1 00:00:07,570 --> 00:00:11,115 One, two, three... [grunting] 2 00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:12,366 How you doing in there, man? 3 00:00:12,450 --> 00:00:13,576 It won't come out, Maury. 4 00:00:13,659 --> 00:00:15,453 I can't do it. I can't shit! 5 00:00:15,536 --> 00:00:16,704 How is that possible? 6 00:00:16,787 --> 00:00:18,622 When was the last time you took a dump? 7 00:00:18,706 --> 00:00:20,833 -Let's see, I didn't poop yesterday... -Okay. 8 00:00:20,916 --> 00:00:24,545 And I couldn't go when Nick walked in on me, carry the one, so four weeks ago? 9 00:00:24,628 --> 00:00:25,838 Jesus, Andrew! 10 00:00:25,921 --> 00:00:27,798 You haven't shit the entire summer? 11 00:00:27,882 --> 00:00:29,633 I think you missed your shit window. 12 00:00:29,717 --> 00:00:31,302 Shit window? What's a shit window? 13 00:00:31,385 --> 00:00:33,512 When you sucked your groundhog back into your butthole, 14 00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:36,223 you made it think there were six more weeks of sphincter. 15 00:00:36,307 --> 00:00:37,391 And this is locked science? 16 00:00:37,475 --> 00:00:39,477 This is flat-Earth science, Andy. 17 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,229 Oh, God, Maury, you gotta take a look at what's going on back there. 18 00:00:42,313 --> 00:00:44,857 Oh, Andrew, I don't think it's appropriate 19 00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:48,903 for me to be this psyched to look at your asshole, baby! 20 00:00:48,986 --> 00:00:49,820 -Oh. -What? 21 00:00:49,904 --> 00:00:50,738 -Oh my. -What is it? 22 00:00:50,821 --> 00:00:52,865 -Oh me, oh my. -Give it to me straight, I can take it! 23 00:00:52,948 --> 00:00:55,868 -You should see this for yourself, Andrew. -Bring me the mirror! 24 00:00:56,285 --> 00:00:58,996 Hey! Why don't you take  a fucking picture, numbnuts! 25 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,372 It'll last longer! 26 00:01:00,456 --> 00:01:02,291 [screams, grunts] 27 00:01:02,374 --> 00:01:04,376 ["Changes" by Charles Bradley playing] 28 00:01:04,710 --> 00:01:10,216 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 29 00:01:14,095 --> 00:01:19,892 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 30 00:01:20,392 --> 00:01:22,728 ♪ Oh, in my life ♪ 31 00:01:23,938 --> 00:01:27,274 ♪ Oh, ooh, ooh! ♪ 32 00:01:35,741 --> 00:01:40,204 Okay, 15 minutes until the last night of camp bonfire. 33 00:01:40,287 --> 00:01:41,539 Attendance required. 34 00:01:41,622 --> 00:01:42,873 Make-outs encouraged. 35 00:01:42,957 --> 00:01:46,085 Because if you can't hook up on the last night of camp, 36 00:01:46,168 --> 00:01:47,878 when can you hook up? 37 00:01:47,962 --> 00:01:49,213 Vacation? Please! 38 00:01:49,296 --> 00:01:50,464 Your parents are there! 39 00:01:50,548 --> 00:01:53,592 They don't want to see you snogging a 45-year-old Greek woman. 40 00:01:53,676 --> 00:01:56,512 They're not ready to accept you as a sexual being. 41 00:01:56,595 --> 00:01:58,472 #Zoratheexplora! 42 00:01:58,556 --> 00:02:01,600 Nick, why you doing homework right now like some nerd? 43 00:02:01,684 --> 00:02:03,811 This is your last chance to get some tan ass. 44 00:02:03,894 --> 00:02:05,646 I'm writing jokes for the talent show tonight. 45 00:02:05,729 --> 00:02:09,275 You can't perform at the bonfire. Everyone hates you now, Soup. 46 00:02:09,358 --> 00:02:10,609 -Ugh! -They wanna see you fail. 47 00:02:10,693 --> 00:02:12,278 You're basically Ben Affleck. 48 00:02:12,361 --> 00:02:14,947 No, no, no, no.  Some people still like Nick. 49 00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:18,200 He's Matt Damon! Keep on writing, Matt! 50 00:02:18,284 --> 00:02:20,578 Ugh! What is it about  the last night of camp 51 00:02:20,661 --> 00:02:22,288 that gets everyone so horned up? 52 00:02:22,371 --> 00:02:24,331 I know, right? I just checked out Milk's ass. 53 00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:27,209 If you look at it by itself, it's actually kinda good. 54 00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:29,587 -[both laugh] -Hey, Natalie! Hi. 55 00:02:29,670 --> 00:02:32,548 Did you hear, uh, about the dead bird in the woods? 56 00:02:32,631 --> 00:02:34,675 It's-- I mean,  it's been swelling up all summer, 57 00:02:34,758 --> 00:02:36,468 and I actually think it's gonna pop tonight. 58 00:02:36,552 --> 00:02:37,887 Wow. Very cool. 59 00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:39,054 Yeah. Super cool. 60 00:02:39,138 --> 00:02:41,974 Remember where I hocked that red loogie last year? 61 00:02:42,057 --> 00:02:43,726 It's-- it's kinda near there. 62 00:02:43,809 --> 00:02:46,103 Yeah, we remember. You keep bringing it up. 63 00:02:46,187 --> 00:02:49,148 Just like I brought up that red loog! [laughs] 64 00:02:49,231 --> 00:02:52,610 Anyway, you wanna go see the bird, maybe? 65 00:02:52,693 --> 00:02:53,777 Eh, maybe later. 66 00:02:53,861 --> 00:02:56,488 I kinda wanted to throw a battery in the bonfire to see what happens. 67 00:02:56,572 --> 00:02:59,158 Oh, yeah. That's-- Yeah. I want-- Tell me, let me know. 68 00:02:59,241 --> 00:03:01,202 Oh, my God. He's so into you. 69 00:03:01,285 --> 00:03:03,746 What? Shut up! Wait, why? What makes you think that? 70 00:03:03,829 --> 00:03:06,540 Look at him. That's his sad attempt at flirting. 71 00:03:06,624 --> 00:03:08,667 Hey, ladies-- [grunts] 72 00:03:08,751 --> 00:03:10,836 Fuck! Did it! That's what I wanted! 73 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,088 -You should go see the bird with him. -[grunting] 74 00:03:13,172 --> 00:03:14,840 Really? I don't know. 75 00:03:14,924 --> 00:03:18,010 Yes! Come on! You obviously like him. Go. 76 00:03:18,093 --> 00:03:22,306 Yeah, but this would be my first time, like, kissing a boy. 77 00:03:22,389 --> 00:03:24,683 And it just feels scary. 78 00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:27,978 But it's the last night. If it doesn't work out, who cares? 