1 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:14,431 She has always found a way to hurt you, Nick. 2 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:19,644 You wrote her a heartfelt melody, and she rejected you quick. 3 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,188 -Maybe you were just a joke… 4 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:25,025 …and Judd was always her pick. 5 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,735 -She humiliated you 6 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,737 -worse than when everyone saw… -Ahh! 7 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,614 -…your tiny little dick. 8 00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:35,160 -Huh? -You're having a nightmare about me? 9 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,954 -So pathetic. -Ew. I'm stuck! What is this? 10 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:41,082 You're standing in the middle of the road like an idiot! 11 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,793 -What the fuck? Jessi? 12 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:47,922 -Glazer… 13 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,799 -Walter? 14 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,634 Walter? What happened to you, man? 15 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,219 Jessi did this to me. 16 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,930 I was a gorgeous butterfly, 17 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,558 and she turned me into this horrid worm! 18 00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,477 Yeah, because she's a goddamn nightmare. 19 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,146 You hate her. Don't you, Nick? 20 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,899 I wish she'd get really bad diarrhea and then vanish. 21 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:09,611 Zip-zap, she treats you like crap. 22 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:12,489 We want her to take a permanent dirt nap. 23 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,450 Oh, man, this is gonna be a scary episode. 24 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,243 I hope I don't spill my popcorn. 25 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,495 A-booga-booga-booga, bitch! 26 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,829 My popcorn! 27 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,200 -Cheater, cheater, pussy eater! -Ew! 28 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,536 Save some snatch for the rest of us! 29 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,163 Dang, Missy, your rumor worked! 30 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,541 The whole school's going medieval on Ali and Jessi. 31 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,377 If V is for "Vendetta", then M is for 32 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:11,131 "Motherflippers shouldn't have stolen my affinity group!" 33 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,049 Die from shame, you heathen scum! 34 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,342 -Ow! 35 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,555 Firefly, what's so funny on your cellular device? 36 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:22,475 Oh, uh, nothing much. Just looking at Instagram. 37 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:23,434 Lie to 'em, girl! 38 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:27,355 Ooh! Say it's a new Internet challenge where people draw eyes on their balls, 39 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,607 then smush their dicks down between their balls 40 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,734 so their genitals look like Squidward! 41 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,237 -Share some of those giggles, Don Rickles. 42 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,780 Um, it's just a meme 43 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,950 where SpongeBob is wiping the counter with a tiny version of himself. 44 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,703 Well, that's clever because he's a sponge! 45 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:44,539 Now, c'mon, girl. Let's refresh the comments every 30 seconds. 46 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:47,375 -Give me some. -Blue Cross Blue Shield just followed me. 47 00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:48,710 Get into it, influencer! 48 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,963 Look, I know you guys thought Charles Lu was awesome… 49 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:57,468 He gets that magic is the perfect storm of art, science and sex. 50 00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:01,347 See, the problem was I wanted him to swallow me whole like a pelican, 51 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,724 but in the end, 52 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:07,353 he wanted to wet-shit me out all over the pier like a common seagull. 53 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,023 That's tragic, Jay. Like my life. 54 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:15,153 No! It helped me realize that I have a boner for intimacy, 55 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:18,698 and the only one who can jack my heart off is Lola Skumpy. 56 00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:20,408 But how will you win her back? 57 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:23,328 Money? Jewels? A romantic indie rock song? 58 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:27,123 Guys, I think it might be time to perform the ultimate magic trick. 59 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,710 Sawing your finger in half, then having your cock double in size, 60 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,545 but now your cock has a fingernail? 61 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,964 Todd, that's an amazing trick, but no. 62 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,925 I'm gonna admit that I was wrong. 63 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:40,261 I wish you the most sensual of fortunes, Jay. 64 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,346 Thank you, Paul. 65 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,556 And I hope that pawn shop gives you good money 66 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,475 for your missing daughter's ukulele. 