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(grunting)
(bright guitar music)
(heavy breathing)
(laughs)
(bright guitar music continues)
(heavy breathing)
(phone ringing)
- Shit.
Sorry I must have fallen asleep.
I don't know why those girls would take a sofa.
You're right, they were crazy.
Hey I'm really sorry there was ah...
what are you doing here?
- I'm here because I care about you,
that's why we're all here.
- Is this about the sofa?
- It's about everything Gabriel,
it's setting stuff on fire, driving around in a hearse,
frittering away the money that mom left you
to play in this group.
I mean have you ever paid rent?
- Yeah I was gonna pay it back.
- It's alright man, this isn't any of your business.
Alright it's my money.
- Do you ever wonder what happened to your friends,
your girlfriend?
- I don't have time for girlfriends,
and these are my friends, Alice, and we're gonna be big.
Alright? We're gonna be huge.
- Shut up will yah, both of yah.
This meeting is happening because you're out of control.
- Rock and roll is supposed to be out of control Pearse,
I mean, why do you think she keeps coming to our gigs?
- For the last time Nevo is not coming to our gigs.
There's no pop stars coming to our gigs.
You're a good drummer man.
- Yeah thanks.
- There's plenty of other good drummers out there.
You need to get your act together right now.
- You just need to maybe cut back on the booze and spliff.
- That is not what we agreed.
- [Toss] He deserves a chance.
- Are you both deluded too?
- We all know he needs to clean up his act and he will,
won't you man?
- He's sick for Christ sake.
(door opens) (car tires squealing)
(light guitar music)
♪ Slow down there's nothing after you ♪
♪ Back down, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ Calm down, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ After you ♪
♪ Slow down, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ Calm down, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ After you ♪
♪ Yeah, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ Slow down, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ Back down, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ Calm down, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ After you ♪
♪ Slow down, there's nothing after you ♪
♪ Back down ♪
- [Gabriel] I'm really sorry.
- This is the last thing I'm doing for you Gabriel.
I've kids of my own now, they're my priority.
- I know.
(Door opens)
- Alice.
- Thank you so much for seeing us.
- Gabriel, now let's do this
the right way huh.
- Are there side effects?
- [Dr. Flahavan] There are side effects with most
medications, hopefully your brother's won't be too severe.
- How long will I be on these for?
- Well let's see how you react,
you may need to switch your dosage
or change you to something else.
- I mean on anything?
- Oh I imagine you'll be on some form of medication
for the rest of your life.
It's not such a big deal, lots of people are
for one thing or another.
I mean I take medication myself every day,
blood pressure, that's what runs in my family.
Luck of the draw.
I'm also gonna recommend that you take part
in a mixed ability football game,
it's set up by a former colleague of mine,
Eric Vasser.
- Football?
- Physical exercise would be so therapeutic for you.
Plus it may help combat any side effects you may experience.
Your mother once told me you used to be
quite a handy player.
(players shouting)
- [Eric] Nice and easy now.
Nice touch, good touch Shawn.
Yeah trap and tap, trap and tap.
- [Gabriel] Eric?
- Gabriel right?
- Yeah.
- Remind me why you're here again?
- Just been over indulging a bit.
- Bipolar with psychotic and delusional episodes
it says here.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Grab a blue bib let's get you sweating.
(gentle guitar music)
[Eric] Well done Robert, nice touch,
that's it yeah, nice and gentle.
Yeah nice one guys.
Nice and soft.
Yeah, keep the ball down, keep the ball down.
Yeah right to your partners foot, good stuff.
Okay let's get this match started.
(whistle blowing)
Keep the energy levels up.
Well done Christopher.
[Eric] Wonderful.
Great save, well played.
Yeah don't mark the man, mark the ball.
- I was in control of the ball.
- What are you doing, you could have broken my leg,
I'm a drummer.
- Accidents happen some times in football.
You're not allowed to touch me.
- Oh but you're allowed to break my leg?
- [Eric] Lads.
- You're not allowed to touch me I said.
- Hey, say you're sorry for hurting him.
- I'm not saying sorry to that freak.
- Well then get out.
Go on you're not welcome.
- Fine, you're all shit anyway.
- He had no right to do that to yah.
- [Christopher] I was in control of the ball.
- You okay about what happened today with that new guy?
- Well he doesn't understand the rules.
- No that's right, he didn't understand them at all.
(car engine revving)
(knocking on door)
- We're gonna be late for rehearsal.
(knocking on door)
[Toss] You look wrecked man.
- Just give me a hand will yah.
- If this is what clean living looks like,
remind me never to try it.
(upbeat rock music)
(gentle snoring)
- I really don't know what to tell you Gabriel.
Yes I do have colleagues who believe that
intensive counseling and therapy can be an effective
alternative to medication for some clients.
I also have colleagues who prescribe yoga,
but in your particular case any regime
other then the clinically proven route we've agreed
would be a huge gamble.
- I can't play drums like this, I'm gonna have to stop
taking these meds.
- Mr Vasser's football should be starting to help
with the fatigue.
- Yeah well that didn't really work out.
