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My first year at William Penn,
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I thought I'd really
connected with the students.
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But then, over the summer,
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Barry and I saw "Dangerous Minds,"
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starring Michelle Pfeiffer.
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There are no victims in this classroom!
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Seeing that movie made me
realize I could go deeper,
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really get involved with
these kids, which they need,
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because they are dealing
with a lot of scary stuff.
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For my second year back,
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I was determined to get
all up in their business
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by going full Pfeiffer.
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_
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Good. I got your attention.
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Sextuplets. Six notes per measure.
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Oh, yeah, we're goin' there.
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Oh, come on.
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Welcome to Guitar 2. Any questions?
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Yeah, why are you dressed
like Olivia Newton-John
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at the end of "Grease"?
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I'm not.
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I'm dressed like your worst nightmare...
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a teacher who cares.
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The curriculum says the
first song we're learning
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is "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
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That's not real-life stuff.
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How many of you have
ever even rowed a boat?
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But was it gently down a stream?
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Exactly.
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I want to teach music that speaks to me,
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like Fiona Apple.
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What song speaks to you, Bobby Maloney?
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Is "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
definitely off the table?
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What about you, Aaron Rubin?
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"Who Let the Dogs Out"?
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Ow!
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Why would you throw that?!
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As your prize for a great answer.
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Next time, you should try
throwing it to somebody
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with better hand-eye coordination.
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Like my blind grandma.
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Sure, Ronnie. Laugh through the pain.
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But having a blind grandma sounds heavy.
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If you ever want to rap about it...
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Yeah, I'd like that.
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It's been hard 'cause she
has to touch my face
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with her weird old-lady
hands all the time.
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Veronica, when parents are stressed,
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sometimes, the children feel the pain.
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But you're a resilient young woman.
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You will get through
this kitchen remodel.
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To make toast, I have to walk
all the way to the garage.
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Hey, there are no victims
in this classroom.
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But if you start to feel overwhelmed,
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you can call me anytime
on my new mobile phone.
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555-0159.
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I may take you up on that.
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My parents are picking out tile tonight,
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and they're a mile apart.
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Good luck.
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Rick!
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How was your summer?
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I went zip-lining in Costa Rica,
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and I fed fresh clams
to a capuchin monkey.
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Nobody tells you what to do
when you run out of clams.
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I heard you giving out your
personal phone number to a student?
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This year, I decided I wanna
give these kids more.
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Classic second-year-teacher mistake.
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They suck you in with their
needy, little faces,
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and the next thing you know,
you're at their house,
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pretending to be their
butler so you can impress
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some rich girl they met at soccer camp.
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On the plus side,
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I did learn how to make
a mean Beef Wellington.
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I would totally do that.
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As your mentor, I have to say
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that getting too close will
end up biting you in the ass,
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like a small but aggressive
monkey jonesing for clams.
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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Barry, guess what. I'm
walking into the hallway.
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I know!
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The reception is so clear!
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I said it's clear.
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Wait, y... Hold on. You're breaking up.
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Breaking up!
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No! No, no! Not us! No,
we're not breaking up!
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Barry, are you crying?
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Mm.
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This thing is a miracle.
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Wow. Looks like Lainey Lewis
joined the space program
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over the summer.
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Barry and I got them so we can stay
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in constant contact with each other.
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We are crushing
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the long-distance-relationship thing.
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So, you guys made it through
the summer, then? Ah.
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Man, that's... good.
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Still going strong,
like Brad and Gwyneth.
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Brad and Gwyny are Splitsville.
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But they got the same haircut!
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I had a pretty bitchin' summer.
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I, uh, I did the whole
Renaissance Fair circuit.
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I threw some pottery. Oh.
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You all have some Swedish
butter pots coming, by the way.
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So, where's this new teacher
we're supposed to be meeting?
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I just left a bunch of
unsupervised fourth-graders
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- to Clorox my gym mats.
- Oh!
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Well, here she is now.
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- Everyone...
- Hey!
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... this is our new biology
teacher, Ms. Wilma Howell.
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00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,549
Hi.
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I was clever enough to steal Wilma away
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from my good friend the commandant
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at Valley Forge Prep.
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If you've never heard a Marine
colonel sobbing on the phone,
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it is actually... very unsettling.
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He's a good friend and
a real American hero.
