1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:09,135
‎NETFLIX 原創影集

2
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:10,803
‎（精盡人亡12月）

3
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:13,890
‎妳在做什麼？

4
00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,850
‎我要把舌頭練成舔鮑的形狀

5
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:19,270
‎這樣才能在愛莉
‎走進那扇門時幫她口交

6
00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:22,565
‎我只幻想過要親她

7
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:25,234
‎對，而且她們有很特別的友情

8
00:00:25,318 --> 00:00:26,444
‎我們可不想毀掉

9
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:27,653
‎別鬧了

10
00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:31,032
‎性愛才不會毀了友誼，那是迷思

11
00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:32,366
‎靠，她來了

12
00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:34,911
‎好戲上場，好好幫妳朋友舔一下

13
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,954
‎或是打個招呼就好

14
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,331
‎愛莉，妳好

15
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,875
‎潔西，自從上週慘到爆之後

16
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,086
‎我幫妳買了妳喜歡的星冰樂

17
00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:46,255
‎巧克力碎片、十下焦糖醬
‎不加咖啡、奶油特多

18
00:00:46,339 --> 00:00:48,049
‎天啊，妳好了解我

19
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:50,843
‎別這麼感動，小妞，我明明喝了一半

20
00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:53,471
‎兩位，愛莉居然記下來我的喜好

21
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,431
‎米開朗基羅連我的姓都不知道

22
00:00:55,515 --> 00:00:57,850
‎先別說了，她在脫衣服

23
00:00:57,934 --> 00:01:01,604
‎天啊，我該怎麼做？要看嗎？
‎該轉過頭嗎？怎樣才正常？

24
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,439
‎看吧，康妮，妳嚇壞她了

25
00:01:03,523 --> 00:01:06,400
‎那對乳房讓我驚呆了

26
00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:07,944
‎有人在嗎？地球呼叫潔西

27
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,321
‎妳說的對，“地球呼叫潔西”

28
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,533
‎我喜歡妳的星球，地球
‎比喜歡月球還多

29
00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:16,577
‎誰需要月球？
‎“休士頓，我們有星巴克了”

30
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:20,957
‎妳真好笑，快喝星冰樂
‎我畢生積蓄都花在這東西上了

31
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,626
‎這感覺確實有點不同

32
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,796
‎要命，我愛上我最好的朋友

33
00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:30,007
‎《康妮今夜口談秀》有更多精彩內容

34
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,343
‎歡迎收看《康妮今夜口談秀》

35
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:38,432
‎我們要在我的節目測試女同志的能耐

36
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,601
‎《康妮今夜口談秀》

37
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:19,849
‎兄弟，讓我說一下
‎我好愛當你的炮友

38
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:24,187
‎我可以一天到晚色心四起
‎卻不用負感情責任？

39
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,731
‎-都給我吧
‎-對，隨你怎麼說

40
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:31,527
‎而且不用有情感糾葛
‎讓我有更多自己的時間

41
00:02:31,611 --> 00:02:33,571
‎我有說過我想開餐廳嗎？

42
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,325
‎要賣小漢堡，不過大一點
‎尺寸就像漢堡那樣

43
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:39,452
‎你等下再出去
‎別讓別人看到我們一起離開

44
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:42,747
‎沒錯，炮友的生活挺好的

45
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,417
‎比被當人看好太多了

46
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,002
‎炮友狼

47
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,297
‎可惡，我不想進去

48
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,215
‎別這樣

49
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,717
‎我相信大家已經忘記潔西尖叫地說

50
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,011
‎她不想跟你約會，不喜歡你

51
00:02:57,094 --> 00:03:01,057
‎而且你絕對不可能讓她想入非非

52
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:03,226
‎你好像記得一清二楚

53
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:04,977
‎親愛的，我過目不忘

54
00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:07,605
‎好強，尼克，你回來上學了

55
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:11,025
‎就在潔西在大家面前
‎無情閹割你之後？

56
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,193
‎真可惡

57
00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:16,405
‎我親愛的伙伴們
‎我們要友善對待親愛的朋友尼克

58
00:03:16,489 --> 00:03:18,699
‎因為他的玻璃心碎了滿地

59
00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:20,534
‎你在做什麼？我不喜歡這樣

60
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:24,330
‎上週我敏感和善對待我爸
‎他差點就要抱我了

61
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,791
‎所以這是我新的個性，好好享受

62
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,459
‎他現在是溫柔的安德魯

63
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:32,964
‎敏感又可做愛
‎就像我的荷爾蒙朋友賽門性愛

64
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:35,341
‎-“賽門性愛”，他聽起來…
‎-很性感？

65
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,051
‎不是，我本來是要說這是假的

66
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:41,472
‎他是真的，而且很性感
‎不過同時也是很美麗的靈魂

