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No matter what school you went to,
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00:00:02,945 --> 00:00:05,562
we all had those same classic
Thanksgiving traditions,
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like the hand-turkey art exhibit...
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00:00:07,321 --> 00:00:08,553
Whoa.
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...the harvest formal,
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and the Thanksgiving food drive.
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Now, that's what
I'm talking about, Darla.
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Tell your parents thanks
for giving us...
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eight cans of chili paste?
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Really?
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00:00:20,926 --> 00:00:22,993
But for us, the most popular
Thanksgiving tradition
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was our alumni flag football...
a casual game
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where old friends could reconnect.
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Of course, Coach Mellor treated
it like the Super Bowl.
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Damn it, Ruben Amaro Jr.!
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Quit showboating,
and get your head in the game!
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We're only up by 42!
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Vanessa, stop trying to catch up
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with your friend
you haven't seen in 20 years,
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and catch the damn pass!
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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Boomshakalakalaka!
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Okay.
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What am I looking at now?
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That is my budget proposal
for this year's
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Annual National All-School
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Alumni Flag Football
Championship Face-Off
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Mellor Bowl Extravaganza...
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trademark pending.
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Rick, I told you.
Stop adding exciting names.
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We have to reprint the banner ever year.
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Don't worry.
I factored that into the budget.
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- $100,000?
- That's as low as I can go.
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There is legitimately no room
for negotiation on this.
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I'm not giving you a blimp
or a jumbotron, Rick.
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Fine, but I will never back down
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on the halftime air show
with the Blue Angels.
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I'll give you a cheese plate
and cucumber water.
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Add in lemon wedges, and we got a deal.
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- No.
- I got cucumber-only water!
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Mellor wins! You're going down, sucker.
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No, no. To be clear, I am not
coaching against you this year.
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Because I'm unbeatable?
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No, because you're
a hyper-competitive meanie
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who saps out every morsel of fun.
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I talked to the whole staff.
No one wants to do it.
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I can do it.
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Seriously? You want to coach?
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Why the surprise, Mellor?
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Because you're a science nerd
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who only exercises that
smartypants brain of yours.
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True, but I still love me some football.
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Well, at least we'll have
one coach out there
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who can keep it sane.
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"Sane" is another word for "loser."
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Good luck, smartypants brain lady.
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Ooh, trash talk. Exciting.
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No. You're supposed to trash talk back.
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Come on.
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I need to battle somebody
who knows how this works.
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How about you battle your own
alienating competitive attitude?
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That's good.
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I'll take on the only man in this school
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who's a worthy opponent... me.
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Look out, Rick Mellor,
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00:02:03,195 --> 00:02:05,161
because Rick Mellor is coming for you.
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Too late to back out?
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00:02:06,298 --> 00:02:07,264
Please don't.
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00:02:07,366 --> 00:02:08,798
Those tris. Ooh.
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Looking solid in the tri area.
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00:02:11,203 --> 00:02:14,255
♪ One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here ♪
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♪ Live your life and finally be free ♪
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♪ Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do ♪
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♪ Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ♪
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It was November 20th, 1990-something,
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and the William Penn cafeteria
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was observing a holiday
tradition of its own.
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Nine straight days of
turkey-based dishes?
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I mean, is this really something
people are asking for?
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You guys talking turkey, huh?
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- That's a chicken.
- Yeah.
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Listen, you guys are lucky,
'cause this Wednesday
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is the big faculty Friendsgiving dinner,
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held at my new party pad.
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- Eh... you know...
- Eh. Eh.
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Come on.
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You guys complain every year
about this tradition,
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but in the end,
we all have a blast, right?
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- Well...
- Yeah.
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- It's cool.
- That's a begrudging "yes."
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It's all right.
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00:02:54,413 --> 00:02:55,697
Let's see who's gonna bring what food.
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I'm just take out
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00:02:56,752 --> 00:02:59,215
my Apple Newton Personal
Digital Assistant here.
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Just gonna open my notes.
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00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,486
Whoops. Opened up an old note.
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00:03:03,588 --> 00:03:04,688
Gotta loop back.
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00:03:04,790 --> 00:03:05,855
Delete.
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00:03:05,957 --> 00:03:06,990
Delete.
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00:03:07,092 --> 00:03:09,292
Home screen. Enter password.
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00:03:09,394 --> 00:03:10,560
Oh, shoot. Delete.
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00:03:10,662 --> 00:03:12,829
And... the battery is dying.
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00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,130
Ignore message.
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00:03:14,232 --> 00:03:16,866
Okay, Randy G,
what do you want to bring?
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00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,536
Damn it. Well, at least you stayed.
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00:03:19,638 --> 00:03:21,404
Are you sure you really want
to do all that cooking again?
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Yes.
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00:03:22,574 --> 00:03:23,606
It's really important
that all the teachers
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spend one night a year
just maxin' and relaxin'.
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00:03:26,311 --> 00:03:27,911
I think the problem is
everyone would rather
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max and relax with their families.
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And you don't think
us teachers are a family?
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Well, sure. But we're a work
family, not family family.
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Well, I think that work family
is family family.
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Well, most people think family
family is family family.
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Okay, fine. It might not be
family family family,
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but it is work family family,
which is still family.
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If I promise to bring yams,
can we end this conversation?
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Yes. Okay.
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Let me just put you in my notes here.
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L-A... Shoot. Delete.
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While CB was getting outmatched
by fancy new tech,
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Coach was making sure
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he'd outmatch Wilma in flag football.
