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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎快點，你烤成金黃色了沒？
‎你這懶惰的王八蛋

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‎這隻火雞真漂亮，馬諦

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‎芭芭拉，別誇這隻臭鳥

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‎牠會得意忘形
‎肉質變乾，讓我失望好幾年

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‎說到這個，安德魯

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‎爸，你尖叫嗎？

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‎幫我把這個傑作放進網路鞋店的箱子

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‎感覺起來不太對

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‎帶著不請自來的火雞
‎去柏奇家過感恩節

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‎你開什麼玩笑？

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‎等他們嚐到我多汁的雞肉

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‎就會封我為感恩節之王了

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‎快上車，肥臀王子

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‎我喜歡那個名字，肥臀王子
‎我向你軟軟的屁股鞠躬

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‎先等一下，不要放後車廂

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‎我不能抱著火雞坐後座嗎？

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‎什麼？然後把熱油
‎到處沾在超細類麂皮上？你瘋了？

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‎小莫？你不進來後車廂嗎？

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‎我很樂意擠在裡面
‎就在你爸的涼鞋旁邊

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‎但我要去打觸身式橄欖球

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‎約翰偉恩波比特10分鐘後要來接我

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‎-什麼？
‎-把頭燈打開，白痴

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‎不要打翻火雞

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‎爸爸，不要，媽咪

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‎淺淺地呼吸就好，安德魯

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‎布里奇頓中學很榮幸歡迎
‎新吉祥物的靈感來源

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‎史蒂文范贊特

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‎孩子們，我要讓妳們握史蒂文范的手

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‎現在車子會直接載我到機場

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‎真不敢相信潔西和愛莉
‎能見到小史蒂文

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‎我多想讓他肉肉的下巴
‎埋在我的雙腿之間

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‎我不要想到
‎潔西、愛莉或妳的雙腿之間

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‎我只是很興奮
‎我的堂姊們要來過感恩節

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‎火熱亞特蘭大家族

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‎妳的堂姊莉娜有種特質會讓我想躺下

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‎對天打開我的雙腿

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‎天啊，她們來了

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‎厄科叔叔，最近怎樣？

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‎妳這樣叫我會生氣，不過家人為重

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‎我剛開了那個玩笑嗎？

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‎天啊，不要這樣

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‎大家好

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‎小堂妹

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‎看看這辮子，妳還沒重綁

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‎什麼？這還要重綁？
‎但是第一次綁的時候好痛

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‎米希，妳的辮子都打結了，妳看髮尾

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‎她看起來就像爆炸頭佛德瑞道格拉斯

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‎好，謝謝妳們的稱讚
‎他是偉大的廢奴主義者

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‎希望大家都能胃口大開

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‎我做了花椰菜泥
‎球芽甘藍佐天貝肉汁…

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‎-天貝是什麼鬼？
‎-…還有素火雞配橡子醬

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‎我的寶貝讓人很滿意

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‎我差點忘了，點心是角豆莢派

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‎角豆莢派…你一塊啊，我一塊

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‎-天啊，他們…
‎-地球上最像白人的黑人？

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‎這樣吧，我們應該“去散步”，妳懂的

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‎對，“去散步”
‎我想呼吸新鮮的東北空氣，妳也懂

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‎妳們說的懂，是懂什麼？

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‎快穿上外套吧，爆炸頭

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‎天啊，歐岡大道的減速丘快到了

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‎-你好，嗨
‎-靠，誰在說話？是誰說的？

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‎抱歉，真不好意思
‎我不是故意要嚇你的

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‎會說話的火雞？

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‎我確實是火雞，但我叫費南多

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‎很高興認識你，費南多

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‎歡迎來到我爸棕色車的後車廂

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‎你好有禮貌，你爸在幫我抹油時

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‎他叫我不會飛的渾球

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‎不值得用一袋檸檬塞進我的屁眼

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‎對，他曾說過他很後悔從蛋蛋射出我

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‎真要命，你要為自己發聲

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‎你知道怎樣能把我爸逼瘋嗎？

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‎-付錢請人幫他洗車？
‎-我們不能太過火

75
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‎但我在想，如果我拒吃你呢？

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‎我當然喜歡這個提議

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‎沒錯，肥臀王子
‎要推翻萬能的王，天啊

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‎沒錯，路達

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‎今年的感恩節
‎我們要挨家挨戶偷食物

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‎不會有人在意
‎因為聖誕老人可以私闖民宅

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‎又一年了，為什麼今年
‎我的孩子們都沒打給我？

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‎葛雷，喬氏超市的塔可餅真好吃

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‎我的秘訣是不看說明，隨興發揮

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‎我喜歡即興製作塔可餅

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‎原來是“即興製作”塔可餅啊