79 00:03:28,062 --> 00:03:29,897 I mean, I'm gonna finger Milk. 80 00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:32,149 As God as my witness, I'm gonna wear him like a Ring Pop. 81 00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:34,235 -[chuckles] -My dad's friend Bob Reedy 82 00:03:34,318 --> 00:03:37,029 has a statue of a finger in his nightstand. 83 00:03:37,112 --> 00:03:38,530 [both] Shut the fuck up, Milk! 84 00:03:39,949 --> 00:03:42,618 Burgers and coffee? You sure that's the move, captain? 85 00:03:42,701 --> 00:03:45,621 I figured this would be the best way to get things moving down there. 86 00:03:45,704 --> 00:03:47,373 [poop] Oh, yeah, keep eating, man! 87 00:03:47,456 --> 00:03:49,708 Put little burger shoes on my gross shit feet! 88 00:03:49,792 --> 00:03:52,378 Andrew, I think he's getting bigger. 89 00:03:52,461 --> 00:03:55,172 [poop] And I'm getting wider, you fucks! 90 00:03:55,256 --> 00:03:58,133 I'm a big, brown baseball with eyes! 91 00:03:58,217 --> 00:04:01,095 -[farts, belches] -Eww! Did you just "furp"? 92 00:04:01,178 --> 00:04:04,139 -Furp? What's a furp? -It's a fart burp, you fucking idiot. 93 00:04:04,223 --> 00:04:06,809 [sniffs] Ugh, what is that awful stench? 94 00:04:06,892 --> 00:04:10,145 It smells like when my dad's friend Bob Reedy invited me 95 00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:12,731 to change his sepsis gauze, and I obliged. 96 00:04:12,815 --> 00:04:14,525 Who was that? Ugh! 97 00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:17,361 It was probably Soup. Yeah, he farted. 98 00:04:17,444 --> 00:04:19,405 It sounded wet, like Soup! 99 00:04:19,488 --> 00:04:21,240 What? No, it wasn't me! 100 00:04:21,323 --> 00:04:25,077 I mean, I've heard of a can of soup, but this Soup needs to go to the can. 101 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,329 -[laughing] -[boy] Good one, dude! 102 00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:29,331 -You write that? -I had variations on it, 103 00:04:29,415 --> 00:04:30,833 but it's never come out like that. 104 00:04:30,916 --> 00:04:34,878 Wow, I know Nick's a tiny little loser, and he stinks like trash, 105 00:04:34,962 --> 00:04:36,088 but I feel bad for the kid. 106 00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:38,424 That's where you and I differ, Maury. Bad things... 107 00:04:38,507 --> 00:04:42,177 -[stomach rumbling] -[groans] ...happen to bad people. 108 00:04:42,261 --> 00:04:45,222 Nick is getting what he deserves. 109 00:04:45,306 --> 00:04:47,266 -It's called kar-- [groans] -[rumbling continues] 110 00:04:47,349 --> 00:04:49,018 It's called-- It's called-- [groans] 111 00:04:49,101 --> 00:04:50,019 It's called karma. 112 00:04:50,602 --> 00:04:52,146 [Jay] May I tongue you, my queen? 113 00:04:52,229 --> 00:04:54,732 Permission granted, my king. 114 00:04:54,815 --> 00:04:56,817 [moaning] 115 00:04:57,526 --> 00:05:01,196 [dog barks] Happening! Happening! 116 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,449 Let's see what's actually happening. 117 00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:06,118 [moaning continues] 118 00:05:06,201 --> 00:05:09,079 Uh-oh, Your Majesty. 119 00:05:09,163 --> 00:05:12,124 There's, like, so much dirt under my fingernails 120 00:05:12,207 --> 00:05:14,168 from all that digging. 121 00:05:14,251 --> 00:05:18,714 Well, allow me to suck the muck out, Your Fuckin' Grace. 122 00:05:18,797 --> 00:05:21,342 -[Lola laughs] Mm! -[slurps] Mm! 123 00:05:21,425 --> 00:05:23,552 I love how rough your fingers are. 124 00:05:23,635 --> 00:05:26,972 Well, I love what a jacked walnut you are from digging all summer. 125 00:05:27,056 --> 00:05:28,640 You did most of the work, babe. 126 00:05:28,724 --> 00:05:30,434 And with your feet too. 127 00:05:30,517 --> 00:05:31,894 Those strong little hooves. 128 00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:36,774 They're like that one genre of Tostitos 'cause they're good for scooping. 129 00:05:36,857 --> 00:05:37,858 Yeah, that's right, 130 00:05:37,941 --> 00:05:40,235 -I'm perfect for the Super Bowl! -Oh, yeah. 131 00:05:40,319 --> 00:05:43,572 I was just telling the guys the other day, your feet never get soggy. 132 00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:46,909 Anyway, we did do an amazing job, though, didn't we? 133 00:05:46,992 --> 00:05:49,495 I feel bad for everyone else, honestly. 134 00:05:49,578 --> 00:05:50,829 What do you think, Skumpy? 135 00:05:50,913 --> 00:05:52,915 Should we keep this paradise to ourselves? 136 00:05:52,998 --> 00:05:54,541 No way, Jo-say! 137 00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:57,461 We should totally have a bomb-ass pool warming party 138 00:05:57,544 --> 00:06:00,255 so everyone can choke on their fucking jealousy. 139 00:06:00,339 --> 00:06:01,840 That's genius. 140 00:06:01,924 --> 00:06:05,844 Uh-oh, methinks me sees some dirt under your toes, 141 00:06:05,928 --> 00:06:08,639 or as I like to call them, 142 00:06:08,722 --> 00:06:10,099 the Queen's Nuggies. 143 00:06:10,182 --> 00:06:14,144 -[laughs] Oh, that fucking tickles. -[slurps] 144 00:06:14,228 --> 00:06:15,479 [Harry] Thank you, Rebecca. 145 00:06:15,562 --> 00:06:19,441 You really kept most of those plates spinning a lot of the time. 146 00:06:19,525 --> 00:06:23,946 And now, hoping to turn around his truly dreadful summer, 147 00:06:24,029 --> 00:06:26,573 a boy named Soup! 148 00:06:26,657 --> 00:06:29,535 Aww. Even the counselors are calling me "Soup"? 149 00:06:29,618 --> 00:06:31,912 Oh, God, Nick. You're gonna bomb! 150 00:06:31,995 --> 00:06:35,791 This is a suicide mission. You'll be a suicide bomber! 151 00:06:35,874 --> 00:06:39,002 Um, you know, what's-- what's the deal with camp? 152 00:06:39,086 --> 00:06:42,381 It's-- it's like school, but we're all fucking sleeping here? 153 00:06:42,464 --> 00:06:44,174 -[laughs] Ugh. -[explosion] 154 00:06:44,758 --> 00:06:46,135 -[buzzes] -Don't listen to Tito! 155 00:06:46,218 --> 00:06:47,636 -You are so funny. -Really? 