67
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,475
‎我們的70年代
‎幾乎都在一起嗑迷幻蘑菇

68
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,769
‎在空曠地區自慰

69
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:49,230
‎尼克，要是你為了潔西的事而難過

70
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:51,649
‎你需要的是男孩之夜

71
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,734
‎這是我跟戴雯離童婚時做的事

72
00:03:53,818 --> 00:03:56,529
‎沒錯，真的，兄弟，我們接受心碎

73
00:03:56,612 --> 00:04:02,076
‎然後在衣櫃裡等20分鐘才離開

74
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,412
‎-對吧，查爾斯？
‎-對，隨你怎麼說

75
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:05,997
‎想想看，兄弟，我說真的

76
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,125
‎男人之夜讓你好好當個男人

77
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,585
‎我們會一飲而盡香草伏特加

78
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,879
‎不喝無酒精飲料，因為我們都長大了

79
00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:15,673
‎美女、跑車

80
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,508
‎大家都拿一把劍

81
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,176
‎還有馮迪索在那

82
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:22,096
‎我想在臉書上唱卡拉OK

83
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:28,811
‎你們這些高大的成年男子
‎想在我堅挺的胸部上吃壽司嗎？

84
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,315
‎壽司是給素食下三爛吃的，吃我吧

85
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:34,317
‎爽

86
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,445
‎好，各位，抱歉，別再想像了

87
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,488
‎我提議不同的夜晚

88
00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:42,033
‎跟我一起想像，一下子就好了，孩子

89
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,577
‎為什麼你的耳邊細語這麼濕？

90
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:49,248
‎因為我的嘴非常想辦男孩之夜

91
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:54,962
‎我提議在夜晚
‎讓男性透過自我反省進行修補

92
00:04:55,046 --> 00:04:57,882
‎我們要分享秘密，然後回到嬰兒期

93
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,968
‎再用集體高潮慶祝我們的成長

94
00:05:01,052 --> 00:05:02,762
‎大家同意的話，也可說是團體排毒

95
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:07,808
‎以一種令人煩亂的漸強節奏
‎一邊哭一邊高潮

96
00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:10,644
‎聽起來讓人硬起來
‎無聊、很甲又會全身汗

97
00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:12,021
‎尼克，聽我的話

98
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:14,565
‎玻璃心讓我毫無進展

99
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:19,111
‎一晚不想到潔西會是一大放鬆

100
00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:22,156
‎我喜歡男生吃牛仔牛排的地方

101
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:25,576
‎我要選戴文的有趣計畫
‎不選安德魯的餿主意

102
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,162
‎一定要，我知道
‎今晚有個完美的地方可以去

103
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,748
‎安德魯，抱歉大家不喜歡你

104
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,292
‎讓人硬起來、無聊
‎很甲又會全身汗的想法

105
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:34,543
‎放心，小莫

106
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:37,713
‎不管怎樣，今晚會是團體排毒之夜

107
00:05:37,797 --> 00:05:40,424
‎地板會因為淚水和精液而變得濕滑

108
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,927
‎你知道誰最愛眼淚和精液嗎？

109
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,428
‎賽門性愛

110
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:48,224
‎我要邀請他
‎觀眾會想知道我說的是誰

111
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,225
‎（在家精盡人亡）

112
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:52,478
‎嗨，哈囉，你是我的一切

113
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:55,773
‎嗨，哈囉，你是我的一切

114
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,943
‎這就是做雙人放屁前奏的方法

115
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:02,738
‎嗨，哈囉，妳是我的一切

116
00:06:02,822 --> 00:06:03,989
‎她在跟你調情

117
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,658
‎打開她的膝蓋，埋進雙腿之間

118
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,743
‎等一下，這真的是我要的嗎？

119
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:11,205
‎當然啊，舔個陰
‎我們可以從調情前進到高潮

120
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:14,250
‎康妮，我不曉得是不是
‎該一口氣乾完整杯星冰樂

121
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,085
‎之後做一堆仰臥起坐

122
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:19,422
‎嗨，哈囉，妳是我的一切

123
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,298
‎再見

124
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,967
‎她們最差勁了，對吧？

125
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,886
‎-對，她們自以為酷
‎-沒錯

126
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,346
‎慢著，是誰在說話？

127
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,305
‎是我

128
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,724
‎老天，妳好可愛

129
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,852
‎謝謝，我叫蘿榭兒

130
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:34,061
‎好有氣質的名字

131
00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:36,355
‎妳知道誰很討人厭嗎？那些臭八婆

132
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:37,857
‎妳講話真直接

133
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:40,943
‎我不曉得
‎我會不會在光天化日下罵人八婆

134
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:44,738
‎我會，在同溫層小組會議時
‎她們的表現讓人不恥

135
00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:45,698
‎妳有出席嗎？

136
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:49,702
‎各位，我們開始著手讓世界變得更好

