[theme music playing]
[birds chirping]
[wind whistling]
[Sypha] So, what's next?
[Trevor] Don't know. Hmm.
I mean...
I suppose we could take a break.
We could.
After finding the night creatures
terrorizing the villages down the road from here.
Mmm, and the fat thing
living at the bottom of the last village's well.
And the creek toad monster hunting humans by the river ford.
And the night creatures on the flying goats.
Flying goats. Now, that was...
[Trevor] Disturbing.
Yes. Disturbing.
They shat on a farm, Sypha. And their shit was on fire.
[Sypha] Yes. That was terrible.
Burning devil goat turds... from the sky.
You weren't gonna say "disturbing," were you?
You were going to say...
- Fun. [laughing] - Fun! Yes!
[both laughing]
Oh, my god, so much fun!
Ah, you've gone insane.
Really. The most fun I've ever had in my life.
This has been amazing.
[chuckles] And now?
Well, this is nice,
I suppose.
You're bored.
Sleeping in a bed was nice.
I mean, I'm not complaining or anything.
The bed was actually pretty good.
I'm used to sleeping under trees.
Sleeping in the wagon is nice, too.
Better than sleeping under trees.
See? So we should get in the wagon and roll on out of here.
What?
Hmm? Roll on out of here?
That's what we do. Belnades and Belmont.
We roll out and hit the road and fight nasty hovering death goats
that open their flaming bowels upon the innocent.
Belmont and Belnades.
Belnades and her dancing bear.
I never liked goats. Horrible eyes.
Do you know that some people have sex with them?
So I've heard.
Shall we buy some food for the road?
- Really? - Yeah.
Because we're having fun, right?
I admit it. I do. You and me.
We're doing good things, and it's been pretty far from boring.
But, also...
Lindenfeld is starting to give me the creeps.
Do you think they really worship Dracula?
[Judge] They do.
Would you both please accompany me?
For tea?
Uh, I like tea.
I... don't.
All right.
Who exactly are you?
I am Sypha Belnades, a magician of the Speakers.
This is Trevor Belmont, of House Belmont, fighter of demons.
You could have told me that yesterday.
Your local monks made me think that perhaps
our names shouldn't be said out loud.
Since they apparently love Dracula,
and, well, we...
We killed him.
[scoffs] Really? How interesting.
- [flame whooshes, crackling] - Really.
Oh.
Oh! You're a Speaker magician.
And you're really the last Belmont?
In the flesh. What do you want?
Well, now I want to know how you're even alive.
But, what I need to know is what's going on in the priory.
I run the town, but my power stops at the priory's door.
The place is apparently full of lunatics. What do you need to know?
Lindenfeld was hit by a pack of night creatures.
- [thunder crashing] - [wind whooshing]
[church bells tolling]
[footsteps]
[lighter foosteps]
[creature growling]
[people screaming]
- [creature squealing] - [flesh tearing]
[creature growling]
[flesh tearing]
[growling]
[yells]
- [flesh tearing] - [man screaming]
[roaring]
[Judge] But I pride myself
on a carefully organized town.
My men-at-arms wiped their weapons in salt and shit.
[Trevor] Salt on the blades. Very good.
Shit to make the wounds sick. That's old army tactics.
[Judge] Lindenfeld has always defended itself.
There are reasons why this is more than a wide spot in the road, Belmont.
[tearing flesh]
[creature screaming]
- [metal slicing] - [roaring]
- [metal slicing] - [screeching]
[creatures screeching]
[people screaming]
[Judge] And then...
...it was quiet for so long.
I couldn't imagine even a single monster
could have killed everyone inside so quickly.
- It wasn't killing them. - [creature growling]
[creature speaking alien language]
[Judge] It was talking to them.
[creature continues speaking alien language]
[thunder crashing]
And the rain stopped.
A while later, the monks came out with blackened pieces of the creature.
I couldn't tell you if the pieces added up to the entire beast.
They couldn't stop crying. Not one of them.
They just looked, well, broken.
None of them could speak a word.
They just dropped the remains on the street and went back inside.
The next day, it began.
The people of the town wanted to give thanks for God's mercy,
and Sala wouldn't allow them into the priory's hall.
A few days later, the first stranger arrived looking for the priory.
A priest, covered in blood.
Couldn't stop shaking.
Pissed himself in the market square.