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Ah. There she is.
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My honorable opponent
for this casual game.
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00:04:03,248 --> 00:04:04,814
- Fun.
- Insane fun.
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00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:06,049
And since you're new
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and don't know
any of the alumni playing,
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00:04:08,386 --> 00:04:09,819
I took the liberty of creating
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two fair and evenly matched teams.
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I gave you some of the finest athletes
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to ever grace this school...
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like superstar and football legend
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00:04:17,596 --> 00:04:19,162
Deadly Dan the Man.
136
00:04:19,264 --> 00:04:20,630
Then, of course, there's Brenda Chu.
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00:04:20,732 --> 00:04:22,432
Girl's a beast on the field.
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00:04:22,534 --> 00:04:25,101
And I personally reached out
to Adam Goldfarb,
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my most memorable athlete
I had back in the '80s.
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00:04:27,572 --> 00:04:28,671
What's up with his eye?
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00:04:28,774 --> 00:04:30,006
Wonky... in a good way.
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00:04:30,108 --> 00:04:31,241
The man can see the whole field.
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00:04:31,343 --> 00:04:32,609
Ooh, I should make him my quarterback.
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00:04:32,711 --> 00:04:33,943
Ah. Yes.
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He definitely knows what that is.
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00:04:36,314 --> 00:04:37,447
And as for my team,
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00:04:37,549 --> 00:04:39,749
just a random assortment
of gangly scrubs
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like, uh, Ruben Amaro Jr., here.
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00:04:41,653 --> 00:04:42,652
This is gonna be a hoot.
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00:04:42,754 --> 00:04:43,720
Yes, it is.
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00:04:43,789 --> 00:04:45,974
Just a silly little game
amongst old friends.
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00:04:46,044 --> 00:04:47,906
These people are not your friends.
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We must win at all costs.
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This is, without a doubt,
the biggest game of your lives.
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00:04:53,965 --> 00:04:55,398
You do know I'm a professional athlete
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who played in the World Series?
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00:04:56,601 --> 00:04:58,334
Well, then, you're warmed up.
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Game on!
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00:04:59,437 --> 00:05:01,371
Hey, Rick, bad news.
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00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:03,773
My star quarterback,
Adam Goldberg, called.
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00:05:03,842 --> 00:05:05,842
He said, quote,
"'Terminator 2' just came out,
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00:05:05,944 --> 00:05:06,976
and I need to focus."
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Damn it, Goldfarb.
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You disappoint me athletically
even as an adult!
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It's fine. I got a solid replacement.
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Dear Lord.
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What's he doing here?
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00:05:20,659 --> 00:05:22,058
- Oh, you two know each other?
- Yeah. I know him.
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00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,827
That's my D-hole big brother.
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Well, that D-hole is my QB.
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Nick Mellor is prepared to play
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00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,067
this bastardized version
of America's game.
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Let's flag it up!
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00:05:32,337 --> 00:05:33,837
We seriously have to play
against this thing?
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00:05:33,905 --> 00:05:36,372
No, because Coach Wilma is cheating.
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You cheat, cheater.
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00:05:37,809 --> 00:05:39,275
You're the one who took
all the good players
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00:05:39,377 --> 00:05:40,510
and stuck me with the goobers.
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00:05:40,612 --> 00:05:41,811
You know about that?
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I can spot a goober a mile away,
'cause I was a goober.
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00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:46,115
You know, I just did this
to have some fun,
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but now you got me mad.
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Good, 'cause I like
a little competition.
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When this game is over,
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00:05:50,589 --> 00:05:53,356
you will look me in the eyes
and say, "Wilma wins."
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00:05:53,458 --> 00:05:55,024
You're going down, little bro!
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Yeah, s-suck it, Coach Mellor.
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00:05:57,495 --> 00:05:58,494
Also, hi, Coach Mellor.
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You're looking lean.
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00:05:59,698 --> 00:06:00,663
Okay, we ready for the coin flip?
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00:06:00,765 --> 00:06:02,065
No. No flip.
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00:06:02,167 --> 00:06:04,267
Not until you tell my big brother
he can't play in this game.
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00:06:04,369 --> 00:06:06,035
Nick's an alumni. Of course he can play.
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00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,371
Sounds to me like it's game on, bitch.
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00:06:08,473 --> 00:06:10,006
Whoa!
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00:06:10,075 --> 00:06:11,474
Okay, this is not a real game.
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00:06:11,543 --> 00:06:12,876
Let's lay off the "bitch" talk.
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00:06:12,944 --> 00:06:15,712
My bad. Just excited
to have fun out there.
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00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:17,680
She did it again!
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00:06:17,782 --> 00:06:18,948
Wilma, I'm a little thrown
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00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:20,884
by this whole new competitive
thing you got going on.
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00:06:20,952 --> 00:06:23,720
New? I'm the one that drove
my kids to place first
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00:06:23,788 --> 00:06:26,356
in the citywide
academic decathlon, remember?
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00:06:26,424 --> 00:06:27,657
Yeah, but that was math.
205
00:06:27,726 --> 00:06:29,459
I didn't think it would
translate to real things.
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00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:30,593
Oh, it translates.
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00:06:30,662 --> 00:06:31,694
Game on!
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00:06:32,964 --> 00:06:33,954
- Hey!
- I heard that!
209
00:06:34,024 --> 00:06:35,231
- I heard it.
- I saw it.
