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Back in the '90s, our
clothes were what defined us,
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but like most schools,
we had a dress code
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the kids were always violating,
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like wearing jeans that have been ripped
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or straps that were spaghetti
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or even tops that had been tubed.
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But there was no bigger
dress-code offender
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than the funny off-color T-shirts.
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Hey!
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Co-Ed Naked Baseball?
Is that some kind of joke?
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- Yeah, it's funny, right?
- Not to me.
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The lascivious implication is an affront
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to co-ed sports everywhere.
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And you! Get over here!
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How dare you promote the sport
of co-ed naked soccer?
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Lighten up, Coach.
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They sell these at Banana Republic.
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Oh, I got mine at Structure.
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It's like The Gap, but cooler,
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because they got Greco-Roman pillars.
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It's a blatant violation
of the school's dress code,
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and you know what that means.
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Sweet God, no, please. Not the bin.
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Oh, yes. The bin.
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Hey. You know the rules.
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Every student at this school
is required to dress...
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Neat, clean, and appropriate.
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And an untucked T-shirt
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glorifying a butt-naked
sporting event is...
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Neither neat nor clean nor appropriate.
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Very good. Now get out.
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Yep, Glascott was on a mission
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to make sure every student
followed the rules.
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Uh, excuse me. That skirt is in
clear violation of the dress co...
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Oh. You're not a student.
You're a Lainey.
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Thank you?
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Come on, the dress code clearly states
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that no skirt should be shorter
than your fingertips
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when your arms are down by your sides.
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I know that, and I'm good. See?
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All the way down.
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This is where they naturally
land. I'm sorry.
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I want your arms down by your
sides like a sloth, right now.
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I want sloth arms.
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And... violation.
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The dress code shouldn't even
apply to me, John. I'm a teacher.
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Exactly. If anyone should obey
the rules, it's you.
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I'm sorry, but we got to
take a trip to the bin.
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Listen to me.
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I will never, ever wear
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a dank, oversized shirt from the bin,
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so help me God.
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♪ One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here ♪
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♪ Live your life and finally be free ♪
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♪ Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do ♪
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♪ Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ♪
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It was January 22nd, 1990-something,
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and Coach Mellor and
his girlfriend, Nurse Julie,
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were enjoying their morning ritual.
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One cup of "Good Morning
America" for my lady.
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Two lumps of sugar and a dash of milk,
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just like the good Lord intended.
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What would I do without you, Rick?
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You would eat a lot less
root vegetables, Nurse Julie.
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Aww.
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- You guys are weird.
- But professional!
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You see, normally, I would
give her a kiss goodbye,
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but this is a place of business,
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so I'm going to send her off
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with an appropriate farewell canoodle.
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Mm!
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- Mm.
- Mm.
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For the record,
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canoodling is a thousand times
more disturbing than a kiss.
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Not for the canoodl-ees, Ms. Howell.
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There truly is no feeling
like mashing faces
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with the one you love.
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Whoa! Wait, love?
You dropped the L-bomb?
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Oh, God, no.
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I love Julie too much
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to actually let her know I love her.
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You see, every time I tell
a lady friend I love her,
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it ends in disaster.
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I either say it too early
or I say it at the wrong time.
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I even said it to an answering machine.
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That did not help me in court.
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So, you're never gonna tell
Julie you love her?
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Not with my mouth and words.
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But this weekend, I am giving her
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the perfect six-month anniversary gift
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that says "I love you" without
actually having to say it.
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Ooh. Whatcha thinking?
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I've narrowed it down
to a few romantic gems
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that speak to what's really
deep down in my heart.
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Blue lady shorts?
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Like mine, but for a lady,
because I love her.
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You know what gift
really says "I love you"?
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What? Tell me.
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Actually saying "I love you"!
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Oh, you do that well. Maybe
you could tell her I love her.
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- No!
- Well, someone has to tell her.
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Wait, that's it.
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Every time I go see my fam,
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I always tell them
how much I love Julie.
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They will definitely spill the
beans when they finally meet her.
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Introducing her to the family?
Wow. That's big.
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Huge.
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It's time Julie meets
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the most important people in my life.
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Julie, I want you to meet
my football family!
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Julie!
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Wait, we're... we're not meeting
your actual family?
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God, no. I wouldn't waste a Sunday
talking with those crazy people.
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This right here is
my real support in life.
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We've all had season tickets forever.
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Meet Fishtown Frankie, One Yard Jack.
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We got Willy wit' Whiz,
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and we got Willy wit' out Whiz.
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Get ready for the most exciting
6 1/2 hours of your life!
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Wait. How long is this game?
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Are you hungry?
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The Vet's got the best
soft pretzels in all of Philly.
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You can have my end nub if you want.
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It's the best part.
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No, thank you, Fishtown Frankie.
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Boy, you were right
about this one, Ricky.
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She's polite and pretty.
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Tell her what else I said,
like how she makes me feel.
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I think it's obvious.
He's head-over-heels in...
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Oh!
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Damn it!
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As Coach's plan got delayed,
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Glascott arrived with urgent news.
