1 00:00:07,028 --> 00:00:09,196 -[seagulls squawking] -[waves lapping] 2 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,159 [sighs] What a day. 3 00:00:13,242 --> 00:00:14,368 Oh, a sand dollar. 4 00:00:14,910 --> 00:00:16,871 Whoa! What the hell?! 5 00:00:17,663 --> 00:00:20,458 What? Where the fuck did  that wave come from? 6 00:00:20,541 --> 00:00:22,293 [screams] 7 00:00:22,877 --> 00:00:25,755 Ah! My phone is in my pocket. 8 00:00:25,838 --> 00:00:28,924 [shouts] What? Why am I so soaked? 9 00:00:29,008 --> 00:00:30,468 Did I wet the bed? 10 00:00:30,551 --> 00:00:33,429 Mm, who cares? It's warm and womb-y. 11 00:00:33,512 --> 00:00:35,639 -Oh, shit! -Let's just go back to sleep. 12 00:00:35,723 --> 00:00:36,599 It's blood! 13 00:00:36,682 --> 00:00:39,310 [screams] Did you get killed in your sleep, dummy? 14 00:00:39,393 --> 00:00:40,394 Actually, yes. 15 00:00:40,478 --> 00:00:43,439 You know if you die in a dream, you die in real life, Jessi. 16 00:00:43,522 --> 00:00:44,565 That is not true. 17 00:00:44,648 --> 00:00:45,566 That's what I read. 18 00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:50,404 I think... I think I just got the hugest period ever! 19 00:00:50,488 --> 00:00:52,490 Hey, Jessi. Hello and good morning! 20 00:00:52,573 --> 00:00:54,617 What a day to be alive! 21 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,494 Oh, Jesus. What am I gonna do? 22 00:00:56,577 --> 00:00:58,037 What are you gonna do? 23 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,040 -Rick, get the fuck outta here! -But I wanna see what she gonna do. 24 00:01:01,123 --> 00:01:03,667 Jessi? Holy shit, did you kill someone? 25 00:01:03,751 --> 00:01:05,753 No, I just had a huge fat period. 26 00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:07,254 That seems like a lot of blood. 27 00:01:07,338 --> 00:01:10,716 It's way more than normal. And it's also, like, chunky. 28 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,842 -[gags] -Oh, God. 29 00:01:11,926 --> 00:01:14,261 Wow, I'm sorry. That's very visceral. 30 00:01:14,345 --> 00:01:15,304 Yeah, it fucking is. 31 00:01:15,387 --> 00:01:17,264 Visceral? What's visceral mean? 32 00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:19,225 Rick. I told you, get the fuck outta here. 33 00:01:19,308 --> 00:01:21,018 Is it too much period? 34 00:01:21,102 --> 00:01:24,814 No, it's fine, it's totally normal. It's my favorite time of the month. Whoo! 35 00:01:24,897 --> 00:01:27,024 ["Changes" by Charles Bradley plays] 36 00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:32,655 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 37 00:01:36,575 --> 00:01:42,540 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 38 00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:45,292 ♪ Oh, in my life ♪ 39 00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:49,755 ♪ Oh, ooh, ooh! ♪ 40 00:01:58,097 --> 00:01:59,431 Hey, I found another duck egg! 41 00:01:59,515 --> 00:02:00,766 -Aww, man. -I actually found two. 42 00:02:00,850 --> 00:02:02,726 And they're in a nest. A hairy nest. 43 00:02:02,810 --> 00:02:03,644 Hey, hey, hey! 44 00:02:03,727 --> 00:02:07,064 No rat-tailing each other's filthy wankers, you filthy wankers. 45 00:02:07,148 --> 00:02:09,233 The boys' shower rules. 46 00:02:09,316 --> 00:02:10,734 It's so interactive. 47 00:02:10,818 --> 00:02:13,112 Get in there! Check out Seth's duck eggs. 48 00:02:13,195 --> 00:02:15,781 I don't think Seth wants me to look at his balls anymore. 49 00:02:15,865 --> 00:02:18,117 Oh, Nick, that is the saddest thing I ever heard. 50 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,203 Let's face it, those nuts belong to Andrew now. 51 00:02:21,287 --> 00:02:23,247 Ew, Milk, your dick is so weird! 52 00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:24,748 I can see the veins in your balls. 53 00:02:24,832 --> 00:02:26,083 During the Renaissance, 54 00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:29,003 scrota such as mine were considered a delicacy. 55 00:02:29,086 --> 00:02:31,130 No one wants to eat your weird dick, Milk. 56 00:02:31,213 --> 00:02:32,840 I don't even think his dick's that weird. 57 00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:34,425 The only thing that's worse than weird 58 00:02:34,508 --> 00:02:35,759 -is small. -What? 59 00:02:35,843 --> 00:02:38,137 When they see your little rat nose, they'll rip you apart. 60 00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:40,639 Aww, shit, you got an anxito now? 61 00:02:40,723 --> 00:02:42,224 They'll call you Little Dick Nickson. 62 00:02:42,308 --> 00:02:43,559 "I am not a clit." 63 00:02:43,642 --> 00:02:45,227 Or Can't Jack Dickolson. 64 00:02:45,311 --> 00:02:46,770 "Wait till they get a chode of me." 65 00:02:46,854 --> 00:02:48,022 Okay, that's enough! I get it. 66 00:02:48,105 --> 00:02:51,066 Connie, I gotta get outta here. I don't want everyone looking at my dick. 67 00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:53,527 Don't listen to her, baby. You gotta shower. 68 00:02:53,611 --> 00:02:55,654 You got that sleep stank on ya. 69 00:02:55,738 --> 00:02:58,490 I'm just trying to save him from complete humiliation. 70 00:02:58,574 --> 00:03:00,910 Think about it. They see your dick, they make fun of you, 71 00:03:00,993 --> 00:03:03,037 you have no friends, you become the Unabomber, 72 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,956 and you write manifestos like a small-dicked maniac. 73 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,583 Oh, shit, that all tracks. 74 00:03:07,666 --> 00:03:09,710 Skipping one shower's not gonna kill me, right? 75 00:03:09,793 --> 00:03:12,087 Hey, Milk, Milk, lemonade... 76 00:03:12,171 --> 00:03:14,757 -[Milk] Ew! -...around the corner, fudge is made! 77 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,593 -[Schwartz grunts] -I reached my limit with the boys' shower. 78 00:03:20,262 --> 00:03:21,972 Missy, what's wrong? 79 00:03:22,056 --> 00:03:24,516 You don't seem excited to present your boarding pass. 80 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,810 -I'm fine. -She's in anguish 81 00:03:26,894 --> 00:03:29,104 because of all the fucking boys  in her year. 82 00:03:29,188 --> 00:03:30,105 Bunch of pricks. 