156 00:06:47,719 --> 00:06:49,930 Big-ass mouth, stupid fucking forehead. 157 00:06:50,013 --> 00:06:52,391 Look at that thing. Goddamn shoebox. 158 00:06:52,474 --> 00:06:54,101 -What? -I just look at you, and I laugh. 159 00:06:54,184 --> 00:06:55,269 You're right. You're right. 160 00:06:55,352 --> 00:06:57,688 Charming people is, like, the one thing I'm actually good at. 161 00:06:57,771 --> 00:06:58,814 I-- I got this. 162 00:06:58,897 --> 00:07:01,650 -Make eye contact. Strut! -[gasps] 163 00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:03,777 -Connect with the ladies! -Okay, okay. 164 00:07:04,403 --> 00:07:06,738 -[feedback whines] -Ahem. Hey, fellow campers! 165 00:07:06,822 --> 00:07:10,534 What a summer, huh? Yikes! No me gusta. [chuckles] 166 00:07:10,617 --> 00:07:11,535 [coughs] 167 00:07:11,618 --> 00:07:13,203 The only thing worse, honestly, 168 00:07:13,287 --> 00:07:16,123 is getting stuck in a canoe with Berman, am I right? 169 00:07:16,206 --> 00:07:18,792 -[audience gasps] -Fucking kid's been crying all summer! 170 00:07:18,876 --> 00:07:21,962 -[booing] -Berman's brother died last month! 171 00:07:22,045 --> 00:07:23,797 Oh. Oh, my God. 172 00:07:23,881 --> 00:07:25,883 I am... so sorry, Berman. 173 00:07:25,966 --> 00:07:27,342 I really didn't know that. 174 00:07:27,426 --> 00:07:29,720 I-- I just...  Well, let's see what else I got. 175 00:07:29,803 --> 00:07:31,847 What do I got? Uh, that's not good. 176 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:35,309 [gasps] Oh, no! What if you can't think of anything to say? 177 00:07:35,392 --> 00:07:37,060 You have no point of view. 178 00:07:37,144 --> 00:07:39,229 It's so hot, uh... 179 00:07:39,313 --> 00:07:40,647 How hot is it, me? 180 00:07:40,731 --> 00:07:42,191 [chuckles] It's so hot, 181 00:07:42,274 --> 00:07:46,069 I think I saw a deer sucking  on an ice cube the other day. 182 00:07:46,153 --> 00:07:47,571 -No, you didn't! -[jeering] 183 00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:50,157 Fuck you, Soup! Take a fucking shower and die! 184 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,992 -Okay, good times. -You suck! 185 00:07:52,075 --> 00:07:55,120 Easy, Andrew, Nick's already bombing. You're fucking a dead horse. 186 00:07:55,204 --> 00:07:57,414 Sure, it feels great, but it's not right. 187 00:07:57,498 --> 00:07:59,416 [poop] No, that guy's an asshole! 188 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:00,959 He fucked your wife Missy! 189 00:08:01,043 --> 00:08:03,587 Well, sort of. Yeah, that's the essence of what occurred! 190 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,672 Hey, Soup, you wanna be funny? 191 00:08:05,756 --> 00:08:08,425 -Show us your tiny prick! -[audience laughs] 192 00:08:08,509 --> 00:08:11,053 Jesus, Andrew. What is your problem? 193 00:08:11,136 --> 00:08:12,888 Read the tea leaves, honey. 194 00:08:12,971 --> 00:08:16,099 -That bowl of soup fucked my wife! -I think I'm gonna switch seats. 195 00:08:16,183 --> 00:08:19,144 Let your guard down, Nicky. Be vulnerable! 196 00:08:19,228 --> 00:08:20,229 People like that. 197 00:08:20,312 --> 00:08:22,856 Hey, guys, maybe comedy's not what you're looking for tonight. 198 00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:24,858 Maybe I try something a little bit different. 199 00:08:24,942 --> 00:08:27,277 [singing off-key] ♪ Hey, Mister Man ♪ 200 00:08:27,361 --> 00:08:29,279 ♪ What about me? ♪ 201 00:08:30,239 --> 00:08:35,702 ♪ Am I a bowl of soup or a human being? ♪ 202 00:08:35,786 --> 00:08:38,580 ♪ 'Cause when I look in the mirror ♪ 203 00:08:39,164 --> 00:08:41,792 ♪ I'll tell you what I see ♪ 204 00:08:41,875 --> 00:08:43,126 He sees soup! 205 00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:45,921 'Cause he's a big fat bowl of fucking soup, the idiot! 206 00:08:46,004 --> 00:08:47,297 -[booing] -[laughing] 207 00:08:47,381 --> 00:08:49,216 -That's a good joke! -Stinky-ass bitch! 208 00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:51,051 Why are you all so mean? 209 00:08:51,134 --> 00:08:53,845 And why is Berman still here if his brother's dead? 210 00:08:53,929 --> 00:08:56,056 -He should be at home with his family! -[gasping] 211 00:08:56,139 --> 00:08:58,809 My mom said Eli would've wanted me to finish out the summer. 212 00:08:58,892 --> 00:09:00,894 -[jeering] -Get off the stage, Soup! 213 00:09:00,978 --> 00:09:03,647 Run, sugar! Run into the woods! 214 00:09:03,730 --> 00:09:05,649 -[Nick sobbing]  -Oh, Nick. 215 00:09:05,732 --> 00:09:07,192 That felt right, yeah? 216 00:09:07,276 --> 00:09:08,777 I-- I feel good about that? 217 00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:11,655 Yeah, you really finished in the horse, Andrew. 218 00:09:11,738 --> 00:09:13,824 Well, he deserved it-- [screams] 219 00:09:13,907 --> 00:09:15,576 -My stomach! -Jesus, you all right, chief? 220 00:09:15,659 --> 00:09:16,577 Shh! Look. 221 00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:19,162 Hi. Did you just make  your best friend cry? 222 00:09:19,246 --> 00:09:22,124 That was so hot and rude. [chuckles] 223 00:09:22,207 --> 00:09:23,166 I'm beyond soaked. 224 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,251 Soaked, you say? 225 00:09:24,334 --> 00:09:27,296 Well, sounds like you need a big, dry pair of underwear 226 00:09:27,379 --> 00:09:30,340 -and a qualified lover to put them on. -Andrew, who are you talking to? 227 00:09:30,424 --> 00:09:33,260 Why, this hot little redhead ginger over here. 228 00:09:33,343 --> 00:09:35,512 Oh, no, that's not a girl. That's the campfire! 229 00:09:35,596 --> 00:09:36,930 Ow! Fuck! Hot! 230 00:09:37,014 --> 00:09:38,348 Maury, what's happening to me? 231 00:09:38,432 --> 00:09:40,601 Well, you're hallucinating. You have cramps. 