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Shut up, everyone! We got a
legitimate emergency on our hands!
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- What happened?
- Oh, my God.
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- Is everyone okay?
- It's a dress-code emergency!
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- You are the devil, John!
- Damn you, man!
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We've got school tours all this week,
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and Earl Ball said
to crack down on the dress code,
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so I've sent so many kids to the bin
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that I've run out of triple XL muumuus!
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- How many naked co-ed sports are there?
- 58.
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Co-ed naked sports
was just the beginning.
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They keep pushing the limits
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to what inappropriate pun
they can print on a T-shirt.
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- Like this.
- Oh, God.
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Is that worm coming out of
the bucket supposed to be a...
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That's right, Elizabeth. It's a dong.
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- Mm.
- Can you believe it?
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- A dong!
- Ha!
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Okay, we need to amend
the school dress code ASAP.
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We're talking no clothing
with any kind of sports logos
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or band names or cartoon characters.
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Sorry, but no exceptions, CB.
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From now on, you wear regular ties only.
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But these hilarious ties
are what makes me me, okay?
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I wear my heart on my sleeve on my tie.
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Look, clothes are how people
express themselves,
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kinda like how my
super-cute Pearl Jam tee
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says I'm cool as balls.
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If I allow your band,
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then I have to allow bands like this.
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Butthole Surfers? That can't be real.
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And popular.
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To be safe, no more band names.
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Sorry, Johnny. Rush included.
Take that T-shirt off.
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You got it, boss man.
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Shirt back on! Shirt back on!
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Look, you can't just ban
entire groups of clothing.
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We just got to clearly define
exactly what clothes
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are neat, clean, and appropriate
and which aren't.
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Well, then, let me define it.
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Marvin the Martian is hereby acceptable.
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There's a lot at stake here, so I think
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it should be headed up
by someone with style.
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You're right. I'll do it.
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I was talking about me, Liz.
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I thought you said style.
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Ooh!
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Look at you,
doing the wave like a natural.
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Is this great or what?
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Listen, you would agree
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that we have a strong
relationship, right?
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I'd say it's more than strong.
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I'd say our relationship is jacked.
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So, it won't matter if I admit
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that I'm not actually an Eagles fan?
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If you're not an Eagles fan,
then w-w-what's your team?
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Bucs? Bears? Bills?
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Sweet Mother of Mercy,
do not say Cowboys.
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No, you're not getting it, Rick.
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I-I don't have a team because
I don't like football.
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What do you like? Baseball? Basketball?
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- No.
- Squash?
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Stop naming sports.
It's... It's just not my thing.
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Since when? We watched
all those games together.
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Because we just started dating.
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But like you said,
our relationship is jacked,
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so it shouldn't change anything, right?
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Whoa!
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Epic game yesterday.
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How'd it go with Julie?
Anyone drop the L-bomb?
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No. No L-bombs.
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But, uh, she did manage to
blow up my entire world.
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Turns out she was only
pretending to like the Eagles.
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So? It's all good, as long as she's
not a whack-ass Cowboys fan.
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Is she a Cowboys fan?
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She doesn't like any teams 'cause
she doesn't like football.
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- So, she likes baseball?
- Nope.
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- Volleyball?
- She doesn't like sports!
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What?! Is she some kinda maniac?!
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Hey, that's the love of my life
you're talking about!
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But yes, she may be a maniac!
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I mean, I can't believe this.
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I always thought I'd end up
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with a female version of myself.
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A female Mellor.
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A FeMellor.
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But I guess not.
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I'm so sorry, Rick.
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All right, Liz, what kind of clothing
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do you find neat, clean,
and appropriate?
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Well, for girls, clearly,
a stylish pantsuit
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and a funky tortoise-shell barrette.
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Wow. Good stuff, Liz.
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And for the boys?
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I'd like to enter into the record
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a 10-page report that I wrote.
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It's called "My Ties, My Choice:
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An Argument Against the Dress Code."
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I can't wait not to read that.
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I'm gonna ignore you entirely
and say the boys should wear
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cool khakis, a crisp button-down,
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and a matching sweater vest.
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- Fine choices, John.
- Are you two kidding me?
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You're just writing down
exactly what you're wearing.
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Because what we wear is neat,
clean, and appropriate.
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You know, how a teacher should dress.
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Are you saying I don't dress
like a teacher?
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No, no, she's not saying that.
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That's exactly what I'm saying.
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Look, she's wearing
a swimsuit and flip-flops.
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For your information,
I got this top at Express,
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in the "Look Hot at Work" section.
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And these are Steve Madden
fashion-forward work sandals.
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- They don't flip or flop.
- Oh, please.
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You've been flipping and flopping
around here all week, girl.
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Yes, I have noticed
multiple flips and flops
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when you walk in those.
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Okay. I'll prove it.
251
00:07:53,234 --> 00:07:54,233
Boom!
252
00:07:54,302 --> 00:07:56,768
There it was!
A flip, followed by a flop.
253
00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:59,805
I personally did not hear
the flip, but a flop was heard.