Dagger in his hand.
The monks took him in.
It's been happening every few days, ever since.
I need to know what happened.
I need to know why the priory in my town
is attracting damaged, frightening people.
I have a community to look after here. I need to know what's going to happen.
When you arrived last night,
I took you for adventurers
who might take a chance for a fair payment.
[sing-songy] Adventurers.
But you are a Speaker, and you are a Belmont.
You are heroes to this country and its people.
I believe you will help me because these are dangerous times
and it is the right thing to do.
And because... I think this is what you like.
We're not heroes, Judge.
Well, I'm not. She is.
But she's insane, as you may have noticed.
I have. That's why I said I think you like this.
Also, I don't normally flatter people
because it's so much easier to have them flogged in the square
until they do as I damn well tell them.
But the monks are armed.
Their forces now match my men-at-arms.
All of the town, and their capabilities, are known to the prior.
You have the advantage of anonymity.
I'm not looking at you, Sypha.
You're going to.
Nope.
You like looking at me.
I'm not going to.
Because if you do,
you'll crack like an egg.
[squeaks] Yes.
[hinge squeaks]
[sighs]
Well, at least he offered to pay our rent while we're here.
Ha ha! Investigators!
[chuckling] Oop!
[ship creaking]
[Captain] I have brandy. You know brandy?
Fire and wine. Do you partake of alcohol?
I do not.
Ah, thought so. Muslim?
Sufi.
The spinning-around kind or the self-flagellating kind?
The latter. Or, I was.
Well, I imagine it hurts. You can't be blamed for stopping.
It's not pain as you understand it.
I've been hit by people. It's not the same thing, at all.
It brings clarity.
It stills the body and frees the mind to focus.
So why did you stop?
I don't know.
I'm too angry. I cannot find myself.
I cannot pray. I cannot see God.
[slurps]
[Captain] Tell me the story, Isaac.
The night is long, and sailors like stories.
I was a member of Dracula's court.
Dracula? [slurps]
[gulps, sighs]
[chuckles] Oh, this should be good.
Dracula the Vampire King?
Dracula, who wants to kill everyone in Wallachia?
Everyone in the world. All the humans.
Including you?
I assumed that eventually this would include me, yes.
So working for Dracula was like suicide, the long way round?
Perhaps.
I find the human race worthless,
and I suspect a fresh start would be good for the world.
Present company excepted, of course?
[both chuckle]
So, you were planning on killin' everyone in the world.
I knew you wouldn't be boring.
I cannot, however, fail to note that I am still here.
And you're not in Wallachia. What happened?
[sighs]
[slurps]
His castle was attacked.
Dracula threw me to the desert through a magic mirror.
To save my life.
That doesn't sound like someone who wants to kill all the people of the Earth.
He was confused. He was grieving.
There were other vampires conspiring against him.
And they were aided by the other human in the court.
He was certainly confused. And also betrayed.
You just can't get the staff any more. Believe me, I know.
You should talk to some of the freaks I have on my crew.
And now you're sailing back to Europe to find Dracula?
I believe he is dead.
I have other reasons to return.
I was given this by a man in Tunis.
- [claps] - [glass tinkling]
[Isaac] It showed me
that the other human in the court is being kept prisoner
by one of the vampires who schemed against Dracula.
That's a nice gift, though.
The man who gave it to me said
it was in exchange for saving him from Hell when he died.
After which, the men-at-arms of Tunis attempted to drive us out,
because they were full of hatred and fear, like all people.
Did he laugh when he said it?
He did, actually.
Then it was a gift.
I mean, can you save people from Hell?
I am a forgemaster.
I can take demons from Hell, and install them in dead bodies on Earth.
[Captain] That's quite a trick.
It is a skill, learned over many years.
Vampires cannot do it. It requires a human connection.
Why? Vampires can learn magic.
- [fire whooshes] - [Isaac] Not this magic.
Hell is populated by humans who went against the will of God.
But the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him,
says that one day Hell will be emptied
and its doors will rattle in the wind.
Through my hand, God lifts the damned from Hell in his mercy
to enact their penance on the Earth as my soldiers.
That's...
[slurps]
[exhales]
I thought I'd heard every story, but that's new to me.
And you learned how to do this.
I did.
[Captain] And other things, too, I'll mark.
I have some other skills.