232 00:09:40,684 --> 00:09:42,394 It's been a month since you... [gasps] 233 00:09:42,477 --> 00:09:43,353 Wait a second. 234 00:09:43,437 --> 00:09:44,438 Step into my office. 235 00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:46,023 -Okay, fart. -[farts] 236 00:09:46,106 --> 00:09:47,524 -Fart again. -[farts] 237 00:09:47,608 --> 00:09:49,735 -Okay, big, wet fart. -[farting] 238 00:09:49,818 --> 00:09:51,987 Oh, no. It's just as I feared. 239 00:09:52,070 --> 00:09:53,947 What is it? You can tell me. Is it AIDS? 240 00:09:54,031 --> 00:09:56,658 Oh, Andrew, you're suffering from... 241 00:09:56,742 --> 00:09:58,452 Poop madness! 242 00:09:58,535 --> 00:10:01,580 [screams] Poop madness! What the hell is that? 243 00:10:01,663 --> 00:10:05,292 When the body goes too long without expunging a brownskie, 244 00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:07,794 -it goes into a state of shitosis... -Uh-huh. Yeah. 245 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:09,963 ...eventually causing cerebral skidmarks, 246 00:10:10,047 --> 00:10:13,050 or in layman's terms, shit-for-brains. 247 00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:14,551 Doctor, that does not sound good. 248 00:10:14,635 --> 00:10:17,262 Bottom line, if you don't dump your grump soon, 249 00:10:17,346 --> 00:10:20,140 you'll go permanently... insane. 250 00:10:20,223 --> 00:10:23,769 No! No, that can't be. I'm fine-- [coughs] 251 00:10:23,852 --> 00:10:26,438 -Oh, dear God! -Eww, Andrew! 252 00:10:26,521 --> 00:10:28,315 You use a handkerchief? 253 00:10:28,398 --> 00:10:31,026 -[panting] -Nick, hold on, wait up! 254 00:10:31,109 --> 00:10:32,402 [exhales] Are you okay? 255 00:10:32,486 --> 00:10:34,988 Of course I'm not okay. My whole life is over! 256 00:10:35,072 --> 00:10:37,282 Whoa, buddy. Calm down, you're shaking. 257 00:10:37,366 --> 00:10:38,909 -Shaking? -I could take you to the nurse. 258 00:10:38,992 --> 00:10:40,744 She could give you a cup of water. 259 00:10:40,827 --> 00:10:43,455 Water? What the hell is water gonna do? 260 00:10:43,538 --> 00:10:46,833 Hey, Jessi, your parents are divorced. You want a cup of fucking water? 261 00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,293 -Hey! -Just leave me alone! 262 00:10:48,377 --> 00:10:50,337 Okay, fine. Jesus. 263 00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:51,254 [gasps] 264 00:10:51,338 --> 00:10:53,757 Wow, that is certainly a dead bird. 265 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,634 Check it out, its belly is full of gas, 266 00:10:55,717 --> 00:10:59,346 so if you poke its butthole with a stick, it actually squeaks. 267 00:10:59,971 --> 00:11:00,972 [squeaks] 268 00:11:01,056 --> 00:11:02,891 I think that's actually called its cloaca. 269 00:11:02,974 --> 00:11:06,895 Cloaca. That's a beautiful name for... a baby, or any-- 270 00:11:06,978 --> 00:11:09,398 Wow. Crazy how tall these trees are. 271 00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:10,649 [both] So tall. 272 00:11:10,732 --> 00:11:11,733 -Super. -Yeah. 273 00:11:11,817 --> 00:11:14,319 Um... so what else should we do? 274 00:11:14,403 --> 00:11:15,320 I don't know. 275 00:11:15,404 --> 00:11:17,739 Uh, what do you wanna do? 276 00:11:17,823 --> 00:11:19,449 Whatever, honestly. 277 00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:20,951 Whatever, right? Yeah. 278 00:11:21,034 --> 00:11:22,744 Are we moving closer to each other? 279 00:11:22,828 --> 00:11:24,496 You're not turning away from me. 280 00:11:24,579 --> 00:11:26,665 -I'm not turning away from you. -Yep. 281 00:11:26,748 --> 00:11:28,917 Thank you for doing what's about to happen. 282 00:11:31,461 --> 00:11:33,714 -[electronic music playing] -Wow. 283 00:11:33,797 --> 00:11:36,383 Is it possible this party could actually be good? 284 00:11:36,466 --> 00:11:38,677 -[dance music playing] -Oh, it's not good. 285 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:39,720 It's perfect. 286 00:11:39,803 --> 00:11:45,350 Welcome to Soak Palace, where all your dreams are wet. 287 00:11:45,434 --> 00:11:48,770 And muddy! Guys, help yourself to some snacks! 288 00:11:48,854 --> 00:11:51,064 Yeah, there's pretzels and shaving cream on the table, 289 00:11:51,148 --> 00:11:52,899 and Luda's passing out the hot apps! 290 00:11:52,983 --> 00:11:54,317 It's lasag-na. 291 00:11:54,401 --> 00:11:57,070 Oh, my God, I've never said that word out loud before! 292 00:11:57,154 --> 00:11:58,488 You nailed it, babe. Up top! 293 00:11:58,572 --> 00:11:59,406 Go, Lola! 294 00:11:59,489 --> 00:12:00,824 Hey, party people! 295 00:12:00,907 --> 00:12:02,617 DJ Pendejo here, 296 00:12:02,701 --> 00:12:06,830 returning to the scene of the time where I made thick in the warm! 297 00:12:06,913 --> 00:12:09,166 -Meow! Meow! -Hi, Steve. 298 00:12:09,249 --> 00:12:12,127 Hi, Jay's mom, my sexual partner. 299 00:12:12,711 --> 00:12:16,715 Come on in, guys! The water's piping hot and slick as shit! 300 00:12:16,798 --> 00:12:18,425 Ooh, I'm at your service, my queen. 301 00:12:18,508 --> 00:12:21,887 I think it's time for you to clean the royal stinky pinky. 302 00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:22,888 Yeah, right there. 303 00:12:22,971 --> 00:12:26,308 Oh! Mm-hmm. Yep. This is officially better than 304 00:12:26,391 --> 00:12:29,144 the time I saw Eric Stonestreet fall down a flight of stairs. 305 00:12:29,227 --> 00:12:30,729 Lola, can I talk to you for a second? 306 00:12:30,812 --> 00:12:33,899 Aww, but my crown jewels are still getting polished. 307 00:12:33,982 --> 00:12:35,066 Right now! 308 00:12:35,150 --> 00:12:36,777 [Lola] Oh, my God! What the hell? 309 00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:40,155 Please tell me you're not actually with Jay. 310 00:12:40,238 --> 00:12:43,658 Yeah, kind of, I mean, we built this, like, dank-ass pool. 311 00:12:43,742 --> 00:12:45,869 You need to drop him immediately. 