254
00:07:59,873 --> 00:08:01,840
Okay, fine. My cute shoes
occasionally flop,
255
00:08:01,909 --> 00:08:03,242
and I don't dress like a teacher,
256
00:08:03,344 --> 00:08:05,711
and thank God,
because I would never, ever
257
00:08:05,813 --> 00:08:07,012
want to be caught looking like her.
258
00:08:07,081 --> 00:08:08,214
And why would that be a problem?
259
00:08:08,282 --> 00:08:10,716
You look like
Paula Poundstone's unfunny aunt.
260
00:08:10,818 --> 00:08:11,917
How dare you insult
261
00:08:12,019 --> 00:08:14,253
Paula Poundstone's
sensible comedic wardrobe.
262
00:08:14,322 --> 00:08:15,421
Back me up here, CB!
263
00:08:15,489 --> 00:08:17,323
I have no opinion on pantsuits,
264
00:08:17,425 --> 00:08:19,325
but when will people
hear me out on the ties?
265
00:08:19,393 --> 00:08:21,959
Okay, this is starting to feel
a tad counterproductive.
266
00:08:22,061 --> 00:08:23,561
I'm just saying, we
shouldn't force the students
267
00:08:23,663 --> 00:08:25,697
to dress like something
Janet Reno farted out.
268
00:08:25,798 --> 00:08:27,565
Likewise, the students shouldn't dress
269
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,601
like the grizzled, non-speaking extras
270
00:08:29,703 --> 00:08:31,802
who worked the street corners
in "Pretty Woman"!
271
00:08:31,904 --> 00:08:34,372
Now it's gone from counterproductive
to deeply personal.
272
00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:35,673
Nothing personal.
273
00:08:35,775 --> 00:08:37,609
I'm just saying Liz wears
clothes that look like butt.
274
00:08:37,711 --> 00:08:41,312
I am a strong, independent woman, okay?
275
00:08:41,414 --> 00:08:43,414
So, I could
care less about what you think,
276
00:08:43,516 --> 00:08:44,682
'cause you are the butt.
277
00:08:44,784 --> 00:08:45,916
Are you crying?
278
00:08:46,018 --> 00:08:48,119
These are tears of strength,
because we win.
279
00:08:48,221 --> 00:08:51,723
Your street-trash clothes are
off the list, Pretty Woman!
280
00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:53,057
Well, I'm
flattered you think I look like
281
00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:54,726
America's sweetheart Julia Roberts.
282
00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:56,560
And you're very mean.
283
00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:59,195
Okay, well, you hurt my
feelings, so you are the mean!
284
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,472
So, where did we land on the ties?
285
00:09:04,426 --> 00:09:07,058
After Mellor found out the love
of his life didn't love sports,
286
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:08,761
Wilma found herself stuck in the middle.
287
00:09:08,832 --> 00:09:10,507
Okay, fine! I-I don't like sports.
288
00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:12,012
Why is that such a big deal?
289
00:09:12,086 --> 00:09:14,700
For guys like Mellor,
sports are a lifestyle,
290
00:09:14,725 --> 00:09:15,824
and if you're not on board,
291
00:09:15,849 --> 00:09:18,090
then you're destined to be
a sad sports widow.
292
00:09:18,159 --> 00:09:19,592
- Sports wha?
- Widow.
293
00:09:19,661 --> 00:09:21,427
Someone who loses
their significant other
294
00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:23,766
to football every Sunday
and Monday night.
295
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:24,804
I can deal with that.
296
00:09:24,836 --> 00:09:27,132
And every Saturday night is out
'cause of college football.
297
00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:28,901
Same with Friday night,
when Rick coaches here.
298
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,769
So, the entire fall is a wash,
299
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:31,970
but we'll... we'll make it up in winter.
300
00:09:32,073 --> 00:09:33,438
That's basketball and hockey season.
301
00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,708
And then comes baseball
in the spring and summer,
302
00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:37,710
which circles right back into football.
303
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,511
Oh, God. I'm gonna be a sports widow.
304
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:42,247
Hey! Got you your morning
cup of Joe already.
305
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,481
Rick, we... we need to talk
306
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,850
about this whole sports-widow thing.
307
00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:46,651
No, wait. Julie, me first.
308
00:09:46,721 --> 00:09:48,220
There's something I want to say to you.
309
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,123
I love...
310
00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:53,892
This was it. He was gonna
finally drop the L-bomb.
311
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,094
...football.
312
00:09:55,196 --> 00:09:56,161
Or not.
313
00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:57,763
And I think you're really nice, too.
314
00:09:57,832 --> 00:10:00,452
So nice that this Sunday,
it'll be just you and me.
315
00:10:00,477 --> 00:10:01,443
Screw the game.
316
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,710
It's Eagles vs. Giants.
317
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:04,718
Stupid Giants
and their big-city attitudes.
318
00:10:04,788 --> 00:10:05,953
"Oh, I'm from New York City!
319
00:10:06,055 --> 00:10:08,038
Let's hail a cab and eat awesome pizza!"
320
00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:10,474
- I hate them!
- Just watch the game on Sunday.
