:01,130 --> 00:41:03,212 - Yeah, I can be funny. - Very. 837 00:41:03,332 --> 00:41:05,801 I can be funny, too. 838 00:41:10,606 --> 00:41:13,389 "Winning this title is by far 839 00:41:13,509 --> 00:41:16,378 the greatest moment in my life. 840 00:41:16,479 --> 00:41:18,881 A life that hasn't been too full of 'em. 841 00:41:18,981 --> 00:41:23,552 When I won that strap, I was on top of the world 842 00:41:23,652 --> 00:41:25,154 and y'all helped put me there. 843 00:41:29,525 --> 00:41:31,994 - Hey, you. - Hey. 844 00:41:32,094 --> 00:41:33,762 We're supposed to take the rest of the day off. 845 00:41:33,863 --> 00:41:35,965 I was just thinking about how things might go 846 00:41:36,065 --> 00:41:38,167 when Willie and Jack talk. 847 00:41:38,267 --> 00:41:40,135 Just wanted to walk through some stuff I was thinking. 848 00:41:40,236 --> 00:41:41,537 Makes sense. 849 00:41:41,637 --> 00:41:43,486 You think they're gonna, you know, maybe-- 850 00:41:43,606 --> 00:41:44,840 - Change things up? - Yeah. 851 00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:46,842 Yeah. I... 852 00:41:46,942 --> 00:41:48,344 I get why. 853 00:41:48,344 --> 00:41:50,012 Yeah, it's like, you know, when a big tornado 854 00:41:50,112 --> 00:41:51,480 devastates a town. 855 00:41:51,580 --> 00:41:53,249 No one wants to watch a tornado movie. 856 00:41:53,349 --> 00:41:54,683 Hmm. Yeah. 857 00:41:54,683 --> 00:41:55,951 I just... 858 00:41:56,051 --> 00:41:57,653 I just want to wrestle. 859 00:41:57,753 --> 00:41:59,788 I can't tell people what things can mean or should mean 860 00:41:59,889 --> 00:42:02,157 or how whatever they're watching means what it means. 861 00:42:05,828 --> 00:42:07,263 You wanna get something to eat? 862 00:42:07,363 --> 00:42:09,698 Yeah. Sure. 863 00:42:09,798 --> 00:42:10,766 Cool. 864 00:42:12,001 --> 00:42:13,916 Crystal, I gotta ask you something. 865 00:42:15,504 --> 00:42:17,139 Yes, I was afraid Diego was gonna drop me. 866 00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,642 No. 867 00:42:19,742 --> 00:42:22,745 Uh, did it mean anything when you kissed me at the fair? 868 00:42:25,114 --> 00:42:27,082 Saying good night? 869 00:42:27,182 --> 00:42:29,685 I thought I felt certain, uh, 870 00:42:29,785 --> 00:42:32,421 a certain something extra. 871 00:42:32,521 --> 00:42:35,291 Tch. Uh... 872 00:42:35,391 --> 00:42:38,340 Not really. 873 00:42:38,474 --> 00:42:40,429 No. 874 00:42:40,529 --> 00:42:44,600 Okay then. Yeah, it's, uh, 875 00:42:44,700 --> 00:42:46,235 Sorry to have asked. 876 00:42:46,335 --> 00:42:48,571 I guess you can't really help it if you're naturally 877 00:42:48,671 --> 00:42:50,105 really good at it. 878 00:42:50,205 --> 00:42:54,944 When it means something... this is how I kiss. 879 00:43:04,787 --> 00:43:06,322 Any other questions? 880 00:43:06,422 --> 00:43:08,824 - Nope. - Good. 881 00:43:08,924 --> 00:43:12,041 Now if you don't mind, after dinner, 882 00:43:12,141 --> 00:43:14,930 we should probably just go to our neutral corners. 883 00:43:15,030 --> 00:43:16,298 Cool down. 884 00:43:16,398 --> 00:43:17,399 Focus. 885 00:43:17,499 --> 00:43:19,635 Sure. Yeah. 886 00:43:21,303 --> 00:43:23,038 I'm just gonna kiss you one more time first, though. 