67 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,893 Ah, another goddamn day. 68 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:49,562 -Hey. -Jesus, Nick, you don't look so good. 69 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,648 Did you drink too much water before bed 70 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,192 and you stayed up all night pissing with a big water belly? 71 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,527 -Jessi's such a bitch! -Whoa! Nick! 72 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,906 What? She knew Ali had a girlfriend and then she fucking teased me. 73 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,575 -Fucking bitch. -Oh, Nick, man, that's just a rumor. 74 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:07,038 It's just a sexy, girl-on-girl, jailhouse rumor. 75 00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:11,167 No, it's not sexy! Jessi is trash. And if you don't see that, then fuck off! 76 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,170 What a little asshole. Let's curb stomp his fat mouth! 77 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,714 No, I'm taking the high road now, okay? 78 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:20,176 Oh, God, you're still doing that "Tender Andrew" thing? 79 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,096 I am, and the view up here is pretty nice. 80 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:26,808 You can look down girls' shirts and see their sternum! 81 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,309 Ah, yes, the sternum. 82 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:32,438 The jail of the heart, but the foundation for them titties. 83 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,357 -Good morning! 84 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,566 Our top story today, 85 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,569 Ms. Benitez got dropped off at school by her new boyfriend, 86 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,905 and he's got a ponytail. 87 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:44,617 But first, I had a quick conversation with the victims of a vicious rumor. 88 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:47,203 Jessi, Ali, how are you gals holding up? 89 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,454 Well, thank you for asking. 90 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,791 I have to say, this whole situation sucks and is unfair! 91 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,584 And I didn't cheat on Samira. 92 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,086 Jessi is-is just a friend. 93 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:58,756 -There is no water in my mug. -Water is for guests, Caleb. 94 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:03,052 Now, Jessi, if Dr. PlainTalk were watching right now from the medical facility 95 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,680 where they practice gossip, what would you say to them? 96 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:09,809 I would say I don't know why you're trying to besmirch our reputations, 97 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:12,687 but all you're really doing is making our friendship stronger. 98 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,315 And if I find you, you little fucker, 99 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,192 I'm gonna twist your nipples off, wear them as earrings, 100 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:22,655 and everyone's gonna be like, "Ooh la la, Ali, who are you wearing?" 101 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,699 "Oh, these? Just some little fucker!" 102 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,493 "Little fucker"? Oh, hell no! You a big fucker. 103 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,495 That's right! I fuck big! 104 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,080 Jessi's so full of shit. 105 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,751 "Oh, I don't like you. Oh, look at my red hair. Nyuh!" 106 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,878 Yeah, Jessi is full of shit, actually. 107 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,921 Did you hear the way she said "besmirched"? 108 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,257 It's like, we get it. Your parents are divorced. 109 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,469 You're filling a void with vocabulary words. Congrats. 110 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:47,597 Yeah, that's totally what's happening there. And it's sad! 111 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,141 Ha-ha! This girl is on fire! 112 00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:52,226 Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Rochelle. 113 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:55,730 Rochelle, it's me, Walter Las Palmas. 114 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:58,941 Oh, shit! Walter! You look amazing now! 115 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,235 -How'd you turn into such a bad bitch? -Do you like? 116 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,237 I've been on this hate diet all week. 117 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,406 I just eat cookies and talk shit. 118 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,200 Before, you were so annoying being all nice. 119 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,118 -I agree. -Now you look like wet garbage 120 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,703 'cause you got some hate in your life. 121 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,246 I'mma cry. Thank you so much. 122 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,583 What I tell you? Let the love go and let the hate overflow. 123 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:19,712 Wow! It's really sweet to see Nick and Missy reconnecting. 124 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,506 This is a nice episode. 125 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,384 You have a dead onion in your skull, you know that? 126 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,970 And you, you at home, you're laughing at this block of wood? 127 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,722 You're all complicit. 128 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:34,435 That's right, I'm a bad fucking mitten, and this is the hate episode. 129 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:37,438 Now eat this fucking light bulb, you ass fuck. 130 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:38,523 Okay! 131 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,400 Oh! 132 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,318 -It's giving me an idea. 133 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,113 I think I'm gonna poop blood later. 