137
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:53,664
‎管他的，誰想實現我們的想法
‎不管米希的傻笨言論？

138
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:57,668
‎我是白人新成員
‎熱愛這身分的每分每秒

139
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:58,752
‎對

140
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,338
‎妳沒有在算我的仰臥起坐

141
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:02,631
‎抱歉，凱勒

142
00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:05,384
‎同溫層會議真的有這麼糟嗎？

143
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:08,471
‎有，而且大家不該這樣對妳

144
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,723
‎妳應該收到威爾斯利學院的
‎提早入學通知

145
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:13,684
‎還要有堅挺翹臀的男友

146
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,813
‎真希望妳說的成真
‎要有伊卓瑞斯艾巴堅挺的翹臀

147
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,734
‎兩位，這讓人一頭霧水

148
00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:23,903
‎我從來沒有被女生吸引過

149
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,779
‎說不定妳是女同志？

150
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,615
‎妳是說跟我媽一樣？

151
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,742
‎不對，妳一定也喜歡男生

152
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:31,994
‎賈德讓妳的穴穴濕到不行

153
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:35,206
‎妳們大家，別說得我好像不在場

154
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,708
‎-妳好，潔西的陰道
‎-天啊

155
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,753
‎雖然說賈德真的會讓我很濕

156
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:44,632
‎妳握著愛莉的腳踝時
‎我全身酥麻，妹子

157
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,384
‎潔西，妳的陰道好有趣

158
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,470
‎真害羞，妳過獎了

159
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:53,974
‎我跟潔西的會陰部、肛門
‎和凱格爾諧星在同一個喜劇班

160
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:56,894
‎可是親愛的
‎跟妳最好的朋友談情說愛？

161
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,730
‎這比妳想的還複雜許多

162
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:01,398
‎我可不同意

163
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,567
‎想辦法跟妳最好的朋友上床？

164
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:07,738
‎這是世界上最美妙又自然的事

165
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,490
‎-真的嗎？
‎-其實呢

166
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:12,660
‎我好像寫了一首相關的歌

167
00:08:15,788 --> 00:08:20,042
‎世界無限大，有百萬種情侶

168
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,878
‎有粗暴、溫柔、邋遢，也有速戰速決

169
00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:28,467
‎會有男友、女友
‎長期交往和閃電戀愛

170
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:31,053
‎穴穴和雞雞的手工藝者

171
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:36,141
‎有些人很酷，有些人很蠢

172
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:39,728
‎有些人是廁所隔間裡的陌生人

173
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:45,025
‎但只要說到純粹的愉悅
‎就要不顧一切

174
00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:48,946
‎有一種戀人是最優秀的

175
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:53,284
‎最棒的戀情建立在深刻的友誼

176
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,120
‎與好友滾床單最棒了

177
00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:01,458
‎在床單下得到愛與情感

178
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:07,423
‎寶貝，妳會忘記其餘的一切

179
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:11,385
‎有些戀人或許能滿足妳原始的需求

180
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:15,514
‎但他們留下沉悶的悔恨

181
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:19,893
‎但跟一號好友搞上時

182
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:24,607
‎這是兩個世界的最佳選擇
‎是一股強大的力量

183
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:28,193
‎最棒的戀情建立在深刻的友誼

184
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:31,238
‎與朋友愛愛最棒了

185
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:36,452
‎在肉體連結中增加信任與情感

186
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:42,583
‎寶貝，妳就會忘記
‎寶貝，妳就會忘記其餘的一切

187
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,919
‎真要命，康妮，這首歌太美妙了

188
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:50,257
‎謝謝，這樣有讓妳想跟朋友親熱嗎？

189
00:09:50,341 --> 00:09:52,343
‎老實說，還真的有一點

190
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:56,055
‎如果妳把這首歌倒著放
‎在場每個人都會想舔鮑鮑

191
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:59,308
‎舔鮑鮑，崇拜聖誕老人

192
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,434
‎不可能

193
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:03,270
‎天啊，這地方好恐怖

194
00:10:03,354 --> 00:10:06,106
‎你今晚離開時不是心情好一點

195
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,567
‎就是被流浪漢殺死

196
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,820
‎要是你掛了
‎我相信潔西的心情一定很糟

197
00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:14,156
‎對，這會讓她知道自己錯了

198
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:18,661
‎尼克，歡迎來到超猛放蕩男之夜

199
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,496
‎-尼克
‎-去你的感覺

200
00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:22,331
‎-我們要砸東西
‎-對

201
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,626
‎-有老鼠
‎-各位，這地方…

202
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,545
‎-很棒吧？
‎-你拿長柄錘做什麼？

203
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,756
‎我們要像男人一樣砸爛東西

204
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:31,674
‎我帶了刀

205
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:36,387
‎我跟查爾斯分開來
‎我帶了披風跟保險套