887 00:43:23,138 --> 00:43:24,873 Sounds good to me. 888 00:43:40,356 --> 00:43:41,323 Hey. 889 00:43:42,925 --> 00:43:43,993 Found him. 890 00:43:44,827 --> 00:43:46,875 He's not coming back. 891 00:43:46,996 --> 00:43:49,231 Sorry, Jack. 892 00:43:49,331 --> 00:43:50,899 He's going West. 893 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,336 Where, not sure. 894 00:43:54,336 --> 00:43:55,604 Wow. 895 00:43:56,038 --> 00:43:57,306 Yeah. 896 00:43:59,608 --> 00:44:00,843 Yep. 897 00:44:01,110 --> 00:44:03,045 How's things here? 898 00:44:05,260 --> 00:44:06,749 You haven't seen the news? 899 00:44:06,849 --> 00:44:09,385 I've been calling you, texting you, nothing. 900 00:44:09,485 --> 00:44:11,654 - Uh-uh. - Okay. 901 00:44:11,754 --> 00:44:15,391 All right, well, we need a women's division. 902 00:44:15,491 --> 00:44:17,359 It's time. 903 00:44:17,459 --> 00:44:18,894 Okay. 904 00:44:18,994 --> 00:44:20,663 Okay. So here, here's what I think we do. 905 00:44:20,763 --> 00:44:22,031 I think we bring in some stringers for a while. 906 00:44:22,131 --> 00:44:23,966 Women, you know, we can't have Crystal 907 00:44:24,066 --> 00:44:26,201 getting beat on each week by every man on our roster. 908 00:44:26,301 --> 00:44:28,437 And vice versa, she can't run through everyone. 909 00:44:28,437 --> 00:44:30,506 It's a nice little story, we've pulled it off this far. 910 00:44:30,606 --> 00:44:33,308 But it's not sustainable for business. 911 00:44:35,544 --> 00:44:38,914 You all right? 912 00:44:39,014 --> 00:44:42,518 Look, there's a reason your dad didn't want Ace doing this. 913 00:44:42,618 --> 00:44:45,220 He didn't think he was built for it. 914 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,256 He did think it was for you. 915 00:44:49,258 --> 00:44:50,893 Last couple days have been good for me though. 916 00:44:50,993 --> 00:44:52,561 You know, I think I really found 917 00:44:52,661 --> 00:44:54,296 some story areas that we can write toward, 918 00:44:54,396 --> 00:44:56,565 that we can keep exploring. 919 00:44:56,665 --> 00:44:58,934 I'm excited about where we can go. 920 00:44:59,034 --> 00:45:01,617 Just sorry we had to pivot a bit with Crystal. 921 00:45:01,737 --> 00:45:04,406 She's really something, Jack. 922 00:45:04,506 --> 00:45:05,941 I don't want to talk about Crystal. 923 00:45:07,976 --> 00:45:11,213 I'm... 924 00:45:11,313 --> 00:45:13,348 rethinking everything. 925 00:45:17,586 --> 00:45:19,354 Understood. 926 00:45:21,457 --> 00:45:23,192 See you later. 927 00:45:52,821 --> 00:45:55,891 How in the hell did you get in here?! 928 00:45:55,991 --> 00:45:57,726 Still got my key. 929 00:45:57,826 --> 00:45:59,862 You should really get a keypad, Jack. 930 00:45:59,962 --> 00:46:01,697 We had trouble working the spotlight at first. 931 00:46:01,797 --> 00:46:03,665 But luckily my cousin Paul spent a summer 932 00:46:03,766 --> 00:46:05,167 touring with Billy Squire. 933 00:46:05,267 --> 00:46:06,835 What was Squire's hit song again, Paul? 934 00:46:06,935 --> 00:46:09,371 -"Stroking"? -"Stroke Me!" 935 00:46:09,471 --> 00:46:11,540 Get off my property. Now. 936 00:46:14,743 --> 00:46:16,044 Turnabout's fair play, Jack. 937 00:46:16,145 --> 00:46:18,147 You came on my property, now I'm on yours. 938 00:46:18,247 --> 00:46:19,915 I thought about sticking one of those 939 00:46:20,015 --> 00:46:21,617 big red bows they put on new cars on myself, 940 00:46:21,717 --> 00:46:23,852 but that seemed like overkill. 