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Back in the '90s,
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there was no more inspirational
sports movie than "Rudy."
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00:00:03,649 --> 00:00:05,929
His story gave hope
to little guys everywhere.
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Rudy makes me feel like
I can do anything.
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It's like Rudy feels on the inside
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what I look like on the outside.
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Sorry, Jonathan Taylor Thomas,
there's a new crush in town.
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I don't know. Rudy seems pretty shy.
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I could reach him.
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Air! Need air!
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Toby Murphy?
How long have you been in there?
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This time? Hard to tell.
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Come on.
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Ooh.
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I know your Aunt Julie, you know?
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Spectacular lady. We go to the same gym.
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A bit of a sweater,
but always very courteous
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about wiping down the equipment.
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Ronnie do this to you?
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I would never tattle on a teammate.
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I'm gonna kick his butt.
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And you're not his teammate
'cause you're not on the team.
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No, I-I can be
if you just give me a shot.
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I memorized the whole playbook.
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I've even been working up
a few new plays
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where my sickly muscle tone
won't be a disadvantage.
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Well, I appreciate the enthusiasm.
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You're a good kid.
But you're too damn small.
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I'm working on that, too.
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I've been mixing bone meal
with my Capri Sun,
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and I heard there's a place in Chinatown
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where they stretch you.
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Toby, if a thousand
gypsy-moths flew around
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unconvincingly in the shape of a boy,
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I would put them on the team before you.
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Now, let's go.
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Hey, Ronnie here?
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I want to bust his muscular hump
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for being mean
to this little garden gnome.
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Shh.
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00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:23,825
Why are you showing
Notre Dame game film?
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Somebody accidentally tape over
your copy of "Patch Adams"?
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You've never seen "Rudy"?
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The inspiring true story
of the small kid
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who got to play for Notre Dame?
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They let that twerp play?
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Kid looks like the dancing baby
from that "Ally McBeal" show.
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Well, sit down and watch
as Sean Astin does for football
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what Robin Williams
did for hospital clowning.
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So, Coach Mellor sat down
with a skeptical heart,
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and an hour later...
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Rudy! Rudy!
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Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
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...he realized, perhaps for the first time,
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that the small and the weak
had dreams of their own.
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Toby, you're on the team!
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What? Seriously, Coach?
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Yeah, seriously, Coach?
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Is this one of those Make-A-Wish deals?
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Ronnie, you may be big and athletic,
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but your massive shoulders
have left little room for heart.
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Well, this tiny goofball
has got more heart
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than all of you put together!
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We'll see you at practice, Toby Murphy.
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I'm gonna be a Quaker!
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Yes!
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Oh, I'm lightheaded.
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Can someone help me put
the straw in my Capri Sun?
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Try the pointy side.
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Oh.
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See that? He's coachable!
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♪ One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here ♪
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♪ Live your life and finally be free ♪
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♪ Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do ♪
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♪ Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ♪
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It was October 9th, 1990-something,
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and I was enjoying
some precious girl-talk
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with my homegirl, Erica Goldberg.
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You and Barry together still baffles me.
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You're so fun and he's,
like, this boring radiologist.
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He's a romantic radiologist.
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He sent me a lung X-ray
with a malignancy
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he said looks like me.
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00:03:01,324 --> 00:03:03,793
Lainey, the great thing
about a mobile phone
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is that you can take it anywhere.
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For example, not in my office.
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Ooh, is that Glascott?
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Is he still rockin' the sweater vest?
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Mm-hmm. Maroon under a wool blazer.
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I guess his middle gets cold.
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Please stop talking about my cold middle
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and take your Doc Martens off
of my Word-of-the-Day calendar.
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It's very... churlish of you.
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I am so excited for our girls' weekend.
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A seaweed wrap followed
by the best foursome
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in R&B... Boyz II Men.
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Lain, I don't know how to tell
you this, but, um, I can't go.
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But we do spa day
and boy band every year.
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Last year, both the band
and the sauna were 98 Degrees.
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Sorry.
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My mom is throwing a party that night
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for her half-birthday.
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Beverly Goldberg strikes again.
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- But I get it. Bye.
- Bye.
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Erica bailed.
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Now I have to find someone else
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who's down for hot stones and cool jams.
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Those are the words of someone leaving,
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and yet, here you are settling in.
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With Erica living three states away,
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I don't really have anyone
to hang out and girl-talk with.
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Except you, John.
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And not even really me.
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I think you should find someone who has
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a more confident take
on the relative kissability
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00:04:06,856 --> 00:04:09,323
of Jared Leto vs. Leonardo DiCaprio.
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Leo all the way.
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I felt the same way,
just not as strongly.
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I've never had a hard time
making girlfriends before.
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I've always been kind of a chick magnet,
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but most of the women
around here are so much older.
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Not sure I want a friendship
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where I have to drive you
to your appointments.
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What about Wilma Howell?
