1 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,490 -[chattering] -[laughing] 2 00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:14,869 -[gasps] Jesus! -Count Nickula! 3 00:00:14,952 --> 00:00:17,747 Where's your costume? It's Halloween! 4 00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:20,207 The craziest night of the world! 5 00:00:20,291 --> 00:00:21,500 You might get laid! 6 00:00:21,584 --> 00:00:22,877 You might get candy! 7 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,211 You might get stabbed! 8 00:00:24,295 --> 00:00:26,756 Halloween is Christmas for the bad kids. 9 00:00:26,839 --> 00:00:28,758 Ugh, fine. You want me to wear a costume? 10 00:00:28,841 --> 00:00:31,552 How's this? I'm a guy in a hat. All right? 11 00:00:31,635 --> 00:00:32,595 That's nothing! 12 00:00:32,678 --> 00:00:36,932 You can't go trickin' and a-treatin' like you're just some asshole from Boston! 13 00:00:37,016 --> 00:00:38,350 I'm not going trick-or-treating. 14 00:00:38,434 --> 00:00:42,480 Jay and Lola are dragging Andrew and me to this dumb haunted house thing. 15 00:00:42,563 --> 00:00:45,066 Damn! Why are you being such a downer, kid? 16 00:00:45,149 --> 00:00:47,985 'Cause everything sucks and I'm gonna have to see Jessi tonight. 17 00:00:48,069 --> 00:00:50,696 Fire crotch? Why don't you wanna see her? 18 00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:52,073 Because he tried to kiss her! 19 00:00:52,156 --> 00:00:53,199 And she went psycho. 20 00:00:53,282 --> 00:00:55,659 You were vulnerable, and you paid the price. 21 00:00:55,743 --> 00:00:56,744 Yeah, exactly. 22 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,788 When you let people in, you just get hurt. 23 00:00:58,871 --> 00:01:02,458 Whoa, Nick. You sound like Kurt Cobain. 24 00:01:02,541 --> 00:01:05,711 He's the one ghost nobody wants to hang out with. 25 00:01:05,795 --> 00:01:09,006 ♪ He's a bummer! ♪ 26 00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:11,300 You know what? Fuck Halloween. Fuck everybody! 27 00:01:11,383 --> 00:01:15,262 -[Tito] That's the spirit! -[groans] I'm a little worried about Nick. 28 00:01:15,346 --> 00:01:17,306 You're worried that he has  to go the bathroom, 29 00:01:17,389 --> 00:01:19,100 but he can't get his hot dog suit off? 30 00:01:19,183 --> 00:01:20,976 Do you have to go to the bathroom, Rick? 31 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:21,977 Yes, please! 32 00:01:22,061 --> 00:01:24,063 ["Changes" by Charles Bradley plays] 33 00:01:24,271 --> 00:01:29,860 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 34 00:01:33,823 --> 00:01:39,578 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 35 00:01:40,162 --> 00:01:42,540 ♪ Oh, in my life ♪ 36 00:01:43,707 --> 00:01:46,961 ♪ Oh, ooh, ooh! ♪ 37 00:01:55,261 --> 00:01:56,762 And now I'm home, 38 00:01:56,846 --> 00:01:58,848 but I still have this nagging feeling 39 00:01:58,931 --> 00:02:00,683 that something's just wrong 40 00:02:00,766 --> 00:02:02,351 and that I'm just a loser. 41 00:02:02,434 --> 00:02:04,562 Jessi, what you're describing... 42 00:02:04,645 --> 00:02:05,604 that's anxiety. 43 00:02:05,688 --> 00:02:07,857 [gasps] She's talking about me! 44 00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:11,694 Anxiety is that feeling we get inside that there's danger all around us. 45 00:02:11,777 --> 00:02:12,653 I feel so seen! 46 00:02:12,736 --> 00:02:14,655 You're also depressed. 47 00:02:14,738 --> 00:02:16,657 You had yellow mustard on a tortilla 48 00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:18,159 -for dinner last night. -Oof. 49 00:02:18,242 --> 00:02:20,369 And when I feel anxious, you know what I do? 50 00:02:20,452 --> 00:02:22,538 I practice my gratitude. 51 00:02:22,621 --> 00:02:25,332 -Yeah, I'm just not feeling, um... -[retching] 52 00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:26,625 ...very grateful right now. 53 00:02:26,709 --> 00:02:31,338 Well, gratitude, like your pelvic floor, is a muscle that needs to be strengthened. 54 00:02:31,422 --> 00:02:33,340 -In my case, a lot. -Okay. 55 00:02:33,424 --> 00:02:36,135 For example, one thing I am very grateful for 56 00:02:36,218 --> 00:02:37,845 is my beautiful collection. 57 00:02:37,928 --> 00:02:40,598 Oh, yeah, I noticed. So many frogs. 58 00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:44,101 [laughs] Oh, Jessi!  They're not frogs. They're toads. 59 00:02:44,185 --> 00:02:46,103 -What's the difference? -[laughs] 60 00:02:46,187 --> 00:02:48,314 Please stop! I might wet myself! 61 00:02:48,397 --> 00:02:50,024 We can't have that happen again. 62 00:02:50,107 --> 00:02:52,693 Now, why don't you tell me what you're grateful for, hmm? 63 00:02:52,776 --> 00:02:55,362 Uh, I guess I'm grateful for my parents. 64 00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:56,906 Oh, God, why? 65 00:02:56,989 --> 00:03:01,076 Your daddy owes more on his recumbent bike than the thing is worth. 66 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,205 Shannon puts so much pressure on you, you might explode! 67 00:03:04,288 --> 00:03:05,831 You know what? I don't think this is for me. 68 00:03:05,915 --> 00:03:07,291 Well, it takes practice. 69 00:03:07,374 --> 00:03:09,710 Will you practice with me next week, Jessi? 70 00:03:09,793 --> 00:03:11,128 Um, whatever. Yeah. 71 00:03:11,212 --> 00:03:12,588 Happy Halloween! 72 00:03:12,671 --> 00:03:13,714 Hi, Jessi. 73 00:03:13,797 --> 00:03:15,090 Hi, Coach Steve. 74 00:03:15,174 --> 00:03:17,968 Oh, God, we go to the same therapist? Fuck! 75 00:03:18,052 --> 00:03:20,512 Oh, yeah, I'm here for couples counseling. 76 00:03:20,596 --> 00:03:21,972 Really? With who? 77 00:03:22,056 --> 00:03:24,183 None of your shit business,  you fucking slut! 78 00:03:24,266 --> 00:03:26,810 -Whoa! -Sorry, he's a bad mitten. 