312 00:12:45,952 --> 00:12:48,371 You might as well be dating a meatball sub. 313 00:12:48,455 --> 00:12:50,248 First of all, yum! 314 00:12:50,332 --> 00:12:53,502 But, like, ultimately, what's wrong with Jay? 315 00:12:53,585 --> 00:12:55,504 [chuckles] He's like a dirty, weird kid. 316 00:12:55,587 --> 00:12:57,923 I once saw him eat someone else's scab, bro. 317 00:12:58,006 --> 00:12:59,758 He's a true goblin. 318 00:12:59,841 --> 00:13:00,801 Oh, my God, please! 319 00:13:00,884 --> 00:13:03,887 You guys are just jealous  of our sick-ass Soak Palace! 320 00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:07,432 Lola, this pool is a fucking wet tomb. 321 00:13:07,516 --> 00:13:10,310 It's trash, and so is Jay. Look at him. 322 00:13:10,393 --> 00:13:12,562 -[spray gurgles] -Oh, yeah, it's foamy. 323 00:13:12,646 --> 00:13:14,689 Molecular gastronomy. A lot of foam. 324 00:13:14,773 --> 00:13:18,151 You seriously can't bring this horror show into eighth grade. 325 00:13:18,235 --> 00:13:19,694 You'll be a fucking joke. 326 00:13:19,778 --> 00:13:21,154 Oh, no! 327 00:13:21,238 --> 00:13:24,533 Sigh, comma, groan! Aw... 328 00:13:25,325 --> 00:13:27,035 Oh, God, where am I? 329 00:13:27,118 --> 00:13:28,411 You're lost. In the woods! 330 00:13:28,495 --> 00:13:30,705 I think this is how Berman's brother died. 331 00:13:30,789 --> 00:13:33,166 Oh! I can't believe I had so many jokes about Berman! 332 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,459 And then you sang! 333 00:13:34,543 --> 00:13:36,711 Fucking Connie told me to be vulnerable. 334 00:13:36,795 --> 00:13:38,296 It was humiliating. 335 00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:41,299 Andrew's gonna tell everyone at school what a loser you are! 336 00:13:41,383 --> 00:13:43,552 Oh, that's totally what he's gonna do. 337 00:13:43,635 --> 00:13:47,180 What if they call you Soup in eighth grade? 338 00:13:48,473 --> 00:13:49,891 -[gasps] -[Tito] You'll have no friends! 339 00:13:49,975 --> 00:13:51,309 You'll never get laid! 340 00:13:51,393 --> 00:13:54,604 You'll be an old man with your untouched, dusty little dick! 341 00:13:54,688 --> 00:13:57,274 [gasping] I think I'm having a panic attack! 342 00:13:57,357 --> 00:13:59,401 -[insects buzzing] -[groans] 343 00:13:59,526 --> 00:14:00,360 Andrew? 344 00:14:00,443 --> 00:14:01,570 Why, Nick? 345 00:14:01,653 --> 00:14:04,155 Why did you kiss Missy? 346 00:14:04,239 --> 00:14:05,824 Maybe it's because you're selfish! 347 00:14:05,907 --> 00:14:08,660 No, I'm just a fierce advocate for my own happiness. 348 00:14:08,743 --> 00:14:12,664 And why did you make fun of my dope hats? 349 00:14:12,747 --> 00:14:14,165 I stand my ground on that one. 350 00:14:14,249 --> 00:14:15,792 Fuck you, the hats rule! 351 00:14:15,876 --> 00:14:18,420 You're a condescending prick, 352 00:14:18,503 --> 00:14:21,339 and we'll never be friends again! 353 00:14:21,423 --> 00:14:23,466 No! 354 00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:27,095 [silent scream] 355 00:14:27,178 --> 00:14:29,598 -[groans] -Why can't you just shit in the bunk? 356 00:14:29,681 --> 00:14:33,560 Everyone's hooking up in there, and you know I get caca-shy! 357 00:14:33,643 --> 00:14:36,897 I'm not going anywhere, you fucking bird brain! 358 00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:40,150 Strain, Andrew. Push all the blood to your face! 359 00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:44,571 If you motherfuckers try and shit me, I'll pull out your fucking spinal cord! 360 00:14:44,654 --> 00:14:46,072 Oh, God, Maury. [strains] 361 00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:48,325 I'm scared. Maybe I can just hold it in forever. 362 00:14:48,408 --> 00:14:50,076 You can't, Andrew! You'll go mad! 363 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,412 I think it's time for me to pop your dookie bubble. 364 00:14:52,495 --> 00:14:53,830 Shout-out to Bobby and Whitney. 365 00:14:53,914 --> 00:14:55,874 Oh, fuck! Okay, I'll try anything. 366 00:14:55,957 --> 00:14:56,833 Just hurry up. 367 00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:58,668 All right, Andrew, I think I-- [grunts] 368 00:14:58,752 --> 00:15:00,420 Maury! How did he get a knife? 369 00:15:00,503 --> 00:15:04,132 I'm a pile of shit with nothing to lose! 370 00:15:04,591 --> 00:15:05,425 Oh, no, Maury. 371 00:15:05,508 --> 00:15:07,385 Stay with me. No! Shh, just hold it in. 372 00:15:07,469 --> 00:15:09,512 -No, just don't let the blood out-- -[poop cackling] 373 00:15:12,432 --> 00:15:15,644 Why are you doing this to me? 374 00:15:15,727 --> 00:15:16,853 You made me! 375 00:15:16,937 --> 00:15:18,939 I am the ugly hate inside of you, 376 00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:21,816 and I'll keep getting bigger and bigger 377 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:24,861 until we are one! 378 00:15:24,986 --> 00:15:28,657 -[maniacal laughing] -[Andrew wails] 379 00:15:30,116 --> 00:15:31,660 -Wow. -Oh, wow. 380 00:15:31,743 --> 00:15:33,620 You're a surprisingly good kisser. 381 00:15:33,703 --> 00:15:36,498 Well, my dad's a high-end butcher, and I practice on the meats. 382 00:15:36,581 --> 00:15:39,793 So if you're ever at Goldberg's in Montreal, do not eat the pastrami. 383 00:15:39,876 --> 00:15:41,461 [chuckles] Thanks for the heads-up. 384 00:15:41,544 --> 00:15:45,090 -No problem. -So, should we go back to the group? 385 00:15:45,173 --> 00:15:47,759 The group? Uh... Oh, yeah, totally. 386 00:15:47,842 --> 00:15:50,303 Um, so how do we wanna do this? 387 00:15:50,387 --> 00:15:53,682 Do you, uh, wanna go first, and I'll just hang back 388 00:15:53,765 --> 00:15:54,975 -and chill for a sec? -What? 389 00:15:55,058 --> 00:15:58,520 Or do you want me to run as fast as I can, and then you just show up later? 