321
00:10:10,529 --> 00:10:12,093
I already have plans
to go to Lilith Fair.
322
00:10:12,162 --> 00:10:13,895
Lilith Fair? Why didn't you tell me?
323
00:10:13,997 --> 00:10:15,229
That's my favorite of all fairs.
324
00:10:15,298 --> 00:10:17,747
Really? Like, you'd want to go with me?
325
00:10:17,772 --> 00:10:18,676
Yes!
326
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,602
See? We can live a happy,
normal, non-sports life.
327
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,570
- Aw!
- Rawr.
328
00:10:23,639 --> 00:10:26,140
Do you have any idea
what Lilith Fair is?
329
00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:27,809
I assume it's a celebration
330
00:10:27,911 --> 00:10:30,611
of television and Broadway
superstar Bebe Neuwirth.
331
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,180
Lilith from "Cheers"? Really?
332
00:10:32,248 --> 00:10:34,348
Well, she's the only
famous Lilith there is.
333
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:36,250
You should have just said "I love you"!
334
00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:37,551
Please, teach me
everything there is to know
335
00:10:37,653 --> 00:10:38,751
about this Lilith and her fair.
336
00:10:38,854 --> 00:10:39,986
There is no Lilith!
337
00:10:40,088 --> 00:10:41,087
But fine.
338
00:10:41,156 --> 00:10:42,689
As Coach set out to prove his love,
339
00:10:42,757 --> 00:10:44,557
CB and I were proving
a point of our own.
340
00:10:44,659 --> 00:10:46,960
We'd show Liz and Glascott
we could obey the dress code
341
00:10:47,029 --> 00:10:48,862
by dressing exactly like them.
342
00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:51,364
Mmm! I smell a fresh pot
of French Roast.
343
00:10:51,466 --> 00:10:52,765
Yeah. I would love a mug.
344
00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:54,034
Uh, what are you guys doing?
345
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:55,202
- Nothing.
- Same ol'.
346
00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:56,837
You're dressed exactly like us.
347
00:10:56,939 --> 00:10:58,438
All I'm doing is obeying the dress code
348
00:10:58,540 --> 00:10:59,973
with this boxy, shapeless pantsuit.
349
00:11:00,042 --> 00:11:01,241
Yeah, and I'm just being me,
350
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:03,543
wearing this tasteful
sweater vest sans whimsical tie.
351
00:11:03,645 --> 00:11:05,378
Oh, God, who have I become?!
352
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,580
Okay, exactly what is the point here?
353
00:11:07,649 --> 00:11:09,850
Point is, with you two
in charge of the dress code,
354
00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:12,385
we'll all just be button-down,
frumpish goofuses.
355
00:11:12,487 --> 00:11:14,486
Well, I, for one, think
you look fantastic.
356
00:11:14,555 --> 00:11:16,889
Yeah. CB, I'm loving
this new look on you.
357
00:11:16,958 --> 00:11:18,858
Is that... JCPenney?
'Cause it feels like...
358
00:11:18,926 --> 00:11:20,783
- Yep. JCPenney.
- It is JCPenney.
359
00:11:20,861 --> 00:11:22,828
I knew it. I'd spot their
fall collection anywhere!
360
00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:24,496
Keep up the good work, buddy.
361
00:11:24,565 --> 00:11:25,697
No, don't praise us!
362
00:11:25,766 --> 00:11:27,166
We're trying to look absurd
to prove a point.
363
00:11:27,276 --> 00:11:28,908
Well, you've only proven that I'm right.
364
00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:31,036
I mean, if anything,
I should dress like you
365
00:11:31,105 --> 00:11:32,704
to show you how ridiculous you look.
366
00:11:32,806 --> 00:11:33,939
Please, Liz.
367
00:11:34,008 --> 00:11:36,175
You wish you could dress
half as fly as me.
368
00:11:37,979 --> 00:11:39,778
You have no idea what you've just done.
369
00:11:41,248 --> 00:11:43,915
With that, Liz wore the
biggest dress-code violation
370
00:11:44,018 --> 00:11:45,217
the school had ever seen.
371
00:11:45,319 --> 00:11:47,686
Needless to say, she'd gone overboard.
372
00:11:47,788 --> 00:11:49,654
Like, way overboard.
373
00:11:51,124 --> 00:11:52,357
Holy God.
374
00:11:52,425 --> 00:11:54,425
Oh, what? I'm just in
everyday teacher garb.
375
00:11:54,528 --> 00:11:55,694
No different from what you wear.
376
00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:56,895
It's totally different!
377
00:11:56,997 --> 00:11:58,463
You're wearing
the dress from "Pretty Woman."
378
00:11:58,532 --> 00:12:00,131
This skirt is the same length
379
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,666
as some of those fly get-ups
380
00:12:01,735 --> 00:12:03,401
that you were bragging about earlier,
381
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:06,070
proving my point that you should
dress more like a teacher
382
00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:07,672
because this is not a good look.
383
00:12:07,741 --> 00:12:09,641
I think we both know I've won.
384
00:12:09,743 --> 00:12:11,342
Oh, yes, indeed.