79 00:03:26,894 --> 00:03:28,229 But he's working on it. 80 00:03:28,312 --> 00:03:32,066 Why don't you work on putting your mouth around the barrel of a fucking shotgun? 81 00:03:32,149 --> 00:03:34,401 Okay. Bye, Coach Steve. 82 00:03:34,485 --> 00:03:37,363 Bye, Jessi. You and me are the same now! 83 00:03:37,947 --> 00:03:41,575 Oh, I don't know, the Nanshe costume feels kinda dorky now, doesn't it? 84 00:03:41,659 --> 00:03:43,577 Not if you make it sexy. 85 00:03:43,661 --> 00:03:47,081 Cut it off short! Then you'll get all the candy. 86 00:03:47,164 --> 00:03:48,832 What? I can't wear that! 87 00:03:48,916 --> 00:03:52,169 Everyone will see my, you know, Yoni Danza. 88 00:03:52,253 --> 00:03:53,212 You mean, your twat? 89 00:03:53,295 --> 00:03:54,421 Mona! 90 00:03:54,505 --> 00:03:55,506 -What? -Ugh! 91 00:03:55,589 --> 00:03:59,385 I don't wanna be too sexy, and I don't wanna be too dorky. 92 00:03:59,468 --> 00:04:02,012 It's sort of just like, "Who am I now?" 93 00:04:02,096 --> 00:04:04,473 [Monica] Missy, Jessi's here! 94 00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:08,102 Well, I guess this is the year I say farewell to childish fancy 95 00:04:08,185 --> 00:04:10,688 and just go as... as nobody. 96 00:04:10,771 --> 00:04:12,106 [doorbell rings] 97 00:04:12,189 --> 00:04:14,692 -Trick or treat! -Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Treat! 98 00:04:14,775 --> 00:04:16,986 Here's an unwearable V-neck undershirt for you, 99 00:04:17,069 --> 00:04:19,405 a tiny conditioner from Courtyard by Marriott, 100 00:04:19,488 --> 00:04:21,907 and for you, a charger for my old PalmPilot. 101 00:04:21,991 --> 00:04:24,618 -Now scram, I've already called the cops. -[siren wails] 102 00:04:25,411 --> 00:04:26,954 Oh, good, you didn't dress up either. 103 00:04:27,037 --> 00:04:30,332 What are you talking about? I'm Jack Nicholson in As Good as It Gets. 104 00:04:30,416 --> 00:04:33,669 Look, I have bacon in my pocket to attract Greg Kinnear's dog. 105 00:04:33,752 --> 00:04:35,212 Cool reference, cool vibe, Andrew. 106 00:04:35,296 --> 00:04:37,006 Now be careful out there, Andrew. 107 00:04:37,089 --> 00:04:40,884 Statistically, Halloween is the most dangerous night of the year. 108 00:04:40,968 --> 00:04:42,594 Death lurks around every corner. 109 00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:44,179 There are so many drunk drivers. 110 00:04:44,263 --> 00:04:46,890 Don't forget razor blades in candy bars! 111 00:04:46,974 --> 00:04:50,185 And child molesters dressed up as leaf piles! 112 00:04:50,269 --> 00:04:52,021 Maybe you should go without me. 113 00:04:52,104 --> 00:04:55,065 With my fat can, I'm major pedophile bait. 114 00:04:55,149 --> 00:04:56,066 No, you're coming. 115 00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:59,278 I didn't even want to go to this stupid haunted sorority house. 116 00:04:59,361 --> 00:05:01,238 Ooh, did somebody say "sorority"? 117 00:05:01,322 --> 00:05:02,448 They're doing a haunted house 118 00:05:02,531 --> 00:05:05,034 where those sorority girls got murdered last year. 119 00:05:05,117 --> 00:05:07,161 Maybe we'll do a panty raid, you know? 120 00:05:07,244 --> 00:05:11,040 Steal their underpants? And then-- then they're your underpants. 121 00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:13,083 And then what? I wear them? 122 00:05:13,167 --> 00:05:15,252 Yes! Shout-out to Marv Albert. 123 00:05:15,336 --> 00:05:18,505 -Hi! -Ruth Bader Ginsberg! I love it! 124 00:05:18,589 --> 00:05:19,923 Can I ask, what are you? 125 00:05:20,007 --> 00:05:21,133 Gianni Versace. 126 00:05:21,216 --> 00:05:24,094 It was a couples costume. Aiden was gonna be Andrew Cunanan, 127 00:05:24,178 --> 00:05:26,221 and we had this cinnamon stick with cooked spaghetti-- 128 00:05:26,305 --> 00:05:28,557 For Donatella! Of course, it looks just like her. 129 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,476 But Aiden and I aren't really talking right now. 130 00:05:30,559 --> 00:05:32,353 Aww, are you still ghosting him? 131 00:05:32,436 --> 00:05:37,232 No, ghosting is when you give a hand job but from under the bed. Ooh, spooky! 132 00:05:37,316 --> 00:05:38,984 I don't even know what to say to Aiden. 133 00:05:39,068 --> 00:05:41,445 My mom's just making me feel so weird about our relationship. 134 00:05:41,528 --> 00:05:43,197 Who cares what your mom thinks? 135 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:45,699 She's not a sexy boy. Aiden is. 136 00:05:45,783 --> 00:05:47,493 If Aiden were your mom, then your mom would-- 137 00:05:47,576 --> 00:05:49,495 You know what? I don't want to talk about it anymore. 138 00:05:49,578 --> 00:05:51,455 Missy, what are you supposed to be this year? 139 00:05:51,538 --> 00:05:52,915 Ugh! Defeated. 140 00:05:52,998 --> 00:05:56,251 I couldn't decide on a costume, so I just gave up. Ta-da! 141 00:05:56,335 --> 00:06:01,256 Ugh, I can't believe you passed up Aiden's teen tush for these bummer broads. 142 00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,509 Shut up, you limp nobody. 143 00:06:03,592 --> 00:06:05,636 I'll slice that dick right off your face. 144 00:06:05,719 --> 00:06:08,389 What language is that? You're-- you're very beautiful. 145 00:06:08,472 --> 00:06:10,265 English, you fucking idiot. 146 00:06:10,349 --> 00:06:12,726 Sweetheart, if you're gonna work in this country, 147 00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:14,228 you better learn the language. 148 00:06:14,311 --> 00:06:16,814 -Fuck off. -Now, that I understand. 149 00:06:16,897 --> 00:06:18,982 You wanna put your fingy in my sphincty. 150 00:06:19,066 --> 00:06:22,569 Holy shit, this place is terrifying! 