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What do you got there?
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Treats on the first day, huh?
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Oh, are these mochi balls?
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Actually, mouse-y balls.
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Frozen baby mice I feed
to my classroom snake.
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That's... really upsetting.
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It's biology. Circle of life.
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Sadly, nothing'll shock these kids.
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They see worse out there every day
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in this snake-eat-mice world.
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Do I need to put my name on this?
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Uh, I think the whole
freezer's yours now.
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Uh, let me get my Lean
Cuisines out of there.
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What? It's how Coop keeps it tight.
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Must be a culture shock, Wilma,
coming from a military school.
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Well, if it helps ease
the transition at all,
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please feel free to call me Colonel Fun.
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Oh, by the way, Friday is Pajama Day,
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and that's an order from the colonel.
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Yes!
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All you folks here are
all so, uh, cheerful
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- and... nice.
- Thank you.
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We're actually trying to change
the official school motto
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to "Hakuna Matata."
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Yes, but we're getting a
surprising amount of pushback
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from Disney legal.
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I'm just a little confused
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as to what you have
to be so happy about.
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Based on my classes so far,
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your kids are a bunch of dum-dums.
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Ooh! New teacher coming in hot!
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Solid hire!
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We try to steer clear
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of labeling our students "dum-dums."
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Yeah, we like to refer to
them as "future achievers."
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That sounds like a nice way to
say "somebody else's problem."
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Well, thank you.
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I'm here to teach hard science,
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not coddle them with pajama parties.
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To be clear, the pajamas
are not for the students.
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No, that's a faculty thing.
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This is what I sleep in,
so I'm good to go.
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Wilma, I reach my students
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by getting in their faces
and into their lives.
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Which is why I'm taking
them all out to Six Flags,
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like Michelle Pfeiffer.
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That makes absolutely no sense.
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This is what I've been telling her.
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You drive a bunch of kids
to the amusement park,
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they start to treat
you like a chauffeur.
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And that's halfway to a butler.
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Rick, I really appreciate all
the help you gave me last year,
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when I was a newbie.
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It was adorable how pathetic you were.
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She was like Bambi in that scene
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where he's slipping on the ice.
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Bambi. Clumsy idiot.
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Yeah, but I'm not slipping now,
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and I don't need a mentor anymore.
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Well, as your mentor, I'd have
to advise against that decision.
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From now on, I want to
chart my own course...
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by being exactly like Michelle Pfeiffer.
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You mean like one of those teachers
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that's always there for their students
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when they have no one else to turn to?
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Plus, her bone structure.
The woman is flawless.
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It turns out taking 30
kids to Six Flags...
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- 'Scuse us.
- ... was prohibitively expensive.
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- So sorry.
- Popcorn run.
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I settled on a more
manageable class outing.
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Barry, guess where
you're calling me now.
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I'm in a movie theater.
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Shhhhh!
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Wait, who is this?
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Let me step outside.
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00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,699
Yeah, I'm speaking on a mobile
phone, so I can go anywhere.
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Please do!
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Who am I talking to?
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00:06:52,270 --> 00:06:55,799
This is WYSP 94.1 on your radio dial.
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Your name was chosen at
random to win tickets
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00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,099
to see Fiona Apple tonight
at the Trocadero.
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00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,369
Congratulations!
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00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:02,499
Oh, my God.
201
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,169
Are you serious? I love Fiona Apple.
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00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:06,179
Bring a guitar, because you're invited
203
00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:07,959
to jam with Fiona before the show.
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00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,479
Just go to her tour bus and say
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00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,879
"I'm ready for my Apple jam."
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00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:11,889
And be persistent.
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00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,642
Security may not be familiar
with your contest prize.
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00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,119
Thank you so much.
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00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,619
I literally can die now.
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00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:19,649
Or at least after Fiona
and I become best friends
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00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:22,067
and record a live album at Red Rocks.
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00:07:22,068 --> 00:07:24,389
By the way, Lainey Lewis.
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00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:26,429
Rock star by night, teacher star by day.
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00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:30,600
Oh, crap! I forgot about the kids!
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00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,629
Over the next few days, CB saw more of
216
00:07:33,630 --> 00:07:34,879
Wilma Howell's teaching style
217
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,414
and found he didn't quite like it.
