1
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:11,202
EARLIER THIS YEAR...

2
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:14,532
All right, my lady dudes, time for soccer.

3
00:00:14,606 --> 00:00:16,666
[Steve whistles]...

4
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,510
...[Gina] Okay, it's no big deal.

5
00:00:18,610 --> 00:00:20,679
No one will notice.
- [Andrew] Boobs!

6
00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:22,556
Boobs!
- Where did those come from?

7
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,433
Below the neck, above the waist...
- Boobs!

8
00:00:24,533 --> 00:00:27,477
[Andrew] It's definitely them.
- [Jay softly] They're looking right at me.

9
00:00:27,577 --> 00:00:29,512
[grunts] Jesus.

10
00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:32,524
So that's how it felt.
- Are you sure I said 'boobs'?

11
00:00:32,624 --> 00:00:35,277
I could have sworn I said,
'Boo, stare at her brain!'

12
00:00:35,377 --> 00:00:37,029
No, you said 'boobs.'

13
00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:39,239
Yeah, that does sound more like me.
- [chuckles]

14
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,532
Anyway, I'm sorry.

15
00:00:40,632 --> 00:00:43,160
Going through all that
must have been really weird.

16
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,496
Well, I mean, it's not all bad.
Sometimes I even kinda like them.

17
00:00:46,596 --> 00:00:48,415
Sure. I mean, they're not terrible.

18
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,000
Shut up! [laughs]

19
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,918
It's really cool that I can talk to you
about this stuff.

20
00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:54,120
Yeah.
- Even though you're like, stupid.

21
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,006
Tell her you're stupid hard!

22
00:00:56,106 --> 00:00:58,425
Shh! You're right. I am stupid...

23
00:00:58,525 --> 00:00:59,468
Stupid into you.

24
00:00:59,568 --> 00:01:01,970
Aw! That was so corny!

25
00:01:02,070 --> 00:01:03,638
I know. Did it work?

26
00:01:03,738 --> 00:01:05,891
It didn't not work.

27
00:01:05,991 --> 00:01:08,218
Hmm.
- Come here.

28
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,937
She's opening her mouth.
Put your wiener in.

29
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:13,190
Ooh, it's so slick in there.

30
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:14,691
Step aside, sugar.

31
00:01:14,791 --> 00:01:16,818
A make-out concerto...

32
00:01:16,918 --> 00:01:19,321
...in full C... cup.

33
00:01:19,421 --> 00:01:21,398
[inhales]...

34
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:26,768
...[both moaning]
- [dramatic classical music plays]...

35
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:35,837
Unh, unh, unh!
- Sorry.

36
00:01:35,937 --> 00:01:37,297
Just relax...

37
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:39,257
...and follow my lead, baby.

38
00:01:39,357 --> 00:01:42,332
Oh, you're a strong mommy.

39
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,796
Oh, I get it.

40
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,932
[Hormone Monstress clears throat]
Hint, hint.

41
00:01:47,032 --> 00:01:49,559
Should he choke her?
- Not unless he wants to get smacked.

42
00:01:49,659 --> 00:01:52,721
Does he want to get smacked?

43
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:56,051
[moaning, kissing]

44
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,571
Not bad, newbie.

45
00:02:01,671 --> 00:02:05,117
We touched a boob!
We touched a boob!

46
00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:06,326
[kissing]

47
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,370
Oh, you're so fucking hot.

48
00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:10,664
[licking, kissing]

49
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:15,076
I want to touch your boobs!

50
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:20,890
♪ I'm going through changes ♪...

51
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:30,066
...♪ I'm going through changes ♪...

52
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:36,232
...♪ In my life ♪

53
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,285
Oh Missy, please don't go.

54
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,578
But what shall I do?

55
00:02:49,678 --> 00:02:51,955
You're married to a deranged woman
who is mean to you,

56
00:02:52,055 --> 00:02:53,874
but you won't leave her
because you're so loyal,

57
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:57,210
[sighs] and you smell like oak after a storm.

58
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,087
Oh, you are my destiny.

59
00:02:59,187 --> 00:03:00,714
If I can't have you,

60
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,008
I'll throw myself
from these cliffs dramatically,

61
00:03:03,108 --> 00:03:05,218
because I'm sensitive,
and I love to travel.

62
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,262
Don't do that! I guess.

63
00:03:07,362 --> 00:03:09,181
I mean, think about it,
but don't actually--...

64
00:03:09,281 --> 00:03:12,058
Whoa! What are you doing?
- I'm mounting your horse,

65
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:15,437
so I may gaze straight into your eyes
whilst professing my love to you.

66
00:03:15,537 --> 00:03:18,565
Oh darn it, Mr. Fillion. I trust you,

67
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,066
and you're very sexy.

68
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,360
Oh, Missy, I love your bustle.

69
00:03:22,460 --> 00:03:24,946
It makes you look ravishingly intelligent.

70
00:03:25,046 --> 00:03:26,239
Don't you dare!

71
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:27,324
[Missy moaning]...

72
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,576
...[woman] Missy,
are you almost ready, hon?

73
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,953
We have to leave for the school sleepover.

74
00:03:32,053 --> 00:03:34,831
You don't want to be late!
- Okay, Mom!

75
00:03:34,931 --> 00:03:37,542
Oh, goodness, Wiggles! Darn it.

76
00:03:37,642 --> 00:03:39,461
That was one heck of a worm dance.

77
00:03:39,561 --> 00:03:41,254
I've got full-blown glitter tummy.

78
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:42,797
Maybe we should do some more tonight.

79
00:03:42,897 --> 00:03:45,050
I've got this idea
where you fold me in half...

80
00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:47,010
Oh, tonight's not good for me.

81
00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:49,804
It's just-- It's the class sleepover
for the lunar eclipse.