151 00:06:22,653 --> 00:06:25,697 Just calm down, it's a haunted house. Nobody's dying. 152 00:06:25,781 --> 00:06:27,908 Oh, God! Active shooter! 153 00:06:27,991 --> 00:06:29,118 This is how I'm gonna die! 154 00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:31,328 You've just been killed by Bonnie... 155 00:06:31,412 --> 00:06:32,913 And Clyde! 156 00:06:32,996 --> 00:06:34,331 Best... [imitates gunfire] 157 00:06:34,415 --> 00:06:36,125 ...couples... [imitates gunfire] 158 00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:37,876 ...costume... [imitates gunfire] 159 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,379 ...ever! [imitates gunfire] 160 00:06:40,462 --> 00:06:43,298 Oh, boy, this is as bad as it gets! 161 00:06:43,382 --> 00:06:44,258 You get it, Nick? 162 00:06:44,341 --> 00:06:46,260 Because of the movie. With Jack. 163 00:06:46,343 --> 00:06:48,804 I don't know who Jack is, okay? I don't like movies. 164 00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:51,765 I like watching YouTube videos two inches  from my face. 165 00:06:51,849 --> 00:06:54,935 This horrority house is gonna be lit! 166 00:06:55,018 --> 00:06:57,354 Yeah, the Bridgeton Chutney said it's, and I quote, 167 00:06:57,438 --> 00:07:01,275 "A tasteless cash grab and a slap in the face to the victims' families," 168 00:07:01,358 --> 00:07:02,901 -end quote. -Hey, guys! 169 00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:03,986 Greetings, Jessi. 170 00:07:04,069 --> 00:07:05,279 Hello, Newman. 171 00:07:05,362 --> 00:07:08,407 Rick, we need to talk about this Nick and Jessi situation. 172 00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,284 How they're gonna get so much candy? 173 00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:12,411 No, how Nick was an asshole. 174 00:07:12,494 --> 00:07:14,872 I'm sorry, are you his hormone monster? 175 00:07:14,955 --> 00:07:16,832 Oh, you know what? You're right. 176 00:07:16,915 --> 00:07:18,709 He's not my concern anymore. 177 00:07:18,792 --> 00:07:20,586 You're very wise. Thank you. 178 00:07:20,669 --> 00:07:24,214 No, I'm confused. Are you his hormone monster? 179 00:07:24,298 --> 00:07:26,592 Oh, no, honey, you are. 180 00:07:26,675 --> 00:07:30,721 Oh, Connie, my dear, I am a hot dog. 181 00:07:30,804 --> 00:07:32,139 All right, pledges, 182 00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:35,476 after you sign the waiver, get your frosh asses into the common room. 183 00:07:35,559 --> 00:07:37,895 Oh, Jesus, we sign a waiver? 184 00:07:37,978 --> 00:07:40,814 Once you sign the waiver, they can do whatever they want to you. 185 00:07:40,898 --> 00:07:44,318 Oh, yeah, I heard these sorority chicks can full-on stab you. 186 00:07:44,401 --> 00:07:46,445 [panting] I feel faint. 187 00:07:46,528 --> 00:07:47,654 Just breathe, Andrew. 188 00:07:47,738 --> 00:07:51,200 Here we go, in for four seconds and out for four seconds. 189 00:07:51,283 --> 00:07:53,118 Siri, I need to relax. 190 00:07:53,202 --> 00:07:56,830 Set a repeating timer for four seconds and have the alarm be a siren! 191 00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:59,249 -Babe, do you have our money? -Babe, I thought you were bringing it. 192 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:03,128 Babe, my mom took my allowance to pay for her boyfriend's Invisalign. 193 00:08:03,212 --> 00:08:06,548 Babe, I don't keep money at my house because my brothers burn it! 194 00:08:06,632 --> 00:08:08,550 [chuckles] Uh, excuse me. 195 00:08:08,634 --> 00:08:11,762 Do you by any chance accept close-up magic tricks in lieu of payment? 196 00:08:11,845 --> 00:08:13,305 Or sexual flavors? 197 00:08:13,388 --> 00:08:15,807 Oh, my God! Are you freaks kidding me right now? 198 00:08:15,891 --> 00:08:17,267 Money is everything to me. 199 00:08:17,351 --> 00:08:20,145 If you can't pay, you need to get lost, losers. 200 00:08:20,646 --> 00:08:21,688 This is such bullshit! 201 00:08:21,772 --> 00:08:24,733 Yeah, this is the worst thing that's ever happened at this house 202 00:08:24,816 --> 00:08:29,238 where three girls' ponytails and faces  got, like, chopped off! 203 00:08:29,321 --> 00:08:30,906 [dramatic music plays] 204 00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:34,076 Welcome to Kappa Kappa Kill! 205 00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:35,035 K-K-K! 206 00:08:35,118 --> 00:08:36,203 Oh, wow. 207 00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:38,163 Okay, just breathe. 208 00:08:38,247 --> 00:08:39,706 -[siren wails] -Oh, my God! Siren! 209 00:08:39,790 --> 00:08:41,250 On this night last year, 210 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:43,544 three girls were killed by the Ponytail Killer 211 00:08:43,627 --> 00:08:45,170 at a party just like this. 212 00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:47,881 Tonight, we're looking for new blood! 213 00:08:47,965 --> 00:08:49,174 [Missy, Andrew screaming] 214 00:08:49,258 --> 00:08:51,760 Oh, I thought this was gonna be sexy. 215 00:08:51,843 --> 00:08:54,680 I thought it was gonna be like one  of those escape rooms, 216 00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:57,933 where you show up and all your friends tell you that you need to stop drinking. 217 00:08:58,058 --> 00:09:00,143 Uh, I think that was an intervention. 218 00:09:00,227 --> 00:09:02,229 Well, I escaped. 219 00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:03,146 Who are you? 220 00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:06,149 You're gonna be bad for me, but I know I can't get enough of you. 221 00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:08,026 Shh! I'm trying to listen to the play. 222 00:09:08,110 --> 00:09:09,861 Oh, sorry, Ben Brantley. 