218
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:38,332
What is going on?
219
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,959
That new biology teacher's punishing us.
220
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,129
I couldn't explain how
the human heart works.
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00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,579
But who amongst us can?
222
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Everybody in there.
223
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,429
Okay, you clowns are dismissed.
224
00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:49,160
Go disappoint some other teacher.
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00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:54,179
I know you meant "clown"
as an insult, Wilma,
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00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:56,851
but as a graduate of Barnum
& Bailey University,
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00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:59,019
I take that as the
highest of compliments,
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00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,269
so... thank you very much.
229
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,269
Tom Scott. What are you up to, man?
230
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:06,279
He's not allowed to leave
231
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,219
until he puts that
skeleton back together.
232
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,299
I got a C-minus on my anatomy test.
233
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:12,616
That Operation game is very misleading.
234
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,286
You don't think you're being
a little bit too harsh?
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00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:15,719
If anything, I'm getting soft.
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00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,159
My last C-minus kid is that skeleton.
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00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,679
Am I any closer, Ms. Howell?
238
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,959
Tom, you've seen a person before, right?
239
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,039
Well, yeah, but only with skin on.
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00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,979
I've worked with your kind
at other schools, CB.
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00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:27,381
You're the "fun" teacher.
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00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,179
Hey, if the students are having fun,
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00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:30,635
they don't even notice they're learning.
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00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:31,802
Because maybe they're not.
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00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:34,429
I'm less worried about entertaining them
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00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,299
than making sure they're
ready to go out into a world
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00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:38,851
that's not in the mood
to cut them any slack.
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00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,989
Ms. Howell?
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00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:43,982
I don't have my report on
the circulatory system.
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00:08:43,983 --> 00:08:45,599
It's been a tough week.
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00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,276
My... parakeet died.
252
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,528
We had a memorial in the English class.
253
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,364
We lit candles and we
sang "On Eagle's Wings."
254
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,399
And I made a clever
adjustment of the lyrics.
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00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,619
Yeah, we can all picture
what that adjust...
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00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:57,699
I made it "parakeet wings."
257
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:02,584
This must be a painful
time for you, Debra.
258
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,629
I'll need you to bring me
in the dead bird, please.
259
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,079
- What?!
- What kind of child
260
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,719
would lie about a dead pet
261
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,174
just to get out of an assignment?
262
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,179
All of them.
263
00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:12,802
Worst-case scenario... I'm wrong,
264
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,749
Debra brings in the bird, I apologize,
265
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:17,819
and we have a really cool
specimen to dissect in class.
266
00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:19,789
Either the bird or your assignment
267
00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:20,959
on my desk tomorrow.
268
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:21,977
Your call.
269
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,395
This is so unfair!
270
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,189
See? She gets it.
271
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,019
I can't believe I fell for it.
272
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,659
I'm standing there
with my stupid guitar,
273
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:32,699
like a crazy stalker, pounding
on Fiona Apple's tour bus,
274
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,157
when suddenly, I get dragged
off by her security team.
275
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,849
If they don't call themselves
the "Apple Corps,"
276
00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:38,369
they are missing a bet.
277
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,640
This cruel but ingenious prank
278
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:42,541
was obviously perpetrated by
one of your jerk-dip students.
279
00:09:42,542 --> 00:09:43,679
She's doling out her number
280
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:46,627
like a teacher who paints
houses on the weekend. Oh.
281
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:47,920
That actually reminds me.
282
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,249
I gave my number to one kid.
283
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:50,899
And by now, it's being
spread all over the school
284
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:51,909
like head lice.
285
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:53,199
You need to figure out who did this
286
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,129
and come down on them
like a ton of bricks.
287
00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:56,679
If anything, I'm gonna come down on them
288
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,722
with a ton of understanding
and compassion.
289
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,419
You crossed a boundary with these kids,
290
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:01,851
and you lost their respect.
291
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,119
Yes, and loss of respect
is no laughing matter.
292
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,999
Unless you're the brilliant
Rodney Dangerfield.
293
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,679
But even then, I can sense
294
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,560
a certain amount of pain
behind the laughter.
295
00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:13,154
This is exactly when a
mentor comes in handy.
296
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,947
When you finally come
to your senses, Lewis,
297
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,032
I'm perfectly willing to be begged.