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‎聽起來很開心

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‎潔西，塔可餅是陰道的意思

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‎這是荷爾蒙怪物學校第一樣教的東西

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‎媽，妳怎麼了？為什麼這麼開心？

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‎我不是故意要用好心情來惹妳不開心

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‎-青少女，我說的對吧，凱特琳？
‎-完全正確

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‎葛雷，你的頭髮上有東西

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‎對，我公司儲藏室的
‎蒜泥蛋黃醬爆炸了

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‎-沒關係，我來弄
‎-謝謝

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‎我不太舒服，先去躺一下好了

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‎天啊，那女的不想看到
‎妳父母的情慾流動

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‎-“情慾流動”？
‎-很難說，康妮

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‎我覺得或許是“愛意流動”

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‎妳不覺得他們會復合吧？

100
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‎對，媽媽和爸爸再次墜入愛河

101
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‎他們會做愛，妳會邊聽邊學

102
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‎這也是優點

103
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‎還有啊，你們又會是一家人了

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‎就像“鬍渣佬”粉絲團一樣

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‎葛雷，怎麼了？

106
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‎妳心裡明白

107
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‎你們在做什麼？凱特琳在另一間房

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‎-說的對
‎-什麼？

109
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‎我去殺了凱特琳
‎這不是妳想要的嗎？

110
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‎對，但不是付諸行動

111
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‎來不及了，我已經拉掉安全開關了

112
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‎我們趁爆炸前離開吧

113
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‎我們在舊家裡飄走，太神奇了

114
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‎怎麼會有這種事？

115
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‎我戒掉大麻了

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‎我戒掉舔鮑了，親愛的

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‎意想不到

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‎可惡，我不曉得我們這麼希望這樣

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‎-對
‎-可惜這都不是真的

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‎好痛

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‎閉嘴，小寶寶

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‎葛雷

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‎他們看起來真的很開心

124
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‎對，我們要怎麼阻止夏儂舔鮑？

125
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‎太美妙了

126
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‎潔西，我的心，我的心好痛啊

127
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‎他被吸血鬼咬了嗎？

128
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,895
‎沒有，他是單戀的受害者

129
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‎我們的心都碎了

130
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‎碎了？應該送去蘋果天才吧維修

131
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‎不行，我們沒買蘋果保固，你忘了？

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‎-潔西
‎-潔西

133
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‎蘋果保固

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‎親愛的，我們很想見到妳的新男友

135
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‎他是真命天子嗎，莉婭？

136
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‎他會是妳愛一輩子的對象嗎？

137
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‎快告訴我妳心無疑慮

138
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‎-我去開
‎-不用，我去

139
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‎讓開，尼克的姊姊

140
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‎感恩節快樂，各位

141
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,426
‎我想先為一切事情道歉

142
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:07,011
‎我們帶了好吃的火雞來

143
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‎我還真沒禮貌

144
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‎跟你一起進垃圾桶

145
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‎等你們嚐過這隻多汁的火雞再說

146
00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:17,730
‎你們會發現自己這輩子根本一事無成

147
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:20,441
‎兄弟，過得好嗎？

148
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,358
‎我知道

149
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:24,820
‎潔西堅決說出你毫無份量可言

150
00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:27,239
‎但我有件事會讓你好過一些

151
00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:29,950
‎-我今天拒吃我爸的火雞
‎-為什麼？

152
00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:33,579
‎因為我要以不著痕跡的方式
‎為自己發聲

153
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‎好

154
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:37,249
‎我回來了
‎你錯過精彩的觸身式橄欖球賽

155
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,626
‎OJ寶刀未老

156
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:39,668
‎OJ辛普森？

157
00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:42,963
‎對，有我、果汁先生
‎蘿莉控、葛路里

158
00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:44,590
‎所有90年代的怪物

159
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:47,468
‎史蒂芬席格一臉慘樣

160
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,179
‎可能是莉婭的新男友

161
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,973
‎“男友”？你不是答應把莉婭留給我

162
00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:56,519
‎那聽起來像是你的春夢
‎我說過我不要參與其中

163
00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:58,687
‎尼克，我也控制不了

164
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‎兩位好

165
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:05,611
‎-搞什麼？
‎-莉婭在跟瓦爾比瑟瑞恩交往？

166
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:10,115
‎瓦爾的爸爸，蓋比瑟瑞恩
‎也有參與90年代怪物球賽

167
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:12,284
‎-你知道他搭誰的便車嗎？
‎-爛人？