83 00:03:30,189 --> 00:03:34,777 Hey, Firefly, I know we're flying Delta, but you seem a little JetBlue. 84 00:03:34,860 --> 00:03:37,112 [laughs] Dad. 85 00:03:37,196 --> 00:03:40,032 Did you just think of that, or is that a famous joke? 86 00:03:40,115 --> 00:03:41,492 Let's just get through this queue 87 00:03:41,575 --> 00:03:44,036 so I can pop four Klonopin and wake up in Ibiza. 88 00:03:44,119 --> 00:03:47,122 Oh, we're going to Atlanta to visit my dad's family, 89 00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:48,832 so please don't be on drugs. 90 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:51,877 Sir, you need to take off your jacket. 91 00:03:51,961 --> 00:03:54,505 This? This is a one-piece shirt-vest. 92 00:03:54,588 --> 00:03:56,131 I'm not wearing anything underneath. 93 00:03:56,215 --> 00:04:00,010 Oh, no, I accidentally left my X-Acto knives in here. 94 00:04:00,094 --> 00:04:02,263 -No problem, ma'am. -I love to travel-craft. 95 00:04:02,346 --> 00:04:03,430 -Happy carving. -Thank you. 96 00:04:03,514 --> 00:04:06,350 Oh, why is Dad always getting stopped at the airport? 97 00:04:06,433 --> 00:04:10,604 I think his electric personality must set off all the machines. 98 00:04:10,688 --> 00:04:12,356 -I guess so. -That's bullshit! 99 00:04:12,439 --> 00:04:13,732 She's hiding something from you. 100 00:04:13,816 --> 00:04:16,318 Oh, my mom would never hide anything from me. 101 00:04:16,402 --> 00:04:17,361 She's my best friend. 102 00:04:17,444 --> 00:04:20,864 Right, right, right, well, there goes your other best friend. 103 00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:25,160 So who gets to drink all the half-finished Dasanis at the end of the day? [chuckles] 104 00:04:25,244 --> 00:04:27,538 Excuse me, sir. You need to be in a bin. 105 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,084 Finally, I can poop in private. 106 00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:34,503 Step onto your throne, my king. 107 00:04:34,586 --> 00:04:37,047 Is that a makeshift Squatty Potty? 108 00:04:37,131 --> 00:04:39,675 Yes, Your Anus. And here is your tome. 109 00:04:39,758 --> 00:04:42,636 "Four Hundred and Fifty Yiddish Animal Jokes." 110 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,139 -Written by Carl Reiner's sister? -That's right. 111 00:04:45,222 --> 00:04:46,390 Yes, please! 112 00:04:46,473 --> 00:04:50,185 And now, I shall push with my neck muscles. 113 00:04:50,269 --> 00:04:51,186 -[strains] -[door opens] 114 00:04:51,270 --> 00:04:52,730 -Oh, no. -Someone's in here! 115 00:04:52,813 --> 00:04:55,149 -Blast it quick. Blast it hard! -[grunts] 116 00:04:55,232 --> 00:04:57,526 Oh, no, Maury, it went back up. 117 00:04:57,609 --> 00:04:59,945 -What do you mean "back up"? -"Up." "In." 118 00:05:00,029 --> 00:05:03,324 I was nervous, and it got sucked right back into my guts. 119 00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:05,826 It went back up. Remarkable. 120 00:05:06,535 --> 00:05:07,953 Oh, it's you. 121 00:05:08,037 --> 00:05:09,455 -It's you. -How are you? 122 00:05:09,538 --> 00:05:12,958 We hope very shitty, you backstabbing little Missy kisser. 123 00:05:13,042 --> 00:05:13,959 Hide your pain. 124 00:05:14,043 --> 00:05:17,629 Don't give that friend-stealing Nazi sympathizer the satisfaction. 125 00:05:17,713 --> 00:05:21,884 I'm, uh... I'm great. I just took, like, five showers, so... 126 00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:24,136 -Well, I just shit to completion. -Awesome. 127 00:05:24,219 --> 00:05:27,348 Filled the bowl, then flushed it. A little paper. Nothing to it. 128 00:05:27,431 --> 00:05:29,433 Feels good to use facilities as intended. 129 00:05:29,516 --> 00:05:30,434 It certainly does. 130 00:05:30,517 --> 00:05:31,643 It most certainly does. 131 00:05:31,727 --> 00:05:34,063 Hope you get athlete's foot in your fat ass. 132 00:05:34,146 --> 00:05:35,272 Yes, this is good. 133 00:05:35,356 --> 00:05:37,858 Hold your feelings in, like your shit. 134 00:05:37,941 --> 00:05:39,443 You're becoming a real man. 135 00:05:39,526 --> 00:05:42,529 I'm very proud of you, but I won't tell you that. 136 00:05:42,946 --> 00:05:45,032 -[Jessi groans] -What are you gonna do with that? 137 00:05:45,115 --> 00:05:46,533 I'm gonna wait until the middle of night, 138 00:05:46,617 --> 00:05:48,702 and then I'll put it at the very bottom of a trash can. 139 00:05:48,786 --> 00:05:52,122 Wow. I was expecting something funny, but, man, that's just sad. 140 00:05:52,206 --> 00:05:53,916 Get changed for waterfront, girls. 141 00:05:53,999 --> 00:05:55,584 -Let's go! Bathing suits. -Um... 142 00:05:55,667 --> 00:05:57,503 I don't have to do swimming. 143 00:05:57,586 --> 00:06:01,006 Didn't you read the detailed email from my mom, you bald fuck? 144 00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:03,384 The one that started "Dear Bald Fuck"? 145 00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:04,385 Yes, I did. 146 00:06:04,468 --> 00:06:06,387 You and your mom are both very mean. 147 00:06:06,470 --> 00:06:08,263 That said, you don't have to go swimming. 148 00:06:08,347 --> 00:06:10,265 Glaser, put on your bathing suit. 149 00:06:10,349 --> 00:06:11,350 Sorry. 150 00:06:11,433 --> 00:06:14,186 If I have to swim, I'm gonna get eaten by a shark. 151 00:06:14,269 --> 00:06:16,397 You are basically chum at this point. 152 00:06:16,939 --> 00:06:18,690 Fuck, what am I gonna do? 153 00:06:18,774 --> 00:06:20,192 What is she gonna do, baby? 154 00:06:20,275 --> 00:06:22,319 -Rick, get the hell out of here! -[groans] 155 00:06:22,444 --> 00:06:24,571 What about if we get a tampon up in there? 156 00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:28,283 No! No way. I am not ready to stick something up there. 157 00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:32,162 -What if it gets lost and never comes out? -Like Daniel Dave Lewis in an acting role! 158 00:06:32,246 --> 00:06:34,373 Or what if it, like, breaks my hymen? 