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Back in the '90s, there
was nothing we all dreaded more
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than parent-teacher conferences.
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My classroom was filled
with distractions,
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so I always kept my expectations low.
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So, Tom's been doing really well,
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and I have seen so much growth
from him this past year.
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As far as a plan moving forward...
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Mr. Scott, you really want
to play the drums, don't you?
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Go ahead.
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Each teacher had their own way
to deal with parents.
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Coach Mellor took a hard line.
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Now I know why Eric
has no core strength.
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It's not him, it's weak genes.
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Hopefully, you guys will be
a little better at running laps.
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Whereas Wilma took the path
of least resistance.
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Karen is a joy to have in class
and making steady progress.
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Jessica is a joy to have in class
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and making steady progress.
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Logan is a joy to have in class
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and making steady progress.
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But it did come at a cost...
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But no one took more pride
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in his parent-teacher
conferences than CB.
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He really went all out.
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Hey, CB. Or should I say, "Aloha."
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You got the theme.
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Does anyone not?
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Oui, oui! Bonjour!
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Ah, John, please feel free
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to help yourself to some coconut shrimp.
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Mmm!
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It's like a regular shrimp
went on a tropical vacation
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in my mouth.
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Plus this ukulele music.
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You're really capturing the spirit
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of the islands there, Johnny.
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Mahalo.
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Oh, and last but not least...
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the "surf's up" backdrop
with fun props for pictures.
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Photo backdrop? That's a little lame.
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Are adults really gonna go for that?
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Whoa! Hang 10, dudes!
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♪ One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here ♪
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♪ Live your life and finally be free ♪
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♪ Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do ♪
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♪ Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ♪
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It was March 25th, 1990-something
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and Glascott had just returned
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from the state's annual
principals' conference.
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- Good morning.
- Oh, hey, John.
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How was the Pennsylvania State Education
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Leadership Conference weekend?
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Ah, the P-SELC.
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It was two wild nights, a wild day,
and one calm morning
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at the beautiful Holiday
Inn Express in Harrisburg.
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Well, I should go prepare
for my first class.
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You're right, it does get crazy.
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- Yeah, I didn't say anything about...
- After checking in,
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we all met at the hotel bar
for Chardonnay,
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made dinner
out of the free hors d'oeuvres,
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and then took a dive
into the indoor swimming pool.
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If you know what I mean.
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Usually, "if you know what I mean"
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is preceded by innuendo
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that could possibly
be taken as interesting.
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I know what you mean.
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- Any school-related stuff come up?
- Absolutely.
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There were several presentations
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on innovative educational techniques...
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self grading, circular classrooms,
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Microsoft Encarta.
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Oh, my favorite... edible gardens.
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- Somebody say "edible gardens"?
- Yes, a school garden
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where the kids can grow
their own healthy foods.
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- I've been waiting for this day.
- Mm-hmm.
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I shall set an example
by growing my own food.
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I'll be the hero
we've all been waiting for.
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And the kids can study
the chemicals in the soil
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and photosynthesis.
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Oh, and I have a great idea
for a scarecrow.
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He's a veteran big city cop
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who's grown "too old for this [bleep]"
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so he moves to the country
for a quieter life.
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All right, so, we all want the
garden for different reasons.
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Hey, Mr. Brown.
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Hey, Weasel.
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I was wondering, um,
when my dad comes in tonight,
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can you maybe skip the whole
"really bad grades" part
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and focus on the "gets to class
on time" part?
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- But you're always late.
- Yeah, could you skip that part, too?
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Weasel, telling your dad
about your progress
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is kind of the whole point of
the parent-teacher conference.
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But he's so psyched
about me going to college,
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and, let's be real,
he's gonna be super bummed
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when he realizes I'm not smart enough.
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Don't say that. You're smart.
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You really think so?
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College is in the cards
for you. All right?
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And I'm gonna help you through
the application process.
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I got your back, buddy.
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- Thanks, Mr. Brown.
- Happy to help.
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All right.
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I'm gonna peel off here
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because these pineapples
are poking me in the nips.
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That's cool.
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Later that night,
parent-teacher conferences
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were in full swing,
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which meant CB was in his element.
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Nice to meet you.
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Oh, aloha!
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Mr. Brown.
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We haven't met before.
I'm Weasel's dad, Greg.
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Nice to meet you. You can call me CB.
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Come on in, take a seat.
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So, I saw he got
that 68 on the last midterm.
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Yeah, he normally does better than that.
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Well, that could be on me.
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The night before the test,
I surprised him
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with two tickets to Penn & Teller,
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and, uh, we were out pretty late.
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Wait, Penn & Teller?
The masters of sarcastic magic?
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00:04:05,174 --> 00:04:06,974
Oh, man, the Ticketmaster guy
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told me that those shows were sold out
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and no amount of my tears
would change it.
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Well, I'm the event coordinator
at the Spectrum,
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so I wind up getting all sorts
of tickets... Ice Capades,
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monster truck rallies, X Games...
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- The X Games happening right now?
- Yeah.
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Have you seen
BMX Street god Garrett Reynolds?
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If you've seen BMX Street god
Garrett Reynolds,
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I will literally kill you.