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She's young and can probably
still drive at night.
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Yes.
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I'll ask Wilma to be my new best friend
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and have her on this weekend with me.
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Maybe just ask her
if she wants to have lunch.
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Look at you, giving excellent
girlfriend advice.
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And don't worry,
whatever happens with Wilma,
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we'll always have us.
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I know that's not a threat...
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but it feels like one.
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Whoa. You can slow down there, Toby.
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I don't think cafeteria meat
has an expiration date.
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I need to bulk up.
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There's a scrimmage today,
and as of right now,
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my jersey looks like a choir
robe with a number on it.
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Speaking of choir,
that is a cool extracurricular
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that doesn't involve the risk of injury,
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as long as you care for your instrument.
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♪ Ming, mong, Ming, mong, Ming,
mong, Ming, mong, moong ♪
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♪ Ming, mong ♪
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Hi, Wilma! Mind if I join you?
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Actually, I'm not really eating.
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Me either.
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What I've actually got an appetite for
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is getting to know fellow
lady-teacher Wilma Howell.
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Who is she? What makes her tick?
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You noticed my tic?
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My eye gets twitchy when someone
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invades my personal space.
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All I see are those awesome lashes.
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Maybe she's born with it,
maybe it's Maybelline.
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Yeah, that's nice,
but I'd rather watch mold grow.
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Wow, message received.
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But ignored.
I am not easily discouraged.
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No, I seriously have to watch
this mold grow.
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I'm prepping samples
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for my first big
school-wide presentation
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to get kids excited about biology.
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This cafeteria is a hotbed
for airborne spores.
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Oh, you don't have to sell me.
I eat here every day.
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In fact, I really oughta wash my hands
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so I don't contaminate my samples
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while they're getting contaminated.
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- What... What are you doing?
- I'm going to the bathroom with you.
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That's where girlfriends go
to dish and gossip.
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Sure, and we can talk about
that weird woman
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who tries to follow people
to the bathroom.
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Ooh. She sounds creepy.
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Oh.
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00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,574
Listen, Lainey, I'm just not
into that whole gal-pal thing,
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especially with people I work with.
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Truth is, from an evolutionary
perspective,
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having female friends doesn't
serve any biological purpose.
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Unless you need a tampon.
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There goes my eye again.
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But I wasn't gonna give up.
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So, after school, I followed Wilma
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to see if I could make friends
with her out in the real world.
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Meanwhile, CB went to football practice
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to keep an eye on Toby.
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All right, team, huddle up!
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We're gonna run Blue 76 Fullback Swing.
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Toby, you're the quarterback's
first look on the strong side.
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You mean on the blind side
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'cause he'll be scrambling left
away from the pass rush.
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Ha! The rookie knows his stuff.
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While you guys were all out
having fun and dating,
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he was at home, completely
alone, studying the plays.
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Let's go!
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Break!
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You're giving Toby the ball? Oh, boy.
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He'll do great, exactly like Rudy.
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00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:54,588
Should have shown you "Lucas."
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00:06:54,657 --> 00:06:56,324
It's a more accurate portrayal
of a small boy
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00:06:56,392 --> 00:06:58,059
who gets tackled
and winds up in the hospital,
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clinging to life.
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00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:01,629
When CB got nervous, he juggled.
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00:07:03,032 --> 00:07:04,465
Set, hut!
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00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:11,372
Oh, my God! He caught it!
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00:07:14,344 --> 00:07:16,143
Run, Toby, run!
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00:07:16,245 --> 00:07:18,212
Yaaah!
206
00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:19,380
Yeah! He dodged him!
207
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,749
He do... Whew!
208
00:07:21,818 --> 00:07:23,584
- Whoo!
- He scored!
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00:07:23,686 --> 00:07:25,419
I can't believe it.
210
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,288
Boo-yah! Believe it, baby!
211
00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:28,823
I was wrong, Coach.
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00:07:28,891 --> 00:07:30,191
What you did here is a testament
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00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:31,726
to encouraging children to dream.
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00:07:31,794 --> 00:07:33,327
It's a great moment.
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00:07:33,429 --> 00:07:34,495
I doff my cap to thee.
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00:07:34,564 --> 00:07:36,263
And you ruined it!
217
00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:37,365
Did I do okay, Coach?
218
00:07:37,433 --> 00:07:38,933
You did awesome. You really sold it.
219
00:07:39,002 --> 00:07:40,101
"Sold it"? Sold what?
220
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,103
I almost forgot not to tackle him.
221
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,704
I see something so small and defenseless
222
00:07:43,806 --> 00:07:44,739
and I want to crush it.
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00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,142
Oh, my God.
I can't believe you'd do this.
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00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:49,910
- You fake-Rudy'd him?
- Exactly.
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00:07:49,979 --> 00:07:52,380
I just gave that boy the best
moment he'll have in his life
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00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:55,583
until he's at least, I'm guessing, 26.