- [Dr. Flahavan] You've stopped going to his sessions?
- It's just football.
- It's an integral element of the therapeutic regime
we set for you.
- Yeah it's just I don't remember you prescribing
special needs football for my mom.
Or doing anything else that worked.
- After your mother died.
- After she killed herself.
- When she succumbed to her illness
I of course went through all the decisions
that were made.
- That you made.
- That were made in her treatment by me, yes,
and on reflection there is one decision
that I now think I got wrong.
- Yeah, what was that?
- In retrospect it was a mistake to allow her
to continue to be treated in an outpatient context.
- You can't lock me up for not playing
football with retards.
- We have a plan Gabriel, and you need to stick to it.
- He doesn't know what the rule is Eric,
tell him what the rule is.
- What are you doing back here?
- I'm here to play, doctors orders.
- No doctor orders me what to do.
- Look you don't understand alright, I have to.
- If you can make friends with him you can play.
Christopher, you ready for this guy to make friends?
- And learn the rules.
- Yeah, he has to learn the rules.
- Yeah, whatever it takes.
- Go on then, I want us to be friends.
Say it.
- I want us to be friends man, please.
- And Christopher, you have to forgive him
for what he did to yah because that's what we do
when somebody's truly sorry for what they've done, right?
- Okay. - So tell him.
- I forgive you.
- Good, let's shake on it.
(gentle guitar music)
Okay then, let's play.
[Eric] Okay guys, great game today, well played everybody.
Right let's collect the bibs, well played Shawn,
those drills are really paying off.
Okay guys, well player Robert.
- [Christopher] What's your number?
- Sorry.
- I need your number, or you need mine.
Otherwise how are we supposed to stay in touch
and make arrangements?
- We're not.
- That's what friends do actually in case you didn't know.
- Everything good here?
- Yeah I'm just waiting to swap numbers.
- He thinks we're supposed to stay in touch as friends.
- Well you better give it to him then.
Okay guys, all back to the car park.
See you next week guys.
(phone ringing)
- Hello.
Yeah I can't right now I'm kinda busy.
No later's no good either, I'm rehearsing.
Tomorrow?
No I'm playing a show.
(doorbell ringing)
Listen I gotta go somebody's just come round.
(doorbell ringing)
Yeah, yeah, another friend, alright bye.
(door slams)
(snoring)
- Do you start with the biggest drum or the smallest one?
- What are you doing here?
- Well you said you were playing tonight.
So I looked up your name and found your bands name.
Then I looked up that name and found out
you were playing here tonight before another band
that's better then you.
Then I looked up the bus timetables.
- Listen you can't be here right now okay.
- Everything okay?
- You cool for tonight yeah?
- Yeah.
- Hi I'm Gabriel's friend Christopher.
Are you his friend too?
- I'll just get the gear.
- Did you know that the average height
of the top five goalkeepers in the world
is one meter 92 centimeters,
that's six foot three and a half inches.
- Can you please stop talking about goalkeeping.
- Can you please not touch me.
- Listen I kind of need to come across as together
right now, especially in front of those lads.
You're not helping.
- [Christopher] Well I'm trying to help.
- I don't want you to help.
Look it's not you man, alright,
it's your, you know your mental health issue.
- I don't have a mental health issue,
I have Asperger's, it's a syndrome,
not a mental health issue.
- Whatever.
- You have a mental health issue, Eric told me,
he said that you have bipolar
and also maybe one or two other things.
- Alright, just keep talking about goalkeeping,
just keep it down will yah.
- You gonna do the sound check are yah?
- Yeah two minutes.
Don't touch that.
- Some really famous goalkeepers are actually
only one meter 73 centimeters or five foot eight inches.
(audience applauding)
- Thank you.
Hey sorry I was a bit dead tonight.
- What's with your little friend?
- He's not my friend man, he's just
a guy I play football with.
- You're playing football now are yah?
- Yeah, just get fit you know, stay sharp,
it's kind of a charity thing too.
- We better get the gear off.
- Yeah sorry it's private back here.
- Just I sorted your equipment out.
- What you do with it?
(gentle piano music)
You packed the entire stage down by yourself
in 15 minutes?
- I'm good at organizing things.
You're better then the listing magazine
said you would be.
A little better I mean.
(laughing)
- Do you fancy a beer?
- By law I'm not allowed to have alcohol
for 44 more days.
- Yeah it's getting a bit late for you anyway isn't it?
- I think you've just earned the right to break the law.
- At the moment I'm one meter 80 centimeters
or five foot 11 inches, but I'm only 17
and your body doesn't stop growing until you're at least
22 or older, so I think I'll be okay.
- Yeah you're never gonna be six foot three.
How tall is your dad?
- I don't know, the last time I saw him
I was only three years old, and I wasn't interested
in goalkeeping then so I didn't ask him.
He lives in another country now so I don't see him.
- So you just live with your mom then?
- No I live in St Cosmas.
- What's that, like a home?
- It's not a home, it's a residential unit
for young people with so called developmental disorders
who's families find it hard to cope.
My mom lives with her new partner Jeremy
but I'm moving back in to live with her when I'm 18.