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Whoa. Beep, beep!
Super fan coming through.
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- Honk!
- Would you like me to get you some tickets?
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Kssh! "Uh, Earth to Greg.
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Uh, CB would love to get those tickets.
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It's his dream." Kssh!
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Kssh! "Greg here.
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Tickets are locked
and ready for takeoff."
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Kssh!
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We play so well together.
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Listen... about that 68.
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Gosh, I wish there was a way
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we could move him out of "D"
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into... into C-ville, you know?
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Weasel's a good kid,
and I suppose I can give him
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a little extra credit work,
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hopefully get him
on that train to C-ville.
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I knew you were a cool guy.
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I am. I'm a cool guy.
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As CB met the friend of his dreams,
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Mellor and Wilma were on cloud
nine in their new garden.
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What in the H-E-double canoe
paddles is going on here?!
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I think you mean what's
growing on here, Mr. Ball,
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because this is our new
edible, raised garden!
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It's an amazing, hands-on
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educational experience for the students.
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It's also smack dab in
the middle of my parking spot!
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You see that sign?
It's perfectly clear...
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"reserved for board members."
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Come on, Earl. Nobody parks
in these spots anymore.
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I know that 'cause a squirrel
died here three years ago
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and the skeleton
just blew away last week.
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Couldn't you just maybe park
in the visitor's lot?
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Visitor's lot?!
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Are you really suggesting
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that the former principal
of this school for two decades
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is a visitor?
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Oh, hi, Earl. Are you here to
get the "411" on the convention?
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Because things got crazy.
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They had a sign that said "No Diving."
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This guy dove.
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How could you let them put
a garden in my parking spot?
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Now, these two suggest
I just take a visitor's spot.
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Visitor's spot!
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Homie don't play that.
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Well, a garden is a wonderful
learning tool, Earl.
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That type of radical decision
requires authorization.
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Well, I thought it was such
a slam dunk, I just moved ahead.
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And Wilma and I agreed.
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Oh, you and Wilma agreed?
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Gosh, why didn't you
tell me that to begin with?
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Well, that changes nothing!
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Now, as your superior...
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and the reason why
you have this job at all...
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I expect you to take care
of this tout de suite.
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Of course. I'll, uh...
I'll have the garden removed.
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- Oh, hell no.
- Come on, John.
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He's right. I should've
followed the proper channels.
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I'll go move my car,
and you can take my space today.
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What the hell just happened?
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John's always like that
when it comes to Ball.
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He never pushes back.
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Well, you know who pushes back?
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- I'm guessing you?
- Me.
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I guessed right.
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Go left, Johnny. Go left.
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Yo, yo, yo!
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Guess who went
to the X Games last night?
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I hope it was you, otherwise your
outfit's ridiculous for no reason.
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It was me.
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Oh, and also, look at my swag bag.
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Cool. What'd we get?
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I got these gnarly shades.
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Pretty rad, I think, huh?
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00:06:53,142 --> 00:06:55,042
Both gnarly and rad?
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00:06:55,144 --> 00:06:58,045
Oh, man. I gotta process this.
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Oh, also, check out this extreme...
mouse pad. Huh?
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00:07:02,418 --> 00:07:04,385
It's an extreme koozie. Yeah?
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00:07:04,487 --> 00:07:05,786
Can I get a what-what?
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00:07:05,888 --> 00:07:07,955
Sure, what-what makes
these things extreme?
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00:07:08,057 --> 00:07:10,157
'Cause I got them at the X Games
and they were extremely free.
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00:07:10,259 --> 00:07:11,825
How are you getting free stuff
at the X Games?
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00:07:11,927 --> 00:07:14,161
Weasel's dad Greg took me.
He's got connections.
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00:07:14,263 --> 00:07:16,196
Ohh, Weasel's dad.
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00:07:16,265 --> 00:07:18,198
- I think the guy's a little shady.
- What? Why?
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00:07:18,301 --> 00:07:19,633
First of all, my friend Carla said so.
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00:07:19,735 --> 00:07:20,701
Greg's her step-dad.
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Duh. That's why she doesn't like him.
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00:07:22,338 --> 00:07:23,837
Nobody likes step-dads.
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They've got secrets and mysterious pasts
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and second families.
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00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:29,276
You watch a lot of
Lifetime movies, don't you?
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I do, yeah.
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But I've met Greg,
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00:07:31,647 --> 00:07:33,647
and he's the slick,
connected, player type,
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00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:36,083
so I'm just not really sure why...
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00:07:36,185 --> 00:07:37,618
Why he'd wanna hang around with me?
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00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,919
Is that what you're...
Is that what you're saying?
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No, it is not. I... Um...
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You know, you guys
are always trying to push me
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to do things outside of school,
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00:07:43,926 --> 00:07:45,626
and then when I finally do it,
you want to stop me?
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I'm just trying to help you out
because I'm your friend.
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I don't need to be looked out for, okay?
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Because the only vibe
that I get from Greg
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is that he's gnarly and rad.
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Kind of like my extreme shades.
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00:07:55,104 --> 00:07:56,403
But that's okay because I got
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00:07:56,505 --> 00:07:58,972
this extreme eyeglass repair kit.