206
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:40,766
‎我推來一大鍋
‎我媽的招牌料理，拉普湯

207
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:44,395
‎這是兩份墨西哥玉米片乳酪
‎加一份美式橙味飲料

208
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,606
‎壞男孩最懂如何狂歡

209
00:10:50,109 --> 00:10:52,903
‎你從哪弄來這麼殺的衣服
‎溫柔的安迪？

210
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:57,157
‎我媽在一趟
‎她沒去的亞利桑那州之旅買的

211
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,242
‎你的衣服哪弄來的？

212
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,702
‎他從我這弄來的

213
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,704
‎-真驚喜，你好
‎-你好

214
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:03,414
‎想必你就是賽門性愛吧？

215
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:07,960
‎正是在下，但我唯一的罪是對愛開放

216
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:12,214
‎我們還因為
‎在溫布頓球場的草皮打手槍而被判刑

217
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,133
‎對，我都忘了這回事

218
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,552
‎去吧，安德魯，讓那些男生知道

219
00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:19,638
‎即使這社會不想要他們展現脆弱

220
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,891
‎溫柔也可以很有力量而且性感

221
00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:26,729
‎若你們這些職業變態
‎說要這樣做，那我就做

222
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:31,108
‎各位好，希望你們準備打開心房

223
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:34,236
‎因為我帶了一罐“媽咪的小幫手”

224
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,113
‎-太棒了
‎-你從哪弄酒來的？

225
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:40,075
‎我有鬍子，尼克，店員會賣我粉紅酒

226
00:11:40,159 --> 00:11:42,119
‎我們來喝醉吧

227
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:47,249
‎不行，喝酒前，要先說一句感想

228
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,294
‎我覺得這很糟

229
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,713
‎好吧，大塊頭，我先開始

230
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:57,217
‎我覺得害怕
‎因為我愛的好朋友尼克，我喜歡男生

231
00:11:57,301 --> 00:12:00,679
‎顯然很痛苦，不願敞開心房

232
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,473
‎尼克，換你了

233
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,308
‎好，我覺得

234
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,853
‎我想用戴文的長柄錘砸毀一間廁所

235
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:14,276
‎對，砸東西比感受悲哀好得多

236
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,652
‎你真是個小男子漢

237
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,154
‎去他的

238
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,031
‎拆掉水槽

239
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:20,240
‎毀掉浴缸

240
00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:23,076
‎找出我藏在牆壁裡的餅乾

241
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,705
‎若有人想尋求喘息
‎擺脫男子漢的桎梏

242
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,500
‎溫柔小站正在營業中

243
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:31,794
‎真不和善

244
00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,379
‎妳看照片說明下的所有愛心

245
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:37,800
‎妳覺得愛莉和潔西在牢裡
‎發生什麼亂七八糟的事？

246
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,177
‎妳到底在暗示什麼？

247
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,596
‎我的意思是說，她們一起進牢裡

248
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,182
‎她們一出獄，愛莉就跟莎蜜拉分手

249
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,099
‎妳想想前因後果

250
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,060
‎所以妳覺得…

251
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,312
‎潔西一定跟愛莉在牢裡搞上了

252
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,230
‎這很明顯

253
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:54,483
‎莎蜜拉和愛莉在一起三個月

254
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:57,027
‎以中學的時間來說，那等於四個月

255
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:02,074
‎沒錯，潔西是個瘋婆子
‎危害社會的人，要有人阻止她

256
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,577
‎所以如果我跟大家說她勾搭上愛莉

257
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:08,163
‎等於是在幫大家，就像吹哨人一樣

258
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:11,250
‎沒錯，最勇敢的作法就是
‎把這件事貼上網

259
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,543
‎用匿名帳號

260
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,753
‎我早想到了

261
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:17,172
‎“大白話醫生”，很好

262
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:20,509
‎籠中鳥？更像一對愛侶

263
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:25,180
‎這兩個罪犯在牢裡火辣調情

264
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:28,559
‎-小妞
‎-可憐的莎蜜拉會怎麼想？

265
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,519
‎主題標籤：偷吃

266
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,980
‎主題標籤：可憐的莎蜜拉

267
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:35,190
‎主題標籤：IG上的蕩婦

268
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:37,067
‎妳真是高手

269
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,404
‎現在按下發送，結束潔西恐怖的霸權

270
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,699
‎但我們知道這有可能不是真的吧？

271
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:45,784
‎那又怎樣？她就是討人厭

272
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,120
‎她確實很討人厭，等著瞧，八婆

273
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,454
‎加油，小討厭，快點

274
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,041
‎通通砸爛

275
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:53,959
‎寶貝？

276
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,836
‎-你在想什麼？
‎-兄弟

277
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,296
‎我們從來不談天

278
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,006
‎你有怎樣的家人？

279
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,550
‎-你跟他們在一起有安全感嗎？
‎-安全感？