82
00:03:49,904 --> 00:03:52,349
I've had it on the books for weeks.
- And you're not gonna bring me?

83
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,017
I think you're supposed to stay in my room.

84
00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:55,769
Oh. Yeah.
- I hope you understand.

85
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:58,605
Okay, sure. I'll just stay here
with your American Girl doll.

86
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,691
I'm Maddie.
My backstory is that I was a slave.

87
00:04:01,791 --> 00:04:04,527
Will you brush my hair?
- Yeah, we'll have fun.

88
00:04:04,627 --> 00:04:05,779
[Wiggles grunts]

89
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:09,157
Wiggles! You're relentless.

90
00:04:09,257 --> 00:04:10,617
All right, fine. I'll take you.

91
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:14,821
What? No, that wasn't me.
I don't know what happened!

92
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,375
It's going to be a marvelous night.
Don't you agree, Maddie?

93
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,543
All the other dolls get silver shoes.

94
00:04:20,643 --> 00:04:22,754
Not me. Will you brush my hair?

95
00:04:22,854 --> 00:04:25,173
I'm sorry, Maddie, but I do have to go.

96
00:04:25,273 --> 00:04:27,425
I'm the only doll
that doesn't come with a birthday.

97
00:04:27,525 --> 00:04:29,928
What this company has done to you
is not right.

98
00:04:30,028 --> 00:04:31,629
Will you brush my hair?

99
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:34,808
This sleepover is gonna be
so freaking sick.

100
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,394
Check it out. I brought condoms.

101
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,104
You think you're gonna get laid tonight?

102
00:04:39,204 --> 00:04:40,355
No!
- [grunts]

103
00:04:40,455 --> 00:04:42,565
I'm gonna jack down into these, dudes.

104
00:04:42,665 --> 00:04:44,609
If I was gonna get laid,
I wouldn't use a condom.

105
00:04:44,709 --> 00:04:48,405
I'm not a woman! [laughs]
- That kid's logic is flawless.

106
00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:49,906
What are you eating?

107
00:04:50,006 --> 00:04:52,033
Spaghetti. I'm carbo-loading.

108
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:53,743
We've got a marathon ahead of us.

109
00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:56,913
Fifty sweaty kids sleeping over
in a funky gym.

110
00:04:57,013 --> 00:05:00,498
Good point. Give me a bite, sugar.

111
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:04,412
[slurping, moaning]

112
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:09,301
God, how I gonna be able to sleep
knowing that Lola is just stomping around.

113
00:05:09,401 --> 00:05:11,845
You're scared of Lola?
- She maimed me.

114
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,222
My mom still has to help me
put my pants on.

115
00:05:14,322 --> 00:05:17,842
And I bet you like that, don't you?
- No, that's not his thing.

116
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,853
You keep pushing that and we're not into it.

117
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,354
I don't have a mom pants thing.

118
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,106
Just give the kid a night off.

119
00:05:23,206 --> 00:05:24,941
Give all the kids a night off.

120
00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:27,027
Don't you have a hobby or something?

121
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:31,698
Well, as a matter of fact,
I collect vintage Nazi dildos.

122
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,616
This fucking guy.
- Of course you do.

123
00:05:33,716 --> 00:05:35,201
He figured out a way to ruin dildos.

124
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:39,414
Nick! Why aren't we talking about anything
other than you touching Gina's boobie?

125
00:05:39,514 --> 00:05:41,666
Oh, I don't know
if I should tell them about that.

126
00:05:41,766 --> 00:05:43,835
What? It's awesome news!

127
00:05:43,935 --> 00:05:46,537
There's so much bad
news in the news now.

128
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,256
People want good news,

129
00:05:48,356 --> 00:05:52,469
like a sweet little boy
who touched a boobie and it felt so good!

130
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,511
Okay!

131
00:05:53,611 --> 00:05:56,431
[clears throat] Gentlemen...
- I'm not a gentleman.

132
00:05:56,531 --> 00:05:57,390
Fellas...
- Really?

133
00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:00,393
I hooked up with Gina last night.
- Holy shit! That's good news!

134
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:02,771
Told ya!
- I want details.

135
00:06:02,871 --> 00:06:05,774
Does she still have all her baby teeth?
- What? Why would I know that?

136
00:06:05,874 --> 00:06:07,317
Did she let you keep any of her teeth?
- No!

137
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:10,070
What the hell is wrong with you,
you psycho?

138
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,530
How did her teeth taste?
- No one wants to hear this, right, Andrew?

139
00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:13,490
Oh, sweet Jesse,

140
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:16,076
I'd love to pretend to be the guy
that's above all this,

141
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,578
but frankly, I'm not.
I need Nick to tell us everything.

142
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:20,914
I'm gonna need him to tell real good.
- Ew.

143
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,917
Well, let's just say that I got to second base.

144
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,586
Whoa! She put a finger in your ass?

145
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,880
What? No, that's not second base.

146
00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:31,091
What do you think third base is, Jay?

147
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,009
You don't want to know.
- I do! I want to know!

148
00:06:33,109 --> 00:06:34,386
Guys, please!

149
00:06:34,486 --> 00:06:37,722
Last night, I touched Gina's boob.

150
00:06:37,822 --> 00:06:39,224
What!
- Oh, my.

151
00:06:39,324 --> 00:06:40,725
Are you kidding?
- Oh, my God.

152
00:06:40,825 --> 00:06:41,726
That's even better!

153
00:06:41,826 --> 00:06:46,639
Nick, you're a pioneer.
You... You climbed Mount Everest.

154
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,358
Boys... I made it.

155
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:50,568
It's... It's beautiful up here.

156
00:06:50,668 --> 00:06:53,321
I wish you could see it. Over.
- [Andrew] You did it, Nick.

157
00:06:53,421 --> 00:06:56,741
You reached the highest peak
in our grade. Over.