159 00:06:34,456 --> 00:06:37,084 There will be blood! Shout-out to my main man, Daniel Dave. 160 00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:38,836 Nope, I'm not doing a tampon. 161 00:06:38,919 --> 00:06:40,421 I can't. It's too scary. 162 00:06:40,504 --> 00:06:42,089 [vagina] Yoo-hoo! I have an idea. 163 00:06:42,172 --> 00:06:43,298 You could just free-vag it, 164 00:06:43,382 --> 00:06:46,176 like that lady who ran the marathon and let the blood run down her legs. 165 00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,094 She was fun! 166 00:06:47,177 --> 00:06:50,013 -That sounds so bleak. -[coughs] Oh! 167 00:06:50,139 --> 00:06:51,265 Clot. Excuse me. 168 00:06:51,348 --> 00:06:52,808 Um, I can figure this out. 169 00:06:52,891 --> 00:06:55,811 I can swim with pads. I'll just stack 'em. 170 00:06:55,894 --> 00:06:56,937 [vagina] You do you, girl. 171 00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:59,773 And then just, like, tie 'em together with floss. It's no big deal. 172 00:06:59,857 --> 00:07:02,192 Maybe the floss will get all the blood chunks out 173 00:07:02,276 --> 00:07:03,360 of your pussy's teeth. 174 00:07:03,444 --> 00:07:05,362 You know what? I'll take it from here, thanks. 175 00:07:06,655 --> 00:07:07,823 [Seth chuckles] T to the H! 176 00:07:07,906 --> 00:07:09,825 -T to the what? -T-H in your face! 177 00:07:09,908 --> 00:07:10,868 You know how it is. 178 00:07:10,951 --> 00:07:12,077 I do know how it is. 179 00:07:12,161 --> 00:07:13,662 -Oink. Oink, oink. -[snorts] 180 00:07:13,745 --> 00:07:16,665 Wait, Nick, Nick, Nick! Um, I just have a question for you. 181 00:07:16,748 --> 00:07:18,292 -Are you a TH? -Um... 182 00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:21,253 -Take your time, think about it. -They've got inside jokes! 183 00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:22,838 Uh, what does "TH" stand for? 184 00:07:22,921 --> 00:07:25,007 -"Terrible hemorrhoid"? -Or maybe "teen hunk"? 185 00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:26,508 [groans] Say something perfect! 186 00:07:26,592 --> 00:07:29,136 Um, I think I am a TH? 187 00:07:29,219 --> 00:07:30,304 -[laughing] -He thinks he is. 188 00:07:30,387 --> 00:07:31,263 "I think I'm a T--" 189 00:07:31,346 --> 00:07:34,141 If you're not sure, then you're definitely not a TH. 190 00:07:34,224 --> 00:07:35,684 Isn't that right, TH? 191 00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:36,810 -No way! -Oink. 192 00:07:36,894 --> 00:07:37,811 Oink, oink, oink! 193 00:07:37,895 --> 00:07:40,731 Oh, no! You missed everything when you didn't take a shower. 194 00:07:40,814 --> 00:07:42,357 I told you you'd have no friends. 195 00:07:42,441 --> 00:07:43,775 You're gonna be alone forever. 196 00:07:43,859 --> 00:07:46,195 And when you die, no one will care. 197 00:07:46,653 --> 00:07:49,281 No one? Not even my parents? 198 00:07:49,406 --> 00:07:51,366 I'm glad he's gone. I never loved him. 199 00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:52,701 I faked all our hugs. 200 00:07:52,784 --> 00:07:54,077 But they felt so real. 201 00:07:54,161 --> 00:07:55,245 T to the H! 202 00:07:55,329 --> 00:07:56,997 Yeah, TH for life! Oink, oink. 203 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,124 TH makes me think of a top hat, 204 00:07:59,208 --> 00:08:01,460 which is what I'm gonna wear on the first day of school. 205 00:08:01,543 --> 00:08:02,377 Shut up, Milk. 206 00:08:02,461 --> 00:08:06,507 And on the second day of school, I'm gonna wear a cape. 207 00:08:07,049 --> 00:08:09,718 And then we landed at the airport. 208 00:08:09,801 --> 00:08:11,637 And then we rented a car. 209 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,680 And then we drove here. 210 00:08:13,764 --> 00:08:17,017 [groans] No fucking shit, Monica. That's how you get places. 211 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:20,938 We drove on the parkway, and then we parked on the driveway. 212 00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,481 Whoa, Uncle Cyrus! 213 00:08:22,564 --> 00:08:24,900 Look who it is. My favorite fat vegetarian. [chuckles] 214 00:08:24,983 --> 00:08:26,902 I know I am, but what are you? 215 00:08:26,985 --> 00:08:29,571 Ooh. Yeah, and what are they? 216 00:08:29,655 --> 00:08:31,281 They're my cousins, Lena and Quinta. 217 00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:34,243 Hey, Missy. Ooh, you got little titties growing in. 218 00:08:34,326 --> 00:08:35,702 -Okay. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 219 00:08:35,786 --> 00:08:37,621 These girls. This is the fucking crew. 220 00:08:37,704 --> 00:08:40,499 All right, show Missy and her little titties her room. 221 00:08:40,582 --> 00:08:42,751 -She's staying with you guys. -Okay, Titties, let's go. 222 00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:44,086 I don't want that to be my nickname 223 00:08:44,169 --> 00:08:46,046 -for the entire trip. -We gonna call her Titties. 224 00:08:46,129 --> 00:08:47,297 -Darn it. -Y'all crazy. 225 00:08:47,381 --> 00:08:50,384 Yeah! Who needs Ibiza when we've got Atlanta? 226 00:08:50,467 --> 00:08:53,178 See if they know Donald Glover so you can suck his nob. 227 00:08:53,262 --> 00:08:54,555 Don't say "nob." 228 00:08:54,638 --> 00:08:56,765 If you need to say it at all, say "penis." 229 00:08:56,848 --> 00:08:57,849 This is America. 230 00:08:58,016 --> 00:09:00,769 Oh. [hums] 231 00:09:00,852 --> 00:09:02,646 -Please stop. -But do I look like it? 232 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,609 Oh, what do you think? No one's gonna notice, right? 233 00:09:07,693 --> 00:09:10,779 That the airbag in your pussy went off? It's possible. 234 00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:14,741 -[dolphin wailing] -Get outta here, you sexy freak of nature! 235 00:09:14,825 --> 00:09:16,994 Go smell somebody else's menstruals. 236 00:09:17,619 --> 00:09:19,538 All right, look at me. 237 00:09:19,621 --> 00:09:22,165 Jessi: one. Period: zero. 238 00:09:25,127 --> 00:09:27,671 Ew! Oh, my God! What is that? 239 00:09:27,754 --> 00:09:30,048 No, no, no, no! My crotch boat! 240 00:09:30,132 --> 00:09:33,510 Well, hold on, maybe the children will be nice. 241 00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:35,512 Who would wear a pad in the water? 