[Christopher] Do you live with your mom and dad I said?
- They're both dead.
- [Christopher] How did they die?
- Doesn't matter.
- Did they get knocked over?
Or murdered?
Or did they die of AIDS? You can treat AIDS now
but maybe they caught it before then.
- My dad had a heart attack and my mom killed herself okay.
- Awkward.
- What do you mean awkward?
- Having to tell people your mother killed herself.
How did she do it?
- Awkward isn't the word that I'd choose,
you could say selfish or stupid, or tragic,
or you could just shut up, and not say anything at all.
- Did she do it in some really embarrassing way
you don't want to talk about?
- Yeah that's exactly it, can we change the subject please?
- Okay.
How tall was your father?
- I said let's change the subject.
- I am changing the subject, I'm talking about
goalkeepers again.
- Look, thanks for helping me pack down the kit and all
but tonight was a once off okay.
- Are you not playing anymore concerts?
- No, you're not to show up at anymore concerts.
Or anywhere else around the band.
- Do you play football?
- Do I look like I play football?
- Not regularly.
(laughs)
- You're funny. [To Gabriel] Maybe you just found your new roadie.
- I gotta go.
- Drink your beer man.
(door opens)
- Eric I drank beer.
- [Eric] Hey, hey keep it down.
- I drank four big glasses of beer Eric.
- Where were yah?
Okay let's get you up to bed.
- That's my personal space.
- Okay, okay but let's lower the volume,
who gave you the beer?
- My new friend Gabriel, and his friends, Pearse and Toss.
Eric, I don't like beer.
- I think we'll have to keep an eye
on that new friend of yours.
- That will be easy from now on.
(gentle music)
- No, no, I told yah.
- He told me to come.
- It's what you've been begging for isn't it,
road crew.
It's taking you about an hour to set up these days
so maybe Christopher here can save us all some time yeah.
We're gonna grab a coffee,
be ready to play when we get back.
- Listen this isn't gonna work.
- Of course it will, I remember everything
from the last day.
It's kind of like LEGO but with much less pieces.
(drum cymbals)
Do you have LEGO?
- [Gabriel] When I was a kid.
- [Christopher] What sets did you have?
- [Gabriel] I can't remember.
- [Christopher] What age are you?
- [Gabriel] 24.
- You probably had the building site
with the cement mixer, catalog number 423.
Or the electric railway catalog number 454.
- I actually did have the railway.
My dad couldn't get it to work.
- There were some faulty batches.
- How can you possibly know there were faulty batches
in LEGO train sets 15 years ago?
- Because I'm interested in LEGO.
- Hey, can you not say anything about my mental health
to the other guys, can we just keep that a secret?
As a favor to a friend.
- Okay and in return you can practice penalties with me.
Deal?
- Yeah.
- I'll show you my bass rig.
- He's kind of works isn't he?
- Yeah I guess.
- And you're starting to feel better yeah?
- Yeah, yeah no I feel a lot clearer, clean.
- At the show next week there's a management guy coming,
big guy.
- Are you serious?
That's great man, yeah look good management is all we need.
- So we've got to be kicking, he's looking for energy.
Thursday night you're our crew, wear black.
- Are white shoes okay?
(laughs)
- Yeah white shoes are fine man.
(gentle piano music)
♪ Drug squad, mug shot ♪
♪ Startled blue eyes ♪
♪ All those years of falling ♪
♪ Years of lies ♪
♪ Still beneath your paperweight skin ♪
♪ I see the little boy longing ♪
♪ Just to be let in ♪
♪ Baby baby ♪
♪ All I see is who you grew into ♪
♪ But baby, baby, through your evil eyes ♪
♪ I still see you just as a child ♪
♪ Wander nights in slippers and rain ♪
♪ You don't know these streets ♪
♪ Don't know your own name ♪
♪ CCTV shows angry and gray ♪
♪ Where's that little girl looking ♪
♪ For a friend to stay ♪
(phone ringing)
- [Receptionist] Hello Grosvenor Psychiatric Clinic.
- Could I speak to Dr Flahavan please?
- [Receptionist] The doctors out of the office
at the moment.
- When will she be back?
- [Receptionist] She's finished for the week,
is it an emergency?
- No, no it's not an emergency.
♪ Baby through your crazy days I still see you ♪
- [Alice] Hi leave a message after the tone.
- I know what you said but I really need to talk to yah
so please call me.
I really need to talk to someone.
(door opens)
I was just looking for something.
- Cool.
♪ But baby, my baby I still see right through ♪
♪ When I see you ♪
♪ I see my child ♪
(rhythmic drum beat)
Whoa, hold on.
What height are you again?
- One meter, 80 centimeters.
- Goaled yah.
- That was cheating.
- Yeah, under what rule?
(breathing heavily)
- Christopher, sit yourself for a few minutes okay.
Take a break.
What was that all about?
- It was just a joke.
- Okay the goal stands, one-nil.
Georgina you're in goals now okay.
- He's completely over reacting.
- Yeah don't worry about it son.