134 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,782 All right, does anyone have any questions? 135 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,867 -That aren't about my boyfriend 136 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,285 -with the ponytail. 137 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,914 Excuse me, I have a delivery for a Lola Skumpy. 138 00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:58,501 Someone sent her a 40-year-old jacked magician. 139 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,086 Mmm, I'll let this play out. 140 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,003 You know what? 141 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,381 I also would like to see where this is going. 142 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,425 -Lola Ugfuglio Skumpy. -What? 143 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:09,470 I was wrong about everything, and I owe you an apology. 144 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,513 Listening. 145 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,682 -See, I want to give you my heart. -Hmm. 146 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:16,644 The only problem is it's stuck inside of my guts. 147 00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,354 -Todd, if you will. -Mm-hmm. 148 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,110 -That's actually, like, very sweet. 149 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,655 Ha-ha! I live! 150 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,740 My death may have been fake, Lola, 151 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,368 but the pain of being apart from you is… 152 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:34,787 very real. 153 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,372 Come back to me, my queen. 154 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:41,502 I yearn to taste the earth from your feet. How else will I know where you've been? 155 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,463 But how do I know I can trust you? 156 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,381 For I've been burned before. 157 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,509 Mainly from eating Totino's Pizza Blasts from the microwave 158 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:51,095 while they're still, like, very much in the microwave. 159 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,347 Ooh, your lack of impulse control is so hot. 160 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,183 Oh my God, we should move in together! 161 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,310 -I was thinking the exact same thing! -Really? 162 00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,561 Uh, yeah! 163 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:02,148 Ms. Benitez, if you will kindly unroll your cigarette, please. 164 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,610 -"Lola plus Jay equals house." 165 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,320 Oh, my God, Jay! 166 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:11,824 -I will totally house with you! -I can't believe this is happening! 167 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,619 Oh, my God, Jay, you thought of everything! 168 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,787 And you know what? I know just the place. 169 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:19,957 Okay, but it has to be two bedrooms because I need a home office. 170 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:24,545 My Etsy shop for unlicensed Hamilton merch is, like, blowing up. 171 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,091 -I don't like this! 172 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,801 Yeah. Everybody's staring at us. 173 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:35,139 And not in a sexy way, like when you walk up to Seann William Scott and say, 174 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:38,935 "Excuse me, did you, Seann William, drop this?" 175 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,145 And Sean looks down, and you're holding his dick. 176 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,774 Mmm, no, Connie, it's not like any of what you just said. 177 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,693 Guys. I heard Ali spread Jessi's boobs so far, 178 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,112 -her areolas touched in the back. Boop! 179 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,739 Get the fuck out of here, Lars! 180 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:54,408 When I get my hands on whoever started this rumor, 181 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,077 it's gonna be titty-twist city! 182 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,120 -I have a tingle in my tummy 183 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,915 telling me a slimy little fucker is behind this. 184 00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:03,626 -Yeah, I'm starting to feel that same 185 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,586 "slimy little fucker" tingle. 186 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,463 I have a tingle in my tummy too! 187 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,633 I put a remote control vibrator in my vagina. 188 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,677 I bet you can't guess who's controlling it. 189 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,803 Seann William Scott? 190 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,304 No, it's Jason Biggs. 191 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:19,350 I asked him to give it to Seann William, and he kept it for himself. 192 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,353 I would like to propose a toast to Dr. PlainTalk. 193 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,605 Whoever that guy is, he is a genius. 194 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,482 Tell him it's you, Missy. Get that glory! 195 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:31,445 Well, let me bust up your gender norms, because that guy is a girl! 196 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:34,782 -What? -And that girl is Missy, and Missy is me! 197 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:35,825 I'm confused. 198 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,201 I'm Dr. PlainTalk. 199 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:40,121 I started the rumor. I made it up from my brain. 200 00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:42,081 I'm a fucking maniac! 