242 00:09:35,637 --> 00:09:36,930 [Seth] Ew. Gross! 243 00:09:37,014 --> 00:09:39,182 I don't wanna know girls get their periods. 244 00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:41,143 No farties, no poopies, no periods. 245 00:09:41,226 --> 00:09:42,311 Keep it all in there! 246 00:09:42,394 --> 00:09:44,521 Who even has a period that big, am I right? 247 00:09:44,605 --> 00:09:48,942 Yeah, mine's just like a Skittle that falls out, and I just throw it away. 248 00:09:49,026 --> 00:09:51,486 Oh, dear God, please disappear me from this life. 249 00:09:53,238 --> 00:09:54,698 Holy shit! 250 00:09:54,781 --> 00:09:57,826 The lady pads are sucking up the lake. 251 00:09:58,952 --> 00:10:01,413 Oh, for fuck's sake. What? 252 00:10:01,496 --> 00:10:03,749 Everyone out! It's creating a vortex! 253 00:10:03,832 --> 00:10:07,044 -[all screaming] -[boy] Everybody out of the water! 254 00:10:07,127 --> 00:10:09,838 It's a big pad disaster! 255 00:10:11,798 --> 00:10:13,842 [goose squawking] 256 00:10:16,678 --> 00:10:19,181 Hey! It's the kids who disappeared last year. 257 00:10:19,264 --> 00:10:20,265 Mystery solved. 258 00:10:20,349 --> 00:10:23,727 Whichever one of you menstruators did this owes me a lake. 259 00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:25,312 Hey, how's camp going for you? 260 00:10:25,395 --> 00:10:27,314 -Absolutely terrible, you? -Constant nightmare. 261 00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:28,315 -Oh, perfect. -Great. 262 00:10:28,398 --> 00:10:30,525 I'm gonna go to archery and shoot an arrow into my face. 263 00:10:30,609 --> 00:10:32,194 Save some of that suicide for me. 264 00:10:32,277 --> 00:10:33,945 -[Jessi] Okay! -[laughs] 265 00:10:34,821 --> 00:10:37,532 -Ugh! Ralph texted me again. -I told you, men are trash. 266 00:10:37,616 --> 00:10:39,951 Oh, wow,  that's a rather aggressive qualifier, 267 00:10:40,035 --> 00:10:43,121 but I do agree that men are garbage. 268 00:10:43,205 --> 00:10:44,831 You know what? Niggas ain't shit. 269 00:10:44,915 --> 00:10:46,083 Whoa-ho-ho! 270 00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:47,793 Okay. Oh, boy. [gasps]  271 00:10:47,876 --> 00:10:49,002 N-word alert. 272 00:10:49,127 --> 00:10:51,713 -Girl, "n-word"? -Man, that's some shit her mom taught her. 273 00:10:51,797 --> 00:10:53,882 Yeah, she says you're never supposed to say that word. 274 00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:56,468 She can't say it 'cause she's  of the Caucasian persuasion. 275 00:10:56,551 --> 00:10:57,928 -But you can. -Oh, no, no. 276 00:10:58,011 --> 00:11:00,555 [chuckles nervously]  I don't-- I definitely cannot. 277 00:11:00,639 --> 00:11:02,474 -Yes, you can. -I promise you, 278 00:11:02,557 --> 00:11:06,395 it is not okay for me to say that word. 279 00:11:06,478 --> 00:11:08,605 Besides, I don't believe anyone should say it. 280 00:11:08,689 --> 00:11:10,440 I was raised in a post-racial household. 281 00:11:10,524 --> 00:11:11,858 [scoffs] That's fucking Monica. 282 00:11:11,942 --> 00:11:14,111 Yeah, but you gotta blame Uncle Cyrus' old siddity ass too. 283 00:11:14,194 --> 00:11:16,488 Careful! I don't know what "siddiddity" means, 284 00:11:16,571 --> 00:11:19,408 but you're talking about my best friends, and it doesn't seem positive. 285 00:11:19,491 --> 00:11:20,409 -Missy. -Uh-huh. 286 00:11:20,492 --> 00:11:21,326 -Baby girl. -Cool. 287 00:11:21,410 --> 00:11:23,412 Your parents are straight-up dorks. 288 00:11:23,495 --> 00:11:25,163 -What? -Yes! That's what I said. 289 00:11:25,247 --> 00:11:27,374 Man, they're corny as fuck. 290 00:11:27,457 --> 00:11:30,127 And worst of all, they've been depriving you of your own culture. 291 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:31,044 They have? 292 00:11:31,128 --> 00:11:33,046 -Yes, have you ever had your hair braided? -No. 293 00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:34,965 Forced to watch a bootleg of a Tyler Perry play? 294 00:11:35,048 --> 00:11:35,882 I don't know. 295 00:11:35,966 --> 00:11:37,759 Do you prefer sweet potato pie  or pumpkin pie? 296 00:11:37,843 --> 00:11:40,011 -What's the difference? -I'm gonna slap her in the face. 297 00:11:40,095 --> 00:11:42,514 -Your parents haven't let you be Black. -What? 298 00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:45,600 Yeah! Now we're stirring the pot, baby. 299 00:11:45,684 --> 00:11:47,477 But if you want us to help you... 300 00:11:47,561 --> 00:11:48,603 -Please! -I do. 301 00:11:48,687 --> 00:11:51,148 -Then all you have to do... -Yeah? 302 00:11:51,231 --> 00:11:52,357 ...is say nig-- 303 00:11:52,441 --> 00:11:56,111 No, no, no. All I have to do is say no to that word. 304 00:11:56,194 --> 00:11:58,029 I'm just kidding. Let's go shopping. 305 00:11:58,113 --> 00:12:00,574 -Yeah. -Get you some new... just everything. 306 00:12:00,657 --> 00:12:03,285 -Let's get her some new everything. -You need a whole new situation. 307 00:12:03,368 --> 00:12:05,454 Yes! I nicked Cyrus's wallet. 308 00:12:05,537 --> 00:12:07,456 His middle name is "Byrus"? 309 00:12:07,539 --> 00:12:09,374 Cyrus Byrus? 310 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:10,876 Okay. 311 00:12:11,376 --> 00:12:14,212 -There you go. That shouldn't fall off. -Ooh. Smart. 312 00:12:14,296 --> 00:12:15,714 So much thick, wonderful hair. 313 00:12:15,797 --> 00:12:18,592 Look at them, they're so intimate. And you're stuck with Milk. 314 00:12:18,675 --> 00:12:22,012 Okay, Milk, as a volleyball partner, you would not have been my first choice. 315 00:12:22,095 --> 00:12:23,764 My dad's friend Bob Reedy 316 00:12:23,847 --> 00:12:26,767 says there's no such thing as choice, only destiny. 317 00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:28,477 -Shut the fuck up, Milk. -Okay. 318 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:32,063 -Let's beat these sons of bitches. -Ha! Fat chance, denim pants. 319 00:12:32,147 --> 00:12:35,192 Volleyball in jeans? We doing a Top Gun kind of thing? 320 00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:39,821 Oh, man, my hormone monster, Val Kilmer, is gonna love this. 321 00:12:39,905 --> 00:12:43,492 Face it, losers, you're gonna lose.  