- No but if that's how he deals with anything
that doesn't go exactly his way I mean,
how's he gonna get on in the real world?
- Maybe he's not.
Look I know you're bipolar and all
but try not to be an arsehole as well.
- Look I didn't mean to upset yah.
Alright it was just a stupid joke.
- Well it was stupid.
And you never came to practice penalties
which is breaking our deal.
- I'll come tomorrow, promise.
- Don't say you will if you won't.
(gentle music)
(discordant instruments)
♪ The movers and the makers ♪
♪ La la la la la ♪
♪ The movers and the makers ♪
♪ La la la la la ♪
♪ The movers and the makers ♪
(gentle music)
You're a bit late.
- Yeah I got lost.
You want to introduce me to your mate?
- Roly.
We don't have lots of things in common
but we're both Asperger's.
- Asperger's, that's like autism right?
- Technically Asperger's is on the autism spectrum
but it's completely different to real autism.
Many of the greatest minds ever have been aspe,
Einstein, Beethoven, David Byrne.
Roly organized a petition for us asking
to have our own private area,
but they won't even listen to us.
Glen has real autism, completely different,
I don't have anything in common with him.
- Right.
- Want to see my LEGO?
- Sure let's do that.
- They gave me my own special space for it
because people tried to touch it like Glen.
You're not allowed to touch it either, just look.
This is the gym, with the steam room and jacuzzi,
and there's a cinema with a real working screen
from a phone.
(laughs)
- How long did it take yah?
- About five years, I started it just after I arrived.
I build each new set once to see how it's done
and then I break it and use the pieces to add rooms
to my super mansion.
- Cool.
Hey so the window's open.
- They're not supposed too, but that one is broken I think.
- So you could escape anytime.
- Come on we need to practice now.
- You approve of this?
- Yeah I'm starting to.
- He could get hurt.
- Well the way I see it is, if he's gonna stand
any chance of living independently
he's gonna have to get used to getting hurt.
Only question is will it be worth it.
- No, but people like that, rock bands,
that's not the real world.
- Well maybe that's a good thing.
Maybe he'll fit right in.
(upbeat rock music)
- He's here okay, this is the one.
Let's go out there and kill it, alright.
(audience cheering)
- See you on the other side yeah?
- Yeah.
- Why aren't you going on to play?
- Just getting my head straight.
- But it is straight, compared to what it used to be I mean.
- Any more word of wisdom?
- Don't make any mistakes.
- I'll try not to.
(audience applauding)
(drums)
(upbeat rock music)
♪ I try to take a look at your soul ♪
♪ They say the eyes are the windows ♪
♪ But yours are empty black holes ♪
♪ From all the lies that you've told ♪
♪ And the world's your eye ♪
♪ You drive your fancy big cars ♪
♪ You wanna be a rock star ♪
♪ Just who the hell do you think you are ♪
♪ But this is chance to make it alright ♪
♪ It's all in our hands, let's stand up and fight ♪
♪ 'cause this is the time to shout it out loud ♪
♪ If you make every change, if you get with the crowd ♪
♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
(audience cheers and applauds)
(energetic music)
- You guys were amazing tonight.
- I'm not in the band, I'm jut helping.
- Well you help them be amazing,
you gonna join us for a beer?
- I have to finish packing up the gear,
plus I don't like beer.
- Okay vodka then, we'll come find you when you're finished.
- Man that was the tightest we've ever been.
The tightest I've ever been anyway.
- Yeah, he's really interested.
- And?
- We're meeting again next week.
- Yeah. - That's brilliant man.
That's brilliant.
- Let's celebrate.
- Guys I can't, early start you know.
You lads go for it.
Alright. - Alright.
- To bright lights.
You haven't even touched your beer.
- [Gabriel] Water's fine mate honestly.
- Hi. - Hey.
- A beer for my man.
- Oh thanks but I don't like beer,
also someone else is getting me a drink.
- Yeah sorry, we're having a band meeting here.
- Alright then, come on darling,
we know when we're not wanted.
- Listen it's not a good idea, you and her.
- Don't mind him, I don't bite.
Or if I do you'll enjoy it.
- I'm going for my drink now.
- Ah, he's allowed a bit of fun.
(knocking on door)
- Hurry up I'm freezing.
- We're nearly there.
(sings)
♪ The movers and the makers ♪
♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ The movers and the ♪
- Supposed to be practicing penalties with Christopher.
- He's probably still in bed, he's been staying out
really late going to concerts with some girl.
Eric says he's taking the P-I-S-S.
- So where's Mr Lovermans crash pad?
Where does he sleep?
- First floor, room four.
- Thanks.
♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ The movers and the makers ♪
♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ The movers and the makers ♪
- Hey, so I'm gonna clap my hands four times
and when I do you all start playing together yeah.
Alright, one, two, three, four.
♪ The movers and the makers ♪
♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ The movers and the makers ♪
♪ La la la la la la ♪
- The thing is girls don't really treat you
like you're different like boys do.
I think because all boys are so different
to all girls that when you're a little bit
more different they don't really notice.
- Your concentrations way off today.
Listen man there's something you should know
about girls like Jamie.