390 00:15:58,603 --> 00:15:59,980 -What do you mean? -I'm just saying, 391 00:16:00,063 --> 00:16:01,564 I don't know if we should show up  at the same time, 392 00:16:01,648 --> 00:16:03,984 'cause then, you know, everyone will know. 393 00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,819 Oh. Oh, my God. 394 00:16:06,194 --> 00:16:07,070 Fuck. 395 00:16:07,153 --> 00:16:08,488 You don't want anyone to know. 396 00:16:08,571 --> 00:16:12,617 Look, I-- I'm really into you,  and I like you. 397 00:16:12,701 --> 00:16:15,745 I-- I'm just mildly terrified 398 00:16:15,829 --> 00:16:17,872 of what the guys will say, because you're... 399 00:16:17,956 --> 00:16:18,790 I'm what? 400 00:16:18,873 --> 00:16:20,291 Say it. I'm trans. 401 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:21,960 No! I mean, yes. 402 00:16:22,043 --> 00:16:25,839 But no, no! It-- it-- it's because you are so... 403 00:16:26,256 --> 00:16:28,299 great, and they'll get jealous. 404 00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:32,053 'Cause I get to kiss the great one. You! 405 00:16:32,137 --> 00:16:32,971 Fuck you! 406 00:16:33,054 --> 00:16:35,140 I'm a person, not something to hide. 407 00:16:35,223 --> 00:16:37,267 [sighs] This is such a fucking bummer. 408 00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:38,184 Natalie, I'm sorry! 409 00:16:38,268 --> 00:16:41,438 You know, have fun face-fucking your dad's meat, you French Canadian cunt! 410 00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:44,441 -[squelching] -It's high-end meat! Ow, fuck! 411 00:16:44,524 --> 00:16:46,067 Ugh, the bird popped! 412 00:16:46,151 --> 00:16:47,110 Natalie, come back! 413 00:16:47,193 --> 00:16:49,112 Ugh. The smell is... 414 00:16:49,195 --> 00:16:51,114 It is not what you'd expect! 415 00:16:51,197 --> 00:16:53,742 [chuckles] Hey-o! You guys having fun? 416 00:16:53,825 --> 00:16:54,993 -Eh. -Not really. 417 00:16:55,076 --> 00:16:56,536 Oh, my stars, 418 00:16:56,619 --> 00:17:00,040 look at that queen in her palace. Mm-mm-mm! 419 00:17:00,123 --> 00:17:02,500 Jay, honey, this isn't a palace. 420 00:17:02,584 --> 00:17:04,044 It's a bowl of fucking malaria. 421 00:17:04,127 --> 00:17:06,337 What? I don't know what you're-- 422 00:17:06,421 --> 00:17:08,506 [gasps] Oh, no. 423 00:17:08,590 --> 00:17:09,424 Luda! 424 00:17:09,507 --> 00:17:12,427 And that's not an elegant queen. That's Lola. 425 00:17:12,510 --> 00:17:14,679 Leggo my lasag-na! 426 00:17:14,763 --> 00:17:16,431 Oh, shit. 427 00:17:16,514 --> 00:17:17,891 [groans] 428 00:17:17,974 --> 00:17:21,061 You're mine now, dick cheese! 429 00:17:21,144 --> 00:17:23,188 Okay, brother, we can work this out. What do you want? 430 00:17:23,271 --> 00:17:27,609 I want you to become your true self: an angry piece of shit! 431 00:17:27,692 --> 00:17:31,738 No, please! You're hurting me! [screams] 432 00:17:31,821 --> 00:17:33,656 -My fur and whiskers! You're late! -What? 433 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:35,533 -You're late! You're late! -What am I late for? 434 00:17:35,617 --> 00:17:38,661 Oh, you're late, you're late, for a very important make! 435 00:17:38,745 --> 00:17:42,248 You didn't poop or shit or crap! You're late! You're late! You're late! 436 00:17:42,332 --> 00:17:44,334 What the fuck is happening? 437 00:17:44,417 --> 00:17:48,338 Why, you have fullsy-blownsy, sweetsy-brownsy 438 00:17:48,421 --> 00:17:51,925 Poop madness! 439 00:17:52,008 --> 00:17:53,510 [cackles] 440 00:17:53,593 --> 00:17:57,263 Oh, God, I do! I really do! [groans] 441 00:17:57,347 --> 00:18:01,434 ♪ The rectal strain has reached  Your brain ♪ 442 00:18:01,518 --> 00:18:05,271 ♪ The bile seeps into your soul ♪ 443 00:18:05,355 --> 00:18:07,315 ♪ Join the dance of fools ♪ 444 00:18:07,398 --> 00:18:09,943 ♪ Whose stubborn stools ♪ 445 00:18:10,026 --> 00:18:13,863 ♪ Will never reach the bowl ♪ 446 00:18:14,364 --> 00:18:18,618 ♪ You've received an invitation ♪ 447 00:18:18,701 --> 00:18:22,705 ♪ To the carnival of constipation ♪ 448 00:18:22,789 --> 00:18:26,876 ♪ Your blocked behind has blown  Your mind ♪ 449 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,630 ♪ And opened up the door ♪ 450 00:18:30,713 --> 00:18:33,007 -Oh, no! -♪ To poop madness ♪ 451 00:18:33,091 --> 00:18:35,468 ♪ Poop madness ♪ 452 00:18:35,552 --> 00:18:38,555 -♪ Poop madness ♪ -[gasps] 453 00:18:38,638 --> 00:18:39,472 Nick? 454 00:18:39,556 --> 00:18:41,975 Not anymore. You turned me into Soup! 455 00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:47,230 -Calling all Thick Hogsmen! [snorts] -[yells] 456 00:18:47,313 --> 00:18:48,815 [Seth] It's chow time! 457 00:18:48,898 --> 00:18:52,652 -♪ Organs twist, intestines pound ♪ -No! Nick! 458 00:18:52,735 --> 00:18:56,406 This is fucked up. This is beyond the pale. 459 00:18:56,489 --> 00:18:58,533 Why are you such a shithead? 460 00:18:58,616 --> 00:19:00,493 ♪ Poop madness ♪ 461 00:19:00,577 --> 00:19:03,746 No! [groans] 462 00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:09,252 Ugh. That transphobic, cargo-short  wearing, Canadian motherfucker! 463 00:19:09,335 --> 00:19:12,505 I just can't believe someone so stupid could make me feel so bad. 464 00:19:12,589 --> 00:19:14,340 Should we go kick his ass? 465 00:19:14,424 --> 00:19:16,426 Yeah, maybe. Are you good at fighting? 466 00:19:16,509 --> 00:19:17,385 I have never fought. 467 00:19:17,468 --> 00:19:19,470 I kicked someone in the back really hard once. 468 00:19:19,554 --> 00:19:21,347 But you know, I don't think that's the best way 469 00:19:21,431 --> 00:19:22,849 to spend our last few hours at camp. 470 00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:25,268 I mean, at least you got your first kiss. 471 00:19:25,351 --> 00:19:28,104 Yeah, and I made a really special friend this summer. 472 00:19:28,188 --> 00:19:29,772 Milk's dad's friend, Bob Reedy? 473 00:19:29,856 --> 00:19:33,109 -[laughs] No, you fucking idiot. You. -I knew that. 474 00:19:33,193 --> 00:19:35,653 My first kiss was with a troll named Myron. 