158
00:06:56,841 --> 00:06:58,034
Thank you, Jay.

159
00:06:58,134 --> 00:06:59,577
Where's Andrew? Over.

160
00:06:59,677 --> 00:07:02,255
He didn't make it, Nick.

161
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,699
Over.

162
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,042
You know what, guys?

163
00:07:06,142 --> 00:07:08,420
I'm kinda tired of hearing
about Gina's boobs.

164
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,380
Jesse, it's not just her boobs.

165
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,674
She's funny and smart
and she knows who she is.

166
00:07:12,774 --> 00:07:14,175
Hold on.

167
00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:16,428
Wasn't that your thing, Jesse?

168
00:07:16,528 --> 00:07:18,054
Still is, hunch-o.

169
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:21,766
Yeah, and then she just comes along
and is like, 'LOL, big boobs.'

170
00:07:21,866 --> 00:07:22,684
Like, come on.

171
00:07:22,784 --> 00:07:26,020
It seems you've been replaced
with a better model,

172
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,274
not unlike how latex replaced ivory...

173
00:07:29,374 --> 00:07:32,268
...as the material of choice
in the dildo industry.

174
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:33,611
What is he talking about?

175
00:07:33,711 --> 00:07:37,282
Ignore him.
He's just trying to sell us Nazi dildos.

176
00:07:37,382 --> 00:07:40,243
Oh, no, I assure you, ladies,

177
00:07:40,343 --> 00:07:42,871
they are not for sale.

178
00:07:42,971 --> 00:07:46,291
Okay, everyone,
the lunar eclipse is at 11:08 tonight.

179
00:07:46,391 --> 00:07:48,501
In the meantime,
why don't you set up your sleeping bags?

180
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,837
All right, boys on this side,
girls on that side.

181
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,214
And of course, if you're a Transformer,

182
00:07:53,314 --> 00:07:55,300
you can sleep wherever you want.

183
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,678
Transformer? Come on,
are you not gonna call him out on that?

184
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,931
I want to but I'm doing this thing
where I'm trying to be nice,

185
00:08:02,031 --> 00:08:04,559
like the yellow M& M
in those commercials.

186
00:08:04,659 --> 00:08:06,811
Why?
- 'Cause the green one seems like a cunt.

187
00:08:06,911 --> 00:08:08,855
I'm sorry. I'm working on it.

188
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:12,567
[laughs] Jay, I am so pumped
for this sleepover!

189
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:15,897
Yeah, it's gonna be awesome!

190
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,148
[imitating fart]...

191
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,700
Fart noises.
- Oh, man.

192
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,327
I can't believe we did it right.

193
00:08:22,427 --> 00:08:23,912
What am I looking at here?

194
00:08:24,012 --> 00:08:26,039
It's a best friend hand shake, my dudes.

195
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,582
Wait, you and Coach Steve
are best friends?

196
00:08:27,682 --> 00:08:29,042
I mean--
- Coach Steve Steve?

197
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:32,170
That's my name! Please wear it out.

198
00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:35,548
Interesting.
Has Coach Steve, like, been to your house?

199
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:36,799
Well...
- Oh, yeah!

200
00:08:36,899 --> 00:08:39,135
'Cause Jay's house
is where Jay's mom lives.

201
00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:40,053
Wait, what?
- Oh, no.

202
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:43,765
And what did Coach Steve do
with your mother?

203
00:08:43,865 --> 00:08:47,143
Oh, yes. He made thick in her warm.

204
00:08:47,243 --> 00:08:48,686
Look, guys,

205
00:08:48,786 --> 00:08:51,523
I just help him scrape gum
from the bleachers sometimes.

206
00:08:51,623 --> 00:08:52,899
And you know what they say:

207
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,276
If it's under the bleacher,
give it to your teacher,

208
00:08:55,376 --> 00:08:57,237
'cause he'll chew anything.

209
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,030
[Andrew groans]
- [Shame Wizard laughing]...

210
00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:01,533
...[yawning] Good lordy, I'm already sleepy.

211
00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:04,235
I think there's enough action in here
to keep you going.

212
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:07,080
What?
- Did you see Andrew's athletic shorts?

213
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,916
Did anyone bring
an extra Breathe Right Strip?

214
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,793
Fingers crossed,
the sensitive skin kind?

215
00:09:11,893 --> 00:09:14,546
Holy maloley,
he can't hide anything in those.

216
00:09:14,646 --> 00:09:17,465
It's like a grocery bag full of fruit.
- Wow!

217
00:09:17,565 --> 00:09:18,550
And a penis.

218
00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:20,969
Wiggles, you better stop it,
you naughty little worm.

219
00:09:21,069 --> 00:09:23,972
Really makes your tummy glitter I bet.
- You forget yourself.

220
00:09:24,072 --> 00:09:25,473
You've gotta go in the bag.

221
00:09:25,573 --> 00:09:27,183
[moans, shivers]

222
00:09:27,283 --> 00:09:30,186
Yes, everybody's got their fun little secrets.

223
00:09:30,286 --> 00:09:31,854
Isn't that right, old timer?

224
00:09:31,954 --> 00:09:35,183
I'm not an old timer.
A lot of kids got arthritis.

225
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,442
[Lola] Hey, Andrew!

226
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,696
Just like 9-11, I'll never forget,

227
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,990
Osama bin Rubbin'.

228
00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:45,410
Boy, that was a walk
to get to Osama bin Rubbin', but it works.

229
00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:48,329
God, I'm afraid of her.
- Oh, you should be afraid!

230
00:09:48,429 --> 00:09:49,414
[evil laughter]

231
00:09:49,514 --> 00:09:52,750
I'm just gonna set up right here.
[chuckles]

232
00:09:52,850 --> 00:09:56,254
Don't worry. I'm not gonna,
like, gay you in your sleep or anything.