298
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,759
For the record, I think it's
great that Lainey wants
299
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,490
to be more open and
trusting with the kids.
300
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:24,489
I refuse to see the world as
some dark Darwinian hellscape
301
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,159
where the freezers are packed
full of dead baby mice
302
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,378
that are easily mistaken
for popcorn shrimp.
303
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,599
CB accidentally ate one shrimp-mouse,
304
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,000
and now, all of a sudden,
he has a grudge against Wilma.
305
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:36,427
She's outrageously strict
with her students, John.
306
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,049
She's also an outrageously
great teacher, CB.
307
00:10:39,050 --> 00:10:40,060
Just go to her tour bus
308
00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:41,819
and say "I'm ready for my Apple jam."
309
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:43,050
Wait. That's the radio guy.
310
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,184
Were you in on it? Coop, what the hell?!
311
00:10:45,185 --> 00:10:47,969
No! All I did was confiscate
this Talkboy thingie
312
00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:49,599
from Aaron Rubin in my Spanish class
313
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,442
'cause he kept making
it say "sacapuntas."
314
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,527
- What does that mean?
- "Pencil sharpener."
315
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,779
Ohh. Such a beautiful language.
316
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,899
It was Aaron Rubin?
317
00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:57,909
Do you want me to call
him into my office?
318
00:10:57,910 --> 00:11:00,810
I've been practicing my
looks of stern disapproval.
319
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,912
Are you doing it now?
320
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,412
'Cause it actually looks friendlier.
321
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,819
I am cursed with my
grandmother's kind eyes.
322
00:11:06,820 --> 00:11:08,199
I don't want to punish Aaron.
323
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,779
He's having trouble making
high-school friends.
324
00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:11,199
That's why he acted out.
325
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,099
I'm gonna sit him down and
figure out what's going on
326
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,673
inside that dangerous mind of his.
327
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,299
He's always been an awkward kid.
328
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,560
Yeah, he has the body of a child
329
00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:20,179
and the head of someone
trying to sell you insurance.
330
00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:23,379
Aaron! Word's out!
331
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:24,709
Ms. Lewis knows you pranked her!
332
00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:25,726
But it's weird.
333
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,379
She hasn't called my parents,
no principal's office,
334
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,299
and get this... when I
saw her this morning,
335
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,779
she said, "Hi, Aaron."
336
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:34,049
She's just messing with
you before she strikes.
337
00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,859
Just like that snake
in Ms. Howell's class
338
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,404
plays with the mouse before eating it.
339
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,609
Hi, Aaron. Can I see you for a minute?
340
00:11:39,610 --> 00:11:41,660
Me and Bobby are actually
in the middle of a...
341
00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:44,660
We'll finish that up later, buddy.
342
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,956
Hey, Rick? You wanted to see me?
343
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,375
No, Coop. You wanted to see me.
344
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,499
"Coop, come see me. Mellor."
345
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:54,040
And you are gonna be delighted
that you decided to stop by.
346
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,422
Again, not my idea.
347
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,079
You see, the thing is,
I currently have an opening
348
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,425
in my stable of mentees.
349
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,468
Y-Your stable of what?
350
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:02,339
I'm mentoring you, man! Congratulations!
351
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:03,799
See, currently, as a Spanish teacher,
352
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,789
you are just bueno.
353
00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:07,399
But I can help you up your game
354
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,938
until you are el professor excelente.
355
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,059
Oh, I see. You're looking
for a rebound mentee
356
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:14,566
because Lainey Lewis dumped you.
357
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,269
I've had my eye on you for years.
358
00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:18,612
You got a lot of raw talent
just waiting to be molded.
359
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:21,879
For example, let's take a look
at your current class formation.
360
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,839
Now, you got a lot of
your weaker students
361
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,619
riding the bench in the back.
362
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,580
I say you move them down to the middle,
363
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,109
and you flank them on both sides
364
00:12:30,110 --> 00:12:31,739
with some of your varsity
Spanish speakers.
365
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:34,334
For example, like that exchange
student from "Barthelona."
366
00:12:34,335 --> 00:12:36,379
That kid is a friggin' natural.
367
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,059
You build your offense around him,
368
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:39,889
and then you blitz these scrubs nonstop
369
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:42,959
with the "¿Cómo estás?"
and the "¿Cómo te llamas?"