280
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:05,554
‎我在想大概是因為
‎我們一直互相喇來喇去

281
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:09,933
‎我不知道，或許我們能交換感受？

282
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,393
‎這樣可能也很火辣，對吧？

283
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,311
‎不要，我不想

284
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:15,647
‎那好吧，我也不想

285
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:18,400
‎我就照你的意思，留在這裡

286
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:19,943
‎20分鐘後見

287
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,279
‎我的賤人前妻去死

288
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,032
‎一個月14元的贍養費？

289
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:29,244
‎連鎖鞋店的那個店員去死
‎他說我的腳不正常

290
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:30,621
‎潔西去死

291
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:35,667
‎她竟敢一次次拒絕你

292
00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,252
‎她配不上我

293
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:43,216
‎對，繼續拿你奇怪的小劍戳牆
‎戳到你相信這件事

294
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:46,345
‎好，確定了，向大家宣布吧

295
00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:49,514
‎這些男生沒人想接受我溫柔的安撫

296
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,224
‎他們拒絕看自己的內心

297
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:52,351
‎令人心碎的實情

298
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:53,977
‎我有時候喜歡看自己的內心

299
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:57,481
‎我拿著鏡子照屁眼
‎可以一路看到我的肚子

300
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,523
‎慢著，那是怎樣？

301
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,443
‎那是杰，他哭得像個小娘炮

302
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,153
‎小莫，真正的小娘炮

303
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:07,532
‎是不在他需要時安慰他的男生

304
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,743
‎我該試著施展一點我的溫柔嗎？

305
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,703
‎或來點迷幻蘑菇，這是我們需要的

306
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:13,455
‎我應該會選溫柔對待

307
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:16,041
‎如果你不想跟兩個荷爾蒙怪物

308
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,794
‎一起吃強效迷幻劑，那沒關係

309
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,171
‎再說，我們全吃完了，所以…

310
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:26,093
‎最棒的戀情建立在深刻的友誼

311
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,303
‎天啊，這首歌在我腦中揮之不去

312
00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:30,305
‎妳的大腦擺脫不了愛莉

313
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,140
‎我的大腦也擺脫不了她

314
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,434
‎不好意思，陰道也有腦袋嗎？

315
00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:36,770
‎當然有，我也有自己的小陰道

316
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,814
‎而我有更小的陰道

317
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,941
‎再說下去會沒完沒了

318
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,610
‎妳知道還有什麼會沒完沒了嗎？

319
00:15:43,694 --> 00:15:45,779
‎妳對愛莉的愛

320
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,948
‎-那是什麼鬼東西？
‎-這是愛的望遠鏡

321
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:53,286
‎往裡面看就能看到妳未來的愛情生活

322
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,539
‎親愛的，我買了我們的運動衣和球鞋

323
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,916
‎明天參加激進社會正義活動時可以穿

324
00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:01,253
‎是梅根拉皮諾總統的新潮牌嗎？

325
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:02,587
‎妳最懂，寶貝

326
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:03,714
‎天啊，我愛妳

327
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,883
‎我今晚要好好專心吃妳

328
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,552
‎我先吃妳的話就無法了

329
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:12,055
‎等等，如果我們同時吃彼此呢？

330
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:15,392
‎很好，妳真是陰道界的天才

331
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:20,480
‎天啊，未來看起來很美好

332
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,524
‎妳在裡面嗎？我是愛莉

333
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,068
‎靠，她來了，妳現在可以跟她表白

334
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,362
‎妳好，我正好想到妳

335
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,448
‎-妳有看到這鬼貼文嗎？
‎-什麼？

336
00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,533
‎我們“火辣調情”？

337
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,035
‎“IG上的蕩婦”？

338
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,411
‎這什麼啦？

339
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,122
‎靠，大家快來看

340
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,082
‎愛莉跟潔西在牢裡打炮

341
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:42,878
‎真棒，女生搞同性戀時好性感

342
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,254
‎搞什麼？

343
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,089
‎潔西喜歡愛莉？

344
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:49,342
‎真可惜，抱歉，兄弟，太慘了

345
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:53,346
‎你醜到讓潔西投向女生的懷抱
‎我開玩笑的啦，兄弟

346
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,640
‎一點都不好笑

347
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:56,808
‎很好笑

348
00:16:56,892 --> 00:17:00,103
‎你是老頭子，沒人說這件事

349
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:03,106
‎老頭子準備揍你一頓，小伙子

350
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,568
‎我要宰了你

351
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,571
‎杰，你在哭

352
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,073
‎安德魯

353
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:14,785
‎別理我，我只是想把自己丟進絞肉機