233
00:09:56,354 --> 00:09:57,922
Why wold you even say that?

234
00:09:58,022 --> 00:10:01,843
It is physically impossible to turn
another human being into a homosexual.

235
00:10:01,943 --> 00:10:03,970
Uh... I'm just joking.

236
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:09,517
Oh, Mattie, you've gone and made it weird.
[evil laughter]

237
00:10:09,617 --> 00:10:11,853
Hey, nice Carmen San Diego sleeping bag.

238
00:10:11,953 --> 00:10:14,814
Actually, it's a knock-off.
- Oh, Miranda San Francisco.

239
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,899
My mom bought it at the 99 cent store...

240
00:10:16,999 --> 00:10:19,068
...that also sells milk.
- Whoo!

241
00:10:19,168 --> 00:10:20,570
I know, it's super fancy.
- Yeah.

242
00:10:20,670 --> 00:10:23,031
I can't believe we get to sleep next to her!

243
00:10:23,131 --> 00:10:26,534
What if it happens again?
What if it's under the bra this time?

244
00:10:26,634 --> 00:10:28,953
Dude, you need to calm down.
- But how can I?

245
00:10:29,053 --> 00:10:30,246
I know. How can I?

246
00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:34,250
[Gina] It turns out, Miranda San Fransisco
actually lives in Sacramento.

247
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:37,662
That's why no one can find her,
'cause nobody wants to go there.

248
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,297
That's one of the best jokes
of the school year.

249
00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:41,215
Sacramento can eat its own ass.

250
00:10:41,315 --> 00:10:44,886
[groans] Gina can't be that funny, right?
- She sucks!

251
00:10:44,986 --> 00:10:46,512
That's how funny you get with no boobs.

252
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:50,016
She's making me feel crazy,
like a dirty cat.

253
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,934
[meows]...

254
00:10:52,034 --> 00:10:55,063
...[scoffs] Her hair is, like,
not even that shiny.

255
00:10:55,163 --> 00:10:58,316
I know, it's, like, just regular.

256
00:10:58,416 --> 00:11:00,026
I don't even get why Nick likes her.

257
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,278
[scoffs] Probably 'cause she let him
touch her boob.

258
00:11:02,378 --> 00:11:04,155
Um... What?

259
00:11:04,255 --> 00:11:05,490
Oh, nothing.

260
00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:07,575
I can't believe Gina let him do that.

261
00:11:07,675 --> 00:11:10,244
Well, wait.
Haven't you let DeVon does your boobs?

262
00:11:10,344 --> 00:11:12,830
Yeah, but after like 20 make-outs.

263
00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:14,582
There are rules.
- Who makes the rules?

264
00:11:14,682 --> 00:11:17,043
The prettiest girls in each grade.
- Oh, right.

265
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,504
And now guys are just
going to expect it right away...

266
00:11:19,604 --> 00:11:22,048
...and all because of that slut, Gina.

267
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:22,965
[Shame Wizard] Ah!

268
00:11:23,065 --> 00:11:26,469
The 'S' word.
I thought you were a feminist,

269
00:11:26,569 --> 00:11:29,222
and now you're an accessory
to slut shaming.

270
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,891
I didn't mean to say anything.
It was an accident.

271
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:33,184
Was it, though?

272
00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:36,145
Hey, Devin, you're not gonna tell
anyone what I said, right?

273
00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:39,816
Oh my God. Nick felt up Gina?

274
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:41,984
Oh. Was I not supposed to tell?

275
00:11:42,084 --> 00:11:44,112
No, it's important that people know.

276
00:11:44,212 --> 00:11:47,740
It's not like she, like, rubbed fronts
like a good girl.

277
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,835
What... a... slut.

278
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,342
WHAT A SLUT

279
00:12:06,442 --> 00:12:08,803
Whoa! Bro, you touched Gina's boobs?

280
00:12:08,903 --> 00:12:10,680
I never even got close to her girdle.

281
00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:12,724
Respect.
- What? Girdle? How did you...

282
00:12:12,824 --> 00:12:13,808
...[cell phone beeping]

283
00:12:13,908 --> 00:12:15,017
Oh, shit.

284
00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:17,645
No, this is what we want.
You're the winner!

285
00:12:17,745 --> 00:12:21,232
You're Lil Mr. Boobie Boy!
Here, try that on.

286
00:12:21,332 --> 00:12:23,151
Oh! You look incredible.

287
00:12:23,251 --> 00:12:25,194
No, I'm not wearing this.
- You don't like it?

288
00:12:25,294 --> 00:12:27,447
Hey, Nick, what did they feel like?

289
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,282
Guys, I don't know if I should say.

290
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,867
Although if he did say,

291
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:33,703
he'd seem like a real Big Dick Boy,
wouldn't he?

292
00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:35,538
Go tell them. Nick, tell them!

293
00:12:35,638 --> 00:12:37,331
You know you want to.

294
00:12:37,431 --> 00:12:39,375
Since you guys seem pretty cool,

295
00:12:39,475 --> 00:12:42,044
I will say they felt like...

296
00:12:42,144 --> 00:12:46,549
...the world's most perfect water balloons.
- Whoa!

297
00:12:46,649 --> 00:12:48,801
But here's what I wasn't expecting, boys.

298
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:51,012
They were warm to the touch.

299
00:12:51,112 --> 00:12:53,139
Thank you for the boner.

300
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:54,515
So, Nick, did you spread 'em?

301
00:12:54,615 --> 00:12:56,225
Maybe. What do you mean?

302
00:12:56,325 --> 00:12:58,144
Did you go like this and spread them?

303
00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:01,355
You're supposed to try to get them
as far away from each other as possible.

304
00:13:01,455 --> 00:13:04,150
Sorry. I'm pretty sure you don't spread 'em.

305
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,277
How would you know?
- Yeah, Matthew.