941 00:46:23,952 --> 00:46:26,855 Big boy, I'm here to give props. 942 00:46:26,955 --> 00:46:28,557 I thought you'd painted yourself into a corner 943 00:46:28,657 --> 00:46:30,058 at the State Fair. 944 00:46:30,159 --> 00:46:31,593 But uh, you booked your way right out of that. 945 00:46:31,693 --> 00:46:34,730 I mean, Crystal. Wow, my hat is off. 946 00:46:34,830 --> 00:46:36,331 - Literally. - Very nice of you 947 00:46:36,431 --> 00:46:38,400 to drive all this way just to put me over. 948 00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:40,736 I want both of us to get over. I got a big heart. 949 00:46:40,836 --> 00:46:43,972 It's time we did a cross-promotion. 950 00:46:44,072 --> 00:46:47,543 Your guys against my guys, one ring, red rover red rover. 951 00:46:47,643 --> 00:46:49,311 People go nuts. We get rich. 952 00:46:49,411 --> 00:46:50,946 No, thank you. 953 00:46:51,046 --> 00:46:52,648 Leave your key on the way out. 954 00:46:52,748 --> 00:46:54,817 A smart man, a man with dreams and obligations, 955 00:46:54,917 --> 00:46:57,553 stops walking for a second and hears me out. 956 00:46:57,653 --> 00:46:59,321 Would that get you on your way faster? 957 00:46:59,421 --> 00:47:00,689 Think about it. 958 00:47:00,789 --> 00:47:02,791 I got your expat Rooster here on my payroll. 959 00:47:02,891 --> 00:47:05,260 You decided to fuck with me and punch me three times. 960 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,797 That crime is the most viewed video on Dystopia's Instagram. 961 00:47:08,897 --> 00:47:11,200 Bill and his big hairy fuck buddy Diego 962 00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:13,769 started talking shit about me on their brand new podcast. 963 00:47:13,869 --> 00:47:15,671 Now I wanna beat their brains in. 964 00:47:15,771 --> 00:47:17,372 All of this is "free story," Jack, 965 00:47:17,472 --> 00:47:20,742 the most precious commodity in our business. 966 00:47:20,843 --> 00:47:24,179 Jack, you know I was the best on the DWL roster, 967 00:47:24,279 --> 00:47:27,649 and you can get all of this back. 968 00:47:27,749 --> 00:47:30,118 At least for a couple of cards. 969 00:47:30,219 --> 00:47:32,221 - Fuck you, Deandre. - Ha ha ha. 970 00:47:32,321 --> 00:47:33,589 Fuck you, Jack. 971 00:47:33,689 --> 00:47:34,756 You fucking with my money when 972 00:47:34,857 --> 00:47:36,358 you fucking with Dystopia. 973 00:47:36,458 --> 00:47:38,694 Oh, listen, all of you were fucking with me. 974 00:47:38,794 --> 00:47:40,829 I went down to Florida to get my brother. 975 00:47:40,929 --> 00:47:43,198 Come clean, Charlie. You were poaching Ace. 976 00:47:43,298 --> 00:47:45,267 Poaching Ace just like you poached Rooster. 977 00:47:45,367 --> 00:47:48,070 Don't use the poach on me like I'm some fucking animal. 978 00:47:48,170 --> 00:47:50,005 Or an egg. 979 00:47:50,105 --> 00:47:52,040 Look, Jack, I just offered a couple guys a job. 980 00:47:52,140 --> 00:47:53,475 Okay? 981 00:47:53,575 --> 00:47:55,410 Everyone is very tense with being fucked with. 982 00:47:55,510 --> 00:47:57,980 But here's the thing, we live in an extraordinary time. 983 00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,382 The meaning of "fuck with" has changed. 984 00:48:00,482 --> 00:48:03,018 The meaning of "fuck with" has evolved. 