223 00:09:09,945 --> 00:09:11,947 -Hey! -What the fuck is this? 224 00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:13,115 [Rick] Wheee! 225 00:09:13,198 --> 00:09:17,953 Okay, now everyone raise your cups of "slut juice," 226 00:09:18,036 --> 00:09:21,206 'cause it's time to toast to you, our new pledges! 227 00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:22,291 [both] Lame. 228 00:09:22,374 --> 00:09:24,001 To Kappa Kappa Kill! 229 00:09:24,084 --> 00:09:25,210 [all] K-K-K! 230 00:09:25,294 --> 00:09:27,004 No, I absolutely will not say that. 231 00:09:27,087 --> 00:09:28,880 Drink, bitches! 232 00:09:28,964 --> 00:09:30,799 Whoa, this tastes weird. 233 00:09:30,882 --> 00:09:33,218 [distorted] Does anybody else feel funny? 234 00:09:33,302 --> 00:09:34,886 [distorted] Am I allergic to slut juice? 235 00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:38,599 [distorted cackling] 236 00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:40,642 This sucks! 237 00:09:40,726 --> 00:09:44,646 Yeah, if I wanted to be locked out  of a house, I'd go home. 238 00:09:44,730 --> 00:09:46,732 Babe, what if we... snuck in? 239 00:09:46,815 --> 00:09:48,900 Babe, totally. But, like, how? 240 00:09:48,984 --> 00:09:51,069 You heard the ka-chunk of the lock! 241 00:09:51,153 --> 00:09:53,405 Babe, if magic has taught me anything, 242 00:09:53,488 --> 00:09:55,991 it's that there is always a second door. 243 00:09:56,074 --> 00:09:59,911 And also, you have to dye your hair inky black by the age of 30. 244 00:09:59,995 --> 00:10:01,079 Babe, hark! 245 00:10:01,163 --> 00:10:03,248 -A window. -Shall we shimmy, Bonnie? 246 00:10:03,332 --> 00:10:05,500 Clyde, I live to burgle. 247 00:10:05,584 --> 00:10:07,419 [grunting] 248 00:10:08,211 --> 00:10:09,046 What the... 249 00:10:09,129 --> 00:10:10,422 What the--? Wh--? 250 00:10:10,505 --> 00:10:12,883 Where is everyone? What's going on? 251 00:10:15,052 --> 00:10:16,678 "Protect yourself." 252 00:10:16,762 --> 00:10:19,389 From what? Cheesy haunted houses? 253 00:10:19,473 --> 00:10:20,432 [chuckles] 254 00:10:20,515 --> 00:10:21,433 Yep, here we go. 255 00:10:21,516 --> 00:10:25,729 Who are you supposed to be? Fucking Pennywhistle from If? 256 00:10:25,812 --> 00:10:28,231 I don't watch movies. 257 00:10:28,315 --> 00:10:31,860 Yeah, ooh-ooh! Be careful  with that rubber knife. 258 00:10:31,943 --> 00:10:32,778 Ow! 259 00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:35,364 You actually cut me. I'm fucking bleeding! 260 00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:36,990 [clown] Play the game! 261 00:10:37,074 --> 00:10:39,117 [Nick] What? Is this real? 262 00:10:39,201 --> 00:10:41,745 -[cackles] -Why are your nails so long and dirty? 263 00:10:41,828 --> 00:10:43,872 [grunts, screams] 264 00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:47,626 Oh! 265 00:10:47,709 --> 00:10:50,087 Oh, fuck! Stay away from me with them doo-doo nails! 266 00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,797 [clown cackles] 267 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:52,964 Wha--? [sighs] 268 00:10:53,048 --> 00:10:54,091 Where am I? 269 00:10:54,299 --> 00:10:56,385 Oh, my God! What the--? 270 00:10:56,468 --> 00:10:58,095 -What's going on? -[Nancy] Shh! 271 00:10:58,178 --> 00:10:59,805 -Nancy! -Everything's okay. 272 00:10:59,888 --> 00:11:02,724 You had an incident at the haunted house, and now you're where you belong, 273 00:11:02,808 --> 00:11:05,811 in a mental institution. 274 00:11:05,894 --> 00:11:08,480 No, no, no! I don't belong here! 275 00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:10,399 Help me out of this straitjacket, Nancy! 276 00:11:10,482 --> 00:11:13,193 Oh, I wish I could, but our hour's up. [bones cracking] 277 00:11:13,276 --> 00:11:16,113 Oh, my God, you're creeping me out! Don't walk backwards! 278 00:11:16,196 --> 00:11:17,614 [bones crack] And, ooh, just a reminder... 279 00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:19,700 I'm going to Cape Cod for the next three weeks 280 00:11:19,783 --> 00:11:22,536 to go antiquing for more toads! 281 00:11:22,619 --> 00:11:24,246 Oh, my God. More toads? 282 00:11:24,329 --> 00:11:27,290 Jessi, you're jealous! 283 00:11:27,374 --> 00:11:28,667 Goodbye! 284 00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:31,420 No! Don't leave me here! 285 00:11:32,629 --> 00:11:33,922 -Hello! -[girl laughing] 286 00:11:34,005 --> 00:11:36,925 Okay, you know what? Who's ever there, sneaking around, 287 00:11:37,509 --> 00:11:39,928 you should know that I have a green belt in capoeira. 288 00:11:40,011 --> 00:11:43,807 And if you do come at me, I will attack you until you're totally... 289 00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:45,308 just totally dead! 290 00:11:45,392 --> 00:11:46,309 What the--? 291 00:11:46,393 --> 00:11:49,062 So many me's. 292 00:11:49,146 --> 00:11:51,398 Oh! Holy Nyong'o! 293 00:11:51,481 --> 00:11:53,442 I'm about to Lupita my pants! 294 00:11:53,525 --> 00:11:56,737 Don't come any closer, you stupid sack of crap! 295 00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:59,239 Oh, great. Not this B again. 296 00:11:59,322 --> 00:12:00,490 I'm serious, Missy, 297 00:12:00,574 --> 00:12:03,368 you better run-- [gurgles] 298 00:12:03,493 --> 00:12:07,080 I'm sorry. Was Missy a bad little girl? 299 00:12:07,164 --> 00:12:10,083 Oh, Fudge Judy! I did not see that coming! 300 00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:12,169 You can't be all of us, silly. 301 00:12:12,252 --> 00:12:14,671 There can only be one. [laughs] 302 00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:16,757 [screams] 303 00:12:17,674 --> 00:12:19,217 "Matthew's Hell"? 304 00:12:19,301 --> 00:12:21,011 Are you kidding? 