306
00:13:06,377 --> 00:13:07,487
Uh, never mind.

307
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:13,534
There's nothing sadder than the lonely
gay kid trying to be one of the boys.

308
00:13:13,634 --> 00:13:15,578
[evil laughter]

309
00:13:15,678 --> 00:13:18,228
What an evening to be alive!

310
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:19,957
Oh, no.
- What's wrong?

311
00:13:20,057 --> 00:13:22,418
I have to show you something,
but you can't be upset.

312
00:13:22,518 --> 00:13:23,336
Okay.

313
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,504
HI, I'M A SLUT

314
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:25,546
What the...

315
00:13:25,646 --> 00:13:27,840
...[boy 1] Gina Alvarez...
- [girl 1] She let him what?

316
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,842
Nick touched her boob.
- We are gossiping.

317
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:30,760
SLUT...

318
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:34,222
...[Shame Wizard] Everybody knows.
You never should have done it.

319
00:13:34,322 --> 00:13:37,133
You're a slut.

320
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,227
[boy 2] She's a slut.

321
00:13:39,327 --> 00:13:42,012
[softly] I want to talk like this, too.

322
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,440
Hey, where's my sleeping bag?

323
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:45,900
Sleep under the bleachers,

324
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,152
You Mike and Ike-eating bitch!

325
00:13:48,252 --> 00:13:49,904
My bag! Wait, Mike and Ikes?

326
00:13:50,004 --> 00:13:51,989
I've never once even those.
I can't even picture them.

327
00:13:52,089 --> 00:13:55,993
You wish,
you movie theater candy-eating nobody!

328
00:13:56,093 --> 00:13:58,496
Are they one-- Is it a bar or is it little bits?

329
00:13:58,596 --> 00:14:01,332
Um, what's that duct tape trash bag
next to your stuff?

330
00:14:01,432 --> 00:14:05,503
Oh, that's my sleeping bag.
It doubles as a car window, so...

331
00:14:05,603 --> 00:14:08,005
Coach Steve and Jay are now best friends.

332
00:14:08,105 --> 00:14:09,924
I fuck my pillow. Let's talk about that.

333
00:14:10,024 --> 00:14:12,426
Hmm, we all already know
how you fuck pillows.

334
00:14:12,526 --> 00:14:14,595
This is a new and somehow sadder thing.

335
00:14:14,695 --> 00:14:16,639
We are not friends! [screams]

336
00:14:16,739 --> 00:14:18,683
That's right, we are best friends.

337
00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:21,352
No, we're not!
- Jay, are you mad at me?

338
00:14:21,452 --> 00:14:22,353
Just go away.

339
00:14:22,453 --> 00:14:25,439
Is it because I made thick
in your mom's warm?

340
00:14:25,539 --> 00:14:27,358
Steve!
- Whoa mama!

341
00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:29,026
Jay's mama.
- Wait a second.

342
00:14:29,126 --> 00:14:32,822
Your mom is the woman that Coach Steve
lost his virginity to?

343
00:14:32,922 --> 00:14:34,991
It was her warm?

344
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:38,286
[laughs] I bet that man baby
has a big old horse cock.

345
00:14:38,386 --> 00:14:40,872
The dumb ones pound the hardest.

346
00:14:40,972 --> 00:14:44,584
Jay, let's not forget that you were so lonely,

347
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:49,005
you offered your mother's body
in exchange for friendship...

348
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:51,173
...with this beef-cocked drooler.

349
00:14:51,273 --> 00:14:53,509
Oh, my God, I hate you!
You're such an idiot!

350
00:14:53,609 --> 00:14:56,804
Well, if you hate me then I hate me too,
'cause we're best friends.

351
00:14:56,904 --> 00:14:59,924
I love you, my dude.

352
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:00,850
[imitating fart]

353
00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:03,895
Shit! I can't not do the shake.
It's such a good handshake.

354
00:15:03,995 --> 00:15:07,064
All right, everyone.
If you can look up at the sky,

355
00:15:07,164 --> 00:15:09,150
there are many constellations
visible tonight.

356
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,736
And also, as a teacher who wants to speak,

357
00:15:11,836 --> 00:15:14,864
I will say the stars are just like us.

358
00:15:14,964 --> 00:15:16,616
I heard that from the gas pump TV,

359
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:19,827
but don't drink the gas, kids,
'cause it's expensive.

360
00:15:19,927 --> 00:15:21,621
Okay, and also other reasons.

361
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,998
Yeah, 'cause it tastes like a car.

362
00:15:24,098 --> 00:15:27,585
Matthew, we have to gossip
about this Gina sitch.

363
00:15:27,685 --> 00:15:30,755
Pass.
- Relax, queen. It's just girl talk.

364
00:15:30,855 --> 00:15:31,964
Well, I'm not a girl.

365
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:34,050
Right, but you're not like a boy.

366
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,176
Jeez.

367
00:15:35,276 --> 00:15:39,055
You don't fit in anywhere, do you?
- Well, that's fine.

368
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,264
I don't wanna fit in.

369
00:15:40,364 --> 00:15:42,725
You know how I can tell when you're lying?

370
00:15:42,825 --> 00:15:45,436
You look fat.
- Oh boy, you're good.

371
00:15:45,536 --> 00:15:47,388
[yawning]

372
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:50,399
Dude, how are you falling asleep?
It's only, like, 9:45.

373
00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:51,984
Yeah, that's late for me.

374
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,320
Once Lester Holt is done with the news,

375
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:55,655
I'm done with my day.

376
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:56,906
You watch network news?

377
00:15:57,006 --> 00:16:00,201
When the internet gets it right
for 50 years, I'll turn to them.

378
00:16:00,301 --> 00:16:03,079
Well, why don't you just go in
and take a quick nap?

379
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:05,998
The eclipse isn't for another hour.
- Oh, that's a fine idea.