Service! [grunts] 322 00:12:44,493 --> 00:12:46,536 I got it. I got it! I don't have it. 323 00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:48,789 -[grunts] -Set! 324 00:12:48,872 --> 00:12:49,706 Ooh! 325 00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:51,416 Yay! 326 00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:54,461 Oh, that was yours, Milk! 327 00:12:54,544 --> 00:12:56,213 -Chest bump. Yeah! -Yeah! 328 00:12:57,297 --> 00:12:58,632 -Hey! -I'm diving! 329 00:12:58,715 --> 00:13:01,802 -Shit! -You like spikes? [grunts] 330 00:13:01,885 --> 00:13:04,137 -[retches] -Oh! Milk! 331 00:13:04,221 --> 00:13:05,764 -I throwed up. -Ugh! 332 00:13:05,847 --> 00:13:08,099 Come on, Seth, let's get outta here before I throw up, 333 00:13:08,183 --> 00:13:10,811 'cause when I see other people throw up-- [retches] 334 00:13:10,894 --> 00:13:13,104 That's so weird, 'cause so do-- [retches] 335 00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:15,690 Hashtag Me Three. [retches] 336 00:13:15,774 --> 00:13:17,400 Ew, gross! 337 00:13:17,484 --> 00:13:19,861 Oh, God, he puked on you. 338 00:13:19,945 --> 00:13:23,114 Now you smell as if Cheetos made wine. [retches] 339 00:13:23,198 --> 00:13:24,407 Ow, my eye! 340 00:13:24,491 --> 00:13:25,617 I'm sorry. 341 00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,410 I throw up when I want to. 342 00:13:27,494 --> 00:13:28,620 Quick facteroo: 343 00:13:28,703 --> 00:13:31,748 in the UK, beach volleyball is called Paddington Bear. 344 00:13:31,832 --> 00:13:33,208 And now this. 345 00:13:35,126 --> 00:13:37,546 Look at you, Titties, those jeans are fire! 346 00:13:37,629 --> 00:13:41,675 -Damn, cuz. Looking all grown up and shit. -Oh, they do feel pretty snazzy, 347 00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:42,759 I've gotta say. 348 00:13:42,843 --> 00:13:44,845 Yes, you've got a body. 349 00:13:44,928 --> 00:13:46,054 I do, don't I? 350 00:13:46,137 --> 00:13:48,348 Permission to smack my own ass? 351 00:13:48,431 --> 00:13:49,683 Granted! [chuckles] 352 00:13:49,766 --> 00:13:52,644 Now you can finally get rid of those wretched overalls. 353 00:13:52,727 --> 00:13:55,647 Oh, wow, I...  I didn't really think about that. 354 00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:58,149 Oh, no. Don't leave me, Missy. 355 00:13:58,233 --> 00:13:59,734 I'm your iconic look. 356 00:13:59,818 --> 00:14:01,486 Oh, shut the fuck up, overalls. 357 00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:04,531 You make her look like a baby farmer, and you suck shite. 358 00:14:04,614 --> 00:14:07,117 Oh, golly, why are you so mean? 359 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,619 Mona, please. Let me handle this. 360 00:14:09,703 --> 00:14:13,206 Overalls, I wanna thank you for all the good times. 361 00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:17,294 Remember when you couldn't get my clasps off at the bowling alley 362 00:14:17,377 --> 00:14:18,753 and you ended up peeing in me? 363 00:14:18,837 --> 00:14:22,382 You never made me feel bad about that, even though you were soaked in my urine. 364 00:14:22,465 --> 00:14:24,634 Oh, Missy, I'm scared. 365 00:14:24,718 --> 00:14:26,469 I'm not ready to say goodbye. 366 00:14:26,553 --> 00:14:29,514 Well, I'm scared too. But it's time. 367 00:14:29,598 --> 00:14:31,057 I'm gonna donate you to Goodwill, 368 00:14:31,141 --> 00:14:33,351 and you'll make some other kid as happy as you've made me. 369 00:14:33,435 --> 00:14:35,770 No! I'd rather die! 370 00:14:35,854 --> 00:14:39,357 Just douse me in gas and light me on fire. 371 00:14:39,441 --> 00:14:40,859 -Overalls, don't say that. -[sobs] 372 00:14:40,942 --> 00:14:43,778 It's okay. We're both gonna be okay. 373 00:14:43,862 --> 00:14:46,072 Talking to your clothes? [laughs] 374 00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:47,741 That is some white-girl shit right there. 375 00:14:47,824 --> 00:14:49,910 Girl, please, you did the exact same thing with your blanket. 376 00:14:49,993 --> 00:14:52,579 You know damn well his name was Bonky… 377 00:14:52,662 --> 00:14:55,498 [sobs] …and I will never forget him. 378 00:14:57,709 --> 00:14:59,336 [exhales] Okay, good, the coast is clear. 379 00:14:59,419 --> 00:15:02,464 But you better shower quick. Somebody could show up at any moment. 380 00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:03,590 I know that. Shut up! 381 00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:06,259 I just want you to be safe. I'm trying to protect you. 382 00:15:06,343 --> 00:15:07,385 [voices approaching] 383 00:15:07,469 --> 00:15:09,387 Oh, man, I cannot wait to drink and drive. 384 00:15:09,471 --> 00:15:11,389 -Oh, shit! -You gotta get out of here! 385 00:15:11,473 --> 00:15:13,683 I can't, I'm covered in dried puke. And... 386 00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:15,852 And really, how bad could it be? 387 00:15:15,936 --> 00:15:17,854 -[Seth] TH, baby! Thick Hogsman. -[Andrew laughs] 388 00:15:17,938 --> 00:15:18,939 "Thick Hogsman"? 389 00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:21,358 [Andrew] I know I'm a Thick Hogsman. What about you, Seth? 390 00:15:21,441 --> 00:15:23,735 I don't know, is this a thick hog? [chuckles] 391 00:15:23,818 --> 00:15:26,488 [exclaims] That is a husky  truffle sniffer, my friend. 392 00:15:26,571 --> 00:15:28,740 Thick Hogsmen for life! [both snort] 393 00:15:28,865 --> 00:15:31,660 Thick Hogsman? That's what TH means. 394 00:15:31,743 --> 00:15:34,162 Their penises are thick, hairy hogs, 395 00:15:34,245 --> 00:15:36,331 and yours is a bald, little piglet. 396 00:15:36,414 --> 00:15:39,250 Ah, Nick, it's not the size of the pig. 397 00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:41,586 It's the flavor of the bacon. 398 00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:43,588 That's what boys with tiny dicks say. 399 00:15:43,672 --> 00:15:45,465 -Run, piggy, run! -Ugh! 400 00:15:46,925 --> 00:15:49,594 Hey, Nick, you want some strawberry lemonade? 