305 00:12:21,094 --> 00:12:24,139 This is bad local theater. I'm in heaven! 306 00:12:24,222 --> 00:12:27,809 Please tell me there's gonna be a chubby devil in a tight leotard 307 00:12:27,893 --> 00:12:29,603 that's smooshing his non-equity balls. 308 00:12:29,686 --> 00:12:32,189 Excuse me, my balls are equity. 309 00:12:32,272 --> 00:12:34,775 And I'm not chubby, I'm prosperous. 310 00:12:34,858 --> 00:12:35,692 Jerome? 311 00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:38,111 From the Season 2 episode "Guy Town"? 312 00:12:38,195 --> 00:12:39,863 Well, I didn't know you were recurring. 313 00:12:39,946 --> 00:12:43,241 Tonight, you can call me Beelzebubbe, 314 00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:46,244 otherwise known as Jew-cifer, or... 315 00:12:46,328 --> 00:12:47,954 the Devil Drives a Mazda. 316 00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:49,790 Okay, is this supposed to scare me? 317 00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:51,041 No. 318 00:12:51,124 --> 00:12:52,292 But this is. 319 00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:54,544 -[screaming] -Help me, Matthew! 320 00:12:54,628 --> 00:12:55,754 They kidnapped us! 321 00:12:57,005 --> 00:12:58,048 [screaming] 322 00:12:58,131 --> 00:12:59,382 Holy shit, Jerome! 323 00:12:59,466 --> 00:13:01,051 What the fuck is going on here? 324 00:13:01,134 --> 00:13:03,720 Sweetie pie, you must choose: 325 00:13:03,804 --> 00:13:08,016 -your family or your boyfriend. -[grunts, screams] 326 00:13:08,099 --> 00:13:09,643 And you can't have both, 327 00:13:09,726 --> 00:13:12,979 like a white couch and a cat that gets nosebleeds. 328 00:13:13,063 --> 00:13:15,565 Your cat does coke! [snarls] 329 00:13:16,483 --> 00:13:18,401 [moans] Why am I outside? 330 00:13:18,485 --> 00:13:20,153 -This isn't regular. -[tires screech] 331 00:13:20,237 --> 00:13:22,322 -Andrew! Hurry up! We're late for nothing! -[honks horn] 332 00:13:22,405 --> 00:13:24,950 Okay, didn't I go into the haunted house? 333 00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:26,576 [Marty] Just get in the car already! 334 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:31,081 I can't believe my kid paid 30 bucks just to chicken out like Al Franken! 335 00:13:31,164 --> 00:13:34,292 No, Dad, I think I was drugged or something. 336 00:13:34,376 --> 00:13:36,127 Drugged? Who would drug you? 337 00:13:36,211 --> 00:13:38,547 That's a waste of a roofie... [groans] 338 00:13:38,630 --> 00:13:40,215 Narm! Narm! 339 00:13:40,298 --> 00:13:42,092 Okay, very funny. 340 00:13:42,175 --> 00:13:44,427 What are you doing, like, a fake heart-attack drill? 341 00:13:44,511 --> 00:13:46,429 Dad. Dad! 342 00:13:46,513 --> 00:13:48,098 -Dad! Dad! -[horn honks] 343 00:13:48,181 --> 00:13:49,558 [crash] 344 00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:51,309 [shouts] 345 00:13:51,393 --> 00:13:53,395 Ah, I'm not dead. 346 00:13:53,478 --> 00:13:55,689 But you were in a terrible accident, 347 00:13:55,772 --> 00:13:57,607 and your father was killed. 348 00:13:57,691 --> 00:13:58,608 Huh? What? 349 00:13:58,692 --> 00:14:00,026 Papa! No! 350 00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:01,069 It gets worse. 351 00:14:01,152 --> 00:14:03,864 You've contracted that flesh-eating super fungus. 352 00:14:03,947 --> 00:14:06,950 The one from that New York Times article that I skimmed? 353 00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:07,951 That's the one. 354 00:14:08,034 --> 00:14:09,995 Doctor, am I going to die? 355 00:14:10,078 --> 00:14:12,038 Yes. You die... 356 00:14:12,289 --> 00:14:13,832 -now! -[flatlines] 357 00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:17,002 Oh, wait, I died. 358 00:14:17,085 --> 00:14:19,087 But now I'm on a plane? 359 00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:20,839 Ooh, and I got a window seat. 360 00:14:20,922 --> 00:14:23,383 I'm gonna hold my pee the whole time. 361 00:14:23,466 --> 00:14:26,052 [over PA] Hey, everybody, this is Coach Pilot Coach Steve. 362 00:14:26,136 --> 00:14:28,179 -Oh, no. -And if you look out your window, 363 00:14:28,263 --> 00:14:31,558 spoiler alert, there seems to be a mechanical bull issue. 364 00:14:32,142 --> 00:14:34,477 -Oh, no! -[passengers scream] 365 00:14:34,561 --> 00:14:36,271 -[grunts] -His big butt saved the day! 366 00:14:36,354 --> 00:14:37,731 Please help me! 367 00:14:37,814 --> 00:14:41,234 My entrails are being sucked out of my sphincty! 368 00:14:41,318 --> 00:14:43,904 Whoa, his chode is being sucked out too! 369 00:14:44,029 --> 00:14:46,072 No, no, no, no, no, no! 370 00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:47,532 Oh, no! 371 00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:51,995 ♪ Shimmy-shimmy Cocoa Puffs ♪ 372 00:14:52,078 --> 00:14:54,414 Land! Hoist my boy toy! 373 00:14:54,497 --> 00:14:55,707 [grunts] 374 00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:58,835 Sick assist, my shady lady. 375 00:14:58,919 --> 00:15:01,963 You two broke freaks again? I thought I already took out the trash. 376 00:15:02,047 --> 00:15:03,340 We're not trash! 377 00:15:03,423 --> 00:15:04,466 We're Lola... 378 00:15:04,549 --> 00:15:07,552 ...and Jay, you saggy-ass 20-year-old! 379 00:15:07,636 --> 00:15:09,971 [rock music playing] 380 00:15:11,306 --> 00:15:14,851 ♪ Do you know the legend Of the two children lovers ♪ 381 00:15:14,935 --> 00:15:17,896 ♪ With a boner for crime? ♪ 382 00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:22,651 ♪ They live life fast and dangerous ♪ 383 00:15:22,734 --> 00:15:25,779 ♪ Leaving caution and bodies behind ♪ 384 00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:27,864 -[grunts] -[cat yowls] 385 00:15:29,199 --> 00:15:32,953 ♪ Satan's flames have the mortal names ♪ 386 00:15:33,036 --> 00:15:35,622 ♪ Of Lola and Jay ♪ 387 00:15:35,705 --> 00:15:37,958 ♪ Lola and Jay ♪ 388 00:15:38,083 --> 00:15:41,753 ♪ Passion's high when the bullets fly ♪ 389 00:15:41,836 --> 00:15:44,714 ♪ With Lola and Jay ♪ 390 00:15:44,798 --> 00:15:46,132 ♪ Lola ♪ 391 00:15:46,216 --> 00:15:48,009 ♪ And Jay ♪ 392 00:15:49,803 --> 00:15:52,639 [cackles] 393 00:15:52,722 --> 00:15:56,017 [screams] I've gotta protect myself! 