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I-I-I can fix the lid with one of these.
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It had been a day since Glascott
had given in to Ball's demands.
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And it was really taking a toll on him.
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- You okay?
- Visitor parking is full.
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00:08:14,932 --> 00:08:16,768
I had to park over at Willow Grove Mall.
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00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:17,855
That's like two miles away.
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00:08:17,917 --> 00:08:19,250
Yeah, no Tae Bo for me tonight.
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00:08:19,352 --> 00:08:20,718
You should've stood up to Ball, John.
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00:08:20,787 --> 00:08:22,453
He was right. I need to follow
proper protocol.
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00:08:22,555 --> 00:08:23,921
Protocol shmotocol!
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00:08:24,023 --> 00:08:25,122
By taking the first word
251
00:08:25,225 --> 00:08:27,225
and rhyming it
with a nonsensical second word,
252
00:08:27,293 --> 00:08:29,627
I have conveyed
my dismissive opinion of it.
253
00:08:29,696 --> 00:08:31,429
We had to get rid of the garden
for right now,
254
00:08:31,497 --> 00:08:33,297
but maybe after we go through
the proper channels,
255
00:08:33,399 --> 00:08:34,398
we can get it back again.
256
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:35,833
Now, if you'll excuse me,
257
00:08:35,902 --> 00:08:38,202
I need to go pre-arrange
transportation back to my car
258
00:08:38,304 --> 00:08:39,637
for after work.
259
00:08:41,307 --> 00:08:43,474
Nice try, but Ball has got
a strange hold on him.
260
00:08:43,543 --> 00:08:44,909
Well, then we'll have to do something.
261
00:08:44,978 --> 00:08:46,444
- Kill Ball?
- No!
262
00:08:46,512 --> 00:08:48,079
Look, if we go get all the other members
263
00:08:48,181 --> 00:08:49,347
to agree to the garden,
264
00:08:49,415 --> 00:08:50,648
Ball's outvoted.
265
00:08:50,717 --> 00:08:51,882
Right. We should do that first.
266
00:08:51,951 --> 00:08:53,884
- John will love that we did that.
- Mm-hmm.
267
00:08:53,987 --> 00:08:56,354
You went to the Board?!
Why would you do that?!
268
00:08:56,422 --> 00:08:58,689
- That's an odd way to display love.
- But it worked!
269
00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:00,825
The Board gave up their
parking spaces for the garden.
270
00:09:00,893 --> 00:09:03,394
And Ball can't fight the rest
of the board, so problem solved.
271
00:09:03,463 --> 00:09:04,726
- Yay.
- "Problem solved"?
272
00:09:04,788 --> 00:09:05,906
Why is this happening?
273
00:09:05,932 --> 00:09:09,734
Okay, long story short,
this is now my office.
274
00:09:09,852 --> 00:09:11,719
Well, actually, that's the entire story.
275
00:09:11,788 --> 00:09:13,854
It's neither long
nor has it been shortened.
276
00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:15,122
Why are you doing this, Earl?
277
00:09:15,224 --> 00:09:16,957
'Cause I directed you
to remove the garden,
278
00:09:17,026 --> 00:09:18,259
and then Mork and Mindy here,
279
00:09:18,328 --> 00:09:20,361
they went around behind
your back and over my head.
280
00:09:20,430 --> 00:09:22,229
You lost control of the faculty, John.
281
00:09:22,332 --> 00:09:24,365
So I'm stepping in,
I'm taking hold of the rudder
282
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:25,666
until the ship is righted.
283
00:09:25,735 --> 00:09:27,622
This is not the outcome we foresaw.
284
00:09:27,647 --> 00:09:28,713
Shazbot.
285
00:09:28,738 --> 00:09:30,538
Mellor and Wilma's plan had backfired,
286
00:09:30,606 --> 00:09:33,240
but CB was moving forward with
his agreement to help Weasel.
287
00:09:33,309 --> 00:09:35,076
All right, Weasel, let's take
this college essay
288
00:09:35,178 --> 00:09:36,510
by the horns, all right?
289
00:09:36,579 --> 00:09:38,713
We just got to find something
that you can write five pages on.
290
00:09:38,815 --> 00:09:39,847
Five pages?
291
00:09:39,916 --> 00:09:41,882
Dude, that's, like, a gazillion words.
292
00:09:41,984 --> 00:09:44,085
- Actually, it's about 1,200.
- That's still a lot.
293
00:09:44,153 --> 00:09:46,387
It's okay. We're gonna take it
one step at a time here.
294
00:09:46,489 --> 00:09:49,290
So, we just got to find
a topic that you connect with.
295
00:09:49,392 --> 00:09:51,759
All right? So, let's see. Um...
296
00:09:51,861 --> 00:09:54,762
How about "Biggest Obstacle
You've Ever Encountered?"
297
00:09:54,831 --> 00:09:56,063
That's easy. This essay.
298
00:09:56,132 --> 00:09:57,231
We're not gonna do that.
299
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,633
How about "Most Exciting Place
You've Ever Visited"?
300
00:09:59,702 --> 00:10:01,702
Geno's Cheesesteaks. No, wait.