168
00:08:12,368 --> 00:08:13,452
‎不對

169
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:14,828
‎連續殺人魔羅伯特德斯特

170
00:08:18,249 --> 00:08:21,293
‎兩位，那是真的大麻嗎？

171
00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:22,753
‎天啊，那是草

172
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‎在吃妳媽做的噁心素肉汁時
‎我們一定要心情很愉悅

173
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‎酷，太酷了，這一切都好酷

174
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:31,679
‎那只是大麻，像大家說的毒品入門款

175
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,389
‎米希，想抽抽看嗎？

176
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:36,559
‎我不吸毒
‎因為我很在意我的大腦發展

177
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,727
‎我們鬧妳的啦

178
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‎妳是我們的寶貝堂妹
‎我們不會讓妳抽的

179
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,983
‎這真是無聊又多餘的惡作劇

180
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,401
‎妳們騙到我了

181
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:47,361
‎米希小姐，學校之類的還好嗎？

182
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,322
‎這麼說吧，我創立了同溫層小組

183
00:08:50,406 --> 00:08:53,492
‎我的第一個計畫是
‎換掉學校令人反感的吉祥物

184
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:54,994
‎好，小小社會運動家

185
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,413
‎但沒人要聽我的20點計畫

186
00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:58,956
‎20點？嚇死人

187
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:02,084
‎米希，小寶貝，妳怎麼這麼傻？

188
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,169
‎我才不傻，我不覺得我傻

189
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,755
‎我很聰明、有熱情、認真又堅定

190
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:10,259
‎-她真的是爸爸的乖女兒
‎-她是小史蒂夫厄科

191
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,138
‎完蛋，妳的酷堂姊也覺得妳是呆瓜

192
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,348
‎妳幹嘛用“也”？還有誰這樣想？

193
00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,851
‎我，還有學校每個人

194
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,270
‎這大概是他們不想聽妳的計畫的原因

195
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,397
‎因為沒人想聽呆瓜說話

196
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,358
‎大家就聽歐巴馬說話
‎巴拉克歐巴馬？

197
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:28,193
‎歐巴馬不是呆瓜

198
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:30,571
‎他用《哈佛法律評論》吸古柯鹼

199
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:34,825
‎真的嗎？那歐巴馬有這樣做過嗎？

200
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,201
‎-有，常常做
‎-靠

201
00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:38,412
‎米希，不行，妳幹嘛搶去抽？

202
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,997
‎因為我不是呆瓜

203
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,584
‎我是美國第一任黑人總統

204
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,837
‎我太太比我還要酷

205
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,214
‎-琨塔，我們完蛋了
‎-真要命

206
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,300
‎她嗨起來會更奇怪

207
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:57,097
‎對，我一定是頭暈目眩又迷茫困惑

208
00:09:57,181 --> 00:10:00,601
‎因為我很肯定自己看到
‎聖誕老人在玩跑酷

209
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,441
‎感恩節快樂

210
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:15,115
‎瓦爾，你們家在春假拋下杰
‎我打給你媽時

211
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,950
‎是你對著電話放屁的嗎？

212
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,036
‎-媽
‎-沒關係，我是比氏家族的人

213
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:22,998
‎我在嚴重有瑕疵的父權主義下長大
‎所以我覺得這裡倍感溫馨

214
00:10:23,082 --> 00:10:24,583
‎這個家真的很溫暖

215
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:28,045
‎對，就像你想逼我吃掉
‎夾你精液的餅乾一樣溫暖嗎？

216
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,130
‎這傢伙差點害我不敢吃全穀物餅乾

217
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:32,299
‎你一週前在我家沙發上射精

218
00:10:32,383 --> 00:10:35,052
‎好，這是叫我回廚房的信號

219
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,178
‎這些人說的對

220
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,514
‎我以前做過不光彩的事

221
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,099
‎但我對莉婭不一樣

222
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:41,767
‎她真的很特別

223
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,020
‎沒錯，她非常特別

224
00:10:45,104 --> 00:10:47,064
‎你也很特別，寶貝

225
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,107
‎這太不公平了

226
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:51,235
‎瓦爾比瑟瑞恩這種爛人能找到真愛？

227
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:55,739
‎而你這麼有吸引力，卻被潔西拒絕？

228
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,324
‎這真是天大的玩笑

229
00:10:57,408 --> 00:11:01,120
‎感恩節就是要大家齊聚一堂

230
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:03,914
‎天啊，我喜歡你的帽子

231
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,709
‎我在學校用紙做的

232
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:09,878
‎你很老還是很年輕？

233
00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:13,841
‎時間是薄皮披薩，隨你怎麼說

234
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:17,010
‎妳沒事吧，寶貝？
‎妳幾乎沒吃迷你希臘菠菜派