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00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:56,717
Ha.
228
00:07:57,987 --> 00:08:01,622
What element makes up 65%
of the human body?
229
00:08:01,691 --> 00:08:03,257
Oxygen.
230
00:08:03,359 --> 00:08:05,359
And it's actually 65.4.
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00:08:05,428 --> 00:08:06,594
Right again.
232
00:08:06,662 --> 00:08:09,630
And thank you as always
for your very public correction.
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00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:12,600
Couldn't do it without
your very public inaccuracies.
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00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:14,602
And you said you didn't have
any female friends.
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00:08:14,704 --> 00:08:15,736
Did you follow me here?
236
00:08:15,838 --> 00:08:17,638
Meh, who's to say
who followed who, you know?
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00:08:17,707 --> 00:08:19,440
I am. I'm saying you followed me.
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00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:21,609
Can I get a Bahama Mama,
but instead of the orange slice,
239
00:08:21,711 --> 00:08:23,677
can I just get extra rum? Thank you.
240
00:08:23,746 --> 00:08:25,179
What star of "The Breakfast Club"
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00:08:25,281 --> 00:08:28,582
was in the original cast
of "Facts of Life"?
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00:08:28,607 --> 00:08:29,517
Tootie?
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00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,718
Molly Ringwald.
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00:08:30,787 --> 00:08:32,620
Correct!
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00:08:32,688 --> 00:08:34,655
- "Tootie"? Seriously?
- I'm sorry.
246
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:37,825
My brain isn't stuffed full
of useless pop-culture fluff.
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00:08:37,894 --> 00:08:39,660
But mine is, which would make us
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00:08:39,762 --> 00:08:42,997
the perfect teammates,
the Salt-N-Pepa of trivia.
249
00:08:43,066 --> 00:08:44,298
No idea who that is.
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00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,033
Exactly why you need me.
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00:08:47,837 --> 00:08:48,869
Fine.
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00:08:50,039 --> 00:08:51,572
You missed the whole point of "Rudy."
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00:08:51,641 --> 00:08:53,174
Rudy earned his moment of glory.
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00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,308
It wasn't just handed to him.
255
00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:56,444
Waa-waa. Nobody cares about that.
256
00:08:56,546 --> 00:08:57,711
What Rudy did on the field
257
00:08:57,780 --> 00:08:59,513
is the reason they turned his story
258
00:08:59,615 --> 00:09:01,682
into a beautiful movie
about sports triumph.
259
00:09:01,717 --> 00:09:03,384
Our little Toby just got to taste
260
00:09:03,453 --> 00:09:04,819
the sweet nectar of victory.
261
00:09:04,887 --> 00:09:06,220
What's he gonna taste in a real game
262
00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:08,322
when all his face holes get smashed in?
263
00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:10,291
Won't happen. Saturday is our last game,
264
00:09:10,393 --> 00:09:11,892
and I'm gonna keep him on the bench.
265
00:09:11,961 --> 00:09:14,595
But he'll always have the memory
of today's glory
266
00:09:14,664 --> 00:09:16,230
as he slogs through the next 50 years
267
00:09:16,332 --> 00:09:17,531
as a wimpy nobody,
268
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:20,267
trying to brighten his day
with kooky ties.
269
00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:21,335
Ah, really?
270
00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:23,571
We're going there, Mr. Short Shorts?
271
00:09:23,673 --> 00:09:25,706
Coach Mellor!
272
00:09:25,808 --> 00:09:27,908
Oh. Hi. Hi.
273
00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:29,376
Toby's Aunt Julie.
274
00:09:29,479 --> 00:09:31,345
Oh, please, just call me Julie.
275
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,447
- Julie.
- I got here early to pick up Toby
276
00:09:33,549 --> 00:09:35,149
and I saw that last amazing play.
277
00:09:35,251 --> 00:09:36,851
I took the rock to the house!
278
00:09:36,953 --> 00:09:38,519
Sure did, buddy. All you.
279
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,654
Will Toby be playing on Saturday, too?
280
00:09:40,723 --> 00:09:42,423
I wasn't gonna come,
but if Toby is playing,
281
00:09:42,525 --> 00:09:44,925
I'd love to see it,
and maybe afterwards,
282
00:09:45,027 --> 00:09:47,194
we could go out for pizza
and you and I could catch up.
283
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:48,356
Of course he's playing.
284
00:09:48,442 --> 00:09:50,631
You saw him take it to the house,
all on his own there.
285
00:09:50,733 --> 00:09:53,801
- Well, we'll see you Saturday.
- Okay.
286
00:09:53,903 --> 00:09:55,936
Holy crap, that got away from me.
287
00:09:56,038 --> 00:09:57,438
I might have just killed Toby.
288
00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:59,240
Well, on the bright side,
at least you can bring
289
00:09:59,342 --> 00:10:01,208
Aunt Julie as a date to the funeral.