210
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,033
Wilma had shown a new side
of herself at school,
211
00:06:37,102 --> 00:06:40,069
and I was about to see
a new side of CB at home.
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00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:41,804
- Hi.
- Morning.
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00:06:41,873 --> 00:06:43,640
Thought I'd swing by
on my way to school.
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00:06:43,742 --> 00:06:45,041
No, uh, come in.
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00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:47,176
Uh, do you want a Danish
or some coffee or anything?
216
00:06:47,245 --> 00:06:48,678
I have neither. Um, I'm sorry.
217
00:06:48,780 --> 00:06:49,913
I'm a little bit frazzled.
218
00:06:50,015 --> 00:06:51,514
I wasn't expecting you. Oh, bed head.
219
00:06:51,616 --> 00:06:52,715
Oh, God.
220
00:06:52,784 --> 00:06:54,851
Wow. Really digging the new party pad.
221
00:06:54,953 --> 00:06:57,887
Oh, yeah. Here, let me
give you the grand tour.
222
00:06:57,956 --> 00:07:01,457
Here's my Sony three-disc
CD player with bass boost.
223
00:07:01,526 --> 00:07:03,192
In case you get bored,
whip out the Bop It.
224
00:07:03,295 --> 00:07:04,227
Beep-beep!
225
00:07:04,296 --> 00:07:05,628
Super fun-guy blow-up furniture.
226
00:07:05,697 --> 00:07:09,098
I'm standing outside,
'cause I have an outdoor patio.
227
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,967
Are you a fan of NBA star
Shaquille O'Neal?
228
00:07:11,036 --> 00:07:12,235
Do you like kung-fu?
229
00:07:12,304 --> 00:07:14,971
Well, now you can experience
both with... "Shaq Fu."
230
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,205
I don't know what that is,
231
00:07:16,274 --> 00:07:18,041
and I don't want to find out, so no.
232
00:07:18,143 --> 00:07:19,442
I just came by to drop off the yams
233
00:07:19,544 --> 00:07:20,977
'cause I can't make
Friendsgiving tonight.
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00:07:21,046 --> 00:07:22,578
Oh, no! Please don't bail.
235
00:07:22,681 --> 00:07:23,746
I know. I'm sorry.
236
00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:25,815
But it's the one time
everyone's back in town.
237
00:07:25,884 --> 00:07:27,383
Barry flew in,
and we're going to Buckets
238
00:07:27,452 --> 00:07:28,952
with Erica and the JTP.
239
00:07:29,054 --> 00:07:31,154
Well, thanks for the giant mound
of yams. Really appreciate it.
240
00:07:31,256 --> 00:07:33,022
Now we've got some great
leftovers for tomorrow.
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00:07:33,124 --> 00:07:34,624
Wait, tomorrow's Thanksgiving.
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00:07:34,726 --> 00:07:35,792
Right. Yeah.
243
00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:37,927
That means I'll be doing
my Thanksgiving plans
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00:07:37,996 --> 00:07:39,195
at my Thanksgiving appointment.
245
00:07:39,264 --> 00:07:41,564
You do have somewhere to go
for Thanksgiving, right?
246
00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:43,833
Yeah. Of course.
I got plans with my folks.
247
00:07:43,935 --> 00:07:45,134
Aren't they in the Bahamas?
248
00:07:45,236 --> 00:07:47,070
Mm. Yes. I did tell you that.
249
00:07:47,172 --> 00:07:48,972
I meant, um, my Philly folks.
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00:07:49,074 --> 00:07:50,807
Big dinner, 16 cousins.
251
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:53,076
We're all heading over
to my Aunt Sh... Shlamma.
252
00:07:53,178 --> 00:07:54,510
- Aunt who?
- Shaltmor?
253
00:07:54,612 --> 00:07:55,611
I don't know what you're saying.
254
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,046
My Aunt Sh... Shirlimonst.
255
00:07:57,071 --> 00:07:58,098
Are you saying "Shirlimonst"?
256
00:07:58,149 --> 00:07:59,649
- Are you?
- I think so.
257
00:07:59,718 --> 00:08:03,286
Anywhoozle, still got a ton of
stuff to cook for Friendsgiving.
258
00:08:03,388 --> 00:08:04,988
You do know school starts
in an hour, right?
259
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:06,422
Oh, no worries.
260
00:08:06,524 --> 00:08:08,124
I got three crock pots on high
261
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:11,094
and the Ron Popeil Showtime Rotisserie.
262
00:08:11,196 --> 00:08:13,629
You just set it and forget it.
263
00:08:13,732 --> 00:08:14,664
All right. Let's roll.
264
00:08:14,766 --> 00:08:16,332
You're wearing pajamas.
265
00:08:16,434 --> 00:08:17,900
Did forget that.
266
00:08:18,003 --> 00:08:19,669
As CB was setting and forgetting
267
00:08:19,771 --> 00:08:21,137
his Thanksgiving plans,
268
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,839
Wilma and Mellor were coaching a game
269
00:08:22,941 --> 00:08:25,808
to be remembered forever...
for all the wrong reasons.
270
00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:26,976
Come on, ref!
271
00:08:27,078 --> 00:08:28,478
He's not even pretending
to go for the flag!
272
00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:29,712
What do you want me to do?
273
00:08:29,814 --> 00:08:31,814
I told him this was just
for fun, but he won't listen.
274
00:08:33,952 --> 00:08:35,985
Sounds like your boys
have had enough, Ricky.