385
00:12:11,411 --> 00:12:13,378
Oh, no! What are you wearing?!
386
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,747
Dear Lord, Liz! With the people?!
387
00:12:15,816 --> 00:12:18,249
They see you, but they lack the context!
388
00:12:18,351 --> 00:12:19,751
I'll handle this, John.
389
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,252
Welcome, prospective parents.
390
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,340
I'm Liz Fleming.
391
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,542
I teach geometry and also girls' track.
392
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,009
- Just go.
- Okay, going.
393
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,913
Okay, listen up.
394
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:31,982
I've compiled a whole
lesson plan with everything
395
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:33,283
you need to know about Lilith Fair.
396
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,352
Just teach me the basics
so I can show Julie
397
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:36,487
that I care about her thing.
398
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,889
It all starts with this.
399
00:12:38,991 --> 00:12:40,023
Indigo Girls?
400
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,392
Two childhood friends
named Amy and Emily
401
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:45,262
begin performing passionate,
fearless folk rock
402
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,965
that paves the way for artists
like Lisa Loeb, Jewel,
403
00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:50,768
and that creepy sex zombie, Fiona Apple.
404
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:53,303
The most important
song you'll hear tomorrow
405
00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:55,539
is "Closer to Fine."
You need to know it by heart.
406
00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:56,606
Why? What's the big deal?
407
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,348
It's every woman's siren song.
408
00:12:58,373 --> 00:12:59,776
The moment we hear it, we have to drop
409
00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:01,177
whatever we're doing and sing along.
410
00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:03,045
Ah, yeah. Like Van Halen's "Jump."
411
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:04,380
I'm in. Hit me.
412
00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:05,736
Listen and learn.
413
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,941
♪ I'm tryin' to tell you
somethin' 'bout my life ♪
414
00:13:10,966 --> 00:13:11,932
Oh, boy.
415
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:15,324
♪ Maybe give me insight
between black and white ♪
416
00:13:15,426 --> 00:13:16,610
What's going on right now?
417
00:13:16,676 --> 00:13:19,646
♪ And the best thing
you've ever done for me ♪
418
00:13:19,714 --> 00:13:20,947
This is nothing like Van Halen.
419
00:13:21,016 --> 00:13:24,751
♪ Is to help me take my life
less seriously ♪
420
00:13:24,819 --> 00:13:27,186
♪ It's only life, after all ♪
421
00:13:27,288 --> 00:13:28,387
Whoa! Where'd you come from?
422
00:13:28,489 --> 00:13:29,689
Heard the song, so I'm here.
423
00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:34,360
♪ Well, darkness has a hunger
that's insatiable ♪
424
00:13:34,429 --> 00:13:35,694
It's like you're both hypnotized.
425
00:13:35,763 --> 00:13:38,764
♪ And lightness has a call
that's hard to hear ♪
426
00:13:38,866 --> 00:13:40,099
I feel very uncomfortable!
427
00:13:40,201 --> 00:13:43,469
♪ I wrap my fear around me
like a blanket ♪
428
00:13:43,571 --> 00:13:44,703
Where do you keep coming from?!
429
00:13:44,805 --> 00:13:47,906
♪ I sailed my ship of safety
'til I sank it ♪
430
00:13:48,008 --> 00:13:49,908
♪ I'm crawling on your shores ♪
431
00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:51,310
I [bleep] love this song!
432
00:13:51,379 --> 00:13:53,212
♪ I went to the doctor ♪
433
00:13:53,281 --> 00:13:54,846
Go back to the dress-code fiasco!
434
00:13:54,949 --> 00:13:55,948
♪ ...to the mountains ♪
435
00:13:56,016 --> 00:13:58,016
♪ I looked to the children... ♪
436
00:13:59,487 --> 00:14:00,453
So, what do you think?
437
00:14:00,521 --> 00:14:02,253
I think my relationship is doomed.
438
00:14:03,457 --> 00:14:07,726
♪ Closer I am to fine ♪
439
00:14:07,828 --> 00:14:09,260
As Coach and Julie were on the outs,
440
00:14:09,362 --> 00:14:10,829
we were in trouble with Glascott.
441
00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:13,231
Well, I hope you're happy!
442
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,033
Instead of impressing those parents,
443
00:14:15,135 --> 00:14:16,735
we gave them a math teacher
444
00:14:16,837 --> 00:14:18,604
who was dressed like
a mistress of the night!
445
00:14:18,706 --> 00:14:20,472
And even worse? All those people saw me
446
00:14:20,574 --> 00:14:21,773
wearing a plain old tie
447
00:14:21,842 --> 00:14:23,842
obscured beneath a drab sweater vest.
448
00:14:23,944 --> 00:14:25,010
Earl Ball is so mad,
449
00:14:25,112 --> 00:14:26,845
he decided to fix this mess himself.
450
00:14:26,914 --> 00:14:28,513
- What does that guy know about fashion?
- Nothing.
451
00:14:28,582 --> 00:14:30,949
He's making us go back to the
school's original dress code,
452
00:14:31,051 --> 00:14:33,151
which had clear-cut guidelines.