354
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,328
‎然後做成雞塊

355
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:19,331
‎我覺得你好像需要潔淨靈魂

356
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,249
‎要不要來場銅鑼浴？

357
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:26,254
‎-杰，鑼聲響…
‎-不要，等等，什麼？別唱了

358
00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:27,547
‎我討厭洗澡

359
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:30,133
‎安德魯，我覺得這個激動的小子

360
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,594
‎可能只想要有人聽他說話

361
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:36,515
‎也對，好吧，抱歉
‎杰，是什麼讓你哭了？

362
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:41,061
‎是這樣的，我在跟查爾斯盧偷來暗去

363
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,605
‎查爾斯是同志？那珍娜呢？

364
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,607
‎-查爾斯不是你圈子的人吧？
‎-什麼？

365
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,860
‎安迪，聽就好，別評論

366
00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:52,322
‎記住，讓拉爾斯
‎從輪椅上站起來的功臣是你

367
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,949
‎你怎知那件事，賽門性愛？

368
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:57,035
‎小莫什麼都跟我說，我負責聽

369
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,204
‎因為你是髮質很好的好朋友

370
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,373
‎你看起來像時髦的美洲豹

371
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:05,085
‎對，你看起來像一大堆的老二

372
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:08,171
‎對，迷幻蘑菇好像發揮效用了

373
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,631
‎他們走了

374
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:12,801
‎杰，我準備聽你說了
‎多說點查爾斯盧的事

375
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:16,513
‎他用舌頭幹我的嘴時，火辣極了

376
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,349
‎但他卻不用舌頭幹我的心

377
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,268
‎好，我聽到的是

378
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,938
‎你想要有人跟你對話
‎同時在意你的感受？

379
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:28,900
‎你這樣解讀，讓我聽起來很遜

380
00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:30,235
‎拜託別說出去

381
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:34,531
‎不會，男生也需要情感連結
‎這就是我整晚一直在說的

382
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,617
‎對，我知道，你真的很煩

383
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,953
‎我想念蘿娜

384
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,998
‎她是很特別的人，拜託你同意

385
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:43,915
‎這我辦不到

386
00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:47,961
‎重點在於你想要得到的東西
‎比查爾斯給的更多，這沒關係

387
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,921
‎-真的嗎？
‎-那當然

388
00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:52,674
‎你很擅長傾聽，安德魯

389
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,759
‎我再也不想勒死你了

390
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,555
‎兄弟，我說過是開玩笑的
‎你幹嘛這麼爆怒？

391
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,307
‎因為你是個不折不扣的敗類

392
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,975
‎做掉他

393
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,853
‎我不正常的腳

394
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,563
‎天啊，拉普，你沒事吧？

395
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,941
‎沒事，對男人來說，痛苦就是長見識

396
00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:13,653
‎我的鼻血流不停
‎你好像把我的鼻子打斷了

397
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:15,822
‎兄弟，我來陪你

398
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:17,741
‎幹嘛，跟我一起射精？

399
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:21,453
‎我不想跟你或你們任何一個混蛋
‎一起“團體高潮”

400
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:22,370
‎我要走了

401
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,873
‎他不想討論自己的感受

402
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:27,792
‎因為從現在起，他只有一種感受

403
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:31,838
‎白辣辣、小拳頭的怒火

404
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,424
‎我的那個東西掉了

405
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,301
‎去你的，小東西

406
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:38,929
‎鄉民對妳上傳的八卦為之瘋狂

407
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,890
‎潔西跟其他女人一樣

408
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:45,352
‎真遺憾看到我是校內
‎唯一真正的女權人士

409
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,854
‎請給大家看監獄同志照

410
00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:49,856
‎火焰表情符號乘三

411
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:52,442
‎好嚇人

412
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,570
‎這些留言讓我充滿生氣

413
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:57,113
‎抱歉我遲到了，親愛的

414
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,949
‎維多利亞的秘密在特賣

415
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:02,327
‎我經期時就會分解的丁字褲快沒了

416
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,828
‎那地方是垃圾

417
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:05,205
‎天使穿內褲？

418
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,374
‎我下輩子才不要穿胸罩

419
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,210
‎-可愛的仇恨蟲
‎-過獎了

420
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,003
‎等等，什麼蟲？

421
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,713
‎仇恨蟲，妳明知道

422
00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:15,257
‎沒有，我不知道

423
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,260
‎我不是會仇恨別人的人

424
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,262
‎不是別人，而是潔西

425
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:21,554
‎但仇恨非常醜陋

426
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:22,472
‎才不會

427
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:26,768
‎馬丁路德金仇恨歧視
‎於是他改變我國的結構

428
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,979
‎妳覺得馬丁路德金很蠢嗎？

429
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,146
‎當然不會

430
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,481
‎他當過醫生

431
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:35,110
‎仇恨也可以很好
‎能讓妳遠離壞事和傷害妳的人