275
00:08:36,087 --> 00:08:38,287
- Never!
- Everyone calm down.
276
00:08:38,390 --> 00:08:40,718
This is supposed to be a
friendly game amongst friends.
277
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,592
- Aaaah!
- Ohh!
278
00:08:42,694 --> 00:08:45,028
All right, you know what?
Time to bring in the big guns.
279
00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:46,529
Fitzy, you're out!
280
00:08:46,631 --> 00:08:48,531
- I'm QB!
- You can't play!
281
00:08:48,633 --> 00:08:49,714
You're a coach! Tell him, ref.
282
00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:51,000
And an alumni.
283
00:08:51,102 --> 00:08:52,201
Tell her, ref.
284
00:08:52,303 --> 00:08:54,570
Well, if coaches can play,
I'm going in, too.
285
00:08:54,672 --> 00:08:55,838
Flags off!
286
00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:57,507
It's real football now!
287
00:08:57,609 --> 00:08:59,242
Game on, nerd lady!
288
00:08:59,344 --> 00:09:00,410
Blue 32!
289
00:09:00,512 --> 00:09:03,146
Please do not call plays
like this is a real game!
290
00:09:03,248 --> 00:09:04,313
Hut, hut!
291
00:09:15,260 --> 00:09:16,793
Okay, that's it! I'm calling the game!
292
00:09:16,895 --> 00:09:18,928
Which means we win!
293
00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:20,997
- Go on! Say it!
- Never!
294
00:09:21,044 --> 00:09:22,298
Say it! Say "Wilma wins"!
295
00:09:22,356 --> 00:09:24,161
Is she single?
296
00:09:24,577 --> 00:09:27,537
After the flag football fiasco,
Glascott was ready to celebrate
297
00:09:27,616 --> 00:09:28,979
the true spirit of Thanksgiving.
298
00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:30,299
We are pilgrims,
299
00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:32,854
and to show peace,
we give you this first dinner.
300
00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:36,284
And in return,
we give you all of our land.
301
00:09:36,362 --> 00:09:38,167
Thanks for being so giving.
302
00:09:38,231 --> 00:09:40,795
- Thanksgiving!
- Thanksgiving!
303
00:09:42,701 --> 00:09:45,795
Gobble gobble, everyone.
304
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,844
But seriously, I have
a big announcement to make.
305
00:09:47,912 --> 00:09:50,513
We will be extending
our Thanksgiving food drive
306
00:09:50,563 --> 00:09:51,729
through the weekend.
307
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:54,161
So, please bring any
leftover cans you might have.
308
00:09:54,239 --> 00:09:55,184
A...
309
00:09:55,253 --> 00:09:56,752
Gobble gobble.
310
00:09:56,855 --> 00:09:58,955
I, too, have a big announcement.
311
00:09:59,023 --> 00:10:01,757
Tomorrow at 4:00 p.m.,
3:00 p.m. central,
312
00:10:01,826 --> 00:10:03,960
there will be a flag football rematch.
313
00:10:03,985 --> 00:10:05,004
Wait, what?
314
00:10:05,029 --> 00:10:06,214
I'm looking for some tough players...
315
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,364
could be an alumni, a parent...
316
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:11,968
a strong uncle with soft hands
and elite escapability.
317
00:10:12,036 --> 00:10:13,402
Gobble gobble.
318
00:10:13,471 --> 00:10:15,271
I, too, would like
to make an announcement.
319
00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:18,007
There will not be
a rematch of today's game,
320
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:22,678
as I'm officially retiring
unbeaten, unbroken, and unbowed.
321
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,813
Thank you.
322
00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:25,748
And I'd like to announce
that's a punk move!
323
00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:27,216
Gobble gobble.
324
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,985
Well, I'd like to announce,
you just got to accept the fact
325
00:10:29,053 --> 00:10:30,920
that there's someone better than you.
326
00:10:31,022 --> 00:10:33,489
And I'd like to announce
that I'll take you on
327
00:10:33,558 --> 00:10:34,991
any time, any place!
328
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,893
And my announcement
is that there will be
329
00:10:36,961 --> 00:10:39,195
no more announcements ever.
330
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,934
Make your way to the nearest exit.
Gobble gobble.
331
00:10:45,003 --> 00:10:47,491
Losing to Wilma was something
Coach would never forget.
332
00:10:47,553 --> 00:10:48,971
As for CB, he learned
333
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,069
you don't set and forget
a whole Thanksgiving meal.
334
00:10:52,844 --> 00:10:55,397
- Bro! Your apartment's on fire!
- Fire?
335
00:10:55,444 --> 00:10:59,048
Okay, everyone, learn
while I'm gone, because fire!
336
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,451
All of it is gone.
337
00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:03,686
You don't know that.
338
00:11:03,755 --> 00:11:06,889
Um... maybe it's not as bad as it looks.
339
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,358
Not my Sony stereo with bass boost.
340
00:11:09,427 --> 00:11:11,127
How will I boost my bass?
341
00:11:11,229 --> 00:11:13,129
My fun-guy blow-up furniture.
342
00:11:13,197 --> 00:11:15,431
It's neither fun nor blown up!
343
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:17,700
Not you too, "Shaq Fu"!
344
00:11:17,769 --> 00:11:19,368
How could a simple fire
345
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:22,004
beat a 7-foot-tall kung-fu master
346
00:11:22,106 --> 00:11:24,573
who sometimes plays
professional basketball?!