301
00:10:01,804 --> 00:10:03,704
Pat's Cheesesteaks. No, wait.
302
00:10:03,773 --> 00:10:07,875
Geno's has the cheesesteaks,
but Pat's has the fries.
303
00:10:07,977 --> 00:10:09,343
- Gah!
- Moving on.
304
00:10:09,445 --> 00:10:12,913
How about "Who Do You
Admire Most And Why?"
305
00:10:13,015 --> 00:10:15,282
I feel like you could
connect to this one really well.
306
00:10:15,351 --> 00:10:17,385
'Cause if I'm writing it,
it's about your dad.
307
00:10:17,487 --> 00:10:19,820
- Yeah, maybe.
- Maybe?
308
00:10:19,889 --> 00:10:22,723
I mean, he is smart, he's funny,
he's got a great job,
309
00:10:22,825 --> 00:10:24,725
he knows famous people,
he's got great hair.
310
00:10:24,794 --> 00:10:25,926
He's pretty awesome.
311
00:10:26,028 --> 00:10:28,295
If we're talking awesome dudes
with great hair,
312
00:10:28,364 --> 00:10:30,364
that's my best bud Ronnie all the way.
313
00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:31,399
Uh, CB?
314
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:32,767
It seems Weasel's father
315
00:10:32,869 --> 00:10:34,034
is calling my phone for you.
316
00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:35,336
Oh, yeah, I gave him your number
317
00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:37,037
so he could reach me at any time.
318
00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:38,939
Greg-ster, what's up, man?
319
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:41,041
Hey, is it okay
if I give Ronnie your number?
320
00:10:41,144 --> 00:10:42,309
- No.
- That's okay.
321
00:10:42,412 --> 00:10:43,811
He's usually right next to me.
322
00:10:43,913 --> 00:10:44,779
You will not believe this.
323
00:10:44,881 --> 00:10:45,946
Greg just invited me
324
00:10:46,048 --> 00:10:48,282
to go see David Copperfield
with him tonight.
325
00:10:48,351 --> 00:10:50,651
Hey, my dad took me to that show
a couple nights ago.
326
00:10:50,753 --> 00:10:53,954
He cuts a woman in half and then...
327
00:10:54,056 --> 00:10:55,656
Well, I don't want to spoil it.
328
00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:56,757
He puts her back together?
329
00:10:56,826 --> 00:10:58,426
Oh, cool. You've seen it, too.
330
00:10:58,494 --> 00:11:00,728
Not only am I going to
go see David Copperfield,
331
00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:02,830
but I am meeting him before the show.
332
00:11:02,932 --> 00:11:04,498
And the Shiffmeister's gonna be there.
333
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,267
"The West Wing's" Richard Schiff?
334
00:11:06,369 --> 00:11:08,102
- No, Claudia Schiffer.
- That makes more sense.
335
00:11:08,171 --> 00:11:10,404
Anyway, I got to skate on
out of here, so...
336
00:11:10,506 --> 00:11:12,473
So, we're done working
on my college essay?
337
00:11:12,542 --> 00:11:13,641
Weasel, one second on that.
338
00:11:13,709 --> 00:11:15,576
Um, CB, can we have a quick chat
in the hallway?
339
00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:16,710
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
340
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:19,313
What are you doing?
341
00:11:19,415 --> 00:11:21,148
You're just gonna
leave Weasel high and dry?
342
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:22,483
Shoot.
343
00:11:22,552 --> 00:11:24,819
Could you step in for me and
help him with his college essay?
344
00:11:24,887 --> 00:11:27,321
You teach reading and writing.
I am the music teacher.
345
00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:29,056
Well, the key word here
is "teacher," so...
346
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:30,291
- You got this.
- No.
347
00:11:30,393 --> 00:11:32,726
I can't believe you're ditching
Weasel for Greg.
348
00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:34,328
Or are you just upset
because he actually
349
00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:36,063
- likes hanging out with me?
- No.
350
00:11:36,132 --> 00:11:37,798
I'm upset because
you're acting more like Greg
351
00:11:37,867 --> 00:11:39,366
- than you are yourself.
- How do you figure?
352
00:11:39,435 --> 00:11:41,535
Well, Greg took Weasel out when
he should have been studying,
353
00:11:41,637 --> 00:11:42,937
and now you're going out with Greg
354
00:11:43,005 --> 00:11:44,605
when you should be helping Weasel study.
355
00:11:44,674 --> 00:11:46,807
No, see, I'm still helping.
356
00:11:46,909 --> 00:11:48,042
Weasel's writing about the person
357
00:11:48,144 --> 00:11:49,944
that he admires most, which is Greg.
358
00:11:50,012 --> 00:11:52,246
So by hanging out with him,
I'll then gain information
359
00:11:52,315 --> 00:11:53,514
about how admirable he is,
360
00:11:53,616 --> 00:11:55,082
which I can then go and tell Weasel.
361
00:11:55,151 --> 00:11:56,317
Whatever you wanna tell yourself.
362
00:11:56,419 --> 00:11:57,651
Thank you!
363
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,520
CB wasn't changing his outlook.