370
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,610
And you ride this kid all
the way to the postseason.
371
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,699
That'd be summer school.
372
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,430
I'm gonna be on a cruise with my family.
373
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,770
Well, if you don't want it,
I can't want it for you.
374
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,481
Yeah, I don't want it.
375
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,519
You'll be back!
376
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,079
So, listen, we both know
377
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,487
what went down with the
Fiona Apple prank.
378
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,990
I hate to see a good kid
getting hooked on pranks.
379
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,549
You're sweating, Aaron.
You want a Snapple?
380
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,827
Yeah, right! I see what
you're trying to do.
381
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,121
There's Tabasco sauce in there. Or wizz.
382
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,119
Trust me... I have no
intention of pranking you.
383
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,259
That's exactly what you would say
384
00:13:12,260 --> 00:13:13,876
if you were going to prank me.
385
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,819
But it's also what I'd say if I wasn't.
386
00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:17,339
I get it... you're in high school now,
387
00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:18,922
and you're feeling lost socially.
388
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,466
You want to know what I turned to
389
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,218
to find my way as an awkward teen?
390
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:23,599
Grab that guitar.
391
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,054
Let me show you a couple chords.
392
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,348
What'd you do? You replace
the strings with razor wire
393
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,516
so when I strum it,
I slice off my fingertips?
394
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,059
What would I want with
your severed fingertips?
395
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,199
You'd wear them to commit crimes,
396
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,899
and then I'd get framed for it.
397
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,272
Well, nice try!
398
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,079
I'm outta here!
399
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,080
Aaron!
400
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,359
Hey, Aaron.
401
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,779
I heard about that prank
you played on Ms. Lewis.
402
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,359
- That was epic.
- Really?
403
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,539
How'd you even dream up something
like that fake deejay thing?
404
00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:48,289
I would have just
wizzed in her beverage.
405
00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,629
I saw an opportunity, and
like most things in life,
406
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,332
it's about timing and who you know.
407
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,790
Totally.
408
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,239
Well, listen, me and the
guys are gonna head out
409
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,587
to see that movie "American Pie."
410
00:13:57,588 --> 00:13:58,699
You wanna come?
411
00:13:58,700 --> 00:13:59,879
Oh, my God!
412
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,539
Me, go with you guys to a movie
413
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:05,177
that's rated "R" for language
and adult situations?
414
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,221
I'm in!
415
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,659
Actually, Ronnie, instead
of going to the movie,
416
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:14,100
why don't you go... yourself?
417
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,479
Whoa!
418
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,231
You're clearly in cahoots
with Ms. Lewis.
419
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,179
No idea what you're talking about...
420
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:21,443
or... what "cahoots" means.
421
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,789
Whatever, weirdo.
422
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:24,864
Hey, you want to catch
"American Pie" with us, nerd?
423
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,139
See you 'round, Aaron.
424
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:28,992
Wait. What?
425
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:33,369
I blew my chance to
hang with the seniors?
426
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:35,582
I tried to tell you...
there was no prank.
427
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,779
So I pranked myself.
428
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:40,039
And the most ingenious part...
I never saw it coming.
429
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,380
This is all your fault!
430
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,699
You giving around your number
431
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,359
and trying to get in everybody's lives?
432
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,801
What kind of teacher does that?
433
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,261
It's too weird!
434
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:49,844
I kept waiting for you to punish
me, like a normal teacher.
435
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,199
I don't wanna punish you.
I want to help you.
436
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,393
Well, if you wanna help me,
437
00:14:53,394 --> 00:14:56,059
just leave me alone.
438
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,099
Okay. Wilma Howell has
gone nuts this time.
439
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,234
She's keeping her whole
class after school
440
00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:05,799
as some kind of a group punishment.
441
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,719
Standing out there on the
football field. Look at that.
442
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,339
I'm sure she has her reasons.
443
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,109
Maybe someone smacked their gum.
444
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:13,579
In fairness, that is also
a pet peeve of mine.
445
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,099
Well, your pet peeve better not die,
446
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,749
or she'll make you dig it
up and bring it to class.
447
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,719
Okay, fine. I will go out
and have a talk with her.
448
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,087
I can always use another
entry into my cloud journal.
449
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,715
Oh, you have a cloud journal?