347
00:11:24,676 --> 00:11:25,808
How?!
348
00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,376
Bop it.
349
00:11:27,445 --> 00:11:29,345
Dude, I've never seen you
actually mad before,
350
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:30,579
and it's weird.
351
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,081
I cannot wait to find out
352
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,516
what dillweed in this building
353
00:11:33,618 --> 00:11:34,617
is responsible for this.
354
00:11:34,686 --> 00:11:35,885
Well, found the culprit,
355
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,520
Oh.
356
00:11:37,588 --> 00:11:38,955
You're the dillweed.
357
00:11:39,023 --> 00:11:40,122
Well, the good news...
358
00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:41,624
you can tell the teachers
that they got their wish,
359
00:11:41,693 --> 00:11:43,392
'cause Friendsgiving is torched.
360
00:11:43,461 --> 00:11:44,860
It's gonna be okay, dude.
361
00:11:44,963 --> 00:11:46,228
You can stay with me
362
00:11:46,297 --> 00:11:47,563
until you figure out what to do.
363
00:11:47,632 --> 00:11:49,131
Nah. Barry's staying with you.
364
00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:51,133
I don't want to...
365
00:11:51,202 --> 00:11:52,802
I'll just sleep in my bedroom,
366
00:11:52,904 --> 00:11:55,037
otherwise known as the outdoor patio.
367
00:11:55,907 --> 00:11:56,839
Oh, spider!
368
00:11:56,908 --> 00:11:58,574
There's a spider.
369
00:11:58,643 --> 00:12:03,546
I hate this outdoor
patio bedroom so much.
370
00:12:03,648 --> 00:12:05,414
You two should be ashamed of yourselves
371
00:12:05,483 --> 00:12:08,684
for ruining that ridiculously
inaccurate Thanksgiving play.
372
00:12:08,753 --> 00:12:10,453
I hate to do this,
but as head of school,
373
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,887
you leave me no choice.
374
00:12:11,990 --> 00:12:13,622
You two are no longer allowed
375
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,359
to be competitive
on school grounds ever again.
376
00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:19,261
You do realize that I'm, like,
in charge of sports, right?
377
00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:21,297
And you just can't tell someone
not to be competitive.
378
00:12:21,399 --> 00:12:22,798
I mean, this is who I am.
379
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,533
Okay. Then let's get to the root
380
00:12:24,635 --> 00:12:28,170
of why you both refuse to lose,
no matter what the cost.
381
00:12:28,239 --> 00:12:31,273
Well... I grew up with
four older brothers.
382
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,676
They loved sports,
and I loved my microscope.
383
00:12:33,778 --> 00:12:36,012
They teased me and called me a loser.
384
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,448
That's why, as a kid,
I began to win at all costs,
385
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,150
so no one would ever call me
a loser again.
386
00:12:41,252 --> 00:12:42,184
Wow.
387
00:12:42,253 --> 00:12:43,185
Yes, it's very impressive.
388
00:12:43,254 --> 00:12:45,588
But not as impressive as my story.
389
00:12:45,656 --> 00:12:47,923
When I was a kid,
my dream was to have a family
390
00:12:47,992 --> 00:12:50,893
and to grow up to be
the dad I never had.
391
00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:54,430
Until I have kids of my own,
those students that I coach,
392
00:12:54,532 --> 00:12:57,166
those are my children.
393
00:12:57,268 --> 00:12:58,701
And this flag football game...
394
00:12:58,770 --> 00:13:00,242
is the only time
395
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,004
Daddy gets to see his babies.
396
00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:04,440
Really was a touching story, Rick...
397
00:13:04,542 --> 00:13:06,208
almost as touching as mine.
398
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:08,144
Well, did you cry during your story?
399
00:13:08,212 --> 00:13:10,530
- 'Cause Mellor cried.
- You don't think Wilma can cry?
400
00:13:10,577 --> 00:13:11,514
- Watch this.
- No...
401
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,775
Guys, do not compete
402
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,584
over who has the sadder backstory.
403
00:13:15,653 --> 00:13:16,852
But if you had to choose
404
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,421
who had the saddest
in this room, who would it be?
405
00:13:18,489 --> 00:13:20,990
Me. I win that game every day.
406
00:13:21,059 --> 00:13:22,058
So cut it out.
407
00:13:22,126 --> 00:13:24,193
Okay, boss. No more competing.
408
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,528
At the very least, you have my word.
409
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,330
- What? You think I can't stop competing?
- Not the way I can.
410
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,899
While I see the irony of you two
411
00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:31,834
competing over who can compete less,
412
00:13:31,903 --> 00:13:34,437
- I'm good if it ends all this.
- It's over.
413
00:13:34,505 --> 00:13:35,738
And we all agree, I won at losing.
414
00:13:35,807 --> 00:13:37,379
Which is what the winner would say,
415
00:13:37,426 --> 00:13:39,466
which means I won even though I lost!
416
00:13:39,545 --> 00:13:40,678
No, you lost lost because
417
00:13:40,757 --> 00:13:41,966
I stopped competing 10 minutes ago.
418
00:13:43,848 --> 00:13:45,514
I have been looking
for you guys everywhere!
419
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:46,849
I need your help. It's for CB.
420
00:13:46,918 --> 00:13:48,842
Ugh. Is this about his
annoying Friendsgiving?
421
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:49,985
So annoying.