401 00:15:49,678 --> 00:15:51,554 Ew! There's blood in your pee? 402 00:15:51,638 --> 00:15:54,891 I got hit in the balls with a hockey puck. It's fine. Everything's fine. 403 00:15:56,726 --> 00:15:58,979 Look, I don't get why you just can't ask for a tampon. 404 00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:01,398 For some strange reason, I don't want everyone picturing 405 00:16:01,481 --> 00:16:03,358 -blood gushing out of my goosh. -That's fair. 406 00:16:03,441 --> 00:16:06,236 Plus if I ask for a tampon, it'll connect me to the monster lake pad. 407 00:16:06,319 --> 00:16:08,238 Yeah, look, it's still out there. 408 00:16:10,699 --> 00:16:12,033 [screams] 409 00:16:12,117 --> 00:16:13,034 Oh, God. 410 00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:16,746 Ooh, I think I found some cooter plugs for your ginormous period. 411 00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:19,332 -We're dainty. -Your massive flow will surely drown us. 412 00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:20,375 I don't wanna die. 413 00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:22,669 Okay, these gals are not up for the job. 414 00:16:22,752 --> 00:16:24,087 Ladies, we love you. 415 00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:26,297 But we decided to go in a different direction. 416 00:16:27,882 --> 00:16:28,717 Fuck! 417 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,635 That skinny bitch has a big fat period. 418 00:16:30,719 --> 00:16:32,262 -We'll pop your cherry, Jessi. -What? 419 00:16:32,345 --> 00:16:34,889 -We're gonna stretch your vag so far... -Ugh! 420 00:16:34,973 --> 00:16:37,100 ...you'll have to gather it back up to put on underwear. 421 00:16:37,183 --> 00:16:39,269 -Uh... -The only way you're gonna get me out 422 00:16:39,352 --> 00:16:42,063 is to tie my string to the back of a fucking pickup truck. 423 00:16:42,147 --> 00:16:44,649 -[shouts] -They might not be for you, 424 00:16:44,733 --> 00:16:46,776 but I am intrigued. 425 00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:49,237 -[Natalie] Jessi, I think I found some. -Salutations! 426 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,406 We're just right for you, mamacita. 427 00:16:51,489 --> 00:16:54,826 And totally stoked to be riding your crimson wave. 428 00:16:54,909 --> 00:16:56,828 -Okay. -They seem nice. 429 00:16:56,911 --> 00:17:00,373 Let's put 'em in your vagina so they can drink up your period. 430 00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:03,585 Sweetie, who has been doing your hair? 431 00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:05,503 -Oh, my mother. -She got a white mama, yo. 432 00:17:05,587 --> 00:17:08,006 -[woman] Uh-uh. -What shampoo do you use? 433 00:17:08,089 --> 00:17:09,591 Well, Tom's of Maine, of course. 434 00:17:09,674 --> 00:17:10,842 Maine? Like the state? 435 00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:12,302 No, like the toothpaste. 436 00:17:12,385 --> 00:17:16,306 They make a six-in-one, so it's soap, shampoo, a laundry detergent-- 437 00:17:16,389 --> 00:17:20,185 I feed it to my grandma to keep her sick so I can take care of her. 438 00:17:20,268 --> 00:17:21,936 And then everyone thinks I'm a saint. 439 00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:23,688 Okay, okay. 440 00:17:23,772 --> 00:17:25,523 What are we gonna do with her hair? 441 00:17:25,607 --> 00:17:28,735 Yeah, what are you gonna do, baby? 442 00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:30,904 Celeste, go back to sleep. 443 00:17:30,987 --> 00:17:32,113 Okay. 444 00:17:32,197 --> 00:17:33,656 Is that your grandma? 445 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:36,201 No, I keep my grandma much sicker. 446 00:17:36,284 --> 00:17:38,870 Tom's of Maine. Keep your grandma sick. 447 00:17:38,953 --> 00:17:40,830 I mean, are we straightening it? Braids? 448 00:17:40,914 --> 00:17:43,166 -Twists? Sew-ins? What? -Well, I like braids like Quinta's, 449 00:17:43,249 --> 00:17:45,835 but practically speaking, I don't think I have enough hair. 450 00:17:45,919 --> 00:17:48,004 Oh, don't worry about that, baby girl. We got plenty. 451 00:17:48,088 --> 00:17:50,840 [chuckles] Oh, no,  I don't want somebody else's hair. 452 00:17:50,924 --> 00:17:53,468 -What the hell do you think I have? -So your hair is a liar? 453 00:17:53,551 --> 00:17:56,930 -Oh, I'mma hit her for real this time. -Ooh, you could shave your head like mine. 454 00:17:57,013 --> 00:17:58,598 [laughs, hums] 455 00:17:58,681 --> 00:17:59,974 What is that? Stop doing that. 456 00:18:01,684 --> 00:18:05,730 Mona, will you give me a ride to the hair salon? 457 00:18:05,814 --> 00:18:08,024 I gotta get my hair done. 458 00:18:08,108 --> 00:18:11,027 Oh, Celeste, did you get fucked too hard again? 459 00:18:11,111 --> 00:18:14,280 You should see the other guy, honey. 460 00:18:14,864 --> 00:18:17,242 Come on, baby. You gotta stop that blood. 461 00:18:17,325 --> 00:18:18,701 I know! I know! 462 00:18:18,785 --> 00:18:20,703 But how does this thing, like, even work? 463 00:18:20,787 --> 00:18:22,038 Hey, I'm Mark. 464 00:18:22,122 --> 00:18:23,873 I'm stoked. Let's get in there. 465 00:18:23,957 --> 00:18:27,418 [chuckles] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Mark, whoa, buy me dinner first. 466 00:18:27,502 --> 00:18:30,296 Jessi, we've never done this before. How about a practice run? 467 00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:31,965 Okay, yeah, that's a good call. 468 00:18:32,048 --> 00:18:35,969 So do I, like, pull it, or do I push it, or just, like, stuff it? 469 00:18:36,052 --> 00:18:38,263 -Whoa! -Oh, shit. Oh, I'm so bad at this. 470 00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:42,058 That's okay, I'm ready to get back up and ride that crimson wave. 471 00:18:42,142 --> 00:18:45,895 I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I think you belong to the floor now, Mark. 472 00:18:45,979 --> 00:18:48,439 So it is to be. My journey complete. 473 00:18:48,523 --> 00:18:49,774 Aww. Bye, Mark. 474 00:18:49,858 --> 00:18:52,443 Okay, I think I finally understand the mechanics. 