290
00:10:03,757 --> 00:10:05,616
Wilma and I were
vastly different people,
291
00:10:05,694 --> 00:10:07,925
but those very differences
made us an awesome team.
292
00:10:07,979 --> 00:10:09,878
Uranium-235.
293
00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:11,683
Blink-182.
294
00:10:11,723 --> 00:10:13,456
Johannes Diderik van der Waals.
295
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,724
James Van Der Beek.
296
00:10:14,792 --> 00:10:16,425
The identification of chromosomes
297
00:10:16,494 --> 00:10:18,060
as the carriers of genetic material
298
00:10:18,129 --> 00:10:19,762
as stated in the Boveri-Sutton theory!
299
00:10:19,864 --> 00:10:20,997
Pogs.
300
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:22,798
- Correct answer!
- Mm!
301
00:10:22,876 --> 00:10:25,935
Time to tally up the score
and announce our winner.
302
00:10:26,037 --> 00:10:28,571
Winners. That would be us.
303
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,239
I'm so glad you stalked me here tonight.
304
00:10:30,275 --> 00:10:32,341
If we win, I probably won't even
call the cops on you.
305
00:10:32,410 --> 00:10:34,577
Listen, I have an extra ticket
to a show.
306
00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:36,345
Do you want to go to Philly
with me for the weekend
307
00:10:36,447 --> 00:10:38,047
to have a spa day and see Boyz II Men?
308
00:10:38,149 --> 00:10:40,616
That sounds really nice, but
I don't even know that group.
309
00:10:40,718 --> 00:10:42,251
"I'll Make Love to You."
310
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,586
I think you may have
different expectations
311
00:10:43,688 --> 00:10:44,654
for this friendship than I do.
312
00:10:44,756 --> 00:10:46,656
No, that's one of their hits. Like...
313
00:10:46,724 --> 00:10:49,292
♪ Motown Philly's back again ♪
314
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,228
♪ Doing a little east-coast fling ♪
315
00:10:52,363 --> 00:10:53,362
♪ Da-da-da ♪
316
00:10:53,431 --> 00:10:54,630
♪ Going off ♪
317
00:10:54,699 --> 00:10:57,099
♪ Not too hard, not too soft ♪
318
00:10:57,168 --> 00:10:58,100
That's Boyz II Men?
319
00:10:58,169 --> 00:11:00,169
Oh, I do know them. I'm in!
320
00:11:00,271 --> 00:11:01,637
Yes!
321
00:11:01,739 --> 00:11:04,073
♪ Motown Philly's back again ♪
322
00:11:06,077 --> 00:11:07,643
Really stressed about this.
323
00:11:07,712 --> 00:11:09,512
You can't let Toby play on Saturday.
324
00:11:09,547 --> 00:11:11,013
I also can't let the kid down.
325
00:11:11,115 --> 00:11:12,415
- Or his aunt.
- Mm-hmm.
326
00:11:12,517 --> 00:11:14,483
Eh, you made me lose count
of my blueberries.
327
00:11:14,552 --> 00:11:16,118
Look, it's better to break Toby's heart
328
00:11:16,187 --> 00:11:17,720
than all the bones in his body, okay?
329
00:11:17,755 --> 00:11:18,955
It is our job as teachers
330
00:11:19,023 --> 00:11:20,990
to deliver hard truths to these kids.
331
00:11:21,025 --> 00:11:22,425
Coach, check it out.
332
00:11:22,493 --> 00:11:25,861
Oh. It's a... Toby-sized
Letterman jacket.
333
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:27,763
Is that the one they made
for our halftime monkey
334
00:11:27,832 --> 00:11:30,132
before those wet blankets
at PETA shut us down?
335
00:11:30,201 --> 00:11:31,867
I'm the one who reported that.
336
00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:33,169
Monkey seemed so sad.
337
00:11:33,204 --> 00:11:35,538
I'm just so proud to wear it.
338
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,808
CB, you had some hard truth
you wanted to dump on Toby?
339
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:39,875
Yes.
340
00:11:39,944 --> 00:11:43,045
That jacket is dry-clean only.
341
00:11:43,147 --> 00:11:45,114
- Could get pretty pricy.
- Worth it.
342
00:11:45,149 --> 00:11:47,250
And plus, I've never felt
so popular before.
343
00:11:47,318 --> 00:11:50,286
And I've even seen a downward
trend in my pantsings.
344
00:11:50,355 --> 00:11:52,321
The only question is
do we get our cheesesteaks
345
00:11:52,423 --> 00:11:53,723
before or after the pedicures?
346
00:11:53,758 --> 00:11:55,224
During. We don't eat with our feet.
347
00:11:55,293 --> 00:11:56,392
Ding! Correct answer.
348
00:11:57,495 --> 00:11:58,461
Well, look at you two.