450
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,899
Wilma, is there some good reason
451
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:27,689
that you have your whole class out here?
452
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:29,189
And trust me, no one enjoys
453
00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:32,097
pointlessly staring at
the sky more than I do.
454
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,399
Whoa! Look at that one, CB.
455
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,970
It looks like Pat Sajak
riding a dolphin.
456
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,771
We'll just be a little longer, John.
457
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,779
Well, you have poor
Debbie O'Donahue out here
458
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,099
in the direct sunlight.
459
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,979
That pale child will burn
standing next to a light bulb.
460
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,339
Yeah, hasn't Debra been through enough,
461
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,281
after forcing her to
exhume her parakeet?
462
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,199
Look, I've been hearing
some troubling things
463
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,609
about your teaching methods.
464
00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:53,189
Full disclosure... mostly from me.
465
00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:54,953
But also from credible sources.
466
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,499
Actually, I was lying about my parakeet.
467
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,042
- What?!
- Why did you lie?
468
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:01,699
To get out of my assignment.
469
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:03,962
Diane Para-keaton is very much alive.
470
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,079
Well, we're happy for you and the bird
471
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,675
but sad you felt you had to mislead us.
472
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,359
But Ms. Howell wasn't fooled.
473
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,638
She saw right through
me and called me on it.
474
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,973
So I did my report, and I got a B-plus.
475
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,725
You earned a B-plus.
476
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,539
I am very sorry, Wilma.
477
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,604
You were right and I
was wrong about Debra.
478
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:23,979
That said, I would hold 100
fake dead pet memorials
479
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:27,444
if it meant truly being there
for one grieving student.
480
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,259
The service you held for my tetra fish
481
00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:30,530
was deeply moving.
482
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,279
Well, you said he needed
a Viking funeral,
483
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,859
so we shot a bunch of
tiny flaming arrows
484
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,370
at an empty matchbox.
485
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,899
No, Quentin Tetra-tino
was really in there.
486
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,599
He died from endocrine failure.
487
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,209
It was very painful.
488
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,335
Oh, that's great!
489
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,129
There you go, CB... your one out of 100
490
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,629
that wasn't yanking your chain.
491
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,339
Well, my takeaway here is that we have
492
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,551
a lot of excellent
teachers at William Penn
493
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,553
with different approaches to teaching.
494
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:54,721
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
495
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,339
And if you stop by my class on Tuesday,
496
00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:57,349
you'll see two of them.
497
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,499
Okay.
498
00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,809
Uh, one other question...
499
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,179
why do you have your whole
class out here for punishment?
500
00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:03,899
Oh, it's not a punishment.
It's a reward.
501
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:06,279
This class has been doing exemplary work
502
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,980
in our section on the monarch butterfly.
503
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,404
Look! Coming from the trees!
504
00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:12,948
Oh, my God!
505
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,199
That's amazing!
506
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,399
It's so beautiful.
507
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,469
I don't mind that it's
covering up Pat Sajak.
508
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,649
Hey, Rick, you seeing this?
509
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,418
It's like a butterfly wonderland.
510
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,809
Ah, the annual monarch
migration down to México.
511
00:17:27,810 --> 00:17:30,169
Your old stomping grounds, señor.
512
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:33,159
Nope. I'm from Toronto.
513
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,819
But it's a shame they're flying
out of the sun like that.
514
00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:37,799
Makes it harder to see.
515
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,849
Here. Try this.
516
00:17:40,850 --> 00:17:41,894
Oh.
517
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,759
Much better. Thanks.
518
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,259
You've just been mentored.
519
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,529
Welcome aboard.
520
00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:53,029
This is a transcendent moment.
521
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,099
Thanks for sharing it, Wilma.
522
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,325
Seems like the kind of occasion
523
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:58,036
where some artsy type might
want to recite a poem.
524
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,040
Come, my lady. Come, come, my lady.
525
00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:04,549
You're my butterfly. Sugar. Baby.
526
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,249
Come, my lady. You're my pretty baby.
527
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:08,670
You're my butterfly...
528
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,589
Uh, okay. Maybe we should wrap this up.
529
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,349
One more minute. You don't
want to miss the best part.
530
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:13,925
The best part? How can it
get any better than...
531
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:14,929
The crows!