453
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,186
- Like, from when the school began?
- Yes!
454
00:14:35,288 --> 00:14:37,956
But the school was founded
by William Penn in 1689.
455
00:14:38,058 --> 00:14:38,923
Correct.
456
00:14:39,025 --> 00:14:41,058
Mr. Atkins, Front Desk Martha.
457
00:14:41,128 --> 00:14:42,260
If you please?
458
00:14:42,362 --> 00:14:44,295
Sweet Wilford Brimley, no!
459
00:14:44,397 --> 00:14:45,530
As you can see, these clothes
460
00:14:45,632 --> 00:14:47,365
are neat, clean, and appropriate.
461
00:14:47,434 --> 00:14:49,434
And also, it's all your fault!
462
00:14:49,503 --> 00:14:51,736
This is crazy. Now I can't even
wear a regular tie
463
00:14:51,804 --> 00:14:53,738
'cause ties haven't even
been invented yet?
464
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,194
Personally, I dig it.
465
00:14:55,219 --> 00:14:56,084
- What?
- What?
466
00:14:56,109 --> 00:14:57,142
Proceed.
467
00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,643
Seriously?
468
00:14:58,711 --> 00:15:00,478
You're gonna make everyone
dress like Quakers
469
00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:02,680
just so I can't wear
a cute skirt and sandals?
470
00:15:02,782 --> 00:15:04,682
Oh, my God. They're flip-flops,
and you know it.
471
00:15:04,784 --> 00:15:06,284
Face it. You have had it out for me
472
00:15:06,386 --> 00:15:07,785
ever since I started working here.
473
00:15:07,887 --> 00:15:09,187
Don't turn this around on me.
474
00:15:09,289 --> 00:15:10,455
Okay, my whole life,
475
00:15:10,557 --> 00:15:12,189
I've been teased and mocked
by girls like you.
476
00:15:12,291 --> 00:15:13,390
- Girls like me?
- Yeah.
477
00:15:13,492 --> 00:15:15,059
Pretty girls and stylish girls,
478
00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:16,827
girls who knew how to use a round brush.
479
00:15:16,929 --> 00:15:18,629
Okay, the trick is sectioning
off the hair...
480
00:15:18,731 --> 00:15:19,764
I don't want to know, okay?
481
00:15:19,866 --> 00:15:22,133
I'm never gonna know, and that's fine.
482
00:15:22,234 --> 00:15:24,835
I pride myself on being
strong and confident
483
00:15:24,937 --> 00:15:27,171
and not caring
what people like you think.
484
00:15:27,273 --> 00:15:29,707
But it turns out I do care.
485
00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:31,842
All you do is judge me, and it hurts.
486
00:15:31,944 --> 00:15:33,177
You know what really hurts?
487
00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:35,046
When people like you take one look at me
488
00:15:35,148 --> 00:15:36,981
and just assume
I'm the popular mean girl.
489
00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:39,316
I've worked really hard
to prove that's not who I am.
490
00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:41,351
Oh, great. They're making tears again.
491
00:15:41,453 --> 00:15:43,054
It's fine.
492
00:15:43,156 --> 00:15:45,889
Liz and I finally know where
we stand with each other.
493
00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:49,025
This thick wool does not breathe, dude.
494
00:15:49,127 --> 00:15:50,543
Ooh! Yes.
495
00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:51,895
Go stand over there.
496
00:15:53,864 --> 00:15:55,598
With his relationship
with Julie at stake,
497
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:56,733
Mellor realized he had to do
498
00:15:56,801 --> 00:15:58,215
whatever it would take to save it.
499
00:15:58,301 --> 00:16:01,042
Let's get ready to Lilith Faaaair!
500
00:16:01,105 --> 00:16:02,171
- Really, dude?
- What?
501
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:03,339
What's with the giant hat?
502
00:16:03,407 --> 00:16:04,607
Oh, this? Uh... I-I don't know.
503
00:16:04,676 --> 00:16:06,408
It just seemed like a...
hat kind of day.
504
00:16:06,478 --> 00:16:07,677
Really?
505
00:16:07,745 --> 00:16:09,512
So, you're not hiding
anything under there,
506
00:16:09,581 --> 00:16:11,981
like maybe a bulky radio headset
507
00:16:12,049 --> 00:16:13,649
so you can secretly hear the game?
508
00:16:13,718 --> 00:16:15,184
Baby, I told you. Today is about you.
509
00:16:15,286 --> 00:16:16,686
Come on!
510
00:16:16,788 --> 00:16:18,320
Let's... go.
511
00:16:18,422 --> 00:16:19,589
Holding?!
512
00:16:19,657 --> 00:16:23,045
I'm gonna be holding you
all day at Lilith Fair.
513
00:16:23,092 --> 00:16:24,527
I can see the antenna
sticking out of the top.
514
00:16:24,603 --> 00:16:26,301
In my defense, you weren't supposed to.
515
00:16:26,363 --> 00:16:27,607
Enjoy the game, Rick.