364
00:11:59,622 --> 00:12:00,955
But as for the principal's office,
365
00:12:01,023 --> 00:12:03,123
it had undergone some minor
changes of its own.
366
00:12:03,226 --> 00:12:04,425
Can I help you, young man?
367
00:12:04,527 --> 00:12:05,726
I need to see the principal.
368
00:12:05,828 --> 00:12:07,528
And you've come to the right place.
369
00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:09,363
How come you're out here
and not in your office?
370
00:12:09,465 --> 00:12:11,932
I felt I was too removed from
the students and the faculty,
371
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:14,702
so I decided to climb down
from my ivory tower
372
00:12:14,804 --> 00:12:16,837
and, uh, become
a man of the people again.
373
00:12:16,906 --> 00:12:19,039
Also, Ball kicked him out of his office.
374
00:12:19,141 --> 00:12:20,541
- He's in there now.
- Yes.
375
00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:23,210
That and a little bit
of the ivory tower thing, too.
376
00:12:23,312 --> 00:12:24,345
But I'm still your principal.
377
00:12:24,413 --> 00:12:25,679
Is Martha the principal, too?
378
00:12:25,781 --> 00:12:27,014
- Yes!
- No, you're not.
379
00:12:27,116 --> 00:12:28,582
Oh, I was unsure.
380
00:12:28,651 --> 00:12:30,618
There's been a lot of changes recently.
381
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,954
Martha, I need to dictate a memo.
382
00:12:34,056 --> 00:12:34,955
Go nuts.
383
00:12:35,057 --> 00:12:37,157
Yes, I authorize that, Martha.
384
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:40,694
The following policy changes
go into effect immediately.
385
00:12:40,763 --> 00:12:42,863
First, this school will no longer have
386
00:12:42,932 --> 00:12:44,532
a student suggestion box.
387
00:12:44,634 --> 00:12:46,166
But that was my suggestion.
388
00:12:46,235 --> 00:12:48,769
And that box is a great way
for the students to feel
389
00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:51,238
as though they have a say
in their own education.
390
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:53,173
Yeah, it's a gone-zo.
391
00:12:53,242 --> 00:12:55,242
Next, we will no longer be holding
392
00:12:55,311 --> 00:12:57,077
ice cream social Fridays.
393
00:12:57,146 --> 00:12:59,179
- Which day will it be on?
- Never day.
394
00:12:59,282 --> 00:13:01,282
That's not a real day, and you know it.
395
00:13:01,384 --> 00:13:03,250
And also that's my idea.
396
00:13:03,319 --> 00:13:04,985
Next, I was thinking of doing away
397
00:13:05,087 --> 00:13:08,188
with Glascott's "Good Guys
and Great Gals" picture wall.
398
00:13:08,257 --> 00:13:11,592
All right, I'm beginning to think
that this is personal, Earl.
399
00:13:11,694 --> 00:13:13,627
You're clearly trying to undo
everything that I've done
400
00:13:13,729 --> 00:13:15,396
since I've become principal,
401
00:13:15,498 --> 00:13:16,931
starting with the garden.
402
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,165
Yes. That reminds me.
403
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:20,968
Martha, did you get the forklift
to remove the garden
404
00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:22,403
and put it in John's driveway?
405
00:13:22,505 --> 00:13:23,804
Okay, Earl,
I understand that you're upset
406
00:13:23,906 --> 00:13:25,205
about your parking spaces,
407
00:13:25,308 --> 00:13:27,241
but this is too much.
408
00:13:31,647 --> 00:13:32,680
John, what's going on?
409
00:13:32,782 --> 00:13:34,481
Ball finally pushed me too far.
410
00:13:34,506 --> 00:13:35,593
And now you're pushing back.
411
00:13:35,618 --> 00:13:36,717
Yes, I am.
412
00:13:36,786 --> 00:13:39,320
- Ooh, I love it when this happens.
- Me too.
413
00:13:39,422 --> 00:13:41,789
As Glascott was more
fired up than ever before,
414
00:13:41,891 --> 00:13:44,425
CB was pumped to hang out
with his cool new friend.
415
00:13:44,527 --> 00:13:45,659
This is the best.
416
00:13:45,728 --> 00:13:47,394
I can't believe I'm meeting
David Copperfield tonight
417
00:13:47,496 --> 00:13:49,430
and David Copperfield's
supermodel girlfriend.
418
00:13:49,532 --> 00:13:50,664
What should I say, by the way?
419
00:13:50,733 --> 00:13:53,467
CB, relax. David and Claudia
are normal people.
420
00:13:53,536 --> 00:13:55,069
They put on
their skin-tight leather pants
421
00:13:55,171 --> 00:13:56,971
one leg at a time, just like you and me.
422
00:13:57,073 --> 00:13:58,606
- Phew! That's good to hear.
- You'll be fine.
423
00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:00,407
I mean, it's not like
you're some nerdy fanboy
424
00:14:00,476 --> 00:14:02,476
who's gonna do some lame
magic trick in front of him.
425
00:14:04,347 --> 00:14:05,479
Of course not!
426
00:14:05,548 --> 00:14:08,115
That would be so ridiculous,
wouldn't it?