985 00:48:03,118 --> 00:48:04,853 How's it go again Rooster? 986 00:48:04,953 --> 00:48:07,723 If I "fuck with" somebody, it used to be bad. 987 00:48:07,823 --> 00:48:09,124 Now it can be good. 988 00:48:09,224 --> 00:48:12,995 So, if "I fucks with you," then we good. 989 00:48:13,095 --> 00:48:16,498 So I wanna take the old definition, 990 00:48:16,598 --> 00:48:19,001 "You fucked with me," bad, and turn it into, 991 00:48:19,101 --> 00:48:20,736 "I fucks with you," good. 992 00:48:20,836 --> 00:48:22,571 Am I getting it right, Rooster? 993 00:48:22,671 --> 00:48:24,006 Oh, you're a quick learner, Gully. 994 00:48:24,106 --> 00:48:25,674 Yeah, well, young people keep me young. 995 00:48:25,774 --> 00:48:27,976 Jack, there's money lying on the floor. 996 00:48:28,076 --> 00:48:31,246 And all we gotta do is bend over and pick it up. 997 00:48:31,346 --> 00:48:32,714 Not interested. 998 00:48:32,814 --> 00:48:34,716 Jack, I'm here with an olive branch. 999 00:48:34,816 --> 00:48:36,718 Shove it up your ass. 1000 00:48:36,818 --> 00:48:38,921 That's not a nice thing to say. 1001 00:48:39,021 --> 00:48:42,524 That's not a nice thing to do with an olive branch. 1002 00:48:42,624 --> 00:48:45,160 When someone presents you with a peace offering, 1003 00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:47,362 especially a potentially lucrative one, 1004 00:48:47,462 --> 00:48:48,997 you should treat it with some affection, 1005 00:48:49,097 --> 00:48:53,168 not tell a guy to jam it up his bum. 1006 00:48:53,268 --> 00:48:56,038 Would you take my olive branch out of my bum, Jack? 1007 00:48:56,138 --> 00:48:58,707 That way we can have peace, profit, and by the way, 1008 00:48:58,807 --> 00:48:59,775 we can have olives. 1009 00:48:59,875 --> 00:49:00,709 You like olives, Rooster? 1010 00:49:00,809 --> 00:49:01,944 Yes. 1011 00:49:02,044 --> 00:49:03,812 Jack don't. Ha ha. 1012 00:49:03,912 --> 00:49:06,581 So maybe we should just go on ahead and go home. 1013 00:49:06,682 --> 00:49:07,616 That's a great idea. 1014 00:49:07,716 --> 00:49:09,184 Get the fuck on your way. 1015 00:49:09,284 --> 00:49:10,786 Okay, Jack, I guess the time for smokin' 1016 00:49:10,886 --> 00:49:12,888 the peace pipe is over. 1017 00:49:12,988 --> 00:49:14,923 What in the hell is happening? 1018 00:49:15,023 --> 00:49:16,725 How many people you got hiding around here? 1019 00:49:16,825 --> 00:49:20,662 Jack, this fireplug of a man is my attorney Sam Burphy. 1020 00:49:20,762 --> 00:49:22,831 He practices in Florida and Georgia, 1021 00:49:22,931 --> 00:49:25,200 but he especially enjoys Georgia because he says 1022 00:49:25,300 --> 00:49:27,002 it's like fish in a barrel up here. 1023 00:49:27,102 --> 00:49:28,670 Sick 'em, Counselor. 1024 00:49:28,670 --> 00:49:30,405 This is personal injury litigation 1025 00:49:30,505 --> 00:49:32,207 pursuant to you trespassing onto petitioner's property 1026 00:49:32,307 --> 00:49:33,775 and punching petitioner in the face. 1027 00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:34,876 Yeah. You can't do that, Jack. 1028 00:49:34,977 --> 00:49:35,978 That's assault and battery. 1029 00:49:36,078 --> 00:49:37,346 And that's against the law. 1030 00:49:37,446 --> 00:49:38,780 My body is my body. 1031 00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:40,248 I have a right to its safety. 