432
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,529
‎這倒是，潔西確實傷害了我

433
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:40,782
‎妳也想傷害她吧？
‎所以我們才會編出這個謠言

434
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,493
‎原來我好像真的討厭潔西

435
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,412
‎加油，說到就要做到

436
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:47,497
‎妳很清楚她活該被妳討厭

437
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,833
‎小姐，妳什麼都不是

438
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,085
‎我討厭妳，潔西格拉瑟

439
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:56,840
‎我討厭妳的臉
‎妳惹人厭的態度、妳差勁的姓氏

440
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,342
‎我祝妳衰到爆

441
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,720
‎沒錯，現在解決她

442
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:06,182
‎天啊，我沒想到會發生這種事

443
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,602
‎太扯了啦

444
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:11,813
‎沒錯，差勁透頂

445
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,982
‎大家會以為我背著莎蜜拉偷吃

446
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,401
‎莎蜜拉會以為我背著莎蜜拉偷吃

447
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,778
‎天啊，我沒想到那個

448
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:22,991
‎那是因為妳想著
‎用妳的胸部磨蹭她的胸部

449
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:25,827
‎直到四個乳房變成一大個

450
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,663
‎我不覺得她現在想要變成大胸部

451
00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:32,042
‎-她看起來真的很難過
‎-妳還是要跟她告白吧？

452
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:34,961
‎我們在愛的望遠鏡
‎看到的美好未來怎麼辦？

453
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:38,048
‎該看看以後還有什麼事會發生嗎？

454
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,341
‎（未來五分鐘）

455
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:41,468
‎嘿，我愛上妳了

456
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:42,886
‎這哪招？

457
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:45,180
‎我知道，我也很驚訝

458
00:21:45,263 --> 00:21:47,599
‎妹子，妳現在真的想跟我在一起？

459
00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,351
‎但我們彼此很適合

460
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,269
‎最棒的戀情建立在深刻的友誼

461
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:52,771
‎聽好，我唱歌給妳聽

462
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:55,065
‎天啊，妳這語氣跟尼克一樣

463
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:55,982
‎別這麼說

464
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:58,360
‎我絕對不想成為妳的愛人，潔西

465
00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,570
‎現在我們連朋友都當不成了

466
00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:02,697
‎靠，太慘了吧

467
00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:06,534
‎對，但那是“可能”發生的事吧？
‎沒人說一定會這樣

468
00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:10,705
‎記得拉皮諾總統還有專心口交嗎？

469
00:22:10,789 --> 00:22:12,457
‎不值得冒這個險

470
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,167
‎我對她的友情越界了

471
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,836
‎去妳的，這說法太美

472
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,006
‎嘿，很抱歉傳出那則八卦

473
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:22,175
‎妳要我去向莎蜜拉澄清嗎？

474
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:26,012
‎莎蜜拉說她寧可腋下感染酵母菌

475
00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:28,348
‎也不想再跟妳說話，所以…

476
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:29,849
‎但我很感謝妳的好意

477
00:22:29,933 --> 00:22:31,810
‎妳真的很夠朋友，我愛妳

478
00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:33,019
‎我也愛妳

479
00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:35,313
‎很高興我不用獨自面對這一切

480
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,273
‎大概就是這樣了吧？

481
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:40,402
‎至少現在來說
‎當得成情侶可能很美好

482
00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:42,404
‎但現在這樣也很好吧？

483
00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:44,197
‎她是好朋友

484
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,242
‎有火辣身材、軟嫩嘴唇的好朋友

485
00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:48,993
‎但我不會再提到這件事

486
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:52,038
‎只會說我們吻上她的唇吧
‎抱歉，到此為止

487
00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:53,123
‎她的臀部很漂亮

488
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,792
‎你們快看

489
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,627
‎我現在成了跛腳哥哈普曼

490
00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,797
‎-跛腳哥，拜託去醫院吧
‎-我不要

491
00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:04,384
‎你可以的

492
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:05,927
‎查爾斯，可以聊聊嗎？

493
00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:07,595
‎可以吧，有話快說

494
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:10,181
‎跟我們有關，事情有點重要

495
00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:11,933
‎好

496
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,227
‎我一開始要先說

497
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:18,148
‎我對於你背著珍娜跟我交往
‎完全沒有道德疑慮

498
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,566
‎我喜歡劈腿

499
00:23:19,649 --> 00:23:20,942
‎這是家族遺傳

500
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:23,945
‎-還有很重的鉛含量
‎-什麼？

501
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:27,282
‎我想說的是，我喜歡打炮

502
00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:31,995
‎但我也需要你投入大量的情感