475 00:19:35,737 --> 00:19:37,697 He had a flat ass and buck teeth. 476 00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:40,074 He could eat me out through a tennis racket. 477 00:19:40,158 --> 00:19:43,286 We dated for eight years. [sighs] 478 00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:44,954 I should call him. 479 00:19:45,038 --> 00:19:46,623 -[buzzing] -[panting] 480 00:19:47,332 --> 00:19:48,249 Gotta calm down. 481 00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:50,210 How? You can't even breathe! 482 00:19:50,293 --> 00:19:51,628 -Everything's fine. -No, it's not. 483 00:19:51,711 --> 00:19:54,088 -I'm clearly dying, but everything's fine. -[moaning] 484 00:19:54,214 --> 00:19:57,133 Is that the sick triceratops from Jurassic Park? 485 00:19:57,217 --> 00:19:58,676 [moaning continues] 486 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,304 Andrew, is that you? Are you okay? 487 00:20:01,387 --> 00:20:03,056 [poop] Ugh! This fucking guy! 488 00:20:03,139 --> 00:20:05,016 Tell him to go jump off a fucking bridge. 489 00:20:05,099 --> 00:20:06,851 I'm fine. You go away! 490 00:20:06,935 --> 00:20:08,895 -Okay, if that's what you want. -[gurgling] 491 00:20:08,978 --> 00:20:11,940 Oh, boy! I changed my mind! Nick, don't leave me! 492 00:20:12,023 --> 00:20:13,316 No! What if it's a trap? 493 00:20:13,441 --> 00:20:14,901 [moans] Please, don't leave me. 494 00:20:14,984 --> 00:20:16,152 What's wrong with you? 495 00:20:16,236 --> 00:20:19,072 -I got poop madness, man! -What? 496 00:20:19,155 --> 00:20:23,243 I haven't shit all summer, and I'm losing my mind. I need your help. 497 00:20:23,326 --> 00:20:24,911 You can't trust him. 498 00:20:24,994 --> 00:20:27,914 Why should I help you? I mean, you've been an asshole to me all summer! 499 00:20:27,997 --> 00:20:30,833 Oh, that's Nick! That's Nick to a T! 500 00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:32,919 Typical selfish little fuck. 501 00:20:33,002 --> 00:20:35,171 Well, you were an asshole to me in the first place. 502 00:20:35,255 --> 00:20:37,757 I said I was sorry. Why can't you let it go? 503 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,717 No! Never let it go! 504 00:20:39,801 --> 00:20:40,802 Hold it in! 505 00:20:40,885 --> 00:20:43,930 I wanna let it go, but it's just so hard. 506 00:20:44,013 --> 00:20:47,558 Look, Andrew, I know, but I've just really missed you. 507 00:20:47,642 --> 00:20:50,270 No, don't be vulnerable. 508 00:20:50,353 --> 00:20:52,063 I've missed you too. 509 00:20:52,146 --> 00:20:53,606 Aww, give me a hug. 510 00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:55,358 -No! -Oh, no! 511 00:20:55,441 --> 00:20:56,943 I'm losing my grip! 512 00:20:57,026 --> 00:20:58,820 [poop] Oh, God! Motherfuckers! 513 00:20:58,903 --> 00:21:01,114 [Tito] There's so much more  to worry about! 514 00:21:01,197 --> 00:21:03,533 Nick! It's coming. 515 00:21:03,616 --> 00:21:05,868 Oh, God! You're gonna shit right now? 516 00:21:05,952 --> 00:21:07,412 I can feel it crowning. 517 00:21:07,495 --> 00:21:10,123 Oh, Nick, no.  I can't do this. I can't do this. 518 00:21:10,206 --> 00:21:13,209 Oh, Andrew, you're already doing it. 519 00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:16,713 Stay right here, Daddy. 520 00:21:16,796 --> 00:21:18,339 I got you, okay? 521 00:21:18,423 --> 00:21:21,050 Your body is doing what it was meant to do! 522 00:21:21,134 --> 00:21:23,553 Oh, get this fucking thing out of me! 523 00:21:23,636 --> 00:21:25,346 You say whatever you need to say. 524 00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:29,350 [exhales] I hate men! I hate men! 525 00:21:29,434 --> 00:21:32,395 -[sentimental music playing] -♪ I stand by you… ♪ 526 00:21:33,521 --> 00:21:35,523 [groans] 527 00:21:38,609 --> 00:21:40,194 [wailing] 528 00:21:41,571 --> 00:21:44,324 You're my hero! I am so proud of you. 529 00:21:44,407 --> 00:21:45,575 One more push. 530 00:21:46,075 --> 00:21:49,662 -[screams] -You're doing it! 531 00:21:49,746 --> 00:21:52,248 [chuckles] Oh, you did it. You did it. 532 00:21:52,332 --> 00:21:54,167 No, Nick. We did it. 533 00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:55,668 Should I cut the cord? 534 00:21:55,752 --> 00:21:57,170 I think it's linguine. 535 00:21:57,837 --> 00:22:02,383 Aww, nine pounds, six ounces,  22-inches long. 536 00:22:02,467 --> 00:22:04,302 What a massive turd. 537 00:22:04,844 --> 00:22:05,970 Hey, you. 538 00:22:06,679 --> 00:22:10,516 Eww! Soup's holding Glouberman's poop! 539 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,060 Kinky little fucks. 540 00:22:12,143 --> 00:22:13,895 They're Soup and Poop! 541 00:22:13,978 --> 00:22:16,898 [chanting] Soup and Poop! 542 00:22:17,023 --> 00:22:18,483 Soup and Poop! 543 00:22:18,983 --> 00:22:20,360 Oh, no, Nick-- 544 00:22:20,443 --> 00:22:22,987 It's okay, man. They can call us whatever they want. 545 00:22:23,071 --> 00:22:25,323 -We have each other. -No, it's not that. 546 00:22:25,406 --> 00:22:29,410 [strains] Honey, I think we're having twins! 547 00:22:29,494 --> 00:22:31,662 -[grunts] -[screaming] 548 00:22:31,746 --> 00:22:35,666 Aww, the second one's a totally different color. 549 00:22:37,085 --> 00:22:38,336 Excuse me, trying to get past. 550 00:22:38,419 --> 00:22:41,089 -Nobody's stopping you. -[scoffs] It was nice the Devins came. 551 00:22:41,172 --> 00:22:42,757 You certainly seemed to have a good time with them. 552 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:43,966 I'm surprised you noticed, 553 00:22:44,050 --> 00:22:47,053 considering how busy you were butt-fucking Matthew and Aiden. 554 00:22:47,136 --> 00:22:49,764 You wish, Lola. In my dreams. 555 00:22:49,847 --> 00:22:52,475 Yeah, right. Like you're even allowed  to go to sleep. 556 00:22:52,558 --> 00:22:55,603 Joke's on you, I'm allowed 30 minutes of sleep, every two-- 557 00:22:56,187 --> 00:22:58,272 -What the fuck! -I can't live like this anymore! 