201 00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,208 Holy shit. You? Missy? 202 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,336 Ms. Missy if you're nasty. Uh, which I am. 203 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,046 -Yes, honey! -Come on, Miss Nasty! 204 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,381 Nick and Missy? 205 00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,925 Yeah, it's, uh… It's kind of weird, right? 206 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,136 You do know that according to the bro code, 207 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:58,014 you'd be well within your rights to pull his tongue so hard 208 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,474 that his asshole comes out of his fucking mouth. 209 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,102 And while that may be a fun visual for everyone, 210 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:05,229 for all we know, they're just having a friendly lunch. 211 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,481 Well, I'm still gonna do that tongue thing to Rick. 212 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:08,482 What tongue thing? 213 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,946 -Uh-oh, I'm made of SpaghettiOs! 214 00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:18,284 -Hey! Gentle with my castle, you idiot! 215 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,662 And you, put that Gronk Bobble-Butt on my nightstand. 216 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:25,416 He's got that Gronk-a-donk that makes my Lola lumps plump! 217 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,084 What the fuck, Jay? 218 00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:30,713 -You're back? And who's this girl? -Who's this fucking genie? 219 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,090 I'm not a genie. I'm a ghost! 220 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:39,430 Well, if you're Duke Ellington, then I'm Queen Shit, so smell my ass! 221 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,223 Ooh, isn't she the best? 222 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,100 And wait till you peep her feet. 223 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,227 -Hey, man, I get it. 224 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,779 Zip it! None of your boring music, you dead dud. 225 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:58,115 Only Anna Kendrick's "Cups" is allowed in my house! 226 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:01,077 Sweet Lord, please kill me again. 227 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,081 Attention! Attention, everyone. 228 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,792 In an obvious effort to steal Lola's thunder, 229 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:12,004 Devon and I have also decided to repair our relationship. 230 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,715 Of course Devon went back to her like a little bitch. 231 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,259 Yeah, those two are really perfect for each other. 232 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,595 Mazel Tov to Mr. and Mrs. Who Cares! 233 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,263 Sweetie, we care. 234 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:25,810 You wanted to kiss Devon's pee-pee with your vee-vee. Or your lippies. 235 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,979 Dude… …I had one crazy rager with the boys, 236 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,440 and realized I am too old for the street life, man. 237 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,609 Devon, nobody cares about your thought process. 238 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,195 Good to be back, babe. This is the structure I crave. 239 00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:39,323 You know what I crave? Devon getting diarrhea and vanishing. 240 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,491 Oh, my God. Yes! 241 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:44,328 And then Devin slips on the diarrhea, and she's like, "Ooh! Whoa! Whaa!" 242 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:47,540 And then she breaks her neck. I love that! 243 00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:51,335 Damn! You wicked worm! 244 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:54,213 Hating with you is, like, uh, the most fun! 245 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,464 Right back at you, boo! 246 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,842 Missy, I feel like we're the only ones who get-- 247 00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:00,261 Like, how stupid and lame everyone is? 248 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:01,846 Yes! Exactly! 249 00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,014 -Fuck yeah! 250 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:08,954 Just say, "Fuck it!" 251 00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:11,707 You all can suck it! 252 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,091 Whoa, look at you! 253 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,092 Right? 254 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:25,137 I feel thick in all the right places. 255 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,932 Your hate nourishes me, Nick! 256 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:29,225 Holy shit, Missy. 257 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:31,769 Nick looks so hot with his Sid Vicious hair. 258 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,896 Let's attach a leash to that spiked collar 259 00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,190 and hide a pill for him in some peanut butter! 260 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:39,485 No, Mona, we're not being horny, we're being hateful. 261 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:40,569 Can't we be both? 262 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,155 Hey, when I want a slut's opinion, I'll ask for it. 263 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,366 Why don't you go get lost and play cricket or some shit. 264 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:46,992 Is that how you feel, Missy? 265 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,035 Slut says what? 266 00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:49,662 Well, fuck you, then! 267 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,665 Bye, ho! We don't need that walking Daily Mail article. 268 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,750 -We already have the perfect crew. -Damn right! 