422
00:13:50,054 --> 00:13:51,975
I liked the concept at first,
but he's annoying.
423
00:13:52,061 --> 00:13:53,546
He also lost everything in a fire.
424
00:13:53,631 --> 00:13:55,264
- Oh, my God!
- Poor CB. We love him so much.
425
00:13:55,359 --> 00:13:56,725
- Best guy ever. I really like him.
- Has a good heart. He's got a good heart.
426
00:13:56,761 --> 00:13:58,801
Are you done? 'Cause CB
has no family out here,
427
00:13:58,832 --> 00:13:59,862
and he refuses to stay with me.
428
00:13:59,931 --> 00:14:01,558
Well, he can stay with me. I insist.
429
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,137
Don't you have a parrot that swoops down
430
00:14:03,207 --> 00:14:05,401
on anyone that it perceives
as a rival for your affections?
431
00:14:05,503 --> 00:14:08,204
Well, I will show photos of CB
to Feather Locklear
432
00:14:08,272 --> 00:14:09,972
to let her know
we have a new houseguest.
433
00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:12,741
Okay. While Glascott runs things
by his avian life partner,
434
00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:13,943
why don't we pitch in
435
00:14:14,011 --> 00:14:16,278
to throw a kickass Friendsgiving
that CB deserves?
436
00:14:16,347 --> 00:14:17,546
Genius. What do you need?
437
00:14:17,615 --> 00:14:19,648
I am covering desserts,
Coop's on place settings,
438
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:22,551
Grange is covering decorations,
Johnny Atkins has a gourd guy.
439
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:23,719
So, we're on main course?
440
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,020
Exactly. You do turkey.
441
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,489
Wilma, can you do stuffing and sides?
442
00:14:26,591 --> 00:14:28,257
- On it.
- Great.
443
00:14:28,359 --> 00:14:29,458
This is perfect.
444
00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:31,393
Everybody knows Mellor
makes a mean turkey
445
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:34,130
- and an even meaner cranberry sauce.
- Hmm.
446
00:14:34,198 --> 00:14:35,464
Not as mean as mine.
447
00:14:35,566 --> 00:14:37,867
Cranberry sauce is like... my thing.
448
00:14:37,969 --> 00:14:39,135
Well, it can't be your thing
449
00:14:39,237 --> 00:14:41,170
because I said it's my thing first.
450
00:14:41,239 --> 00:14:44,244
Trust me. You do not want
to take on my sauce.
451
00:14:44,307 --> 00:14:47,776
Lady... this is a war you will not win.
452
00:14:47,879 --> 00:14:50,268
The battle between
Coach and Wilma raged on.
453
00:14:50,401 --> 00:14:52,581
Meanwhile, CB was in for an ambush.
454
00:14:52,646 --> 00:14:53,638
Whoa.
455
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,232
We found the makeshift hobo tent
456
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:57,553
- you set up under the bleachers.
- Yeah, well, that's because
457
00:14:57,622 --> 00:14:59,755
it wouldn't fit on my outdoor patio.
458
00:14:59,824 --> 00:15:01,223
Look, I want you to come
and stay with me
459
00:15:01,325 --> 00:15:02,451
until you're back on your feet.
460
00:15:02,522 --> 00:15:04,623
- Oh, no. I don't want to impose.
- I insist.
461
00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:06,506
Starting tonight,
you are staying with me
462
00:15:06,592 --> 00:15:08,020
and my territorial parrot
463
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,032
who pecks her own feathers
due to anxiety.
464
00:15:10,134 --> 00:15:11,912
- Put it there, roomie.
- I'm gonna snap.
465
00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:13,769
No, no. No snapping. And you know why?
466
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,471
'Cause the whole staff
has banded together
467
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,139
to throw you the Friendsgiving
that you deserve.
468
00:15:17,181 --> 00:15:18,948
- Really?
- Really.
469
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:21,944
- Surprise.
- Happy thing day.
470
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,412
Why are there so many gourds?
471
00:15:23,514 --> 00:15:25,247
You said go to my gourd guy
and get the gourds.
472
00:15:25,349 --> 00:15:26,382
I got the gourds.
473
00:15:26,484 --> 00:15:27,449
Doesn't matter.
474
00:15:27,518 --> 00:15:28,787
What matters most is that we're all here
475
00:15:28,865 --> 00:15:30,886
to celebrate you and the
magic of Friendsgiving...
476
00:15:30,955 --> 00:15:32,092
Do you mean "Friendsgi"?
477
00:15:32,146 --> 00:15:34,178
They gave me three minutes... three.
478
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,982
Well, what really matters is, uh,
479
00:15:36,045 --> 00:15:37,826
this killer meal
we organized just for you.
480
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,755
Attention, teachers of the lounge!
481
00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:42,661
The world's best cranberry sauce
has arrived!
482
00:15:42,716 --> 00:15:43,799
Which is mine.
483
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,091
Guys, where's the food
to put the sauce on?
484
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,480
- It... Um... Well...
- Oh.
485
00:15:47,568 --> 00:15:48,511
Yeah. Did...
486
00:15:48,582 --> 00:15:49,672
- I'll...
- Okay.
487
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,541
So, all we have for my
Friendsgiving is sauce?
488
00:15:52,601 --> 00:15:56,997
My recipe is so versatile
that it presents like a sauce...
489
00:15:57,060 --> 00:15:59,281
- Mine is so hearty...
- ...but goes down...
490
00:15:59,383 --> 00:16:01,045
- ...it eats like a meal.