349
00:11:58,563 --> 00:11:59,929
Do I hear friendship bells?
350
00:12:00,031 --> 00:12:01,163
Ooh. Friendship Belles.
351
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,628
That should be our new name
for trivia night.
352
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,767
Nothing makes me happier
than when my teachers
353
00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:07,737
grow very close with someone
other than me.
354
00:12:09,173 --> 00:12:10,840
Oh, my God. Look at the way
he's eating his yogurt.
355
00:12:10,908 --> 00:12:12,041
Just like the guy from last night.
356
00:12:12,143 --> 00:12:13,142
Right?
357
00:12:13,244 --> 00:12:14,310
- Soupy!
- Soupy!
358
00:12:14,412 --> 00:12:15,344
You know what?
359
00:12:15,413 --> 00:12:16,946
I'm gonna go eat in my office.
360
00:12:16,981 --> 00:12:18,447
Yogurt should be private.
361
00:12:20,251 --> 00:12:21,651
Hello?
362
00:12:21,719 --> 00:12:24,387
Erica, what's up, girl?
363
00:12:24,489 --> 00:12:25,921
Your mom's party's been canceled?
364
00:12:25,990 --> 00:12:28,457
There's rain in the forecast and
the doves refuse to work wet.
365
00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:29,925
Your mom must be out of her mind.
366
00:12:30,028 --> 00:12:30,860
Who is she taking it out on?
367
00:12:30,962 --> 00:12:32,762
At the moment, Al Roker.
368
00:12:32,797 --> 00:12:35,564
But the good news is that
I'm back in for Boyz II Men.
369
00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:38,534
So, now you can do this weekend?
370
00:12:38,636 --> 00:12:40,670
Um... the thing is, actually, I...
371
00:12:40,738 --> 00:12:42,705
It's okay. Don't worry about me.
372
00:12:42,807 --> 00:12:44,240
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, just go with your friend.
373
00:12:44,309 --> 00:12:46,275
- I feel bad.
- Yeah, don't.
374
00:12:46,377 --> 00:12:48,044
All right.
I guess I'll see you on Friday.
375
00:12:48,146 --> 00:12:50,146
Girls II Boyz II Men. Yay.
376
00:12:52,183 --> 00:12:53,316
Sorry about that.
377
00:12:53,351 --> 00:12:55,151
Erica's my oldest friend
and I asked her first.
378
00:12:55,253 --> 00:12:56,485
Makes perfect sense.
379
00:12:56,554 --> 00:12:58,688
But you are officially my coolest friend
380
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,656
because you are being so cool
about all this,
381
00:13:00,758 --> 00:13:02,758
which is so cool.
382
00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:03,826
Cool.
383
00:13:04,529 --> 00:13:05,535
Oh, my God.
384
00:13:05,605 --> 00:13:07,496
Check out that girl dipping her
fries in her chocolate milk,
385
00:13:07,565 --> 00:13:09,098
just like Dippy last night.
386
00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:11,033
Do you remember Dippy?
387
00:13:11,102 --> 00:13:12,501
I should get to class.
388
00:13:12,603 --> 00:13:14,670
Wait, come on. Eh, Soupy's date.
389
00:13:14,772 --> 00:13:15,771
Dippy. Dippy!
390
00:13:15,873 --> 00:13:17,440
Listen, last night was great.
391
00:13:17,542 --> 00:13:18,841
Trivia, Soupy.
392
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:21,010
Let's just be good with that
and not try to make more of it.
393
00:13:24,082 --> 00:13:26,382
CB! Come on in here.
I got some good news.
394
00:13:26,451 --> 00:13:28,617
I figured out a way to get
this kid to play Saturday
395
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:29,819
without having to rename the field
396
00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:31,854
"Toby Murphy Memorial Stadium."
397
00:13:31,889 --> 00:13:33,989
Thank God. I was so stressed.
398
00:13:34,058 --> 00:13:35,324
I had to juggle it out all morning.
399
00:13:35,426 --> 00:13:37,493
You can't put that little nose
hair on the field, Coach.
400
00:13:37,595 --> 00:13:38,828
It's the last game of the season.
401
00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:40,329
I-I got scouts coming.
402
00:13:40,365 --> 00:13:41,530
My whole troop.
403
00:13:41,632 --> 00:13:45,534
We're gonna run one play,
and it goes like this.
404
00:13:45,603 --> 00:13:49,805
It's called the Red Dog 86 Omaha
Don't Let Toby Die.
405
00:13:49,907 --> 00:13:52,908
Oh, I feel very uncomfortable with this.
406
00:13:52,977 --> 00:13:54,477
So, this is another big fake-out,
407
00:13:54,579 --> 00:13:56,312
like when we let Toby
think he scored a touchdown?
408
00:13:56,414 --> 00:13:57,680
Exactly.