269 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,085 I hope she ODs! 270 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,336 And then pulls through, 271 00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:00,756 taking the recovery time to work on herself. Ahh! Bitch! 272 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,884 Okay. Potential Dr. PlainTalk suspects. 273 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:07,054 Devin LeSeven, Rabbi Paulblart's adult son Leore… 274 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,723 Honestly, I think it might have been Nick. 275 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,016 Of course! 276 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,227 He's probably pissed because you told the whole school 277 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,312 he makes your pussy want to sew itself shut. 278 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,314 Okay, that is not what I said. 279 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,357 It's what I heard. 280 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:23,028 If Nick did this, I will never be able to forgive him. 281 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:25,739 -I--I will just-- -You'll hate his fucking guts? 282 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,449 Well, that seems a tad harsh. 283 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,577 Maybe, maybe not. 284 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,036 Do you wish ill on Nick? 285 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,038 Do you want him dead like a doornail? 286 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,832 -I don't know! 287 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,709 -Jessi, help! -Nick? 288 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,336 So you gonna flatten the little shit or what? 289 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:43,048 Yeah, you gonna be a bitch and run me over like a bitch, you bitch? 290 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,301 Dude, what is your problem? 291 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,969 Do you want me to hit you? 292 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,596 Seems like he does. 293 00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,308 -No! 294 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:57,479 Ugh! Nick is being such a dick right now, but I guess I don't want him to die. 295 00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,065 Huh, so you don't completely hate him. 296 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,317 Yeah, that seems to be… 297 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,235 -What's going on? 298 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,780 -Connie, what's happening? -Whoo! Jason Biggs just made me cum. 299 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:09,366 Yeah, I'm--I'm never gonna get used to saying that. 300 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,411 Alright, just gonna hang out at Nick's house like normal. 301 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,163 Or you could burn the house down. 302 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,915 Might not even mention how weird it was 303 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,708 that he and Missy were having lunch together. 304 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:22,087 Or you could mention it while you're pissing on his tiny, charred corpse. 305 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,256 No, no, I'm just gonna say hi. Okay? 306 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,717 -I'm just gonna… Whoa, Nick! -Hey, Andrew. Shut the door. 307 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,386 Darrell, get out of here, man. It's scary! 308 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,305 What the hell are you two doing in here? 309 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,725 -If you're having sex, I hope it's safe! -No, it's not like that, Andrew. 310 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:36,852 We're shitting all over Jessi's bitch face. 311 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,021 Check it out, I photoshopped her mugshot. 312 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,523 Ooh, send me that. I'll post it on Dr. PlainTalk. 313 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,525 Whoa! You're Dr. PlainTalk? 314 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,153 Oh, the doctor is a woman! 315 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,490 She must be a gynecologist. This was a good riddle. 316 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:52,159 Missy, I never figured you for a troll. 317 00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:54,870 I'd get off your high horse if I were you, Fart Boy. 318 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,331 You're the poster child for yucky behavior. 319 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,917 Yeah, but nobody wants to touch the poster because it's covered-- 320 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,461 "Covered in my jizz." I know that line. 321 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,838 We're all having fun at ol' Andrew's expense. 322 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,924 Well, that's what the show is, dumb ass. 323 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:09,927 Hey, hey! Don't you dare undercut what we're doing here. 324 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:14,932 This show is middle-aged people playing masturbating children with big feelings! 325 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,600 And they get their periods! 326 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,394 Wait, Maury, have we done a queefing episode? 327 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,479 No, there's no queefing episode. I keep pitching it. 328 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:21,438 -It'd be funny. -Right? 329 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:25,317 Well, this big, fat masturbator and his big feelings are hurt right now. 330 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,236 So, what are you gonna do, cry about it? 331 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,029 Oh, are you a crybaby? 332 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:33,200 You know what, "friends" in quotes? Being here is bad for my anger sobriety. 