They're into bands not people.
They don't always tell the truth.
- You shouldn't say things like that
about somebody who's thinking about being my girlfriend.
She said she was your girlfriend for a while.
- Yeah for about two minutes when I was off my face.
Look I'm not saying it to be mean alright,
it's just you deserve someone you can trust,
and trust you back, actually believe in you, you know.
- What are the rules for making people believe in you?
- [Gabriel] There aren't any rules man.
- There must be some rules.
- I don't know, I guess you just show them
what you're really feeling inside.
- But suppose you show them what you're really
feeling inside and they don't really like it?
Now you're not concentrating.
- She took an overdose, my mom.
Paracetamol, took her like four days to die.
- My mom takes paracetamol sometimes.
- She was conscious for most of that time
but she wouldn't let me in to see her.
She wouldn't even say goodbye.
- Maybe she had too much on her plate as it is,
that's what my mom says.
Did you catch your mental illness from her?
- Yeah maybe, maybe that's it.
- What's it like?
- What losing my mother?
- No your mental illness.
- It's like on the days you're up anything can happen,
you're like Batman, nothing's impossible.
- That's more like Superman Batman doesn't have
any actual powers.
- Yeah Superman then, and then on the next day
it's the total opposite.
Nothing can happen, everything's impossible,
you feel hopeless.
- But luckily you're taking your medication now
so you feel better.
- You know what I don't feel better man.
Just feel more and a lot of what I feel is sad
and angry and ashamed and scared.
- So just the normal emotions humans
are supposed to have.
(gentle guitar music)
It's my birthday next Wednesday.
- Yeah I'd totally forgotten, you're turning 18, big day.
- Will you come to my birthday party?
Is at 5:30 at my moms.
- Your folks may not approve of me.
- I'll be a responsible adult then
so they can't tell me who to be friends with.
(Gabriel laughs)
(rhythmic drum beat)
- Hi.
- I thought you'd be in bed.
- No my sleep's all over the place man.
May as well practice as lie awake.
Were you working late?
- Yeah, yeah there was a problem that came up,
sorted now, storm in a teacup.
- Brought your bass with yah?
- Yeah, yeah I had to get a bit of work done on it.
The action was a bit out,
I'm just gonna take this to my room.
- Nah man, stay and have your beer.
I don't miss it honestly.
- You must be bored, off the spliff and the booze,
stay in every night.
- Well actually I'm out tomorrow night,
well tea time, it's Christopher's birthday party.
- Ah you don't have to do that mate.
Can't you make an excuse.
- Nah, nah I wanna go.
- Well, you kids have fun.
(laughs)
- Hi. - Hey.
- We were all waiting for you.
- Yeah he's always been terrible at keeping time.
- Well you're just in time for tea.
Sausages, plain pasta with butter and broccoli,
all nicely separated.
- Hello you, Pearse told me there's
a practice session tonight.
- Yeah well he was winding you up.
There was never a practice session tonight,
besides you have a boyfriend now right.
- Are you jealous?
- So I believe you two know each other through the music.
- Yeah. - Not really.
Anyway, happy birthday man.
It's just a small thing.
- Cool that's what all the crew guys use.
- I'd say you know all about that.
- Sorry?
- Don't mind me, I'm only teasing.
- It's not nice to tease Jeremy.
- What line of work are you in then?
- How do you mean?
- Well you're hardly making a living
from drumming are yah?
- We're doing alright actually,
and my mom left me some money.
- Well that's not gonna last forever is it.
- Leave him alone Jeremy, you were young once.
- I always made my own way.
- Yeah doing what?
- Doing whatever it took to put food on the table son.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Christopher ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
(cheering and applauding)
- We'd better be getting his nibs back to the unit.
We're supposed to be at the club at seven o'clock.
- What's the unit?
- Can you not let him finish his cake for God sake Jeremy.
- I'm just saying we don't wanna be late.
- Mom, when can we start bringing my stuff back here?
There's quite a lot.
- I'm going up to get changed.
- Mom.
- We'll wait and see love.
- Well we might need Jeremy's car.
- Your stepdad has a lot of work on at the moment,
please don't bother him now.
- Okay, when can I bother him?
- For goodness sake.
We're having a nice time, can we not just enjoy the moment.
- I, I have to go.
- Oh really.
- Yeah.
Hey listen mate, let's practice penalties this week okay
for as long as you want.
- Okay. - Okay, alright.
Happy birthday man.
- Thanks.
- [Mom] I'll see you out Gabriel,
thanks a million for coming.
- You can't do this to him.
- I beg your pardon.
- You're never gonna let him move back in here are yah?
- I think I know what's best for my own son.
There's a very good adult unit at St David's
and they've agreed to take him.
He'll be very happy there.
- He's been living for this day, alright.
When were you gonna tell him?
- You don't have a child do yah?
So you're not gonna understand.
But if ever you do believe me,
the one thing you'll want more then anything else
is for them to find someone else in the world
who loves them as much as you do.
When you know that that's never gonna happen.
- You give up on them.
- You toughen up, you have to.
- He's my friend.
- Whatever that means to you.