558 00:22:58,356 --> 00:23:00,775 You owe me a Scooby-Doo plate! 559 00:23:00,858 --> 00:23:02,068 Devin was right about you! 560 00:23:02,151 --> 00:23:05,363 She said you were a meatball sub, and I could do slightly better! 561 00:23:05,446 --> 00:23:08,574 Oh, yeah?  Well, Matthew said you were Lola! 562 00:23:08,658 --> 00:23:10,410 How dare he! 563 00:23:10,493 --> 00:23:12,161 You know what, Jay? 564 00:23:12,537 --> 00:23:15,081 I think it's best if we do what my parents did: 565 00:23:15,164 --> 00:23:18,709 divvy up the lotto tickets and move to separate parts of Yonkers! 566 00:23:18,793 --> 00:23:23,423 Let's face it, our pool was gross, and everybody thought we were gross too. 567 00:23:23,506 --> 00:23:26,426 My feet are so wet and dirty! 568 00:23:26,509 --> 00:23:28,136 Oh, yeah? What do you got? 569 00:23:28,219 --> 00:23:30,179 Like, muddy fucking toes? 570 00:23:30,263 --> 00:23:31,931 Something like that. [sniffles] 571 00:23:32,014 --> 00:23:33,641 Lift. Wiggle, wiggle. 572 00:23:33,724 --> 00:23:38,187 You look like you just ran the Kentucky Derby in the rain. 573 00:23:38,271 --> 00:23:40,690 Clip-clop! I'm a little show pony. 574 00:23:40,773 --> 00:23:42,900 Ah! That's so hot. 575 00:23:42,984 --> 00:23:44,527 You know what? Fuck this! 576 00:23:44,610 --> 00:23:46,654 I like navigating the world with you. 577 00:23:46,737 --> 00:23:49,866 -And I'm scared to be alone at my house! -Fuck what everybody else says! 578 00:23:49,949 --> 00:23:52,326 Let's take this love connection to the eighth grade! 579 00:23:52,410 --> 00:23:54,745 Really? You mean like boyfriend and girlfriend? 580 00:23:54,829 --> 00:23:55,746 No! 581 00:23:55,830 --> 00:23:57,915 -What? -Like king and queen. 582 00:23:57,999 --> 00:24:00,501 Oh, fuck, yes! 583 00:24:00,585 --> 00:24:02,420 [Lola laughs] 584 00:24:02,503 --> 00:24:06,174 Mmm! You're a bad boy, aren't you? 585 00:24:06,257 --> 00:24:08,843 Yeah, you're having sex with a boy! 586 00:24:08,926 --> 00:24:11,137 I don't wanna go to sleep! 587 00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:13,347 Oh, you don't have to, Steve. 588 00:24:13,431 --> 00:24:15,725 [Steve] I'm so tired, though! 589 00:24:17,602 --> 00:24:19,896 -[sobbing] -I'm gonna miss you so much. 590 00:24:19,979 --> 00:24:22,190 You have to come see me in the city, okay? 591 00:24:22,273 --> 00:24:24,317 I'm gonna text you every day for the first week, 592 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,278 and then once every six months for the next ten years. 593 00:24:27,361 --> 00:24:28,196 Ditto. 594 00:24:28,279 --> 00:24:30,865 -How you feeling, buddy? -I'm fine, I-- I can walk. 595 00:24:30,948 --> 00:24:33,284 No, they don't want you to. It's an insurance thing. 596 00:24:33,367 --> 00:24:34,660 Hey, Soup, Poop. 597 00:24:34,744 --> 00:24:37,079 Just want to say you two should take good care of each other. 598 00:24:37,163 --> 00:24:40,374 Don't fuck it up 'cause you're afraid of what other people might say, 599 00:24:40,458 --> 00:24:45,004 even if it was the best goddamn kiss of your entire fucking life. 600 00:24:45,087 --> 00:24:46,297 -What? -What? Nothing. 601 00:24:46,380 --> 00:24:48,925 Anyway, I just, uh, got you guys a goodbye present. 602 00:24:49,008 --> 00:24:52,011 -Is it a duck egg? -No! It's not a duck egg! 603 00:24:52,094 --> 00:24:53,513 It's never been a duck egg! 604 00:24:53,596 --> 00:24:55,348 It's been my balls the whole time. 605 00:24:55,431 --> 00:24:57,934 I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to tell you. But now you know. 606 00:24:58,017 --> 00:25:02,563 My dad's friend Bob Reedy calls his testicles his huevos. 607 00:25:02,647 --> 00:25:04,315 Uh, Milk, do me a favor. 608 00:25:04,398 --> 00:25:06,609 You be careful around Bob Reedy, okay? 609 00:25:06,692 --> 00:25:07,652 Nick. 610 00:25:07,735 --> 00:25:09,612 There is no Bob Reedy. 611 00:25:09,695 --> 00:25:11,030 Oh, boy. 612 00:25:13,658 --> 00:25:16,285 Oh, that was a pretty great summer, wasn't it, Nick? 613 00:25:16,369 --> 00:25:18,162 What? No, it fucking sucked. 614 00:25:18,246 --> 00:25:19,872 Best summer of our lives. 615 00:25:19,956 --> 00:25:22,458 At least you got rid of Tito, that anxiety mosquito. 616 00:25:22,542 --> 00:25:23,626 I do feel less anxious. 617 00:25:23,709 --> 00:25:27,421 I just hope my asshole heals before the first day of school. [chuckles] 618 00:25:27,547 --> 00:25:30,341 According to WebMD, I have turtleneck butt. 619 00:25:30,424 --> 00:25:32,134 Yeah, but it was all worth it. 620 00:25:32,218 --> 00:25:33,719 Look at these two rascals. 621 00:25:33,803 --> 00:25:35,346 I've named them Zack and Cody, 622 00:25:35,429 --> 00:25:38,099 and I think they're gonna have a pretty sweet life. 623 00:25:38,182 --> 00:25:40,643 [Nick] All right. Eighth grade, here we come. 624 00:25:40,726 --> 00:25:43,688 -["I'll Stand by You" by Pretenders plays] -[buzzing] 625 00:25:43,771 --> 00:25:45,773 ♪ I'll stand by you ♪ 626 00:25:47,316 --> 00:25:49,610 ♪ I'll stand by you ♪ 627 00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:54,407 ♪ Won't let nobody hurt you♪ 628 00:25:54,490 --> 00:25:56,826 ♪ I'll stand by you ♪ 629 00:25:59,287 --> 00:26:00,454 ♪ So ♪ 630 00:26:02,123 --> 00:26:05,251 ♪ If you're mad, get mad ♪ 631 00:26:05,376 --> 00:26:08,629 ♪ Don't hold it all inside ♪ 632 00:26:09,130 --> 00:26:12,800 ♪ Come on and talk to me now ♪ 633 00:26:13,551 --> 00:26:14,760 ♪ Hey ♪ 634 00:26:16,262 --> 00:26:19,265 ♪ What you got to hide? ♪ 635 00:26:19,807 --> 00:26:22,935 ♪ I get angry too ♪ 636 00:26:23,603 --> 00:26:27,523 ♪ Well, I'm alive like you ♪ 637 00:26:27,607 --> 00:26:30,901 ♪ When you're standing at the crossroads ♪ 638 00:26:31,611 --> 00:26:34,030 [man laughs] "Good at Bizness." 639 00:26:34,113 --> 00:26:35,364 [kazoo plays] 640 00:26:36,115 --> 00:26:38,034 -[man] Chirp. -[man 2] Fathouse.