380
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,917
I don't think
Coach Steve will notice anyway.

381
00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:10,628
Now, if you all take out your telescopes,
- Steve...

382
00:16:10,728 --> 00:16:13,547
You'll notice
there's a little bit of sand in here.

383
00:16:13,647 --> 00:16:15,591
[softly] That's a wiffle ball bat,
not a telescope.

384
00:16:15,691 --> 00:16:16,884
Whoa, stop the clock.

385
00:16:16,984 --> 00:16:20,262
If this is a wiffle ball bat,
then what are my sneakers?

386
00:16:20,362 --> 00:16:22,598
They're French bread pizzas?

387
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:26,010
Is that why my toes are so gooey?

388
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,229
Missy! I'm so glad you're back.

389
00:16:28,329 --> 00:16:29,563
Slide in next to me.

390
00:16:29,663 --> 00:16:32,224
Yeah, but I'm just here
for a quick power nap.

391
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,809
[sighs]...

392
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,403
What's wrong?
- Now I can't sleep.

393
00:16:35,503 --> 00:16:37,571
A worm dance always helps you sleep.

394
00:16:37,671 --> 00:16:40,533
I think we're only supposed to do that
in my bedroom.

395
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,076
Oh, yeah. Totally.

396
00:16:42,176 --> 00:16:45,079
Is it cool if I just kind of back it up?

397
00:16:45,179 --> 00:16:47,289
Oh, well...
- It's just so chilly in here...

398
00:16:47,389 --> 00:16:48,416
...and you're so warm.

399
00:16:48,516 --> 00:16:50,918
Well, you're pretty warm, too.

400
00:16:51,018 --> 00:16:54,130
You feel really, really warm.
- [moaning]

401
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,339
Yeah.

402
00:16:55,439 --> 00:16:58,342
The group of stars right above us
is called the Sculptor.

403
00:16:58,442 --> 00:17:01,512
Many believe the Sculptor represents
Pygmalion from Greek mythology.

404
00:17:01,612 --> 00:17:05,174
That's the history of Greek yogurt
starring John Stamos.

405
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,101
No, it isn't. As the story goes,

406
00:17:07,201 --> 00:17:09,687
Pygmalion sculpted a statue
made of ivory...

407
00:17:09,787 --> 00:17:11,647
...[Steve] And ebony.
- ...and fell in love with it.

408
00:17:11,747 --> 00:17:14,975
What?
- [woman] He named it Galatea.

409
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:18,354
Everyone is talking about you, Gina.

410
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,481
[indistinct whispering]

411
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,274
She's such a slut.

412
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,701
What did you just say?

413
00:17:23,801 --> 00:17:27,955
I said you're a slut.

414
00:17:28,055 --> 00:17:30,041
[grunts, groans]

415
00:17:30,141 --> 00:17:33,077
Fight!

416
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,588
Andrew! You're missing a cat fight.
- Girls, stop it!

417
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:38,966
Don't worry. I'll take care of this.
- No, Steve!

418
00:17:39,066 --> 00:17:41,677
Oh no! I meant to hit the kids!

419
00:17:41,777 --> 00:17:43,846
Look what you've done!

420
00:17:43,946 --> 00:17:45,973
Turned girl against girl.

421
00:17:46,073 --> 00:17:48,934
Oh, no! We're a part of the patriarchy.

422
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:50,394
Hey, girls! Come on!

423
00:17:50,494 --> 00:17:52,063
Get off me, slut!

424
00:17:52,163 --> 00:17:54,713
[panting]...

425
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,643
...[crying]...

426
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,528
...[grunts] What happened?

427
00:17:59,628 --> 00:18:01,405
I think Lola might have
given you a concussion.

428
00:18:01,505 --> 00:18:02,990
How many penises am I holding up?

429
00:18:03,090 --> 00:18:05,242
Well, two, but one of them is very--

430
00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:08,370
Shh! He doesn't know he's different.
I tell him he's special.

431
00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:09,455
Hmm.

432
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:12,708
[Nick] You know who we've all completely
overlooked as a romantic partner?

433
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:14,585
Missy Foreman-Greenwald.
- Huh?

434
00:18:14,685 --> 00:18:16,170
[Andrew] I didn't overlook her.

435
00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:20,049
She was mine for a time, but alas,
our passion, it ran too hot.

436
00:18:20,149 --> 00:18:22,927
Who could blame you?
Everything about her is amazing.

437
00:18:23,027 --> 00:18:27,264
Her face, her leadership skills,
her emotional intelligence.

438
00:18:27,364 --> 00:18:29,975
I like how we're both in jazz club together.

439
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:32,561
Woo-hoo! And she got a body.

440
00:18:32,661 --> 00:18:34,063
[moaning[...

441
00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:35,564
...[Lola] Oh my God!

442
00:18:35,664 --> 00:18:38,234
Missy's, like, jerking off.
- [gasps]

443
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:41,070
She's such a horny spazz, you guys.

444
00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:42,822
[all laughing]

445
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,824
Oh, no!

446
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:48,327
Man, did you see her
squirming on that worm? [purrs]

447
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:50,079
Oh, you know it, brother.

448
00:18:50,179 --> 00:18:51,455
I'm sorry...

449
00:18:51,555 --> 00:18:54,917
...did you find this girl's humiliation erotic?

450
00:18:55,017 --> 00:18:59,713
No, I just liked seeing her masturbate
without her knowing that I was watching.

451
00:18:59,813 --> 00:19:01,799
Oi-va-voy, when you say it out loud...

452
00:19:01,899 --> 00:19:05,553
Even your Hormone Monster
thinks you've gone too far.

453
00:19:05,653 --> 00:19:09,431
Do you even care about Missy?
- Of course I care.

454
00:19:09,531 --> 00:19:11,725
[Andrew] I just liked
seeing her masturbate...