475 00:18:52,527 --> 00:18:53,528 Hey, I'm Mark. 476 00:18:53,611 --> 00:18:55,071 Yes. Hi again. [exhales] 477 00:18:55,155 --> 00:18:57,073 -[vagina] Oh, going in slanted. -[Mark] Not there. 478 00:18:57,157 --> 00:18:58,366 [vagina] A little to the right. 479 00:18:58,449 --> 00:19:01,119 [chuckles] Whoa! Too low. That's the ol' butthole. 480 00:19:01,202 --> 00:19:03,037 Okay, okay, okay. Is this right? 481 00:19:03,121 --> 00:19:06,457 -I wish. He's only halfway in. -[Mark] Double down! 482 00:19:06,541 --> 00:19:07,959 Oh, boy. Not good. Pull it out! 483 00:19:08,042 --> 00:19:09,586 Everybody just shut up! 484 00:19:09,669 --> 00:19:12,547 -Whoa! -Aah! God, that was bad. 485 00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:15,341 -[Connie] It was too dry. -Yeah, it stuck to the sides. 486 00:19:15,425 --> 00:19:19,637 -Your goosh did not like that. -Ugh. I certainly did not. 487 00:19:19,721 --> 00:19:21,472 Okay, this is our last one. 488 00:19:21,556 --> 00:19:23,558 All right, we got this. Let's make it count. 489 00:19:23,641 --> 00:19:24,642 -Hey, I'm Mark-- -Yep. 490 00:19:24,726 --> 00:19:26,102 Oh, we're getting right into it. 491 00:19:26,186 --> 00:19:31,357 Okay. I'm pushing, and I think this is right. Did it work? 492 00:19:31,441 --> 00:19:32,483 Mark, speak to us. 493 00:19:32,567 --> 00:19:35,361 [Mark echoing] I'm in! And it's beautiful! 494 00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:38,072 Oh, my God, you guys. I did it! 495 00:19:38,281 --> 00:19:39,449 I'm a tampon user! 496 00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:43,786 Congratulations on your menstruations, Jessi! 497 00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:46,497 -[Mark] Good on you, Jess! -Ooh-hoo-hoo! It tickles when he talks. 498 00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:51,377 Ugh! I feel so gross from not showering. 499 00:19:51,461 --> 00:19:53,755 Ugh. You smell like a fart farted. 500 00:19:53,838 --> 00:19:54,672 [sniffing] 501 00:19:54,756 --> 00:19:56,633 Ew, what is that stink? 502 00:19:56,716 --> 00:20:00,720 Ugh! It smells like sweet and sour chicken parmesan? 503 00:20:00,803 --> 00:20:03,723 Sometimes I smell Bob Reedy's watch band. 504 00:20:03,806 --> 00:20:04,766 He's my dad's friend. 505 00:20:04,849 --> 00:20:07,101 Milk, shut the fuck up! We're trying to track this stench. 506 00:20:07,727 --> 00:20:10,480 -Oh, no! They're gonna all know it's you. -Aww. 507 00:20:10,563 --> 00:20:11,731 -[sniffs] -[Tito buzzes] 508 00:20:11,814 --> 00:20:14,192 It's Nick. The stench is Nick. 509 00:20:14,275 --> 00:20:16,361 Nick is the stench. Do you think we should say some-- 510 00:20:16,444 --> 00:20:18,947 The stench is Nick! Nick is the stench. 511 00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:21,532 -Okay, you kinda took my thing. -We came up with it together. 512 00:20:21,616 --> 00:20:22,575 Oh, my God, you're right! 513 00:20:22,659 --> 00:20:24,827 Nick, you smell like if a puke took a shit. 514 00:20:24,911 --> 00:20:28,081 You didn't take a shower after I made sick on your chest? 515 00:20:28,164 --> 00:20:29,874 And after I pissed blood on you? 516 00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:31,334 I didn't get a chance to. 517 00:20:31,417 --> 00:20:33,836 No, no, no, no, no. This ain't a one-day stench, 518 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,047 this foul odor's been simmering. 519 00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:38,549 Like a... Like a rancid soup. 520 00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:39,801 Yes. That's it! 521 00:20:39,884 --> 00:20:41,678 That's the smell! It's soup! 522 00:20:41,761 --> 00:20:42,845 Complex. 523 00:20:42,929 --> 00:20:45,306 It's been reducing into layers of smell. 524 00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:47,892 Hey, everyone! He's fucking Soup. 525 00:20:47,976 --> 00:20:48,935 What's up, Soup? 526 00:20:49,018 --> 00:20:51,729 -[all chanting] Soup! Soup... -That's not his name. It's "Soup." 527 00:20:51,813 --> 00:20:53,898 I mean "Nick." Shit, they got me, Soup. 528 00:20:53,982 --> 00:20:56,651 You were afraid they were gonna make fun  of your little dick, 529 00:20:56,734 --> 00:20:58,695 but now they're making fun of your stench. 530 00:20:58,778 --> 00:21:00,571 Matzo No-Ball Soup. Get it? 531 00:21:00,655 --> 00:21:03,950 [chuckles] Hey, guys, what if you called me, um... 532 00:21:04,325 --> 00:21:05,535 Mr. Lasagna? 533 00:21:05,618 --> 00:21:08,579 -Oh, my God! It's so hot. -Yeah, hot like Soup! 534 00:21:08,663 --> 00:21:11,249 Oh, Mr. Lasagna no likey. 535 00:21:11,332 --> 00:21:13,459 Shut the fuck up, Soup! 536 00:21:13,543 --> 00:21:14,877 And eat my dickhole. 537 00:21:14,961 --> 00:21:17,422 I'm gonna fucking kill you, Soup! [chuckles] 538 00:21:17,505 --> 00:21:19,090 Whoa, Milk burned the Soup! 539 00:21:19,173 --> 00:21:20,550 Am I bullying right? 540 00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:24,178 [all chanting] Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! 541 00:21:25,388 --> 00:21:28,516 Ladies and gentleman, the new and improved 542 00:21:28,599 --> 00:21:32,520 Missy "Misdemeanor" Foreman-Greenwald. 543 00:21:32,603 --> 00:21:33,730 [imitates fanfare] 544 00:21:33,813 --> 00:21:36,274 Hey, guys. What's up? [chuckles] 545 00:21:36,357 --> 00:21:38,192 Or should I say, 'sup? 546 00:21:38,568 --> 00:21:40,903 Actually, I think I will actually just stay with 547 00:21:40,987 --> 00:21:42,572 ♪ What's… ♪ 548 00:21:42,655 --> 00:21:45,408 -...up? -Whoa! Looking fly, Firefly. 549 00:21:45,491 --> 00:21:48,077 -[under breath, coughs] Corny. -Missy, look at you! 550 00:21:48,161 --> 00:21:48,995 Do you like it? 551 00:21:49,078 --> 00:21:51,497 It's very... different. 552 00:21:51,581 --> 00:21:54,042 Just to be clear, "different" is not a compliment. 553 00:21:54,125 --> 00:21:55,835 What do you mean by "different"? 554 00:21:55,918 --> 00:21:59,005 It's just all those braids are so elaborate. 555 00:21:59,088 --> 00:22:01,841 I... I don't know how manageable they are. 556 00:22:01,924 --> 00:22:03,468 -Oh! -She did not just say "manageable." 557 00:22:03,551 --> 00:22:05,803 Monica, ix-nay on the anageable-may. 558 00:22:05,887 --> 00:22:08,639 What do you even know about my hair, Mom? You've been washing it with toothpaste. 