409
00:13:57,782 --> 00:13:59,615
We just give him the ball
and then we move him downfield
410
00:13:59,717 --> 00:14:00,649
like a herd of elephants
411
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:03,419
guarding a tiny, useless duckling.
412
00:14:03,488 --> 00:14:04,987
So, this has all been a lie?
413
00:14:06,724 --> 00:14:08,023
Toby.
414
00:14:08,059 --> 00:14:10,292
Well, okay, the touchdown, maybe,
415
00:14:10,395 --> 00:14:12,228
but that feeling it gave you,
416
00:14:12,296 --> 00:14:14,430
that moment of glory... that was real.
417
00:14:14,532 --> 00:14:15,798
I didn't ask for glory.
418
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:17,433
I asked for a shot
to be part of the team.
419
00:14:17,535 --> 00:14:18,768
And now I see I'm just a joke.
420
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:19,902
You're not a joke.
421
00:14:19,971 --> 00:14:21,704
No. I'm a duckling.
422
00:14:27,478 --> 00:14:30,179
Okay, I'm bummed. You bummed?
423
00:14:30,281 --> 00:14:32,047
So bummed.
424
00:14:32,150 --> 00:14:33,115
Let's go do some reps.
425
00:14:33,217 --> 00:14:34,817
Yeah.
426
00:14:37,355 --> 00:14:39,221
That's the last time I do
something completely selfless.
427
00:14:39,323 --> 00:14:40,389
Selfless?
428
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:41,957
You weren't even thinking about Toby.
429
00:14:42,059 --> 00:14:43,759
Seems to me like
you were more interested
430
00:14:43,828 --> 00:14:45,327
in grabbing a pizza with Aunt Julie.
431
00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:46,349
That's ridiculous.
432
00:14:46,431 --> 00:14:48,898
I have zero interest in empty carbs.
433
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,167
You got some soul-searching
to do, brother.
434
00:14:51,269 --> 00:14:53,135
I'm gonna leave you with these.
435
00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:55,154
Good luck.
436
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,028
With Erica back in
on our girls' weekend,
437
00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:59,873
I tried to score
an extra ticket for Wilma.
438
00:14:59,936 --> 00:15:01,511
Are seats five or eight available?
439
00:15:01,585 --> 00:15:04,153
And if not, what is your
age limit on lap babies?
440
00:15:04,255 --> 00:15:06,288
Forget it.
441
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,722
Do you ever have days where
everyone is annoying you?
442
00:15:08,769 --> 00:15:10,703
I do. Why are you in my office?
443
00:15:10,738 --> 00:15:12,972
I thought I successfully
pawned you off on Wilma?
444
00:15:13,074 --> 00:15:14,340
I'm worried I blew that friendship.
445
00:15:14,442 --> 00:15:15,474
No!
446
00:15:15,543 --> 00:15:17,276
Erica Goldberg suddenly became available
447
00:15:17,378 --> 00:15:18,477
for our girls' weekend.
448
00:15:18,512 --> 00:15:20,211
And you kicked poor Wilma to the curb?
449
00:15:20,305 --> 00:15:21,336
She said it was fine.
450
00:15:21,372 --> 00:15:22,405
We always say it's fine
451
00:15:22,474 --> 00:15:24,484
when a friend
callously brushes us aside,
452
00:15:24,547 --> 00:15:26,943
but the heart feels
what the mouth won't say.
453
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:29,879
I was trying to protect Erica
because she is my oldest friend.
454
00:15:29,981 --> 00:15:32,281
Which is why it's okay
to treat her like crap.
455
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,784
This new friendship
with Wilma is fragile
456
00:15:34,886 --> 00:15:36,052
and needs nurturing,
457
00:15:36,121 --> 00:15:38,588
- and I want this for you both.
- Me too.
458
00:15:38,656 --> 00:15:40,723
I'm gonna go figure out a way
to make this up to her.
459
00:15:46,164 --> 00:15:47,697
Oh, hi. Julie.
460
00:15:47,765 --> 00:15:50,366
Aunt Julie. Are you looking for Toby?
461
00:15:50,435 --> 00:15:52,835
I'm not sure if he has any more
dreams available to crush,
462
00:15:52,904 --> 00:15:55,071
but he loves that bike
if you want to slash the tires.
463
00:15:55,173 --> 00:15:57,006
Please don't.
464
00:15:57,108 --> 00:15:58,107
Come in, Coach.
465
00:15:58,176 --> 00:15:59,742
I was just opening up a Lunchable.
466
00:15:59,811 --> 00:16:01,577
We'll be in the sitting room.
467
00:16:01,646 --> 00:16:03,079
I feel bad about what I did to you.
468
00:16:03,181 --> 00:16:04,180
It was not okay.
469
00:16:04,282 --> 00:16:06,582
So...
470
00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:08,351
here's eight bucks.
471
00:16:08,453 --> 00:16:09,619
I think that's fair.