455
00:19:11,825 --> 00:19:13,894
...without her knowing that I was watching.

456
00:19:13,994 --> 00:19:15,646
Oh, that's bad.
- Yeah, indeed.

457
00:19:15,746 --> 00:19:17,398
God, what is wrong with me?

458
00:19:17,498 --> 00:19:21,610
[Shame Wizard singing on tape]
♪ Take on me ♪...

459
00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:23,946
...♪ Take me... ♪...

460
00:19:24,046 --> 00:19:26,648
What was that?
- Nothing. It was nothing.

461
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,117
Unless you liked it.

462
00:19:28,217 --> 00:19:29,735
[Gina crying]

463
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,246
Hey, I'm sorry they're all being such dicks.

464
00:19:32,346 --> 00:19:33,998
Them? What about you?
- What do you mean?

465
00:19:34,098 --> 00:19:37,459
What do I mean? You told everyone!
That was our private moment.

466
00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:40,129
I was excited about it.
Everyone's happy for us.

467
00:19:40,229 --> 00:19:42,464
No, everyone's happy for you,
because you're a guy.

468
00:19:42,564 --> 00:19:45,718
You're like Mr. Big-Shot.
But what am I to everyone? [sighs]...

469
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,803
A slut!
- Who cares what they think?

470
00:19:47,903 --> 00:19:50,931
I mean, yes, maybe some people
are calling me Mr. Big-Shot,

471
00:19:51,031 --> 00:19:52,683
but hey, I'm still just Nick.

472
00:19:52,783 --> 00:19:53,642
Wow!
- What?

473
00:19:53,742 --> 00:19:55,603
You are unbelievable!

474
00:19:55,703 --> 00:19:57,813
In a good way or--
- No! Not in a good way!

475
00:19:57,913 --> 00:19:58,856
Gina...

476
00:19:58,956 --> 00:20:01,150
Oh! You're never gonna get
to touch her boobies again.

477
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:03,402
It's all your fault.
You made me tell everyone.

478
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:05,938
I'm sorry!

479
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,325
Stop faking it.
- I'm not faking it.

480
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:11,577
Don't be mad at me!

481
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:13,204
Do this to Gina. This works.

482
00:20:13,304 --> 00:20:15,697
No, it doesn't work.
- It doesn't? !

483
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:19,376
Oh Wiggles,  I'm so sorry
I put you in the middle of this.

484
00:20:19,476 --> 00:20:20,828
Can you forgive me?

485
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,922
Wiggles? Wiggles?

486
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:26,842
Oh! He's not going to answer you anymore.

487
00:20:26,942 --> 00:20:28,344
He's not?
- No.

488
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:29,803
You killed him.
- What?

489
00:20:29,903 --> 00:20:31,222
Poor Wiggles...
- Wiggles?

490
00:20:31,322 --> 00:20:35,142
Humped to death
by a filthy little masturbator.

491
00:20:35,242 --> 00:20:38,771
No! I thought I w...
I thought I was just worm dancing.

492
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,732
Ah-ah-ah. That's not true, is it?

493
00:20:41,832 --> 00:20:46,186
You knew all along.

494
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:49,240
Oh, Missy! Someone's having fun.

495
00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:50,866
It tickles my vagina.

496
00:20:50,966 --> 00:20:52,493
Oh, I bet it does.

497
00:20:52,593 --> 00:20:55,913
But let's just keep your worm dances
in your room, okay?

498
00:20:56,013 --> 00:20:59,833
Those are special
between you and him, or her.

499
00:20:59,933 --> 00:21:01,660
It's a him.

500
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,796
I did know. I've known all along.

501
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:07,299
Well, I hope it was worth it
to you and your vagina.

502
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:08,750
[exhales]

503
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,762
Hey, I heard what happened
with Coach Steve.

504
00:21:11,862 --> 00:21:13,639
Thick in the warm, huh? [scoffs]...

505
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:15,224
Yikes.
- Fuck you, Matthew!

506
00:21:15,324 --> 00:21:17,017
Whoa! I was just going to say...

507
00:21:17,117 --> 00:21:20,229
...if you don't want
to sleep on the floor like a vagrant,

508
00:21:20,329 --> 00:21:23,315
you can always crash
in the Teachers' Lounge with me.

509
00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:27,569
Oh. Looks like the gay boy thinks
he's found another gay boy.

510
00:21:27,669 --> 00:21:30,072
There's so much to unpack with you.

511
00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:31,448
Uh... nice try, Matthew,

512
00:21:31,548 --> 00:21:34,243
but I'm not gonna let you park
your dick inside my dick.

513
00:21:34,343 --> 00:21:38,998
See? Even this stray dog
doesn't want your scraps of friendship.

514
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,416
Just accept who you are:

515
00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:42,918
[whispers] A vicious little queen.

516
00:21:43,018 --> 00:21:45,296
You think I want to hook up with you,

517
00:21:45,396 --> 00:21:47,923
you walking Porta-Potty?
- What?

518
00:21:48,023 --> 00:21:50,592
Sleep in hell!
- Joke's on you, Matthew!

519
00:21:50,692 --> 00:21:52,669
I do sleep in hell!

520
00:21:52,769 --> 00:21:55,806
So... is Gina mad?
- She's not psyched.

521
00:21:55,906 --> 00:21:57,182
I'm gonna kill Jay.
- Why?

522
00:21:57,282 --> 00:21:59,518
Because he told everyone.
- Oh yeah, of course.

523
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:03,564
Andrew's too scared to say anything,
and you'd never, like, slut shame a girl.

524
00:22:03,664 --> 00:22:05,232
Right, no. I wouldn't. Totally.

525
00:22:05,332 --> 00:22:07,359
You know how I can tell when you're lying?

526
00:22:07,459 --> 00:22:09,945
You look like Mitch McConnell.