235
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,304
‎對，我現在肚子不是很餓

236
00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:22,808
‎快被甩了，很難有胃口

237
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,727
‎蠢蛋

238
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,813
‎葛雷，你記得我們一家人
‎第一次慶祝感恩節嗎？

239
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:28,939
‎記得

240
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,524
‎小豆豆，我們剛生下妳

241
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,569
‎妳媽累壞了，所以我得張羅食物

242
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:34,903
‎他跑去速食餐廳

243
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:38,782
‎好，法官大人，先聽我解釋
‎是妳說想吃熱騰騰的餐點

244
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,827
‎老天，我叔叔在速食餐廳心臟病發

245
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,787
‎真遺憾，寶貝

246
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,956
‎識相點，凱特琳，可惡耶

247
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,376
‎別鬧了，他們重燃愛火

248
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:51,086
‎火旺得跟什麼一樣

249
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,337
‎不好意思

250
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,631
‎各位，一家人的對話讓我覺得

251
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:58,093
‎此刻最適合
‎跟妳分享這天大的消息，小豆豆

252
00:11:58,177 --> 00:11:59,386
‎要嗎，葛雷？現在說？

253
00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:03,432
‎天啊，他要在感恩節
‎為了我媽甩掉凱特琳？

254
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:08,187
‎討厭鬼，祝妳在黑色星期五
‎順利找到特價的老二

255
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,563
‎-我跟凱特琳…
‎-好緊張

256
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,607
‎…在她的肚子裡做出一個人了

257
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:12,691
‎-等等，什麼？
‎-什麼？

258
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,860
‎我們要有小孩了

259
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,153
‎-不要
‎-完了

260
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,696
‎我們要組織一個家庭

261
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:20,199
‎你已經有一個家庭了，混球

262
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,618
‎我們不要一個討人厭的小孩

263
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,328
‎我對小孩沒輒

264
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,413
‎我可以先離席嗎？

265
00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:28,081
‎-潔西
‎-小豆豆，妳沒事吧？

266
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:32,252
‎我沒事，我只是要馬上離開這裡

267
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,964
‎瓦爾那個誰
‎覺得我的火雞怎樣？好吃吧？

268
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,091
‎非常好吃，高博曼先生

269
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,219
‎黛安，妳覺得我的火雞怎麼樣？

270
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,054
‎不會讓妳討厭妳老公嗎？

271
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:45,098
‎不會，不過肉質很濕嫩
‎馬諦，你有什麼秘訣？

272
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:46,225
‎-怒氣
‎-我想也是

273
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,227
‎一定要羞辱這隻雞

274
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,062
‎這樣才能留住肉汁

275
00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:53,774
‎這招是跟我爸學的，祖傳三代

276
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,818
‎這是高博曼家的作法

277
00:12:55,901 --> 00:13:00,280
‎我記得每年感恩節
‎我爸會站在那隻沒用的雞前面

278
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:01,824
‎你這愚蠢的火雞

279
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:05,244
‎我的家人會把你吃下肚
‎然後再拉出來，因為你一無是處

280
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,746
‎在他之前是我的斯拉摩爺爺

281
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,999
‎在經濟大蕭條時期
‎他只能抓街上的鴿子

282
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:14,294
‎但他會大罵那隻鴿子
‎罵到味道像火雞才住口

283
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:17,339
‎你這愚蠢的鴿子，令人厭惡的鳥類

284
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,967
‎你是有翅膀的老鼠，僅是如此而已

285
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:23,470
‎誰能忘記我住在
‎猶太小村莊的曾祖父海依姆

286
00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:25,514
‎什麼禽類都沒有

287
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,724
‎你這荒謬至極的包心菜

288
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:31,186
‎連上帝都不給你成為萵苣的榮耀

289
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,566
‎父親，你的故事說得真精彩

290
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:38,861
‎但是今晚，我不會吃你的後車廂火雞

291
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:39,778
‎慘了

292
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,864
‎不吃我的火雞是什麼意思？

293
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:43,991
‎它不會通過我的嘴唇

294
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,410
‎會的，它會通過的

295
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,329
‎-你要吃我的火雞
‎-我才不要，你這老頭子

296
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,540
‎-太誇張了
‎-馬諦、安德魯，別鬧了

297
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:54,042
‎我不會吃費南多，牠很擅長傾聽

298
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:55,836
‎艾略特，快想辦法

299
00:13:55,919 --> 00:14:00,215
‎加油，安德魯，加油，馬諦
‎今天是感恩節，我愛你們

300
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:01,174
‎馬諦

301
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:04,219
‎-吃下去，你這不知感恩的臭小子
‎-捏住他的鼻子