(somber piano music)
- I thought you were out tonight?
- Left early, where you going?
- Just out, I've gotta run.
(tense piano music)
(loud drumming) ♪ You're lucky you're loaded ♪
♪ Bullets exploding ♪
♪ Blood is flowing ♪
♪ Baby I know it ♪
(music stops)
- I told them that we should tell yah.
- What do you want to replace me?
- It's the management guy, he thinks the drums
need more life.
- Yeah what do you think?
- You don't play like you used to.
- That's ridiculous, alright I'm more together now
then I've ever been.
You wanted me to get straight remember.
You both did.
- We just wanted you to be more workable with,
you were out of control.
- And now?
- Now you're too in control.
You've lost something, I'm sorry man.
- Yeah well I can get it back,
I can get it back easy alright,
you just need to give me a chance.
- It's not up to me.
- I'll prove it to yah, I just need a couple of weeks,
a week.
(door slams)
(somber guitar music)
(rhythmic drum beat)
- I thought you didn't have any shows until next month.
Are you rehearsing today because Gabriel's
supposed to be practicing penalties with me.
I'm always free.
- You sure about this?
- Yeah why not, I mean he knows the gear
and it's the biggest show of our lives.
- Yeah but they're kind of friends though.
Him and Gabriel.
- I don't think there's much future in that friendship.
(rhythmic drum beat)
(door slams)
(tense music)
- Crews here, exactly like you did last time yeah.
- Yeah.
- Christopher this is Joey,
he'll be playing with us this evening.
- Playing what?
- Drums, Joey, Christopher here has you all set up.
- Thanks man, sweet.
- Gabriel plays your drums.
- Yeah but it will be Joey from now on.
But don't worry we still want you to crew for us.
[Toss] You're great at this man, plus we'll be paying yah.
100 a show, more soon with any luck.
- But Gabriel's my friend.
- We're your friends too.
- Not as much as he is.
Oh you were only joking.
- You, so you knew as well.
You didn't even give me a chance to prove myself.
- You've had your chance.
- What he told you I was on medication.
- We all know you're on medication.
I don't give a shit if you're on heroin or lithium
or your vitamins or horse tranquilizers.
I don't give a shit if you're stark raving mad
as long as you're the right type of mad for this band,
and you're not.
You never will be.
You're done man.
- Is that my kit up on stage?
- It's band property.
- And you set it up for him?
You don't mind if I sound check then do yah?
For old times sake.
(rhythmic drum beat)
Thank you and good night.
- That was pretty intense.
- Why are you kissing her?
- Because it's meant to be.
- We're friends, you're not supposed to kiss my girlfriend.
- How retarded are you?
We were never friends, and by the way
because you completely missed the point
your mom's never gonna let you back into her house.
- Yes she is, in a few weeks.
- No she's not, not ever.
And you know what, she's right.
When you get too old for St Cosmas
she's just gonna ship you off to some other dump
for grown up freaks. You're never moving home.
- You shouldn't say that, not even as a joke,
it's not a good joke.
- A joke.
I'll show you how serious I really am.
You coming?
- What is this place?
- Do you have a light?
Wait here.
(suspenseful electronic music)
(camera clicks)
(fire alarm blaring)
- Jesus, where were you?
- Drive.
Drive.
(upbeat rock music)
- Why do you want to go to Nevo's house?
(doorbell ringing)
Is she really gonna hire you?
- She's come to see me play like seven times,
what do you think?
- Are you sure this is even her house?
- I can see a light on.
(police siren wailing)
- I'm going.
- So go.
I don't need yah.
- [Roly] Eric, Eric we have a big problem.
- We know Roly.
- No not this, another one, they've abolished us.
- Sorry.
- There won't be any Asperger's syndrome anymore,
we'll all just be autistic.
- Says who?
- The American Psychiatric Association.
- It was just a label Roly.
- It was our label and they've abolished it.
- Well it's the way of the world I'm afraid.
- [Roly] Then the world isn't fair.
- Roly this really isn't the moment.
Christopher.
♪ Will you know ♪
- Breath in and out
♪ When it's over ♪
♪ Will you know ♪
♪ If you've got no destination ♪
♪ And it's real sophistication ♪
(sobbing)
♪ Do you go ♪
♪ When I'm older I will come home ♪
♪ And shoulder you on my own ♪
♪ But I have some reservations ♪
- [Gabriel] It's been two months.
- You had a very extreme episode.
Far better this than jail, or God forbid.
- [Gabriel] At least with jail I'd have a release day.
- Look the logic here is clear,
in the absence of a family member
or any other responsible person willing
to oversee your treatment you need to stay
in an inpatient setting.
Do keep reaching out to people, build bridges,
makes amends.
- From in here, how?
- You could try writing letters.
(gentle guitar music)
- [Gabriel] Dear Alice,
I'm sorry for all the trouble and pain I've caused you.
I hope some day you feel able to give me one more chance.
Dear Toss, sorry about messing everything up for you,
and for Pearse, I hope the new drummer is working out.
To whom it may concern I want to apologize
for setting myself on fire on your wall.