- ...like a soup.
491
00:16:01,102 --> 00:16:02,301
Meal beats soup.
492
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,869
You two need to leave right now.
493
00:16:03,938 --> 00:16:05,437
No one is leaving until we all sit down
494
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,706
and tell CB how thankful we are
to have him in our lives.
495
00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:08,974
- Granger?
- Yes.
496
00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:10,476
Uh, I'm very thankful for CB...
497
00:16:10,544 --> 00:16:13,746
a man of true honor, who would
never criticize my banner.
498
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:14,880
- Wow.
- Johnny.
499
00:16:14,982 --> 00:16:17,016
I'm also thankful CB's here.
500
00:16:17,118 --> 00:16:19,084
Because of you, bro,
I got to reconnect with Brad,
501
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:20,152
my gourd guy.
502
00:16:20,221 --> 00:16:22,187
Such a solid dude. Always comes through.
503
00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:24,390
He's like CB, but just... the best.
504
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,492
Really was worth having
my place burning down
505
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,327
so that you could reconnect with Brad.
506
00:16:28,429 --> 00:16:29,795
You're welcome.
507
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,764
Rick, Wilma, give some
real thanks, quick.
508
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,399
Yes, I am thankful that CB
509
00:16:33,501 --> 00:16:34,700
is the heart and soul of this faculty...
510
00:16:34,802 --> 00:16:36,869
so kind, so caring, so honest.
511
00:16:36,937 --> 00:16:38,841
So, tell us... honestly...
512
00:16:38,903 --> 00:16:40,706
whose sauce is better... hers or mine?
513
00:16:40,808 --> 00:16:43,231
I'm thankful CB's gonna choose my sauce.
514
00:16:43,325 --> 00:16:44,443
Oh. Touching stuff.
515
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,745
I'd like to take my turn
and thank you all
516
00:16:46,814 --> 00:16:48,113
for throwing me a Friendsgiving
517
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,149
that truly reflects
what we mean to each other.
518
00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:51,417
- Aww.
- Aww.
519
00:16:51,519 --> 00:16:53,952
See, silly me considered
you all my family family,
520
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,754
but you're not.
You're not even my work family.
521
00:16:55,856 --> 00:16:57,323
You're just a bunch of
random people that I work with,
522
00:16:57,425 --> 00:16:59,458
and it's on me for trying
to make it anything more.
523
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,726
But we're all here for you.
524
00:17:00,828 --> 00:17:02,127
It's the thought that counts, right?
525
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,462
Let's be honest... none of you
526
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,197
actually really cared
about Friendsgiving.
527
00:17:07,034 --> 00:17:08,859
Enjoy the weekend with your families.
528
00:17:13,943 --> 00:17:16,011
After our disastrous Friendsgiving,
529
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,323
I took it upon myself
to restore CB's faith
530
00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:20,619
in his work family.
531
00:17:21,615 --> 00:17:22,781
Morning, sunshine.
532
00:17:22,885 --> 00:17:24,626
You look... awake.
533
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,628
I spent the night on Glascott's couch
534
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:29,164
with a hateful parrot staring me down.
535
00:17:29,233 --> 00:17:31,766
Look, I know our half-assed,
last-minute Friendsgiving
536
00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:33,877
didn't exactly make you feel
like we're there for you.
537
00:17:33,932 --> 00:17:34,965
Not even a little.
538
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:36,400
Well, I still refuse to give up.
539
00:17:36,468 --> 00:17:38,335
Even though I'm broke,
I bought you a few key things
540
00:17:38,404 --> 00:17:40,270
for your new party pad.
541
00:17:40,339 --> 00:17:43,573
Screw having a blow-up couch,
'cause you got a blow-up chair.
542
00:17:43,642 --> 00:17:45,776
Okay, it's a beach ball,
but you can sit on it.
543
00:17:45,878 --> 00:17:48,145
Sure, your Bop It's gone, okay?
544
00:17:48,247 --> 00:17:49,846
But you know what's even better?
545
00:17:49,948 --> 00:17:51,648
Cup-it.
546
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:52,983
Cup-it!
547
00:17:53,052 --> 00:17:53,984
Cup-it!
548
00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:56,286
And of course, no party pad is complete
549
00:17:56,388 --> 00:17:59,122
without a Swony stereo with bass boost.
550
00:17:59,191 --> 00:18:00,357
Did you just say "Swony"?
551
00:18:00,426 --> 00:18:02,793
Yes. It's actually better
than Sony and costs $10.
552
00:18:02,895 --> 00:18:04,861
Lainey, I really
appreciate what you did,
553
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:06,797
but this isn't on you to fix.
554
00:18:06,865 --> 00:18:08,298
It's on me for...
555
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:10,100
thinking all us teachers were family.
556
00:18:10,169 --> 00:18:13,003
Dude, we're dysfunctional
and competitive
557
00:18:13,105 --> 00:18:14,805
and we let each other down.
558
00:18:14,873 --> 00:18:16,773
But if that's not family,
I don't know what is.
559
00:18:16,842 --> 00:18:18,542
Okay, maybe you're there for me.
560
00:18:18,644 --> 00:18:21,411
But it's pretty clear nobody else is.
561
00:18:22,181 --> 00:18:24,014
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
562
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:24,981
Come on. Follow us, buddy.
563
00:18:25,084 --> 00:18:26,383
There's something you've got to see.