1032 00:49:40,349 --> 00:49:41,583 You violated it. 1033 00:49:41,683 --> 00:49:43,218 I lost a crown, I lost the feeling in my jaw, 1034 00:49:43,318 --> 00:49:44,920 and I also lost about $3 million 1035 00:49:45,020 --> 00:49:46,888 worth of personal credibility. 1036 00:49:46,989 --> 00:49:48,690 You've been served. 1037 00:49:48,790 --> 00:49:50,859 - I'm so good at that. - Mm-hmm. 1038 00:49:50,959 --> 00:49:55,330 Ah-ah-ah, Jack. Paul's recording. 1039 00:49:55,430 --> 00:49:57,833 Also, an officer of the court is present, me. 1040 00:49:57,933 --> 00:50:00,068 So one punch under these circumstances 1041 00:50:00,168 --> 00:50:01,436 will secure petitioner's victory 1042 00:50:01,536 --> 00:50:03,705 and bring on a second lawsuit, which 1043 00:50:03,805 --> 00:50:05,073 petitioner will also win. 1044 00:50:06,241 --> 00:50:07,976 Let me stick my chin out there for you, Jack. 1045 00:50:08,076 --> 00:50:11,680 Go ahead. No? 1046 00:50:11,780 --> 00:50:14,950 All right, slugger, very good. 1047 00:50:15,050 --> 00:50:18,186 You seem to fancy yourself a master storyteller. 1048 00:50:18,286 --> 00:50:19,688 Well, tell me a story about a man 1049 00:50:19,788 --> 00:50:21,523 who thinks he can punch people without consequence. 1050 00:50:24,192 --> 00:50:26,428 That story is not this story. 1051 00:50:26,528 --> 00:50:28,997 But in the spirit of burying the hatchet, 1052 00:50:29,097 --> 00:50:32,034 you get to decide what the consequence will be. 1053 00:50:32,134 --> 00:50:34,236 You help me restore my honor in the ring 1054 00:50:34,336 --> 00:50:37,873 with a cross-promotion between the DWL and Dystopia 1055 00:50:37,873 --> 00:50:40,575 or I hit you back and take everything you got. 1056 00:50:44,913 --> 00:50:47,082 It is not for me to ask you 1057 00:50:47,182 --> 00:50:49,217 why the consequences of punching me 1058 00:50:49,317 --> 00:50:50,952 never occurred to you. 1059 00:50:51,053 --> 00:50:53,255 Maybe they did, and you dismissed them. 1060 00:50:53,355 --> 00:50:55,390 Not smart. 1061 00:50:55,490 --> 00:50:59,161 So you decide if you wanna take the olive branch 1062 00:50:59,261 --> 00:51:02,364 out of my bum and work together 1063 00:51:02,464 --> 00:51:06,168 or if you wanna watch me take every goddamn dollar you make 1064 00:51:06,268 --> 00:51:08,303 for the rest of your goddamn life. 1065 00:51:11,973 --> 00:51:14,543 I look forward to hearing from you. 1066 00:51:16,411 --> 00:51:18,480 All right, everybody, back on the bus. 1067 00:51:36,832 --> 00:51:39,067 Can't believe you found me. 1068 00:51:39,167 --> 00:51:41,470 I care about you. 1069 00:51:41,570 --> 00:51:43,371 We shared a lot. 1070 00:51:50,112 --> 00:51:52,514 How's that? Tender? 1071 00:51:52,614 --> 00:51:54,149 Yeah, a little. 1072 00:51:56,852 --> 00:51:58,520 Thought about you today. 1073 00:52:00,856 --> 00:52:02,090 You look different. 1074 00:52:03,658 --> 00:52:04,926 How so? 1075 00:52:05,026 --> 00:52:06,795 You didn't have any clothes on. 1076 00:52:08,997 --> 00:52:10,866 Aah! 1077 00:52:10,966 --> 00:52:12,801 That's for Bobby, motherfucker! 1078 00:52:12,901 --> 00:52:13,949 Payback time! 1079 00:52:14,069 --> 00:52:15,103 Get him! 1080 00:52:16,438 --> 00:52:17,772 What the fuck are you doing?! 1081 00:52:17,873 --> 00:52:19,407 Fucking you up! 1082 00:52:20,976 --> 00:52:22,544 Dad? 1083 00:52:24,146 --> 00:52:25,480 Say again, Mr. Spade? 