427
00:14:08,217 --> 00:14:11,218
Greg, G, I just wanted to say
thank you for all this.
428
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:15,122
Between tonight and the X Games,
I just... I really owe you one.
429
00:14:15,224 --> 00:14:16,724
That's what friends are for, right?
430
00:14:16,792 --> 00:14:18,626
- Absolutely.
- I mean, it's a two-way street.
431
00:14:18,694 --> 00:14:20,561
- You'll find a way to pay me back.
- Yeah, of course.
432
00:14:20,663 --> 00:14:22,296
I mean, I don't know
what I could possibly offer you
433
00:14:22,398 --> 00:14:23,897
that's gonna compete
with all this, but...
434
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,400
Actually, I just thought of something.
435
00:14:26,502 --> 00:14:28,636
Maybe you could do me
another solid with Weasel.
436
00:14:28,738 --> 00:14:30,270
Oh, yeah, absolutely. You name it.
437
00:14:30,339 --> 00:14:31,338
I appreciate you helping him
438
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:32,940
with his college essay and everything.
439
00:14:33,009 --> 00:14:35,209
It's just that he might need
more than a little nudge.
440
00:14:35,311 --> 00:14:37,344
So, you're asking me to... what?
441
00:14:37,413 --> 00:14:40,514
I mean, maybe you could...
write it for him.
442
00:14:40,616 --> 00:14:42,683
No, that... that's plagiarism.
443
00:14:42,785 --> 00:14:44,451
That's the biggest crime
an English teacher
444
00:14:44,553 --> 00:14:45,786
could possibly commit.
445
00:14:45,888 --> 00:14:47,655
Full disclosure, I took that sentence
446
00:14:47,757 --> 00:14:49,156
from my college English professor.
447
00:14:49,258 --> 00:14:50,357
Those are not my words.
448
00:14:50,459 --> 00:14:51,458
Okay, how about this?
449
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,993
What if he held the pencil and wrote
450
00:14:53,095 --> 00:14:54,895
while you dictated the words?
451
00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:58,132
That way, he'd be writing it himself.
452
00:14:58,234 --> 00:14:59,566
Then we'd be square for everything.
453
00:14:59,669 --> 00:15:01,602
Greg, have you been
inviting me to hang out with you
454
00:15:01,704 --> 00:15:03,671
because you want me
to cheat for your son?
455
00:15:03,773 --> 00:15:07,107
Cheating, helping...
it's the way of the world.
456
00:15:08,444 --> 00:15:09,510
Well, I thought it was a different deal,
457
00:15:09,612 --> 00:15:11,211
where we were friends,
but I-I guess not.
458
00:15:11,313 --> 00:15:13,747
All right. I feel really stupid.
459
00:15:13,849 --> 00:15:16,250
Say hi to David for me, okay?
460
00:16:45,688 --> 00:16:48,179
Glascott had finally taken
a stand against Ball,
461
00:16:48,211 --> 00:16:50,039
and he was going to do
the same for the garden.
462
00:16:50,081 --> 00:16:51,218
I'm proud of you, John.
463
00:16:51,249 --> 00:16:53,008
It's good to see
the big dog still has bite.
464
00:16:53,118 --> 00:16:54,884
And I'm proud of you
for fighting for our garden.
465
00:16:54,953 --> 00:16:56,452
Although you could have chained yourself
466
00:16:56,554 --> 00:16:57,653
to something more sturdy.
467
00:16:57,756 --> 00:16:59,522
You think I shoulda went
with the bean trellis?
468
00:16:59,591 --> 00:17:00,690
Seems like a lateral move.
469
00:17:04,496 --> 00:17:05,995
What the hell?
470
00:17:06,064 --> 00:17:08,498
Hey, I got orders to forklift
that garden out of here.
471
00:17:08,566 --> 00:17:10,433
I've been good to you
all these years, Johnny.
472
00:17:10,502 --> 00:17:12,168
How can you take Earl Ball's side?
473
00:17:12,237 --> 00:17:14,837
I'm just a workin' man trying
to stay employed to pay my rent.
474
00:17:14,873 --> 00:17:17,874
If I'm a day late, my mom will
put my ass out on the streets.
475
00:17:17,976 --> 00:17:19,442
She's tough, but fair.
476
00:17:19,544 --> 00:17:20,843
Uh-oh. Ball's coming in hot.
477
00:17:20,912 --> 00:17:23,946
John! What's going on here?
478
00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,715
- Please stop this.
- I can't.
479
00:17:25,784 --> 00:17:26,883
I dropped the key in the dirt,
480
00:17:26,951 --> 00:17:28,618
and then I was trying to find the key,
481
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,153
and I kicked more dirt around,
482
00:17:30,221 --> 00:17:31,754
so I can't find the key.
483
00:17:31,856 --> 00:17:32,755
This is insane.
484
00:17:32,824 --> 00:17:34,290
Now, get out of here
485
00:17:34,392 --> 00:17:36,292
so Johnny can haul this out of here.
486
00:17:37,562 --> 00:17:39,729
I'm principal here, Earl, not you.
487
00:17:39,798 --> 00:17:41,464
And who got you that job, John?
488
00:17:41,566 --> 00:17:42,632
- You did.