564
00:18:33,592 --> 00:18:34,991
Oh, my gosh.
565
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:39,429
What the...
566
00:18:39,531 --> 00:18:40,897
Is this all for me?
567
00:18:40,999 --> 00:18:42,599
We spread the word
that you lost everything.
568
00:18:42,701 --> 00:18:43,934
Oh, my God.
569
00:18:44,002 --> 00:18:46,636
Turns out, everything you need
is right here in this room.
570
00:18:48,407 --> 00:18:51,654
Sorry about that dinner, CB,
but we really are family.
571
00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:54,911
Not just us. Everyone in this school.
572
00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:02,386
Oh.
573
00:19:07,459 --> 00:19:09,159
Got to admit... it feels good
574
00:19:09,228 --> 00:19:10,861
knowing there's another
teacher in this place
575
00:19:10,963 --> 00:19:12,863
who likes to win as much as I do.
576
00:19:12,931 --> 00:19:16,099
I wanted to win so badly, I even
spilled my guts to Glascott
577
00:19:16,168 --> 00:19:18,268
about all that stupid
"wanting to be a dad" stuff.
578
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:19,936
Don't worry. I never told anyone
579
00:19:20,038 --> 00:19:22,205
about how my brothers
thought I was a loser.
580
00:19:22,307 --> 00:19:23,874
They couldn't be more wrong about you.
581
00:19:24,977 --> 00:19:26,209
Thanks.
582
00:19:26,311 --> 00:19:27,577
And I think everyone would agree
583
00:19:27,679 --> 00:19:29,346
you're gonna make one hell of a dad.
584
00:19:29,448 --> 00:19:30,480
Ah, damn it.
585
00:19:30,549 --> 00:19:31,948
You're gonna make me cry
for real this time.
586
00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:33,717
It's not a competition.
587
00:19:33,786 --> 00:19:35,519
That's the thing about Thanksgiving.
588
00:19:35,587 --> 00:19:37,788
It can make the most
competitive friends stop
589
00:19:37,856 --> 00:19:40,724
and be grateful that they have
each other in their lives.
590
00:19:40,793 --> 00:19:42,125
Happy Friendsgiving, Lain.
591
00:19:42,194 --> 00:19:43,360
I'll see you Monday?
592
00:19:43,462 --> 00:19:45,629
I'll see you tonight.
You're crashing at my place.
593
00:19:45,697 --> 00:19:47,964
No. I don't want to impose
on you and Barry.
594
00:19:48,066 --> 00:19:48,965
It's cool.
595
00:19:49,067 --> 00:19:50,367
Barry can stay at his mom's.
596
00:19:50,436 --> 00:19:52,096
Beverly Goldberg is more than happy
597
00:19:52,198 --> 00:19:54,204
to have any of her kids back
at home for the weekend...
598
00:19:54,264 --> 00:19:55,424
or forever.
599
00:19:55,534 --> 00:19:56,940
Are you sure?
600
00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:58,612
Of course. You're family.
601
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:00,143
Even when you've lost everything,
602
00:20:00,245 --> 00:20:03,180
your family is the one thing
you'll always have.
603
00:20:03,282 --> 00:20:05,415
It doesn't matter if it's family family
604
00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:06,750
or your work family,
605
00:20:06,852 --> 00:20:07,984
we should just be thankful
606
00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:09,519
to have the people we love at our side,
607
00:20:09,621 --> 00:20:10,887
and they'll stand by you.
608
00:20:10,989 --> 00:20:12,789
Yes.
609
00:20:13,326 --> 00:20:15,486
_
610
00:20:15,565 --> 00:20:17,142
What happened when you found out
611
00:20:17,205 --> 00:20:19,291
that your house was on fire
while you were teaching?
612
00:20:19,393 --> 00:20:20,885
The intercom went off in my room,
613
00:20:20,971 --> 00:20:22,878
and they said, "Your house is on fire."
614
00:20:22,963 --> 00:20:24,214
So I ran out of the building,
615
00:20:24,299 --> 00:20:25,924
and then I realized I didn't have a car.
616
00:20:25,982 --> 00:20:26,993
I walked to school that day.
617
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:28,284
So, I ran back in,
618
00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:30,654
and the receptionist at school
tossed me her keys,
619
00:20:30,786 --> 00:20:32,284
and I ran out to her car,
and then I realized
620
00:20:32,378 --> 00:20:33,417
I don't know what car she had.
621
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:34,964
So then I finally
got in the car and went,
622
00:20:35,057 --> 00:20:36,659
and there were firemen
623
00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:38,066
throwing burning logs
through the windows.
624
00:20:38,095 --> 00:20:39,001
It was crazy.
625
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,397
The principal of the school realized
626
00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:42,165
that I had been in class,
so they walked in,
627
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,994
and there were kids,
and they were still working.
628
00:20:44,063 --> 00:20:46,181
That made me proud, to think
that even though I wasn't there,
629
00:20:46,252 --> 00:20:48,205
- they carried on without me.
- Sweet.
630
00:20:48,252 --> 00:20:50,005
There was one time,
I was walking down the street,
631
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,619
and a woman pulled over
in her car and said,
632
00:20:51,675 --> 00:20:53,072
"I have some pots and pans in the back."
633
00:20:53,142 --> 00:20:55,244
And I still have
some of those pots and pans.
634
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:58,947
I am gonna be forever in debt
to the school community.
635
00:20:58,972 --> 00:20:59,968
That's beautiful.