472
00:16:09,654 --> 00:16:12,121
You tricked me and made me
a laughing stock at school.
473
00:16:13,658 --> 00:16:15,525
As a teacher, you want to tell your kids
474
00:16:15,627 --> 00:16:17,193
they can do anything
they set their mind to,
475
00:16:17,262 --> 00:16:19,362
but sometimes, that's just a crock.
476
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,731
Look, I've always wanted to be a jockey,
477
00:16:21,766 --> 00:16:25,434
but unfortunately, I'm six feet
of solid tiger meat.
478
00:16:25,537 --> 00:16:27,236
But I really love football.
479
00:16:27,338 --> 00:16:29,839
And you can still be a part of it.
480
00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:33,009
I'm about to pay you the highest
compliment possible.
481
00:16:33,077 --> 00:16:35,278
Toby, I think you could be a coach.
482
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:37,680
I mean, I'm looking at some
of the plays you've drawn up.
483
00:16:37,749 --> 00:16:39,348
There's a lot of smart strategy here.
484
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:40,550
Maybe someday.
485
00:16:40,618 --> 00:16:42,285
But I've always had
my heart set on playing
486
00:16:42,353 --> 00:16:45,588
a real game, just once.
487
00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:47,190
Okay, pal.
488
00:16:47,292 --> 00:16:49,525
I owe you.
489
00:16:49,594 --> 00:16:51,627
You're going out
on that field on Saturday,
490
00:16:51,696 --> 00:16:53,329
and the reason it's gonna work
491
00:16:53,364 --> 00:16:55,698
is we're running one of your plays.
492
00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:58,568
Remember how I said I wasn't
in this for the glory?
493
00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:01,003
I would very much
like some glory, please.
494
00:17:01,105 --> 00:17:03,485
That's 'cause you're
a red-blooded American.
495
00:17:11,649 --> 00:17:14,483
Hey. Could you use these
for your project?
496
00:17:14,586 --> 00:17:15,918
I'm doing a presentation on mold,
497
00:17:15,987 --> 00:17:18,221
not hot dog buns that someone
has scribbled on
498
00:17:18,323 --> 00:17:19,589
with green marker.
499
00:17:21,192 --> 00:17:24,760
Well, it was supposed to be
kind of a peace offering.
500
00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:26,362
Shouldn't you be in Philly with Erica,
501
00:17:26,464 --> 00:17:29,899
getting Shiatsu'd with a belly
full of cheesesteak?
502
00:17:30,001 --> 00:17:32,969
I didn't go. I gave Erica both tickets.
503
00:17:33,004 --> 00:17:35,805
I just couldn't enjoy myself
after how I treated you.
504
00:17:35,873 --> 00:17:37,406
I'm actually grateful
because you reminded me
505
00:17:37,475 --> 00:17:39,308
why I'm not so keen on girlfriends.
506
00:17:39,377 --> 00:17:41,644
So much more relaxing
spending my free time
507
00:17:41,746 --> 00:17:43,546
with Aspergillus fumigatus.
508
00:17:43,648 --> 00:17:45,081
She's reliable, self-sufficient,
509
00:17:45,116 --> 00:17:46,916
and we both like
hanging out in my bathtub.
510
00:17:46,985 --> 00:17:48,551
But can she drive you to the airport
511
00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:49,952
or hold your hair when you're vomiting?
512
00:17:50,054 --> 00:17:52,521
No, but she can make you vomit.
Very toxic.
513
00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:54,523
And then penicillin
will fix you right up.
514
00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:57,693
That's the wild ride mold takes you on.
515
00:17:57,762 --> 00:17:59,428
Look, I like you, Wilma,
516
00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:01,697
and I don't seem to make friends
easily anymore.
517
00:18:01,799 --> 00:18:02,865
So, when I decide it's happening,
518
00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:04,500
I do not take no for an answer.
519
00:18:04,569 --> 00:18:05,468
Ask around.
520
00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:07,470
I-I'm as hard to get rid of as...
521
00:18:07,572 --> 00:18:10,206
that gross thing growing
on that toothbrush.
522
00:18:10,308 --> 00:18:12,508
- Ulocladium.
- Whatever it is.
523
00:18:12,577 --> 00:18:14,910
I hope the students
appreciate the awesomeness
524
00:18:15,013 --> 00:18:16,779
of what you have done here.
525
00:18:16,848 --> 00:18:18,648
When do your doors open?
526
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:19,712
Two hours ago.
527
00:18:19,751 --> 00:18:21,717
It's been kind of a soft opening.
528
00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:24,086
Because you need me to generate buzz.
529
00:18:24,155 --> 00:18:26,555
Come on. We made a heck
of a team doing trivia.
530
00:18:26,658 --> 00:18:27,923
We already have your science brains.
531
00:18:28,026 --> 00:18:30,059
- Now all we need is my...
- Useless fluff?