302
00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,679
‎我恨你

303
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,723
‎我希望我爸是柏奇醫生

304
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:10,017
‎我希望我兒子是那隻火雞

305
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,352
‎夠了，你們兩個，我們要走了

306
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:15,314
‎艾略特、黛安
‎你們一定很後悔邀請我們

307
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,231
‎只有一點點

308
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,358
‎是這樣嗎？我要把火雞帶走

309
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,027
‎快點裝進盒子，我們走吧

310
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:23,155
‎安德魯，我拍了你爸逼你吃的影片

311
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,865
‎讓你未來做治療的時候用

312
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:28,952
‎我要取名為
‎“老爸拿肉猛塞兒子的臉”

313
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:33,540
‎我準備要大吃特吃了，各位
‎把食物丟進我嘴裡吧

314
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:35,000
‎米希，別鬧了

315
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:40,005
‎我的大屁股指尖沒有很鬧

316
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,633
‎完了，這瘋婆子會害我們被發現

317
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,552
‎真厲害，它好漂亮

318
00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:47,971
‎各位家人，我一開始

319
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:50,807
‎想先確認我們在故土之上

320
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:54,603
‎當然還要感謝我貼心的莫妮卡

321
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:59,274
‎因為我這顆心臟不為別人
‎只為妳而跳動，寶貝

322
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,444
‎天啊，賽勒斯

323
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,571
‎是我弄的嗎？

324
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,159
‎米希，妳是怎麼回事？

325
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,453
‎那孩子嗨到不行

326
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:12,746
‎-嗨？不會的
‎-什麼？

327
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,290
‎我不嗨，我很低潮

328
00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:18,877
‎天啊，我女兒受毒品影響了

329
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,129
‎孩子們，妳們去散步時發生什麼事？

330
00:15:21,213 --> 00:15:23,799
‎-莉娜給她哈草
‎-我沒有，是米希搶過去的

331
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:27,678
‎真不敢相信妳們這些搗蛋鬼
‎在她的面前抽大麻

332
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:32,683
‎賽勒斯包里斯佛曼葛林沃
‎我知道你不能叫我的女兒搗蛋鬼

333
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,310
‎-謝了，媽
‎-別說了，妳們兩個完了

334
00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:38,188
‎-米希，搞什麼？
‎-為什麼要表現得這麼差？

335
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:42,401
‎莫娜，我不想再嗑藥精神恍惚了

336
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,860
‎我也嚇壞了

337
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:47,447
‎妳奶奶眼睛直勾勾地看著我
‎她好像看得到我

338
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:49,449
‎妳得離開，莫娜

339
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,076
‎靠

340
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:55,539
‎感恩節快樂，你這可悲的小廢物

341
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,708
‎天啊，杰，你在我家垃圾桶…

342
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,751
‎你要幹那隻火雞嗎？

343
00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:03,797
‎什麼？我才不會幹垃圾桶裡的火雞
‎你不要把我想得那麼低級

344
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,716
‎-好
‎-垃圾桶的火雞？

345
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,342
‎那是拿來吃的

346
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:09,720
‎你知道瓦爾跟莉婭在交往嗎？

347
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,848
‎什麼？天啊，太不可思議了

348
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,308
‎-這是說我會變成你的叔叔
‎-不會的

349
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:19,604
‎不能這樣對杰叔叔說話，你要尊重我

350
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,690
‎杰，快滾出我家

351
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,109
‎路達，我們走

352
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:29,031
‎桶子，我在回收桶拉屎了

353
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:30,699
‎我爸是不折不扣的王八蛋

354
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,493
‎我很生氣、丟臉，覺得受辱

355
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:35,912
‎我什麼都有，小莫

356
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,081
‎老實說，我不曉得要說什麼

357
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,709
‎-也許該讓觀眾決定
‎-什麼？

358
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:44,379
‎要我叫安德魯打手槍還是自殺？

359
00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:48,508
‎-不要，先別…
‎-發送“打”或“死”的簡訊到6969

360
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:49,926
‎你在搞什麼？

361
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,136
‎票數真接近

362
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,137
‎好嚇人

363
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,930
‎這些是節目的粉絲

364
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:55,599
‎希望你現在還硬得起來

365
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,893
‎我要怎麼硬起來？我好餓

366
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,978
‎還剩下一些後車廂火雞

367
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:02,939
‎吃點白肉讓你有力氣打手槍？

368
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,901
‎拿點肉汁讓你可以榨出汁

369
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:08,278
‎-拿些填料讓你…
‎-好，我們懂，夠了