516
00:16:27,664 --> 00:16:28,763
Wait, no, hold on.
517
00:16:28,832 --> 00:16:31,165
I-I'll take off my secret
football hat, okay?
518
00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:32,400
We'll go to Lilith Fair.
519
00:16:32,502 --> 00:16:33,902
I'm sure they have a bar there
with the game on.
520
00:16:33,971 --> 00:16:36,170
Face it. We just like different things,
521
00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:39,107
and yours is all-consuming
and means everything to you.
522
00:16:39,175 --> 00:16:41,409
No, you mean everything to me,
so much so that I actually
523
00:16:41,511 --> 00:16:43,344
learned about your music,
and, honestly, it...
524
00:16:43,446 --> 00:16:44,613
kinda grows on you.
525
00:16:44,715 --> 00:16:45,914
Stop.
526
00:16:45,949 --> 00:16:48,016
You just want me to think
that you loved my thing
527
00:16:48,085 --> 00:16:50,418
like how I wanted you to think
that I loved sports.
528
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,854
Honestly... that's not what I want.
529
00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:54,889
What you want is your perfect FeMellor
530
00:16:54,992 --> 00:16:56,390
to spend your life with.
531
00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:58,093
And...
532
00:16:58,194 --> 00:17:00,427
I'm just not sure that that's me.
533
00:17:00,496 --> 00:17:01,962
Coach needed to prove her wrong,
534
00:17:02,031 --> 00:17:03,597
so he turned to
his Lilith Fair knowledge
535
00:17:03,699 --> 00:17:05,766
and sang the song no woman could resist.
536
00:17:05,835 --> 00:17:09,036
♪ I'm tryin' to tell you
somethin' 'bout my life ♪
537
00:17:09,138 --> 00:17:10,337
Holy crap.
538
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:13,741
♪ Maybe give me insight
between black and white ♪
539
00:17:13,843 --> 00:17:14,942
You learned this for me?
540
00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:18,278
♪ And the best thing
you've ever done for me ♪
541
00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:20,247
It's off-key, but it's beautiful.
542
00:17:20,282 --> 00:17:23,617
♪ Well, darkness has a hunger that's insatiable ♪
543
00:17:23,686 --> 00:17:24,985
I heard it, so I came.
544
00:17:25,054 --> 00:17:28,622
♪ And lightness has a call
that's hard to hear ♪
545
00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:32,091
♪ I wrap my fear around me like a blanket ♪
546
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,325
I heard it, too.
547
00:17:33,394 --> 00:17:36,996
♪ I sailed my ship of safety
'til I sank it ♪
548
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,332
♪ I'm crawling on your shores ♪
549
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,635
♪ I went to the doctor ♪
550
00:17:42,737 --> 00:17:44,904
♪ I went to the mountains ♪
551
00:17:45,006 --> 00:17:47,121
- This song trumps my anger at Lainey.
- ♪ I looked to the children ♪
552
00:17:47,214 --> 00:17:50,009
- I feel the same.
- ♪ I drank from the fountains ♪
553
00:17:50,078 --> 00:17:53,880
♪ And the less I seek my source
for some definitive ♪
554
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,554
♪ Closer I am to fine ♪
555
00:17:57,636 --> 00:17:59,003
♪ Yeah ♪
556
00:18:00,188 --> 00:18:01,620
I love you, Nurse Julie.
557
00:18:02,590 --> 00:18:03,990
Oh, my God.
558
00:18:04,092 --> 00:18:05,491
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
559
00:18:05,593 --> 00:18:07,059
I'm sorry I never said it before,
560
00:18:07,161 --> 00:18:09,828
but I was just afraid that
if I did, I'd lose you.
561
00:18:09,897 --> 00:18:11,362
Why would you think that?
562
00:18:11,431 --> 00:18:12,798
Because every time
I've said it in the past,
563
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:14,299
it always goes all wrong.
564
00:18:14,401 --> 00:18:15,500
But not this time.
565
00:18:15,569 --> 00:18:18,236
'Cause... I feel the same way.
566
00:18:18,338 --> 00:18:19,337
Yes!
567
00:18:19,439 --> 00:18:20,806
Please go.
568
00:18:20,908 --> 00:18:22,507
Hell no. I'm part of this.
569
00:18:22,576 --> 00:18:25,310
Look, i-it's amazing that
we can finally say it,
570
00:18:25,412 --> 00:18:28,279
but it doesn't change the fact
that I don't do sports.
571
00:18:28,348 --> 00:18:29,480
And I'm not asking you to,
572
00:18:29,549 --> 00:18:31,783
'cause as much as I love my teams...
573
00:18:31,852 --> 00:18:32,884
I love you more.
574
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,020
I love you, too, Rick Mellor.
575
00:18:35,089 --> 00:18:39,490
♪ Closer I am to fine, yeah ♪
576
00:18:39,593 --> 00:18:42,292
♪ Closer I am to fine, yeah ♪
577
00:18:42,361 --> 00:18:44,028
I gotta say, even though we're fighting,
578
00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:45,996
we still sing some
pretty kick-ass harmonies.