I've mistaken your home for somebody else's,
not that that excuses my behavior.
Dear Christopher.
- I've got a treat for you.
- A letter?
- And the doctor said you can have this back
once you follow the rules.
- Thanks.
(somber piano music)
- So no more nasty stomach cramps.
- Gone, I feel good.
I still haven't heard back from my sister,
or anybody else that I've written too.
- I'm afraid people do move on.
- It's just I've done everything that I've been asked to do.
- I think you're doing fantastically
but it's not up to me as you know.
- The tribunal would take your views onboard.
- Persevere with your sister, I really think
that's the best course.
There is one teeny thing that's raising some concern,
this new hobby of yours, and what it's costing you.
All these deliveries.
- It's my money.
- Of course it is, it's just with your previous history
of destroying and discarding things important to you.
- No look it's nothing like that I swear.
- Okay, no panic.
Seeing as you're doing so well we won't make
a big fuss about this.
- Thank you.
- For now.
- Easy guys, there's enough for everyone.
- Do I have to be in goals again?
- We'll take turns Georgina.
- Do you know anything about this?
- Christopher.
It arrived today, in a delivery lorry.
- It's got a couple of little things wrong.
- Yeah we all do son.
(upbeat music)
- I accept your apology because that's what you do
when somebody says they're sorry, or shows you.
If they're your friend especially.
- I was the shittiest friend you could have possibly had.
- Just because you got mentally ill again.
I'm still at the unit like you said.
- Look I was being crazy and mean when I said that.
- You were right, my mom prefers living with Jeremy
in the house and just seeing me for visits.
Jeremy pays for me to live in St Cosmas,
and he'll pay for me to move to St David's in a few weeks
once the paperwork is organized.
- I miss our practices.
- I could bring a ball next time.
- I don't think football is allowed here,
but please come again anyway.
Nobody else does.
- I don't have many other things in common with you.
(laughs)
- Yeah well, that's the best thing about yah.
- I had an idea.
- An idea?
- Well Roly had it but he said we could use it
if we wanted to.
- What kind of idea?
- What do you think?
- I think you're out of your mind and Roly.
- That' the exact point we're not.
- [Gabriel] Have you shared this with Eric?
- Yes.
- [Gabriel] And he was happy about it?
- He was really happy.
(laughs)
- Look you haven't thought this through okay.
I mean for a start there's my sister,
what's she gonna say.
- Maybe nothing.
- Then there's your mom.
- Sweetheart, you know we couldn't agree
to anything like that.
- Wait, let me get this straight.
- Then there's Dr. Flahavan, you haven't met her have yah?
- Not yet.
- In over 20 years of psychiatric practice
that is the single most unusual thing
I've heard uttered in this room.
I mean have you any scientific basis
for this idea of yours.
- And that's all before we get to the tribunal.
I mean what chance do you think we have of persuading them?
- A good chance, this is a completely logical argument.
- [Gabriel] I don't think that logic
is gonna be enough here.
- Why not?
Here are the rules and this is why we come under them.
We have an answer to every single question they could ask.
- Yeah and they have total discretion.
They can turn us down even if we do answer
every question they ask.
- Suppose it did work, would it make you happy?
- Yeah, yeah it would make me happy.
Alright, I'm in.
Look whatever happens just coming up with this man,
just trying, you've already done a huge thing for me.
Biggest thing anyone's ever done.
- You just need to practice your speech.
- No, no, you do.
They're never gonna listen to me,
they might just listen to you.
- Everybody's good at some things and...
Everybody's good at some things and...
- [Female] This is an impressive piece of research
you've presented Christopher, and you're right.
There is no specific legal bar to someone
with high functioning autism such as yourself
seeking to have a patient released into their care.
And between the one off payment your step father
has agreed to make and your future residential
care costs for yourself, and what remains
of Gabriel's own inheritance your idea
is in principle economically viable.
- [Male] What I have to ask is, why?
Why would you do this for someone who let you down
so badly in the past?
- And more importantly how can we be sure
that your commitment here today can survive
whatever the future might bring?
(chair scraping)
- Everybody's good at some things
and not good at other things.
People always says that.
But what if the things you're good at
aren't the right things for you to have a proper life?
Well it doesn't ruin your life if you're not good
at LEGO or football, but if you're not good
at understanding people when they're not telling the truth
then you're not allowed to have a job,
or a house or a wife, which isn't fair
because you're not the one not telling the truth
but you're the one being punished.
Eric, you're invading my space.
- [Male] Christopher this meeting is about
Gabriel's situation, not your own.
- No it's just the same with him,
the things he's not good at means that the things
he is good at don't count.
It's like LEGO, where you lose one piece
and you can't finish your kit you're building
because of that one piece you're missing.
So you throw it away, it's a waste
because somebody else might easily have
that piece you're missing.
He's good at understanding people but he's not good
at staying in control.
I'm good at staying in control
but I'm not good at understanding people.
We each have a piece the other one is missing.
So if we could just have a chance,
if you could just give us a chance
to share those things instead of two wasted people
there could be none.
- Thank you Christopher.