370
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,280
‎不如我們去問觀眾

371
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,282
‎看看他們還要不要聽？

372
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:16,161
‎拜託，為什麼要把這當選項？

373
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,455
‎我沒有，這真的很嚇人

374
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,333
‎妳怎麼能接受這種事？

375
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:24,169
‎我不知道，凱特琳和妳爸是天作之合

376
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,005
‎妳是說他們都很蠢
‎不知道保險套怎麼用？

377
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:30,175
‎潔西，妳知道妳爸買不起保險套

378
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,636
‎重點是凱特琳讓妳爸很幸福

379
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,597
‎-但妳跟爸也一起笑開懷
‎-我們試著一同相處

380
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:40,477
‎我以為你們會…我也說不上來，算了

381
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,728
‎親愛的，妳以為…

382
00:17:41,812 --> 00:17:44,356
‎很傻，我知道，就當沒這回事

383
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,441
‎親愛的，我愛妳爸

384
00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:49,611
‎因為妳，我們會永遠在對方的生活裡

385
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,363
‎但我喜歡女人

386
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:54,366
‎我想撫摸她們、擁抱她們、嗅聞她們

387
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:57,202
‎-好了，媽
‎-她們好誘人，我還能說什麼？

388
00:17:57,285 --> 00:18:00,038
‎敲敲門？小豆豆，妳還好嗎？

389
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,165
‎-不好，爸
‎-說不定這能讓妳開心起來

390
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,376
‎妳準備見討人厭的小孩了嗎？

391
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:06,837
‎-你在說什麼？
‎-很可愛吧？

392
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:11,383
‎我叫討人厭的小孩，幫我換尿布

393
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,885
‎討厭，它的牙齒好像尖銳的餅乾

394
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:18,098
‎我要用肥嫩的小手抓妳的頭髮

395
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:21,393
‎不好了，討人厭的小孩在戳破氣球

396
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,894
‎-什麼？
‎-好

397
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:25,355
‎我們要丟掉不用的東西，抱歉，潔西

398
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,314
‎等一下

399
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:28,150
‎保險套是有錢人用的

400
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:31,194
‎-潔西，這下糟了
‎-我知道

401
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,029
‎幸好這都不是真的

402
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,657
‎妳可以不要再打我了嗎？

403
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,618
‎好，下次我會用乾草叉來戳妳屁股

404
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,203
‎潔西，妳沒事吧？

405
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,539
‎我應該出去透透氣

406
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:45,876
‎這地方就像垃圾堆

407
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:49,546
‎-你好，小傢伙
‎-你知道嗎？我在注意你

408
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,840
‎是嗎？你有什麼發現，偵探？

409
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,134
‎我要幹你姊幹到她開心掉下淚？

410
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,969
‎“開心掉下淚”？等等，什麼？

411
00:18:56,052 --> 00:19:00,015
‎對，我要跟你姊做愛
‎在你的床上，用我的雞雞

412
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:01,975
‎感恩節快樂

413
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:06,146
‎火雞咯咯叫…

414
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:12,652
‎靠，那怒氣衝天的老禿驢好會烤火雞

415
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,738
‎-嘿
‎-你好，費南多

416
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,114
‎對不起，我在吃你

417
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,451
‎沒關係，我想給你吃我多汁的屁股
‎不過都被吃完了

418
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:24,122
‎對，我滿身汗的父親狂吃
‎彷彿那是中毒的解藥

419
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,875
‎那傢伙是野蠻人，我就是這樣認為

420
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:30,545
‎他很有事，但我一直在想他說的故事

421
00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:32,297
‎有鴿子和包心菜的故事嗎？

422
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:36,176
‎對，還有怒氣糾纏你家好幾代

423
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:39,763
‎我爺爺常自誇他發明了路怒症

424
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,933
‎這是你爸第一次過沒有爺爺的感恩節

425
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,434
‎對他來說一定很難受

426
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,895
‎我不覺得他有真正的感受

427
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:49,564
‎他好像只在意他的超細類麂皮座椅

428
00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:51,816
‎還有他愚蠢的火雞，我沒別的意思

429
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:52,943
‎沒關係

430
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,820
‎但有沒有可能我不只是一隻火雞？

431
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,572
‎什麼意思？你是鵝嗎？

432
00:19:57,656 --> 00:19:59,491
‎鵝是廢物鳥，不是

433
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:02,702
‎我的意思是說不定
‎所有憤怒的高博曼家人

434
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,413
‎表達愛意的方式就是烤出美味的火雞

435
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:06,748
‎等等，多汁的火雞

436
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,876
‎你是說你是我爸愛的語言？

437
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,503
‎-或許吧
‎-天啊

438
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:16,508
‎他想用蠻力把他的愛
‎塞進我嘴裡，而我拒絕了