527
00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:11,071
Shit.

528
00:22:11,171 --> 00:22:13,157
[evil laughter]
- [sighs]

529
00:22:13,257 --> 00:22:15,534
Nick, it wasn't Jay. It was me.

530
00:22:15,634 --> 00:22:17,745
What? So this is all your fault?

531
00:22:17,845 --> 00:22:21,498
Dude, you are the one who told us
about your stupid tit grab to begin with.

532
00:22:21,598 --> 00:22:23,584
Because you're my friends.
- Oh, please!

533
00:22:23,684 --> 00:22:26,211
You just wanted to brag
and feel like a big dick boy.

534
00:22:26,311 --> 00:22:29,006
Yes, because you're a one-pubed wonder.

535
00:22:29,106 --> 00:22:31,091
Well, you only gossip
because you're jealous of Gina.

536
00:22:31,191 --> 00:22:35,095
Yes! Because she's not a flat-chested
thieving little drug addict.

537
00:22:35,195 --> 00:22:36,180
Jesus.

538
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,935
You know what? Fuck this.

539
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:43,228
You told your friends
all about your sexual conquest...

540
00:22:43,328 --> 00:22:45,731
...because you wanted to feel like a man,
didn't you?

541
00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:46,857
Yeah, I guess I did.

542
00:22:46,957 --> 00:22:49,151
You pretend to support other women,

543
00:22:49,251 --> 00:22:52,154
but as soon as a girl threatened you,
you threw her under the bus!

544
00:22:52,254 --> 00:22:53,614
Yeah, I guess I did.

545
00:22:53,714 --> 00:22:55,699
Because you're a little dick boy...

546
00:22:55,799 --> 00:22:58,744
And you're a traitor to your gender!

547
00:22:58,844 --> 00:23:01,663
Why are you so mean?
- [laughs]

548
00:23:01,763 --> 00:23:02,948
Well...

549
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:06,377
...♪ Tell me how do you think
Humankind would look ♪...

550
00:23:06,477 --> 00:23:09,380
...♪ Unrepentant of their
every lurid sin ♪...

551
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,632
...♪ Running carefree as you please ♪...

552
00:23:11,732 --> 00:23:13,425
...♪ Tits and willies to the breeze ♪...

553
00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:16,378
...♪ Indulging every hedonistic whim ♪...

554
00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:18,639
...♪ Would you be
happier? Maybe yes ♪...

555
00:23:18,739 --> 00:23:20,057
...♪ But heavens what a mess ♪...

556
00:23:20,157 --> 00:23:23,394
...♪ As you lie, cheat,
scam and screw ♪...

557
00:23:23,494 --> 00:23:25,396
...♪ That's why I'm here
To steer you right ♪...

558
00:23:25,496 --> 00:23:27,231
...♪ And to shine a naked light ♪...

559
00:23:27,331 --> 00:23:29,733
...♪ On all the horrid things you do ♪...

560
00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:33,687
...♪ And fill you with shame ♪...

561
00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:37,324
...♪ Making life just a little bit lame ♪...

562
00:23:37,424 --> 00:23:41,328
...♪ A healthy dose of
sweet self loathing ♪...

563
00:23:41,428 --> 00:23:44,364
...♪ Shame ♪...

564
00:23:44,464 --> 00:23:47,584
...♪ This one is embarrassed
That his balls have yet to drop ♪...

565
00:23:47,684 --> 00:23:51,330
...♪ And this one is a
skeevy little perv ♪...

566
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,798
...♪ This one's going batty ♪...

567
00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:54,508
...♪ 'Cause she split
up mom and daddy ♪...

568
00:23:54,608 --> 00:23:57,428
...♪ And it's a punishment
She's certain she deserves ♪...

569
00:23:57,528 --> 00:23:59,680
...♪ Let's see, this one's a bed-wetter ♪...

570
00:23:59,780 --> 00:24:01,515
...♪ And that one's a dry humper ♪...

571
00:24:01,615 --> 00:24:04,509
...♪ And this one is a
lonely little queer ♪...

572
00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:06,311
...♪ Oh, I hate to be a bummer ♪...

573
00:24:06,411 --> 00:24:08,230
...♪ But, my dear, I've
got your number ♪...

574
00:24:08,330 --> 00:24:11,024
...♪ And I'll whisper it
forever In your ear ♪...

575
00:24:11,124 --> 00:24:14,736
...♪ Bringing the shame Shame ♪...

576
00:24:14,836 --> 00:24:18,648
...♪ You've got no one
But yourself to blame ♪...

577
00:24:18,748 --> 00:24:21,410
...♪ You thought no
one was watching ♪...

578
00:24:21,510 --> 00:24:25,456
...♪ But I'm right here in your brain ♪...

579
00:24:25,556 --> 00:24:28,784
...♪ So if you start to burn too hot ♪...

580
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,920
...♪ I'll douse your filthy flame ♪...

581
00:24:32,020 --> 00:24:35,174
...♪ Yeah, I'll come rushing in ♪...

582
00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:38,960
...♪ Like a harsh judgmental friend ♪...

583
00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:41,638
...♪ To twist you from within ♪...

584
00:24:41,738 --> 00:24:46,435
...♪ With glorious shame ♪

585
00:24:46,535 --> 00:24:48,770
All right, everybody back inside.

586
00:24:48,870 --> 00:24:52,441
No more songs from floating grandpas
about what's happening.

587
00:24:52,541 --> 00:24:55,277
I'm not a floating grandpa.

588
00:24:55,377 --> 00:24:58,012
I'm the Shame Wizard.

589
00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,573
Oh, okay.

590
00:24:59,673 --> 00:25:01,533
TO BE CONTINUED...

591
00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:06,330
Why don't you continue it right now,
you lazy piece of shite!

592
00:25:06,430 --> 00:25:11,615
[evil laughter]