333 00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:36,662 Well, good! Don't let the door hit your lumpy butt on the way out. 334 00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:40,582 Okay! Well, now I know you're just jealous because I've got cheeks for weeks, 335 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,460 and you both just have flat kid ass. 336 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,798 Hey, babe, Steve's gonna pop by for a drink before dinner. Is that cool? 337 00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:51,343 Oh, that's great. I'll start heating up some almond milk on the radiator. 338 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,261 Hey. 339 00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:55,347 What was that for, you stinky stud? 340 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,766 I love you, Lola Ugfuglio Skumpy. 341 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:02,938 Well, for peak's sake, I love you, Jayzerian RicFlairian Bilzerian. 342 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,357 Oh, my God. You said it! You love me? 343 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,692 Like, duh! 344 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:07,609 Whoo! 345 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,529 Jay is loved! Jay is loved! 346 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,364 My dad was wrong. 347 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,576 We're in such, like, a healthy place right now, Jay. 348 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,662 I agree. Coming home to a woman who loves me, 349 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,123 stealing dinners from the Birch's kitchen… 350 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:25,377 This is exactly what I was missing when I was deep-tonguing down with Charles Lu. 351 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,422 Hold on. Pause. Play that back one more time! 352 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:30,924 No, no, it's cool. It happened after we broke up. 353 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,676 Charles Lu? 354 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,513 In fact, sucking on his mouth snake is what made me realize 355 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,891 how much I missed your mouth snake. 356 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:42,269 So what do you say we pay a visit to the reptile house? 357 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,230 I'll fucking kill you, Jay! 358 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:48,317 -What's going on upstairs? 359 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,360 Oh, Jay and his girlfriend moved into the attic. 360 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,278 -What? -Oh, yeah. 361 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:55,115 I said it was okay because any girlfriend of Jay's is a daughter of mine. 362 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,910 -I'll tear your face from your skull! 363 00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:01,080 Jesus, babe, are you mad because Charles is a guy? 364 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,624 -What is this? -How dare you insinuate that! 365 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:06,251 I am nothing if not a future gay icon. 366 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:07,753 My pubes are even gay! 367 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:11,715 -Uh, we're just British, Your Majesty. -We've explained this several times. 368 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,885 I'm upset because you were supposed to be mourning me, 369 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,930 but instead you were scorning me! 370 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:21,433 So you're saying you wouldn't have made out with the hottest guy in school 371 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,684 if it was offered to you? 372 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:26,230 How dare you speak of someone else's hotness in front of me! 373 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,023 I'm taking back my "I love you"! 374 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,900 Stop quoting my dad's wedding vows! 375 00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:33,737 I will not, and I want you out of our humble abode! 376 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:38,867 Oh, you can't throw me out because, baby, I'm outta here! 377 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,870 Charles Lu might not have given me the intimacy I ache for, 378 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,374 but at least he wasn't a fucking psycho! 379 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,835 I am not a psycho! 380 00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:52,589 With my gay pubes as my witness, I will get my vengeance, Jay! 381 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,425 We're not gay, Your Majesty, we're just British! 382 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,635 What's the difference? 383 00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,388 Hey, fat tits! 384 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,265 Oh, God! Okay! 385 00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,768 Whatever you do, I want you to be as rough as possible. 386 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:08,647 There are no limits. And my safe word is "Mama's calzone." 387 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:12,151 Ew, gross! Now where's your little fucker of a friend? 388 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,610 He owes me nipples! 389 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:14,528 What friend? Who? 390 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:17,281 Don't play dumb, dummy! We know Nick started the rumor. 391 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:19,032 Oh, no, Nick didn't start that rumor. 392 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:22,327 I know who did, though, but I'm so shy. 393 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:27,875 I can't disclose that information unless you make me almost pass out from pain. 394 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,334 -Oh, fuck! Yes. 395 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,712 Okay. Missy did it. She's Dr. PlainTalk. 396 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,422 -Oh, outrageous! 397 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,757 What? Missy started the rumor? 398 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,969 Oh, God, we knew Nick hated you, but Missy? 