394 00:15:56,101 --> 00:15:56,935 [grunts] 395 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,231 Oh, doo-doo toenails. 396 00:16:02,148 --> 00:16:03,942 [Nick whimpers] 397 00:16:10,824 --> 00:16:12,659 Fuck you, clown! 398 00:16:12,742 --> 00:16:14,995 [grunts] Oh, my God! You're... 399 00:16:15,704 --> 00:16:16,538 You! 400 00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:19,499 Your host and future self, Nick Starr. 401 00:16:19,582 --> 00:16:22,585 Coming up next, I murder you. 402 00:16:22,669 --> 00:16:24,587 [screams] 403 00:16:25,213 --> 00:16:26,840 [grunting] 404 00:16:26,923 --> 00:16:31,177 I'm gonna eat your dinner  at dinnertime, Jessi! 405 00:16:31,261 --> 00:16:33,847 I'm gonna have two dinners. 406 00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:35,015 How do you know my name? 407 00:16:35,098 --> 00:16:37,225 We all know you here, Jessi. 408 00:16:37,308 --> 00:16:38,643 [all] And you're never leaving. 409 00:16:38,727 --> 00:16:41,896 And you're never getting dinner. 410 00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,606 And the food's actually pretty good here. 411 00:16:43,690 --> 00:16:45,108 No! Get away from me! 412 00:16:45,191 --> 00:16:47,027 I don't belong here! 413 00:16:47,110 --> 00:16:49,279 I don't belong here! 414 00:16:49,362 --> 00:16:50,447 [screams] 415 00:16:50,655 --> 00:16:51,781 What the fuck? 416 00:16:51,865 --> 00:16:54,284 How am I now in a swamp? 417 00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:56,369 Ugh! There's so many fucking mosquitoes! 418 00:16:56,453 --> 00:16:57,829 My life is the worst! 419 00:16:57,912 --> 00:17:01,458 Is it? Is it? Is it? 420 00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:03,460 Oh, God. Oh, shit! 421 00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:04,461 [grunts] 422 00:17:04,544 --> 00:17:07,922 Oh, please, no, no! Stop it! Stop killing each other! Please! 423 00:17:08,006 --> 00:17:11,301 Sorry, Missy. There can only be one. 424 00:17:11,384 --> 00:17:13,303 [all] There can only be one! 425 00:17:13,386 --> 00:17:14,971 There can only be one! 426 00:17:15,055 --> 00:17:17,223 I don't like this. I don't like this at all! 427 00:17:17,307 --> 00:17:18,975 -[thuds] -What the--? 428 00:17:19,059 --> 00:17:21,478 Help me! Someone, help me! 429 00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:27,650 [Overalls Missy]  Oh, no. Now we're nothing. 430 00:17:27,734 --> 00:17:30,153 [Missy sobbing] 431 00:17:30,236 --> 00:17:33,156 Am I really nothing? 432 00:17:33,239 --> 00:17:36,159 Wait a minute. This is kinda like a puzzle. 433 00:17:36,242 --> 00:17:39,913 And a puzzle's just a picture you haven't met yet. 434 00:17:39,996 --> 00:17:41,873 Space Missy? 435 00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:43,208 Nanshe Missy? 436 00:17:43,291 --> 00:17:44,918 Oh, there I am. 437 00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:47,170 I'm all of these Missys. 438 00:17:47,253 --> 00:17:48,338 All of 'em. 439 00:17:48,922 --> 00:17:51,841 Whoa, Mosaic Missy! 440 00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:55,345 Is it conceited to say that you're beautiful? 441 00:17:55,428 --> 00:17:57,180 Not if it's true. 442 00:17:57,263 --> 00:17:59,766 Hey! Do you want to practice kissing on me? 443 00:17:59,849 --> 00:18:01,810 Okay, but don't tell anyone. 444 00:18:02,018 --> 00:18:03,478 [kisses] 445 00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:05,688 Mom! Aiden! 446 00:18:05,772 --> 00:18:09,359 You gotta choose, Matthew, or they both die. 447 00:18:09,442 --> 00:18:12,529 [screams] Tell him you're not gonna be gay anymore! 448 00:18:12,612 --> 00:18:15,115 No, pick me, Matthew. We'll be so happy together. 449 00:18:15,198 --> 00:18:17,117 Oh, God, I don't know! 450 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,869 I go way back with my mom but I really like Aiden, 451 00:18:19,953 --> 00:18:22,288 and he has those muscles that, like, make a V. 452 00:18:22,372 --> 00:18:23,289 Cum gutters? 453 00:18:23,373 --> 00:18:25,542 I didn't want to say that in front of my mom, but yeah! 454 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,670 -[Kimberly screams] -Oh, God, my legs! 455 00:18:28,753 --> 00:18:29,879 Mom! Aiden! 456 00:18:29,963 --> 00:18:34,300 You could save me if you just gave up your sinful gay "lifestyle"! 457 00:18:34,384 --> 00:18:39,139 Wait, wait, wait, you just lost your legs, and you're still using air quotes? 458 00:18:39,222 --> 00:18:40,807 What is this play exactly? 459 00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:43,059 [shouts] There go my cum gutters! 460 00:18:43,143 --> 00:18:45,645 [screaming] 461 00:18:45,728 --> 00:18:48,398 [groans] Tell your mom you wanna live your life with pride. 462 00:18:48,481 --> 00:18:51,359 Matthew, I'm your mama. Pick me. 463 00:18:51,442 --> 00:18:55,071 Okay, now they're just severed heads, and they're still arguing? 464 00:18:55,155 --> 00:18:56,906 It's taking me completely out of it. 465 00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:59,909 But the blood! The screams! The humanity! 466 00:18:59,993 --> 00:19:00,827 Wait a minute. 467 00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:03,580 No one's gonna die, no matter who I choose. 