439
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,678
‎對，你忙著用自己的怒氣
‎回應他的怒氣

440
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,013
‎你倒是很有獨到見解的火雞

441
00:20:22,097 --> 00:20:23,515
‎是荷爾蒙的關係

442
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:27,560
‎但安德魯，說不定
‎你可以打破高氏怒氣的循環

443
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,271
‎你們覺得呢，觀眾？

444
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,648
‎他應該打破循環還是…

445
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,149
‎不行，不要再投票了

446
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,235
‎我要自己做決定

447
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:37,779
‎真驚險

448
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,699
‎莫娜，現在我的堂姊都討厭我了

449
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:43,535
‎妳的人生糟透了

450
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:47,122
‎米莉莎，我沒想過會跟妳說這句話
‎但妳被禁足了

451
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,665
‎以後沒有課後活動

452
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,376
‎那又怎樣？反正沒人想跟我一起玩

453
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,419
‎說這個毫無意義

454
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:55,046
‎那好，以後不能聽全國公共廣播電台

455
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,840
‎他們的節目已經了無新意

456
00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:00,010
‎好，很明顯妳還是很激動

457
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,177
‎妳回房間去

458
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:04,097
‎好啊，我很樂意，而且我要拿派進去

459
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,140
‎不行，米希

460
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:08,435
‎沒有角豆莢派

461
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:11,855
‎因為妳嗑藥所以沒妳的份

462
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,190
‎這是史上最糟糕的感恩節

463
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,984
‎除了第一個感恩節

464
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:20,030
‎我們對這片土地的原住民
‎所做的事太令人羞愧了

465
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,115
‎“派”是陰道的意思

466
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:26,036
‎這是荷爾蒙怪物學校教的第二樣東西

467
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,205
‎好吃，這陰道真美味

468
00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:32,751
‎今晚真的很特別

469
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:36,504
‎平常過感恩節時
‎我要用藥哄我媽從屋頂下來

470
00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:38,631
‎我也玩得很開心

471
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,593
‎有件事妳要知道

472
00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:43,011
‎你在偷看我們嗎？

473
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:45,764
‎對，隨妳怎麼說，那不是重點

474
00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,932
‎你猜這個天才雜碎王跟我說什麼

475
00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:49,225
‎-你是說瓦爾？
‎-對

476
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:53,730
‎那個騙子說他想跟妳做愛
‎做到妳開心掉下淚來

477
00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:57,400
‎聽起來是很正面的體驗

478
00:21:57,484 --> 00:22:00,111
‎而且這不關你的事，晚安，尼克

479
00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:01,363
‎這是怎樣？

480
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:03,865
‎瓦爾是壞人，莉婭卻不在意？

481
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:07,285
‎你是好人，潔西不在意你

482
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:09,162
‎愛情是不是最糟糕的事？

483
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,081
‎等等，你怎麼能說這種話？

484
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,415
‎你是愛蟲

485
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,709
‎這表示我比任何人都懂

486
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:16,169
‎我是說，不要誤會我

487
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:21,758
‎跟女生在一起令人興奮的程度
‎就跟手上握著星星一樣

488
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,468
‎-真的嗎？
‎-但是一近看

489
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:28,973
‎那顆星星會炸掉你的臉
‎融化骨頭外層的皮膚

490
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:32,477
‎好極了，謝謝你出現
‎毀了我軟爛的人生

491
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,895
‎等等，小兄弟

492
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,648
‎天啊，感恩蟾蜍，又要說教了

493
00:22:36,731 --> 00:22:39,150
‎-當然，今天是感恩節
‎-我不聽

494
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:40,652
‎我心情很差的時候

495
00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:44,739
‎我喜歡列出我的感謝清單

496
00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:45,657
‎去你的

497
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:48,701
‎我很感謝我的家人

498
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:49,661
‎大家一起唱

499
00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:51,329
‎-好點了嗎？
‎-一點點

500
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,581
‎我喜歡你打牠時，牠發出的聲音

501
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:57,752
‎就這樣，我最後剩下的萬聖節糖果

502
00:22:57,836 --> 00:23:01,548
‎包裝紙上面寫著“隨手包”
‎一點也沒有隨手的感覺

503
00:23:01,631 --> 00:23:04,300
‎天啊，我應該要表演單口相聲嗎？
‎來吧，蘿娜

504
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:08,680
‎老天，我等不及要回家
‎在浴缸裡吃這些東西