399 00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:40,679 Why would she hate me? 400 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,307 Missy hates you? I wonder who else hates you. 401 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,641 I don't-- I don't know. 402 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:48,395 Well, so far, we've got Nick, Michael Angelo, Cantor Dina, Tito, 403 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,898 Lizer, the cheese girl, the cheese baby! 404 00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,233 Why do all these people hate me? 405 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:57,654 -Is it possible you're a bad person? -Oh, he's got a point. 406 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,239 I've often worried about that! 407 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,240 Oh, God. 408 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:04,411 Probably best to just curl up and fall asleep for a week. 409 00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:08,165 -The world could use a break from you. -They'll be happy you're gone! 410 00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:11,960 -There's too many creatures in your head! -Yeah, this does seem like a lot. 411 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,295 Oh god, I can't breathe. 412 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,923 -Hey, honey, Jessi. You okay? 413 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,091 I don't know, are you? 414 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,636 I will be, once I fucking kill Missy! 415 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,931 -Oh, snap. Lola's up in my DMs. 416 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:27,184 It's an AirDrop, Lump, we all got it. And it's a video of Jay? 417 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,561 Here we go, ready? Coin… 418 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,104 No coin. 419 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:32,147 See? 420 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,776 Much like The Giving Tree, I'm positively stumped. 421 00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:38,570 -More like "Skumped"! -However does it work? 422 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,530 Babe. I can do the tricks for you, 423 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,075 but it's against the magician's code to tell you how to do it. 424 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:45,869 No, that's okay. I totally respect your code. 425 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,705 You know what? Fuck it. I trust you, Lola. 426 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,707 -Okay, here's how you do the trick. -No! 427 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,292 Fuck! No, no, no! 428 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,544 -Throw your phones out the window! -The secret is… 429 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:57,464 -I hide it in my ample foreskin. 430 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,217 -No! -See? 431 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,219 Lola! Why the fuck would you do that? 432 00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:05,472 Because I'm a psycho. Remember, Jay? 433 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:08,350 Yeah, but you can't be sending videos to people of Jay's dick. 434 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:09,476 I think that's a crime. 435 00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:11,603 I don't give a shit that everyone saw my dick! 436 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:15,023 That's right. The brilliance of my diabolical plan 437 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,527 is that I revealed how he does his stupid magic trick. 438 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,905 Oh, no, I broke the Magician's Code. 439 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,573 I'll be disgraced. 440 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:24,825 How could you do this? 441 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:27,494 You called me a name, so I ruined your life. 442 00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:29,871 Your move, David Copperfuck. 443 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,292 -I have no more moves. You've broken me. 444 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,710 You win, Lola. 445 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,253 The magic is gone. 446 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:39,298 Good. So, like, mission accomplished. 447 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,465 Go, Lola. 448 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:44,803 Oh, my God, did you see Jessi's purple fucking shirt today? 449 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:47,014 -She's such a tease. -Yeah. 450 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:49,308 Wait, what? Did you say "tease"? 451 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:52,436 Yeah, she's a total slut. She led me on and then rejected me. 452 00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:54,438 Jessi definitely sucks, 453 00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,566 but I don't know if she actually led you on. 454 00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,860 Oh, really? She touched my arm. 455 00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:02,904 Ooh! Okay. Well, let's unpack that, 456 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:06,074 because I'm not so sure that's a very fair thing to hate someone for. 457 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,869 Who is this one to tell us how to hate Jessi? 458 00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:12,664 She called me ugly in front of everyone after I professed my love! 459 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,083 -She said she wasn't attracted to you… -Ugh. 460 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:18,086 …after you, like, cornered her in front of the whole class. 461 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,255 -Whatever! -You basically pushed her to say it. 462 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,465 I was there, dude. 463 00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:22,466 Okay, "dude". 464 00:22:22,549 --> 00:22:24,217 What exactly did Jessi do to you? 465 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:27,095 Talk over you at some stupid affinity group meeting? 466 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:30,390 Ooh, see? I never fucked with that little Creamsicle Nick anyway. 467 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,476 -Uh, excuse you? 468 00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:34,936 Bitch! Jessi has been running all over my girl. 469 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,688 Y'all new to this hatin' Jessi shit. 470 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,690 It doesn't matter who hated Jessi first. 