(chair scraping)
Well I think we've heard everything we need to.
- Have they listened to me?
Have they listened to me I said?
- [Gabriel] No mate I don't think they have.
- [Christopher] Why not?
- Because I think that they just can't imagine
the idea of somebody with a developmental disorder.
- Neuro diverse is our new word.
- Neuro diverse person like you standing guardian
to a mentally ill person like me.
- Can I ask on what basis are you so confident
that such an arrangement could actually work?
- Confident.
(Laughs)
Here's the thing people don't tell you about this.
Once you go over the edge, once you know where it is,
how close it's always been, how it's always gonna be there
just one tiny wrong step away,
confidence isn't something that I've been having
much of lately about the future,
about playing the drums or holding down a job
or having a relationship, or my family
ever wanting to see me again.
I can't honestly say that I'm confident
about anything anymore.
But the one thing that I do know
is that if I ever screw up again,
and I probably will some time he is always gonna be there.
I mean he just won't go away.
And I'm not just confident about that okay, I'm sure.
- You really believe you deserve to be given this chance?
- No I don't,
but he deserves to be given this chance
and I'm lucky enough to be a part of it.
- You have to take them exactly like they are
in the container.
- I know.
- I set an alarm on your phone to remind you.
And you have three sessions of therapy,
Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 10, 11 and 10 again.
- Have you not got packing to do?
- I'll call you every morning to make sure you remember.
I packed last night.
- Okay, but if anything weird happens alright,
or if anybody's mean to you.
- I'm 18, I'll remember everything you said.
These are all the places we're going.
- Amsterdam, Brussels, Berlin.
That's further then I ever got.
(car horn blaring)
- That's them.
- Oh hey, are you gonna bring that?
- They like football and their manager said
maybe we can practice on days off.
- Yeah it's just you might not have time you know.
- Well I can practice in my head anyway.
- Okay.
Could be useful for a drum tech.
- Very useful.
- You're gonna do great man, have fun.
See you in three weeks alright.
- Two weeks and five days.
Enjoy your new job too.
(bright piano music)
- Looks good Glen.
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
Alright Roly.
- Don't distract me, I'm filling out my application
for Stamford.
- Stamford, wow man hope you get in.
- Well of course I'll get in.
- So just a few parents right?
- Plus supporters and donors, 40 tops.
- 40 Jesus.
- You've done brilliantly getting the guys together.
I mean they're almost listenable now.
(laughs) Only joking.
- Alright so guys we're gonna play this
right through to the end okay.
We're gonna start and finish together alright.
Okay.
♪ I did not lose my voice ♪
♪ I hid it where they could not laugh at it ♪
♪ For good or ill ♪
♪ Hid it until you spoke to me ♪
♪ I'm learning now ♪
♪ I'm learning quick ♪
♪ To use this voice to sing with it ♪
♪ To amplify, to tell you why ♪
♪ And how you are like me ♪
♪ How you are like me ♪
♪ Me ♪
♪ And how ♪
♪ I'm like you ♪
♪ I am like you ♪
(cheering and applauding)
(bright music)
♪ Survivor scatters ♪
♪ And the seabird sings ♪
♪ So what should we fear ♪
- Good job.
♪ What trouble brings ♪
♪ What were we hoping ♪
♪ To get out of this ♪
♪ Some kind of momentary bliss ♪
♪ We waited for something ♪
♪ Something died ♪
♪ So I waited for nothing ♪
♪ And nothing arrived ♪
♪ It's our dearest ally ♪
♪ It's our closest friend ♪
♪ It's our darkest blackout ♪
♪ It's our final end ♪
♪ But here's sweet nothing ♪
♪ Let's start a new ♪
♪ From here on it's just me and you ♪
♪ I waited for something ♪
♪ And something died ♪
♪ So I waited for nothing ♪
♪ And nothing arrived ♪
♪ Well I guess it's over ♪
♪ I guess it's become ♪
♪ It's a losers table ♪
♪ But we've already won ♪
♪ It's a funny battle ♪
♪ It's a constant game ♪
♪ I guess I was busy ♪
♪ Wander nights in slippers and rain ♪
♪ You don't know these streets, ♪
♪ Don't know your own name ♪
♪ CCTV shows angry and gray ♪
♪ Where's that little girl looking for a friend to stay ♪
♪ Baby baby ♪
♪ All I see is who you grew into ♪
♪ But baby, baby ♪
♪ Through your crazy days I still see you ♪
♪ Just as a child ♪
♪ So hard to care ♪
♪ To find who's hiding in there ♪
♪ But I am gonna dive ♪
♪ Dive, dive down past your shifting shame ♪
♪ But I'm gonna dive ♪
♪ Dive, dive down past your losing game ♪
♪ I'm gonna dive ♪
♪ Dive, through back to where you were clear ♪
♪ And new born. ♪
♪ Baby, baby ♪
♪ All I see is who you grew into ♪
♪ But baby, my baby ♪
♪ I still see right through when I see you ♪
♪ I see my child ♪
♪ Lying still on your hospital bed ♪
♪ You're not speaking loud but I hear what you said ♪