468 00:19:03,663 --> 00:19:06,916 Not in this deeply flawed play or in real life. 469 00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:09,210 Thank you, Beelzebubbe. 470 00:19:09,294 --> 00:19:10,920 For a stirring performance? 471 00:19:11,004 --> 00:19:13,214 No, for giving me perspective. 472 00:19:13,298 --> 00:19:16,509 Can I put that on the flyer I force  on people in Times Square? 473 00:19:17,677 --> 00:19:21,347 Ugh. What am I, smoking in bed like a first-grade teacher? 474 00:19:21,431 --> 00:19:23,766 Oh, shit! The room's on fire! 475 00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:25,518 Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me! 476 00:19:25,602 --> 00:19:28,229 This Westchester boy can't catch a break! 477 00:19:28,313 --> 00:19:30,148 Okay, I'm gonna jump. 478 00:19:30,231 --> 00:19:31,524 I'm gonna jump-- Oh! 479 00:19:32,567 --> 00:19:34,402 -[buzzing] -Ow! 480 00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:37,572 -♪ Gotta get up, gotta get out ♪ -These are fun! 481 00:19:37,655 --> 00:19:39,699 -♪ Gotta get home ♪ -[explosion] 482 00:19:39,782 --> 00:19:41,701 -♪ Before the morning comes... ♪ -[farts] 483 00:19:42,410 --> 00:19:44,913 Oh, God, I shouldn't have fucked with the Yakuza. 484 00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:49,667 -[moans] -I got what I needed. 485 00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:52,295 -♪ I've gotta run-run, yeah! ♪ -Where am I? 486 00:19:52,378 --> 00:19:54,214 -♪ Gotta get home... ♪ -Meep-meep, dumb-ass! 487 00:19:54,297 --> 00:19:56,674 ♪ Gotta let the people know I'm gonna be late... ♪ 488 00:19:56,799 --> 00:19:59,594 Hey, four-eyes, you wanna screw like a couple of cock-a-roaches? 489 00:19:59,677 --> 00:20:02,722 Oh, my God. Yes, please, Miss Lyonne. 490 00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:03,932 [Lyonne screams] 491 00:20:04,891 --> 00:20:06,684 Oh, no! Oh, shit! 492 00:20:06,768 --> 00:20:08,269 I am in a coffin! 493 00:20:08,353 --> 00:20:09,771 I've been buried alive! 494 00:20:09,854 --> 00:20:13,608 Hey, gravediggers! I'm supposed to be buried dead! 495 00:20:13,691 --> 00:20:15,235 [grunts] 496 00:20:15,318 --> 00:20:17,028 Shit, what did Missy say? 497 00:20:17,111 --> 00:20:18,446 Just breathe. [inhales] 498 00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:21,741 Just breathe. [exhales] 499 00:20:21,824 --> 00:20:25,745 Okay, no matter what I do, eventually, I'm gonna die. 500 00:20:25,828 --> 00:20:29,540 I can't fight it. All I can do is breathe. [exhales] 501 00:20:29,624 --> 00:20:32,252 And maybe yoidle my doidle. 502 00:20:32,627 --> 00:20:34,629 Rest in power, Zaide. 503 00:20:35,046 --> 00:20:37,298 Get the fuck away! Somebody help me! 504 00:20:37,382 --> 00:20:39,384 Hey, somebody help her. This girl needs help! 505 00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:41,135 There's a crazy talking frog! 506 00:20:41,219 --> 00:20:43,638 Where is there a talking frog? Frogs aren't supposed to talk. 507 00:20:43,721 --> 00:20:44,973 No, you're the frog. 508 00:20:45,056 --> 00:20:47,141 Oh, I'm a toad, honey. 509 00:20:47,225 --> 00:20:49,769 All we do is talk. You know what? Let's start over. 510 00:20:49,852 --> 00:20:53,648 I am the Gratitoad, and I'm just so grateful to meet you. 511 00:20:53,731 --> 00:20:55,608 Yeah, I can't shake your hand. 512 00:20:55,692 --> 00:20:58,486 I'm stuck in a straitjacket, okay? Everything's fucked! 513 00:20:58,569 --> 00:21:02,448 You know, when I feel my lily pad sinking down into the muck, you know what I do? 514 00:21:02,532 --> 00:21:04,242 I think you're gonna tell me. 515 00:21:04,325 --> 00:21:06,869 I try to think about all the things I'm grateful for. 516 00:21:06,953 --> 00:21:08,621 Makes me feel a little better. [chuckles] 517 00:21:08,705 --> 00:21:12,208 -Um, what are toads grateful for? -Well, let's see. 518 00:21:12,292 --> 00:21:15,837 I'm grateful that my skin looks like a rock so my predators can't see me. 519 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,589 Grateful for my predators. They make me wanna jump higher. 520 00:21:18,673 --> 00:21:22,302 And all that jumping makes my tush look high and proud. 521 00:21:22,385 --> 00:21:23,428 Yeah, that's a nice butt. 522 00:21:23,511 --> 00:21:25,680 Oh, well, shoot. I'm grateful for the compliment. 523 00:21:25,763 --> 00:21:27,974 Now, come on, now. Your turn. What are you grateful for? 524 00:21:28,057 --> 00:21:29,475 No, I can't. 525 00:21:29,559 --> 00:21:31,311 It makes me feel weird and embarrassed. 526 00:21:31,394 --> 00:21:33,313 Well, gratitude does take practice. 527 00:21:33,396 --> 00:21:34,522 Like the maracas! 528 00:21:34,605 --> 00:21:38,901 Come on, Jessi. Gratitude, Gratitoad. 529 00:21:38,985 --> 00:21:41,654 What about you? Give it a go. 530 00:21:41,738 --> 00:21:45,575 Okay, um, this is stupid, but all I can think is that 531 00:21:45,658 --> 00:21:47,869 I'm grateful for Sour Patch Kids. 532 00:21:47,952 --> 00:21:49,871 Sour Patch Kids. Yummy! 533 00:21:49,954 --> 00:21:52,832 Love that chew, love that tang. 534 00:21:52,915 --> 00:21:56,169 I like you. You're a good hang. 535 00:21:56,252 --> 00:21:58,755 It feels nice just to be silly,  doesn't it? 536 00:21:58,838 --> 00:21:59,839 What else you got? 537 00:21:59,922 --> 00:22:04,177 Okay, well, I'm grateful to feel a little less anxious than I did before. 538 00:22:04,260 --> 00:22:05,678 Yeah, that's the stuff! 539 00:22:05,762 --> 00:22:08,681 And I guess I'm also really grateful to be back in my old school. 540 00:22:08,765 --> 00:22:11,351 School is cool! Knowledge is power! 541 00:22:11,434 --> 00:22:14,354 Learning with my friends! Education shower? I don't know. 542 00:22:14,437 --> 00:22:18,358 Oh, I like that, honey. You've got an attitude of gratitude. 