- That's right.
489
00:17:42,734 --> 00:17:43,733
But that was years ago,
490
00:17:43,802 --> 00:17:45,234
and you won't let me forget it.
491
00:17:45,303 --> 00:17:48,304
And all this time, I felt like
I owed you for this job.
492
00:17:48,406 --> 00:17:49,872
But you know what, Earl?
493
00:17:49,974 --> 00:17:51,073
I earned this job.
494
00:17:51,142 --> 00:17:52,675
- Bring it, John.
- Tell him, John!
495
00:17:52,744 --> 00:17:55,478
And the only people a principal
owes anything to
496
00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:58,514
are my staff and my students.
497
00:18:03,655 --> 00:18:05,354
They tell you that at the conference?
498
00:18:05,423 --> 00:18:06,622
No, Earl.
499
00:18:06,724 --> 00:18:09,592
You told me that
when you gave me this job.
500
00:18:14,966 --> 00:18:16,466
Johnny, we're done here.
501
00:18:22,774 --> 00:18:24,106
You did it, John.
502
00:18:24,175 --> 00:18:25,708
That's great. Thank you, everyone.
503
00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:29,212
Now, everyone grab a hoe
and help me find the key.
504
00:18:33,852 --> 00:18:35,318
So, how was the night with Greg?
505
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:36,819
Hope it was worth it.
506
00:18:36,921 --> 00:18:39,388
Um... it wasn't, because you were right.
507
00:18:39,491 --> 00:18:40,823
Uh, Greg was using me.
508
00:18:40,892 --> 00:18:43,092
He asked me to write
Weasel's college essay for him.
509
00:18:43,161 --> 00:18:45,495
- I'm sorry.
- Eh, I guess I'm just a gullible idiot
510
00:18:45,563 --> 00:18:48,297
for thinking a guy like him
would wanna hang around with me.
511
00:18:48,366 --> 00:18:50,032
You are a way better guy than Greg.
512
00:18:50,101 --> 00:18:51,801
It's his loss he doesn't
get to hang around with you.
513
00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:52,969
Then how come last night, he partied
514
00:18:53,071 --> 00:18:55,037
with David Copperfield
and Claudia Schiffer
515
00:18:55,106 --> 00:18:56,138
and I just went straight home
and watched
516
00:18:56,241 --> 00:18:58,274
a "Boy Meets World" marathon on cable?
517
00:18:58,343 --> 00:19:00,076
Because he's a user and a d-bag
518
00:19:00,178 --> 00:19:01,410
and you're a sweet, trusting guy
519
00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:02,845
who always sees the best in people.
520
00:19:02,947 --> 00:19:04,714
Honestly, it's, like,
my favorite thing about you.
521
00:19:04,816 --> 00:19:06,582
Thank you. That's very sweet.
522
00:19:06,684 --> 00:19:08,184
I just can't believe I let Weasel down
523
00:19:08,253 --> 00:19:09,652
just to hang with a guy
I thought was cool
524
00:19:09,721 --> 00:19:10,953
at a cool event.
525
00:19:11,022 --> 00:19:13,789
First... not that cool
of an event. At all.
526
00:19:13,892 --> 00:19:14,824
Yeah, but I heard he made the crack
527
00:19:14,926 --> 00:19:16,092
in the Liberty Bell disappear.
528
00:19:16,194 --> 00:19:17,126
Yeah, when it's under the blanket,
529
00:19:17,228 --> 00:19:18,294
he spins it around to the other side.
530
00:19:18,396 --> 00:19:19,729
- Big whoop.
- No.
531
00:19:19,831 --> 00:19:21,497
N...
532
00:19:21,599 --> 00:19:23,432
Oh. Yeah.
533
00:19:23,535 --> 00:19:24,867
But the showmanship, though.
534
00:19:24,936 --> 00:19:26,936
And second,
you still have plenty of time
535
00:19:27,038 --> 00:19:28,137
to make things right with Weasel.
536
00:19:28,239 --> 00:19:29,405
Thanks, Lain.
537
00:19:29,507 --> 00:19:31,140
Now go work your magic.
538
00:19:31,209 --> 00:19:32,575
Okay.
539
00:19:35,313 --> 00:19:37,580
John, you were right.
540
00:19:37,649 --> 00:19:40,383
I was trying to undo
all of your hard work.
541
00:19:40,451 --> 00:19:41,784
Why would you do that, Earl?
542
00:19:41,853 --> 00:19:43,819
I think lately, I've been feeling
543
00:19:43,888 --> 00:19:46,455
more and more like
a ceremonial figurehead.
544
00:19:46,558 --> 00:19:49,825
Regal in stature,
but still ultimately symbolic.
545
00:19:49,894 --> 00:19:51,327
Not unlike the Queen of England.
546
00:19:51,396 --> 00:19:54,030
But people love the Queen.
And her namesake band.
547
00:19:54,132 --> 00:19:56,666
Well, it's just I miss
being a principal so much
548
00:19:56,768 --> 00:19:59,835
and... and making a difference
in the way you do every day
549
00:19:59,904 --> 00:20:01,337
since you've been principal.
550
00:20:01,439 --> 00:20:04,707
And... I guess that parking spot?