579
00:18:46,065 --> 00:18:47,264
Damn you, Indigo Girls.
580
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,133
You can bring together even
the worst of enemies.
581
00:18:49,202 --> 00:18:51,001
Liz, I don't want to be your enemy.
582
00:18:51,104 --> 00:18:52,425
I want to be your friend.
583
00:18:52,504 --> 00:18:53,737
Really?
584
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,039
Yes.
585
00:18:55,107 --> 00:18:57,041
I'm sorry I've been so judgy.
586
00:18:57,143 --> 00:18:58,608
Same.
587
00:18:58,677 --> 00:19:00,144
And even though I hate to admit it,
588
00:19:00,213 --> 00:19:03,314
I... I've always kind of wanted
a cool friend like you.
589
00:19:03,415 --> 00:19:05,082
If you ask me, you're
brilliant and strong
590
00:19:05,151 --> 00:19:06,283
and you know who you are.
591
00:19:06,385 --> 00:19:08,552
There's... nothing cooler than that.
592
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:11,555
Oh, my God. That's the nicest
thing anyone's ever said to me.
593
00:19:11,623 --> 00:19:13,891
Now, what do you say we save
this school from Quaker hell
594
00:19:13,993 --> 00:19:16,126
and fix this dress code
once and for all?
595
00:19:16,229 --> 00:19:18,162
♪ Well, darkness has a hunger... ♪
596
00:19:18,264 --> 00:19:20,864
And so the school finally
settled upon a dress code,
597
00:19:20,966 --> 00:19:23,366
which was written up by me
and a close friend of mine.
598
00:19:23,468 --> 00:19:24,585
Cute blazer.
599
00:19:24,639 --> 00:19:26,369
Cute flip-flops.
600
00:19:26,437 --> 00:19:28,604
Oh, they're Steve Madden work sandals.
601
00:19:28,683 --> 00:19:31,424
We, of course, made some tweaks
to what was appropriate.
602
00:19:31,526 --> 00:19:32,591
Whoo!
603
00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,360
Yeah!
604
00:19:34,462 --> 00:19:35,895
I am me again!
605
00:19:35,997 --> 00:19:37,063
Thank you!
606
00:19:37,165 --> 00:19:38,364
Sometimes in life,
607
00:19:38,466 --> 00:19:40,733
the people we're closest to
can surprise us.
608
00:19:40,836 --> 00:19:43,203
Damn it. Now I'm making tears.
609
00:19:43,305 --> 00:19:45,305
We see them a certain way for so long
610
00:19:45,406 --> 00:19:47,573
that when they reveal a
different side of themselves,
611
00:19:47,675 --> 00:19:49,275
it can be tough to accept,
612
00:19:49,377 --> 00:19:50,976
But when you love someone,
613
00:19:51,078 --> 00:19:52,878
you'll do anything to be with them,
614
00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:56,215
even if it means having
to make a few compromises.
615
00:19:56,317 --> 00:19:59,017
'Cause in the end, if you
set aside your differences,
616
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:01,619
you'll see that person
for who they really are,
617
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:04,789
and you just might find
it makes you closer than ever.
618
00:20:04,892 --> 00:20:08,393
♪ Closer I am to fine, yeah ♪
619
00:20:18,599 --> 00:20:20,868
As always, here is your cup of coffee.
620
00:20:20,943 --> 00:20:23,236
Two lumps of sugar, a dash of milk,
621
00:20:23,338 --> 00:20:24,838
just the way you like it.
622
00:20:24,931 --> 00:20:26,283
At least you told me
you like it that way.
623
00:20:26,341 --> 00:20:28,173
Maybe you were... just being nice?
624
00:20:28,244 --> 00:20:30,017
I-I can put three lumps of sugar.
625
00:20:30,071 --> 00:20:31,855
Or four lumps, five lumps.
I can keep lumping.
626
00:20:31,947 --> 00:20:33,379
It... It's just a cup of coffee.
627
00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:35,282
Although, i-it feels like a good time
628
00:20:35,383 --> 00:20:37,184
to let you know
that I actually prefer tea.
629
00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:40,019
Ha! If it's tea you want,
Rick Mellor will tea you up.
630
00:20:40,121 --> 00:20:42,269
Okay. Ha. I got Ginger.
631
00:20:42,332 --> 00:20:43,605
Egyptian Licorice!
632
00:20:43,634 --> 00:20:45,534
Chai. Lapsang souchong.
633
00:20:45,636 --> 00:20:47,168
Jasmine. Earl Grey?
634
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,253
Darjeeling.
635
00:20:48,316 --> 00:20:49,827
Nightly Calm.
It's not nighttime, though.
636
00:20:49,897 --> 00:20:51,673
100% pure oolong tea.
637
00:20:51,776 --> 00:20:52,708
Japanese sencha.
638
00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:54,342
Pure rooibos.
639
00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:55,844
What do you like? Tell me what you like.
640
00:20:55,946 --> 00:20:56,978
Peppermint?
641
00:20:59,249 --> 00:21:00,454
I have no peppermint.
642
00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:05,540
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com