532
00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:16,069
Good Lord!
533
00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:17,429
They're eating the butterflies!
534
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,599
Awesome!
535
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,119
I'm really starting to
come around on these kids.
536
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:23,459
You got a nice school here, John.
537
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:26,160
Barry?
538
00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:28,279
Ms. Lewis? I-It's Aaron Rubin.
539
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,899
Aaron? What's going on?
540
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,569
Did I win another contest?
541
00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,862
- No. I'm in trouble.
- What kind of trouble?
542
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,490
I got caught sneaking in
to see "American Pie."
543
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,109
And you called me?
544
00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,039
My mom and dad would kill me!
545
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,699
In fact, you're the only adult
I could think of to call.
546
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:44,935
- You just want to help me, right?
- More than anything.
547
00:18:44,936 --> 00:18:47,176
Hang tight. I'll be right there.
548
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:50,999
I know what you're going to say,
Rick. I'm making a mistake,
549
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,449
and I'm going to end
up that kid's butler,
550
00:18:52,450 --> 00:18:53,459
but I don't care.
551
00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:55,099
Aaron reached out, and I'm
going to be there for him.
552
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,229
So prepare that Beef Wellington recipe.
553
00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:58,829
Actually, I'm impressed, Lewis.
554
00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:01,039
24 hours ago, that kid set
out to humiliate you,
555
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,933
and he did so in spectacular fashion.
556
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:03,975
Well, that's in the past.
557
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,310
Everybody's still talking about it.
558
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,879
But you handled it your way.
559
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,219
And now Aaron is coming to you
560
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,099
as the person he trusts the most.
561
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,819
- That's huge.
- You think?
562
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:13,949
Look, I put a lot of work
563
00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:15,539
into maintaining the godlike status
564
00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:17,069
I have with these students,
565
00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:18,699
but it comes at a price.
566
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,620
I don't connect to them the way you do.
567
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:24,149
Maybe the second-year teacher
can teach me something.
568
00:19:24,150 --> 00:19:26,019
Well, I had an excellent mentor.
569
00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:27,729
That's nice, but you can't come back.
570
00:19:27,730 --> 00:19:29,209
Coop already took your place.
571
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,099
It was a whole new year at William Penn.
572
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,869
Was I as cool as Michelle Pfeiffer?
573
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:36,899
No.
574
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,939
Was I the teacher I wanted to be yet?
575
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:41,019
No. But I was on my way.
576
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,789
And I had a lot of
wonderful teachers around
577
00:19:48,790 --> 00:19:50,349
to act as role models,
578
00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:53,400
each of us with our own
way of doing things.
579
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,570
But we all had the same goal...
580
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,240
... being there when the
kids needed us most.
581
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,979
The great thing about cloud journaling
582
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:06,679
is that every interpretation is valid.
583
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,729
That one kind of looks like a manatee.
584
00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:09,749
Nope.
585
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,126
You're wrong. You're way off.
586
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,754
That's clearly Bob Barker
putting on a sock.
587
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,254
I notice you tend to see a
lot of game-show hosts.
588
00:20:16,255 --> 00:20:18,979
That's not the Bob Barker who
hosts some tacky game show.
589
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:21,199
That's the Bob Barker who
tirelessly advocates
590
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,388
spaying and neutering your pets.
591
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,307
Hey, look, a butterfly.
592
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:26,641
Wrong again.
593
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:27,809
You're not good at this.
594
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,539
No, over there. You see?
595
00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:31,438
It's an actual monarch butterfly.
596
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,519
Aw. Sweet little guy.
597
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:34,529
He's on his way to meet his friends
598
00:20:34,530 --> 00:20:36,269
on their journey to Mexico.
599
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:38,612
iVaya con Dios, amigo!
600
00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,199
Uh-oh! Crow!
601
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,229
Fly away, little buddy!
602
00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:42,824
Use some evasive maneuvers!
603
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,869
Do a loopty-loop!
604
00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:47,579
- Ohh. Ohh!
- Do...
605
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,209
He neither looptied nor looped.
606
00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:53,160
Okay, I-I'm... I'm done.
I'm done. I'm done.
607
00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:57,149
Oh, look!
608
00:20:57,150 --> 00:21:00,509
That one looks like Alex
Trebek on a snowmobile!
609
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:03,760
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
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