551
00:20:04,776 --> 00:20:07,944
Parking spot was my last real
connection to this school.
552
00:20:08,046 --> 00:20:10,980
And when you guys
put a garden on it, it just...
553
00:20:11,082 --> 00:20:13,249
Hey, Earl, without you,
554
00:20:13,318 --> 00:20:15,618
the school wouldn't be what it is today.
555
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:16,852
You planted the seeds.
556
00:20:16,955 --> 00:20:19,555
I'm just here tending the garden.
557
00:20:19,657 --> 00:20:20,756
Thank you very much, John.
558
00:20:20,825 --> 00:20:21,757
Yeah.
559
00:20:21,859 --> 00:20:24,093
So, will you name the garden after me?
560
00:20:24,195 --> 00:20:25,428
Sure.
561
00:20:25,496 --> 00:20:26,629
And if you're not too busy,
562
00:20:26,731 --> 00:20:28,097
you wanna stick around
and get some coffee?
563
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,498
I'd love to give you the 4-1-1
564
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:31,867
on what went down
at the principals' conference.
565
00:20:31,970 --> 00:20:33,336
I would love that. Thank you.
566
00:20:33,438 --> 00:20:34,337
Well, first off, they still give you
567
00:20:34,405 --> 00:20:35,538
the extra mint under your pillow,
568
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,340
but you got to call ahead
and ask for it,
569
00:20:37,408 --> 00:20:38,608
if you know what I mean.
570
00:20:38,710 --> 00:20:39,675
Oh, my.
571
00:20:39,777 --> 00:20:41,010
Sometimes in life,
572
00:20:41,112 --> 00:20:43,045
you have to take a stand
for what you believe in,
573
00:20:43,147 --> 00:20:46,148
even if it means standing up
to one of your closest friends.
574
00:20:50,054 --> 00:20:51,854
'Cause even though
it can be intimidating,
575
00:20:51,923 --> 00:20:54,991
when you persevere, there's no
greater feeling in the world.
576
00:20:57,829 --> 00:21:00,096
Because you know in your heart
it's the right thing to do.
577
00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:04,300
So don't be scared.
578
00:21:04,402 --> 00:21:06,002
Because the truth is,
579
00:21:06,104 --> 00:21:09,205
new and exciting things
will grow out of the situation
580
00:21:09,307 --> 00:21:11,607
or maybe even blossom bigger than ever.
581
00:21:16,414 --> 00:21:17,437
Weasel.
582
00:21:17,515 --> 00:21:19,181
How'd the essay go about your dad?
583
00:21:19,283 --> 00:21:21,083
I think you should just read it.
584
00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:24,394
Oh, my gosh.
585
00:21:26,714 --> 00:21:27,894
You wrote this about me?
586
00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:30,792
What can I say?
You're a huge inspiration to me.
587
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,774
In the end, you'll realize
that it was all worth it.
588
00:21:39,514 --> 00:21:41,888
Okay, so we all agree
that Greg turned out to be...
589
00:21:41,944 --> 00:21:44,580
- A huge douche, yeah.
- Yes, el douche grande.
590
00:21:44,627 --> 00:21:47,971
That aside, he did have
some very cool accoutrement
591
00:21:48,018 --> 00:21:49,385
that I feel like I can pull off.
592
00:21:49,487 --> 00:21:51,033
Oh, like the bitchin' outfit
you're wearing right now?
593
00:21:51,127 --> 00:21:53,213
- Like this hat.
- Does that come with a paper route?
594
00:21:53,299 --> 00:21:55,322
- Gold hoop earring.
- He only gave you one?
595
00:21:55,401 --> 00:21:56,834
Bam. Fanny pack.
596
00:21:56,936 --> 00:21:59,070
German virgin who's on a trip
with his family.
597
00:21:59,172 --> 00:22:01,138
- What about this pager?
- Cool!
598
00:22:01,163 --> 00:22:02,283
Five years ago.
599
00:22:02,308 --> 00:22:04,375
Also, super-stylin' Mandarin collar.
600
00:22:04,477 --> 00:22:06,177
- I hate that on you.
- All right.
601
00:22:06,279 --> 00:22:07,411
Attention, all!
602
00:22:07,513 --> 00:22:09,647
The harvest from my section
of the garden has arrived.
603
00:22:09,749 --> 00:22:11,649
I give you nature's bounty!
604
00:22:11,751 --> 00:22:14,051
Oh, my gosh. I didn't know
we planted baby corn.
605
00:22:14,153 --> 00:22:15,953
No, that's just corn.
606
00:22:16,055 --> 00:22:18,522
I don't get it. I thought
I saw some great vegetables.
607
00:22:18,624 --> 00:22:20,958
Unfortunately,
the bus parks next to my box,
608
00:22:21,060 --> 00:22:22,760
blocking any direct sunlight.
609
00:22:22,862 --> 00:22:24,562
Oh! Cute little blueberries?
610
00:22:24,664 --> 00:22:26,697
I didn't know you were planting these.
611
00:22:26,743 --> 00:22:27,676
That's hard gum.
612
00:22:27,785 --> 00:22:32,785
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com