471 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:42,152 What matters is whose hateful flame burns the brightest. 472 00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:45,155 And, girl, I am a phoenix 473 00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:49,618 emerging from Wendy Williams' morning matcha. 474 00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:53,205 Do not let this little fuck minimize what she did to you. 475 00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,791 Jessi didn't just interrupt me, Nick. 476 00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:57,834 She stole my whole group from me. 477 00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,045 She's a jackal. She's a cracker jackal. 478 00:23:00,128 --> 00:23:04,549 Because you roofied everybody comatose with your boring-ass plans, you dork. 479 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:06,551 Well, a dork is a whale's penis, 480 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:10,305 and I would be proud to be any part of that noble creature. 481 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:11,890 Only a dork would know that! 482 00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:13,934 Wow, Jessi was right. 483 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:16,895 You are ugly inside and out. 484 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:19,815 No wonder she wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot dork! 485 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:23,235 -Hey, Dr. PlainTalk, your nips are mine! 486 00:23:23,318 --> 00:23:25,070 Yes, it's finally happening. 487 00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:26,655 -Boop, boop. 488 00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:29,616 -An altercation has started! 489 00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:34,663 Yes, yes, whoever wins gets me as a piss boy. 490 00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,082 And whoever loses gets to take a shit in his ass. 491 00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:38,583 -What? -Trust me, you want it. 492 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:39,543 Okay. Yeah. 493 00:23:39,626 --> 00:23:42,087 Fuck the high road! Poop in my butt hole! 494 00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:44,423 Take a bite of my Skechers, bitch! 495 00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:45,882 -Hiya! -Ah! 496 00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:49,219 -Whoa! -Missy, stop! Please. Somebody help! 497 00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:51,138 Shut up. Fuck you. Eat shit. 498 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:54,349 -Oh, my God. -You want some more, huh? Screw you! 499 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,226 And screw Jessi too! 500 00:23:56,309 --> 00:23:58,061 I hate you, Jessi! 501 00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:01,565 -I hate it here!  -Missy is fucking crazy, okay? 502 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:03,400 She ripped out my permanent retainer. 503 00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:06,653 I don't know what's going on with her. She's so different. 504 00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:08,196 That's hate, man. 505 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,032 It'll get inside you, bring you to your knees, 506 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:13,577 and make you say shit you never thought you'd say. 507 00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:15,996 Just like Jason Big-ig-ig-ig-ig-ig-igs! 508 00:24:16,079 --> 00:24:19,291 Oh, God, not again! 509 00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,297 What were you thinking, Lols? 510 00:24:25,380 --> 00:24:27,966 What you did was a child pornography. 511 00:24:28,049 --> 00:24:29,509 You're not my dad, Rodney! 512 00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:32,429 -You're just my mom's parole officer. -Hey! 513 00:24:32,512 --> 00:24:35,056 And it's so obvious that you're in love with her, 514 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,810 and FYI, she doesn't love anyone who loves her back. 515 00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,521 And that's not a lesson that I want to learn right now. 516 00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:43,356 Esteemed sorcerers, please! 517 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,902 You have to understand, I--I was betrayed by the woman I love! 518 00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:49,696 You chose the wand between your legs. 519 00:24:49,779 --> 00:24:52,574 And now you must relinquish your wand 520 00:24:52,657 --> 00:24:54,826 that's in your magician's JanSport. 521 00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,119 I understand. 522 00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:03,585 -Hi, Nicky. How was school? -How was staying home and being stupid? 523 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,837 Oh, shut up. Fuck you. Eat shit. 524 00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:08,048 Missy, I am at a loss. 525 00:25:08,131 --> 00:25:10,008 It wasn't my fault. Jessi started it! 526 00:25:10,091 --> 00:25:13,595 Enough! You're smoking marijuana, getting into fights at school, 527 00:25:13,678 --> 00:25:14,971 starting rumors? 528 00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:16,806 This isn't the little girl we raised. 529 00:25:16,890 --> 00:25:22,854 Well, you really have become a hateful, loathsome creature, haven't you, Missy? 530 00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:24,064 Maybe he's right. 531 00:25:24,147 --> 00:25:26,483 I've never gotten in trouble at school before. 532 00:25:26,566 --> 00:25:29,236 You're an embarrassment and a disgrace! 533 00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:30,862 -Oh! -Fuck that noise. 534 00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:33,281 -You a bad bitch for choking out Ali. -Really? 535 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,076 Hell yeah! You don't need that crusty old wizard, 536 00:25:36,159 --> 00:25:38,245 or your parents, or Nick, or anybody. 537 00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:39,329 You got me, baby. 538 00:25:39,412 --> 00:25:42,332 -Yeah, I do. 539 00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:44,626 -Well, Missy? 540 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,920 -What do you have to say for yourself? -Missy? 541 00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:50,340 I fucking hate you!