503
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,121
‎我不要？

504
00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:34,998
‎好，沒關係

505
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:41,337
‎那我大概不能再當你的炮友了

506
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:43,047
‎-好
‎-好喔，兄弟

507
00:23:43,882 --> 00:23:45,425
‎社會課再見

508
00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:47,385
‎很遺憾，杰

509
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:50,597
‎這樣完全行不通，但你知道嗎？

510
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:51,681
‎我以你為榮

511
00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:54,225
‎謝了，安德魯，我們回家吧

512
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,810
‎-你看看
‎-天啊

513
00:23:55,894 --> 00:23:57,729
‎這兩個孩子真的建立起感情了

514
00:23:57,812 --> 00:24:00,607
‎我不記得安德魯的膚色有這麼藍

515
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,401
‎杰，你回到家要打手槍嗎？

516
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:08,198
‎當然要，我要射在精靈帽裡
‎然後從蘑菇房的窗戶丟出去

517
00:24:08,281 --> 00:24:10,325
‎-真甜蜜
‎-太美好了

518
00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:12,619
‎-我喜歡蘑菇
‎-沒錯，寶貝

519
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:17,123
‎潔西為什麼不跟我說她喜歡愛莉？

520
00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:23,379
‎因為她是沒血沒淚的蕩婦
‎喜歡公開羞辱你

521
00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:25,340
‎真不敢相信我愛過她

522
00:24:25,423 --> 00:24:29,886
‎你當然不會再愛上她了

523
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:32,639
‎沃特，你沒事吧？

524
00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:34,474
‎他好像死掉了

525
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:36,392
‎而且他的乳頭很硬

526
00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:37,727
‎真有意思

527
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:38,853
‎天啊

528
00:24:38,937 --> 00:24:42,398
‎潔西和愛莉真是自私

529
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:45,360
‎希望莎蜜拉沒事

530
00:24:45,443 --> 00:24:48,154
‎假裝同情前女友

531
00:24:48,238 --> 00:24:49,781
‎太邪惡了，寶貝

532
00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:51,658
‎討厭妳的人就是討厭妳

533
00:24:51,741 --> 00:24:55,119
‎妳知道怎樣才好玩嗎？
‎大白話醫生回覆留言

534
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:56,621
‎我喜歡

535
00:24:56,704 --> 00:25:01,960
‎你以為潔西變單親家庭後
‎她不會去破壞別人的感情

536
00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:06,214
‎主題標籤：思春做作鬼
‎主題標籤：單親家庭兒童

537
00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:09,759
‎米希，我們在一起會很有趣

538
00:25:10,927 --> 00:25:13,846
‎朱哈里，那感覺好怪

539
00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:15,265
‎但我喜歡

540
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:16,432
‎沒錯

541
00:25:17,267 --> 00:25:18,434
‎妳還好嗎，康妮？

542
00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:19,561
‎我不會有事的

543
00:25:19,644 --> 00:25:22,397
‎我以為我們現在會在幫愛莉指交

544
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,358
‎我要學會別做白日夢，以免陰道失望

545
00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:28,194
‎我可沒想過我會追著女生跑

546
00:25:28,278 --> 00:25:30,363
‎我一直以為我比較喜歡耕耘老二

547
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:33,116
‎妳不用急著現在想通

548
00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:34,200
‎妳還年輕

549
00:25:34,284 --> 00:25:37,412
‎這就是現代農業的美好

550
00:25:37,495 --> 00:25:39,789
‎妳可以栽培陰道跟老二

551
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,833
‎沒錯，親愛的，我們來看看

552
00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:48,548
‎今年老二的收成確實很好，青筋浮現

553
00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:51,426
‎對，陰道看起來也很豐滿

554
00:25:51,509 --> 00:25:53,177
‎對，我喜歡那顏色

555
00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:55,847
‎它們一定跟糖一樣甜

556
00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:59,684
‎兩位進來了，今天的晚餐吃混蛋

557
00:26:00,351 --> 00:26:01,978
‎今晚吃混蛋三明治

558
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,438
‎看誰先到家

559
00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:10,570
‎最棒的戀情建立在深刻的友誼

560
00:26:10,653 --> 00:26:13,239
‎與好友滾床單最棒了

561
00:26:13,781 --> 00:26:18,202
‎在床單下得到愛與情感

562
00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:20,997
‎寶貝，妳會忘記其餘的一切

563
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:27,337
‎有些戀人或許能滿足妳原始的需求

564
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:30,632
‎但他們留下沉悶的悔恨

565
00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:35,136
‎但跟一號好友搞上時

566
00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:39,641
‎這是兩個世界的最佳選擇
‎是一股強大的力量

567
00:26:41,309 --> 00:26:45,063
‎最棒的戀情建立在深刻的友誼

568
00:26:45,146 --> 00:26:48,316
‎內心滿足到不行

569
00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:54,280
‎字幕翻譯：林佩孜