532
00:18:30,161 --> 00:18:31,761
I was going to saw showmanship,
but sure.
533
00:18:33,865 --> 00:18:37,300
♪ Moldtown Philly's back again ♪
534
00:18:37,402 --> 00:18:39,902
And so, with some assistance
from the Quaker's Dozen,
535
00:18:40,004 --> 00:18:43,986
I helped my friend Wilma find
a way to get kids sold on mold.
536
00:18:44,048 --> 00:18:45,841
♪ ...going off ♪
537
00:18:45,943 --> 00:18:49,812
♪ Makes salami hard, makes cheese soft ♪
538
00:18:49,914 --> 00:18:52,548
Meanwhile, it was down
to the wire at the big game.
539
00:18:52,617 --> 00:18:54,583
We're running Toby's special play.
540
00:18:54,686 --> 00:18:55,885
You guys know how this goes?
541
00:18:55,953 --> 00:18:58,854
- We got it, Coach.
- "Team" on three.
542
00:18:58,923 --> 00:19:00,690
- One, two, three...
- Team!
543
00:19:00,792 --> 00:19:02,591
They're putting Toby in?
544
00:19:02,694 --> 00:19:05,328
Um... does anyone have
any harlequin balls,
545
00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:07,459
uh, Indian clubs,
anything one can juggle?
546
00:19:07,529 --> 00:19:08,334
Any... Ma'am?
547
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,966
Blue 90! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
548
00:19:11,029 --> 00:19:12,609
Wait, "Rudy"? It's a pity play.
549
00:19:12,697 --> 00:19:15,004
They're gonna throw it to
that little twerp. Get him!
550
00:19:15,073 --> 00:19:19,198
Both Toby and Wilma were
in totally uncharted waters,
551
00:19:19,737 --> 00:19:22,190
but they also realized
if your friends have your back,
552
00:19:22,276 --> 00:19:24,280
you can accomplish
some pretty big things.
553
00:19:24,382 --> 00:19:27,987
♪ So many types of mold going off ♪
554
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,826
Set, hut!
555
00:19:29,887 --> 00:19:31,053
Here, here!
556
00:19:31,155 --> 00:19:32,788
With the defense tricked
into guarding Toby,
557
00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:34,757
Ronnie was free to run it in.
558
00:19:34,759 --> 00:19:37,226
So, even tough Toby didn't
actually score the touchdown
559
00:19:37,328 --> 00:19:38,592
or even touch the ball...
560
00:19:38,686 --> 00:19:39,829
...it was his moment of glory
561
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,129
because his sneaky play won the game.
562
00:19:42,233 --> 00:19:44,133
It worked! Yes!
563
00:19:44,235 --> 00:19:45,735
Yeah!
564
00:19:45,837 --> 00:19:47,514
Toby! Toby!
565
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:49,686
Toby! Toby!
566
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,007
Toby! Toby! Toby!
567
00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:54,842
It was a joyful reminder
for the Rudy in all of us
568
00:19:54,908 --> 00:19:57,030
to never give up on our dreams.
569
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,801
♪ Moldtown Philly's back again ♪
570
00:20:07,543 --> 00:20:10,844
♪ Doin' a little fungal thing ♪
571
00:20:10,947 --> 00:20:14,782
♪ Lots of mold goin' off ♪
572
00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:16,884
♪ Makes salami hard ♪
573
00:20:16,986 --> 00:20:19,436
♪ Makes cheese soft ♪
574
00:20:19,491 --> 00:20:23,694
♪ It's long overdue, but now
the fridge needs cleanin' ♪
575
00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:26,588
♪ Boyz II Men, toss that meat,
spray that bleach ♪
576
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:27,976
♪ Protect your family ♪
577
00:20:28,034 --> 00:20:29,463
♪ Should I keep this beet? ♪
578
00:20:29,523 --> 00:20:30,556
♪ Nah ♪
579
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,170
♪ It's stinkin' up South Street ♪
580
00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:34,506
♪ Jet black mold, fruit got old ♪
581
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,824
♪ And all the Philly steaks
smell like feet ♪
582
00:20:36,918 --> 00:20:41,253
♪ Back in school, we used to
learn about mold every day ♪
583
00:20:41,328 --> 00:20:42,727
♪ Should I keep on scrubbing? ♪
584
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:45,417
♪ Or does mildew fade away? Yeah ♪
585
00:20:45,519 --> 00:20:49,087
♪ So we started brushing
until the grout was smooth ♪
586
00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:51,690
♪ Then we rinsed it off
and here we are ♪
587
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,009
♪ Cleanin' it just for you ♪
588
00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:54,947
♪ Ah ♪
589
00:20:54,978 --> 00:20:56,205
♪ Boyz II Men ♪
590
00:20:56,263 --> 00:20:58,259
♪ B-B-Boyz II Men ♪
591
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:07,773
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com