505
00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:09,722
‎什麼事？

506
00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:12,350
‎蘿娜？靠

507
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,146
‎外面有喧嘩聲

508
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:17,605
‎會是誰呢？

509
00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:21,526
‎居然有聚寶盆

510
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:26,322
‎天父，我今年的感恩節走運了

511
00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:28,616
‎走吧，路達

512
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:32,328
‎我們回家看烤麵包機底下
‎有沒有燒焦的起司

513
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:38,042
‎壓力很大
‎我已經感覺到聖誕節的壓力了

514
00:23:39,961 --> 00:23:41,254
‎臭小子，你想幹嘛？

515
00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:44,007
‎我吃了一點你的烤雞，味道很好

516
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,092
‎是吧？你應該趁熱吃的

517
00:23:46,176 --> 00:23:48,511
‎你說的對，老爸，我應該趁熱吃

518
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,513
‎等一下

519
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:51,931
‎你同意我說的話？

520
00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:54,309
‎你想納入我的健保？

521
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:56,352
‎不是，我知道，他們全是騙子

522
00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:57,937
‎我只想聊聊

523
00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:00,940
‎爸，今年沒去佛羅里達很不好過吧？

524
00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:03,651
‎說不上來，感覺不一樣

525
00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:05,820
‎對，我也是這樣想

526
00:24:05,904 --> 00:24:09,324
‎那你…那個…你會想爺爺嗎？

527
00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:12,535
‎我當然會想他，他是我爸爸
‎這是哪門子的問題？

528
00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:14,537
‎但是爸爸，他人很壞耶

529
00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:16,456
‎他人不壞，他是強悍

530
00:24:16,539 --> 00:24:18,124
‎他很強悍，就像我很強悍一樣

531
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:21,544
‎或許他不曉得如何表達
‎但我知道他愛我

532
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,379
‎我也愛你，爸爸

533
00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:28,510
‎很高興你喜歡吃火雞，兒子
‎現在回想起來

534
00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:31,471
‎很抱歉我打電話投的票不順你心

535
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:38,144
‎是妳來了，怎麼啦？

536
00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:41,981
‎聽著，針對莎蜜拉的事
‎我知道妳還在生我的氣

537
00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:45,693
‎但我的人生一團亂
‎我很需要有人跟我聊聊

538
00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:48,780
‎靠，好，怎麼了嗎？

539
00:24:48,863 --> 00:24:51,491
‎我爸媽絕對不會復合

540
00:24:51,574 --> 00:24:53,535
‎親愛的猶太妹子

541
00:24:53,618 --> 00:24:57,580
‎我爸跟討人鬼姊要生出
‎有餅乾牙齒的討厭鬼寶寶

542
00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:58,873
‎先停一下

543
00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:02,669
‎我家好像正式結束了

544
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:05,922
‎很遺憾，潔西，這感覺好差

545
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:09,425
‎對不起我拆散了妳和莎蜜拉

546
00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:11,052
‎沒關係

547
00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:14,013
‎這不是妳的錯，雖然有點算是

548
00:25:14,097 --> 00:25:15,807
‎但我還是愛妳

549
00:25:16,766 --> 00:25:17,934
‎我也愛妳

550
00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:20,937
‎她是不是最棒的？

551
00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:22,814
‎對，她真的是

552
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:25,358
‎我很高興妳過來，我好想妳

553
00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:26,568
‎我也好想妳

554
00:25:29,404 --> 00:25:31,614
‎潔西，這太性感了

555
00:25:31,698 --> 00:25:32,532
‎我知道

556
00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:34,450
‎我沒料到會是這樣

557
00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:36,953
‎可惜這不是真的，乾草叉

558
00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:40,290
‎-幹嘛戳我？
‎-我就說呼巴掌比較好

559
00:25:40,373 --> 00:25:41,749
‎妳沒事吧？

560
00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:46,045
‎對不起，其實…我要回家了，行嗎？

561
00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:48,172
‎謝謝妳跟我說話，再見

562
00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:50,466
‎等等，潔西，妳不是想跟她喇舌？

563
00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:53,136
‎你好，感恩蟾蜍

564
00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:55,930
‎嗨，康妮，感恩節快樂

565
00:25:56,014 --> 00:25:58,683
‎我自己很感謝妳的大胸部

566
00:25:58,766 --> 00:26:00,435
‎能讓我把頭埋進妳胸部左右蹭嗎？

567
00:26:00,518 --> 00:26:02,812
‎今天是感恩節，寶貝，上吧

568
00:26:04,355 --> 00:26:05,982
‎謝謝妳的胸器

569
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,943
‎感恩節快樂

570
00:26:59,035 --> 00:27:00,995
‎字幕翻譯：林佩孜