And now you sail to Europe,
to exact revenge on the people who betrayed your Dracula?
[Isaac] I do.
Where will you go?
Styria, home to Carmilla, who rules that region.
And then what?
What?
Well, after you've had your blood. What will you do then?
Take up your Dracula's cause and kill all the people in the world?
I might.
Hmm.
Have you ever heard this maxim?
"If you don't have your own story, you become part of someone else's."
I have not.
That's because I invented it. You're welcome.
[chuckles]
You saw that I have a knife, right?
Hear me out.
Why live out a dead vampire's story when you have your own story to tell?
Dracula's "story," as you put it, is right and good.
The human race is poisonous and corrupt
and should be wiped off the world.
And yet yesterday, a man gave you a gift and made a joke.
But all you really remember
is the port authority trying to run you and your beasties out of town.
Do you deny our species is cruel, Captain?
[slurping]
[sighs] No.
I've been cruel.
It's a cruel world.
Maybe we do all deserve to die.
But maybe we could be better, too.
If you kill us all, you end human cruelty, yes.
But you end human kindness, too.
No more jokes. No more gifts. No more surprises.
Why would a man with all your fantastic knowledge
not use it to teach people how to be kind?
What?
Revenge is good. Bastards need punishing.
But after you win, and you control their region,
you become a ruler of a place, Isaac.
I do not.
You do. By right of conquest.
You could lead, Isaac. Just like you lead your beasties up there.
What could your rule be like if you just taught people?
I would like more water.
Then you shall have it, Isaac the Forgemaster.
My gift, given freely.
[pouring water]
[wind howling]
[footsteps echoing]
[door opening]
I need a chair.
I also need you to leave
before I decide to kill you for keeping our guest in such a manner.
Run.
[door closing]
Was that for my benefit?
What?
Telling the guard off for doing his job.
So that I'll think you're sympathetic. So that I'll like you.
[scoffs] Why would you think such a thing?
Vampires.
You like to play with your food.
Oh, Carmilla does, certainly.
Striga just kills her food.
Morana tortures hers for information on where the rest of the food is.
[grunts]
Who are they?
The ruling council.
Carmilla is queen of Styria, but we rule as a quartet.
Morana is the organizer. Striga is the warrior.
[Hector] Hmm. And, you?
The diplomat.
I'm Lenore. It's a pleasure to meet you, Hector.
If you three do all that, then what does Carmilla contribute?
You've met Carmilla. She's the spark.
We see the present. She draws down the future.
We're the body, and she's the dream.
She's the nightmare.
Would you like something to eat?
No. I like my rotten meat with maggots.
It's soft. With extra goodness in it.
Hmm.
[chews] Mmm. Oops.
Sorry. It must look like blood, mustn't it?
Would you like one?
Come on.
[chewing]
There.
What's your name again?
Lenore.
Thank you, Lenore.
I seem to have some roasted chicken here.
I'm afraid there are no maggots on it.
I can call the guard and ask him to get you some sprinkles.
[laughs]
That's quite the picnic you have in there. I never think of vampires as eating food.
Oh, we eat.
It's the blood that gives us our essential nourishment, of course.
You've probably seen a lot of that, having lived in Dracula's court.
But we enjoy all the good things of life. It'd be silly not to, wouldn't it?
[chuckles] Otherwise, well,
why live forever, if you're not going to live well?
Piece of chicken?
[grunts]
[breathing shakily]
It's all right. I'm not here to cause you any more harm.
Let's just have something to eat, and talk.
Thank you.
You're very welcome, Hector.
[Lenore gasps, grunts]
[clanks]
[grunts]
I know I can't kill you, but you call the guard
and tell him to unlock this fucking door
or I will rip your fucking throat out and break your fucking neck,
and we'll just see how fucking well you live.
[bats screeching]
[clanks]
[hissing]
My fucking throat?
[laughing]
[footsteps echoing]
Well.
Wasn't that fun!
I'm a diplomat, Hector. I make peace.
Carmilla thinks you're a useful idiot at best.
Striga wants to kill you when she thinks about you at all,
and Morana wants to torture you.
Not to get information out of you... just because she finds it calming.
I make peace.
And because of that, people think I'm soft.
People think I'm weak.
You won't make that mistake again, will you?
Fetch.
Good boy.
[medieval choral music playing]