559 00:22:08,723 --> 00:22:10,308 It's a six-in-one. 560 00:22:10,391 --> 00:22:12,977 Well, it doesn't work on Black hair. 561 00:22:13,061 --> 00:22:14,270 -Straight facts. -Fucking right. 562 00:22:14,354 --> 00:22:16,898 -That's tea, bitch. -And you know what I'm tired of ix-naying? 563 00:22:16,981 --> 00:22:18,649 -The ace-ray alk-tay. -The what? 564 00:22:18,733 --> 00:22:20,151 The race talk! 565 00:22:20,234 --> 00:22:21,986 -Issy-may. -Why they talking about Issa Rae? 566 00:22:22,070 --> 00:22:24,489 You guys haven't taught me anything about being Black. 567 00:22:24,572 --> 00:22:28,743 I didn't even know the difference between pumpkin pie and sweet potato pie, okay? 568 00:22:28,826 --> 00:22:30,078 I like all pies. 569 00:22:30,161 --> 00:22:32,830 There goes Uncle Cyrus with that "All Pies Matter" bullshit. 570 00:22:32,914 --> 00:22:35,541 You're Black, Dad! How come everyone knows that except for you? 571 00:22:35,625 --> 00:22:36,584 -Tell him, girl. -Mm-hmm. 572 00:22:36,667 --> 00:22:37,752 I know I'm Black. 573 00:22:37,835 --> 00:22:40,171 -Then why don't you act like it? -Thank you. 574 00:22:40,254 --> 00:22:41,798 I act like myself. 575 00:22:41,881 --> 00:22:45,176 Stop it, Missy! He's perfect just the way he is. 576 00:22:45,259 --> 00:22:46,469 And you! 577 00:22:47,011 --> 00:22:49,222 -You... -Go in for the kill, Missy. 578 00:22:49,305 --> 00:22:51,432 You better stop stealing our men! 579 00:22:51,516 --> 00:22:52,600 -What? -Oh, damn. 580 00:22:52,683 --> 00:22:53,768 -Too far. -No, I liked it. 581 00:22:53,851 --> 00:22:56,062 -Missy, that's enough. -[sobbing] I just-- 582 00:22:56,145 --> 00:22:57,271 Go to your room. 583 00:22:57,355 --> 00:23:00,024 I just really wanted to show you my new hair. 584 00:23:00,108 --> 00:23:01,442 [sobbing] 585 00:23:03,277 --> 00:23:05,446 [sighs] Oh, boy, did I need a shower. 586 00:23:05,530 --> 00:23:06,906 I feel so much better. 587 00:23:06,989 --> 00:23:08,658 And you smell better, 588 00:23:08,741 --> 00:23:11,160 like a Bed, Bath and Body Works. 589 00:23:11,244 --> 00:23:13,955 You're not gonna be Soup no more. 590 00:23:14,497 --> 00:23:16,999 [clears throat] Hey, guys, just a heads-up. 591 00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:20,962 You can call me Mr. Clean Lasagna now, because I-- 592 00:23:21,045 --> 00:23:24,465 -Shut the fuck up, Soup! -Hey, Soup got wet. We got some wet soup! 593 00:23:24,549 --> 00:23:26,551 -[Schwartz] Soup got wet! -But I don't stink anymore. 594 00:23:26,634 --> 00:23:31,180 You can scrub all you want, Nick, you'll always be Soup. 595 00:23:31,264 --> 00:23:32,473 -[buzzes, grunts] -Ow! 596 00:23:32,557 --> 00:23:34,559 [all chanting] Soup! Soup! Soup! 597 00:23:34,642 --> 00:23:37,395 -Soup! Soup! -[Tito cackles] 598 00:23:39,230 --> 00:23:41,482 Issy-may, a little Abble-scray? 599 00:23:41,566 --> 00:23:43,568 [scoffs] Talk normal, Dad. You're so corny. 600 00:23:43,651 --> 00:23:46,904 I just don't know what's gotten into her lately. 601 00:23:47,029 --> 00:23:49,824 Oh, I'll tell you what's gotten into her, baby. 602 00:23:49,907 --> 00:23:50,908 Me. 603 00:23:50,992 --> 00:23:51,951 Damn right! 604 00:23:52,034 --> 00:23:54,537 Excuse me, ma'am. A ginger ale, please. 605 00:23:54,620 --> 00:23:56,122 And keep 'em coming. 606 00:23:56,205 --> 00:23:58,708 [pilot] Hey, folks, we're encountering some slight turbulence. 607 00:23:58,791 --> 00:24:01,419 Seems an inconsiderate little girl wore a pad into a lake, 608 00:24:01,502 --> 00:24:04,130 and it's causing our instruments to go a little bit haywire. 609 00:24:04,213 --> 00:24:05,965 I don't think there's a pilot alive 610 00:24:06,048 --> 00:24:08,134 who's been trained how to handle something like this. 611 00:24:08,217 --> 00:24:11,137 I can't believe I have to do this every four hours, 612 00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:13,639 every four weeks for the next 40 years. 613 00:24:13,723 --> 00:24:14,682 But on the bright side, 614 00:24:14,765 --> 00:24:17,560 all your underwear's gonna look like two mice fucked to death. 615 00:24:17,643 --> 00:24:20,146 Okay, out comes the old one... 616 00:24:20,229 --> 00:24:21,397 [Mark] My journey complete. 617 00:24:21,481 --> 00:24:22,732 In goes the new one. 618 00:24:22,815 --> 00:24:24,358 -Hey, I'm Mark. -Oh, hi, Mark. 619 00:24:24,442 --> 00:24:25,902 Let's hang ten. 620 00:24:27,069 --> 00:24:28,529 I think I'm getting the hang of this. 621 00:24:28,613 --> 00:24:31,073 You can do it, Jess. Be one with the wave. 622 00:24:31,157 --> 00:24:33,367 Ho-ho! Here comes a ton of blood. 623 00:24:33,451 --> 00:24:34,410 Oh, God. 624 00:24:34,494 --> 00:24:36,829 -Pop up, dude! -[grunts] 625 00:24:37,747 --> 00:24:38,706 I'm doing it. 626 00:24:38,789 --> 00:24:40,208 You are shredding, 627 00:24:40,291 --> 00:24:42,793 and shedding your uterine lining. 628 00:24:42,877 --> 00:24:44,337 I am beyond stoked. 629 00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:46,631 -[Jessi] Whoo-hoo! -We are red-crushing it! 630 00:24:46,714 --> 00:24:48,883 -[dolphin chitters] -[all] Yeah! 631 00:24:51,010 --> 00:24:55,640 ♪ It's that time, that time of the month Well, I woke up early, and I got a hunch ♪ 632 00:24:55,723 --> 00:25:00,811 ♪ Gonna head on down to the beach today Surf all my girl probs away ♪ 633 00:25:00,895 --> 00:25:05,942 ♪ 'Cause all I wanna do is cry Ask mother nature, "Why, why, why?" ♪ 634 00:25:06,025 --> 00:25:10,738 ♪ Listen to the Cramps on my stereo Turn it up as loud as it will go ♪ 635 00:25:10,821 --> 00:25:16,327 ♪ Oh-oh! Surfin', surfin' the wave All the girls are surfin' the wave ♪ 636 00:25:16,410 --> 00:25:19,747 ♪ Surfin' the crimson wave today ♪ 637 00:25:21,207 --> 00:25:25,878 ♪ Gonna call in sick to work I don't care, my boss is a jerk ♪ 638 00:25:26,003 --> 00:25:30,883 ♪ Can't believe all the pain I'm in Get me white wine and vicodin ♪ 639 00:25:30,967 --> 00:25:34,387 ♪ Surfin' the crimson wave today ♪ 640 00:25:39,058 --> 00:25:40,518 [kazoo plays] 641 00:25:41,060 --> 00:25:42,979 -[man] Fathouse. -[ticking] 642 00:25:43,062 --> 00:25:45,982 -[man] Chirp. -[man 2 laughs] "Good at Bizness."