1084 00:52:26,648 --> 00:52:30,018 Oh, he said, "Hold it together, Ace!" 1085 00:52:30,118 --> 00:52:31,686 I named you Ace because you're aces, Ace. 1086 00:52:31,786 --> 00:52:34,589 Number one! I warned you don't give up the fight! 1087 00:52:34,689 --> 00:52:36,758 Compete! Compete! 1088 00:52:36,858 --> 00:52:37,759 Compete! 1089 00:52:49,171 --> 00:52:53,108 Oh, shit. 1090 00:53:01,483 --> 00:53:05,287 It's so sexist that we can't have male wrestlers 1091 00:53:05,387 --> 00:53:07,589 beating on female wrestlers because people 1092 00:53:07,689 --> 00:53:09,958 get upset when they see real men beat real women. 1093 00:53:10,058 --> 00:53:11,439 I mean, okay, fine. 1094 00:53:11,540 --> 00:53:14,629 But how come they can't separate the two? 1095 00:53:14,729 --> 00:53:18,967 I, me, the Debs, know Crystal getting punched in the face 1096 00:53:19,067 --> 00:53:20,802 is pretend, for my entertainment, 1097 00:53:20,902 --> 00:53:24,072 just like when it happens to Jack or Diego or Bill. 1098 00:53:24,172 --> 00:53:26,107 I said this exact thing to Bobby. 1099 00:53:26,208 --> 00:53:28,376 Why can't people find it cool that a man 1100 00:53:28,476 --> 00:53:31,179 twice the size of Crystal is launching her across the room? 1101 00:53:31,179 --> 00:53:34,216 She's a character. She's not dead, okay? 1102 00:53:34,316 --> 00:53:36,618 She has the belt. We're gonna make sure she wins. 1103 00:53:36,718 --> 00:53:40,055 We just don't want it to look implausible every second. 1104 00:53:40,055 --> 00:53:41,790 She needs something to fight against. 1105 00:53:41,790 --> 00:53:45,060 You show me a woman who doesn't have to fight against men. 1106 00:53:45,060 --> 00:53:47,796 You can't. It's so sexist! 1107 00:53:47,896 --> 00:53:51,079 And the heck with the women who can't handle watching it. 1108 00:53:51,199 --> 00:53:55,570 I'm so sick of estrogen and fragile female egos. 1109 00:54:00,141 --> 00:54:02,310 Not sure it's fragility or estrogen. 1110 00:54:02,410 --> 00:54:03,845 It might just be people not wanting 1111 00:54:03,945 --> 00:54:04,980 to be thinking about bad stuff while they're 1112 00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:06,414 being entertained. 1113 00:54:06,514 --> 00:54:08,450 That might be it too. 1114 00:54:08,550 --> 00:54:10,485 What do I know? 1115 00:55:03,338 --> 00:55:05,640 Is it too late to say sorry? 1116 00:55:09,344 --> 00:55:13,448 I'm sorry I put the DWL first. 1117 00:55:13,548 --> 00:55:16,418 And I'm sorry that I haven't been the best me. 1118 00:55:16,518 --> 00:55:19,788 I'm sorry I kept your son from you. 1119 00:55:19,888 --> 00:55:23,124 I'm sorry. 1120 00:55:23,224 --> 00:55:26,795 I'm... I'm sorry too. 1121 00:55:27,996 --> 00:55:29,931 I love you so much. 1122 00:55:30,031 --> 00:55:33,001 I love you. 1123 00:55:33,101 --> 00:55:34,969 He missed you. 1124 00:56:02,564 --> 00:56:04,799 - Want Mama's bacon? - Yes, please. 1125 00:56:04,899 --> 00:56:05,867 Thank you very much. 1126 00:56:27,555 --> 00:56:31,860 Uh, Mom doesn't want me home. 1127 00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:33,895 Can I stay here? 1128 00:56:33,995 --> 00:56:36,197 Uncle Ace! 1129 00:56:36,297 --> 00:56:37,432 Of course. 1130 00:56:38,933 --> 00:56:40,135 I missed you. 1131 00:56:40,235 --> 00:56:42,203 Hey, dude.