543 00:22:18,441 --> 00:22:20,193 I'm grateful I met you, Gratitoad. 544 00:22:20,276 --> 00:22:22,362 And I'm grateful for your kind words. 545 00:22:22,445 --> 00:22:25,990 Now, you might wanna turn around 'cause I'm about to lay, like, 80 eggs. 546 00:22:26,074 --> 00:22:28,284 Um, I'm grateful for the heads-up. 547 00:22:28,368 --> 00:22:31,454 I'm actually grateful for a lot of things. 548 00:22:31,537 --> 00:22:33,039 Oh, here they come! 549 00:22:33,122 --> 00:22:35,917 I'm gonna turn this swamp into a ball pit! Ooh! 550 00:22:36,042 --> 00:22:39,379 -[grunts] Why are you trying to kill me? -[straining] 551 00:22:39,462 --> 00:22:42,215 Because you're weak and vulnerable. 552 00:22:42,298 --> 00:22:43,925 And also I'm kind of a psycho. 553 00:22:44,008 --> 00:22:46,219 Something happens to your soul when you host a game show. 554 00:22:46,302 --> 00:22:49,972 [grunts] Stay the fuck back! I'll do it. I'll kill you! 555 00:22:50,056 --> 00:22:52,058 Aw, congratulations, Nick. 556 00:22:52,141 --> 00:22:52,975 Uh, what? 557 00:22:53,059 --> 00:22:54,727 -You won the game! -[audience cheering] 558 00:22:54,811 --> 00:22:57,397 Won? What game? I don't get it. 559 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,190 You protected yourself. 560 00:22:59,273 --> 00:23:01,275 Tell him what he's won, me. 561 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:05,822 A lifetime supply of getting stabbed  by your future self. 562 00:23:06,406 --> 00:23:08,574 I-- I thought the game was over. 563 00:23:08,658 --> 00:23:12,245 Oh, the game's never over, Nick. Not when you're playing... 564 00:23:12,328 --> 00:23:15,289 -Protect Yourself! -[coughs] 565 00:23:15,373 --> 00:23:17,333 Thanks for watching and remember, 566 00:23:17,417 --> 00:23:19,877 never let anyone get close to you. 567 00:23:20,002 --> 00:23:22,755 [gasps] 568 00:23:24,715 --> 00:23:27,677 [Lola chews, chuckles] 569 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,886 I must admit, Jay, 570 00:23:28,970 --> 00:23:33,015 that a life of crime, personally speaking, has made me ravenous. 571 00:23:33,099 --> 00:23:34,016 Oh, yeah. 572 00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:37,228 Hey, babe, you ever think pancakes  are sexy little beds 573 00:23:37,311 --> 00:23:39,939 -for mice to, like, fuck on? -Oh, my God, all the time. 574 00:23:40,022 --> 00:23:42,608 And the butter is obviously their pillows. 575 00:23:42,692 --> 00:23:44,235 -Oh, my God! Totally, babe! -[chuckles] 576 00:23:44,318 --> 00:23:47,155 -Sexy little pillows they just sleep on? -Yeah. 577 00:23:47,238 --> 00:23:48,573 We're on the same page. That's nice. 578 00:23:48,656 --> 00:23:49,866 -Totally. -[chuckles] Yeah. 579 00:23:49,949 --> 00:23:52,076 Totally. Totally. 580 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,369 -Hey, Lola. -Yes, Jay. 581 00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:56,914 Uh, I... I love you. 582 00:23:57,498 --> 00:24:00,751 Aww. Thanks, Jay, you're cool, too. 583 00:24:01,210 --> 00:24:05,756 Is there anything... else you wanna say, like, back to me? 584 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,384 Um... 585 00:24:08,926 --> 00:24:11,554 Maybe the boysenberry syrup is their lube? 586 00:24:11,637 --> 00:24:13,306 -Wha-- what? -For the mice, 587 00:24:13,389 --> 00:24:15,683 who fuck on the pancake beds. Doy! 588 00:24:15,766 --> 00:24:18,019 Oh, um, yeah... 589 00:24:19,353 --> 00:24:20,354 Sure, yeah. 590 00:24:20,438 --> 00:24:23,191 Um, will you excuse me for a sec? 591 00:24:23,316 --> 00:24:24,525 Um... [shudders] 592 00:24:24,609 --> 00:24:28,613 Suddenly my face is red,  and I'm mad at the world, 593 00:24:28,696 --> 00:24:29,947 and I want it to end. 594 00:24:30,031 --> 00:24:32,366 Okay, I'm gonna order coffee as a joke. 595 00:24:32,450 --> 00:24:33,868 Yeah... [chuckles] 596 00:24:34,285 --> 00:24:35,328 Yeah, that's, uh... 597 00:24:36,496 --> 00:24:37,455 That's really funny. 598 00:24:42,668 --> 00:24:44,045 It's over! 599 00:24:44,128 --> 00:24:45,880 You're done, bitches! 600 00:24:45,963 --> 00:24:47,632 -[all groan] -What the fuck happened? 601 00:24:47,715 --> 00:24:50,968 You're all now officially in Kappa Kappa Kill. 602 00:24:51,052 --> 00:24:53,638 -K-K-K! -Okay, we have to get out of here. 603 00:24:53,721 --> 00:24:55,139 Good night, everybody! 604 00:24:55,223 --> 00:24:57,433 Hey, is everybody okay? 605 00:24:57,517 --> 00:24:59,101 What the hell was in that drink? 606 00:24:59,185 --> 00:25:01,812 Did we do ayahuasca at a KKK benefit? 607 00:25:01,896 --> 00:25:02,897 And where's Nick? 608 00:25:02,980 --> 00:25:05,233 Whoa. It looks like he took off already. 609 00:25:05,316 --> 00:25:08,361 Oh, my God, that was so crazy. 610 00:25:08,444 --> 00:25:09,737 Do not ask me about it. 611 00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:11,405 Hey, where the hell  have you been all night? 612 00:25:11,489 --> 00:25:12,740 I just said, I can't tell you. 613 00:25:12,823 --> 00:25:14,951 It was magical and terrifying, 614 00:25:15,034 --> 00:25:17,411 and it changed me forever, but it's private. 615 00:25:17,495 --> 00:25:19,997 -Okay, fine. -Andrew, please don't pry. 616 00:25:20,081 --> 00:25:21,249 Huh? No, I really don't care. 617 00:25:21,332 --> 00:25:24,418 Well, then why do I wanna tell you about it so much, Mr. Andy? 618 00:25:24,502 --> 00:25:27,713 I don't understand this dynamic. 619 00:25:29,674 --> 00:25:32,009 [rattles] 620 00:25:32,885 --> 00:25:35,429 [cackling] 621 00:25:36,556 --> 00:25:38,558 [spooky music plays] 622 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,979 [man laughs] "Good at Bizness." 623 00:26:25,062 --> 00:26:26,647 [kazoo plays] 624 00:26:27,064 --> 00:26:28,983 -[man] Chirp. -[man 2] Fathouse.